


Super Soldiers: Reloaded

by WandaLannister



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Lemon, M/M, Multi, Shameless Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-05-08 05:58:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 227
Words: 177,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5486210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WandaLannister/pseuds/WandaLannister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Previously known as Super Soldiers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Take Two

"Are we hurting you, doll?" comes Bucky's voice in my ear, his tongue brushing against my earlobe. I shake my head and lean back against his shoulder, nodding at Steve. I bite my lip as Steve begins to glide into me. He goes very slow, its almost unbearable. When he is in me entirely, the three of us gasp at the sensation. It never gets old, the feeling of being so completely full and-

God, yes.

They both begin to move simultaneously, in that beautiful rhythm that is so familiar. Steve's mouth descends on my breasts, sucking and biting and licking my nipples into hardened peaks, while he takes me from the front. Bucky holds my legs apart for Steve, his mouth kissing my neck, while he takes me from the rear. I feel myself melt in their arms. Hot pleasure is coursing through my blood. I'm moaning incoherently, my body trembling with ecstasy. Bucky's metal hand creeps between Steve and me. Between my legs. Using a single finger, he starts stroking my clit. "Oh, god..." I moan and my head falls back against Bucky's shoulder. Steve leans down and captures my mouth with his, silencing my cries as I fall apart. I shudder and convulse while they keep riding out my orgasm. Somewhere through the fog of ecstasy that clouds my mind, I feel them both come inside me. When the final waves of pleasure pass, they both withdraw from me and lay me down between them. My body is exhausted and my mind is hazy. Steve kisses me lazily, draping my leg over his, while Bucky wraps his arm around my waist, kissing the back of my neck. I'm about to fall asleep when I hear Steve whisper against my lips "Ready for another round?"  
For a moment I'd forgotten that my lovers were super soldiers...


	2. Can't Handle A Little Competition?

"We're not going to let our best girl sleep so easily, are we, Stevie?" Bucky said, flipping me over so that I was facing him now. He took me into his arms and pressed me flush against him. His metal hand cupped my cheek with surprising gentleness and he brought his lips down to mine. I felt Steve's lips on my neck, while he came up behind me, his hands curving around me and going straight to my breasts. Tearing my mouth away from Bucky's I whimpered "Y-you both will be the d-death of me..."  
Bucky chuckled and smoothed my hair away from my face, before leaning down to kiss me again. Steve began to grind his hips into mine and I could feel that he was growing harder as he slipped between my ass cheeks. Steve's hands felt so amazing on me while he cupped, kneaded and teased my already sensitive breasts.  
Bucky's tongue played with my own, while began to grind his hips into mine from the front. One of Steve's hands stayed on my breast, while the other crept down, between Bucky and me, between my legs. Two of his fingers gingerly slid into me and I threw my head back against his shoulder. "Steve..." I moaned softly, my hand going down between my legs as well. I used my hand to guide Steve's, showing him exactly how I wanted to be touched.  
He learned immediately and his hand began to stroke me like I was a delicate instrument. I moaned Steve's name and I heard a growl in reply.  
Opening my eyes, I could see Bucky looking down at us with what could only be described as jealousy. Bucky had moved away slightly and his hands weren't touching me. I was so distracted by Steve's actions that I didn't notice that Bucky had stopped.

"What's the matter, Buck?" Steve asked, doubling up his efforts. "Can't take a little competition?"  
I opened my mouth to warn Steve, but only another breathless moan came out. Steve's hands were vigorous in their assault on my already sensitive flesh. Bucky was glaring at me, but I was too far gone to stop. A few moments more, and I shattered. Arching back against Steve, I came, releasing my juices all over his fingers. Steve held me to him and kept his hand moving until I had rode out my orgasm completely. He kept kissing at my neck, whispering sweet nothings against my skin. Once I finally came down from my high, I slumped against him, gasping. Turning around in Steve's arms, I kissed him deeply, trying to put on an exaggerated show for the jealous Winter Soldier, who was still watching us. "That was amazing, Captain..." I cooed, between kisses and I saw realization dawn in Steve's eyes. He knew that I was playing along in riling Bucky up.  
Steve brought up his fingers, that were still soaked in my juices and smeared some of it on my lips, before licking his fingers clean, one by one. "You taste incredible, Y/N..." he said, giving me a small wink. As I opened my mouth to answer, Bucky growled "I intend on finding that out myself."  
Oh, this was just getting better and better!


	3. The Winter Soldier Goes To Work

Bucky pulled me away from Steve and made me lie on my back beneath him. Hovering over me like a predator, he pinned my hands on either side of my head. Not saying a word, he leaned down and kissed me. And what a kiss it was. He slanted his mouth over mine and coaxed my lips apart so that his tongue could find its way into my mouth. I moaned and closed my eyes, parting my lips further, allowing him access. He released my wrists and my hands went into his hair, gripping them tight. Bucky cupped my cheeks while his tongue fucked my mouth. He wasn't gentle like Steve. This was a burning, smouldering passion.  
When he let me surface for air, I could feel my lips stinging from his kiss. He kissed down my neck, sucking and nibbling at my skin, leaving love bites. He slowly kissed down my stomach and kept going lower and lower.  
I closed my eyes and sank back into the pillows, as I felt Bucky open my legs. I could tell what was coming. Or so I thought.  
"Steve. I want your mouth on her breasts." Bucky commanded and my eyes shot open. Then he opened my legs wide apart, as far as they could go without hurting me. This caused my folds to open up for him. Before I could say a word, Bucky's mouth attacked me. His hands kept my legs apart, while he lashed his tongue against my clitoris. He flattened his tongue against the nub and began to lick it with his warm, moist tongue. Back and forth. Up and down. Side to side. I felt my toes curl and my right hand gripped Bucky's hair, pulling him closer.  
My hips began to gyrate against Bucky's mouth, my head falling back into the pillows. "Ahhh...." I moaned, heat beginning to rise up in my core. "Oh, god.....Bucky...." I whimpered.  
I could feel my clit swelling in size, under Bucky's lashing tongue when I felt Steve take one of my nipples into his mouth. He started to bite and suck at the flesh of my breasts, making me cry out in pleasure. He kept alternating between my breasts until my nipples were swollen red and hard, while Bucky buried his face deeper between my legs.  
The two of them kept going relentlessly, while I moaned and gasped and trembled. The scent of my juices was thick in the air. Their mouths worked me up into a frenzy and they made me come again and again. When they finally stopped, I was unable to move a muscle.  
I collapsed onto the pillows, feeling more relaxed than I'd felt in ages. It was pure bliss. My mind was drifting and everything seemed hazy. Steve lay down next to me, while Bucky slowly kissed his way up my body. He cupped my cheek and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. He lay down on my other side. I turned to Steve and gave him a kiss before burying my face into his neck. They both wrapped me in their arms and I felt Bucky kiss my shoulder. Steve kissed the top of my head and said "Now go to sleep, kids." I heard Bucky chuckle before I let sleep finally, finally claim me.


	4. Bring It On, Captain!

The early morning light was streaming in through the windows. Trying to shield my eyes, I turned away and buried my face into Steve's neck. I could tell that it was him, even with my eyes closed. And because Bucky was fast asleep behind me. I inhaled the scent of his skin.   
Mmmm. It was a warm, musky scent. It made me feel safe. I moved closer to him, tangling my legs with his. My movement made me aware of a swollen ache between my legs, no doubt from last night's activities. Steve's hand made its way along my thigh and I realized that he was awake too. His hand gently caressed my thigh, pulling me closer. As I pressed my hips into his, I felt his hard length pressing into my thigh.   
Lifting my head up from his neck, I grinned at him. And then I did two things. I leaned down and pressed my lips to his. And simultaneously, my left hand grasped his shaft. Steve groaned into my mouth, clearly surprised. And delighted, as I could tell by how eagerly he kissed me. Our mouths moved slowly, hungrily, our tongues moving together fluidly, while I pumped his length, from root to tip. I played with Steve like this for awhile.   
I'd kiss him slowly and stroke his shaft with equal slowness. Then when I'd pull away from his lips, to catch my breath, my hand would stroke him more urgently.

If the sounds he was making were anything to go by, Steve was more than ready. Once again, when I broke away to regain my breath, he surprised me by flipping me onto my back. Completely oblivious to our movements, Bucky let out a soft snore.   
Steve was on top of me now. And he was grinning, mischievously. He caught my hands and pinned them to the bed, on either side of my head. "I've had enough of your teasing, love. Now its my turn. I have a challenge for you..." he all but growled.

"Oh, bring it on, Cap" I said.

"I'm going to lay you down on the floor. And then I'm going to fuck you. Harder than I've ever fucked you before. But you are not going to make a sound. Not a sound that will wake up that punk there..." he said, pointing at a still asleep Bucky.

"Take your best shot, Captain..."


	5. A Show Like This

In one quick move, Steve lifted me and lay me down onto the carpeted floor. I looked at him as he crawled up my body, spreading my legs apart. I could feel his hardened length against the skin of my inner thigh. Looking up at his face, I felt my breath stop in anticipation. There was a moment of silence and then- Oh, god.

He glided into me without effort and I hadn't realized how wet I had become. As he filled me up, my already sensitive inner walls clenched hungrily at his girth. I bit my lip to stifle my gasp, but my body went taut, like a wire.

"Not a sound, Y/N..." he said, his voice strained and breathless. And then he began to move.   
As he pulled out of me and plunged in, he went deeper than before. My hypersensitive inner walls clenched at him like a vice, trying to stop him from leaving me. His thrusts were slow and deep, his nails digging into my thighs as he kept my legs open for him.

My eyes fluttered shut and my back arched against the floor. The pleasure was almost too much. He was trying to make this last for us. For me. I bit back another moan, tightening my arms around him. "Such a good girl...." he groaned, burying his face into my neck. I loved it when he called me a good girl.

I couldn't tell how much time had passed when Steve began to thrust his hips more urgently into mine. The sudden quickening of pace made me throw my head back. But I didn't let a sound escape my lips. The constant friction that he was creating within me was making my inner muscles become raw. Raw and swollen. And that only enhanced the pleasure for me. But I wasn't going to let him win.   
My hips began to rise up to meet his. My hands crept down his back and grasped his bottom. Digging my nails into his flesh, I started to pull him in deeper within me. Deeper. Until he hit that special spot inside me. I could feel the very tip of his length brush against that spot and suddenly, I couldn't hold back.

We both cried out in unison and he tilted his hips ever so slightly. So that he was directly hitting my most sensitive, most intimate area. Stars burst before my closed eyes as our bodies began to move more vigorously. The sinful sound of flesh slapping together filled the room.   
We forgot everything. The stupid challenge. The fact that Bucky was asleep in the bed beside us. Everything. It was just Steve. And me. And pure, unadulterated ecstasy. Before I could realize it, I felt my release hurtling towards me. Unable to do anything else, I pulled Steve to me and brought my lips to his. I moaned helplessly into his mouth, kissing him violently as I broke apart into a million pieces. He growled into our kiss and I felt his hot seed release into my womb. My core clenched and coaxed every last drop of him into me.

When he slowed down and finally stilled, he pulled away from my lips. It was then that I realized that my cheeks were wet with tears. Tears of ecstasy. Steve cupped my face and kissed me softly, his thumbs wiping away my tears.   
"Did I hurt you?" he asked, when he pulled away. I shook my head, unable to say a word. It was then that I was aware of how exhausted I was. Seeing how tired I was, Steve lifted me and lay me down on the bed and climbed in next to me. I looked at Bucky who seemed fast asleep still. But as I turned and buried my head into Steve's neck, ready to fall asleep, I heard Bucky say "I should pretend to sleep more often if I'm going to get to see a show like this."


	6. James

It had been a week since I had last seen the boys. They were out on missions. Steve was in Beirut, trying to investigate some Inhuman threats, while Bucky was in Malta. He had been called there on an emergency hostage extraction mission.   
I could hear my heels clacking against the floor as I made my way back to my apartment floor from the hospital. Working as the chief resident doctor for the Avengers was an extremely high stress job. You had to be available all the time. Especially when the team was out on mission.   
The stress only grew for me when one (or both) of my boys were out. I was a constant worrier and the fact that both Steve and Bucky were out made me incredibly anxious. Not that I had anything to worry about. They're both super soldiers. They can take care of themselves.   
"JARVIS, when are Steve and Bucky due to arrive?" I asked Tony's trusted AI. "The Captain will be arriving tomorrow morning, Miss (Y/N). And Mr. Barnes is due to arrive within the hour." came JARVIS' reply.

Okay. An hour for Bucky. I could handle it. Then he'd be here and we both could worry together about Steve. Opening the door to my apartment, I kicked off my heels and threw off my lab coat. Heading straight to the kitchen, I made myself a cup of tea to soothe my nerves.   
Halfway through my tea, I realized that the drink wasn't helping me much. And neither was the fact that I was feeling completely wrung out. Sighing, I set my cup down and headed straight to my bedroom.   
God, I needed a shower. Taking my hair out of its usual bun, I let it free, allowing it to flow down my back. Turning on the shower, I let it run for a few minutes until the water was steaming hot while I stripped off my clothes. Opening the door to the glass shower panel, I slipped in, directly under the running water.   
I let out a groan, running my hands through my hair, soaking them through while the water ran down my body. Yes. A shower was just the right idea. The water ran down my body in rivulets, soaking my hair, caressing my skin. God, I missed the boys. Especially after the wonderful night we'd had. I craved their touches. The water ran down my face, down my neck, down my breasts. Lower and lower until it slipped between my legs. My own hands began to follow the path of the water.   
I touched my lips, trying to imagine their lips on mine. Steve's kisses were always so gentle and soothing. There were nights when he'd kiss me to sleep. Bucky was always so passionate. So intense. It was like he was trying to kiss his fire into my soul. My hands cupped my breasts, my fingers kneading and massaging them, trying to mimic the way the boys would lavish them with their attentions. My breaths were coming out in gasps now and I leaned back against the glass panel wall, my right hand going between my legs. Wasting no time, I slipped a finger between my folds and into me. My back arched against the glass wall as I began to touch myself. The gloriously hot water streamed down my body, while I fucked myself. While it was incredible, feeling that familiar friction between my thighs, it was nowhere near satisfying. I added another finger and my head fell back in ecstasy against the glass wall. Oh, yes. This was much better. My hips bucked against the wall, my back arching as I began to move my hand with increased urgency. I needed to come. I just needed it so much.   
I was inching closer to my peak. My moans had become more frequent. A few more strokes and I knew I'd be done. But suddenly, a hand reached between my legs and stopped mine. My eyes flew open and I saw him. Bucky. He was fully dressed in his Winter Soldier uniform, standing under the shower, his wet brown hair sticking to his forehead. But his expression was what caught my attention. It was a mixture of pure wickedness and lust. "Taking matters into our own hands, are we, doll?" he said, grinning down at me.   
I don't know what it was, the relief that he was here, or the lust that was driving me insane, or the frustration that he'd stopped my impending release, I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him. Violently. I forced his lips apart and plunged my tongue into his mouth. The moan that I let out into his mouth when I tasted him on my tongue made him groan. Our mouth moved hungrily, our teeth gnashing, tongues fighting, hands roaming greedily.   
When I grew needful for air, I tugged at his hair and wrenched out mouths apart. "Fuck me, James.... I need you to fuck me...." I moaned into his lips. He didn't say a word. Just gave me a wink and a half grin and pulled me into his arms.


	7. Take Me

He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Running my hands through his hair, I began to kiss him. He took me out of the shower and placed me on the bathroom counter that was just beside the sink. "I...missed....you...." I managed to say, between kisses, my hands working to help him discard his uniform. Normally, I found his uniform really sexy, but right now, it just had to go. I pulled off his shirt, while he pulled down his pants, revealing the fact that he wasn't wearing any underwear. "Really, Buck?" I said, raising an eyebrow at him. "You think I'm the tease? What about the fact that you were touching yourself in the shower? Do you realize the effect it had on me, doll? Coming back from a mission and seeing my best girl. Completely naked. In the shower. Touching herself?" he said, finally taking off his pants and standing up straight. He was glorious.  
But I could see the fresh bruises on his skin and the cut on his right shoulder. He must have noticed the look of concern on my face. Cupping my cheek, he kissed me deeply. "Its nothing, doll. Don't worry."  
As we kissed again, his hands palmed my breasts and he began massage them. Slowly. I pulled away from his lips and threw my head back, arching my back, offering myself to him. "Yes...." I sighed, feeling his lips kiss their way down my neck. His tongue darted out to collect the droplets of water from my shower soaked skin. My own hand reached out for his shaft, but he stopped me. "No more teasing, doll."  
I leaned back and opened my legs for him, while he kissed between the valley of my breasts. Before I had time to think, he thrust into me. "Ahhh...." I moaned, feeling his hands grip my thighs while he dipped his head to my breasts and took my nipple in his mouth. The position that we were in, him standing between my legs and me sitting on the counter with my legs open gave him an incredible deep penetration. His thrusts were rough and deep, his mouth hungry as he devoured my breasts. I cried out in ecstasy as one particularly rough thrust made his tip hit my cervix. He groaned and increased his pace, burying his face into my neck. He was going so fast, the sound of our flesh smacking together filled the bathroom, echoing off the walls.  
My inner walls clenched at him frantically, while my legs tightened their hold around his hips. I could feel Bucky's thrusts become erratic and I could feel him throbbing inside me. My own release was close. So close. And that's when he did it. He buried his face into my neck and sank his teeth into my skin. Not too roughly, but the pain was just enough to send me off the edge. My contracting inner walls brought his release immediately after and I felt his warm seed fill my womb. We kept our hips moving, kissing lazily, trying to prolong each other's pleasure. When we finally stopped, Bucky placed a soft kiss to my neck, where he had bitten me.  
He slipped out of me and I moaned at the emptiness. He knew me enough that I wouldn't be able to walk to the bedroom, so he lifted me up into his arms and carried me there. Laying me down on the bed he turned away, mumbling about needing a shower.  
I grabbed his wrist and stopped him. "Come here..." I said, pulling him into my arms. I kissed him gently. "Stay here. The shower can wait. Stay with me." I moaned against his lips.  
He simply nodded and kissed me back.


	8. The Fist Of HYDRA

I groaned and turned onto my side, burying my face into Bucky's neck. Even the intoxicating scent of his skin could not calm me down. I just couldn't sleep. The fact that Steve still hadn't come back made me anxious. Every muscle in my body ached with exhaustion after Bucky and I had made love. But my mind refused to shut down. I was worried about Steve.  
The tension was eating me alive.  
I wanted Steve here. I wanted BOTH my boys here.  
My arms tightened around Bucky, who was fast asleep with his arms wrapped around me. He looked so young while he slept. So peaceful. As if HYDRA had never happened. Never robbed him of his innocence, his goodness, his life.  
His expression was relaxed, his eyes closed. His brown hair was tousled and I smoothed a few strands away from his forehead. His full lips were parted slightly, silently tempting me to kiss them. Unable to stop myself, I leaned down and touched his lips with mine. Once. Twice. Thrice.  
I felt him wake up at the third kiss and I pulled away to see his clear blue eyes looking up at me. "Doll? Are you alright?" he asked me, his voice thick with sleep.  
I shook my head and whispered "I can't sleep, James."  
"Steve?" he asked. I nodded. He cupped my cheek and kissed me softly. It was a gentle, reassuring kiss. I opened my mouth to him, letting his tongue in, while I pressed my breasts into his chest.  
He flipped me onto my back and crawled on top of me, never breaking our kiss. I could tell from the way his lips were moving against mine that he was worried about Steve too. But he was trying to keep it together and trying to reassure me. I ran a hand through his hair, tugging gently at the roots of his hair. As we kissed, I took his metal hand in my own and guided it between my legs. The delicious feeling of his metal fingers coming in contact with my aching folds made me moan into his mouth. "Touch me..." I sighed against his lips.  
He didn't need telling twice. Two of his metal fingers opened my folds, collecting the moisture there, lubricating themselves, before they plunged into me. Relief, lust and pleasure coursed through my veins simultaneously and I arched my back, moaning his name shamelessly. He silenced me with a kiss, while he began to fuck me with his fingers. The feeling of the long, smooth metal fingers gliding into my aching core was absolutely divine. My head fell back against the pillows, my hands gripping the sheets as I felt the familiar coil begin to tighten at the pit of my belly. My hips rose up to meet his fingers in time, my legs instinctively opening up further. Bucky had his other arm around my waist and he was holding me close, his mouth devouring my neck and my heaving breasts. His fingers had grown incredibly slick, due to the obscene amount of moisture that was gushing from my womb. That's why when he added a third finger and then a fourth, I barely felt any pain. Only pure, absolute ecstasy.  
My skin was soaked with sweat and I was moaning deliriously. He was suckling at my left breast, before turning and lavishing my right breast with the same attention.  
He had four of his metal fingers, knuckle deep within me and I was feeling impossibly full. That's when I had the idea.  
"B-Bucky...?" I moaned. He lifted his head up from my breasts and looked up at me, never ceasing the movements of his hand that was between my legs. "Yeah?" he asked. "I...uh.....I want your whole hand in me...." I gasped. I didn't even care if I sounded stupid, I was so far gone.  
But Bucky only grinned at me with an expression that can only be described as wicked.  
He withdrew his fingers from me and I gasped at the loss. Laying me down on my back, he crawled down my body until he was near my feet. "Spread your legs for me, doll." he commanded, in a husky voice and I immediately complied. He folded his fingers together, trying to make them as compact as possible, before he slowly began to penetrate me.  
I was already quite stretched and well lubricated and he began to inch his metal fist into me. I lay back, taking in deep, steadying breaths while Bucky carefully guided his fist into me. It was incredible how full and stretched I was. My inner walls were clenching his fist tightly. I let out a shaky breath when he was all the way in. It was too much for me.  
Or so I had thought, because that's when his metal fist began to vibrate inside me.  
Yes. Vibrate.  
My breath stopped and I immediately went into my first orgasm which was so powerful that I wasn't able to breathe. The vibrations didn't slow down, only increased in intensity, giving me one orgasm after another. "Again...." I'd moan and Bucky would draw out another peak from me. He kept going, for I don't remember how long.  
By the end, I was a sweaty, incoherent mess. And then Bucky did it. He brought his lips to my folds and began to suck directly at my clit. The movement of his mouth and the vibrations of his fist sent me into the most powerful climaxes of my life.  
It was so intense, that I lost my consciousness for a moment. When I returned, my inner thighs and the sheets were soaked with my juices. Not to mention, Bucky's mouth and his metal fingers. The scent of my sex was thick in the air. Gently, he eased his hand out of me and lay me back down onto the sheets. Lying down next to me, he kissed me gently, stroking my hair. All worries were gone from my mind for the moment and I sank into a deep, dreamless sleep.


	9. Like One Of Your French Girls

"Just relax, love. Look at me," came Steve's quiet voice, bringing me out of my thoughts. I looked at him and he was sitting on a chair, a few feet away from me. He had his sketchbook in one hand, which was resting on his knee. There wasn't a single sound in the room, apart from the sound of his charcoal stick scraping and scratching against the sheet of paper. Oh yes, and the sound of my heart pounding away madly. I was so nervous! And rightly so, because I was lying on a couch, in front of him, completely bare. He was sketching me.   
I could remember the beginning of this idea.   
As a part of Steve's 'orientation' to the current world, he had to be aware of all the parts of history he had missed out while he was frozen for 70 years. And that included music and movies. Which brought him to Titanic.   
Now, it wasn't the sinking of the great ship that interested Steve as much as the one particular scene where Jack makes a sketch of Rose, wearing nothing except for the Heart of the Ocean. I could understand why this interested Steve, he was quite the artist himself. But one day, he came up to me with the offer of drawing me 'like one of the French girls.' I was so surprised at his directness and eagerness when propositioned me, I couldn't help myself and agreed to it.   
Steve and I had been intimate many times before. But this was something else entirely! He was sitting in his chair, completely dressed, while I was lying before him without a stitch of clothing on. I could barely see his face, but I could see his eyes peer at me, over the top of his sketchbook, each time he paused his drawing to look at me. His eyes looked at me with such intensity, it made my breath hitch in my throat. From this distance, his eyes seemed to shine a bright, clear blue color. And the fact that his golden hair kept flopping onto his forehead made him look so adorable. I could let him draw me like this a million times over, just to see him look at me like this.   
"Am I making you uncomfortable?" he asked, when our eyes met again. I shook my head and tried to compose myself. "I'm nervous, Steve," I replied, my voice breaking at the end. He looked at me and the intensity in his eyes softened. Keeping his sketchbook aside he walked over to me. Sitting down on the floor in front of me, he took my hand in his. "Why?" he asked. I bit my lip, I didn't want to ruin the moment for him. But I also wanted to tell him everything I was feeling. All my insecurities.

"Its just that...I don't think I'm beautiful enough. I mean, this is real life, Steve! Its not a movie. I'm not the perfect, beautiful heroine who makes the hero fall in love with her. I'm just...me. Completely ordinary me! I just...I don't want to ruin this for you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I said, looking away from him at the ceiling as I spoke.   
I heard him chuckle quietly and then he said, "You think you're not beautiful?"   
He pulled me to the floor and lay me down on the carpet.   
Crawling on top of me, he kissed me. It was a long, dominant kiss, which took my breath away. When I became breathless, he pulled away and kissed down my neck.  
"For someone so intelligent, you can be really stupid at times, Y/N," he said, kissing his way to my breasts.   
"You don't need to be perfect! The fact that you agreed to do this for me, that you were ready for me to draw you, despite your insecurities makes me love you even more, Y/N."   
His lips traveled down my body as he said this, until he was between my legs. Opening my legs, he began to kiss along the soft skin of my inner thigh. "You have so much love, Y/N. Can't you see? The fact that you let yourself be shared between Bucky and me, that requires courage. It requires strength. You've accepted Bucky, you've accepted me, as we are, without any questions. And you've given yourself to us. Completely. In every way. That's what makes you perfect. That's what makes us love you", he whispered against my skin, before he finally brought his mouth where I needed him the most.   
I gasped and my head fell back, as pleasure began to run through my body.   
" S-Steve...." I moaned, my fingers running through his hair, massaging his scalp. He brought his hands under me and cupped my bottom, lifting me up slightly and burying his face deeper between my trembling legs. My eyes fluttered shut and I felt my peak approaching. Steve coaxed my tiny, swollen bundle of nerves from under its hood and latched onto it with his lips. His tongue lashed against it, again and again, until I was finally there.   
My back arched off the floor and I cried out, every muscle in my body relaxing pleasurably.   
When my vision returned, Steve was lying down next to me. He cupped my cheek and ran his thumb over my lower lip. "You're so beautiful, Y/N. Don't ever think otherwise," he said, before kissing me gently.   
When he pulled away, he had a glint in his eye and he said, "What do you think about finishing that sketch, love?"


	10. Good Girl

I could only hear his low groans I my ear as we moved together. After coming back from a particularly rough mission, James Buchanan Barnes had some plans for me. Those plans included depriving me of my sense of sight, my ability to talk and not allowing me to touch him. While he fucked me. He had tied my hands to the headboard of his bed with silk scarves, while my eyes were blindfolded. I was on my knees and elbows, my legs spread wide and my bottom raised high up in the air for him.   
"You're a filthy little whore, aren't you, Y/N?," he growled into my ear, his voice thick with lust. I wanted to scream "yes", but he had tied a gag over my mouth. "Yes. That is how you go about it, don't you? Pretending that you're a pure, innocent girl. But you can't fool me, doll."   
His metal fingers gripped my hair and tugged roughly, tilting my head back. I whimpered against the gag and struggled pathetically against my bonds. His right hand came down hard on my ass, making a loud, smacking sound, which was accompanied by a gasp from me. "I told you to stop struggling, didn't I?" he growled, giving my ass another rough smack. This time, a soft moan escaped my lips. I was hoping that he hadn't heard it. But he leaned over me, pressing his hard chest against my back and spoke into my ear "You like that don't you, slut?"   
At first, I didn't reply. I only leaned back, grinding my ass into his rigid cock. The metal fingers yanked my hair back sharply. "I said, you like that, don't you?" he all but roared, giving my ass a hard slap with every word. I whimpered and nodded frantically, delighting in the pain he was giving me. His right hand crept around my waist and slowly he dipped his middle finger into my folds. "You're all wet for me, huh, kitten?" he said, dipping his now soaked middle finger inside me. I moaned and arched back against him, my hips grinding against his hand, trying to create some friction. His metal hand pulled my hair and my eyes began to water behind the blindfold with the pain. "Don't you fucking move, you understand?" he said. I nodded. He withdrew his finger from me and I felt him guide the very tip of his cock between my folds.   
Lubricating the tip with my juices, he slowly reached my entrance. Before I could think of anything else, he plunged into me. Entirely. I cried out at the sudden invasion, the gag muffling my sounds. God, I felt so full. He was so long and thick and-   
Ahhh, yes.   
Without warning, he began to plunge in and out of me. His initial rhythm was a slow one. Slow, yet deep. He was stretching my inner walls. "So fucking tight..." he groaned into the curve of my neck. His metal hand gathered my hair up into a ponytail and he tilted my head to the side, pressing his lips into mine, kissing me through the fabric of the gag. I made a whimper of protest. I needed to feel his lips on mine! But he distracted me, by dipping his other hand into my folds, rubbing my clitoris between his thumb and forefinger. He gradually picked up the pace, until he was filling me to the brim and his sac was smacking against my folds with every thrust. The wet sounds of our flesh slapping together became our song, punctuated by his groans and my moans. His metal arm wound around my waist and he pulled me flush against him while he thrust frantically into me. His fingers pressed and pinched and flicked my clit, causing me to forget how to breathe. He buried his face into my neck and said one word.   
"Mine."   
And then he sank his teeth into the curve of my neck. My climax rushed through me like a whirlpool and I happily drowned in it, letting out a cry of pure ecstasy. My swollen inner walls clenched his cock hungrily, bringing him to his own release. He kept thrusting, releasing warm spurts of his seed straight into my womb.   
We both collapsed together onto the sheets and he pulled out of me, his hands working to free my bonds. He freed my hands and I then pulled the gag off while he removed my blindfold. The blindfold was soaked with my tears of pleasure.   
Flipping me onto my back, Bucky buried his face into my neck, gently kissing the very spot he had bitten earlier.   
"I really needed this, doll. Did I hurt you?" he asked, sweeping my hair away from my forehead. I shook my head, unable to speak because I was so exhausted. He sensed this and gently kissed my forehead and then he said "Sleep, kitten. When you wake up, I'll reward you for being such a good girl."


	11. Plans

It was yet another one of Tony's parties. I would have left earlier, if it weren't for my plan to tease the fuck out of Bucky and Steve. I was wearing a tight black dress, that had a deep scoop neck, showing off my neck and collarbones. The dress hugged my curves perfectly and ended mid thigh. I was also wearing sheer black stockings and high heels, also black.  
My hair was flowing freely down my back in glossy waves and I had on a slight cat eyeliner and a red lip.   
I knew that the stockings, the heels and the red lip would drive my soldiers crazy. But what would really send the message loud and clear was the fact that I was ignoring them completely. And also that I was flirting heavily with Tony.   
"You know, if it weren't for Capsicle and Frosty, I'd have to take you right here and now, Y/N..." Tony said to me as we were sitting at the bar. I'd had quite a few drinks over the course of the evening, so my mind was buzzing with alcohol. And I had significantly lesser inhibitions. "Come with me..." I grabbed Tony's wrist and hopped off the barstool, dragging him along behind me. I could hear Sam and Clint wolf whistling as we walked out of the room. A part of me was surprised that Tony did not resist whatsoever. Maybe he was drunk too. I caught a glimpse of Bucky as we were leaving and it was the perfect reaction. His fists were clenched, jaw taut and his face had pure rage written on it. Steve was furious as well, but his face showed a trace of hurt. I felt a twinge of guilt, but the booze spurred me on and I led Tony into one of the empty bedrooms on the floor. Turning around, I pulled him to me and just as I was about to kiss him, the door swung open.   
"STARK! YOU COCKSUCKING SON OF A BITCH!" Bucky roared.   
God, he looked ANGRY. He pulled Tony away from me and growled "OUT, MOTHERFUCKER. GET OUT BEFORE I RIP YOUR DICK OFF!"   
From the look on Bucky's face, Tony knew he meant business and he bolted from the room.   
And then Bucky turned his attention to me.   
Without saying a word, he pushed me into the nearest wall. His mouth came crashing down on mine and he began to kiss me, violently. His lips were pressing down on mine, his tongue ravaging my mouth. He pinned me between his body and the wall, his bionic arm around my waist, the other gripping my hair at the scalp. He kissed me, until I felt a metallic taste on my tongue. Pulling away from the kiss, he turned me around, so that I could feel his chest against my back. His flesh hand went under the hem of my dress and he growled when he realized that I wasn't wearing panties. His metal arm held me against him, while he dipped two fingers into my folds.   
"Why are you so wet, you little slut? Huh? Is it because of Stark?" he growled into my ear, fingers delving into my heat. I could feel the growing bulge in his pants, pressed against my ass.   
"ANSWER ME!" he roared, pushing two fingers in me without warning.   
"For y-you...." I moaned, my head falling back against his shoulder as his fingers began to fuck me vigorously. My dress had ridden up to my hip bone now. I tried to escape his relentless assault, but his metal arm wouldn't let me budge. His fingers built up a delicious friction and I was rolling my hips into his hand. I was moaning shamelessly, grinding into his hand and rubbing my ass deliberately against his hardening bulge. I was almost reaching my peak, when he stopped.   
I screamed in protest and he pushed me roughly onto the bed, where I landed on my back.   
"Shut up, whore. I've got plans for you", he said, his blue eyes sparkling mischievously.


	12. Kisses

He looked at me lustfully, before reaching for the hem of my dress, which had ridden up to my waist. Quickly, he pulled my dress off, while I arched my back, trying to assist the removal. I grasped his shoulders and leaned up to kiss him, bringing my mouth to his. His hands made quick work of my bra while we kissed and he tossed it somewhere across the room.

Breaking the kiss, he pushed me back into the bed and I landed with a huff. He looked at me, his eyes running down my body. I was wearing only my heels and my stockings. "Now you look like the slut you really are, doll", he growled, running his hands along my thighs.   
I reached for his shirt and pulled it over his head, before my hands began to work on his belt. Prying my hands away, he said "Oh, not yet", before turning around and calling out "Hey, Stevie! Come on in!"   
The door opened and Steve walked in, shirtless. Without saying a word, he locked the door behind him, before walking over to us. "Go and sit on the couch, Buck", he said to Bucky, in his authoritative voice, pointing at the couch in the corner of the room. Bucky lifted his weight off me and went to sit on the couch while Steve crawled up the length of my body. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he lifted us up into a sitting position, where he was kneeling and I was sitting in his lap. Suddenly, he brought his lips crashing down on mine. I gasped at the urgency of his lips, while his tongue explored my mouth. His hand was in my hair, while his other arm was around my waist, pulling me closer. I moaned into his mouth, feeling my lips bruising under the force of his kiss. Roughly, he tugged my hair back, breaking the kiss. He began to kiss down my neck, his teeth scraping against my skin as he went lower. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around him, leaning back while he left kisses all over my breasts. My hands grasped at his golden hair, while his mouth teased and sucked at my nipples.   
It felt incredible, pleasure laced with a bit of pain. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that my breasts were going to be very sore the next morning.   
Steve lay me back onto the bed, placing a pillow under my butt. The new position caused my hips to rise above the rest of my body. Steve kissed lower and lower, spreading my bent legs apart and I knew exactly what was coming. He ran his hands along my thighs, placing open mouthed kisses along my inner thighs. "Do one thing for me, Y/N. If you must feel the urge to call out my name, call me 'Captain'. Can you do that, darling?" he asked. I nodded, before looking over at Bucky who had the biggest shit eating grin on his face.   
Steve brought my attention to him, by leaning down and pressing a soft kiss just above my mound. Using his fore and middle fingers, he pulled my already moist folds apart. And then he dived in with his tongue. My breath stopped and my body went taut as he began to lavish my aching core with his tongue. The friction of his warm tongue against my folds felt incredible. "Oh, Captain..." I moaned softly. The pillow under me elevated my hips, giving him greater access. I closed my eyes, letting my head fall back as I ran my fingers lovingly through his silky hair.   
My hips gyrated against his hungry mouth, trying to get more of the delicious friction.   
I felt the weight on the bed shift and then there was a cool caress of metal on my cheek. "Kiss me, Bucky..." I moaned and he leaned down, capturing my lips with his. Steve gently slid two fingers into me and I moaned into Bucky's kiss. I don't know how they did it, but Bucky fucked my mouth with his tongue, mimicking the rhythm of Steve's tongue between my legs. My heels dug into the mattress and my legs shook. I lost count of how many times they brought me to completion. Again and again. When they finally stopped, I was a trembling, sweaty mess. Steve kissed up the length of my body, before finally reaching my lips, letting me taste myself on his tongue. I was far too exhausted and completely sated. Bucky took off my heels and gently peeled the stockings off my legs. They both lay down next to me, puling me into their arms. Their kisses lulled me to sleep and the last thing I remember was hearing Bucky say "Sleep now. We'll continue this once you wake up, doll..."


	13. The Beginning

*ONE YEAR AGO*

I absolutely dreaded being in the field. But at times, when the team needed the best medical help on hand, I had to accompany the Avengers during their missions.   
I never had the best experience in the field, as I had absolutely zero combat training and I was hopeless at defending myself. This landed me in quite a few sticky situations. Such as this one, where I was trapped in a remote, secluded cabin in a forest somewhere in the middle of nowhere. All we knew that we were in Siberia. And by we, I meant Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, the legendary super soldiers who were stuck with me. We had lost contact with the rest of the team and were in the middle of a raging snowstorm with no food or water.   
And to make things even worse, I had sprained my ankle.   
"Are you alright, Y/N?", came Steve's concerned voice. I was lying down in a corner of the room in a foetal position, trying to keep myself warm. I opened my eyes and looked at Steve and nodded. Bucky was poking and prodding around the fireplace, trying to light a fire. But his attempts were futile. God, they both looked worse for wear. They looked exhausted. But at least they weren't freezing, like I was. Apparently the serum that they both had been given had made them immune to cold temperatures. Enhanced thermal homeostasis.   
And here it was costing me all my energy just to keep my teeth from chattering.   
I just wanted to fall asleep, but the cold and the searing pain in my ankle was stopping me. Bucky had found a few filthy blankets somewhere in the cabin and he had covered me with them. They smelled funny, but something was better than nothing. And after about three hours of this cold, I was done.   
A violent shiver ran through me and Bucky looked at me. He came over to me and pulled the glove off his flesh hand. Placing his hand on my forehead, he winced. "You're freezing, doll", he said.   
His skin was so warm and inviting, I leaned into his hand instinctively. Bucky's eyes widened in realization. And he immediately began to undress himself. I was stunned speechless. "Buck. What are you doing?" Steve asked warily.   
"What do you think, Stevie? She's freezing here. Maybe some body heat can warm her up." he said, taking off his uniform's shirt, before going to work on his pants. Despite being near hypothermia, I couldn't stop myself from admiring Bucky's physique. He stripped down to his boxers and he knelt down beside me. "The thing is, Y/N, you'll get warmed up much faster if you took your clothes off too", he said, his voice turning deeper.   
"Bucky, you can't be seri-", Steve began.   
"Its o-o-okay, Steve. A-at this point, I'm o-open to anything..." I stuttered.   
Bucky grinned at me and quickly undressed me until I was only in my bra and panties. He scooted next to me under the blankets and pulled me into his arms.   
I gasped at the skin on skin contact, wrapping my arms around him. "God, Y/N. You were freezing!" he said, pulling me into his chest. His skin was radiating heat and I moaned softly, burying my face into his neck, inhaling the scent of his skin. "Thank you..." I sighed, closing my eyes, my fingers tracing mindless patterns on his back. The heat of his chest, caused my nipples to harden and I prayed silently that he wouldn't feel the effect he was having on me. My breaths became deeper and I relaxed in his arms. His flesh hand ran up and down my back and I couldn't help but notice that during each trip, his fingers would linger momentarily on my bra's clasp.   
"Take it off..." I whispered into his skin. "What?" he said, confused. I lifted my face from his neck and looked at him. "Take off my bra, Bucky..." I whispered, hooking my thigh up over his. His answering smile was breathtaking. In a flick of his fingers, he freed the clasp and then he flipped me onto my back, on the floor. His lips came crashing down on mine and his hands slowly lowered the straps of the bra down my shoulders. I kissed him slowly, my hands cupping his face, while I tasted his warm mouth. He discarded my bra and I felt his lips make their way to my neck. The warmth of his lips felt so incredible on my skin. I moaned and let my head fall back, while he latched onto a sensitive spot on the curve of my neck. His hands cupped my breasts and I gasped, feeling moisture begin to pool between my legs. I heard a groan from the corner of the room and opened my eyes to see Steve looking at us with an expression that could only be described as lust. My one hand was threaded in Bucky's hair while he kissed my neck, so I held my other hand out to Steve.   
"Come here, Steve..." I moaned. He grinned. "I thought you'd never ask, darling", he said.


	14. Made For Us

The three of us were a tangle of limbs on the floor of the cabin. I was lying on top of Steve, his chest pressing into my back, while Bucky hovered on top of us. My head fell back against Steve's shoulder, while I felt Bucky beginning to penetrate me.   
"Go slow, Buck..." Steve cautioned him, while his hands massaged my breasts. I was amazed how patient Steve was, considering the fact that he was already in me, from the rear and I could feel how badly he wanted to fuck me senseless.   
I felt Bucky's tip at my entrance and I stiffened, trying to close my legs. But Steve reached out and grasped my thighs, opening them wide apart for Bucky.   
"Relax, sweetheart. It will feel real good soon..." Steve whispered in my ear. I nodded and relaxed against him as Bucky resumed his efforts. Inch by inch, he began to glide into me and I moaned while my body tried to adjust to the double penetration.   
When Bucky was in all the way, he groaned deep in his throat.   
"She was made for us, Stevie..." he groaned, burying his face into my neck.   
A few moments later, they began to move. Together. A moan broke free from my lips. I was feeling like my body had been burning and aching for their touch for ages. And finally the ache was being soothed.   
It was the perfect combination of pain and pleasure. Steve reached down around me, between my legs and slid his fingers between my folds, touching Bucky's cock where it was plunging into me. My inner muscles were clenching and contracting around their lengths, trying to draw out pleasure from their bodies. I turned my head to the side, reaching out to kiss Steve, before Bucky pulled me into another kiss.   
They both manipulated my body into various positions, drawing out orgasm after orgasm from me until I couldn't move. At last, when they finished with me, I was a trembling mess. Bucky pulled me into his arms, kissing me lazily while Steve kissed along my back. Something huge had changed between the three of us. And before falling asleep, I came to the realization that it was going to be the last time the three of us had been together this way. There was going to be a lot to talk about, but it would have to wait.   
For now, I was happy here, falling asleep in their arms.


	15. Shower Steve

The early morning sunlight was streaming in through the windows. I groaned and turned away from the light, wanting to sleep for a little while longer, since it was a Sunday.

Willing yourself to sleep once you've woken up can be difficult. I could vaguely hear the sound of the shower running in the bathroom. Realizing that my attempts at falling back to sleep were failing miserably, I decided to wake up for once and for all. I sat up slowly, letting the covers slide down my body, exposing my bare chest. My nipples turned hard upon exposure to the cool air in the bedroom. Tossing the covers aside, I stood up and began to walk over to the bathroom. On the way, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My hair was a mess, running down my back in a tousled waterfall. My lips were swollen red and it made me blush because the boys were responsible for it. And also for the red marks on my neck and breasts. They did get a bit aggressive at times. Like last night.   
Smiling to myself, I made my way to the bathroom and the sight in front of me made me pause in the doorway. Steve was in the shower, his back turned toward me. He was running his hands through his golden hair, giving me a perfect view of his insanely sculpted back muscles. The water ran in rivulets, down the lanes of his back. I looked up at his broad shoulders and his strong, muscled arms and felt my knees grow weak. How many times had he held me in those arms, making me feel safe and wanted? How many times had I clutched desperately onto those shoulders, moaning in ecstasy while he made love to me?   
My eyes followed the water as it flowed down his back, down to his tight, perfectly toned ass and down his strong, powerfully built legs. I bit back a moan. Captain Rogers was a work of art. A fine work of art.   
I snuck into the shower and immediately wrapped my arms around him, pressing my breasts into his back. He stiffened. "Good morning, Captain," I whispered in his ear and he relaxed immediately. Chuckling, he turned around and pulled me into his arms, before leaning down to kiss me. His hand made its way to my now wet hair, tugging my head back while he kissed me, deeply. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against mine. "A good morning, indeed," he breathed, pressing soft kisses against my neck. He pressed me back against the glass wall of the shower as his lips began to gradually move south. I moaned when I felt his mouth around my nipple, while he massaged my other breast in his hand. Arching back against the glass, my fingers gripped at his hair, while he lavished my breasts with his lips. One of his arm was around my waist, holding me up against him. I inhaled sharply when I felt his fingers glide into my folds. It was his touch that made me realize exactly how wet I was. Steve coaxed his middle finger into me and I gasped. It went in effortlessly, with almost no resistance and I bit my lip when he began to fuck me with his finger. His mouth was still at my breasts, alternating regularly, sucking and biting my nipples into hardened peaks. I moaned when he added another finger, my hips bucking into his hand. The combined effect of his mouth and his fingers, along with the warmth of the water running down our bodies brought me to my edge. Shuddering and gasping, I came over his fingers, while he kept on pleasuring me, right through my climax.   
I was definitely going to fall, considering how my badly legs were shaking, but Steve held me. "Bed?" I gasped.   
"Yeah, hold on," he said, turning off the water, before lifting me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck and he carried me easily to the bedroom...


	16. Birthday Presents

It had been a few weeks ago, when Bucky and I had spoken with each other regarding our deepest, darkest sexual fantasies. The topic had come up out of the blue and I had been a little drunk. Okay...VERY drunk. Needless to say, I confessed all my hidden desires to the Winter Soldier.   
I just wanted to play the shy, innocent, submissive girl. The girl who wanted to be DOMINATED. Bucky had a glint in his eye when I was telling him about my fetish. I couldn't put my finger on what exactly he was thinking about at that precise moment, but I could tell that the gears in his brain were working in full force.   
And before I had the chance to hear about his fantasies, I passed out cold from the drinks.   
It was the night before my birthday and I was fully in the middle of a pamper session. I'd had a long, relaxing bath, complete with candles and music. Once I was all prepped and primped and blow dried and moisturized, I slipped into a pink satin baby doll, wearing nothing underneath. Bucky was sitting in the living room area of my apartment, surfing idly through the TV channels. I looked at the time and was slightly surprised to see that it was two minutes to midnight.   
Two minutes for my birthday to begin.   
"Anything interesting on TV, Bucky?" I sang in my sweetest voice, walking over to where he was seated on the couch. "Nothing really, its just the same.... oh, wow. You look amazing, doll," he said looking at me, his eyes running over my body, from top to bottom. I took the remote from his hand and tossed it aside before climbing onto his lap. Straddling him, I leaned in and began to kiss along his jawline. "Really? Its my birthday, Bucky. Did you forget?" I whispered into his ear, grinding my hips into his slowly. He groaned and grasped my hips with both hands. "Happy Birthday, doll", he groaned as I kept rolling my hips against his languidly, feeling a sizeable bulge forming in his pants. Cupping his jaw I leaned in to kiss him deeply. "Where's my present, Daddy?" I moaned against his lips. His reaction was immediate. I felt his hands tighten their grip on my hips and he pulled me closer.   
"Say it again," he said, his voice thick with lust.   
I threaded my fingers through his hair, tilting his head back before leaning in and slanting my mouth over his in a savage kiss. "Where...is...my....present....Daddy?" I whispered, punctuating each word with a kiss. In a flash, he had lifted me up into his strong arms and we were headed to my bedroom. He threw me onto the bed where I landed with a bounce of the mattress. In the process, my satin gown rode up my thighs, revealing my bare pussy to him.   
His eyes widened for a fraction of a second, before his face broke into a wicked grin. "No panties? My little girl has been very, VERY bad this year..." he said, pulling his t shirt over his head and tossing it aside. My eyes wandered over his broad chest, his obscenely well defined abs and that gorgeous "V" at his hips that led down to....  
"Eyes on me, baby girl", he said, crawling up the length of my body, his face level with mine. His mouth came down on mine and my body came alive. He kissed me until I was gasping for air and then he began to kiss along my neck. They were slow, open mouthed kisses, leaving a trail of fire on my skin. He hooked his fingers into the straps of my gown, pulling them down my shoulders, until the tops of my breasts were exposed.   
He buried his face into the valley of my heaving breasts, kissing and sucking and biting at each inch of my skin. Both his hands cupped my breasts, kneading and squeezing the soft mounds of flesh. My hips rose up to grind against the fully grown bulge in his sweatpants, causing him to groan. The movements of my hips had caused my gown to ride up my thighs, fully exposing my pussy. While Bucky ravished my breasts, he slipped his thigh between my slightly parted legs and I began to grind down on his knee.   
"Oh, Daddy.....yes, touch me, Daddy...." I moaned breathlessly. He groaned again, pushing my gown further up my thighs.   
"Daddy is going to take care of you, sweetheart. Open your legs for me, doll. As far as you can go," he growled, sounding slightly out of breath.   
I opened my legs wide and he hooked my thighs over his shoulders. Reaching under me, he cupped my ass cheeks before diving in. Exactly where I wanted him.   
His tongue delved into my aching, swollen folds, lapping away, creating that glorious slurping sound. I threw my head back, my hair a complete disarray, while I moaned and cursed breathlessly. My hips ground into his waiting mouth, while I clutched at his chocolate brown hair with both hands. His mouth brought me to completion two times, each time more intense than the last.   
When he finally lifted his head up from between my legs, I could see that his mouth was glistening with my wetness. I was trembling while he kissed up my body, before he grabbed my gown and tore it into half, clean down the middle. I squeaked nervously while he discarded the pink satin scraps. Stripping off his sweatpants, he crawled on top of me, stroking his immense manhood.   
Aligning himself with my entrance, he slowly slipped into my aching core. I sighed in pure relief, throwing my head back while he buried himself deep in me. My legs wrapped around his hips automatically. He slowly pulled out of me, until only his tip was inside me, before surging back into me.   
"Oh, Daddy..." I moaned, while he set a familiar rhythm, his thrusts deep and heavy. My inner walls clenched hungrily around his girth, already made sensitive by the two orgasms he had given me before. "My sweet girl..." he groaned, burying his face into my breasts. Beads of sweat began to form on our bodies as we moved together, the bed groaning due to the power of his thrusts. Each time he plunged into me, the base of his shaft would brush against my swollen bundle of nerves, bringing me that much closer to the edge.   
"Faster, Daddy....I wanna come...." I moaned, feeling the pleasure build and rise inside me. My chest heaved as I closed my eyes, trying to find release. But my peak was just out of reach. "I...I can't, Daddy...." I moaned in frustration.   
"You can and you will, baby girl..." he said and sped up his thrusts. Reaching down between our bodies, he slipped two fingers of his bionic arm into my folds and made them vibrate against my bundle of nerves.   
White hot pleasure engulfed me and with a wordless cry, my body released all of its built up tension in glorious waves of ecstasy. As I rode out my peak, Bucky reached his own, spilling his seed into me in warm spurts.   
Collapsing into each other's arms, we lay side by side, gasping and recovering and kissing lazily. "Go to sleep, doll. Its your birthday and Daddy has so many more presents to give you," Bucky whispered in my ear before I fell asleep.


	17. Who Are You?

Steve was still out on his mission with Nat, and Sam. Bucky knew that I was upset with Steve's absence on my birthday and had decided to throw me a birthday party. With Tony's "assistance", of course.

Tony had gone all out and invited the rest of the team: Rhodey, Maria, Thor, Clint, Wanda, Pietro and Bruce. Pepper, Jane, Darcy were also present. As was Vision.  
The party had gone on all night. We'd had a lovely dinner and the drinks just kept flowing. As a result, most of us had had a little too much to drink by the end of the party. I was quite drunk myself. Hell, it was my birthday!  
While I was saying goodbye to Pepper and thanking Tony for such a wonderful birthday dinner, I could see Bucky and the silver haired speedster talking in hushed voices in a corner of the room. That was odd. Just as I was about to walk over to them to see what was going on, I felt someone take my hand.  
"Happy Birthday, once again, Y/N!" Wanda smiled excitedly, kissing me on the cheek. "You look beautiful tonight. And I love your dress!" she said, beaming. I smiled back and replied "Thank you so much, Wanda! I'm so glad you could make it to the party."  
"Oh, I definitely would not have missed this! I hope you have fun!" she sang, with a twinkle in her eyes. Before I could ask her what she meant, she was off. Oh, well. Sometimes she could be weird. And quick too, considering how fast she left the room. Speaking of fast, Pietro had vanished as well, without saying goodbye. What had he and Bucky been talking about?  
"Hey, doll. Enjoyed the party?" Bucky whispered in my ear behind me, before whirling me around and pulling me into a kiss. When we broke apart, Bucky pulled out a black blindfold from his pocket.  
"What's this?" I asked.  
"Its just another one of your birthday presents, doll", he said, tying the blindfold over my eyes.  
I couldn't see a thing. "Bucky, what are you doing?" I asked, worry creeping into my voice. He silenced me with a kiss.  
"Trust me, darling. Come on."  
He took my hand in his and guided me, keeping his bionic arm firm around my waist.  
"Alright, we're here", he said, opening a door and ushering me in. I heard the door close behind me.  
"Can I remove this now?" I asked, reaching for the blindfold. Bucky stilled my hands and said, "Don't touch the blindfold until I tell you. Can you do that for me, doll?"  
Oh. So THAT'S how he wanted to play.  
I nodded.  
"Such a good girl. But there is one more rule, doll. You will not touch me, okay? I'll be touching you, but your hands will be tied back, alright?"  
I smiled and said yes.  
Bucky gently tied my wrists together behind my back with a silk scarf. The knot was firm, but not painfully tight. Bucky and I had played this way before, it wasn't new to me.  
But something felt different tonight. Maybe because I was drunk.  
His hand gently cupped my cheek, pulling me from my thoughts. And then, I was being kissed. Due to the fact that I was blindfolded, my other senses were heightened. His kiss was soft, as if I was made of glass. Delicate. Breakable. I opened my lips to the kiss, tilting my head to deepen the kiss. His tongue glided into my mouth and I moaned, allowing him to explore my mouth slowly. When I grew breathless, he pulled back for a moment before capturing my lips once more. I could feel the rough stubble on his cheeks against my skin as we kissed.  
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that something was wrong. Why was Bucky hesitating? His lips felt different against mine. The way he was kissing me felt different. And his scent. His scent was different. Intoxicating all the same, yet foreign.  
"Who are you?" I whispered, pulling away from the kiss. I felt him kiss along my jawline, while I heard Bucky's voice from behind me whisper in my ear.  
"You need to guess, doll..."


	18. The Guess

I felt soft lips against my neck, laying kisses on my skin. "Just relax, doll. I'm right here", Bucky whispered into my ear from behind and I felt him fiddle with the zip of my dress. The mystery man in front of me, caught my lips with his again, running his fingers through my hair. I moaned into his mouth, kissing him back with equal need, while Bucky began to unzip my dress. Unzipping the back almost all the way down to the small of my back, I felt Bucky kissing along the back of my neck, his lips leaving a fiery trail down my bare back.   
"Go on, undress her", Bucky commanded and I felt the man before me gently lowering the straps of my dress down my arms. He pushed me back, laying me down on a bed. I felt Bucky's metal fingers gently stroke my cheek while he spoke.   
"I'm going to untie your hands, darling. Use your hands and feel him. See if it helps you identify who he is. But I won't remove your blindfold, okay? I'll be sitting right here. Watching. I'm leaving you to him, for now. If you want this to stop, just say the word. Although I'd prefer if you didn't, 'cause I'm enjoying the show so much", he said before placing a kiss at the corner of my mouth while he freed my hands. I felt Bucky's weight lift off the bed.   
"She's yours now", Bucky told the mystery man.   
I waited for a few moments.   
Nothing happened.   
And then I felt a hand on my left foot, removing my heeled shoe. He repeated the motion on my other foot, before I felt his weight on the bed, while he was crawling up the length of my body. He was hovering above me, I could feel his breath on my face. His lips descended on my neck, and I reacted instinctively, running my fingers through his hair. I noticed that his hair was a little on the long side. And it felt like strands of silk between my fingers. His stubble brushed against my skin while his hands began to lower the front of my dress, pulling the straps off my arms, slowly revealing my breasts. I shivered when my nipples came in contact with the cool air of the room. With a groan, he buried his face into the valley between my breasts. I moaned and threw my head back, while he took my nipples into his warm mouth alternatively, sucking and nibbling at the tips. My breath hitched in my throat and my fingers tightened in his hair. Steve and Bucky had never paid such thorough, single minded attention to my breasts.   
"Her breasts are lovely, aren't they?" Bucky asked him. He groaned in reply. Once my nipples had turned into swollen, hard peaks, he began to kiss his way south, all the while pushing the hem of my dress up my thighs. Gently hooking his fingers into the waistband of my now soaked panties, he pulled them off. I felt him pull away from me and then heard the rustling of a cloth. When he returned to my arms, I found that he was shirtless. "Kiss me..." I mewled and he pulled me flush against him into another passionate kiss. While we kissed, I used my hands to explore his body. He was incredibly muscular. He had a broad chest, strong arms, washboard abs.   
His kiss and the alcohol I had drunk made me dizzy. Through the cloud of lust in my mind, I began to think, while he spread my legs open. As he lavished kisses along the soft skin of my inner thighs, my mind went into overdrive. Who was he?

It couldn't be Bucky. Steve and Sam were out on a mission. Rhodey, Clint and Bruce did not have a stubble on their cheeks.

He placed his hands on my hips, stilling my movements before he brought his mouth down on me. Oh, God. He was incredible. His tongue darted into my folds, exploring, probing my most intimate and sensitive area. "She tastes incredible, doesn't she?" Bucky asked him, in a voice thick with desire. He groaned in agreement and buried his face further between my legs. His stubble brushed against my inner thighs, heightening the pleasure. My head fell back and my fingers clutched at his hair, pulling him closer while my hips slowly rolled against his mouth.

My mind went to Thor and Tony for a moment, but the man who was currently between my legs did not have Thor's long hair. Nor did he have Tony's distinct beard shape.   
His tongue began to speed up his ministrations, lashing against my clit furiously, I knew I had found my answer.   
And when I finally gave in to the pleasure that this man was giving me, I cried out his name.   
"Oh, Pietro....!"


	19. Prinţesă

I clutched at his hair, holding him between my legs while I rode out the waves of pleasure. When I came down from my peak, I slumped back against the pillow, breathing heavily. The blindfold came off my eyes in a flash and it took me a moment to adjust to the sudden light before I saw Pietro's face hovering over mine.   
He had that shit-eating grin on his face.  
"Its you..." I breathed, reaching up to stroke his cheek.   
"Of course, it is me, prinţesă", he said, turning his face to kiss the palm of my hand.   
He leaned in and kissed me again and this time I could taste myself on his tongue. He ran his fingers through my hair, kissing me slowly. When he pulled away, I looked over to see Bucky seated on the couch. His pants were undone and he was stroking his fully erect manhood while keeping his gaze fixed on Pietro and me.   
Suddenly I remembered his words.   
He wanted a show, right?   
The alcohol spurred me on and I turned us over, with Pietro lying on his back and me on top. I made quick work of his pants and boxers, discarding them. Leaning in to kiss him, I reached down between his legs and grasped his hardened shaft. He groaned into my mouth as I began to stroke him. I went down to the base of his length, then going up all the way to the tip. Gradually I began to increase the speed of my strokes, making sure to pay attention to his entire length. "Dracu ' prinţesă!" he groaned, throwing his head back.   
Kissing my way down his body, while stroking him simultaneously, I came down to my destination. A few drops of precum had collected at the very tip of his length, the tip swollen and red. I took Pietro into my mouth, while looking directly at Bucky, keeping eye contact. Both of them groaned in unison.

I began bobbing my head up and down on Pietro's throbbing length, taking as much of him as I could in my mouth while stroking the remaining length with my hand. Running my tongue along his tip, I sucked at him while moving my head up and down. All the while I kept eye contact with Bucky.   
Pietro was panting and cursing, beads of sweat forming on his forehead while his hand grasped my hair. Bucky was grinning wickedly at me, almost as if he was proud, while stroking his length in time with the rhythm I had set for Pietro. I could feel that Pietro was close by the way his fingers tightened their grip in my hair.   
Bucky understood that as well.  
"That's enough, doll. I want to see him take you now...", Bucky drawled. I stopped and released Pietro from my mouth with a loud 'pop'. I kissed the tip of his shaft gently, before sitting up and asking in my most seductive voice, "Where do you want me, Pietro?"   
Before I could blink, I was sitting on the wooden dresser in the corner of the room, my legs hanging off the edge. Pietro was standing in front of me, running his hands along my thighs.   
"Perfect height, no?" he asked, spreading my thighs apart and taking his place between them. And then without any warning, he plunged into me. To the hilt.

"Mmmm. Perfect..." I moaned, closing my eyes. He began slowly, in long, deep thusts. His girth made sure that each nerve present in the length of my passage was stimulated. I wrapped my legs around his hips, bracing my hands on the dresser for support as I leaned back.   
Pietro's hands stroked my thighs and ran over my back while he devoured my breasts. Gradually he began to speed up, his powers beginning to kick in.   
I threw my head back, locking my legs tighter around his hips. I was so close to my climax. I was on a plateau because Pietro was neither slowing down, nor was he speeding up. He was holding back, I could feel it in the way he was breathing. He was trying to remain in control.   
"Pietro, faster.... Please...." I moaned. He shook his head and said in a strained voice "I will hurt you, prinţesă."

I cupped his face and kissed him hungrily. "Pietro Maximoff, I want you to go as fast as you can.... I want you to make me come as many times as I can... Please, do it, Pietro..." I whispered against his lips. He looked into my eyes before giving me a slight nod.   
And then he really began to thrust. With a loud cry, I wrapped my arms around him, throwing my head back as my orgasm hit me like a freight train. He buried his face into my neck, pressing himself against me, engulfing me in his arms.   
I completely lost myself in the moment. He brought me to completion. Again and again. I could feel the next orgasm building, even before the previous one wore away. He was relentless. And the ecstasy was overwhelming. Almost unbearable.   
I was delirious when the last, most powerful one hit. It was so intense that for a moment, I thought I was going to die from the pleasure. The pleasure was blinding. I couldn't even remember if I screamed.   
I didn't even remember when he stopped. The next thing I knew was that i was lying on the bed, gasping for air while Pietro gently kissed the tears away from my eyes. Tears? When had they come?  
Bucky lay down on my other side, wrapping his arm around my waist. "Go to sleep, doll", he whispered, kissing my shoulder.

Steve was coming back from his mission tomorrow. I was really looking forward to seeing him. And a part of me was worried. About how he would take the things that had happened tonight.   
Pietro broke my chain of thoughts and placed a soft kiss on my lips before whispering "Goodnight, prinţesă.."   
It was then that the alcohol and the exhaustion finally caught up with me and I finally, finally succumbed to sleep.


	20. The Call

I woke up to the early morning rays streaming in through the windows. Groaning, I turned over to my left side, the side of the bed where Steve usually slept. My hand instinctively reached out for him, but my fingers only found the sheets.  
"He hasn't returned yet, doll..." Bucky mumbled into my ear, his voice so adorably sleepy. I felt something clench in my chest. It had been days since I'd seen Steve.  
God, I missed him so much. I missed his smile. His laugh. His voice.  
His touch. His taste.  
I wanted him. I needed to see him.

Reluctantly pulling myself away from Bucky's arms, I stood up. Too soon, though. Last night's drinks and "activities" had finally caught up with me and I swayed for a moment. Head rush.  
When the dizziness calmed down a bit, I began to walk towards the bathroom. There was a dull soreness between my legs, which was exacerbated with each step I took. I placed my hand on the dresser for support, the same dresser on which Pietro had ravished me last night. God, he had been thorough.

I stepped into bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. Oh.  
My hair was a complete mess, tangled and tousled. My lips were swollen and the skin on my neck and breasts was covered in love bites. Pietro. It was all his work.  
I couldn't complain, though. Every single moment of last night was incredible.  
Stepping under the warm stream of the shower, I sighed in relief. Letting the warmth of the water soothe and relax the muscles of my back, I began to untangle my hair with my fingers. A long, hot shower was exactly what I needed to start my day after last night.  
Once I was done, I quickly dressed and made my way to the dining area to grab some breakfast. No one else had woken up yet. Except Tony.  
He was sitting at the table, holding a glass of iced coffee to his head, looking thoroughly hungover.  
"Hey, Tony", I greeted him, kissing him on the cheek before making my way to the fridge to pour myself a glass of orange juice.  
"Have you heard from Steve yet?" I asked, sitting down on the chair opposite to him.

"No, sweetie, I did not hear from Steve. Or Nat for that matter. But I DID hear quite a bit of interesting, ahem, activities going on inside your room last night", he said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at me.  
"Oh, no", I groaned, burying my face in my hands.  
"You seemed like you were having quite an after party there, am I right?" he asked, grinning at me.  
When I glared at him, he raised his hands in mock surrender.  
"Okay, okay, sweetcakes. But there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm not judging you."

"Thank you, Tony."

"But tell me, really. Is Speedo better than Capsule?"

"TONY!!!!" I shrieked, my face turning beet red.

"Okay, okay. I'll stop now", he said, chuckling. Taking a sip of coffee, he asked "Hey, FRIDAY, did you receive any updates from Steve or Nat last night? Heaven knows we all were pretty knackered last night to keep track of any incoming calls."

"Yes, sir, we received a call from Captain Rogers last night. He was enquiring about Miss Y/N's whereabouts", came the calm reply of Tony's female voiced AI.

A sense of pure dread filled me.  
"And what did you tell him, FRIDAY?" I asked, my voice shaking a bit.

"I told Captain Rogers that you had retired to your bedroom with Mr. Barnes and Mr. Maximoff, Miss Y/N."

Oh my god.  
Tony's AI had told Steve about Pietro.  
I looked at Tony, panic stricken.  
"What did Steve say after you told him that, FRIDAY?" he asked his AI.

"Captain Rogers was silent for a moment, before disconnecting the call, sir."

"Oh no no no no no no no no...." I moaned. It was obvious. He knew it. I knew that he knew it. I hurried towards the recreational centre where I knew I would find some privacy.  
Taking matters into my own hand, I dialed Steve's number. The call went unanswered. Thrice. Steve never left my calls unanswered.  
I decided to call Nat. She answered on the second ring.  
"Hey, Nat. When are you guys reaching here?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm.  
"We'll be there in a couple of hours. Y/N, did something happen between with you and Steve? He's been very upset since he called the you guys last time. Angry even", she said, concern lacing her voice.  
She had every right to be concerned. They were out on a mission. And Steve was never the type of guy who would lose his cool easily. Even in the toughest of situations, he kept his head straight.

"Oh, no. Its nothing. Everything is fine", I said, trying to fake an air of nonchalance in my tone.  
I failed miserably.  
It wasn't easy to lie to a trained Russian assassin.  
Natasha went silent for a few moments and I knew that she could tell that I was lying. But this time, she let me go.  
"Alright, Y/N, I'll catch you guys later. Bye", she said before hanging up.

Steve knew. He was ignoring my calls. He would never ignore my calls. Natasha could tell that something was wrong. It wouldn't take her long before finding out the exact reason behind it.  
I was scared and worried. Had I jeopardized the mission by upsetting Steve?

And had I jeopardized our relationship by sleeping with Pietro?


	21. You Belong To Me

"The Quinjet has landed, Miss Y/N," came FRIDAY's calm voice, sending my heart into overdrive. I had been sitting in my bedroom, alone. After speaking with Bucky, we'd decided that it was best if each of us spoke to Steve on our own. Bucky said he'd go first and speak to Steve as soon as he arrived.

Well, the Quinjet had landed. It was only a matter of time before Bucky went to Steve.   
As the minutes ticked by, I felt myself getting increasingly anxious. I didn't dare to step out of my room.   
Somehow, I couldn't bring myself to face Steve. It was cowardly of me, I knew. Sitting holed up in my bedroom, instead of doing the grown-up thing and just talking to him. But I had never been a fan of confrontations.   
Sitting on my bed, I clutched a pillow to my chest, lost in my thoughts until a knock on my door brought me back.   
It was Bucky.   
"Steve wants to talk to you, Y/N," Bucky said as soon as he entered.

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"You met him? What did he say?"

Bucky smiled wearily at me and it was then that I noticed a bruise under his right eye.   
"Steve did this?" I asked, appalled.   
"Yeah, doll. And he wouldn't speak to me. He just told me to send you to his room. Ordered it, more like."

I nodded and gave Bucky a soft kiss on the cheek before I began to make way to Steve's room. His room was on the floor above mine and I decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator.   
It gave me more time to compose myself.   
When I reached his door, I took a deep breath.

'Calm down, Y/N. He is not going to kill you,' I told myself, before knocking.

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No response.

"Steve, its me. Please open the door," I called out, knocking again.   
I heard his sure footsteps before the door swung open.

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He was standing in front of me, wearing black jeans, a blue shirt and a look of anger on his face. Steve never got angry at me.

"Steve, I..."

"Get in," he said, coldly. I entered his room and he slammed the door shut behind him.   
Suddenly, he grabbed me by the waist and pushed me up against the wall.   
"How was your birthday party, Y/N? Did you have fun?" he asked me, his voice icy cold, while his eyes burned into mine.

I didn't respond. I was too shocked to speak.

He grasped my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. "Did you have fun fucking that white haired punk, Y/N? ANSWER ME!!!" he roared.   
His fingers were closed painfully around my chin, while he forced me to look at him.   
"You're hurting me, S-Steve..." I said, tears welling up in my eyes.   
He whirled me around and pushed me into his bed and I fell on it, flat on my back.

"Really? I'M hurting you? How do you think I felt when I came to know that you let that lowlife put his hands on you, huh?â€œ he said, pinning my hands down forcefully onto the bed.

"Steve, stop it, please," I whispered, tears streaming down my eyes as I looked up at him.   
Before I knew it, his mouth came crashing down on mine, kissing me roughly.   
It was a violent kiss. His lips forced mine apart, before his tongue ravaged my mouth. I whimpered, trying to break my hands free from his hold, but he didn't let go.   
He kissed me until I felt a metallic taste on my tongue. And when he pulled back, he had a smear of blood on his lips. My blood.   
"I'm sorry, Steve..." I gasped.

"No, no, no. An apology is not enough. I'm gonna teach you a lesson," he said, pulling my shirt over my head.   
He quickly discarded the rest of my clothes before running his eyes over my naked body as I lay beneath him.   
He ran his fingers gently over the bruises on my neck and asked, "Maximoff did this?"   
Suddenly, I felt to ashamed to reply. But he could tell what my silence meant.

"I'll deal with him later," he said, pulling me up into his arms, onto his lap.   
His hand grabbed my hair at the roots and tilted my head back firmly, while he attacked my exposed neck. Licking and biting and sucking at my already sensitive flesh, he worked his way down, to my breasts.   
My fingers went to his hair, just as he took my nipple into his mouth.   
"Oh, Steve....I'm so sorry..." I moaned, grasping at his hair, pulling him closer to me.   
He groaned into my skin, burying his face into the valley of my breasts.   
I could feel his growing bulge through his jeans and I rolled my hips against it, my body acting entirely on instinct.   
He turned his attention to my other breast, sucking the nipple into a hardened, tingling peak.

His hand released my hair, ghosting down my body, until it crept between my legs.   
"So wet..." he whispered against my breast, two fingers stroking my soaked folds.   
I reached down between my legs, cupping his hand, guiding his fingers into my aching wetness.   
"I missed you so much, Steve..." I moaned, burying my face into his neck, inhaling his scent.

He added another finger into me, causing a gush of moisture to run from my core, lubricating his fingers.   
I pressed my breasts against his chest, wrapping my arms around him as I rode his hand.   
Just as my breath began to hitch, signalling my impending climax, Steve stopped.

Pulling his fingers from me, he brought them to his mouth. Once he had finished licking them clean, he said, "I've missed this."

He lay me back onto the bed, before pulling away to undress himself.   
"Turn over," he said, undoing his belt. I immediately took my position, lying onto my stomach, waiting.   
He crawled up the length of my body, placing open mouthed kisses along my spine, all over my bare back.   
With a careful hand, he swept my hair over my shoulder, before leaning in to kiss me. I turned my head to kiss him, grinding my ass into his erection.   
"Raise your hips," he said, grasping my hips and helping me raise them higher as I got on my knees and elbows.   
Once I was in position, he wrapped and arm around my waist before plunging into me completely in one fluid stroke.   
We both cried out in unison as we became one.

He didn't bother with a slow build. His thrust were deep and quick.   
He groaned into my ear with each thrust, keeping his arm firm around my waist.

I arched back against him, my hands gripping the sheets. My climax was approaching, but I wanted to hold back. I wanted to come with him.

"You belong to me, Y/N. Say it. Say it..." Steve groaned into my ear, his hand kneading my breast.

"I belong to you, Steve. I'm yours. I'm all yours..." I moaned. I turned my head and kissed him with everything I had.

His thrusts began to become erratic and I could tell that he was close. His other hand went down between my legs and began to stroke my clit vigorously, in time with his thrusts.

"Steve...I'm so close... " I moaned.

"Come with me, Y/N..." he whispered into my ear.   
I cried out and Steve groaned in relief as we both reached our peak. He kept thrusting, trying to prolong the pleasure for both of us.   
When we both collapsed, he rolled over onto my side and pulled me into his arms, kissing me again and again.   
"Did I hurt you?" he asked, running his thumb along my lower lip, where he had bitten me.   
I shook my head.   
"I'm sorry about everything, Steve. I really didn't know what I was thinking," I said, brushing my lips against his.

"I was shattered, Y/N. I couldn't bear to imagine anyone else touching you. I can share you with Bucky. But no one else. You're my best girl," he said, smoothing my hair away from my face.

"I'm really sorry, Steve. What can I do to make it up to you?" I asked.

His hand slowly crept down between my legs and he began to stroke me gently.   
"I can think of a few ways..." he said, grinning deviously before leaning in to kiss me.


	22. Home

I leaned in and kissed him slowly, my hands cradling his face, stroking his cheek.  
"I'm all yours, Steve. For as long as you want..." I said, nuzzling his nose with mine.

And then he smiled.

It was one of those dazzling, beautiful smiles. The ones that made you feel as if the sun had come out through the clouds, brightening the world. And there was pure innocence and love in his crystal blue eyes. For that moment, no one else existed in my world, except Steve.

"What?" he asked, laughter coloring his voice. He'd caught me staring.  
I just shook my head and sat up, trying to get out of bed.

His hand caught my wrist.  
"Y/N. What happened?" he asked, all traces of amusement gone from his voice, concern replacing it.

Tears began to well into my eyes once more. What had I done?  
This beautiful, incredible man here wanted me and I'd thrown it all away just for a night with Pietro?  
What was I thinking? I had betrayed Steve.  
Yes, it had been overwhelming. The alcohol. The whole blindfolding thing. The thrill of the mystery. Bucky shouldn't have done this. But he and Pietro weren't alone to blame.

I should have resisted. I should have said no.

"I'm sorry, Steve. I betrayed you. I broke your trust in me. You deserve someone better than me. A woman who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. Forgive me..." I whispered, feeling a tear run down my cheek.

"Hey," he said, hooking his finger under my chin to make me look at him.  
"I'm not going to let you go, Y/N. I refuse to lose you. I've lost quite a lot already. When I woke up in this new, strange world, I never thought I'd be able to find someone who I can call my own. Then I met you, Y/N. And it was like I had found a home..." he said, cupping my face in his warm, gentle hands.

"You are my home, Y/N. And I am never letting you go. You might think that I'm being selfish but-"  
I never let him finish his sentence, silencing him with my lips.

We kissed like we were going to die without each other.

Perhaps we were.

"Shut up, shut up. You are not being selfish, Steve Rogers. I promise that I will be with you. Always..." I whispered against his lips, tears of joy running down my cheeks.  
His lips ghosted over my cheeks, kissing my tears away and then he pulled me into his arms, laying me down on his bed.

This time, it was so different. It wasn't rough and savage like it had been a while ago. This time he was slow and gentle yet passionate...

I ran my hands across his back, trying to pull him closer to me. His thrusts were full and deep, slowly building up the pleasure.  
He buried his face into my neck and he whispered my name into my skin.  
At last, when we came apart together, he held me tight against him.

We lay next to each other, saying nothing, our gazes locked, trying to regain our breaths, when FRIDAY's voice interrupted us.  
"Captain Rogers, Mr. Barnes requests entry into your quarters."

Without breaking eye contact with me, Steve gently stroked my cheek before replying in a calm voice.

"Tell him I'm busy. I don't want to see him..."


	23. His Heart

"Steve, you have to see him. He is your best friend..." I whispered, tracing aimless patterns across his chest with my fingers.  
"I don't want to see him, Y/N. At least not for awhile. Just let me deal with him at my own pace", he said in a quiet yet firm voice, which told me that it was the end of this discussion. I wasn't going to be able to persuade him.

And that's how Steve was. His initial reaction had been violent, for sure. But I could see that he was calming down, somewhat. He always kept a cool head.  
He had always been sensible and reasonable one between Bucky, him and me. He always kept Bucky and me in check.  
I placed my hand on his chest, right over his heart, feeling the strong, steady pulse against my palm. Steve's heartbeat was just like him, radiating strength and stability. It grounded me. Made me feel safe. And like someone had once said, safe was in short supply these days.

"What are you thinking?" Steve asked, pulling me out of my trance. I looked up into his eyes, those beautiful blue eyes and smiled.  
"I love you", I said, simply because in that moment, I couldn't think of anything else.  
He gave me a smile and I watched as the corners of his eyes crinkled.  
Every time he smiled at me, my heart beat a little faster.

I cupped his cheek and kissed him deeply, until we both became breathless. "I want you..." I moaned, kissing along his jawline while I slipped my leg over his hip.

I pushed him onto his back and crawled on top of him. He could have overpowered me at any moment, but the glint in his eyes told me what he wanted to see where this was going.  
Leaning down to kiss him once more, I began to roll my hips against his.  
His hands found my hips and he pulled me closer. "C'mere..."

I pulled away from his lips reluctantly when I lost my breath, but I was pleased to see that he was panting too.  
Kissing along his jaw, I bit into the curve of his neck. Just enough to leave a mark.  
His fingers clutched at my hair as I licked and sucked at the mark, making sure that a bruise was forming. The bruise was going to heal in no time, but I still wanted to mark him as mine.

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I felt his hardening manhood twitch against my inner thigh, demanding attention.  
Reaching down between his legs, I grasped his shaft firmly, eliciting moan from him.

"Y/N..."

As I kissed my way down his body, I stroked his shaft, watching the way his hips bucked into my fist. Pumping at his throbbing manhood, I noticed the first few drops of precum forming at the tip.  
Without warning, I ran my tongue along the tip, before taking him into my mouth.  
His fingers tightened in my hair and he let out a moan.  
Taking as much of him as I could into my mouth, I stroked the rest of him with my hand.  
While I pleasured him, I looked up at Steve. His eyes were closed and his lips parted, an expression of pleasure on his face.  
His breaths were coming out in gasps, his hips bucking up slowly, in time with my mouth.  
As much as I wanted him to finish himself in my mouth, the ache between my legs was growing.  
Releasing him from my mouth, I licked along his length once before sitting up. Steve was lying there, panting, watching me silently as I grasped his length and aligned him with me entrance.  
His hands stayed on my hips, supporting me as I sank down on him, taking him in completely.  
"Oh, God... Steve..." I moaned, feeling the initial stretch of him filling me up entirely. Ever so slowly, I began to move my hips, rising and falling, my hands resting on his chest.  
Steve guided me, holding my hips firmly, allowing me to set the rhythm. His hips bucked up against mine and he hit a spot in me that had me seeing stars.  
Once I became sure of my movements, I began to quicken the pace.  
His hands cupped and kneaded my breasts and I threw my head back in ecstasy.  
"I'm so close, Steve...." I moaned and I could feel my hips faltering.  
He grasped my hips and thrust up into me, quick and deep.  
I arched my back and let out a loud moan, finally slipping off the edge, into oblivion.  
Steve followed me immediately.

I collapsed against his chest and we lay there for a while, basking in the afterglow. He ran his fingers lazily through my hair, while I listened to his heart thundering away in his chest.  
Completely and utterly exhausted, I began to drift off to sleep.  
The last thing I remembered was Steve's voice.  
"I love you more, Y/N..."


	24. Go To Him

It had been a few weeks since Steve had fought with Bucky. There was a palpable tension within the team. Steve was not on talking terms with Pietro and Natasha had specially instructed Wanda to keep her brother away from Steve.

As for Bucky, he remained confined to his living quarters. I remained cut off from Bucky out of fear of provoking Steve and he did not contact me either. Not since the day Steve had hit him. Whenever he went on a mission with Steve, the team would have to be extra careful so as not to provoke either of the super soldiers, lest they break into a fight and neglect the mission.  
Fortunately, there had been no untoward incidents during any of the missions so far, but the tension within the team was taking its toll on everyone. Everything felt wrong. And it was my fault. The Avengers seemed less and less like a family with each passing day.

As a result of all of this, I began to spend my nights working in Tony and Bruce's lab, where I stayed well into the early hours of the day. Steve and I had not been intimate with each other in a while too. And the late nights I spent working, coupled with the strain the missions put on Steve weren't helping our relationship.  
But the real problem was very simple and very complicated at the same time: we missed Bucky.

I missed Bucky but I wouldn't mention it to Steve out of guilt.

Steve missed Bucky and he would not tell me out of fear of hurting me.

The three of us completed each other in a way that I could not explain in words.  
Steve was the stability that I needed in my life. While Bucky was his exact opposite. He was like a drug I had become addicted to. And each time I was with him, the high it gave me was greater than ever before.  
Bucky was the thrill and the insanity that I craved. He and I knew everything there was to know about the other's dark side. His nightmares, his past. My insecurities, my fears. We had shared it all with each other. And with him gone, I felt like there was a void in my life. A void that could never be filled.

I was sitting at my desk in the lab, making notes and analyzing data entries related to Bruce's latest experiments. Rubbing my eyes, took out my cell phone to see what the time was.

3:46 am

I was slightly startled, because I had not stayed up this late the past few days. Deciding to take a break, I set my pen down and began to scroll absentmindedly through the photographs on my phone. I came across a photo of Bucky with Nathaniel, Clint's youngest child.  
Bucky was holding the Nathaniel in his lap, while the baby seemed fascinated by Bucky's metal arm.  
Bucky had always had an aversion to his bionic arm, but in this photograph, he was smiling. He was smiling widely as Nathaniel touched his metal fingers with his small hands. Bucky's hair was falling into his eyes, his lips turned up in a glorious smile that radiated pure happiness. Even the corners of his eyes were crinkled.

Staring at the photograph, I felt my own vision begin to blur as my eyes filled with tears.  
I missed him. So much.

"Go to him", came Steve's voice. I looked up, startled, to see Steve standing behind me. He had come to check on me, like he always did each time I worked late in the lab.

"S-Steve...I..." I began.

"You miss him, Y/N. I can see that..." Steve said, kneeling down in front of my chair, taking my hands in his.  
"He makes you happy, in ways that I never will be able to, Y/N. I miss him too. I miss us. The three of us. The way we used to be", he said giving my hands a gentle squeeze.

"I want things to go back to how they were, Steve. I love you. And I love him too..." I whispered, tears now flowing freely from my eyes.

"I know. I love that jerk too", Steve said, causing me to chuckle through my tears.

He cradled my face in his hands, wiping my tears away with his thumbs. "Go to him, Y/N. He needs us. Just like we need him..."  
I nodded, looking into Steve's eyes where I could see that he meant it.  
"Come with me. We'll go together", I said, grabbing his hand.

"No, Y/N. He needs you more now. You go", he said.

"But..."

"Go, Y/N. He needs YOU. Go..."

I turned on my heel and ran to the elevator.

"FRIDAY, take me to Bucky's floor, please", I said.

I waited anxiously as the elevator reached Bucky's floor. Running over to his door, I stood there for a few seconds. Thinking.

What was I going to say? Apologize? How was he going to react?

Just knock, Y/N. My calm inner voice told me.

You love him.

Taking a deep breath, I raised my hand and knocked.

"Bucky? Its me!"


	25. I Missed You...

"Bucky, please open the door!"

I heard his soft footsteps approaching and then the lock clicked open as he opened the door.

I took one look at him and I knew that I had made a huge mistake leaving him alone. His eyes were bloodshot and he had bruise like dark shadows under his eyes. From lack of sleep. Had his nightmares been keeping him awake?   
He looked weak and tired, two adjectives I'd never thought I'd use when it came to describing Bucky. His cheeks were hollowed out, giving him a gaunt and almost a demented look. This man looked nothing like the Bucky Barnes I knew. He was a shadow of the man I had fallen in love with.

"Oh, James..." I breathed.

He looked at me with a defeated look in his eyes.

"You left me, Y/N. I didn't know what to do..."

The way he said it, his voice barely above a whisper, wrenched at my heart.

"I'm sorry", I whispered, taking a step forward, towards him.   
As I stepped forward, he backed away from me, sitting down on his bed with his back turned toward me.   
"You know, Y/N, I thought we were in this together. You and I. You had made me a promise that you'd never leave me. No matter what", he said, in the same defeated voice.   
It felt strange that he was using my name to address me. He always used to call me "doll", his nickname for me. He only used my name in three situations. When he was angry with me, when he was upset with me and when he was telling me that he loved me.   
He was really hurt. And his body language showed it: shoulders slumped, head bowed.

Hurrying over to him, I kneeled down to the floor in front of him. As I made to reach out to take his hands in mine, he drew back. Like he was repulsed by my touch.   
"Bucky, please. Listen to me..."

"Listen to what, Y/N??? You LEFT me! Why did you do that? Why didn't you try to reach out to me??? Why didn't you just talk to me? You just left without any explanation!!!" he said, his voice rising into a shout.

"I wanted to talk to you, Bucky. But I was afraid that Steve would-"

"You were afraid that Steve would what, Y/N? Get angry with you??? Steve is the only one who matters to you in this relationship, isn't it? I just don't count. Is that it??? Tell me!!!" he roared, anger flashing in his blue eyes.

"Its not like that! You matter, Bucky! I'm not complete without you! I love you!" I screamed at him, tears welling up in my eyes.

Suddenly, he reached out and cradled my face in his hands, pressing his forehead against mine.   
"I was lost without you, Y/N. I was going back to who I was before you found me. I was so lost without you..." he breathed, his lips inches away from mine.

"I'm really sorry, Bucky. I should never have left. I missed you. So much. So much..." I whispered, tears running down my cheeks.

His lips came crashing down on mine, gentle and rough at the same time. My body immediately came to life, the moment his lips touched mine, sending a rush of lightning through me. Grasping at the front of his shirt, I pulled him closer. We kissed, broke apart and kissed again.   
"Don't leave me again, Y/N. I won't be able to bear it..." he gasped, pressing his forehead to mine.

"I won't... I won't... I won't..." I whispered against his lips between kisses.

Frantically, I pulled his shirt off over his head, tossing it aside. My instincts took over completely, my body overruling my mind and I pressed kisses along his neck, over his chest, breathing "I'm sorry" between each kiss.

He cupped my cheek and pulled me into another hungry kiss, our tongues dancing together wildly, sending a shiver down my spine. His fingers worked deftly, undoing my hair from the bun I had tied it in, sending them tumbling down my back, flowing freely.   
"I always like it when you wear your hair down, doll..." he grinned wolfishly at me. I smiled at the return of my nickname.   
He ran his metal fingers through the length of my hair, pulling me into another kiss which stole my breath away.   
"Make love to me, James..." I gasped when I surfaced from the kiss.

"I thought you'd never ask, doll..."


	26. Reunion (Part 1)

Discarding each others clothes hastily, not caring where they landed, we fell to the bed in a tangle of limbs, him on top of me. He caught my lips with his in a lusty, open mouthed kiss. I felt his bionic fingers against my scalp as he gripped my hair, tilting my head back, deepening the kiss. He was kissing me with the passion of all the nights we hadn't been together. I could feel that familiar warmth pooling between my thighs, causing me to roll my hips into his.  
"Bucky...please..." I moaned, as his lips descended to my neck.  
"Not yet, doll. Not yet", he murmured darkly against my flushed skin. I ran my hands over the vast, well muscled expanse of his back, feeling each scar beneath my fingertips as he kissed a fiery path down my trembling body.  
His hands caressed my thighs, parting them, while he nestled his head between them.  
My eyes closed as I felt his warm, moist tongue lick along my inner thigh, his hands keeping my thighs well spread.  
And when his mouth finally, finally found my soaked nether lips, my head fell back against the pillows.  
His tongue parted my folds and found my aching bundle of nerves with ease. He knew my body like the back of his hand.

"God, Bucky..." I moaned, carding my fingers through his long, chocolate colored hair. In response, he buried his face deeper between my thighs. Two of his bionic fingers slipped effortlessly into me, while he circled and stroked my throbbing nub with his tongue.  
A moan rose from deep within my throat, bubbling forth from my lips as he fucked me with his fingers. My moist inner walls hugged around his fingers as he plunged them into me, creating a delicious wet sound with each plunge.

My skin was flushed, covered in a sheen of sweat, while my hands tried to find purchase, gripping the sheets, grasping at his hair, finally settling on my breasts, which were aching for attention.  
I cupped my breasts in my palms, kneading the tender flesh, plucking and stroking at my nipples all the while as Bucky continued his ministrations between my quivering legs.

His hands abandoned their grip on my thighs and travelled up my body to replace my own, cupping my breasts. "K-keep going... Keep going..." I moaned, my one hand gripping the sheets while the other stroked Bucky's hair.  
He lapped away at me, plundering me with his tongue, while his hands stimulated my breasts. The feeling of his hands, metal on one breast and flesh on another was incredible.  
Moaning deliriously, I felt my climax building powerfully, with each lap of his tongue. If he stopped now, I was sure I'd cry. I'd cry or I'd beg. I would even try to hit him if he stopped now.  
"Please... James.... don't stop...." I moaned, my hand in his hair tightening its hold. Fortunately, he didn't stop. He kept going and relentlessly so, until I was soaring off the edge, pure pleasure washing over me.

When I finally surfaced, I was gasping for air, my legs feeling weak. He was still lapping away at me, not letting me go just yet. "Come here..." I mumbled, reaching for him, pulling him to me for a kiss. I could taste myself on his tongue.  
When he pulled away, he pressed his lips to the pulse point on my neck, no doubt feeling my heart racing beneath his lips. His fingers slipped back into my folds and he stroked me languidly.  
"My sweet girl..." he mumbled into my skin. I could only moan softly in response, lazily stroking his chestnut hair.

Yes, I was his.


	27. Reunion (Part 2)

Bucky and I lay next to each other, facing each other. His flesh hand ran slowly along the curve of my waist, making its way to the slight swell of my breasts.  
"I hate to admit this, but I am jealous of Steve", he said quietly, pressing a kiss to my shoulder.  
I was stunned. I had thought that it was Steve who had always been envious of Bucky.  
It was Bucky who got into the army during the World War, while Steve struggled to join, what with his delicate health. Bucky had been the ladies man while Steve was invisible to the girls (before becoming Captain America, of course).  
"You're jealous of Steve? Why?" I asked running my hand along his arm.  
Bucky stroked my cheek, his blue eyes turning soft.

"He found you first, Y/N..."

It was true. Steve and I were together before we even knew that Bucky was still alive. But I had never thought that my earlier relationship with Steve affected him.

"Don't be ridiculous, Bucky. I love you. It doesn't matter if Steve came along first! I love you..." I said, before leaning in to kiss him.  
As we kissed, I took his bionic hand in mine and guided it down my body, between my legs.

"Touch me..." I mumbled against his lips.

I could feel him smile against my lips and he slipped two fingers into me.  
"Yes..." I sighed, closing my eyes.

I buried my face into his neck, moving my hips in tandem with his fingers, trying to soothe that ache within me.  
Just as I was about to reach my peak, he stopped.  
"Bucky...what..."  
He silenced me with his lips and rolled me over onto my back.  
Grasping my legs, he wrapped them around his hips and plunged into me without warning.  
I gasped at the initial stretch, a hot, searing pain going through me.  
It was my favorite kind of pain.  
Bucky had a fierce, almost determined look on his face, as he began to thrust, sweat beading on his forehead.  
Cupping his cheek, I ran my thumb along his bottom lip, watching as his tongue darted out, licking the tip. Pulling him down for a kiss, I wrapped my arms around his neck.  
We kissed hungrily, urgently, using our tongues and teeth. There was an air of desperation in our lovemaking tonight as our bodies fought to become one.

"Breathe, doll..." he groaned, his hips snapping almost brutally into mine. I hadn't realized that I had forgotten to breathe. Pulling in a lungful of air, I opened my eyes to look at him.  
Glorious. That was the only word I could use to describe him at that moment. Every single muscle in his body was taut, straining as he attempted to make this last for both of us. His skin was covered in a sheen of sweat, his hair undone, flopping over his face like a chocolate curtain. He looked beautiful.  
So much so that I was momentarily lost, forgetting to breathe again.

"James....I'm close...." I whimpered, my nails digging into his strong shoulders.  
He leaned in closer, his face hovering inches above mine.  
"Stay with me, doll.... Stay with me...." he panted, his warm breath fanning over my face.  
His hands braced above my head, gripping the headboard, he began to thrust into me. Hard. I cried out, I was right on the edge. His thrusts were going to leave me raw and swollen, come morning.

"Come with me..." he groaned and we followed each other, drowning together in the waves of pure, white hot ecstasy.

He collapsed into my arms and I held him, both of us gasping wildly. I felt him slip out of me as he rolled over to lie beside me.  
"God, I love you, Y/N..." he said, his voice breathless and husky, making my inner walls spasm reflexively.

"I love you too, James."

"I wish I had found you first, Y/N. We could have run away together..." he said, pulling me into his arms.

Before I drifted off to a dreamless sleep, lulled by Bucky's kisses, I found myself thinking that running away with him was not a bad idea at all...


	28. Some Time To Think

It was a beautiful morning, bright and sunny. Bucky, Steve and I were sitting at the dining table in Steve's quarters, eating breakfast.  
Steve had insisted on making pancakes.

Both of them were in a cheerful mood, cracking jokes and reminiscing war stories. Just like old times. Mornings like these were my favorites, just sitting with the both of them and having a leisurely breakfast.

"And Peggy did not even look at Bucky! Poor guy, you were so baffled, huh? You thought that you were turning into me!" Steve said, laughing and poking Bucky in the ribs.

Bucky snorted. "Yeah, it was my biggest fear, turning into this jerk", he said smiling at Steve.

I smiled politely and took a sip of my coffee. Peggy Carter was a sore topic for me. Don't get me wrong. I knew that she was an amazing woman who had founded SHIELD, the very foundation on which the Avengers Initiative was based on.  
But the woman in me was jealous of her. How could I not be? She was an incredible woman and the first woman Steve had truly loved. Even Bucky had admitted that back then, he'd had a soft spot for Peggy. In every phase of our relationship, I would subconsciously compare myself to her. I never told the boys about any of this, it was a secret I had decided to keep to myself.

Sometimes I wondered if Steve truly ever got over her. The way he spoke about her, it was clear that he still worshipped her. He and Bucky went to visit her quite often even now. In fact, they both were going to visit her later this afternoon. It was always uncomfortable for me, when the boys went to see her.

"Earth to Y/N! Earth to Y/N!" Bucky exclaimed, waving his hand in front of my face, bringing me back to the present. "What are you thinking about?" he asked, taking a bite of his pancake.

"Oh, um, nothing, Buck. Actually I have to finish compiling the results of Bruce's experiments. Tony has given me a deadline and the work needs to be finished by tonight", I rambled on, lying over the top of my head, trying to sound as convincing as possible.  
It wasn't entirely a lie, though. I had a deadline, true. But I had finished and submitted my reports to Tony two days ago.  
Bucky and Steve looked at me, looking thoroughly unconvinced. I stood up, drinking up the remaining dregs of my coffee.

"I'll be working the the lab, boys. Say hi to Peggy for me. Just give me a call if you need me, okay? Bye!"  
Grabbing my bag, coat and files, I walked right out, without saying another word.  
I even forgot to kiss them goodbye.

As soon as I stepped into the elevator, instead of asking FRIDAY to take me to the top floor of the tower, where the lab was, I asked to be taken to the ground floor.  
Whipping out my cellphone, I called Tony.  
He answered on the second ring.  
"Hey, Y/N!"

"Hi, Tony. I was calling to ask, did you receive the reports regarding Bruce's experiments?"

"Yep, got them, sweetheart. So good of you to finish them and send them over that quick!" he said, sounding genuinely pleased.

"I'm glad, Tony. Listen, I wanted to ask you something. Could I take the day off today? I'm not feeling very well..."

"Yeah, sure. Take the day. In fact, take two. You deserve it, after all the hard work you put in with the reports. Just, feel better, okay?" he said.

"Thank you so much, Tony. I'm really grateful. I just....could you do me a favor, please?"

"Anything, Y/N. Tell me."

"If Steve and Bucky ask about me, don't tell them that I've gone home, okay? Please."

"Alright, Y/N...." he trailed off, sounding concerned. "Is everything alright between the three of you?"

"Yeah, Tony. Don't worry. I'm just....tired."

"Go home. Take rest. Feel better. Doctor's orders, Y/N", he said, with mock seriousness. I chuckled.

"Of course, Dr. Stark. See you later!" I said, laughing.

Hanging up, I walked out to hail a cab. Giving the cabbie the address to my home, I sank back into the seat of the cab.  
Even though Tony had (very generously) given me an apartment in the Avengers Tower, I kept my permanent residence, an apartment in Lower East Side. That's where I was headed.

I just needed a little space. Some time to think...


	29. A Day To Myself

It had been a good day. I was enjoying my solitude. One of the first things I had done as soon as I reached home was to switch off my cellphone. I did not want to talk to Bucky or Steve. Tidying up my apartment was next on my list. Cleaning was never a chore for me, I actually found it to be therapeutic.   
After I was done with that, I spent the next few hours in my bed, reading. Being a complete bookworm, I loved immersing myself into my books, letting my mind and my imagination run wild. I preferred reading fiction.   
As the day went on, I began to wonder about Bucky and Steve. They must have returned from their visit to Peggy's, with huge smiles on their faces. Talking to her always made them happy, happier than I had ever seen them. No doubt they'd had a lovely time, recounting stories about their time together.   
It had been a different era altogether and no matter how hard I tried to understand, it just wasn't the same. I wasn't really there with the boys, I knew nothing about life back then.

A series of questions began to run through my mind, one after another. Had Steve and Bucky sought me out after their return? Had they asked Bruce where I was? Had they asked Tony? What had he told them?  
Had they called me? Had they texted me? Should I switch on my cellphone?   
No. I was not going to do that. I needed this time to myself. To think.

Was my jealousy justified? Of course, Steve and Bucky were going to visit Peggy. She was the only thing about their past which had still remained. She was their anchor, in a way. A connection to their old lives. Of course she was going to be a part of their present lives, for the rest of her days and beyond that.   
Peggy Carter was inevitably and unintentionally going to cast a shadow over my relationship with Steve and Bucky. This shadow was going to haunt me forever.

I had never had a relationship before I met Steve, the introverted bookworm that I was. In fact, Steve was the one who had taken my virginity.   
He had made a real effort to make it a special night for the both of us. Dinner at an exclusive, expensive restaurant. A limousine. Champagne flowing endlessly. I was quite tipsy by the time they brought out the dessert. Steve had insisted on taking me home and I didn't refuse. As we stood outside my building, Steve was rubbing the back of his head with his hand. "So I guess this is goodnight, Y/N", he had said, smiling adorably.

It was his smile that did it. It made me realize how much I loved him. Fueled by the alcohol from the dinner, I all but grabbed him by the front of his jacket and pulled him in for a kiss.   
"You showed me a good time, Captain Rogers. However, I'm not willing to let the night end just yet..." I had whispered against his lips. I could so clearly remember how he had groaned in reply. Taking his hand in mine, I dragged him inside. We couldn't keep out hands off each other in the elevator. Old Mrs. Samuels who lived on the floor below mine had entered the elevator on the 3rd floor, and caught Steve and me kissing furiously. Steve's face had turned bright red and Mrs. Samuels had winked at me as she left the elevator when it reached her floor.   
Steve had been a thorough gentleman, asking me again and again if I was sure about this.   
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life, Captain", I had said and his answering grin made my heart stop. We fumbled with each other in the beginning, slowly getting acquainted with each other's bodies. And when he had finally plunged into me, taking my virginity, his lips had kissed my tears away, whispering soothing words into my ear. It had been an incredible night. I had fallen asleep in his arms, completely spent and exhausted from the pleasure.  
The memory of that night brought a smile to my face. I could never forget it.

And then Bucky Barnes came along, like a hurricane. His recovery became Steve's priority. His nightmares had plagued him every night, turning him into a raging insomniac. It was something even Steve couldn't help him with.   
Steve had been out on a week-long mission in Germany and he had left me responsible for Bucky. In his absence, Bucky's nightmares took a turn for the worse. I had resorted to sleeping on the couch in Bucky's bedroom for that week, so that I could watch over him.   
He had woken up, screaming, drenched in cold sweat, his bionic arm smashing a vase that was kept on his bedside table.   
"Make it stop, Y/N. Please. Make it stop..." he had sobbed, burying his face in his hands. I couldn't bear to see him like this, having developed a strong attachment to him over the time we had spent together. And that's when I did the only thing I could think of. I used my body to comfort him. My first time with Bucky had been nothing like it was with Steve.   
After the initial hesitation, Bucky began to let go, opening his emotional floodgates, releasing years of suppressed desire, frustration and passion. Neither of us slept that night, making love until the first rays of the morning sun began to stream into the bedroom.   
"Don't leave me, Y/N. Please...." he had whispered against my neck, his arms holding me close. Like I was his last chance at sanity. "I won't..." I had promised.

And here I was today, sitting in my apartment, avoiding their calls. I needed some time to think. But I could not think of anything else, except Steve and Bucky. They had dominated my thoughts from the moment they had stepped into my life.

It was evening now and all the cleaning and thinking and remembering had left me quite tired. I ate a quick dinner and then drew myself a warm bath, immersing myself in it for a good hour.   
The heat from the water relaxed every single muscle in my body, making me sigh in relief. For the first time in the day, I was completely relaxed, my mind at peace.   
Stepping out of the bath, I dried myself quickly and slipped on a night gown. It was one of my favorites, all black lace and satin, reaching just above my knees. I pulled my hair free from its bun, letting it fall freely down my back.  
And then finally, finally I crawled into bed, pulling the covers over me. Just as I was about to reach for the switch to turn off my bedside lamp, I heard a sharp knock at my door.


	30. The Argument

Groaning, I got out of bed, walking through my living room, to the entrance to my apartment. When I opened the door, I found Bucky and Steve standing on the other side.   
And, boy, did they look annoyed.

"Hey, guys..." I began.

"So this is where you've been hiding", Bucky said, sounding thoroughly pissed.

"Hiding? This is my HOME, Bucky", I said, defensively. "Would you like to come in?" I added, sarcastically.

Neither of them made a move to enter, standing like two angry statues in my doorway. Fine.

"Why did you have to switch off your phone, Y/N? Do you know that Bucky and I have been calling you non stop, ever since we got back from Peggy's?" Steve said. I could tell that he was angry as well, but he was trying hard not to show it.

"Of course you did. Tell me, did you have a good time hanging out with Peggy? Chatting about the good old days over a cup of tea?" I replied, my voice sharp and clear.

Steve stared at me, wide eyed.   
"What nonsense are you talking about?" he said, anger trickling into his tone.

I placed my hands on my hips.   
"Its not nonsense, Steven. How do you think it makes me feel, every time you and Bucky go to see her? You both are the most important people in my life, but I can see that its not the same for you. Whenever you both want a good fuck, you come to me. That's all! Otherwise you run off to meet Peggy every chance you can get!" I all but screamed at them.

If Steve was trying to hide his anger now, he was failing miserably. He stood there, fists clenched, looking like he was going to slap me any second.

"What's gotten into you?" Bucky said, rage blazing in his blue eyes. "Have you fucking lost your mind???" he yelled.

"YES! Maybe I have!" I screamed back, before turning on my heel and walking straight to my bedroom.

I knew I had gone too far. But I had to tell them how I felt. Peggy Carter's shadow was looming over our relationship. It was slicing away at my wits, driving me mad with jealousy.

I sat down on my bed, burying my face in my hands, finally letting my tears flow freely.

It wasn't fair. I loved them both so much. So much. More than my own life. I had given my all to them. I just couldn't tolerate it any longer. Peggy's presence in their lives made me question my own position in their lives. Bucky and Steve were always going to be my first priority. But was I THEIR first priority?

Sobs wracked my body, forcing tears from my eyes, which trickled through my fingers, dripping onto the sheets. Only Steve and Bucky could turn me into a hysterical mess like this.

I felt a hand on my back.   
"Don't TOUCH me", I hissed, moving away from the touch.

"Y/N, please..." Steve said, quietly. Patiently.

"Get. Out." I said, bitterly. "Both of you."

Bucky's metal fingers wrapped around my wrist, wrenching my hand away from my face. "No. Not until we sort this out", he said aggressively, his face level with mine.

"Get away from me!" I said, my voice high pitched. I pushed roughly against his chest. He didn't budge.

I stood up and tried to leave the room, when Steve caught my wrist and whirled me around to face him.

"Leave m-"

His mouth came crashing down on mine, one arm wrapped around my waist, the other hand in my hair. I tried to push him away, shoving at his chest. He didn't move. If anything, he pulled me closer, kissing me more insistently. He coaxed my lips open, slanting his mouth over mine, tilting my head back as his fingers gripped at the roots of my hair.   
He kissed me until my struggles ceased and I melted into his embrace, kissing him back. When he finally pulled away, I was out of breath.

"My sweet, Y/N. How can you be so silly? You are my best girl. You. Only you..." Steve hummed quietly, pressing his forehead against mine.

I felt Bucky's metal fingers sweep my hair away from my shoulder, exposing my neck.   
"Our best girl..." he murmured, softly kissing along the curve of my neck.


	31. Touch And Tease

That's how it always had been for them. A few sweet words, a few kisses and I would give in and let them have their way.

But not this time.

Bucky turned me around to face him and just as he moved in to kiss me, I turned my face away and stepped away from the both of them.

"What the-" Bucky began.

"Not so fast, James. What's the rush? You said you weren't going to let me go until we sorted out everything, right?", I said and sauntered over to the couch in the corner of the room, sitting down on it.

"Let's sort it out, shall we?" I smirked, gesturing toward the bed. "And since you both are so eager for sex, I want you to fuck each other for a change."

"What?" Steve looked at me. To say that our righteous Captain America was shocked would be the understatement of the century.

"You heard me, boys. Fuck. Each. Other. I'll sit here and watch..." I said, leaning back against the couch, shifting slightly into a more comfortable position.

Bucky was all but glaring at me. "Come here, Y/N. Come here right now!" he thundered and I swear I could see a vein throbbing in his forehead.

I laughed lightly. "Come right here or what? You'll bash my head in with your metal arm? Really, Buck? You're that desperate? I had always thought that you soldiers had an exceedingly high self control..." I said, smiling sweetly at him.

"Y/N. Come on. Don't be like that. We want you. You're our best girl, remember?" Steve said, his voice patient and soothing. Like he was talking to a five year old child. He held out his hand to me, hoping that I would take it.

I didn't. Instead, I slowly lowered the straps of my night gown, down my shoulders, keeping eye contact with Steve, revealing just the tops of my breasts.

"I don't want to come there, Captain. And you and Bucky will not fuck each other. I have a compromise for this situation..." I said, bending forwards ever so slightly as I spoke, so that they could get a view of my breasts.

I heard Bucky groan deep in his chest and I knew I had him.   
"Wha- What do you want, Y/N?" Steve asked, trying to sound calm and composed. But his little stutter gave it away.

"I want you both on your knees. You will not come any closer. And you will watch. You will watch me as I touch myself. And you will not touch me. Got it?" I said, pulling the hem of my night gown ever so slightly up my thighs.

They both exchanged a look before they sank to their knees, silently. Simultaneously.

Ha!

"Such good boys..." I cooed, slowly pulling the nightgown up, over my head and tossing it aside. I wasn't wearing panties underneath.

Bucky's eyes were running all over my body and his tongue darted out, making a slow pass over his bottom lip. Steve swallowed thickly.

"What?" I asked, tossing my hair over my shoulder, before caressing the swell of my breast. "You don't think I'm beautiful?"

"Y-you are..." Bucky began.

"So beautiful..." Steve breathed out.

I smiled at them before lying down on the couch on my back. Looking at the two of them, kneeling there in front of me, it was an incredible feeling.   
Running my hands along my body, I let my hands go to my breasts and began to massage them. Tenderly. Lovingly.   
At that very moment, I forgot that I wasn't alone in the room. All thoughts drained away and I closed my eyes, tipping my head back into the pillow under my head. Relishing the way my nipples began to harden with each pluck and caress of my fingers, I allowed a soft moan to pass through my parted lips.

I head a loud groan from my side, causing my eyes to open.   
"Fuck, Y/N..." Bucky groaned, a considerable bulge growing in this pants.   
"Y/N, please..." Steve whispered in a strained voice and I could see his pants had grown tight for the 'Little Cap' between his legs.   
As Bucky reached to fumble with his belt, I spoke sharply.

"When did I say that you two could touch yourselves? Keep your hands at your sides, soldiers. And while you're at it, keep your pretty mouths shut. I don't want to hear a sound. One peep from those lips and I stop, is that understood?"

Bucky's hands stilled and he looked at me, his eyes burning into mine. Steve's face was a mixture of surprise and intense arousal. He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, ma'am..." he gasped out.

"Good", I said, before leaning back, resuming the fondling of my breasts. Lust clouded my mind and I raised my knees, spreading my legs apart. The smell of my arousal hit me hard and I knew, if I could smell it, Steve and Bucky could too.  
Instinct was ruling over logic and sense now and I was losing myself.

Keeping one hand on my breasts, I let the other creep down my body, letting it slip between my thighs. My back arched against its own volition, while my fingers languidly slipped into my folds, gathering the slick moisture that had pooled there.

"I'm so wet..." I moaned, turning sideways to look at Steve and Bucky. Both were breathing deeply, their blue eyes darkened with desire, pupils dilated.   
If I could touch their chests now, I was sure I'd feel their hearts hammering away madly.   
Bucky made a sudden move to reach me, but Steve stopped him with a look.   
I closed my eyes, taking in a deep, shuddering breath and slipped two fingers in me.   
A moan burst through my throat and my other hand closed around my breast.   
I began to move my fingers back and forth, stroking my inner walls, which clenched and hugged at my probing digits.   
"Fuck..." I moaned, running my free hand through my hair, feeling my damp locks slipping through my fingers.   
Raising my hips in time with my thrusting fingers, I threw my head back, feeling a sudden gush of moisture coming from my swollen nether lips.

Bucky and Steve inhaled sharply as a fresh wave of the scent of my arousal washed over them.   
I sped up my ministrations, unable to hold back any longer, my fingers making a delicious wet sound that was equal parts beautiful and obscene.

I could feel a flush rising in my cheeks, as each stroke of my fingers brought me closer to the edge. Steve and Bucky were panting now. Like two dogs in heat. That thought caused a breathless laugh to burst through my lips. The laugh ended in a moan, however, as I guided my other hand to my throbbing clitoris, which was begging for attention.

A few strokes to my swollen bundle of nerves and I was flying. I cried out as wave after wave of ecstasy washed over me, making me drown in pleasure. I kept up the steady stroking of my fingers, thrusting them in and out of me as I rode out my climax.

Finally, when I surfaced, I opened my eyes and looked at the two of them. They were staring at me wide eyes, with an expression of desire and awe.   
"What?" I whispered weakly, smoothing my damp hair away from my forehead.

"That was fucking amazing, doll. Amazing..." Bucky breathed out.   
Steve reached out and kissed me deeply and then Bucky did the same.

When Bucky and I finally broke apart, Steve said, "Bring her to bed, Buck. Its time we showed her how incredible she is..."


	32. So Good

Bucky pulled me up into his arms effortlessly and I buried my face into the curve of his neck as he carried me to the bed.

He lay me down on my back and I gasped at the feeling of the cool sheets against my bare back. Crawling up the length of my body, Bucky kissed me. I kissed him back ardently, running my hands over his chest, under his t-shirt. He pulled away from me and stripped off his shirt, before returning to my arms.   
I felt the bed dip slightly as Steve sat down and an idea suddenly struck me. I pulled away from Bucky's lips and whispered into his ear, so that only he could hear me. When I finished speaking, Bucky pulled back and grinned at me.

In one swift motion, befitting his assassin instincts, he caught Steve and pushed him down on his back next to me.   
"Buck-" Steve gasped, but Bucky silenced him with a kiss. I bit my lip, watching them quietly.

Bucky's metal fingers went into Steve's golden hair, tugging his head back, deepening the kiss. He had done the same thing to me so many times before.

Steve kissed Bucky back, giving as much as he was getting, but Bucky subdued him eventually. When they pulled back, Steve's hair was all messed up and he was panting.   
I sat up and crawled over to where Steve lay. Then I helped Bucky in removing Steve's shirt, before leaning in and laying open mouthed kisses on Steve's chest.   
"Fuck..." Steve groaned as Bucky palmed his growing erection through his pants.

"Such a filthy mouth you have, Captain..." I whispered, before biting into his skin, just enough to leave a mark.   
Bucky and I exchanged a glance and he went to work, taking off Steve's pants.   
Once he was completely naked, Bucky began to kiss his way down Steve's body, spreading his legs, so that he could kneel between them.

Meanwhile, I directed my attentions to Steve's nipples, lashing at them with my tongue.

Suddenly, Steve let out a strained moan and I looked down to see Bucky's mouth on Steve's hardened length.   
"Don't go gentle on him, Buck..." I mewled, running my hand through Steve's hair.

Bucky looked up and winked at me, before taking more of Steve's length into his mouth.

Steve groaned loudly, throwing his head back, the muscles in his neck growing taut. His hand went into Bucky's hair, gripping tight.

I ran my fingers through Steve's hair, feeling the sweat that had begun to pool on his forehead. He looked so beautiful, his eyes closed, lips parted and his breath coming out in tiny gasps.   
He wore an expression of pure bliss.

I leaned in and kissed him softly, cradling his face in my hands. Bucky must have given Steve a particularly hard suck because he suddenly moaned into my mouth.

"Its okay... Its okay..." I murmured against his lips, before kissing him again.   
Steve's hand slipped into my hair, grasping firmly at the roots, holding me to him as we kissed.

When I grew out of breath, I pulled away, looking over at Bucky, who's head was bobbing up and down on Steve's cock.

"Stop...Bucky...I'm close..." Steve gasped, giving Bucky's hair a slight tug.   
Bucky raised his head up, his eyes giving me a questioning look and I nodded.   
He released Steve from his mouth with a 'pop' and grinned at me.   
Running his metal fingers through his hair, he asked "How was that for you, Stevie?"

Steve laughed breathlessly before replying.   
"So good..."


	33. We Have To Go

Bucky's arms came around me and he maneuvered me to lie on my back, next to Steve.   
Steve turned to kiss me, gently, lovingly, while Bucky's lips traced their familiar path along my neck.

Steve had once told me that he loved kissing me. And Bucky had a weakness for my neck.

Just as Bucky was starting to caress my breasts, Steve's cellphone rang. He groaned loudly and pulled away from my lips.   
"I'm so sorry, Y/N... Just give me a moment..." he mumbled apologetically, sitting up to grab his phone.

"Come on, Stevie! You've got to answer the phone now?!?!?" Bucky asked incredulously, as Steve left the room to take the call.

Jeez. It wasn't like Steve, to take a call right in the middle of our, ahem, intimate moments.   
Still, I could hear him speaking in a low voice in the other room, while I ran my fingers through Bucky's hair.

"What is it?" I asked, as soon as Steve returned.   
He looked worried.

"It was Tony. Buck and I have been asked to report for an emergency mission, in Africa. The Quinjet will leave in about an hour. I'm so sorry, Y/N", Steve told me and I felt Bucky stiffen up in my arms.

"Jesus, Steve. We have to leave NOW?" Bucky asked, before turning to look at me.  
It was almost as if they were waiting for my permission.

I sighed.   
"Go, you guys. You need to go. The team needs you", I said hurriedly, trying to mask my obvious disappointment. And sexual frustration.

They both looked at me silently for a moment.   
"Go!" I almost screamed.

Bucky kissed me on the forehead, before standing up and starting to put on his shirt.  
"I promise, Y/N, once we get back, we will make it up to you", Steve said, getting dressed as well.

I sat up and pulled the sheets to cover up my exposed breasts.   
"You'd better", I said and Bucky leaned in to kiss me. Steve did the same.

I walked them over to the door, wrapping my sheets around me to cover myself.

"Take care of yourself, you both. And come back to me as soon as you can. I will be waiting..." I said, kissing them both once again.

Once they had left, I closed the door behind me, before letting my tears finally flow freely.   
Every time they left for a mission, I'd cry.   
I would never let them see my tears of course, allowing myself to cry only when I was alone.

I just sat there on the floor, my back against the door, crying silently.   
Eventually, when I thought I had run out of tears, I took deep breaths, trying to regain my composure.   
Dragging myself to my bedroom, I lay down on the bed.   
My bed felt so cold and lonely without the two of them.   
I don't even remember when I fell asleep. I think it was somewhere around the time when I was thinking and worrying about the boys' safety during their mission.


	34. Sounds Like A Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter from third person POV

"Damn it, I miss her. We shouldn't have left her like this, Stevie", Bucky said, looking at his partner.  
"FRIDAY, go on autopilot, please", Steve told the AI.

"Right away, sir", came its calm reply.

Steve turned to Bucky, placing a hand on his shoulder.  
"I know, Buck. I miss her too. But we didn't have a choice. This is an emergency mission. We need to keep our heads clear", Steve told his best friend, trying to keep his thoughts strictly on the mission.

"Yeah, you're right", Bucky nodded, before leaning back into his co-pilot seat.

Steve and Bucky were currently in their two person quinjet. The plane was a smaller sized version of the quinjet that was usually used by the Avengers.

Clint and Widow were right behind Bucky and Steve's plane. Once Steve finished briefing Nat and Clint about the objectives of the mission, he disconnected the comm.  
Leaning back in his chair, like Bucky, he closed his eyes for a moment.

"She's worried about Peggy, Buck. She's worried that Peggy's presence in our lives will affect our relationship with her. I mean, its silly, right? I love Y/N. With all my heart. I don't understand why she's being like this", Steve said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"She's insecure, Stevie. She's young. And she is very perceptive. I know you love her, of course you do. So do I. But Peggy's presence makes her feel like we're still... I don't know. In love with her, I guess?" Bucky said, running his hand through his hair. He missed the way Y/N would run her delicate fingers through his dark hair when he made love to her. The way her fingers clutched at his hair, trying to hold his head between her legs, her hips rising and falling against his mouth.

"Fuck... I can't get her out of my head, Steve..." Bucky groaned longingly.

Steve looked at his best friend sympathetically. He knew exactly what Bucky meant.  
As much as he tried to focus on the task at hand, thoughts about Y/N crept into his mind. Her soft lips against his. Leaving kisses all over his skin. The way she felt in his arms, so fragile, like she was made of glass. The way she moaned his name in pleasure.

Bucky could tell that Steve's silence meant that he was thinking about Y/N. How could he not? She was a beautiful, gentle and sensitive woman who had changed their lives for the better since the day they'd met her. Sometimes he felt like he didn't deserve him. She didn't deserve them.

"She doesn't deserve to feel like this, Buck. After all that she's done for us", Steve said and Bucky gave him a half smile.  
That's how well they both were connected, Steve and Bucky. They could almost read each other's thoughts. Almost like the Maximoff girl.

"Yeah, you're right. Here's my plan: Let's get this stupid mission over with and head back and show Y/N what she means to us", Bucky said, his voice filled with determination.

Steve grinned at him.

"Sounds like a plan, Buck. Sounds like a plan."


	35. Reminisce Our Memories (Steve / Part 1)

It was 8 pm and I was pacing back and forth in the living room area of my apartment. Steve and I had a date tonight and he'd promised to pick me up at 8.

When I had come home from work this afternoon (curiously, Tony had let me go early today), I'd found a dress lying on my bed when I had reached home. There was a note lying next to the dress. It said:

I'll pick you up at 8, beautiful. Wear this.  
\- S

How I had blushed reading that note! The dress itself was beautiful. It was a black and cream confection, with long sleeves with sheer panels, showing the right amount of skin, nothing trashy. The dress had a wide, but not deep neck, which showed off my clavicles perfectly. The back of the dress had a deep 'V' shaped cut, reaching to the middle of my back. The skirts of the dress were frilly and floaty, with the bottom of the dress skimming just above my knees. It was clear that Steve had chosen the dress himself (with some help from Natasha, I'm sure). It was a conservative dress, with just the right amount of skin show. Sexy (definitely) yet classy.

I'd spent the last three hours primping and preening and getting myself ready for the date. It was a big occasion, Steve and I had been dating for the past four months now. We had decided that we were going to take our relationship to the next level.  
And by that, I meant that Steve and I were going to have sex tonight. Jesus. It was an unspoken agreement. I knew that Steve was never going to initiate anything, especially when it came to sex. His overwhelming sense of responsibility and righteousness would hold him back. I'm sure he would feel guilty, almost as if he was pressuring me to have sex with him.

But it wasn't anything like that. The truth was far from it. I wanted him. So bad. This beating around the bush was getting exhausting. And frustrating. Earlier, Steve and i would get back from our date nights and start making out. And just when things would start heating up, he would stop and leave, mumbling something about not wanting to 'pressure me into having sex' with him. God. I'd had enough of this teasing bullshit. If he tried to pull off something like this tonight, I'd hit him. Or pull his hair out.

I drank a glass of wine to steady my nerves a little. I was nervous, definitely. Buzzing with excitement, but nervous. Hello! I was going to lose my virginity (at last) to Captain America tonight!  
I snorted into my glass at how funny that last sentence sounded.

The doorbell rang and I sprang to my feet, my heart starting to beat wildly as I walked over to the door. He was here!!!

Steady, Y/N. Steady.

I took a deep breath and opened the door.  
Oh. My. God.

Steve Rogers was looking absolutely spectacular.

He was wearing a black t shirt that fit him so well, it bordered on obscene. He also had a leather jacket on, also black. And he was wearing a pair of blue jeans that looked like they were made for him. The jeans were hanging a low on his hips. I mean, who knew that Steve Rogers would be into low rise jeans, eh?

"You look incredible, Y/N", he said giving me a dazzling smile.

I just kept staring at him like a total retard.  
He just said something, Y/N. Open your mouth and respond. You can do it.

"Um, what?" I replied brilliantly.

He laughed awkwardly, a slight blush rising in his cheeks, a result of my blatant ogling.

"I said you look incredible", he said, moving a little closer to me.

"Thank you, Steve. You look amazing yourself", I replied, finally mustering a bit of composure.

"Shall we go?" he asked, holding out his hand to me.

"Yeah, just a moment, let me just put my shoes on", I said, gesturing to the pair of nude high heels that were lying in the corner of my living room.

"Allow me", he said and before I knew it, he was striding into my living room, to retrieve the heels.

I looked at him as he walked to the corner where my heels lay, bent over and picked them up, keeping my eyes on his gorgeous butt.  
Yep, those jeans fit him so, SO well. I bit back a groan as he turned around and walked over to me.

"Something wrong?" he asked me, kneeling in front of me.

The only thing wrong is how well those jeans are fitting around your mighty fine ass, Captain, I wanted to say.

"No, nothing", I said, giving him a smile.

He reached out and gently caught my ankle, making me shudder at his touch. Raising my foot just enough, he put the shoe on my foot effortlessly with his other hand. He repeated the same motion on my other foot and I noticed that his hand lingered on my leg for just a moment longer.

When he stood up, I realized that I hadn't breathed the entire time.

" Let's go", he said, offering me his arm.

"Yeah, let's", I breathed out, linking my arm with his.


	36. Reminisce Our Memories (Steve / Part 2)

It was a beautiful night, something out of those old Hollywood films. Steve had rented a limo to take us to the restaurant. The restaurant itself was one of those uber fancy types, where you have to make a reservation weeks in advance if you're hoping to get a spot. If Steve was nervous, he never let it show. The food was delicious, but I could barely eat, out of anxiety. To be honest, I was drinking more than I was eating.  
The waiter kept our glasses filled with champagne and I kept drinking, hoping that the alcohol would cure my nervousness. By the time they brought out the dessert, I was fairly drunk. Not downright wasted, but definitely more than tipsy.

Steve kept a firm hand on my waist as he guided me out of the restaurant and into the waiting limo. I could feel the heat radiating from his palm, warming my skin through the sheer fabric of my dress.  
Once Steve told the driver to take the car to our destination (my place), he settled into his seat.  
We were sitting closely, next to each other, our thighs almost touching.  
I don't know what it was, the alcohol that was chipping away at my inhibitions, or the fact that I really, really wanted to touch him: I placed my hand on his upper thigh.  
In the closed confines of the car, I could hear his sharp intake of breath at my touch. He turned to look at me, his blue eyes two shades darker than usual. I gave him and innocent smile and gave his thigh a slight squeeze. He bit his lip, his eyes burning into mine.  
Smiling, I turned to look outside my window, my hand slowly inching along his inner thigh now, tracing aimless patterns.  
Just as I was about to bring my hand to its destination, the car stopped and the driver announced that we had reached our destination. Damn it.

In complete silence, Steve and I got out of the car and I waited near the entrance to my building while Steve tipped the driver.  
When he returned, we both did not speak for a moment, simply looking at each other. Then he spoke, rubbing the back of his neck, a little awkwardly.  
"So I guess this is goodnight, Y/N", he said, giving me one of his signature smiles.  
Something came over me, when he smiled like that. I wanted him. I wanted him so badly, I realized. I loved him, so much that it made my heart ache with longing. The alcohol buzzing in my system did nothing to soothe that ache, but it had removed all my inhibitions.  
Grasping at the front of his shirt with both hands, I pulled him to me, bringing my lips to his. As always, he was hesitant, initially, but my lips coaxed his apart and he began to respond. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he pulled me against him, moaning against my lips. It was a deep, passionate kiss and when he pulled away, I was almost dizzy.  
" You showed me a good time, Captain Rogers. However, I'm not willing to let the night end just yet", I whispered against his lips. He groaned in reply and the sound proved that he wanted me just as much as I wanted him.  
Grabbing his hand, I pulled him with me, into my building, practically dragging him. He jabbed furiously at the elevator button, almost willing it to come to the ground floor. Immediately.  
I liked seeing him getting impatient. It was so uncharacteristic of him.

With a 'ding' the elevator door opened and we went inside. Blissfully, the elevator was empty. Roughly pushing the 4th floor button, he pulled me into his arms and brought his lips down on mine. We didn't even wait for the elevator door to close!  
His hand was in my hair, tugging my head back slightly, his mouth slanting over mine, his tongue ravaging my mouth. My arms were wrapped around his neck, my body pressed against his.

We weren't even aware when the door opened, but the quiet sound of a throat being cleared caused us to break apart. Mrs. Samuels was looking at us, an amused smile plastered on her face. Perfect timing she had. Steve let go of me, reluctantly, his face turning beet red. When she reached her wretched floor, she looked at me and winked, before leaving the elevator.  
The next floor was mine and Steve caught my hand once more, pulling me along as we left the elevator.  
He made quick work of the lock, opening the door, ushering me inside, before shutting it and locking it again. Before I could blink, Steve had me pinned against the door, kissing me wildly. "Steve..." I moaned, before his lips caught mine again. I helped him shrug off his jacket, letting it fall to the floor, while he kissed along my neck.  
Bringing his face to mine, he looked into my eyes. One of his hands was on the zipper on the back of my dress.  
"Are you sure about this, Y/N?" he asked. I nodded. He pulled down the zipper of my dress, his hand lingering on my bare back for a moment.  
"You weren't wearing a bra?" he asked incredulously, pulling the dress down my shoulders, revealing my breasts.  
"Actually the back of the dress was a little low, so..." I said, shrugging off the dress and letting it fall to the floor.  
The cold air made goosebumps rise on my skin... Or was it because of the way Steve was looking at me?  
I don't remember.  
I brought my hands up to cover my breasts, but Steve caught my hands with his.  
"No. Don't hide from me, Y/N..." he said, pulling me into his arms.  
"God, you're so beautiful, Y/N", he whispered into my ear.

"And you're wearing too many clothes..." I said, reaching out to pull his shirt off.  
He chuckled and allowed me to take his shirt off. Now I had seen Steve shirtless many times before, but tonight, he looked spectacular.  
I ran my hands across his broad chest, over his shoulders and down his arms. He was perfect. Just perfect...  
He caught my roaming hands and gently kissed my palms before saying "Let's take this to the bedroom, alright?"  
I nodded and he lifted me into his arms and carried me into my bedroom.  
Placing me down on my bed, he looked at me for a few moments before leaning in to kiss me. It was finally happening. I had waited for this for so long.

His lips began to trace their path along my jawline before reaching my neck.  
"Touch me, Steve..." I moaned, bringing his hands to my breasts which were begging to be touched. He caressed my breasts, kissing his way down my neck, before taking my nipple into his mouth.  
"Steve..." I moaned, my back arching. He sucked and licked at my nipple, fondling my other breast with his warm hand, before switching.  
A gush of warmth pooled in my panties, soaking the scrap of black lace.

He teased me till I grew impatient, before going lower still. Hooking his fingers into the waistband of my panties, he looked up at me, asking for permission. I nodded and he took them off. Before I had a chance to react, he was spreading my legs, laying warm kisses along my inner thighs.  
"You know, I always wanted to do this..." he said, in a deep voice, before bringing his mouth to my lower lips.

I closed my eyes, reveling in the feel of his warm, moist tongue as he explored me for the first time, kissing the most intimate area of my body. It was extremely pleasurable, of course, but it was the first time I had been this intimate with another person.

His tongue stroked my clit gently, while he added a finger into me. I gasped at the intrusion, before I let my body relax, moving my hips in time with his finger. Soft, breathless moans escaped my lips and I whimpered when he added another finger.  
"S-Steve...stop teasing me..." I moaned, tugging gently at his hair.  
He lifted his head up and I could see that his lips were glistening with my juices. He was panting.  
"I need you, Steve..." I all but cried.

He nodded and stood up and I watched as he undressed himself. When he finally freed himself of all articles of clothing, I gasped.  
He was incredibly well endowed. Long and hard and thick, with a tuft of golden hair at the base of his shaft. Was he even going to fit in me?

He crawled up the length of my body, bringing his face level with mine. He kissed me once again. "Are you sure you want this, Y/N? Tell me now, because I won't be able to stop after this..." he whispered against my lips, his voice slightly strained.  
"Take me, Steve..." I murmured.

He braced himself over me with one arm, using his other hand to guide himself to my entrance. Aligning himself, he looked down at me and said "This will hurt a little, Y/N..."  
I nodded.

Ever so slowly, he began to enter me, before pulling back and going in deeper. My breath hitched in my throat once he reached my barrier. He cupped my cheek and leaned in to kiss me and simultaneously plunged fully into me, breaking through my barrier.  
I cried out, and his lips muffled the sound, my nails digging into his biceps. Tears of pain streamed down the corners my eyes as I tried to adjust to him.  
Breaking away from the kiss, I closed me eyes and asked him to move.  
His lips kissed away the tears and he buried his face into my neck, starting to move his hips slowly.

With each roll of his hips, my pain began to fade away and pleasure began to replace it.  
"More, Steve... Harder..." I moaned, wrapping my arms around him, letting the pleasure wash over me.

"You feel...so good...." he whispered against my skin, in a strangled voice and I could tell that he was holding back his peak.

"Let go, Steve..." I whispered, running a hand through his hair.

"No..." He said, defiantly. "I want you to come with me, Y/N..."

He reached down between our connected bodies and found my clit with his fingers once again. My breath caught up in my throat as he began to rub my bundle of nerves, speeding up his thrusts.

"S-Steve... I'm going to..."

"Just let go, Y/N..."

We both came apart together and he spilled his seed inside me. He kept thrusting over and over, trying to prolong the pleasure for both of us.  
When he finally stopped, he collapsed on top of me, breathing hard.

"That was something, Y/N..." He chuckled breathlessly.  
"Yes, it was..." I whispered, stroking his damp hair.

Placing a kiss on top of his head, I whispered "I love you, Steve..."

"I love you too, Y/N..." he said.

Rolling over onto my side, he pulled me into his arms. I placed my head on his shoulder, dimly aware of the dull ache between my legs. I was surely going to be sore tomorrow.  
"What do you think about moving in with me, in the Avengers Tower?" he asked eventually, stroking my hair.

"I'd like that..." I murmured, placing a kiss on his neck. "But let's sleep for now, Captain. You're going to wake me up for round two later..." I said, grinning.

"Yes, ma'am..." he said, laughing quietly.


	37. Reminisce Our Memories (Bucky / Part 1)

"Bucky is alive, Y/N. He's alive!"   
These were the first words out of Steve's mouth, when he had opened his eyes in that hospital in Washington. SHIELD had collapsed, HYDRA had infiltrated their ranks, Nick Fury had been attacked (but he was alive) and Project Insight had been taken over by HYDRA. Alexander Pierce was dead and Steve, Nat, Fury and Sam (a new friend of Steve's) were responsible for bringing down Project Insight, saving billions of lives in the process.

I was inconsolable when I came to know that Steve had been injured and had rushed to Washington. There, I came to know that Steve's old friend, Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, was alive.   
"How is that possible?" I had asked Natasha.   
She had explained to me about the Winter Soldier program. Bucky had been turned into one of HYDRA's most prized weapons, an assassin with deadly precision, one who had never missed his target. They had taken Bucky and turned him into the Winter Soldier through decades of brainwashing and intense training. They had also given him the very same serum that had turned little asthmatic Steve into the mighty Captain America.

The moment Steve was discharged from the hospital (that did not take long), he assigned Sam to chase leads and find out anything and everything he could about Bucky's current whereabouts.

I spent my time in the lab, with Tony and Bruce. I could tell how much Bucky meant to Steve. His single minded determination to locate his best friend had made me take a step back in our relationship. I didn't want to trouble him any further. One day, while I was working late at night, Tony brought me a cup of coffee. And a file.   
"Here you go, kid", he said, handing the documents to me.   
"What is this?" I had asked.

"Steve is going to find Bucky, by any means possible. I'd suggest you start reading up and preparing yourself for what is coming."

I'd spent the night, and many nights after that, reading files and watching footage, trying to find out about what exactly had happened to Bucky. To say that it had been horrifying was putting it mildly.   
Bucky had been put through decades of brainwashing, physical abuse and even sexual abuse. Electroconvulsive therapy sessions where they'd wipe out his memory, preparing him for his next assassination. During the interim period between missions, he was frozen using cryo therapy, which had earned him the moniker of the Winter Soldier. Various heads of HYDRA came, aged and went. But Bucky remained the same. He never aged, physically, especially with the combination of cryo sleep and the serum.

I kept pestering Natasha, almost to the point of harassment, to tell me as much as she knew about Bucky. During those few weeks, the seed known as Bucky Barnes had taken root in my mind. I was obsessing over him as relentlessly as Steve was pursuing him.

And one day, Steve finally found him.

Sam and Steve brought him in, the news spread like wildfire through the ranks of the Avengers. I was asked to conduct his psychological evaluation. Why? Because Steve trusted me the most. And the other psychiatrists in the Avengers facility had flat out refused to be locked in a room, questioning an unstable assassin who could crush their skull with a flick of his (metal) wrist.

To say that I was afraid was an understatement. But more than that, I was curious. Curious to understand the enigma that was Bucky Barnes.   
Under the watchful eye of Steve, Nat, Hill and Clint, I began my sessions with Bucky.

"Buck, this is Y/N. She will be conducting your psychological evaluation", Steve had introduced us, conveniently leaving out the part that I was his girlfriend.   
However, I was engrossed in observing Bucky to take slight.

He looked nothing like the Sergeant James Barnes who's photographs I had seen. This man was gaunt, with bruise-like shadows under his eyes. His chestnut hair was unkempt, long and unwashed. He had a full stubble. Perhaps he had lost weight, during his time on the run, living like a homeless person. His blue eyes did not have life in them. They had a haunted look in them.

During the first few sessions, he was unresponsive, merely grunting and nodding at my questions. Eventually, he began to open up to me and it was a relief for Steve. But our sessions did not go smoothly always. Bucky got violent.

One time, he backhanded me roughly across the face, hitting me so hard that I lost consciousness.  
In another incident, he crushed my right wrist in his metal hand, shattering my carpal bones.

Everyone asked me to discontinue my sessions with him. Even Steve. But over the period of a month, I had developed a sort of a twisted attraction to Bucky. He could hurt me and I liked it. I only wanted to help him.

When I was in the hospital, being treated for the tight slap I had received from Bucky, Steve brought him in to apologize to me. He did as he was asked, apologizing sheepishly, like a 4 year old, who had stuck chewing gum in another kid's hair.

Later, after the second incident, after my wrist had been treated, I got another visit from Bucky. And this time he had come alone. On his own. No one (ahem, Steve) had prompted this visit. And Bucky looked genuinely guilty. In fact, he'd had tears in his eyes. Now that was an improvement.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I really am. I never meant to hurt you. Its just that.... I lose control sometimes..." he had said and all I could concentrate on was how wonderful my name sounded, coming from his lips.

I smiled.

"Its okay, James. Its okay. I'm fine, trust me. I'll be out of here by tomorrow. Don't worry..." I had said, taking his flesh hand in my undamaged hand.

He looked up at me with those teary, pained eyes and I felt my heart squeeze inside my chest. He looked like a lost puppy.

"Oh, James. I'm fine!" I said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

"No, no. Its just that.... Its been a long time since someone has held my hand like this, you know?" he said, giving me a sad smile.

As I looked at him, I felt tears prickling up in my own eyes. Instead of responding with words, I cupped his cheek hesitantly, before placing a kiss on his forehead.   
His entire body went rigid for a moment, before he relaxed. I kissed his forehead again.

When I pulled back, I stroked his cheekbone with my thumb.

"You will get through this, okay? I'll help you. I promise", I said, pushing a lock of hair away from his face.

"Yeah?" he asked, giving me a small smile.

Suddenly, I realized that seeing him smile made my heart beat a little faster. It made me happy. Almost as happy as it did with Steve. And at that moment, I made a vow to myself, that I'd do anything, absolutely anything, to bring the old Bucky back.

"Yeah...." I said, smiling back.

"Thank you, Y/N", he said, leaning into my hand, which was still stroking his cheek.

My name sounded so good, coming from him. A sudden realization dawned on me. I was falling for him.

Oh, dear.

I was so screwed.


	38. Reminisce Our Memories (Bucky / Part 2)

"Do you have to go?" I had asked Steve, making pleading eyes at him for good measure. He was headed for a week long mission to Germany, something that was absolutely unavoidable. He was leaving me in charge of Bucky.   
"I trust you, Y/N. He is opening up to you. You can take care of him..." he sighed, before giving me a kiss and heading into the quinjet.

It had been three days since Steve's departure. It was a rainy night tonight. I was lying down on the couch in Bucky's bedroom, while he slept on the bed. We'd had pizza for dinner, after which I'd made Bucky my favorite Nutella milk shake. It had always helped me sleep and I decided that he should give it a try as well. He seemed to like it. A lot.

Bucky's bedroom had this huge glass window, which took up the entire wall. I looked at the rain drops running down the glass, while cuddling up in my blanket. Looking over at him, I saw that he was sprawled on his back, shirtless, the blankets bunched up around his waist. As far as I could tell, he was sleeping soundly.   
This wasn't going to last long. It was a matter of minutes before his nightmares started, like they always had.

I sighed and closed my eyes, letting myself doze off. The pattering of the rain against the glass was particularly relaxing for me.

But then, he began to scream.

"No... No.... NO!!!"

My eyes shot open. Throwing off the blanket, I sat up and I saw that Bucky was thrashing about on the bed.

"Don't cut my hand... Please.... PLEASE!!!"

His metal hand reached out in the air.

I rushed over to him and began to shake him by the shoulder.   
"Bucky. Wake up. Wake up!" I said.   
His skin felt sweaty and feverish.

Suddenly he opened his eyes and for a moment I thought that he didn't recognize me. Grabbing the vase that lay on this bedside table, he flung it across the room where it hit the wall and shattered.

"James, it me! Look at me!" I said, grabbing his hand. He looked at me for a second, a wild, crazed look in his eyes. And then his face crumpled.   
Burying his face into his hands, he started to cry.   
It was a heartbreaking sight, seeing this strong, powerful alpha male so vulnerable.

"They were cutting off my hand, Y/N..." he sobbed.

"I know, Buck. I know. But it isn't real. You're safe..." I said, placing a kiss at the top of his head.

He looked up at me, his eyes wet with tears.

"Make it stop, Y/N. Please. Make it stop..." he whispered brokenly.

"Oh, James..." I said, cradling his face in my hands. I kissed his cheek, my lips lingering for a moment, tasting the salt of his tears, before I kissed his other cheek. I kissed his forehead, smoothing his damp hair away.   
I repeated the same circuit a few times, laying kisses on his cheeks and forehead, whispering assurances, telling him that he was safe, it was just a dream. I could hear his breaths evening out, growing steadier with each kiss.

Placing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, I pulled back slightly, looking into his blue eyes. Somehow they reminded me of the sky. Of freedom.   
"Go to sleep..." I whispered, leaning in ever so slightly. I was pushing my luck, I knew. But I had to take this chance.

Steve and I hadn't been intimate in a long time, ever since Bucky had been found. I had never brought up this matter with Steve and he had done nothing to remedy it. I was lonely. I needed someone too.

"I don't want to..." Bucky whispered and his eyes went to my lips before looking back up. That was all the confirmation I needed.   
I slowly closed the distance between our lips and began to kiss him tentatively. He stiffened for a moment, and then he began to kiss me back hesitantly. His lips were less fuller than Steve's.

His flesh hand came up to cradle my cheek, his metal arm staying by his side. I slowly traced his bottom lip with the tip of my tongue, asking for permission. He complied and deepened the kiss.   
I moaned softly as our tongues met and danced together. His hand moved from my face, into my hair.   
"Y/N..." he sighed, when I broke away from his lips.

"What do you want, James? Tell me", I said, placing kisses along his neck.

He swallowed thickly.

" You... " he answered, his voice husky.

"Then take me..."

I pulled my tank top over my head, before throwing it away. I wasn't wearing anything underneath.   
His eyes burned silently into my skin and I leaned in to kiss him again.   
He pulled me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me, holding me close.   
When he we broke away again, I could see that he was hesitating. Almost as if he was afraid to touch me.   
I hooked a finger under his chin and made him look up at me.

"Listen...Bucky. There's no rush, okay? Take your time, I'm right here..."

As much as I wanted him, I was never going to force myself on him. Especially after the trauma that he had endured.   
He pressed his forehead into my shoulder.

"I want to, Y/N. I really do. I just.... I'm afraid I'll hurt you..." he muttered, sounding upset.

"Look at me, James" I told him, and he did as I said.

"You will not hurt me. I trust you, okay? I trust you..." I said, stroking his hair.

I took his hands and brought them to my breasts, holding them there. The cold metal against my skin made me shudder.   
"I want you to touch me", I whispered, showing him how I wanted to be touched.

He was hesitant at first, but eventually his instinct took over. He began to remember.

Laying me down on my back, he made quick work of my panties, pulling them down my legs and discarding them.   
His flesh hand crept between my legs and he began to massage my mound gently.

"Use your other hand, Bucky..." I told him.

"But..." he began.

"You won't hurt me..." I cut him off.

His bionic fingers replaced his flesh ones, slipping easily into me making me gasp. The metal was cold and smooth, stroking my inner walls as he moved his fingers in and out.

"Bucky..." I moaned, lacing my fingers with his other hand.

He worked his fingers in and out of me, until I was very close to finishing.   
And then he stopped.

"James Buchanan Barnes! Are you teasing me?" I asked him, half - frustrated, half - mockingly.

"Maybe I am, doll", he said, grinning at me.

It was the first time I had seen a genuine smile on his face.   
And he called me doll! This was an improvement, right?

I sat up and began to help him take off his sweatpants.   
When he was standing in front of me, completely naked, all thought and reason went out of the window.

He was glorious. Beautiful, but an exact opposite of Steve. He was built very much like Steve, but he had scars all over his body. On his chest, shoulders, down his back. And especially where the metal arm had been fused into his flesh.

"Its bad, right?" he asked me, taking note of my staring.

"You're perfect, James. I couldn't care less about the scars. They are a part of you..." I said, placing a hand on his chest.

"I could give a really long-winded speech right now, but I really need you..." I said, lying back down.

He chuckled quietly and I swear I felt my heart stop for a second.

He crawled up the length of my body and I opened my legs for him, legging him kneel between them.

I waited in silence, watching as he took himself in his bionic hand, giving his shaft a few pumps, his flesh hand resting on my thigh.

A gasp left my lips when I felt him slip into me, just the very tip.   
"Are you a virgin?" he asked me and I shook my head.   
And then with a fluid thrust of his hips, he plunged into me completely. I cried out, feeling a searing burn as my inner walls tried to become accustomed to his sheer size.

"Are you hurt?" he asked me, his own voice sounding strained. And concerned.

"It'll pass..." I said, wrapping my legs around his hips.   
Using the leverage, I used my legs to pull him deeper into me. We both moaned in unison.

"You feel amazing, Y/N..." he groaned against my shoulder.

When he began to move, he started tentatively, trying to find a rhythm that suited us both.   
He alternated between quick and shallow, and slow and deep. I could feel his hesitation slipping away, a sureness replacing it. He was finally trying to let go.

We were trying to find out what the other liked.   
"Bucky..." I moaned, when he hit that spot deep inside me that made me see stars.

"Right there..." I moaned, my nails digging into his shoulders.   
He was a quick learner. He quickly found my most sensitive spots, using them to make me melt. For a long time, the only sounds in the room were that of his groans, my moans and the sound of the rain.

He groaned into my neck when he finished, and I followed him soon after.   
A while later, we lay next to each other, trying to catch our breaths.

I stroked his hair, kissing him ever so often, my leg hooked over his thigh.   
I could feel him harden against my thigh and I reached down to stroke him.   
"You'll be the death of me, doll..." he said, smiling against my lips.

It was clear that neither of us was going to sleep tonight.


	39. When The Time Is Right

The boys were still away on their mission and we were having a girls' day out. Daisy, Jemma, Darcy, Nat, Wanda and I were out and about. We'd had a really nice brunch, after which we had to accompany Darcy to help her with some shopping. Wedding dress shopping, to be precise.  
Darcy was getting married to one of Jane's male interns, I kept forgetting his name.

Anyway, it was utter pandemonium in the store. Initially, only Darcy had been trying out the dresses, doing a quick walk in front of us, showing off the dress while we oohed and aahed and applauded. But then Natasha suggested, much to the chagrin of the sales assistants, that we ALL try out the wedding dresses! It was quite fun, watching Daisy and Jemma and Nat try out the dresses.  
Wanda and I tried to avoid it, as much as we could. I was quite apprehensive about trying out a wedding dress, actually. I was sure I was going to have a full blown panic attack, seeing myself in a wedding dress.

"Come on, Y/N! Try on a dress!" Jemma said, breathlessly, currently wearing a short white dress with lace sleeves and a poofy skirt.

"Yeah, it'll be fun!" said Daisy, grabbing a sulking Wanda's hand and dragging her into the changing room.

"Nat, please make Y/N try on a dress. I beg you", Darcy said, sighing dramatically, urging the Russian redhead.

Nat came up to me and offered me a hand.  
"Come on, Y/N. Just one dress? Please?"  
She gave me her signature puppy eyes and I groaned. I could never resist her puppy eyed look.

"Fine. One dress. You choose", I replied, begrudgingly.

I huffed and made my way to the dressing room, while Natasha went to talk to the sales assistant, trying to find out a dress for me.

I waited for a few moments in the trial room, staring at myself in the mirrors, before Nat's hand appeared through the curtain, holding a dress.

"Here, try this one", she said, handing me the hanger.

"Alright..." I sulked, before taking the dress and starting to strip out of my clothes.

I slipped on the dress, before I realized that the back of the dress needed to be zipped up. And I couldn't reach the damn zipper.

"Hey, Nat? A little help, please?" I called.

She came in immediately and helped me pull up the zipper, before pulling back and looking at my reflection in the mirror.

"Oh, Y/N..." she said, quietly, her eyes softening.

The dress was made up of ivory lace which had an intricate floral pattern, interlaced with meshwork. It was a full length dress, but the skirt was neither frilly nor hugging too tightly at my hips. It was a very simple dress, with an off shoulder neck which showed off my neck and collarbones, something that I considered to be one of the best parts of my body. I looked beautiful, if I said so myself.

"Just a moment", Nat said, before she rushed out of the room.

When she returned, she had a silver hair comb in her hand. The comb was encrusted with rhinestones and sapphires.

"Something blue, huh?" Nat said, smiling up at me.

Being a bit taller than Natasha, I had to bend down, while she hastily scooped up my hair into a messy bun and secured it with the comb at the nape of my neck.

When I stood up again, Nat asked me to come out.

Giving myself one last look in the mirror, I stepped out of the changing room.

Everyone gasped.

Darcy, Jemma and Daisy were looking at me, wide eyed. Wanda gave me a huge smile.

"You look amazing, Y/N!" Daisy shrieked while Jemma was just smiling at me, her eyes glistening ever so slightly.

"Ha! I KNEW it! You're a total knockout, Y/N!" Darcy screamed and I laughed nervously, fidgeting with the comb in my hair.

"See? It isn't so bad", Nat said, placing her hand on my arm.

"Yeah..." I agreed, my eyes meeting Wanda's.

The female Maximoff had become one of my closest friends and she knew exactly what I was thinking, what with her mind reading superpowers.

I had been just like every little girl. I'd had dreams of a beautiful wedding. I'd marry a handsome man in a glittering ceremony, looking radiant in my wedding dress while all my loved ones looked on. I had wanted children too. A boy who looked like the man I ended up marrying and a girl who looked like me. Two children. And my husband and I. Four of us, a small, happy family.  
But during my teenage years, my parents had gone through a bitter divorce. It had affected me. A lot. It had changed my perception about marriage.

And then also the fact that I was in a relationship with not one, but TWO men. Who would I marry? Bucky or Steve? Marriage in a polyamorous relationship was out of question. And I wasn't ready to give up on either of them. They both were equally precious to me. I couldn't bear to lose either of them.

'Relax, Y/N. You'll know it when it is time', Wanda's calm voice whispered in my mind, her eyes glowing bright red for a moment.

I took a deep breath. She was right. I'd know when the time was right.


	40. Just A Dream

I stood by a huge glass window which was overlooking a garden. Two little children were playing there, running barefoot in the grass. They had to be no more than three years old. One of them was a boy. The other was a girl.

The boy had golden blonde hair and was wearing a light blue t shirt and shorts. He had a beautiful smile.   
The girl had chocolate colored hair that tumbled around her shoulders as she happily ran around the boy, wearing a pale pink frock with flowers on it.

I kept looking at the children and felt an overwhelming rush of love towards them. Why was I feeling this?   
I had never known or met these children before, had I?

But they both looked so happy playing together, their tinkling laughter leaving me mesmerised.   
And then they both turned to look at me, where I was still standing in the window, watching them.

"Mom! C'mere!" they both shouted, reaching out to me with their tiny, chubby hands, their blue eyes wide with delight.

It was the color of their eyes that sent a chill down my spine. Blue eyes.   
Such familiar eyes. Just like Steve and Bucky....

And they had called me 'mom'.

No, no, no, no, no.

No.

This couldn't be.

How was it even possible?

Were they really our...?

No.

This was crazy.

It couldn't be.

But their eyes.

Their hair.

They'd called me mom...

A sharp, searing pain in my lower abdomen pulled me out of my thoughts.   
I gasped and bent over, a hand clutching at my stomach. Another sharp stab of pain came and I felt something trickling down my inner thighs. Something warm.   
When I looked down, with a wave of nausea, I realized what it was.

Blood.

Blood was flowing down my thighs, dripping onto the floor, staining the white satin of my nightgown.

And through the pain, when I looked back up to see where the children had gone, all I saw was darkness.

Pure, impenetrable darkness...

Â 

With a gasp I sat up in bed, the sheets bunched around my waist. Natasha had a hand on my arm.   
My skin was clammy with sweat.

"It was just a dream, Y/N. Relax..." she said, looking at me with concerned eyes.

I fought back my tears and looked at her.

"What happened?" I asked.

"They're back, Y/N. Steve and Bucky. They want to see you. I just wanted to let you know", she said, stroking my cheek.

I let out a sigh of relief and nodded at her.

Steve and Bucky were back. Everything was alright. It was just a dream. Just a dream...

Right?


	41. The Doubt

Putting on my robe, I ran straight to the common room on our floor, where I knew the boys would be waiting for me. It was our tradition of sorts.

I flung the door open and there they were. I exhaled in relief before running over to them. I kissed Bucky first and then Steve, before pulling back to do a quick inventory. Neither of them was seriously injured, thank God. Steve had a few cuts on his forearms, while Bucky had a few bruises on his face.

"Have you both been to the hosp-" I began, before Steve cut me off with a kiss.

"No serious injuries, doll. Though we're willing to undergo a full body inspection by you, if you know what I mean", Bucky said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

I laughed and swatted him on the shoulder. "Yeah, sure, soldier. But not now. Its time you both had a decent breakfast first", I said in a mock stern voice.

"Yes you're right, Y/N. After all we'll need all the energy we've got. You know...for post breakfast activities", Steve said, grinning wickedly at me.   
Bucky snorted.

I rolled my eyes.

"Alright, alright. But breakfast first, okay? Now come on", I said turning on my heel to head to the door when a sudden wave of dizziness hit me.

"Oh.." I said, bringing a hand to my forehead and holding onto the sofa with the other to stop myself from toppling over.   
The room was spinning and I closed my eyes, taking in deep breaths.

"Y/N! What's wrong?" Steve asked rushing over to my side.

Bucky placed a protective hand on my back, trying to steady me.   
"You okay, doll?" he asked.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm okay", I said, trying to regain composure.

"You know what, guys? You go on over for breakfast, I'll eat a little later", I said, sitting down on the sofa. " I didn't get much sleep last night and I'm not hungry as such", I said.

The boys looked at each other doubtfully.

"Go and eat!" I said, waving my hand at them, lying down on the couch.

I closed my eyes, when I heard their retreating footsteps.

"Hey, Bucky?" I called out.

"Yeah, doll?"

"If you see Wanda or Nat, could you send them over here, please?" I said, my eyes still closed.

"Sure thing, doll", he said before he left.

I lay there for a few minutes, doing a few calculations in my head. I hadn't had my period in awhile. But the birth control pill I was on was known to cause an irregular cycle.

I heard footsteps approaching and I opened my eyes to see Nat and Wanda standing in front of me.

"Y/N, are you okay? Bucky told me you were feeling dizzy", Natasha asked, her voice concerned.   
I sat up slowly and asked the both of them to sit next to me.

"Nat, I wanted to tell you something. I think Wanda has known it for a while now. But it is still doubtful, nothing has been confirmed", I said, looking at her.

"What? What is it?" Nat asked. But I was too terrified to say the words out loud.

Thankfully, it was Wanda who answered for me. Placing a gentle hand on my shoulder, she spoke.

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"Y/N thinks she might be pregnant."


	42. Unexpected Arrival

Wanda, Nat and I were standing in my bathroom silently staring at the four pregnancy test sticks which were lying on the counter.

All positive.

ALL positive.

It was official.

I was pregnant.

Oh. My. God.

The realization had still not sunk in yet, but Natasha had lifted up the front of my shirt and done a quick examination.

"I think you must be 5-6 weeks along, Y/N", she had said, placing a hand on my belly.

I hadn't even noticed. Sure I'd had some nausea and dizziness, but nothing too severe. I had dismissed it as a flu. And the ever so slight swell of my belly was hardly noticeable.

I placed my hand delicately on my belly. I was PREGNANT.

And terrified.

More than being happy or joyful, I was scared. There were questions running around in my mind in rapid fire succession.

'I'm pregnant?'

'How can it be? I was on the pill!'

'How did I not notice it before?'

'How do I tell the boys?'

'How will they react?'

'Will they help me?'

'Will they leave me?'

'Who's the father?'

'Bucky or Steve?'

'Am I ready to be a mother? I'm so young!'

'I don't think I'll be able to do this! Am I strong enough?'

'Is this really what I wanted with my life? Getting pregnant at such a young age, where I wasn't even sure who the father was?'

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Suddenly I felt tears prickling at my eyes. I let out a quiet sob and Natasha looked at me, bewildered.

"Y/N, Y/N. Sit down. Take a deep breath. Calm down..." she said in a soothing voice, helping me sit down on the bathroom floor.  
Wanda sat down next to me, holding my hand.  
Even my hands had gone cold from the dread.

"Do you want me to call the boys?" Nat asked.

"NO!" I screamed and both the girls jumped.

"I'm... I'm sorry, Natasha. I just...I don't want to tell the boys about it right now. Please?" I said, my voice breaking as I tried to speak.

"But Y/N..." Natasha began, but Wanda interrupted her.

"She'll tell them when she's ready. Right, Y/N?" Wanda said quietly, giving my hand a squeeze.

I sniffled and placed my head on her shoulder, looking at Nat.

"I don't want to tell them right now, Natasha. Please. Promise me you won't tell them anything. Both of you..." I whispered, a tear running down my cheek and onto Wanda's shoulder.

"I won't, I promise", Natasha said, bending down and giving me a kiss on the forehead.

"They won't hear it from me, Y/N..." Wanda said quietly.

The three of us sat there on the floor in silence.

I couldn't tell the boys. Not yet. Steve was busy with consolidating and training the Avengers and it was taking a toll on him. And Bucky was still recovering, he still suffering from the occasional bouts of erratic behavior and nightmares. I couldn't burden either of them with this. Not yet.

Also, I was scared about what their reaction was going to be like. I didn't think I'd be able to handle their rejection. Not at this stage.

No. I wouldn't tell them.

"No one can know. I'm trusting you both", I said, grasping their hands in mine.

They nodded.

I needed to go for a walk. I had to clear my head. This was too much to process at once.

"I'm going out. I'm going for a walk", I said, standing up.

"But, Y/N..." Wanda started to speak.

"No, Wanda. I need a little time. You can tell Bucky and Steve that I've gone home and they can find me there..." I said, getting dressed hastily.

Putting on my coat and boots, I bid goodbye to Wanda and Natasha.

"Be careful, okay? I'll come visit you in the evening", Natasha said, kissing my cheek.

I walked swiftly to the elevator and asked the AI to take me to the ground floor.

As I emerged from the Tower, the cool air hit my face, sharp and crisp. It was around 9 am and people were just getting started with their day.

I walked with brisk strides, taking the familiar path that led me home, thinking all the while.

'What if the baby is a boy?'

'I want him to look like Steve.'

'And if it is a girl, I want her to have Bucky's hair. Its such a beautiful color!'

'Bucky would like that. A little girl who looked like him. He'd call her 'doll' too.'

'His little doll.'

'And if it is a girl with Steve's blonde hair? She'll be his best girl!'

I could imagine Bucky and Steve playing with the little child which was growing inside me at this very moment. It brought a smile to my lips and my hand went instinctively to my little baby bump.

My reverie was broken when I heard a black van screech to a halt right in front of me. I had almost reached my house, but the van was blocking my path.

The door of the van swung open and out climbed the last person I had expected to see.

Grant Ward.

We had been friends, sort of, while he was working at SHIELD. Or should I say infiltrating SHIELD? Last I'd heard about him, he was rising ruthlessly through the ranks in HYDRA.

"Hey, Y/N. Long time no see..." he said, walking over to me, his arms spread open, a menacing grin on his face. A chill went down my spine. This wasn't good. Grant Ward was trouble. BIG trouble. And what did he want from me?

I turned around to run but two of his thugs caught me and dragged me into the van while I screamed and struggled to get out of their grip.

They pushed me down onto the seat. I tried to raise my hand to hit one of the thugs, but he was too quick and he punched me in the face.

I reeled back from the pain, the dizziness hitting me in full force. As the van began to move, I felt one of them pull up the sleeve of my coat, exposing my arm. And then I felt a sharp prick in my arm.

An injection.

Almost instantly, I began to feel drowsy, struggling to stay conscious.

"What...do you want?" I asked, my speech slurring, my eyelids drooping.

"Winter will come for his little whore. And Rogers will be the bonus prize..." Ward said.

The sound of his taunting laughter was the last thing I heard before I sank into darkness.


	43. Darkness

'Where am I?'

'I was walking home and then...'

I woke up to the feeling of the cold stone floor against my back. Every muscle in my body hurt. Using my hands, I tried to sit up, but I felt weak.   
How long had I been out?

"Ah, you're awake now?" I heard Ward's voice, loud and clear. But I couldn't see him. The room was too dark. And my vision was still blurry from the drugs he had given me.

"W-What do you want?" I croaked out. My voice was hoarse due to lack of use. And dehydration.

"I believe I told you what I want, Y/N", Ward replied, his voice calm and smooth.

I heard footsteps approaching and then Ward came into view. He stood in front of me, tall and powerful.

But I wasn't going to let that intimidate me.

"You don't stand a chance against them, Grant", I said, giving him a taunting smile.

"They'll kill y-" I began, but he punched me in the face, sending me crashing to the floor.   
I felt blood pool up in my mouth and I spat it on the floor.

He surged towards me and caught me by the hair, making me look at him.   
"There are rules here, slut. I ask. You answer. Not a word otherwise. Do you understand???" he asked, giving my hair a sharp tug.

The searing pain in my scalp made my eyes water, but I did not scream. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND???" he shouted.

I spat at his face.

He recoiled in shock, wiping off my blood and saliva off his face.

"Seems like you've toughened up a little, Y/N. Maybe fucking two soldiers at a time has something to do with it?" he said, advancing towards me again, an evil grin on his face.

"Atleast they're REAL men. Unlike you", I said.

This time he kicked me in the stomach.   
The pain was blinding.

I curled up into a ball on the floor, trying to breathe, tears streaming down my face. The blow had knocked the wind out of me.

And then suddenly I remembered.

The baby.

My hand went to my belly, clutching at it instinctively. Protectively.

He sent another kick, harder this time. Even my hand covering the bump couldn't cushion the blow.

I cried out in pain, screaming as loud as I could.   
Ward laughed ruthlessly and I could hear the laughter coming from his thugs as well.

As my eyes became accustomed to the lack of light in the room, I could see that we weren't alone. HYDRA mercenaries standing in each corner of the room, armed and ready.

Suddenly, I heard urgent footsteps outside the room and the door swung open. They're here! The Avengers", one of Ward's men informed him.

I felt an overwhelming rush of relief.

They were here.

"Its showtime, boys!" Ward yelled, drawing out his own gun. "Let's give them hell!"

I could hear screams and crashes coming from the outside. The sound of guns being fired. It was pandemonium.

I withdrew to a corner of the room.

It went on for a few minutes. While I waited with bated breath. Any moment now...

The door slammed open and almost every man in the room began shooting at the intruder unanimously.

Through the darkness, I could make out the familiar glint of a metal arm. And a shield.

I was safe.

It was going to be okay.

As I watched from my corner, they made quick work of Ward's men. Steve used his shield to protect himself and Bucky from the gunfire, while Bucky finished them off.

Ward never had a chance, I could tell. But I couldn't find him anywhere. Had he escaped?   
I couldn't tell through the chaos in the room.

While Bucky dealt with the men, I saw Steve approach me.

He was smiling. I smiled back.

He crouched down in front of me, cradling my face in his hands.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" he asked, his voice full of concern.

I shook my head.

And that's when I saw him.

Ward.

He was standing in the galley, almost a floor above where we were, in front of me. And he had a sniper rifle in his hand. His target was Steve.

Almost in slow motion, I used all my strength and pushed Steve aside.

Just as Ward pulled the trigger.

"STEVE!!!!"

The bullet hit me. Directly.

In my lower abdomen.

I couldn't breathe for a moment.

And then I felt the pain.

And the blood.

I collapsed onto the floor, breathing hard, my hand clutching at my stomach, trying to stop the bleeding.

My blood was warm, flowing through my fingers, staining the white fabric of my shirt a bright red.

"Y/N!" I heard Bucky and Steve scream my name.

As I lay there, on the floor, I realized that I wasn't only bleeding from the gunshot wound. There was a sudden trickle of heat between my legs.

No.

NO.

I tried to scream. But the pain was too much.

I felt Bucky's metal fingers cradling my face.

"Look at me, doll. Look at me..." he said, but his voice sounded so far away.

I tried to look at his face.

But instead, I saw the children I had seen in my dreams.

A girl with Bucky's hair...

A boy who looked like Steve...

"Mom! C'mere!"

Their tiny arms outstretched...

"Save them..." I whispered, my bloodstained hand clutching at Bucky's shirt.

The children were disappearing into the darkness...

I had to stop them!

Please don't go...

Please...

"What?" Steve asked, holding my other hand.

"Our children..." I gasped, before I let myself succumb to the darkness...


	44. No Matter What

Steve's POV

I stood outside her hospital room, waiting for the doctor to come and give me the reports.   
Bucky was sitting by her bedside, his head bowed as he took one of her hands in both of his, holding it for dear life.

"Captain Rogers, I'm sorry. We did the best we could..." I hadn't even heard the doctor arrive.

I turned to look at him.

"The wound was a direct one, the bullet lodged itself in her uterus. She suffered massive internal bleeding. We have given her six blood transfusions so far. And the bullet has been removed. But I'm afraid we couldn't save the babies. We have performed a reconstructive surgery on he-"

But there was only one word that I had heard clearly.

"Babies?" I asked. "There were two of them?"

The doctor took a deep breath.

"Yes, Captain. She was carrying twins. Both females. I'm so very sorry..." he said and kept on talking, but his voice faded into the distance.   
My knees felt like they were about to give out. I placed my hand against the wall, bracing myself, trying to take in deep breaths.

No.

I did not even remember falling on my knees, but suddenly I felt the doctor's hand on my shoulder, shaking me.

"Captain Rogers? Are you alright?" he said, his eyes wide with concern.

I almost wanted to laugh at him.   
Was I alright? He had to be joking right?

Bucky heard the commotion in the corridor and came out of her room.

"Stevie. Come on, man. Get up. Come on now..." he said, placing his hand on my other shoulder and helping me stand up.

I walked into her room with Bucky, in a daze. He helped me sit down on the sofa on the other side of her bed, facing him.

"What is it Steve? What did the doctor say? She's going to be okay, right?" Bucky asked me, but my eyes were on Y/N.

She looked so pale and weak. Her skin looked drained, from the blood loss. Even her lips had paled. The same lips we loved to kiss...

"She was going to have twins, Buck. Two girls. Two little girls..." I said, feeling my voice break. My eyes were stinging with the tears that were threatening to fall. But I had to be strong. For Bucky. For Y/N.

Bucky let out a strangled sob and buried his face into his hands, his fingers clutching at his hair. I had never seen him lose composure like this. This was different.

"Bucky..."

"I'm going to kill that son of a bitch. I'm going to kill him!" Bucky growled, looking up at me. I could see angry tears running down his bloodshot eyes.

"Not now, Buck. We need to take care of Y/N first..." I said, taking her other hand in mine, carefully. Her skin felt cold to the touch and her hand felt even more fragile. The shadows under her eyes were a sharp contrast against her pale skin. If it weren't for the steady rise and fall of her chest and the rhythmic beeping of her heart rate monitor, I would've assumed that she was gone.

Gone.

No.

I couldn't imagine that.

Bucky was wiping away his tears with his metal hand. He hadn't slept in hours. He looked haggard, worn out.   
He had downright refused to leave her bedside.

"Buck. Go get some sl-"

"Shut up, Steve. If you think I'm going to leave her here then you're sadly mistaken."

"I'll stay with her. You need to sleep."

"Don't make me come there and hit you, jerk. I'm staying. End of story."

I gave him a weary half smile, at which he gave me a slight wink.

He was right. We were in this together.

The door swung open and Natasha and Wanda walked in.

Nat had tear tracks on her cheeks, her eyes red.   
"I'm sorry, Steve. Bucky. I'm so sorry..." she whispered, hugging both of us, before taking a seat by her bedside.

Wanda however, remained standing near the door. Unmoving.   
Her eyes were glowing bright red.

"She pushed you aside and took a bullet for you. Why couldn't you use your shield?" she said in a venomous tone.

I looked at her, aghast. While Bucky made a sudden, violent move towards her. Luckily, Natasha stopped him.

"Keep your mouth shut, Maximoff"', Bucky growled.

"I've seen her pain. I've felt it", Wanda said, tapping two fingers against her temple.   
"Losing a child is one of the most painful things a woman can experience in her life. You both cannot imagine she pain she went through in those moments. She used to have dreams about your children! A girl who looked like you", she pointed at Bucky.   
"And a boy who looked like you", she said, pointing at me.   
"I saw her dreams. I felt the love she felt for those children. Y/N is my sister. And you let this happen to her!" Wanda almost screamed, before storming out of the room.

There was a stunned silence in the room.   
I could see Wanda sobbing in Pietro's arms, outside the room.

"Steve..." Natasha began.

"I know what you're going to say, Nat. But it is my fault..." I said, and I felt a tear run down my cheek.

I looked at my shield which was lying in the corner of the room. They had told me that it was made of Vibranium, one of the strongest, rarest metals on Earth. And it had failed to protect the one woman I loved more than my own life. Now, it felt like a ridiculous painted scrap of metal to me. Nothing more.

I took her hand in mine, pressing my lips into her palm, silently urging her to wake up.

"She's strong, Steve. She'll wake up soon", Bucky said, placing a kiss to her forehead.

Watching him gently stroke her hair, with a look of pure devotion on his face, I felt a surge of relief.

He was right. She was strong.

And we would get through this. Together.

No matter what.


	45. Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Reader's POV

Pain.

That's what I felt, even before I opened my eyes.

Perhaps the painkillers they had given me weren't strong enough.

And I felt so....tired.

I slowly opened my eyes and was greeted by brightness. Bright, white lights. And the clean smell. Yep...definitely a hospital.

Once my vision cleared up a little, I looked to the right side of my bed. Bucky was asleep. He was slumped over in his chair, his head resting beside my hand on the bed.

Slowly, being careful of the IV needle they had hooked me on, I reached out and placed my hand on his head, the familiar feel of his dark hair between my fingers calming me somewhat.

He stirred.

"Y/N...what...?" he mumbled sleepily.

Then he realized that I was awake.

His eyes went wide and he sat up quickly, looking at me.   
"Y/N...you're awake!" he exclaimed and his face lit up, tears shimmering in his blue eyes.   
His expression wrenched at my heart.

I opened my mouth to speak, but my voice came out in a whisper.

"Hi, Buck..."

"Oh, god, Y/N. Thank god you're back! Thank god...I'm gonna call Stevie..." he said, reaching for his cellphone.

I stopped him, placing my hand on his.

"No...not yet..." I whispered.

"But, doll..."

"No, James..."

He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"I thought I had lost you..."

"Bucky? What about the baby?" I asked.

I felt his body become rigid and tense. He remained silent, for a long moment.

He then pulled back and looked me straight in the eye.

"I'm sorry, doll. They didn't make it..."

"They? There were..."

"There were two, Y/N..."

I felt as if someone had stabbed me through the heart. I wanted to scream. I wanted go scream so loud. But I couldn't. Angry tears stung at my eyes, falling down my cheeks, running into my hair as I wept silently.

My children.

Our children.

They were gone.

Just like that.

Gone.

Bucky reached forward and pulled me into his arms. I wanted to fight him. To scream at him.   
Instead, I buried my face into his shoulder and sobbed.

"I'm sorry....I'm so sorry..." Bucky kept saying, cradling me in his arms.

I heard the door open and I looked up from Bucky's shoulder to see Steve standing in the doorway.

He was standing there, almost afraid of what to do next.

"Steve..." I said, stretching out my hand to him. "Come here..."

Bucky let go of me and turned around to look at Steve.

Steve hesitated for a moment, before he came and sat down on my other side.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. It was my fault. I could hav-"

"Steve, please. It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry too... I couldn't save my...our..."

I broke off, letting out a sob.

"Hey...hey..." Steve said, pulling me into his arms.

"You're awake. You're okay. That's what matters to us, Y/N. We'll get through this..." he said in a soothing voice.

"Promise?" I asked.

"Yes, doll. Promise..." Bucky said, placing a kiss on top of my head.


	46. Impossible, right?

It had been a couple of weeks since I had been discharged from the hospital. My injuries were healing up quite well and I was undergoing psychological therapy.

I had even returned to work, in a way. I was working from my living quarters in the Avengers Tower, instead of the central laboratory upstairs.

Bucky was my rock. He was by my side, through and through. I was so grateful to have him by my side.   
The same couldn't be said about Steve, though.

To say that Steve had been avoiding me was an understatement. I hadn't even seen him in the past few days.

I had asked Bucky about where Steve was and he seemed to be clueless about his whereabouts.

"Steve will come around, doll. Don't worry..." he had reassured me with a hug.

Steve was feeling guilty, I understood that. The whole incident with my pregnancy and Ward had left him shaken. I had chosen to give him space. I didn't want to be the clingy girlfriend. And also, I had Bucky. He was with me, every step of the way.

But somewhere in the back of my mind, I just wished that Steve would come and talk to me. Just once. I would tell him that none of what happened was his fault. I wanted to relieve him of the guilt.

That's why I decided to give Steve a surprise visit. At his apartment in Brooklyn. SHIELD had set it up for him. It was the least they could do for America's Golden Boy.

When Bucky was away, training, I slipped away, hailing a cab ride to Steve's place. When I went up to his apartment, it was empty. I waited outside for about 10 minutes.

Then I headed back downstairs out of his building. There was a pharmacy nearby and I needed to buy some medicines. I thought I'd kill some time there and then go back to Steve's apartment, hoping that he'd return by then.

As I walked by the neighborhood coffee shop, making my way to the pharmacy, a familiar head of blonde hair caught my eye. Pushing my glasses up the bridge of my nose, I looked closely.

It was Steve.

He was sitting at one of the tables.

But he wasn't alone.

There was a woman sitting across from him.

She had blonde hair too, which ran down her shoulders, flowing freely.

Steve was holding her hand, while he spoke to her.

He must've said something funny, because the woman threw her head back, laughing.

And that's when I saw her face.

Sharon.

Sharon Carter.

Peggy's niece.

I felt as if someone had doused me with a bucket of cold water.

I just stood there, outside the glass window, on the curbside, looking at them.

And Steve appeared to be having a bloody good time.

Sharon suddenly reached forward and what she did next made my heart stop.

She kissed him.

She kissed Steve.

I felt as if someone had knocked the wind out of my lungs.

Turning around, I walked as fast as I could, hailing a cab, while tears stung at my eyes.

No.

I wasn't going to cry.

But...he was out with her.

Sharon Carter.

After everything I'd been through, he'd not even bothered to see how I was doing.

It was too much. Too much confusion.

I had to get back.

"Avengers Tower, please..." I told the cabbie, the tears now running down my face.

The driver looked at me with a bewildered expression in the rear view mirror. I ignored him.

I had to get back.

I had to tell Bucky what I had just seen.

Was Steve really cheating on me?

On us?

It had to be impossible...

Right?


	47. Lovely Girl

As soon as I reached the Avengers Tower, I hurried straight to the training area. I knew I'd find Bucky there.

Tears were running down my cheeks freely now and people passing by were staring at me. I didn't care.

The sight of Sharon's lips on Steve's kept flashing before my eyes. Over and over.

How could he do this?

I had taken a bullet for him. Literally.

Bucky was training and thankfully, he was alone.  
He was going at the punching bag, laying punches left right and center at lightning speed.

He must've heard my heels clacking, because he turned around.

"Hey, doll-"

I flung my arms around him, burying my face into his neck and inhaling his scent. His scent always comforted me.

"Hey, what happened?" he asked me, pulling me closer.

"I saw...I saw...him..." I sobbed into his neck, unable to complete a full sentence, I was crying so much.

He stiffened.

"Who did you see, doll?"

"S-S-Steve..." I stuttered.

"What happened?"

"He was kissing Sharon. Peggy's niece! Sharon Carter!" I almost shouted.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down, darling. Sit down...explain it to me..." he said, urging me to sit down on the floor.

We sat cross legged in front of each other on the floor mats in the gym and I managed to regain enough composure to tell Bucky what I had seen.

By the time I was finished, he was seething.

"You got shot protecting him. You suffered a miscarriage. If he really kissed her, Steve is in deep shit, Y/N", he said, his bionic fingers clenching into a fist.

"He kissed her, Bucky. Believe me. I saw it..." I said.

"That idiot. Steve is such an idiot sometimes", Bucky said.

"You know, Buck, Steve had told me that the three of us were going to get through this together. He had promised. You remember, right? In the hospital?"

Bucky nodded.

"Now it feels like there's only two of us in this relationship. You and me", I said quietly, wiping away the silent tears that were running down my cheeks.

Bucky's flesh hand came under my chin and he tilted my face so that I was looking up at him.

"I'm not leaving you, doll. Not now. Not ever. I'm with you. I'm with you..." he said, before placing a kiss on my lips.

"I know, James. I know. I love you so much..." I whispered, taking his hands in mine.

"I love you more, doll..."

We were silent for a long moment, just staring at each other.

"James, do you remember? Once you had asked me to run away with you...?" I asked, in a quiet voice.

He grinned.

"Of course I remember, doll..."

"We should have. We should have run away..." I said and Bucky's grin disappeared.

He shook his head.

"You don't mean that. You'd never leave... You'd never agree to leave Steve, doll..."

I flinched at the mention of Steve's name.

I could almost see him kissing Sharon again.

"I am willing to leave, James. I will run away with you, if it means being with you till the rest of my days. You've been with me when I've needed you the most. I will follow you, wherever you go... As long as you want me..."

He cradled my face in his hands.

"I will always want you, my lovely girl. Always..." he said, placing a kiss on my forehead.

Pulling back, he looked at me.

"But first, I'm going to deal with Steve", he said, a glint of anger in his eyes.


	48. Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio have a talk...

Bucky and I made our way back to Steve's Brooklyn residence the next morning. It was a cold December morning, complete with freshly fallen snow and the crisp winter air. It almost felt like Christmas.

Walking down the familiar corridor, we stood outside his door. I knocked.

Once.

Twice.

No reply.

"Steve! Open up!" I called out.

Still no response.

I looked at Bucky doubtfully.

He looked irritated.

Clenching his bionic hand into a fist, Bucky banged it roughly against the door.

"OPEN THE DAMN DOOR, STEVEN!"

I was surprised he didn't punch his hand through the door itself.

The sound of quiet footsteps approaching the door was heard, before the door swung open.

However, it wasn't Steve who had opened the door.

It was Sharon.

Sharon Bitchface Carter.

Her blonde hair was all tousled and tangled and all she was wearing was Steve's blue button down shirt.  
The very shirt I'd bought him.

"Can I help you?" she asked me, her voice dripping with false sweetness.

I wanted to punch her in the face.

I took a deep breath and plastered on an equally fake smile.

"Is Steve here?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

"Yes, he is, as a matter of fact. He's sleeping, though. He's quite tired, our Captain. I think I wore him out!" Sharon said, giggling.

God, I really wanted to slap her.

I turned to look at Bucky, who was watching our exchange with a raised eyebrow.

"James, could you please wake our dearest Captain for me?" I asked, trying hard to keep my anger contained.

"Sure thing, doll", he said and sidestepped Sharon, who for once was wise enough not to interrupt him as he made his way into the bedroom.

"Please, make yourself at home!" she said, and went and sat down on the sofa. Like she owned the place.

I remained standing, while listening to Bucky's harsh voice waking Steve up, who was saying something that I couldn't make out in his sleepy voice.

Bucky marched back out of the room and came to stand beside me.

And then Steve emerged from the bedroom, shirtless, wearing grey sweatpants.  
His hair was messed up and he had deep pink marks all over his neck and chest.

Hickeys.

I clenched my jaw and looked at Sharon, who was sprawled on the sofa, smiling innocently at me.

Bitch.

"Good morning, Steve. I wanted to talk to you..." I said, pushing my glasses up the bridge of my nose.

"Yeah, tell me. What is it?" Steve said, folding his arms in front of his chest.

Defensive stance.

"Bucky, could you please escort Miss Carter to her apartment next door?" I said, trying to remain as calm as I possibly could.

"No," Steve said.

"No?" I asked. He ignored me.

"Sharon, go to the bedroom. Wait for me there", he said, in a equally calm voice.

I raised my eyebrows as Sharon sauntered into the bedroom, planting a kiss on Steve's cheek as she went.

There was silence in the room after she left.

Pure, deafening, unending silence.

Then Bucky spoke up.

"Have you lost your mind, Steve?"

"No, not really. I'm glad you both are here, actually. There was something I needed to tell you, Y/N", Steve said, looking directly at me.

"What is it?"

"I'm done", he said.

"You're done?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm done. At least for now. The three of us, this whole thing, its too much for me. Too confusing. I need a break", he said.

"You. Need. A. Break," I said, in my coldest voice.

Before I could comprehend, Bucky had Steve pressed against the wall, his metal fingers tight around Steve's neck.

"HAVE YOU GONE MAD? JUST LIKE THAT YOU DECIDE TO LEAVE HER? TO LEAVE US? AND YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH HER? PEGGY'S NIECE?" Bucky roared and I flinched at the sound of his voice.

Steve, pushed Bucky away roughly.

"Is it any different than what you did when you slept with Maximoff, Y/N?" Steve asked me.

I could feel bile rise in my throat.

Pietro.

I knew this was going to come up in this conversation.

"No, it isn't any different, Steve. And I will apologize to you a thousand times over for it", I said, looking at him.

"I shouldn't have slept with him. That was my mistake. My fault. I accept it. But I also want you to know this: I will take a thousand bullets for you and James. That is how much I love you. Both of you..."

"And if you wanted a break, you should have just come and told me. I would have gladly let you go, Steve. I love you enough to let you go, even when I need you. Even when I'm recovering..." I said, placing my hand on the same place where the bullet wound Ward had given me was still healing.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. That it had to happen this way, but it is just too much for me to take", Steve said, taking a step toward me, his arms outstretched.

I stepped back.

"It is too much for Bucky too. But he's still here, Steve", I said.

Steve looked as if I had slapped him.

Bucky walked over to me and placed a kiss to my forehead.

"I'm not leaving you, doll. I'm not going anywhere", he said, taking my hand in his.

I took a deep breath and looked at Steve.

"Well, Steve, I'll leave you to it then! Have a good life..." I said.

Bucky looked at Steve, his eyes hardening.

"Just consider me dead to you, Stevie. Like I was for the past 70 years", he said, his voice laced with venom.

"Buck-" Steve began.

"Come on, doll. We've got work to do", he said and we both walked out of Steve's apartment.

Stepping out of the building, just as the cold air hit my face, I realized the gravity of the situation.

That's it.

No Steve.

We had broken up with him.

No.

He had broken up with us.

I finally let the tears flow freely, letting out a sob.

Bucky pulled me into his arms.

"Hey, hey, hey.... I'm still here, doll. I'm still here..."

"I know, James. I know. I love you so much..." I said, burying my face into his neck.

"I love you more, doll..."

He let me cry in his arms, both of us standing on the curb, in the early December morning.

When I pulled away I looked at Bucky.

"What are we going to do?" I asked him.

He grinned, his blue eyes shining.

"Come away with me, doll. Let's leave for a while."

I felt a smile break through my tears and I leaned up to kiss him.

"You know I'd follow you anywhere, James..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo.....what do you think?  
> PLEASE tell me how you liked this chapter!
> 
> What would you like to read next! I'm excited to write about Bucky's adventures with the Reader! Where do you want them to go?


	49. The Right Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve introspects after they leave...

STEVE'S POV

I sat up in bed, looking at Sharon sleeping next to me, wondering if I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. 

I won't be able to forget Y/N's face when she left with Bucky. She had so much pain in her eyes.  
I knew she wanted to say a lot of things to me. But she didn't. And it was those things that she and Bucky left unsaid that unsettled me. 

I let them go. 

I had to. 

I didn't deserve them. Either of them. 

I failed Bucky seven decades ago. And failed him again and again. 

And Y/N... That sweet, innocent girl.  
She showed me how to love again. She helped me find a home in her arms. She kept on giving, always.  
And I failed to protect her. 

That moment when she lay in my arms, bleeding, begging me to 'save our children' haunts me every time I look at her.  
Every second of everyday, I'm wracked with guilt. 

I could have used my shield. I should have stood up. I should have protected her. I should have protected them. 

I had to let them go. It was better this way.  
I didn't want to remind Y/N of what she had lost. 

Bucky would take care of her. And she could take care of him. 

They would learn to live without me, even though I couldn't live without them. 

Sleeping with Sharon was a mistake. 

But it had to be done. It was the only way. 

I knew how tenacious Y/N could be and Bucky's stubbornness was almost legendary. 

They would never leave, unless I gave them reason to. 

And Sharon was that reason. As much as I felt ashamed for using her, it had to be done. It had to be done to set Y/N and Bucky free. 

From my window, I saw them embracing on the curbside after they left and I knew that I had done the right thing. 

Letting them go hurt. 

It was a deep wound in my heart that would take time to heal. 

Perhaps it would never heal. 

But I didn't want to cast the shadow of my guilt on their relationship. 

They loved each other. And I loved them. Like Y/N had said, I loved them enough to let them go. 

Walking out of my bedroom, cellphone in hand, I dialed Tony's number. 

Y/N was close to him. 

I would watch over her through Tony, making sure she was okay. 

I didn't want her to do anything drastic...

"Hello, Tony.."

"Cap."

"I was wondering, has Y/N reported for work yet?" 

"Nope, she hasn't. Haven't seen her", he said. 

"Alright, thanks," I said, but he had already disconnected. 

Sighing, I leaned back against the wall. 

She had Bucky. She'd be safe. 

They'd keep each other safe. 

They loved each other, maybe more than they had ever loved me. 

I just had to carry on, hope for the best for them. 

I did the right thing.

It was the only way. 

But if it was so right...why did it hurt so damn much?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts, people?  
> Did I do justice to Steve's point of view?


	50. Let's Vanish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas, my loves!   
> Bucky and the Reader prepare to disappear...

READER'S POV   
Bucky and I were sitting in Tony's office when his cell phone rang. 

"Cap" Tony said and I stiffened in my chair. 

Bucky's hand found mine and he gave me a reassuring squeeze. 

There was some murmuring on the other side of the line and Tony glanced up at me. I knew that it was Steve on the other end. He wanted to know where I was. 

I shook my head. 

"Nope, she hasn't. Haven't seen her..." Tony said and I heaved a sigh of relief. 

He hung up the call and I rushed over to hug him. 

"Thank you so much, Tony. Thank you..." I said and he hugged me back. 

"Anything for you, sweetheart", he said, placing a kiss on top of my head. 

I had gone to Tony directly. To let him know that I was leaving. With Bucky. 

"Promise me that you and Bruce will never tell Steve where Bucky and I went. Tell Wanda if you must, she'll be worried about me. And if Steve tries to find us, stop him. By any means necessary. Please, Tony", I said and he nodded. 

"Will do, darling. Your secret is safe with Bruce and me", he said, giving me a wink. 

"I've made all possible reservations and arrangements for you and Frosty. You can disappear safely now", he said. 

"Thank you so much, Tony..." I said, standing on my toes to place a kiss on his cheek. 

"I hope to see you really soon, Y/N. You will be missed", he said, giving me a sad smile. 

"I'll miss you too, Tony", I said. 

Bucky walked over and shook Tony's hand. 

"Thank you for doing this for us", he said. 

"Now don't get all sappy all over me! Just grab your tickets and go!" Tony said, like he always did when he was getting a little too sentimental. 

I laughed lightly and grabbed Bucky's hand. 

"Come on, Buck. Let's go." 

There was a cab waiting for us outside, ready to take us to the airport where Tony had arranged a chartered flight for us. 

All of this was going to make a huge dent in my bank balance, but I couldn't care less. As long as I had Bucky with me. 

Consulting our tickets, I told Bucky that first we were going to take a flight to London and then take a train from there. 

He hauled our luggage into the cab and we told the driver to take us to the airport. 

It was Christmas eve, snow everywhere. 

The sun was setting as we drove through the streets of New York. 

I couldn't help but think about Steve. He was still lingering in the back of my mind. 

Had he really chosen Sharon over me? 

After everything we had been through? 

Would he try to find us once he realized that we'd gone away? 

I was pulled from my thoughts when I felt Bucky's hand on my jean clad thigh. I turned to look at him and his blue eyes were boring into mine with a quiet intensity. 

"Don't think about him, doll..." he said, his finger tracing circles on my inner thigh, making my breath hitch. 

I nodded and leaned in to kiss him. 

He kissed me slowly, his lips warm and soft against mine, his thumb stroking my cheekbone as he cupped my face. 

When he pulled away, I was breathless. 

"I'm going to make you forget all about him..." he said, his voice deep and velvety. 

I could only stare at him. Honestly, if it weren't for the driver, I would've taken Bucky right there, in the cab. 

The cab suddenly lurched to a halt and the driver announced that we had reached the airport. 

Bucky took my hand in his and a shiver ran through me. 

He grinned at me. 

"Come on, doll. Let's vanish..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where do you want Bucky and the Reader to go? Paris? Switzerland? Prague? Berlin? And what would you want them to do there?   
> Tell me!   
> Also, did you like this chapter?


	51. Couldn't Agree More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Reader board their train...

Bucky and I had landed in London a few hours ago.   
We had a quick bite to eat before we made our way to the train station. Our train journey was to be for almost 24 hours, before we reached our destination, Venice. 

I was very excited to go to Venice, I had never been there before! 

"Venice? Why Venice, doll?" Bucky asked me as we waited for our train at the station. 

"Oh, Buck. I want to see the St Mark Basilica and the Grand Canal! And the wine tours! And I definitely want to go for a gondola ride!" I said, giggling excitedly. 

Bucky rolled his eyes and snorted. 

"You're such a tourist, doll..." he said. 

I swatted his arm playfully. 

"Fine, fine! But we're not having a singer during the gondola ride. Heaven knows its cheesy", he said and I laughed. 

"Okay, okay, no singer." 

Once we boarded our train, it was nearing evening. The jet lag was catching up to me and all I wanted to do was to find our cabin and go to sleep. 

I had to give this to Tony, though: our train was the epitome of luxury. Subtle, understated glamour was the only way I could describe it. It reminded me of the old Hollywood movies with its opulent interior, plush fabrics and gleaming, polished wood. 

We found our cabin with ease. Our cabin was spacious and elegant, giving off a vintage vibe. The bed looked so comfortable, all I wanted to do was to sink into it. As the train began to move, Bucky stripped off his coat and went to sit down on one of the sofas in our cabin. I went to the bathroom, to freshen up and to change into something comfortable. It was early evening, around 7-7.30 and I decided to go to bed early. 

I changed out of my traveling clothes, into a black satin nightgown, which had lace trim. Freeing my hair from its ponytail, I let it fall down my back. 

Stepping out of the bathroom, I saw that Bucky was reading the newspaper.   
"I'm going to bed early tonight, Buck. I'm not hungry, you can go have dinner if you want", I said, making my way to the adjoining suite, which had the bed. 

Suddenly, I felt his metal arm around my waist the spun me around to face him.   
His lips came crashing down on mine. 

"Bucky! What are you doing?" I asked breathlessly, pulling away from the kiss. 

His eyes had grown dark, lust shining in them. 

"Having dinner..." he growled, before lifting me up into his arms and carrying me to the bed. 

Laying me down on the bed, he stood and began to take off his clothes. 

I watched silently as he stripped, before he crawled on top of me. 

I went rigid with fright as his hands found the hem of my nightgown.   
It was my first time...after the attack. 

I had a scar on my lower abdomen, from the gunshot wound. I suddenly felt conscious about it. 

Almost as if he had read my mind, Bucky leaned forward and kissed me. 

"Silly girl... You've loved me...and all my flaws..." he said between kisses.   
"Now its my turn to love yours..." he said, taking my nightgown off and discarding it. 

I felt so vulnerable, being bare to him. I tried to cover myself with my hands, but he caught them. 

"No", he growled, pressing my hands down on the mattress, on either side of my head. 

He kissed his way down my neck, his warm mouth against my skin felt incredible. 

Paying attention to my breasts, he worked my nipples into hard peaks, lavishing them with his tongue. 

He went lower and in a gesture that almost brought tears to my eyes, he kissed the scar on my abdomen.

"I love you..." he said, slipping his bionic hand between my legs. 

"I love you more, James..." I moaned. 

His mouth found my soaked folds, his tongue slipping in.   
I threw my head back against the pillows. God, I had missed this so much. 

My legs opened for him and he hooked them over his shoulders, running his hands along my thighs. 

I rolled my hips against his mouth, my fingers locked in his dark hair, my body acting purely on instinct. 

"Bucky..." 

I had almost forgotten how much pleasure he could make me feel. 

With a shuddering gasp, I reached my peak. He lapped away at me, trying to prolong the pleasure for me. 

I pulled him up into my arms, reaching up to kiss him passionately. 

"Make love to me..." I whispered. 

He kissed me again. 

Just as his lips made their way to my neck, my cell phone rang. 

Bucky groaned against my skin and I reached out to silence the ringing. 

Looking at the screen, I saw who was calling me. 

Steve. 

Immediately, I rejected his call and switched off my phone. 

Turning back to Bucky, I saw that he had a grin on his face. 

"You're mine now", he said, before leaning in to kiss me. 

I couldn't agree more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like this one?


	52. Where Are They?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve introspects. Wanda gives a reality check.

STEVE'S POV

It had been two days since Bucky and Y/N had left my apartment after I had.... 

Broken it off. 

The gravity of those words still hasn't sunk in completely. 

Gradually, I was beginning to doubt my decision. 

Sharon, on the other hand, kept following me around everywhere. She had that obsessed look in her eyes.   
I had been clear with her that what had happened between us was for one night only. But she hasn't received that memo, apparently. 

It was clearly a mistake, involving her in this. 

She now had this twisted idea in her head that I wanted to be in a relationship with her. 

I was at the Avengers facility, training the new recruits when Sharon came up to me and kissed me, in front of everyone. 

"I missed you, Captain!" she screeched and I turned to look at Wanda. 

She had read Sharon's mind, my mind, her eyes glowing bright red. 

Shit. 

Wanda turned on her heel and stormed off. I hastily extracted myself from Sharon's embrace and ran after her. 

"Wanda! Wanda, listen to me, please!" 

She stopped, turned around and slapped me across the face. 

"You IDIOT! What have you done?" she screamed at me, grabbing the front of my shirt. 

"Wanda...please let me explain..." I said. 

"Explain? What is there to explain, Captain? You slept with that Carter girl! After everything Y/N went through?" 

I hung my head in shame. 

Wanda shoved at my chest, pushing me away in disgust. 

"Where did she go?" she asked me, her tone venomous. 

"I...I don't know..." I muttered. Y/N had not reported for work. Bucky hadn't been seen in any of the training arenas since that day. I had asked Tony about there whereabouts. He didn't know. Surely Wanda could read the truth from my mind. 

"You listen to me, Steven Rogers. If something, anything happens to Y/N, you'll have to deal with me first", she said, her eyes glowing fiercely. 

Before I could say anything to her, she stormed off. 

Sighing, I sat down on the stairs nearby. 

I felt a hand on my shoulder and for a wild moment, I thought it was Y/N. 

I turned around. 

It wasn't her. 

It was Sharon. 

"What's wrong, Steve? What's wrong with the Witch?" she asked me, her voice a little too sweet to sound genuine. 

I sighed. 

"Sharon, I really don't want to talk right now. Could you give me a moment?" 

"But Steve-" 

"Now" I said, harshly. 

She nodded and left without another word. 

God, I missed Y/N. And Bucky. 

I missed them both so much. 

I had to talk to them. To her. 

Taking out my phone I dialed Y/N's number. 

The phone rang once. 

Twice. 

Thrice. 

And then it was disconnected. 

Rejected, to be precise. 

Y/N didn't want to talk to me. And it was completely understandable. 

But I wasn't going to give up. 

I re-dialed her number. 

Her phone was switched off. 

A sense of sadness mixed with anxiety washed over me. 

She didn't want to talk to me. 

But was she okay? 

Where was she? 

Where were they? 

I had to find out. 

I wasn't going to rest until I found out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like this one?   
> I will return to Bucky and Reader's adventures in the next chapter.


	53. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Reader have plans this morning...

Reader's POV 

The bright morning sun was streaming in through the window. I groaned and turned over onto my side. I didn't want to wake up. Not yet. 

I curled up into him, nestling my face into his neck. It had been a week since we'd arrived in Venice. Seven days of pure bliss, so far. We spent our days doing the typical, silly, tourist-y stuff. And our nights...well, let's just say that Bucky and I didn't let each other sleep much. 

Opening my eyes, I looked up at him. He was fast asleep. He looked so young while he slept. So innocent...

Leaning in, I pressed my lips to his. Gently.   
Apparently, that was enough to wake him up.   
His eyes opened slowly, those clear cerulean pools that I could drown into...

"Morning, doll..." he smiled, his voice husky from the sleep.   
I stroked his face, placing a kiss on his stubbled cheek.   
"Good morning, Bucky..." I whispered into his ear, letting my warm breath tickle his skin. He let out a low groan, and I felt his arms tightening around me. 

"What do you want to do today?" he asked me, his metal fingers tracing patterns on my bare back. 

I shivered at the coolness of his bionic fingers against my back. 

"I want to stay right here, Buck. In bed. I'm tired of sight seeing." 

He chuckled and suddenly flipped me over onto my back, crawling on top of me.   
"Now there's a sight I'll never get tired of..." he said, grinning, before leaning in to kiss me.

I instantly responded to him, parting my lips to allow him to deepen the kiss. His hand was in my hair, metal fingers gripping the roots as his tongue plundered my mouth. 

When he pulled away, I was gasping.   
"Your wish is my command, Y/N..." he said, placing soft kisses along my neck. His flesh hand crept stealthily between my legs, fingers dipping into me. 

I was already sensitive there, thanks to our lovemaking last night. His touch made me whimper. 

"You're so beautiful, doll... So fucking beautiful..." he murmured against my neck, while I arched into his touch. 

I pulled him to me for a kiss. 

I loved Bucky Barnes so much...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What would you like to read on Steve's side of the story?


	54. I Have To Bring Them Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve dreams. And realizes.

Steve's POV

"Steve!!! Stop it...!!" Y/N's tinkling laughter filled the room as I tickled her, pinning her down beneath me. Her laugh was the most melodious music to my ears. I was laughing along with her. Her reactions were priceless. 

Suddenly, I paused and looked at her, lying there, gasping, eyes closed, hair tousled. And a smile on her lips. God, she looked so beautiful.   
I always wanted her to be this way. Happy. Carefree. Like a ray of sunlight. 

She opened her eyes. "What's wrong, Steve?" she asked, reaching up to touch my face.   
Worry was etched into her features. 

My heart wrenched. 

"I... I always want you to be happy, Y/N." 

She pulled me to her, her lips finding mine. She kissed me, deeply. I could drown in her. Her scent. Her taste. The softness of her skin. The way her body moulded into mine. 

When she pulled away, her lips were swollen and she was gasping.   
"Then why did you do it, Steve? I was with you. We were with you. Bucky and I. We loved you. Why did you push us away?" she asked, her lips brushing against mine. 

"I was stupid, Y/N. So stupid. I thought I was doing the right thing. But I messed up. I ruined it all..." I said, running my fingers through her hair. 

"Come back, Steve. Come back to us..." she whispered, before kissing me again... 

I sat up in my bed, gasping. Drenched in sweat. Alone.

But Y/N? 

She was here. 

Right here. 

In my arms.

No. 

It was just a dream. 

The realization crushed me. She was gone. They were gone. They'd left.   
I didn't know where. 

Groaning in frustration, I buried my face into my hands. 

I needed her. 

I needed them. 

Bucky and Y/N. 

I had screwed up. 

I needed to fix this. 

I had to find them. 

I had to bring them back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like this one? Do you want Steve to find Reader and Bucky? How do you want them to react? Do they want to be found by Steve? Comment away, loves!


	55. Only His

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is dominant here.

Reader's POV 

I felt dizzy. My mind turning hazy with lust. Only he could make me feel this way. Only...Oh, God. 

"J-James..." I whimpered, closing my eyes. It felt incredible. 

He had me lying on the desk in our hotel room. The wood felt hard and slippery against my bare, sweat soaked back. His hands were gripping my thighs, holding them wide apart as he thrust into me. 

My hands grasped the edge of the desk, my nails trying to dig into the wood, trying to find some purchase. Something to ground me. 

I was completely at his mercy. Just the way I liked it. Just the way he liked it. 

But right now, I wanted him to be as rough with me as possible. As much as he gave me, I craved more. 

"H-harder, Buck... Keep...keep g-going..." I moaned, throwing my head back. 

He groaned loudly, his grip on my thighs tightening. 

"Look at me, doll... Look. At. Me!" he growled, never stopping. 

It was an effort, opening my eyes, but he was a sight to behold. 

Completely naked, drenched in sweat. His long, damp hair falling ever so slightly over his blue eyes. He was biting his bottom lip in an effort to compose himself as he took me. He was gorgeous, in the moonlight streaming in through the window. The sight of him made me gasp. 

"I'm going to fuck you raw tonight, doll. I won't stop. I won't stop, even if you ask me to. Even if you beg me to. I'm going to take you, until the only name left on your lips is mine..." he said, his voice low, his nails digging into my thighs. 

"Is that understood?" he asked me, raising my left leg and hooking it over his shoulder. He did the same with my right, spreading me open almost painfully. 

"Yes... Yes... Y-Yes..." 

He began to drive into me, harder and deeper than ever before. I cried out. Was it in pain or pleasure, I couldn't tell. But it felt so...so good.   
The desk was shaking with the force of his thrusts, sending wave after wave of blinding pleasure through my veins. 

He took me.

Over and over. 

I couldn't remember how many times. 

I couldn't remember in how many ways. 

But when he was done with me, I couldn't move. I could barely lift a finger.   
I was completely spent.   
A sweaty, trembling mess. 

He gently carried me to bed and lay me down. I was going to be so sore tomorrow. I sighed at the feeling of the soft, cool sheets against my heated skin. 

He lay down next to me, taking me in his arms. With his flesh hand, he stroked my hair, kissing me slowly. Lazily. These kisses of his lulled me to sleep. 

"You belong to me, doll. I won't let anyone, anything take you away from me..." he whispered, kissing my forehead. 

Too exhausted to reply, I simply leaned in and kissed him. 

Yes, I was his. Only his now. 

And I knew that he knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like this one? How are you liking the relationship between Bucky and Reader? Where do you want it to go? What about Steve?   
> Comment, loves!


	56. Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cap needs help.

Steve's POV 

I had to find Y/N and Bucky. But I had no idea of their whereabouts. 

I had a plan, though. 

I decided to corner Tony after one of our meetings in the Avenger's Tower. Bruce was there as well, which was a good thing. If anyone knew where Y/N and Bucky had gone, it had to be them. 

"You have to help me find her, Tony. Please." 

"And why do you think I'd know where she went, Rogers?" Tony asked, quirking an eyebrow at me. 

"She was close to you. And to Dr. Banner. She must've told you something. Anything. Please. I need your help", I said, an edge of desperation creeping into my voice. 

"Would that I could, Rogers. But I simply don't want to help you. Maximoff girl told Nat everything. About what you did to Y/N. The whole mess with Peg's niece? Natasha told me about it. After hearing all of it, I'm really not in a mood to help you", he said. 

I wasn't surprised. Wanda and Y/N were close. Almost like sisters. 

But why did Wanda have to tell Nat about it all? 

News had spread like wild fire in our group, that much was clear. 

Before I could ask for any more help from Tony, he simply left. 

"I'm sitting this one out, Cap. Its your mess. Sort it yourself," he said before walking out. 

I turned to Dr. Banner. 

"Doctor, please. If you know anything. Absolutely anything about where Bucky and Y/N went, please tell me. I need to fix this. Please..." I said. 

Bruce simply fiddled with his hands like he always did, out of habit. 

"I want to help you, Steve. I really do. But I promised Y/N that I wouldn't tell you where she had gone. I cannot break that promise to her." 

My heart sank. Was no one willing to help me? 

"Its okay, I understand, Doctor. After what I've done, I don't think anyone will be willing to help me." 

I stepped out of the meeting room and headed to Natasha's room.   
I had to talk to her. 

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my arm. 

"Steve! Where have you been all this while?" Sharon screeched. 

I sighed. 

"I, uh, you know. Here and there." 

She narrowed her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. 

"Have you been avoiding me?" she asked. 

Truth be told, I was avoiding her. Like the plague. 

Involving her was a mistake. A huge, HUGE mistake. 

"You know, I was hoping you'd come by my place. After that amazing...amazing night we had? I really missed you..." she cooed, her voice overtly sweet. 

"Ugh. Please excuse me while I go puke somewhere," Natasha's voice came up from behind me, dripping with venom. 

She turned on her heel and began to walk away.   
"Natasha, wait!" I ran after her, ignoring Sharon completely. 

She turned to face me. "Wanda was right. Jesus, Steve! How could you be so stupid?" 

"I know, I know..." I began, but she cut in. 

"You know, I want to slap you, Rogers. But I think Wanda has already done the honors." 

"I need your help, Nat. Please!" 

"Oh, don't 'Nat' me now, alright, Rogers? And please blow your 'I need your help' trumpet somewhere else." 

"I need to track her down. I need to find them. To fix this. I need her back. I need them back..." I said, my voice cracking. 

I could almost feel the tears pricking at my eyes, but I blinked them away. 

"No. Absolutely not. I'm not helping you. You've had your chance. Now let her be," she said, walking off. 

I sighed. 

I knew this was going to happen. 

No one was going to help. 

But I was determined. Even more so now. 

I had to find them. 

"Venice..." came a soft, clear voice behind me. 

I turned around and saw Vision floating in the air, a few inches off the ground, before me. 

"Excuse me?" I asked. 

"She is in Venice. Your love and your best friend. I read Mr. Stark's mind. I was going to keep quiet, but it looked like you needed hel-" 

I hugged him. 

"Thank you, thank you!" I said, releasing him from the hug when I realized that I was hugging an android. 

He wasn't used to this. 

Vision looked at me strangely. 

"You're welcome, Captain," he murmured and floated away. 

A smile spread across my face. 

Venice. Venice! 

That's where I had to be. 

Now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Steve find them? How will they react? Did you like this chapter? Tell me, loves!


	57. Let's Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is from Bucky's perspective.

Bucky POV

I woke up and looked over. Y/N was asleep, nuzzling my arm. God, she looked so peaceful. I didn't want to disturb her. 

Trying not to wake her, I sat up.   
"Buck...what?" she asked, her voice groggy, her hand reaching out to me. 

I chuckled and stroked her hair.   
"Go back to sleep, doll. I'm right here. Go to sleep..." I urged her, gently kissing her forehead. 

Murmuring unintelligibly, she went back to sleep. Heavens knew she needed her rest. Especially after last night.   
Had I been too rough with her? 

I couldn't help it, though. I was possessive about her. Entirely out of instinct.   
I wanted to protect her. Especially after that punk from Hydra decided to abduct her. 

I couldn't bear the idea of losing her. I physically couldn't bear it. After losing my life and my mind, she was the only person who gave me hope. Hope that I had a chance, no matter how small, of having a peaceful life. Y/N was more valuable to me than my sanity. My life, she had become.   
I had lived without hope for seventy years. Seven decades.   
Before Y/N came along. A burst of light. I was going to hold on to her, no matter what. 

Her phone vibrated quietly, pulling me out of my reverie.   
How was that thing still on? Y/N had turned it off, ever since Steve had tried to call her. 

I picked up her phone, with the intention of switching it off. 

243 text messages.   
28 voice messages. 

Some were from our team members, her colleagues. Most of them, however, were from Steve. 

I went through them. One by one. Each had the same gist. He was apologetic. 

'I'm sorry...' 

'I miss you...' 

'I love you...' 

'Please come back...' 

'I made a mistake...' 

'I shouldn't have done this...' 

As I went through each message, I felt a stab of anger.   
Until I reached the last one. 

'I know where you are. I'm coming, Y/N. I'm coming to Venice... ' 

Sent two hours ago. 

Son of a bitch. 

He was coming here. 

Normally, a message or call from Steve cheered me up. But those days were over now. I looked over at Y/N, still sleeping, a soft smile playing on her lips. 

Steve was coming. 

To get her. 

No. 

NO. 

I couldn't let him take her away from me. 

Absolutely not. 

I would tear his throat out with my bionic arm if I had to, but he wasn't getting anywhere near my Y/N. 

Not this time. 

He had his chance. 

He wasn't going to ruin this. 

But before I took any steps, I had to know what Y/N thought about it. 

"Doll, wake up. Wake up, please..."

"Bucky? What is it? Five more minutes..." she mumbled. 

"He's coming, doll..."

"Who's coming, Buck?" she asked, eyes still closed. 

"Steve. He knows we're here, Y/N..." 

Her eyes shot open. 

I handed her her phone and she quietly went through all the messages. 

When she was done, she sat up. 

"What do you want to do?" I asked her, afraid of her answer. 

Afraid that she was going to wait. 

Afraid that she was going to go back to Steve. 

She placed her hand on mine. 

"Let's go. I don't want to see his face. Let's leave, Buck..." 

I sighed in relief. She noticed it. 

"I want you, James. I want to be with you now, only you..." she said. 

I grinned at her, before leaning in to kiss her. 

"Come on, doll. Time to leave..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like this chapter? And Bucky? Your thoughts about his and reader's relationship?


	58. Silly Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a normal day in the life of Bucky and the reader.

Reader POV 

"James, what's wrong?" I asked him. He had his bionic fingers on his right shoulder, trying to massage a spot on his back. But he couldn't seem to reach it. 

We had just settled in our hotel room.   
Currently we were in Barcelona, don't ask. Bucky was craving a bit of sun. And I loved beaches. So that was that.   
We had taken the first flight out. Bucky was desperately hoping for a direct flight, but we got a connecting one, much to his chagrin. Our former assassin wasn't a fan of commercial airlines, as it turned out. They really hankered him. 

"Nothing, serious, doll. I think I've got a muscle catch in my back", he said, rolling his shoulders. 

"You see? Senior citizens really should be careful on flights," I said, chuckling quietly. Quick as a cat, Bucky threw a cushion at me. But I dodged it. 

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Not as clumsy as we were once, huh, doll?" 

I tossed my hair over my shoulder. "Are you sure you don't have a slip disc, old man?" I teased. 

"Oh, c'mere, I'll show you how old I am," he said, making a move to catch me, but I ran.   
Laughing, he chased me, through our hotel room. 

I ran around the bedroom, before he caught me and started tickling me. 

"Bucky! Stop!" I giggled, doubling over. 

He didn't. I tried swatting his hands away, but it didn't work. 

"Oh, not a chance in hell, doll!" he said, laughing, his eyes crinkled at the corners. 

He tickled me until I was gasping for air, lying on the floor. 

"You should see your face. Its red, doll," Bucky laughed and I swatted him on the arm. 

"Ow!" 

Yep. I hit his left arm, like the idiot I am.

I clutched at my hand in pain while Bucky howled with laughter. 

"Seriously, doll. You should know better!" he laughed. 

I smiled. It was so good to see him laugh. 

The sound of his laughter made me forget everything. 

It made my heart beat a little faster, each time he laughed. 

And knowing the fact that I was the cause of his smile made me so, so happy. 

There was no other way to describe it. 

He had noticed that I was staring. 

"What?" he asked, still smiling. 

"I, just. I love it when you smile, James..." I sighed. God, I was a hopeless romantic. 

He just grinned and ruffled my hair with his metal hand. 

"Hey!" I shrieked, trying to get away. 

Instead he pulled me into his arms, for the tightest, warmest bear hug ever. 

I hugged him right back. 

After a few long minutes, he pulled away and kissed the top of my head. 

"You are the best thing that's happened to me, Y/N. Please don't leave me. Ever." 

I kissed him, before kissing the tip of his nose. 

"Silly boy. I'm never leaving you. Ever. And that's a promise..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've tried to show you another side of their relationship in this chapter. A teasing, playful side. Without Steve. Did you like it?   
> To be very honest, I want Reader to be with Bucky. And I'm going to trouble Steve as much as I can. Finding them won't be so easy for him!   
> Please comment, loves.  
> I love reading your views!!!


	59. Will You?

Reader POV

We've had quite a few blissful days in Barcelona. Going swimming, long walks on beaches. Bucky draws a few strange looks when he's walking beside me at the beach, wearing a long sleeved sweatshirt and glove (on his left hand) in the sweltering Spanish sun.   
He's still conscious about his metal arm. I've tried to persuade him to let his arm show in public. But he's been quite adamant.   
Other than that, things have been quite great. I've been chatting with our team members, especially with Wanda, Tony and Bruce. Oh, and Nat. We've all been in touch.   
No one has mentioned Steve. And I haven't asked. I couldn't care less about him.   
He's almost nonexistent to me, to be honest. Bucky has made me forget the pain, just like he had promised.   
I hadn't realized that I was capable of loving someone as much as I love James.   
He has become a part of me now. I need and crave and want him more than ever now. Its intoxicating, being in love with him...

It was a full moon tonight, and the wind was pleasantly cool. It was a beautiful night. But Bucky wasn't here. He had gone out, to 'run some errands', as he'd put it.   
I was contemplating a swim, before the door swung open. 

"Hey, doll." 

"Bucky! Where were you?" I asked as he walked in, shutting the door behind him. 

"Oh, just, here and there. Here and there," he replied, trying so very hard to lie to me. 

"James?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.   
"Where were you? I've been waiting, worried sick an-"   
His lips silenced me in a kiss. It was a deep, passionate kiss. His hands were in my hair and around my waist, holding me close.   
I could never resist him and despite my worry and annoyance about his absence, I kissed him back. 

A few moments later, he pulled away and I sighed. He had a full blown grin on his face. What was he thinking? 

Before I could blink, he was kneeling down on one knee in front of me. 

Wait, hold on a second... 

He reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out a small black velvet box. 

Oh my god. 

"Y/N, you are the best thing that has happened to me in my life, there is no doubt about it..." he began, looking up at me, love shining in his crystal blue eyes. 

I couldn't breathe. 

"After all that we've been through, I've realized one thing. I don't want to lose you. I won't be able to bear the thought of losing you..." he said. 

My heart was racing and I could hear my blood pounding in my veins. 

"Will you let me love you, cherish you and protect you for as long as we live? Will you marry me, Y/N?" he asked. 

I felt as if someone had knocked out the air from my lungs. He opened the box and inside was a simple ring. A band of white gold with a diamond encrusted in. 

I almost forgot how to speak. I didn't know what to say. 

But I looked at his face, his wide, expectant eyes and I knew my answer. 

"Yes. Yes. Yes!" I said, my voice high pitched. Tears fell down my eyes and I flung my arms around him. I heard him exhale in relief and he chuckled quietly, before taking my hand and placing the ring on my finger. 

"I love you, James..." I whispered between kisses, tears streaming down my cheeks. 

"I love you, doll..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? What do you think?


	60. So Beautiful (Golden Blonde)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Bucky make love after their engagement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read CAREFULLY!  
> Till the very end...

As soon as he'd slipped the ring on my finger, he pulled me to him for a kiss. 

We kissed deeply, passionately. My fingers threading through his hair, his hands working to free me from my clothes. 

I was gasping when we broke apart, smiling at him. I still couldn't believe it! Bucky had asked me to marry him! 

I kissed him again, nipping at his bottom lip, drawing a growl from him. Guiding us to the bed as we kissed, I pulled away yet again and lay down on the bed before him.  
The cool sheets felt so good against my naked skin. But they were nothing compared to the pure hunger in Bucky's eyes as they roamed over every inch of my body. 

"Come here, James..."  
I reached out to him with a hand. 

He grinned and made a show of stripping out of his clothes before joining me in bed. 

"You're so beautiful, doll..." he whispered into my ear, hands cupping my breasts tenderly. I arched into his touches, losing my mind when his bionic fingers slipped into me. 

"Bucky..." I gasped, closing my eyes. 

He teased me. With his fingers and his mouth. Until I was pleading for him to take me. 

Lacing his fingers in mine, he pinned my hands on either side of my head. Keeping his eyes on mine, he held me down with his body pressed firmly against mine as he finally plunged into me. Entirely. 

I sighed in pure relief, my head falling back against the pillows. 

He set a slow, sensual rhythm, his thrusts full and deep. He plunged and withdrew. Over and over. Rotating his hips. Letting me feel his hard, thick length. The way my inner walls hugged at him. 

He lavished me with kisses. Biting into my bottom lip. Leaving open mouthed kisses down my neck. Suckling at my nipples until they had turned into painful peaks. 

He built the pleasure slowly. I was delirious as he teased and worked me up till the finale. 

We came together. Writhing, moaning, panting. 

I was speechless when I finally returned from my high. It had to be the most powerful peak I'd ever had. 

We collapsed onto the bed, our bodies sweaty and tangled. So completely spent. 

"I love you, Y/N. So much..." Bucky breathed against my neck. 

I stroked his back, marveling at the diamond on my left hand shimmering in the moonlight. 

I was so deliciously exhausted. 

"I love you too, James..." I sighed, kissing the top of his head and wrapping my arms around him. 

As I drifted off to sleep, my vision hazy, I caught a glimpse of an unmistakable glint of golden blonde hair through the window of our room.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? How was this chapter? And what did the Reader see?


	61. Confront

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was much awaited. I hope you like it!

Reader' POV 

"Y/N, Bucky, I'm so glad I found you-" Steve began. 

But before he had a chance to finish the sentence, Bucky had reached across the room in two strides, pulled Steve into the room through the window and shoved him against the wall with such force that I felt the walls shake. 

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, HUH?" Bucky roared. 

It took me a moment to assess the situation. Bucky, completely naked, had pinned a fully clothed and fully shocked Steve to the wall. I would have laughed at the scene unfolding before my eyes, if I hadn't been positively terrified by Bucky's aggression. 

"I had to s-see you both..." Steve sputtered through the choke hold Bucky had around his neck. 

I quickly slipped on a robe and rushed over to separate the two before anything drastic happened. 

"Bucky. Bucky! Leave him, please!" I said, tugging urgently at his shoulder. He complied and pulled back. Steve's eyes lingered for a moment on the ring on my left hand. 

Bucky walked off, muttering curses under his breath, slipping on a pair of sweatpants to make himself a bit more decent. 

"What do you want?" I asked, eyeing Steve coldly. 

Steve looked at me, his bright blue eyes filled with pain. Despite all that he had done and all that we had been through, I felt a pang of hurt. 

"You're...you're engaged?" he asked me softly. 

I sighed. 

"Yes, Steve. I'm engaged to James." 

"But...why?" he asked me. 

Anger suddenly flared up inside me. Why? Steve left Bucky and me for good. Slept with Sharon. Fooled around with her. Asked us to leave when we needed him the most. And when we were finally moving on, he showed up to ask me why I'd gotten engaged to Bucky? 

I slapped him. As hard as I could. 

"You show up here, after all is said and done. You said you wanted the Carter girl. You asked us to leave. And now you're asking me why I'm going to marry Bucky? You have some nerve, Steve!" I screamed angrily at him, shoving against his chest. 

Steve reached out and tried to touch my face when Bucky shot out his hand and stopped him. 

"Don't. Touch. Her. Steven." He warned. 

Steve sighed and stepped back, raising his hands in surrender. 

"Please, you have to let me explain..." he said. 

"There's nothing to be said, Steve. I doesn't mean anything anymore..." Bucky said. 

"Say what you will and leave us, Steve", I said. 

Steve looked at us and began. 

" Y/N, the day you were shot, when you lay bleeding on the floor, losing our children, it was the worst day of my life. I never felt so weak, so useless, so pathetic, so helpless. I had failed you. The same way I had failed to protect Bucky seventy years ago. I failed you..." he said. 

"I know I should have been there for you while you healed. I should have helped you recuperate. But somehow I convinced myself that leaving you was the only way I could keep you from harm. I wanted to keep you safe..." his voice broke at the end of the sentence, tears welling up in his blue eyes.

"And that's why you left? That is some twisted logic, punk", Bucky said. 

"And what about Sharon? Why did you involve her? You SLEPT with her!" I all but screamed. 

"Involving Sharon was a mistake. A huge mistake. But I...I knew that you and Bucky wouldn't leave easily. You loved me as much as I loved you. That's why I slept with her... I..." 

"You had to give us a reason to leave..." I finished the sentence for him, dumbstruck. 

He nodded. 

I was shocked. 

How could Steve do this? The always stable, loving, caring, sensitive, compassionate Steve I knew... How could he do something so...so...STUPID?

I felt like someone had knocked the air out of my lungs. Like someone had stabbed me with a cold knife. 

I couldn't breathe. 

"Why did you do this, Steve?" I gasped, hot tears rising in my eyes.

"You fucking idiot." Bucky growled. 

"I was stupid. I thought it was the only way. And when you both left, I realized the gravity of my mistake. I realized how much I needed you both. I love you both. You complete me... I cannot live without you both..." Steve said, tears now flowing freely down his cheeks. 

"We loved you too, Steve. So much..." I whispered, stroking his cheek, wiping away his tears. 

I felt Bucky tense up behind me. I knew exactly what he feared. 

"But you have to go now, Steve. I belong with James..." I murmured. 

"You should have just told us what you felt, Steve. We could have worked this out. There wasn't any need to create such a huge mess of it..." Bucky said, his voice a bit more sympathetic than before. 

Steve couldn't say anything. He wiped his tears on the back of his hand. 

Turning around, he walked to the door. 

"Before I leave, I just want to say that I'm sorry for everything that I've done. I love you both. And I won't be able to live without you..." 

He opened the door and left. 

I thought I heard his sob just as the door swung shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? What are your thoughts? Please comment and tell me how I should take the story forward...  
> I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU GUYS!


	62. I'm Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A peek into Steve's mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains certain emotional triggers.   
> YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Steve's POV 

I was distraught. I didn't know what to do. There had been only two situations in my life, similar to this: where I felt so utterly lost in this world. First, when I had lost my mother. And second, when I'd lost Bucky when he fell off that train. 

And now, I'd lost him again. My best friend. And Y/N. The love of my life. I know that I don't deserve to call her that anymore. After everything that I've done. 

But I feel so lost. So completely lost! I don't know what to do with my life anymore...

It has been about a fortnight since I last saw Y/N and Bucky. God, they looked so happy and in love. It made me insanely happy and immensely depressed at the same time, seeing them together like that. And they were going to get married now. 

I had always told Bucky, back when he'd just enlisted to the 107th, that the girl he'd end up marrying would be a really special one. She'd be one in a million. 

And Y/N was all that and more. 

I didn't deserve her. That was true. Especially after what I did. But that didn't stop me from wanting her.   
On the night when I had to leave for Washington, before I was to report at the SHIELD Triskelion HQ, I had bought a ring for Y/N. 

Bucky obviously hadn't been in the picture back then. I didn't even know that he was alive! I had reconciled myself to the fact of his demise and decided to move on. I wanted to marry Y/N. To get down on one knee and ask her for her hand in marriage. To watch her walk down the aisle in a white dress, her beautiful face radiant with joy. I wanted to have a home, somewhere on the countryside with her. To have and raise children with her. To have a family....

But I messed up. I fucking messed up! Life gave me a second chance at love. Life gave me back my best friend. And what did I do? I screwed it all up. 

I don't know whether I should laugh or cry. These past fifteen days have been hell for me. I've dumped my cellphone, god knows where. I've just been roaming the streets, sleeping on the footpaths or on park benches. I don't remember when was the last time I ate. Or shaved for that matter. Or slept. 

I look nothing like the Captain America the world knows. Perhaps its best that way. My love and my best friend, my only reasons for living, don't want me in their lives. I have no reason to live anymore. 

I only want forgiveness. And I want Y/N and Bucky back. 

I want things to go back to the way they were. But I don't think it will be possible now. 

I've been reliving, rewinding and recalling my memories of my time spent with Y/N and Bucky. Its all I have left now. Memories. 

I've written a letter. A final letter. Addressed to the two most important people in my life. I think I'll mail it today.   
Heaven knows if it will ever reach on time.   
But I need them to know. I cannot leave without telling them what I feel. 

Walking along the street, I have the letter in the right pocket of my hoodie. In the left hand pocket, I have a gun. 

I don't know if it will work. There is only one way to find out. 

I haven't been able to summon up the guts to go through with it. But maybe I'll be able to go through with it after I've mailed the letter. 

Till I can think of what to do next, I have Y/N's and Bucky's memories running through my mind as I roam the streets. 

I play each moment that I've spent with them through my mind. Reliving each moment...

And you know what? 

I could do this all day....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a Steve unlike we've ever seen before.   
> What do you think of this chapter? PLEASE COMMENT and let me know!


	63. We're Back!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Bucky are back in NYC. And the wedding planning is ON!!!!

Reader's POV: 

I'm so happy! I haven't been this happy in ages, to be honest. We're back in New York, Bucky and I.  
And the wedding planning is on in full swing. 

Tony has well and truly unleashed his inner party girl. He's taken over the plans for the wedding reception. And he's going into such detail, its extraordinary. Right from seating arrangements to table center pieces! I mean, who knew, right?  
And it really warms my heart, seeing how everyone has pitched in. 

Thor has promised that he'll be back to Midgard for the wedding. He's currently in Vanaheim, sorting out some political issues there.  
Clint and Lauren, along with the kids, have promised that they'll be there. I'll be so mad if any of the kids miss out. 

Maria, Rhodey, Sam, Bruce, Nat, Wanda, Pietro, Pepper, Daisy, Jemma, Fitz, Bobbi, Hunter, May will all be attending the reception. 

Currently, Nat is persuading an extremely distressed Bucky to try on a few options for tuxedos. He hates tuxes. 

"WHY DO I HAVE TO WEAR THIS? ITS HIDEOUS!" he's almost screaming. 

He has on a black classic tuxedo and his hair has been tied up into a loose messy bun at the nape of his neck. Honestly, he looks AMAZING. Hell, if he's standing at the end of the aisle looking like this, I'll be running headlong down the aisle to him, instead of walking gracefully and elegantly. He looks THAT good. 

Nat is rolling her eyes at Bucky's tantrum. 

"James Buchanan Barnes! Not only will you be wearing one of these suits that I've chosen for you, but you'll also shave and get your hair cut before the ceremony!" Nat shrieks out, sounding less like a lethal assassin and more like a grandmother. 

"Bloody hell..." Bucky mutters, shrugging off his jacket. 

"Y/N, can't we just elope? I mean, honestly, this whole wedding ceremony related madness is being blown out of proportion..." he grumbles. 

I know that he's not enjoying any of this one bit. He's a fan of keeping things on the down low. Honestly, he only wanted to get married in a simple ceremony, with none of the frills and fuss that Tony's arrangements promised. 

But the moment Bucky and I had walked into the Avengers Tower, hand in hand, upon our return, the girls had spotted my engagement ring and lost it. Yep, they'd gone berserk. There was lots of shrieking, screaming, hugging and kissing. And the news had spread like wildfire. Hell, by the next day, even Thor (who was in Asgard) had contacted us to congratulate us on our engagement. 

We'd pitched our idea of a simple, no frills wedding to Tony. And he straight up refused. 

"No way, Y/N. No way. You're one of the closest friends I have on this planet. I'm simply not going to take no for an answer. I'm taking over the wedding plans, you and Frosty don't have to worry about anything...." Tony had said, ruffling my hair, like he'd always done. 

I quickly surrendered before he resorted to downright emotional blackmail. 

"Tony, there's one more thing..." I began. 

"Yeah, tell me, kid." 

"I want you to be the one to give me away..." I said. 

Tony looked at me for a long moment, before pulling me into one of his trademark bear hugs. 

"Of course, Y/N, I'll give you away. Nothing would make me happier..." 

And then he sniffled. 

"Wait, Tony. Are you crying?" I asked, grinning. 

"Uh, no. Absolutely not, smarty pants. Its allergy season. Now, shoo! I have a wedding to plan..." 

And here we were. 

The wedding was a few days away. And I was feeling the nerves kick in. 

Pepper had gone in and gotten Bucky and me registered. The wedding gifts had already started pouring in. 

It was insane. It still hadn't hit me yet. I was marrying Bucky Barnes. James Buchanan Barnes. The love of my life. 

Yet somehow, in a corner of my mind, I couldn't get Steve out completely. As much as I tried. He was still there. Lurking. 

None of us had heard from him since we'd last seen him in Spain. We had mentioned this to Tony and Bruce and they'd told us not to worry. They'd said that maybe Steve needed some time alone. And they'd given him that privacy. 

Yet I knew for a fact that Tony was secretly conducting a surveillance, trying to find out Steve's whereabouts. I mean, he was Captain America, one of the Avengers. He couldn't just disappear. The team needed to keep and eye on him, in case of an emergency. I mean, alien armies, robots gone rogue and the ever present HYDRA still plagued the world. The world needed Avengers. 

All of them. 

Bucky and I had had a few conversations about Steve. He wondered if he'd been too hard on Steve. I assured him that he hadn't. 

Yet somehow, I couldn't shake off this lingering feeling in the back of my mind, even in the midst of this wedding planning, that something was wrong. Something felt off. 

"Hey, doll. I'm heading for a shower. Join me?" 

Bucky's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. 

I looked up and smiled at him. 

"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute. You carry on." 

He took off his shirt and tossed it at me, playfully. 

"Don't keep me waiting. Or I'll come back here and haul you in myself, doll..." he said, wiggling his brows suggestively. 

I laughed. 

"Go, James! I'll be there in a minute. Just need to sort through this mail..." I urged him, slipping on my glasses. 

Right. Mail. 

I'd been receiving some congratulatory mail, mostly from old friends and distant relatives. All apart from my usual selection of monthly bills and notices which I had neglected due to my disappearing act/impromptu vacation with James. 

Nothing to bring you back to reality like monthly bills, huh?

Sighing, I began to sort through them, reading them, one by one. 

Until I reached a small white envelope, the handwriting on which made my heart lurch. 

Steve. 

It had to be him. 

The handwriting was unmistakable. 

My hands began to shake as I tried to open the letter. 

What was he writing about? 

There was only one way to find out. 

"Y/N, are you coming?" Bucky called out from the bathroom. 

"Y-Yeah, James! I- I'll be there in a second!" 

With sweaty palms and shaking fingers, I opened the letter, my heart pounding in my chest. 

And then I began to read...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and let me know how you liked this chapter! YOUR COMMENTS GIVE ME LIFE!


	64. The Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The contents of the letter Steve wrote to Bucky and the Reader.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FEELS AHEAD!

Dearest Y/N and James, 

I know the last thing you both want right now is to hear from me. I can see that you've both moved on and I'm happy for you. Honestly. 

I ruined everything that we had. I made a wrong choice. You were right, Buck, I should have come and just talked to you both about how I felt. Distancing myself from you both was an impulsive and immature decision. In my delusional mind, I thought that I was doing 'the right thing.' 

I've lost what we had. You've moved on. And I truly respect that. I'm very happy for you both. 

Y/N, please take care of James. He truly loves you. More than I ever could. Please stay by his side, always. Hold his hand, guide him when he needs it. 

Buck, promise me that you'll protect Y/N and keep her from harm. Don't leave her. Ever. She's very precious to me. 

I've been doing less than okay so far, to be honest. I know that I should be mature and face the consequences of my choices. Its the grown up thing to do, right? 

But I don't think I'll be able to carry on much longer. The pain I feel is all consuming. Suffocating.   
It feels like something is throttling me. 

I will always cherish the times we spent together. You both mean the world to me.   
I loved you, love you and will always love you both. 

I can't live like this anymore. As much as it hurts, I have to let you go. I can't carry on this pain and I won't carry on any longer. 

This is probably the last time you'll ever hear from me. 

I'll love you both. Forever. 

See you at the end of the line. 

With love,   
Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, for those who are expecting Super Soldiers to end, it won't be happening anytime soon. I've got some twists planned for you guys!   
> Cheers!


	65. Steve...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite possibly the most controversial chapter so far.

Reader POV: 

Hysterical. Inconsolable. Anxious. Worried. 

All these adjectives could very well be used to describe me as I sat in my seat in the Quinjet. Bucky was flying the plane as we were making our way to Barcelona. We had to get Steve. 

Tony and Bruce, being the absolute geniuses that they are, had managed to track down Steve's whereabouts. He was currently holed up in an under construction building, somewhere in the suburbs of Barcelona. 

I was just praying and hoping desperately that he wouldn't do something stupid. 

As soon as I'd finished reading the letter, I'd pulled Bucky out of his shower, showed him the letter and made our way to Tony's lab. 

Tony had called an emergency meeting of the Avengers and we'd all put out heads together, trying to locate Steve. 

"That little shit", Bucky grumbled, switching the plane to auto pilot.   
"I'm gonna kill him. When I find him, I'm gonna beat some sense into his righteous, golden head." 

"Bucky, stop." I sighed, rubbing my eyes. 

My eyes were puffy and swollen, from all the hysterical crying that I'd done. My nails had been chewed off almost entirely out of worry. 

Bucky, to his credit, had kept his head cool throughout. Well, he was a soldier after all. He was used to high tension situations during missions. 

"Bucky, what if he does something? What if he's already done something?" I asked, my voice high pitched. I feared the worst.   
I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to Steve. I just couldn't... 

Fresh tears sprang into my eyes. 

"Y/N?" Bucky asked, alarmed. 

"Is this my fault, James?" I asked, my voice cracking. 

"No, Y/N-" 

"Did we drive him to this? I mean, Steve was never like this, was he? We shouldn't have left him alone, James- I-" 

I began to sob uncontrollably, burying my face into my hands. 

I felt Bucky kneel down in front of me. He gently pulled my hands away from my face.   
"Y/N. Look at me, please..." he whispered. 

I did. 

"I know you love him. Deep down inside, as much as you try to push it away, as much as you try to deny it, you love him. You know how I know it? Because I love him too..." he spoke. 

"To me, he'll always be that scrawny, skinny punk from Brooklyn who liked getting beat up in alleys. That tiny jerk who I used to protect from bullies. The kid who I spent my childhood with. Just like you, I cannot imagine a world without Steve." he said, looking straight into my eyes. 

"What is done, is done. We can't change it. But we'll bring him home, okay? We'll bring him home..." Bucky whispered, giving my hands a reassuring squeeze. 

I sighed. 

"Thank you so much, James..." I breathed, leaning in to kiss him. 

He wiped my tears away when we broke apart. 

We stared at each other for a long moment, before FRIDAY's cool voice interrupted us. 

"We'll be arriving in two minutes, Miss. Y/N, Mr. Barnes. I've located a clearing closest to the building where Captain Rogers is said to be. Shall I prepare for landing there?" Tony's AI asked. 

"Yes. Do that, FRIDAY," Bucky replied. 

We switched the plane to stealth mode and left the plane just seconds after it landed. 

My heart was pounding in my head as Bucky and I broke into a run, across the yard. 

The building was about four storey tall, still under construction. It was located in quite an isolated spot, nowhere near the city's hustle and bustle. 

The building looked especially eerie in the night sky. Dark and desolate. 

"Steve!" I called out, scanning the ground floor. 

No reply. 

"Let's go to the next floor", Bucky said. 

Racing up the stairs, we called out for him again, flashing our torches in the darkness. 

Still no response. 

I could see worry working its way into Bucky's calm and collected composure. 

"Where is he?" he asked, frustrated. 

"Let's check the next floor..." I suggested, bounding up to the staircase. 

The air was cold and there wasn't a sound to be heard, other than our footsteps and voices. 

"Steve! Steve, where are y-" 

My voice caught in my throat. 

There was something lying on the floor, a few feet away from me. 

With shaking hands I flashed the torchlight on to it, and- 

My heart stopped.

"STEVE!!!!" I screamed. 

It was him. There was no mistaking it. 

He was lying there on the floor. Wearing jeans and a blue hoodie, which was stained in his blood, which was weeping from multiple gunshot wounds....

I screamed again. 

I barely noticed Bucky bounding up the stairs. 

"Y/N! What is-" 

I dropped to my knees beside him, tears blurring my eyes. 

I looked at his face. His face was gaunt, unshaven. His eyes had dark shadows around them. 

His eyes. His eyes- 

His crystal blue eyes, devoid of any light or life, stared ahead blankly. Unseeing. 

He had a gun in his left hand. 

No. 

NO. 

"Steve? Steve...? Steve!" I called out, trying to shake him. 

"Shit..." Bucky breathed, dropping down on his knees beside me. 

"Steve, wake up. You can't leave me like this. Steve!" I cried, tears falling down my cheeks onto his face. 

I grasped his hand. It felt so cold. So cold... 

And it had no pulse. 

No. 

NO. 

I refused to believe it. 

It couldn't be. 

He couldn't be-

I heard Bucky sob softly beside me. 

I turned to him. 

"I did this. Its my fault...." I gasped, feeling panic and hysteria set in. 

"No, Y/N. No, you didn't..." he began. 

But I had tuned him out. 

It WAS my fault. 

Steve was gone. 

Gone. 

I had no reason to live. 

I had done this. 

I had- 

With an anguished scream, I broke into a sprint. I wanted to fling myself from the building. That was the only thing I could think of. I had done this. I had to end this. I- 

Bucky's metal arm caught me around the waist. 

He whirled me around to face him. 

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, HUH?" he roared. 

"Its my fault! Steve is dead! James, let me go. Please..." I cried out. 

Bucky did not give up his hold on me. Instead he pulled me into his arms. 

"You stupid girl. I'm not letting you go. Ever..." he breathed into my hair. 

We held onto each other, crying.

Bucky wept silently. I buried my face into his neck, letting out loud, wracking, shuddering sobs. 

"Frosty, what's the status? Did you find him?" Tony's voice broke the silence, through the radio. 

"Steve's gone, Tony. And Y/N just tried to jump off the building..." Bucky stated, as calmly as he could. 

There was a long, shocked silence over the radio. Then Bruce spoke...

"James, tranquilize her. Immediately. Then return to the Tower...with Steve...."

"No. No! Bruce, you can't do this!" I shrieked, struggling against Bucky's hold on me as he whipped out the injection. 

"It is for you own good, Y/N. Please..." Bucky said, his voice soothing. 

"No! No, you don't understand. I have to be with Steve. He'll wake up. You'll see..." 

I felt a sharp prick of the injection in my neck. 

"I'm sorry..." Bucky whispered. 

My vision began to swim. My eyelids turning heavy. 

No. 

I had to stay with Steve. 

Steve. 

"S-Steve..." I breathed, before darkness engulfed me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the end, I promise you. 
> 
>  
> 
> Also, let me know your thoughts in the comments!


	66. After The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of the events in chapter 65, from Bucky's point of view.  
> Enjoy!

Bucky POV: 

Its fucking unbelievable how quickly life can pull a one eighty on you. 

Honestly. I hadn't imagined this would happen. Not in my worst nightmare. Never. 

Today was supposed to be our wedding day. Y/N was supposed to meet me at the end of the aisle where we would become husband and wife. Till the end of our lives. 

Y/N was currently under strict psychiatric evaluation. She'd been isolated entirely. She had "suicidal tendencies" according to the shrinks who'd been treating her. 

Apparently she had attempted to kill herself twice in the three days since we had returned from Barcelona....with Steve's body. 

The doctors were keeping her under sedation, keeping her asleep. She was getting violent and self destructive whenever she woke up. 

It had been three days since I had last seen her. Or Steve for that matter. 

Steve's body had been shifted to an undisclosed location and no matter how much I begged or pleaded or threatened, they wouldn't let me know its whereabouts. It was standard Avengers 'protocol' apparently. 

Needless to say, I'm feeling very angry and confused. And frustrated. 

The rest of the team, to their credit, had been incredibly supportive. Thor and Tony have barely left my side since we landed back at the Avengers Tower. Bruce, Nat and Wanda are tending to Y/N.  
She is being kept in an isolated ward. Asleep. 

"James, please eat something. A glass of juice at least?" Pepper asked me, pulling me out of my thoughts. I declined, as politely as possible. 

"You need to eat something, Bucky. You need to keep your energy u-" Tony said.

"I DON'T WANT TO EAT ANYTHING! I WANT TO SEE Y/N! WHY THE FUCK WON'T YOU LET ME SEE HER!!!" I yelled before I could stop myself. 

"Brother James, please-" Thor began. 

"No, enough, Thor. I need to see her. Please. Please...." I felt angry tears stinging at my eyes. 

No. I wasn't going to cry. 

No. I had to be strong...

"Tony, let him see her, just once..." Pepper quietly implored him. 

"Would that I could, Pep. But I'll need Bruce's permission first," Tony said. 

"Ask him. Please. I'm begging you, Tony", I said, wiping away at my eyes. 

Tony nodded and silently made his way out of the dining area, leaving a tangible tension in his wake. 

Back when everything was okay, the dining area was always so full of life. All of us to have breakfast together every morning. Like a family. 

All that was gone now. 

I buried my face into my hands, trying to keep my composure. 

I heard footsteps approaching. 

Tony was standing in the doorway, Dr. Banner in front of him. 

"Bucky, we're bringing her out of her sedation. But you need to understand that she is unstable. Erratic.  
She's suffering from severe trauma. You need to be careful..." he said. 

"Okay. Okay. I'll be careful. Just please...let me see her..." 

Bruce nodded. 

He led me to the floor where Y/N was being kept. Wanda was standing right outside the door of her room. 

"She's been crying and screaming every time she's woken up. Last time they woke her, she broke a glass and tried to slash her wrists. She even scratched at her face..." Wanda's voice broke. 

I patted her on the shoulder. 

"Thank you for taking care of her, Wanda. I owe you," I said. 

She gave me a small smile. 

I walked into her room. 

There she was. Lying on her bed in the middle of the room, hooked to various machines that monitored her vitals. 

God. 

She looked so worn out. Pale, exhausted. Her face had turned gaunt, cheeks hollowed out. She had bruise like shadows under her eyes. 

Her wrists had been bandaged, where she'd tried to cut herself. 

I reached out and carefully stroked her cheek, minding the angry scratches her nails had left on her skin. 

I suddenly felt like I was all alone. Like I had lost everything in the world. 

Choking back my tears, I tried to gather myself. 

I leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead. 

"Come back to me. Please..." I breathed. 

"She dreams, you know?" Wanda whispered quietly, walking over to the other side of Y/N's bed. 

"What does she dream of?" I asked, holding Y/N's delicate hand in both of mine. 

"She dreams of you. And Steve. And two children. One with blonde hair and the other..." 

"...with brown hair. Yes. Our children," I finished before Wanda could. 

She nodded. 

It was so typical of Y/N. She was like a ray of sunshine. Keeping hope alive even in the darkest of hours. That's what I loved about her. 

I smiled. 

"Do you think she will be okay?" Wanda asked me quietly. 

"I think she will be. She needs to be. I need her..." I said, kissing her bruised hand.. 

Just then the door burst open and Clint walked in, a file in his hand. 

"Bucky. We just got the ballistics report from...from Steve's body. He was shot four times. The slugs were Soviet made. No rifling," he handed me the report. 

My heart almost stopped beating. 

I knew it. I had a hunch. And now it was confirmed.

"Steve didn't shoot himself..." I said. 

"No he didn't. He was shot..." Clint said. 

I knew it. My best friend couldn't do that to himself. 

And I was almost sure of who had done this to him. 

Soviet slugs. No rifling. 

There was no doubt. 

I had fucking USED these bullets when I was.... back when I was known as the Winter Soldier. 

It was HYDRA.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, did you like this one?


	67. Reawake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!

Reader's POV 

Waking up each morning seems like a dreaded task. I simply don't want to wake up. I just....can't. 

For a few glorious moments each morning, I forget everything that has happened. But the thoughts, the memories come crashing down on me and I can't help the tears that come after. 

Wanda comes into my room with a tray of food. But the smell of food makes my stomach turn. I ask her to take it away. 

She looks at me, stricken. 

"Y/N. You need to eat something. You're starving away. I can't see you like this. Please..." she says. 

I look up at her and I know my eyes are blank and lifeless. "Please, Wanda. I can't eat. I don't want to. Just...leave me." 

She sighs and takes the food away. She knows better. A few days ago when she had tried to force me to eat, I'd tossed the food tray aside violently.   
That episode had earned me a tranquilizer injection. 

When she leaves, I breathe a sigh of relief. I like being alone these days. Even when Bucky comes to see me, I turn rigid with apprehension. He says he wants me to go back to the way I was before. But how can I...? 

Steve....

Hot tears spring into my eyes and I feel like someone is stabbing at my heart with a cold knife. Just saying his name makes me want to hurt myself. Steve....

Every time I close my eyes, I remember him. His eyes, his smile, his warmth. He was a good man. So sweet. He did make a mistake. I wanted to forgive him. I really did... 

But I....

Oh, god. 

I take a deep, shuddering breath, clenching my fists as tears run down my eyes. I need to control myself before the hysteria takes over me completely. 

I...

Suddenly, the lights go off. 

Its pitch dark in my room in the hospital. And deathly quiet, too. 

"Hello? Is anyone here?" I ask, tentatively standing up from my bed, trying to find a source of light. 

But there is none. Its night outside. No moon. 

Just as my eyes are adjusting to the dark, I hear the door to my room open. There's a figure standing at the door, but I can't make out who it is without my glasses. 

I hope its Bruce. He always came to check on me around this time everyday. He...

Suddenly there's a whooshing sound and a crystal blue mist is surrounding me. 

I open my mouth to scream, but no sound comes out. 

Don't breathe, don't breathe, I tell myself.

But it is too late. 

I have inhaled it and I feel a strange sensation spreading through my body. 

I take a look at my fingertips and I can see that my hands are turning black and cracked. 

They're turning into stone. 

And its spreading, taking over my whole body.

With a jolt of fear I realize what the mist is...

Terrigen...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think of this chapter!


	68. Resurrection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who else is back?

Steve POV 

I opened my eyes to pure white brightness. Where am I? How did I get here? What happened? 

The last thing I remembered was blinding pain as I was shot....

Wait. Shot? 

My eyes grew accustomed to the bright light and I realized that I was in a hospital room, hooked to various machines that beeped and blinked and...

I tried to sit up, but a sudden pain gripped me in the abdomen and I groaned. 

I tried sitting up once again, making an attempt to ignore the pain, but gave out as my muscles protested. 

"Easy, Rogers," I heard a very familiar voice say. 

Looking up, I saw Nick Fury standing in the doorway. 

He walked in and I tried to sit up, but he put his hand on my shoulder, urging me to lie down. 

"You need to rest, Cap." 

He sat down in a chair next to my bed. 

"What happened?" I asked. 

"You were shot. In Barcelona. Multiple times. A bullet grazed your heart, Rogers. Your heart stopped. The doctors worked for hours, taking the bullets out of you during surgery. You were kept in a hyperbaric chamber to aid your recovery. Your increased metabolism has healed your wounds, but not entirely. You need to rest..." he said. 

"Who... Who did it?" I asked, my throat cracked and dry. 

Fury poured a glass of water and handed it to me. I gulped it down in one go. 

"Ballistics report suggests it was a HYDRA sniper who attacked you. We're trying to narrow down the potential suspects. The team is on it as we speak." 

I felt my hand clenched tight around the glass. 

"How's the team? Y/N? Bucky? How are they?" I asked. 

"Well, they have been told that you're dead," he said. 

Outraged, I opened my mouth to protest, but Fury kept talking. 

"It was for your own safety, Steve. We couldn't risk another HYDRA attack on you, not in this condition. Do you honestly think they wouldn't come back if they realized that they'd failed to finish the job?" 

"But you could have told Bucky and Y/N!!" I snapped. 

"No. We couldn't. We simply couldn't risk it. End of story," Fury said in a tone that meant it. 

I sighed. 

"How are they? Y/N and Bucky?" I asked him again. 

"Barnes is doing better out of the two. He's trying to keep it together, but he's obviously in mourning. Y/N is another story on the other hand..." 

I felt my heart stop. 

"Tell me. Tell me everything," I said. 

"Y/N was hysterical. Even suicidal. We sedated her and kept her under supervision because she was trying to harm herself. She was in the psychiatric facility when she was attacked..." 

"Attacked? She was attacked? What happened? How is she????" I asked my voice rising in alarm. 

"Calm down, Rogers. I'm speaking. Y/N was attacked with Terrigen mist. She was unconscious when we found her. Shards of Terrigen crystals all around her. We believe that she has undergone Terrigenesis. We can't say what effect it has had on her since she hasn't gained consciousness since then. She is alive, but she is in a comatose state since then. Barnes and the team are with her." 

I couldn't speak. It was all too much to process at once. Y/N had undergone Terrigenesis? And she had survived? She had Inhuman genes? 

"Terrigenesis?" I asked him. "So is it possible that she might have developed some....abilities?" 

"Its very much possible. But we won't know for sure until she wakes up," he said. 

So much had happened and I was stuck here in this hospital bed like an invalid. 

"When will I be discharged from here? I need to see her. I need to see everyone..." I said. 

"You will be free to leave in a few days, Rogers. Let your wounds heal. You've gone through a lot and-" 

"I can't wait for a few days, Fury. I want to be with Y/N. Just....give me a goddamned painkiller or something!" I almost yelled at the former Director of SHIELD. 

He looked at me for a long moment before he spoke.

"Alright, Rogers. I'll see what I can do," he said before walking to the door. 

"If your doctors could bring me back from the dead, they can damn well take care of this pain" I said. 

I thought I saw a hint of a smile of his face as he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave your comments, my loves! I love to hear from you!


	69. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky recieves an update about Y/N.

Bucky POV 

Goddamnit just wake up, Y/N!

I was sitting right outside her room, silently watching her sleep, while mentally screaming at her to wake up. 

I couldn't take it anymore. First Steve, now Y/N. 

It was just a matter of time before I lost whatever little bit of composure I have right now. 

Dr. Banner was in her room, with Stark. They were going over Y/N's medical reports, conversing quietly amongst themselves. 

Natasha was sitting next to me, her gaze fixed on Y/N. 

"When do you think she'll wake up?" I asked her softly. 

Even though my voice was barely above a whisper, Natasha jumped as if I had spoken to her through a megaphone. 

"I...I don't know, Bucky. This is the first time I'm seeing a case of Terrigenesis. I have no idea", she said, sounding almost as frustrated as I felt. 

I sighed. Well, we were all in the same boat. Totally clueless about the effects and repercussions of what had happened. 

"Do you know who attacked her? With the mist, I mean." I asked her again. 

She simply shook her head. 

"There was a power outage before Y/N was attacked. All basic security systems were disabled. We don't know who attacked her. But Clint is on it, as we speak. He's promised to let us know the moment he finds out anything", she said. 

Suddenly, her phone beeped loudly. 

Taking it out of her pocket, she glanced at the screen. Her eyes went back and forth as she read the message on her phone. 

"What is it?" I asked her. 

"The Maximoffs are on their way here. Wanda just texted me to tell me that they'll land here in about 10 minutes", she said, pocketing her phone. 

The Maximoffs and Vision had been sent on a mission to Mexico. Nothing major, just looking into a few possible black market arms suppliers. 

" I'm gonna go and wait for them. Give them an update about Y/N. I know Wanda is worried sick about her. Do you need something, Bucky? Coffee, anything?" she asked me. 

I shook my head. 

"No, no. You go ahead, Natasha. I'll just....stay here, I guess", I said, running a hand over my face. 

Natasha patted my shoulder and left silently. 

A few moments later, Tony and Bruce walked out of Y/N's room. 

"She's doing well, Frosty. Her vitals are normal...actually, better than normal. She's been stable for 24 hours. I think she'll be okay", Stark said. 

"Yeah, I agree with Tony. She's far stronger than we thought, Bucky. She should be out of this soon", Banner said. 

I sighed in relief. 

"Any idea about the effects the Terrigenesis might have on her?" I asked. 

Bruce answered. 

"Well, Y/N hasn't undergone any evident physical changes after Terrigenesis. I mean, we've examined her and she appears normal. Any effects that the mist might have had on her mind, we'll be able to find out only after she wakes up." 

I nodded. 

Of course. Y/N looked normal. Anyone could tell that. But she had survived Terrigenesis. This meant that she wasn't going to be the same as she had been before. Even as I looked at her, I could tell, something had changed. I couldn't put a finger on it. Y/N just... Something was different about her...

I heard the sound of fast approaching footsteps.  
Wanda and Pietro were walking towards us in the hallway, Vision floating an inch above the ground close behind them. 

"How is she?" Pietro asked as soon as she reached us. 

"She's fine. For now. We'll have to wait for her to wake up to know exactly how she-" Tony began, but Wanda interrupted him. 

"I can feel her", she said, staring at Y/N through the window. We all fell silent. 

"What did you say?" I asked her. 

Wanda placed her hand on the glass separating Y/N's room from us. 

"I can feel her. I can almost hear her, calling out to me. I can't explain it....but I can hear her voice in my mind", she said. 

Tony rolled his eyes. 

"Quit the melodrama, kid. We all know you can read minds!" he exclaimed. 

Wanda kept her eyes on Y/N and simply smiled. 

"No, Tony. This is different. I made no effort to get into Y/N's mind. Even as we were landing, I could feel a presence in my head. But I didn't know it was Y/N. With each step that I took, when I was getting here, that presence became stronger and stronger. I'm sure it is her...." Wanda said quietly. 

"So you mean Y/N has telepathic abilities?" Vision asked her. 

"Yes, I think so. And she's powerful, Viz. Much more stronger than me. Here she is, in a coma and I can feel her, inside my head", she said, sounding awed. 

"But how is it that only you can feel her and not anyone else?" I asked her. 

"I don't know. Maybe my powers make me more sensitive, more receptive to other telepaths?" she said, shrugging. 

"What do you feel? Coming from her, I mean", Banner asked. 

"Y/N has only just become aware of her powers subconsciously. She's in quite a state of distress mentally. She's turbulent. That is why she is seeking me out, perhaps. She's seeking me out because my powers are similar to hers..." Wanda said. 

I was relieved and angry and jealous at the same time. Relieved because Y/N was going to be okay. Angry and jealous because...why hadn't she sought me out? 

But most of all, I wanted her to know that she'd be okay. Just like she had told me when my nightmares and anxiety attacks were driving me insane. 

"Wanda. Just, please...tell her she'll be alright, okay? Tell her to come back. And tell her that we're all waiting for her. That I'm waiting for her..." I said. 

Wanda looked at me for a long moment, then nodded. 

"Can I go inside?" she asked, sounding very eager.  
"I've never been near anyone who's powers are similar to mine..." she said, sounding like a kid in a candy store. 

Despite all my worries, I found myself chuckling at her excitement. Tony, Pietro and Bruce laughed. Even Vision cracked a smile. 

"Yeah, sure, go ahead", I told her. 

Just as she went in and the door shut behind her, I heard the sound of Natasha's heels clicking frantically against the floor as she hurried over. 

I looked at her and she looked pale. Worried. Tensed. 

"What's wrong, Widow? You look like you've seen a ghost or something", Tony asked, grinning. 

She didn't smile. 

"Fury just arrived upstairs. He's waiting for you all in the conference room. He, uh, wanted to talk to you guys about something", she said, her voice sounding strained. 

"He's called us all? Why isn't he here? I mean, we have Y/N in a coma here, what could be more important than that?" I asked, raising my brows. 

She gave us a stare that could freeze hell over. 

"Trust me, you guys. This is important. Come, all of you. Now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give me some love in the comments!


	70. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve returns. The team reacts.

Steve POV 

I was sitting with Fury in the conference room, twiddling my thumbs nervously. 

"Relax, Cap. These people have seen worse. They'll be happy to see you", Fury said, taking a sip of water from the glass placed in front of him. 

I ran a hand down my face. 

"Its not the team I'm worried about. Its Y/N. And Bucky. I don't know how they'll handle it." 

Fury merely chuckled. 

"Remember the time you came to know that Barnes was back from the dead? You handled it relatively calmly, Cap. I think you can expect the same from him", he said. 

I shook my head. 

"No. This is Bucky. He's always been a hothead. You don't know him the way I do, Nick", I said. 

Fury shrugged.  
"Well, Cap, there's only one way to find out." 

Right on cue, we heard Hill's voice on the intercom. 

"Boss, the team is waiting outside the door. Shall I send them in?" she asked. 

Fury looked at me, silently asking for permission. 

I took in a deep breath. 

This was it. 

"Yeah, send them in", I said. 

A second later the door swung open. 

A pale faced and visibly nervous Natasha walked in and Bucky was right behind her. 

His eyes widened and he stopped in his tracks. 

"What the..?" he said, staring at me. 

"For God's sake, MOVE, Frosty! Let us see what's in there!" I heard Tony shout from outside the room. 

I raised my hand casually and waved at Bucky. 

"Hi, Buck..." 

"YOU MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH!!!" Bucky roared, moving faster than I had ever seen him. In a second he had me pushed up against the wall, breathing heavily, his hands clenched into fists, holding the front of my jacket. 

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, HUH? YOU WERE DEAD! WE SAW YOU! YOU DIED, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" he yelled, right in my face, anger burning wild in his eyes. 

"Let him go, Barnes. He'll explain", Fury said, his voice impeccably calm. 

Bucky glared at me for a long moment, before he let me go and drew back. 

Running a hand through his hair, he sank down on the nearest chair. 

"Explain", he said, his voice dripping with venom. 

I looked up at the rest of the team who were crowded around the wall nearest to the door, ready to bail out if Bucky lost it. 

Tony, Clint, Pietro, Sam, Thor and Bruce all wore expressions varying from surprise to complete shock. 

"Hey, guys..." I said. 

No answer came from them. 

I heard Bucky snapping his fingers loudly. 

"I asked you something. Fucking explain yourself!" he said. 

"Bucky, please. Don't use this kind of language-" I began. 

"FUCKING HELL, STEVEN! WE TRAVELLED TO BARCELONA, DRIVEN MAD OUT OF OUR WITS, TRYING TO FIND YOU AFTER THAT LETTER YOU SENT US! WE FOUND YOU SHOT AND DEAD AND Y/N ALMOST TRIED TO KILL HERSELF! AND NOW YOU TURN UP AND TELL ME TO MIND MY GODDAMNNED LANGUAGE? REALLY, STEVE? LANGUAGE?" he screamed, a vein throbbing in his forehead. 

"Jesus, Bucky. Calm down. Stop screaming like a drama queen", Natasha said, rolling her eyes. 

Bucky turned his wrath on her. 

"Widow, Widow, just shut up, okay? I've had enough drama from this punk since the World War, okay?" he said, pointing at me. 

I raised my hands in surrender. 

"I'm sorry Bucky. I really am. But could you please just calm down so that I can explain myself. Please don't shout, okay?" I said, trying to use my most soothing voice. 

"Yeah, quit the screaming, Frosty. I think I've burst my eardrums or something", Tony quipped. 

I looked at Tony, exasperated, while Bucky glared at him, seething. 

Finally, Bucky leaned back in his chair, seeming utterly exhausted and gestured for me to continue. 

I spoke.

The entire team listened to me with rapt attention. But my eyes never moved from Bucky's. 

I narrated the entire story. Fury helped explain why the team had been told that I was dead. 

When I finished, a heavy silence hung over the room. 

Before Thor suddenly came to me and pulled me into a hug. 

"For all its worth, I am extremely pleased to have you back, Steve!" he boomed, giving me a bear hug that knocked the wind out of me. And that's saying something. 

"The mighty Captain America! Back from the dead!" Clint cheered and a roar of laughter went up from everyone.  
Each member of the group hugged me and welcomed me back. Except for Bucky. 

He was staring at me with an ice cold expression, sitting firmly in his chair. 

The team eventually dispersed after a few more instructions from Fury about how we had to keep my return a secret amongst ourselves while we carried out the investigation regarding the attack HYDRA had conducted on me. 

Bucky and I remained in the room. 

He kept silent. Not speaking a word. Just staring at me. 

"How's Y/N?" I asked him. 

Those two words were what did it. 

His face crumpled instantly, worry and fear replacing the anger that had been there before. 

"I don't know, Steve. Wanda thinks Y/N has developed telepathic abilities from the Terrigenesis." 

I started at him in shock.

"How can she say that?" I asked. 

Bucky shrugged. 

"Wanda said something that Y/N was trying to communicate with her. Mentally." 

"Wait. So Y/N is trying to communicate with Wanda? In a coma?" I asked, my eyes widening. 

"Yeah. That's what she said." 

I tentatively placed a hand on Bucky's shoulder. I felt him stiffen at my touch. 

"Bucky, where is she? I need to see her. Please." 

He looked up at me for a long moment, before nodding. 

As he stood up and walked out, I followed him in, silence.

Suddenly, Bucky stopped and turned around. 

"Thor is right. After everything that has happened. Its really good to have you back, Steve", he said. 

I looked at him. He looked at me. 

I grinned. 

"Well, you came back from the dead, Buck. There's no reason I couldn't do any less, huh?" I said. 

A full blown smile appeared on his face. 

He chuckled. 

"You little punk", he said. 

"Zip it, jerk", I said. 

We hugged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, guys! I have exams. But I'm still going to try to write as much as I can. Enjoy this chapter! 
> 
> And don't forget to leave your comments, you know how much I love hearing from you all! Xx


	71. Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader wakes up...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me some comments about this chapter! I'm going to try to post more regularly from now on. I have NOT abandoned this work. 
> 
> Leave me some comments, you know they make my day!

Reader's POV 

Where am I? 

What happened? 

Why do I feel so.....different? 

The light felt bright, pushing against my eyelids, screaming at me to open my eyes. I tried. Once. Twice. 

My eyes fluttered open to the pure white decor of the hospital room I had been put in. I could hear the rhythmic beeping of the various instruments someone (possibly Simmons) had hooked me to. Looking around, I saw that there was a glass barrier separating my bed from the rest of the room. They've isolated me. Separated me. Like I'm infected with some sort of a hideous, infectious disease.

I've been quarantined. 

I felt a sudden rush of anger and almost immediately the glass of water that was sitting on my bedside table exploded. I raised my hands instinctively, to protect myself from the flying shards of glass. 

One of them cut my arm. I winced loudly, feeling the blood well out of the wound. What just happened? How did that glass just explode? Why am I feeling so different? 

Absently, I turned my arm over to examine the cut and as I was staring at the wound, blood seeping through it, the skin started mending itself. Within seconds, the wound healed itself and closed, on its own. I was shocked. Where my skin had been cut only moments ago, now remained a slight redness. And residual blood. 

I tried to wipe the blood with the sheets. Suddenly, the door opened. 

It was Wanda. 

She was holding a tray of food. A bowl of scrambled eggs, some toast, a glass of juice. She had a smile on her face. 

"Y/N. You're awake", she smiled, walking into the room and standing on the other side of the glass. She made her way to a panel on the side, punched in a password and the glass parted, allowing her in. 

She placed the tray of food on my bed, dodging the broken glass on the floor as she made her way to me. I had so many questions I wanted to ask her. 

What's wrong with me? 

How did that glass just explode? 

I was cut and my wound mended itself? 

Am I going to be okay? 

Where's Bucky? 

"Whoa, whoa, slow down there, Y/N. If you're going to fire all these questions at me, let me sit down first!" Wanda said, plopping down on the bed beside me. 

But I... I didn't say anything. I hadn't even opened my mouth yet! How did she know what I was thinking? 

She simply grinned at me and offered me the orange juice. 

I accepted the glass and suddenly it clicked. 

Of course. Wanda Maximoff was a telepath. How could I forget? 

She chuckled. 

"What's so funny?" I asked her. 

"I'm not the only telepath in this room, sweetie", she said. 

I almost choked on my juice. 

Wait. What? 

'Y/N, can you hear me?' I heard Wanda's voice. But she hasn't moved her lips. Her voice....was inside my head? 

'Y/N, can you hear me? Answer me...' her voice said. 

I nodded. 

She smiled.

'But how are you inside my head, Wanda?' I asked her, in my mind. 

I had always known that Wanda could read minds. But a proper spoken communication like this? I didn't know that she could do it...

She chuckled. 

'This is not me, Y/N. You're doing this...' I heard her in my mind. 

What? WHAT??? 

"Drink some of that juice, Y/N", Wanda said to me, her first actual spoken words since she had entered the room. 

I took a sip. 

"You underwent Terrigenesis, Y/N. Somebody attacked you with Terrigen mist and that triggered the Terrigenesis process. You have acquired some abilities because of it", she said, her voice calm and collected. 

I stared at her, mute with shock. 

"You are a telepath. You can not only read minds of other people, but you can actually communicate with them. And not only are you a telepath, you can perform telekinesis. That glass that exploded? It was you. You can more objects with your mind."

It was too much to process. Wanda reached out and touched my hand. Turning my hand over in hers, she traced the angry redness where the glass had cut me. 

"You have also developed accelerated healing. That's why the cut on your hand healed so quickly," she said. 

I was shocked. Stunned. Unable to speak. 

I couldn't breathe. 

How was this possible? 

How? 

The bedframe started trembling beneath me. As did the bedside table. 

My breath was coming in short, quick bursts. 

Wanda's hands cupped my face. 

"Y/N, look at me. Breathe. Everything is going to be okay. Just breathe, please..." 

I felt tears running down my face. 

"Help me..." I gasped. 

The tray of food on my lap flew and crashed against the glass barrier. The plates and glass shattered and food flew everywhere. 

The bedside table rose up in the air, hovering for a moment before it too crashed into the glass barrier with such force that the wood splintered to pieces. 

"Y/N!" Wanda screamed and I looked at her, suddenly filled with pain. 

"Please, help me!" I shrieked, sobs wracking my body. 

The door burst open once again and Tony rushed in  
. 

"Y/N, please calm down..." he said, coming over to me. 

He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tight.  
"You're going to be alright, kid. I promise. Just breathe, okay? I'm here to help you. We're all here with you. Just relax..." he said, his voice soothing and soft while he stroked my hair. 

I held onto him like my life depended on it. He held me to him, whispering assurances till my sobs receded and my breathing evened out. 

When I was relatively calm, he pulled back and wiped my tear dampened cheeks. I felt drained. Like I had just run a few miles. 

"Are you okay?" Tony asked me. 

I nodded. 

"Just tired..." I said. 

He smiled and placed a kiss on my forehead. 

"C'mon, kid, let's get you away from this wreckage. I'm gonna get you some breakfast. Come with me..." he said, holding my hand and helping me up on my feet. 

As I slowly made my way out of the room, avoiding the shattered glass and broken wood, I realized a few things. 

Terrigenesis had left me with powers. Powers I didn't know the full extent of. Powers that could either heal or destroy. 

My life wasn't going to be the same any more.


	72. Remembrance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To mark my return to Super Soldiers, I've written this shamelessly smutty chapter. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter is a FLASHBACK, back when everything was alright and Steve, Bucky and the Reader were together. 
> 
> This is more of an outtake, with no relation to the previous chapter or subsequent chapters.

Reader's POV

I lay on my back on the bed, gasping. Bucky was on my right, Steve on my left. Despite the fact that they were super soldiers, I could hear their heavy breathing as they tried to catch their breaths. 

I closed my eyes, relishing the feeling of the soft, cool sheets against my hot, sweaty skin. The scent of sex was heavy in the air. The boys had just returned from a mission in Copenhagen. We had skipped the elaborate celebratory dinner Natasha had planned for us, bolting straight for the bedroom. The sex was rough and intense, just like the mission had been, I'm sure. I lost count of the hours we had been at it, but I was almost positive that the rest of the team could hear us, two floors up. My muscles were going to be so sore tomorrow and I could feel a delicious ache between my legs whenever I tried to move. 

"Are you okay, doll? Did we tire you out?" Bucky asked me quietly, a tinge of amusement in his voice. His metal hand caressed my thigh. 

I turned to him, moaning softly as the soreness between my legs made itself known with my movement. Looking him in the eyes I replied,   
"Seems to me that you two senior citizens are the ones who are tired, if your heavy breathing is something to go by..." 

Bucky chuckled and pulled me flush against him, hooking my leg over his hip. I could already feel him growing hard against my inner thigh. Steve came up behind me, pressing his chest to my back. Sweeping my hair away from my shoulder, he began to place soft kisses along my neck, while his hand found my breast. 

"I don't mind going again. What about you, Buck?" Steve asked, giving my nipple a pinch. 

Bucky cupped my cheek and kissed me. It was a searing kiss, hungry and passionate. 

When he drew back, I was gasping. 

"Who's breathing heavily now, huh, doll?" he grinned. 

Steve kissed his way to my shoulder, his hand creeping between my legs. He slipped two fingers into my swollen, sensitive folds. I moaned.   
I covered his hand with mine, guiding his fingers into me. 

"Fuck..." I moaned and Steve chuckled. 

"Yeah, now that you mention it, I don't think we've fucked you well enough, darling. What do you say, Buck?" he asked. 

I bit my lip at his words. 

"You know what, Stevie, you're absolutely right. We need to be more thorough..." Bucky said, kissing his way down my breasts. He sucked a nipple into his mouth and my head fell back against Steve's shoulder. His fingers curled inside me, while Bucky swirled his tongue over my nipple. 

"Boys...please..." I moaned, arching my back against Steve's chest, feeling his rock hard length against my ass. 

Bucky began to kiss his way down my body while Steve grasped my leg, pulling it behind, over his hip, spreading me open. 

Suddenly he withdrew his fingers, Bucky's mouth replacing them. His tongue slipped into me and he went for it like a starving man at a feast. 

"James..." I moaned, melting in Steve's strong arms. 

Bucky groaned and buried his face between my legs, working me vigorously while Steve held me open for him. I was already so sensitive, I knew I wouldn't last long. 

Steve kissed his way up my neck and whispered in my ear, in a voice as sinful as molten chocolate, "We won't have any mercy on you tonight, sweetheart. And that's a promise..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave your comments below, my loves! I love hearing from you! Xx


	73. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader meets Bucky. And Steve.

Reader's POV 

Tony guided me from my room to the floor that contained the communal kitchen/dining area in the Avengers Tower. I was greeted warmly by Natasha, Pietro and Clint. 

"I'm so glad you're back, Y/N!" Clint boomed and pulled me into a hug. 

Tony chuckled beside me. 

Natasha poked Clint and said, "Come on, Barton, let go of her. Let her eat something. Y/N, I'm making breakfast, what do you want?" 

The thought of food made my stomach roil. 

"Just a cup of coffee, Nat", I said, smiling slightly. 

I settled down into the nearest chair while Natasha handed me my coffee. I took a sip. The warm beverage felt fantastic. I finished my cup quickly and asked for another. 

"Well I'm glad that Terrigenesis hasn't screwed up your penchant for caffeine, kid", Tony said, grinning as he refilled my cup. 

I was so engrossed in listening to the others fill me in on the recent happenings that I didn't notice Bruce arrive. 

"Hey, Y/N, welcome back", he said, placing a kiss on my forehead. 

I turned to him and hugged him. Bruce and Tony were the reason I had started working at the Avengers Tower, so naturally I was closest to them, after Bucky and...Steve. 

I felt a lump in my throat rising just at the thought of him. 

"Where's Bucky?" I asked loudly. Everyone in the room froze almost as if I had doused them with cold water. 

"What's wrong?" I asked. "Is he alright?" 

A million worst case scenarios ran through my brain. Bruce placed a hand on my shoulder and said, "He's okay, Y/N. He's been holding up far better than we had expected." 

I breathed a sigh of relief. Thank God Bucky was alright. I was scared for him. 

"Then what's wrong? Where is he? Can I see him?" I asked hopefully. 

Since the moment I had woken up, I wanted to see Bucky...

"I know you want to see him, kid, but he's with..." Tony began, but was cut off with a look from Nat. 

"She needs to know, Natasha", Bruce implored. 

"Need to know what? What do I need to know? Who's Bucky with?" I asked, my voice rising with each word. 

Natasha sighed. 

"Y/N, you've just woken up. You need rest. Your powers are highly unstable. I don't think it is the right time to put you under further stress..." she said. 

I couldn't understand. They told me that Bucky was okay. But they wouldn't let me see him because if would stress me out? There was something they were not telling me...

"What are you hiding from me?" I asked all of them. 

My question was met with silence from the rest of the team. 

"Tony, please, is there something you're not telling me about Bucky?" I turned to him, tears of frustration welling up in my eyes. 

He looked torn. Taking my hands in his, he said, "Y/N, I don't think you're ready for this yet." 

I felt so tired all of a sudden. Tired of all the secrets and tired of being treated like a patient. I felt so....angry. 

"Tony. I swear to God, if you don't tell me what is going on this second, I'll-" 

The sofa in the sitting area rose up in the air, levitating a few feet off the floor. 

The team watched in amazement and Tony put his hands on my shoulder. 

"Alright, Y/N, just calm down okay? I'll call Frosty down here to meet you. But promise me that you'll try to stay calm." 

I nodded. Taking a few deep breaths, I tried to calm myself and the sofa settled down on the floor, back into its original spot. 

Tony walked out of the room, to call Bucky, I assumed. In the meantime, Bruce and Wanda began to talk about my powers. 

"See, Dr. Banner, I told you. She was a telekinetic as well as a telepath!" Wanda exclaimed. 

"Its fascinating..." Bruce mused. "I've never known of an individual possessing both telepathy and telekinesis simultaneously." 

"Do you think I'll be able to control my powers?" I asked them.

"With the right discipline and training, I'm sure you will be able to", he assured me. 

As I was chatting with the two, I didn't notice Tony return. 

He had a worried, almost anxious expression on his face. 

I laughed at his expression. 

"Tony, relax! Its just Bucky! I won't hurt him, I swe-" 

Tony stepped aside, revealing Bucky standing there, a nervous smile on his face. 

But he wasn't alone. 

Standing next to him was... 

I couldn't breathe. 

It couldn't be... 

He had died...

I had watched him die...

It was impossible...

My eyes went wide with disbelief. I was too stunned to speak. 

Steve stood beside Bucky, a bright smile on his face. 

Steve. 

It was like seeing a ghost...

He raised his hand in greeting and said, "Its so good to see you again, Y/N..." 

I opened my mouth, but no words came out... 

I felt faint. As if the world was spinning. 

I tried to take a step forward toward Steve and Bucky, but I stumbled.

The world went black...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me some comments people! How should Reader react to Steve's return? How should their relationship go from here? 
> 
> Also, I'm thinking of starting a Bruce Wayne centric fanfic. I mean, Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne is HOT!


	74. Reunion (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Giving a slight tribute to THAT SCENE from Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Reader's POV 

I opened my eyes slowly, realizing with relief that I was back in my own room. Thank god they hadn't put me back in that hospital bed. I don't know how I would hav- 

I look around, my eyes meeting a familiar pair of blue orbs, a head of gloriously golden hair...

"Steve...?" I ask, my voice cracking, strangely weak.   
"You're alive...?" I ask, feeling tears welling up in my eyes. 

He smiles. Its a half broken, half reassuring smile.   
"Yeah, Y/N", he says, reaching for my hand. 

"You came back?" I ask, still not believing that he was sitting here beside me. His hand found mine and I almost flinched at his all too familiar touch. 

"Its alright, Y/N. I'm here now..." he whispers, taking my hand in his. His hand feels so warm and strong, just like it always had. Like the sun...

"I watched you die. I watched you die!" I cry out, almost as if the wall I had built around my emotions had been demolished. Tears run down my face and I pull my hand out of his. 

"Y/N, please. I wanted to see you and Bucky the first thing and I-" 

I slapped him. 

Putting all my strength into it, I hit him hard across the face. 

Steve recoiled in shock and I was filled with a strange vindictive pleasure. I wanted to hurt Steve. I wanted to show him exactly how much pain he had left in his wake. 

I would have hit him again, and again, if a metal hand hadn't reached out and caught my wrist. 

"Let me go, James! Let me go right now!" I screamed, trying to get up off the bed. 

Bucky caught my arms and pinned me down to the bed. 

"Calm down, doll. Please, don't make this worse. Just relax. Please-" 

"WHY ARE YOU DEFENDING HIM, JAMES? AFTER ALL THAT HE DID? AFTER ALL THE PAIN HE CAUSED US? AFTER SHARON AND THE LETTER? AND US RUSHING TO BARCELONA ONLY TO FIND HIM DEAD?" I screamed. 

Bucky held me as I thrashed and screamed, angry tears running down my face. 

His blue eyes held a look of worry and concern. 

"Doll, please stop. You need to stop this right now or they'll come and pump you with sedatives to calm you. Do you want that?" Bucky asked me, his voice remarkably soothing. 

The talk of sedatives and putting me under caused some of my rage to subside, almost instantly. I didn't want to go through the ordeal of being "put to sleep" again. 

I quietened down, still seething. 

Bucky gave me a small smile, before letting go of his death grip on my wrists and helping me sit up. 

I looked at Steve. He was hurt and bewildered.   
Like a wounded puppy. His eyes were glistening. 

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm so sorry. I..." he said, his voice barely above a whisper. 

I didn't let him finish his sentence. I flung myself at him, wrapping my arms around him, tears streaming down my face as I finally let go of all the emotions I had bottled up inside me. 

I felt him go stiff for a moment, before he relaxed and his arms came around me. I shuddered at the familiar feeling of his strong arms around me, holding me securely. A sense of safety washed over me. 

"You fucking idiot, Steven Grant Rogers..." I sobbed, burying my face into his neck, inhaling his scent. 

"I'm never leaving you again, Y/N..." he whispered, stroking my hair, holding me close. 

We stayed like that for a long moment, till my sobs subsided. Steve placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. 

It was then that I realized that Steve hadn't shaved in quite a while. And honestly, that scruffy stubble suited him so much more. I was just about to tell him as much, when I heard Bucky speak quietly behind me. 

"I need a hug too, you know?" 

I looked at him and then at Steve and then the three of us burst into laughter. 

I pulled a laughing Bucky into a huge hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like this, loves? SO MANY FEELS. 
> 
> I'm of half a mind to end SS right here. But I also want Reader to explore her newfound powers and get down to kicking ass with the rest of the Avengers. What do you say? Should I continue?


	75. Recruit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve deals with his feelings while there is talk of a new entrant to the Avengers.

Steve POV 

My mother used to tell me that when life gives you a second chance, it was a sin not to reach out with both hands and take it. 

And as I looked at Y/N and Bucky, everyday, I realized how goddamn lucky I was to have them back in my life. 

It had been three weeks since Y/N had woken up to realize that I was back. After the initial shock, she had taken the whole thing quite well. I was back, sure, but I had chosen to keep a careful distance from Y/N and Bucky. Their relationship was flourishing. 

The engagement ring was back on Y/N's left hand. Bucky and Y/N had become inseparable once again and I could see how in love they were. He was there for her and as happy as it made me, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy each time I saw them together. 

Bucky had taken up responsibility of helping Y/N hone her newfound powers. Banner and Tony were having a field day, analyzing her powers, running various tests. Y/N had also taken up sparring and was being put through an intensive training regime, as was the protocol for enhanced Avengers-to-be. 

I was sitting on a bench in the training area, flexing my fingers, panting. I had been going particularly hard on the punching bags. I had already pummeled two quite thoroughly. 

The rest of the team members, especially the younger ones (Wanda and Pietro) had finished up with their training and left. Y/N and Bucky, after finishing up a session with Natasha and Clint had left, with Bucky muttering something about "taking a long, hot shower" in Y/N's ear. She had laughed and grabbed his hand, dragging him along as they left. 

I was trying my best to keep the look of venom off my face when they left. But as usual, Natasha noticed, giving me a knowing stare. 

Now, as I sat on the bench, drenched in sweat, panting, my knuckles feeling sore and three ruined punching bags lying at my feet, Natasha plopped down next to me. 

"Well, looks like somebody has a hatred for punching bags, huh?" she said, hastily pulling her sweaty red hair into a ponytail at the back of your head. 

"What do you mean, Nat?" I asked her, refusing to make eye contact with her. 

"You know exactly what I mean, Rogers! What the fuck is wrong with you? I thought everything was alright with you, Y/N and Bucky!" she exclaimed.

I sighed, wiping the sweat off my forehead. 

"You won't understand..." I muttered, hoping she'd realize from my tone what I didn't want to talk about it. 

"Yeah, you're right, I don't understand. You know it better, Steve and if you don't figure out what you want soon, it will start affecting the team's dynamics", she said, standing up and grabbing her hoodie off the bench before walking out, leaving a tense silence in her wake. 

I knew she was right. She always saw right through any situation. 

I had to tackle this situation head on. It was time to have a frank conversation with Y/N and Bucky. 

Just when I was about to get up and head over to their apartment, Wanda walked into the gym, Vision floating right behind her. 

"Steve, Fury has asked you to meet him. He wants to talk about a possible recruitment to the Avengers", she said. 

"Yeah, I've already submitted my report on Scott Lang to him, Wanda", I replied, distracted. 

I had to talk to Y/N and Bucky. 

"No, this is a different recruit, Steve", Wanda insisted. 

"Yeah? What's his name?" I asked, pulling off the protective bandages is had wrapped around my hands for my rounds on the punching bag. 

"Uh, Stephen Strange he's called, I think."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After putting out feelers about ending SS and recieving a pretty much unanimous vote, I've decided to continue the story. 
> 
> Leave me your thoughts on this chapter! Xx


	76. Strange As It Seems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, there's a new superhero in town!

Reader's POV 

Dammit Natasha! 

I was sitting on the backseat of the car, Wanda in the front seat beside Steve, who was driving. 

We were on our way to meet Doctor Strange, ex-neurosurgeon, who was also trained in the arts of magic. Apparently, he could manipulate reality itself. And he was proficient in various forms of martial arts. Whew! Initially, Fury had chosen Steve, Wanda and Natasha to go and speak to Strange about joining the Avengers. But Natasha, giving Steve a look, had given up her spot, sending me in her place.

I couldn't help but feel nervous at the prospect of meeting such a man, especially when I had only just begun to tap into my own powers. Wanda on the other hand, was very excited. Very. 

"I can't believe we are going to meet him, you know? I mean, we had heard a bit about Stephen Strange back in the day when HYDRA held Pietro and me. They were keeping tabs on him, you see. In fact, they had planned to eliminate him using Project Insight", Wanda spoke, her voice an octave higher than usual with excitement. 

Steve winced at the mention of Project Insight. It was on those helicarriers that he had to fight Bucky, who had been brainwashed by HYDRA.  
It brought back painful memories for him, understandably. 

Wanda, naturally did not notice Steve's discomfort and went on talking about Doctor Strange. It was starting to get a bit irritating, to be honest, but it was also amusing, seeing Wanda positively fangirl over this man we hadn't even met. 

Wanda's interest in Strange had caused a palpable jealousy in Vision, who had insisted that he accompany us for this first meeting. Fury had bluntly refused him and he was currently sulking somewhere in the Avengers Tower at the moment. 

Like Steve, I tuned Wanda's incessant chattering out and began focusing on my own thoughts. Why had the team sent me to recruit a new guy? I mean, I was fairly new myself! Inexperienced. Barely learning about my powers in the three short weeks I had trained with Bucky. 

Nervously, I began stroking the engagement ring on my finger, lost in my own thoughts. 

The vehicle stopped with a lurch, almost pushing Wanda into the windscreen. Thank God she was wearing a seat belt. Steve gave an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I'm still not used to this car. The brakes are so sensitive!" 

Wanda swatted his arm and I chuckled. We had arrived, it seemed. We were in the heart of New Greenwich. Strange's house was supposed to be on the corner of Bleecker Street. But as I looked up at the colossal architectural design in front of me, I realized that calling it a "house" was definitely an understatement. 

Wanda gasped.  
"The Sanctum Sanctorum..." she murmured, reverently. 

Steve rolled his eyes. "Come on, ladies. Let's go." 

He led the way, leading us to the front door which opened, on its own, as soon as we reached the threshold. Exchanging looks, we stepped in. 

We were in a hall of sorts, with multiple glass windows which ran throughout the length of the walls, sending the light right in. The room was furnished elegantly, but it seemed like we had stepped into another world. Mystical, old world. These were the words that came to mind. 

"Welcome", came a confident, deep male voice. We turned to see a man dressed in a blue tunic and a crimson cape walking towards us. He was tall, his personality imposing and dominant. Supremely confident. He walked toward us with sure, long strides and as he stepped into the light, I saw his face. His hair was dark, but it was greying at the temples. He had a beard, well kept, not shaggy and unruly. In fact, it made him look more handsome. But his piercing blue eyes were the center of my attention. His eyes were bright. Knowing. Filled with years of ancient knowledge and wisdom, it seemed. This man HAD to be Stephen Strange. 

"Doctor Strange! Its such an honour to meet you!" Wanda positively squeaked, stepping forward, hand extended. 

He shook her hand, a small, perfunctory smile appearing on his face. "Ah, yes. Wanda Maximoff. I've heard about you..." he spoke in his deep, rumbling voice, his eyes running over her, analyzing her. 

Honestly, I had expected Stephen Strange to be a much, much older man. He was far younger than what I had expected. 

Wanda's giggle pulled me away from my thoughts. She was still shaking Strange's hand, almost in a trance. 

Steve cleared his throat and stepped forward. "I'm Steve Rog-" 

"Yes, yes, I know who you are. Captain America. The Star Spangled Avenger", Strange said as he shook his hand. 

I could almost feel Steve turn red. I suppressed a smile. It wasn't everyday that Captain America got this flustered. 

Strange turned to me a genuine smile appearing on his face, making him look ten years younger. 

"And you must be Y/N..." he said, taking my hand in his. 

I almost flinched at the contact. His hand felt soft and warm, with calluses on his fingers. But more than that, I was drawn in by his unwavering blue gaze. Almost like he was staring into my soul. 

"I... I..." I stammered. 

"Telepathy and telekensis in one, yes. You have more power than you can possibly imagine, little one. I can see it in you...", he spoke, turning my hand over, bringing it to his lips and placing a soft kiss to it. His eyes never leaving mine. 

Steve cleared his throat once again. "Doctor, we've come here for your help. We need you to join the Av-" 

"The Avengers, yes," he spoke, gesturing dismissively at Steve, his gaze still burning into mine. 

I looked down, at my feet, unable to bear the intensity of his gaze. I could still feel him looking at me as he addressed Steve. 

"Come, Captain, let's talk. I would hate for you all to go back empty handed."

Steve glowered at him, but followed him to the living area anyway. 

"Come, Wanda, Y/N," Steve muttered, his voice resigned. 

We followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't wait to see Benedict Cumberbatch as Doctor Strange! 
> 
> Leave me some comments! Do you want to see more of Doctor Strange? How do you think his presence will affect Y/N, Steve, Bucky and the Avengers? Do you want Strange to train Y/N? 
> 
> Thoughts!


	77. Call Me Stephen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting interesting...

Reader's POV 

To say that Stephen Strange was fascinating, had to be the understatement of the year. He had shown us his Cloak of Levitation and the Eye of Agamotto that he wore. And he showed us the Book of Vishanti, the ultimate source of all White Magic. 

"The Book of Vishanti is the source of benevolent magic. It has a counterpart, Darkhold, which contains knowledge of Black Magic. The world of mysticism and occult is held in balance by the presence of these books," Stephen told us, as we sipped on tiny cups of tea in his living room. 

Wanda, as usual, was transfixed. Her gaze absolutely dripped devotion. It was so...weird watching her behave this way. But, if I had to be honest, Strange had definitely piqued my curiosity as well. The way he spoke about his journey from a gifted neurosurgeon to the car accident that had changed his life forever. He had lost the ability to move his hands, ruining his career as a surgeon. He had searched far and wide, all over the world, exhausting whatever money he had, in trying to find a treatment that would restore mobility of his hands. This led him to an ashram in the Himalayas, where he delved the world of occult, becoming the Doctor Strange he was today. 

I listened to his every word. It was hard not to. His personality was charismatic. Magnetic. I was inexplicably drawn to him. Maybe it was his deep baritone voice? Or the way his bright, clear blue eyes held my gaze as he spoke? I didn't know. 

But I could definitely note how uncomfortable Steve was in Stephen's presence. 

"Excuse me for a moment," Stephen said, standing up. He swept from the room without another word, his crimson cloak trailing behind him. 

"He's amazing..." Wanda sighed as soon as Strange was out of earshot. Steve scoffed. "He hasn't even said yes to joining the Avengers yet. Don't get your hopes up, Wanda," he said. 

I chose to stay out of this conversation. I sat in silence, fidgeting with my engagement ring. 

Brisk footsteps signalled Strange's return and Wanda and Steve immediately fell silent. 

"Well, I'm certain Fury didn't send you here just to hear about my cloak. I assume there is another reason for this visit, yes?" he asked, sitting down. 

"Yes, we want you to join the Avengers," Steve said, in his most commanding voice. 

Strange chuckled. "Want doesn't get..." he said, steepling his fingers as he looked at us. 

I sensed that Steve had touched a wrong nerve. 

"Uh, what Steve, uh, Captain Rogers, means that we are here to request you to join the Avengers. We need your help. The team would benefit greatly with your presence, Doctor," I spoke, my voice soft, trying to sound as polite as possible. 

Strange turned the full power of his gaze to me. It took all I had not to flinch under his intense gaze. He stared at me silently for a long moment.   
I could almost feel the gears turning inside his head. 

He inhaled deeply, leaning back.   
"I'd be delighted to help you all," he said, at last. 

I sighed, relieved. 

"It would be better if you moved into the Avengers Tower during the start of your traini-" Steve began, but Strange cut him off, yet again. 

"If you expect me to shift to that gaudy monstrosity you call the Avengers Tower, you're sorely mistaken, Captain. My place is here," he said, in a voice that signalled the end of discussion. 

Steve fell silent, seething. 

"Fine. We'll leave you to it then, Doctor," he said, standing up. This little meeting was at an end. 

Wanda and I stood up as well. 

"Thank you for seeing us, Doctor," Wanda said, reverence dripping from her voice. 

Strange gave a slight nod in her direction, standing up as well. 

"I'll... I'll get the car out..." Steve said and stormed off. 

Wanda left with him as well. 

I, too, turned to follow them both, but was stopped by Strange's hand grasping mine. 

I gasped at his touch. It sent an involuntary shiver down my spine. 

"Y-yes, Doctor?" I squeaked out, hating myself instantly for the way my voice sounded. 

He used my hand to turn me to face him. 

"You don't have any idea how rare it is for the two entities of telepathy and telekenesis to exist in one person. You're young, far too young to understand the power that is running through your veins at the moment. I want to help you discover it, lovely girl," he said, his hand gently tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear. 

I was stunned. 

"Th-Thank you, Doctor Strange..." I breathed. 

He smiled and I noticed his eyes crinkling at the corners. Smiling made him look so much younger. 

He leaned in and placed a kiss, which I'm sure was intended to fall on my cheek, but touched the very corner of my mouth. I felt a jolt of electricity at his touch. 

I could practically hear him smile as he pulled away. I exhaled, releasing the breath I had forgotten I was holding in. 

My heart was beating at a million miles an hour. I bit my lip and turned away. 

"Uh, Steve and Wanda will be waiting for me," I said, walking out, when his voice stopped me in my tracks once again. 

"One more thing, lovely girl..." he said, his deep, sultry voice making my heart beat faster. 

"Yes?" I asked. 

"Please, call me Stephen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if Doctor Strange seems a little OOC, I can't help it. That's exactly how I imagine Benedict playing him. 
> 
> And for all the Bucky/Steve/Reader shippers, please don't hate me! I just can't resist! 
> 
> Do let me know your thoughts here, what do you think about Reader/Strange? Yay or nay?


	78. Dear Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Steve talk it out

Steve's POV 

Wanda and I were sitting in the car, waiting for Y/N to arrive. Wanda had chosen to sit in the backseat for some reason. 

'Why is Y/N taking so long?' I thought to myself. 

Just then, I heard the car door open and Y/N entered the car, sitting in the passenger seat next to me. I looked at her. She seemed a bit flustered, with a deep pink blush coloring her cheeks. 

'God, I hope she hasn't transformed into another gushing Strange fangirl,' I found myself thinking as I started the car. 

We drove to the Tower in silence. Upon arrival, Fury requested a meeting with us where we briefed him about the situation with Strange. He was quite pleased to know that Doctor Strange would be joining the Avengers. 

Once the meeting had been dismissed, I decided to finally have a talk with Y/N. 

"Y/N, can I talk to you for a moment, please?" I asked her. She was gathering up her things from the conference room. 

She looked up at me and nodded. 

"Come with me," she said and I followed her. 

We headed to the recreation area and sat down on one of the couches on the floor. 

I sighed. 

This was it. 

"How are you doing, Y/N? I mean, really, tell me, how are you?" I asked her. 

She looked at me, her eyes strangely distant. 

"I'm fine, Steve. Yeah. Its all good. I'm trying to cope with my powers. And Bucky is great. He's helping me so much..." she trailed off. 

"Y/N, I want you to know that I'm truly, genuinely sorry for everything that I did. I was a complete idiot for messing up what the three of us had." 

"Its okay, Steve. Don't blame yourself. We all make mistakes," she told me, placing her hand on mine. 

It was now or never. I turned to face her. 

"Y/N, please, look at me," I told her. She did. 

"I love you, Y/N. And I love Bucky. I know the two of you have been keeping your distance from me ever since I returned, but...what I'm trying to say is.... I want to be with you. Again. With both of you..." I told her. 

She only smiled. But it wasn't the radiant, bright smile I had known and loved. It was a resigned, sad smile. 

"Steve," she said, taking my hand in hers. 

I almost knew what was coming. But I didn't want to believe it. 

"I can't.... I can't be with you...." she said, her voice barely above a whisper. 

"My powers, training, its taking a toll on me. I can't be with you. I just... I've stopped feeling way I used to about you. I don't know when it happened. But it just did. Somewhere along the way, those feeling just disappeared. I've thought a lot about it, Steve and I cannot lie to you. I just don't love you in that way anymore. I don't have that kind of love for you anymore. You will always be a dear friend to me, Steve. But I can't be with you. Not in that way. Please understand..." 

I felt a lump in my throat. 

I nodded. 

"I had an epiphany while listening to Stephen talk about his car crash and how he felt that his career, his life had ended because of it. I wanted to kill myself after the miscarriage, after you 'died'. I even made attempts to take my own life. But I couldn't. It was almost as if something, a higher power, was keeping me alive. Keeping me alive for a reason. And my powers are that reason, Steve. They've given me a sense of purpose. And honestly... I tried so hard to forgive you after you distanced yourself from me after the miscarriage. But I haven't been able to. Not entirely. There's still some bitterness in me, somewhere in a corner of my heart. I don't expect you to understand..."

I could understand. She had moved on. And she had bigger things to cope with.

"I understand..." I said, trying to keep my voice steady. 

"Steve, you will always be my friend. I don't want you to forget that. And I really hope that you find your happiness someday..." she said, placing a kiss on my cheek. 

"I love you, Y/N. Always have, always will," I said. 

"I know..." she whispered. 

I remained sitting on the couch, watching her as she grabbed her things and walked away. I had felt an inkling that this was coming. And after the shit I had put her through, it was completely understandable that she had decided to move on. 

I don't know how long I remained sitting on the couch, until FRIDAY's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. 

"Captain Rogers, you're late for your training session with Sam Wilson and Clint Barton," the AI reminded me. 

I stood up, running a hand through my hair. 

It was going to be tough, but I had to move on. Not only for myself, but for the love I still had for Y/N. 

"Yeah, FRIDAY, tell them I'll be there in five minutes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it is the end for Steve and Reader. What say you?


	79. Strange Meets James

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title says it all!

Reader's POV 

Two days after meeting Doctor Strange, Fury called me in one afternoon. Apparently, the Sorcerer Supreme wanted to meet me again. 

"He's asked you to go there alone, Y/N. He says he wants to begin training you. Take Barnes with you for the first meeting, if you like." 

I nodded and took off, going straight to Bucky and filling him in on these new developments. 

"Whoooo... 'Sorcerer Supreme', huh? Honestly, he sounds like a real schmuck to me, doll," Bucky said, laughing. 

I grinned and swatted his arm playfully. 

"Hey, be nice, okay?" I warned him. 

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be nice, doll. If this guy is going to be around to help you with your powers, I want to see him first." 

I nodded. 

"Come with me, meet him. You can stay for the duration of the session if you like!" I said, eagerly, putting on my boots. 

"Would that I could, doll. But I have a training session with Barton and Wilson. And you know how much I love kicking that little bird's feathery ass," Bucky said, putting on his jacket. 

"I'll drop you off, say hello to Strange and come back here. You call me when you're done, okay? I'll pick you up. We'll grab a pizza on our way back," he said. 

I pretended to swoon. "Post training pizza! Oh, James, you spoil me!" 

He grinned. "I try, doll. I try." 

We were on our way, chatting mindlessly. 

"Whoa..." was Bucky's reaction when we reached Bleecker Street. 

He was looking at the Sanctum Sanctorum with an expression that could only be described as awe. 

"The guy lives here? All by himself?" he asked me. 

"Yeah, Buck. I think he lives alone, but I'm not sure." 

We walked to the entrance of the Sanctum, where the ornate double doors opened, on their own, like the last time. 

"Ah, its so good to have you back, Y/N," came Stephen's deep voice from the other side of the room. 

He walked over to where we stood and he looked the same as ever. In fact, he looked quite handsome in the black tunic he was wearing. He had chosen to leave the crimson cloak out of his outfit today. 

"Hello, Doctor Strange. I would like to introduce you to James Barnes." 

Bucky stepped forward, hand extended. Strange shook Bucky's hand, greeting him warmly. 

"Of course, the famous Bucky Barnes. I've heard so many things about you." 

"You have?" Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Yes. How you were a brave young soldier who had the misfortune of falling into the hands of people who didn't have even the slightest respect for human life. What you went through, Barnes, is not something I would wish even on my worst enemies", Strange told him, his blue eyes gazing intently at Bucky. 

I could almost feel Bucky sigh in relief. I knew he had expected Strange to be someone who judged him about his past. But he had been wrong. 

"I always want you to remember this, Barnes, you are not a bad man. You are simply a good person, who bad things happened to," Strange said. 

I watched, stunned, as Bucky's body language changed from being defensive and apprehensive to that of relaxation. 

I turned to Bucky and gave him an 'I told you so' look. 

"Uh, thank you, Doctor Strange," Bucky said, sounding sincerely pleased. 

Stephen gave him a small smile. 

"Unfortunately, I have to return to the Tower, so I'll have to take your leave, Doctor. But I know now that Y/N is in good hands," Bucky told him. 

"Well, it was a pleasure meeting you, James Barnes," Stephen told him. 

Bucky nodded, turning around to leave. On the way out he looked at me, mouthing 'call me when you're done.' 

I felt light with relief. The meeting between Stephen and Bucky had gone quite well. Much better than that with Steve. 

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard Stephen's deep chuckle. 

"What?" I asked him. 

"You think too much, Y/N," he told me. 

I shrugged. 

Stephen held his hand out to me. 

"Come, we have lots to do, lovely girl," he said. 

I took his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think about my depiction of Strange? Am I doing him justice? Please leave me some feedback.   
> Xx


	80. Train

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader trains with Strange...

Reader's POV 

"What I am about to teach you, requires strength. You will be going through a turbulent time while I help you discover your abilities. You need to trust me, that I won't do anything that could harm you. Yes, you will get hurt and there will be pain. But that is how self discovery happens. You need to trust me, at all times. But above all, you need to have faith in yourself, darling. That is of utmost importance..." Stephen was telling me as we knelt on the floor before each other, facing each other. 

"Are you ready?" he asked me, taking my hand in his. 

I nodded. 

He smiled. 

"Show me what you can do..." he said. 

And I did. 

I showed Stephen what I had learnt so far, levitating objects, moving things from one place to another with my mind, even making a glass vase explode into pieces by directing all my mental energy toward it. 

Stephen watched. He watched intently, his blue eyes fixed on me, a small smile on his lips. 

When I was done, I was panting. 

I turned to him. 

He stayed silent for a long moment, his eyes on me. 

"Come here..." he beckoned me to him. 

I walked over and stood before him. He raised his hand and wiped a bead of sweat from my forehead. 

"There is a strength to you, Y/N, I can certainly see that. And for the short three weeks that you have been training, you're doing quite well. But that is only in the telekinesis department. What about telepathy? Have you tapped into that part of your energy yet?" he asked me. 

"No... I haven't tried it." 

He nodded. 

"Fine. Sit down with me." 

I did. 

We assumed our earlier position, kneeling on the floor. But we were closer to each other now. 

"Now, I want you to place your hands on either side of my head," he said, taking my hands in his and guiding them, placing them in a way that I was cradling his face. 

I tried to bite back the awkwardness I felt, how utterly ridiculous I felt, kneeling on the floor, cupping his face. I felt a slight heat rise in my cheeks, under his brilliant blue eyes, which simply refused to leave mine. 

"I am going to show you something, Y/N. Something inside my mind. You need to focus, darling. Direct your energy and look inside my mind. Don't let go, okay?" he said, his eyes softening. 

I nodded, taking in a deep breath. 

"On the count of three. One...two...three..." he said...

 

Suddenly, I was inside a car. It was night and I turned to see Stephen driving the car. He was wearing a tuxedo. Clean shaven. He looked young.

"Stephen?" I called out to him. But he continued to drive, as if he hadn't heard me. Like I wasn't even there...

Another car, speeding madly, suddenly hit Stephen's car. The cars collided with such force that Stephen lost control of the steering wheel....

The car flipped over... Once... Twice... Shard of broken glass flying everywhere... I remained uninjured... But the same couldn't be said to Stephen... I felt his pain... Like it was my own.... I wanted to scream... 

The car went into water... Whether it was a lake or a pond, I didn't know... Stephen was bleeding everywhere... It hurt... So much pain... I tried to reach out... Tried to free him from the car... To stop him from drowning... "Stephen!!!" I screamed. 

 

I gasped and in the blink of an eye, I was back on the floor of the Sanctum, my hands clutching Stephen's face. I wrenched my hands away from him, breathing heavily. The pain... It felt so real...

I looked up at him. He was panting. His gaze was admiration, mixed with pain. 

"What did you see, darling, tell me..." 

"Your accident..." I gasped. 

He nodded. 

I stayed silent for a moment as I tried to recover my composure. It was an absolute miracle that he had survived that terrible accident. Poor man, he went through so much pain... And I felt every bit of it...   
It reminded me so much of my miscarriage... When I had lost my twins...

Suddenly, I was unable to hold my tears back, I flung my arms around Stephen, embracing him.   
I could feel his body grow stiff. But a moment later, his arms wrapped around me, holding me close. 

"Its okay... Its okay... I'm here..." he said, his voice soothing as he ran a hand along my back. 

"It felt so real..." I sobbed, burying my face into his shoulder. 

"I know, darling. I know." 

We stayed like that for a long while, until my sobbing subsided. He held me through it, whispering soothing words. 

When I pulled away, I noticed that the palm of his right hand had a deep gash running through the center. He was bleeding. 

I gasped. 

"How did that happen?" I asked. 

He shook his head. 

"Its nothing, darling... I just... Cut my hand on that vase you shattered..." 

"I'm so sorry..." 

"Don't be. You're doing so well. And pain is part of self discovery, isn't it?" he told me. 

I nodded. 

"I'll just need to bandage it up. Don't worry, I'm still a doctor, after all..." he chuckled, standing up. 

"Wait!" I said, suddenly remembering. 

He turned around, a quizzical look on his face. 

I stood up. 

"I... I want to try something... If you don't mind?" I asked, hesitantly. 

"Sure," he said. 

Silently, I took his right hand in mine. Gingerly, I examined the cut. It was deep. Still weeping blood. 

Holding his hand in one hand, I placed my other hand on top of the wound. 

He winced. 

"Just a second..." I whispered. 

Closing my eyes, I directed all my energy into the palm of my hand, into his wound. 

He gasped. 

I pulled my hand away a moment later and silently watched as his wound sealed itself, the skin and flesh mending itself. 

"Fascinating..." he whispered, awed. 

I looked at his palm. Where moments ago there was a bleeding cut, now remained a slightly red, but healing scar. 

"Where did you learn this?" he asked me, his eyes curious, like that of a five year old boy. 

I shrugged. 

"I've been practicing some on my own..." 

For the first time since I had met him, Stephen Strange smiled at me. A real, open smile that radiated happiness. 

I felt a surge of pride. 

He leaned in a kissed my cheek. 

"Thank you, darling..." he whispered in my ear. 

"You're welcome." 

"Now, that's enough for now. Would you like some tea?" he asked, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. 

"Yes, please..." I replied, gratefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are your thoughts about Strange? Did you like this chapter? Where is it heading?


	81. Sleeping Arrangements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A closer look at Reader's life as she trains with Strange...

Reader's POV 

I was tired. So, so tired. Physically, mentally. 

I felt drained. 

Over the past two weeks, Stephen had been really putting me through my paces. In fact, for the past few days, I hadn't left the Sanctum at all. Bucky had given me a call that evening. 

"Hey, doll. Are you done? Shall I drop by and pick you up?" 

But I was so tired, I didn't think I would be able to make it through the commute to the Tower. 

"Uh, Bucky, if you don't mind, can I just stay here tonight? I'm so tired..." I sighed. 

He must've heard the exhaustion in my voice and readily agreed. 

I tried to talk to him for a few more minutes on the phone, but my speech began to turn incoherent with tiredness. 

I think I must have fallen asleep on the phone, listening to Bucky, because when I woke up, I wasn't lying down on the floor of the training room of the Sanctum. 

I was in a bed, warm and comfortable. The bedroom was quite beautifully decorated in deep, earthy tones. A pitcher of ice cold water sat on the bedside table, which I gulped down eagerly. 

As I made to get up from bed, I noticed that my shoes had been taken off, before I had been put into bed. Also, my phone sat on the bedside table, beside the pitcher of water I had just emptied.   
I also noticed that my hair, which I usually tied up into a bun, had been let loose, tumbling down my back. I sat up and walked out of the bedroom, hoping to find Stephen, to talk to him.   
I found the Sorcerer Supreme asleep on a couch in the living room area. He looked so peaceful as he slept, his usually perfect dark and grey hair tousled and messy. Serene. Undisturbed. I didn't want to wake him up.

I felt a sudden surge of affection for the man. It had to have been him who put me in bed.   
I went to him, covering him up with his comforter, which had fallen on the floor. 

As much as I tried to perform the task undetected, he woke up. 

"Y/N? What are you doing up?" he asked me, his eyes fluttering open, his voice sounding deeper than usual with sleep. 

"I... I just woke up, Stephen. Thank you for letting me sleep in your room," I said, placing my hand on top of his. 

"Oh, don't mention it, darling. Now, go back to sleep, okay? You need to rest." 

I did as he was told. 

And that was the pattern we fell into. Training all day. He would try to make me dinner, but his culinary skills were terrible, so I decided to cook. We'd eat and talk, after which I would insist on sleeping on the couch for the night. He'd vehemently refuse and insist that I take the bed. And I would always lose. 

Turns out, the Sanctum did have another bedroom, but that was where Stephen had kept all his books and weapons.   
"I'll need some time to shift those things to another room, if you don't mind," he had told me, apologetically. 

Despite this arrangement that we had gotten into, what struck me was that he was willing to vacate the other bedroom. For me. 

I had simply assumed that this arrangement would be temporary, you know, till I learned to master my powers. 

"Are you asking me to move in?" I asked the Sorcerer Supreme. 

His blue eyes went wide at my question. 

"Uh, the thing is, Y/N, I want you to be comfortable here. The training you're going through is not a joke, its definitely taking a toll on you, I can see that. So yeah, I wouldn't be averse to you sleeping here, once in a while. You know, when you're tired?" he rambled on, sounding rather like a child who had been caught stealing. 

"Okay," I told him. 

"Also, truth be told.... I rather enjoy your company, Y/N," he told me sheepishly, scratching his head. 

"Awwww..." I teased. 

He grinned. 

I grinned. 

"Well, truth be told, I rather enjoy your company too, Doctor Strange..." 

"So, you don't mind staying here?" he asked me. 

"Are you kidding? I love it here!" I exclaimed. 

"But what about your boyfriend? What does he think?" he asked me. 

I shrugged. 

"I'll have to talk to him about it..." I told him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Comment away!!!!


	82. Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One from Stephen's POV!

Strange's POV 

'Perhaps I was pushing her too hard?' I thought to myself, making my way to the training room of the Sanctum. 

Y/N had asked for a break from training, excusing herself, saying that she needed a few minutes to talk to her fiancé. She sounded quite tired, so I gave her a break, heading off to another room to give her some privacy. 

Her fiancé, James Barnes, was quite intimidating, physically. But he seemed like a nice person. I quite liked the man, on first impression. And what he had gone through during the World War and after it was no joke. He looked like a man who was trying to rebuild himself after the calamity and tragedy he had faced. And honestly, I quite admired it. 

Y/N herself was doing quite brilliantly. We had been practicing together, helping her harness her telepathic and telekinetic energies. But it was her ability to heal that took the most toll on her. I realized immediately that her own life force was responsible for her accelerated healing. She could heal herself, and others, yes. But it would drain her, tire her out.   
She used her life force, channeling it to heal. 

The moment she had walked into the Sanctum for the first time, I knew she had potential. I could see so many possibilities for her. She was young, she could learn. She could perform miracles. And I wanted to do anything to help her achieve her fullest potential. She could become a great asset to the Avengers, I could see that. And that's why I chose to train her myself. She had told me that she had undertaken some training with her fellow team members in the Avengers Tower. But I could tell that it wasn't enough. It wasn't even close to the kind of training she had to undergo in order to achieve maximum use out of her powers. That's where I chose to step in. 

Today was a tough day for her, to be sure. I was making her exercise her powers, pushing her as far as she could go. She did do everything I asked, but I could see that she was tired. That was when she meekly asked for a quick break.   
Looking at her sitting on the floor, gasping and sweaty, her hair slightly disheveled, I felt a surge of pity. She asked if she could be excused for a few minutes...

 

"Y/N, come on, darling. We have so much to do and-" I stopped mid-sentence as I walked into the training room, struck by the sight before me. 

Y/N was lying on the floor, on her side, facing me, her cell phone still in hand. 

I rushed over to her side, wondering if she had fainted. But she was asleep, snoring lightly, her breaths deep and even.

Suppressing a smile, I looked at her phone. She was still on call. She had fallen asleep while talking on the phone. 

I picked up the phone from her hand. "Hello?" 

"Hello? Who's this? Doctor Strange? Where's Y/N?" a frantic male voice asked me. I recognized that the voice belonged to her fiancé. 

"James, yes, it is me, Stephen Strange. Y/N is alright. She's just...fallen asleep." 

Silence on the other end. 

"I'm coming to pick her up," James finally spoke. 

I looked at Y/N. She looked so peaceful, poor girl. 

"Uh, James, why don't you let her stay here for the night? I'll put her up in my bedroom. And I'll....sleep on the couch." 

More silence. 

After a long moment, he spoke up. 

"Fine, but I'm coming to see her tomorrow morning, first thing." 

"Of course. I'll make sure she calls you as soon as she wakes up." 

"Okay." 

He hung up. 

I placed her phone in my pocket. 

Looking down at her, I could see that a strand of hair had escaped her impeccably tied bun and fallen across her face. 

I gently tucked it behind her ear. She mumbled something incoherent at my touch. 

I smiled. 

To be sure, it was her powers, her capabilities that attracted me to her in the first place. But it was her warm, loving personality that made me enjoy her company. She was a very intelligent, perceptive girl. I was thoroughly enjoying our conversations.   
She had a hint of playfulness and mischief to her, perhaps that came from her youth. But having been pretty much a loner ever since my return from the Himalayas, it felt good to find someone who I could open up to. 

I scooped her up in my arms and carried her to my bedroom. She was light as a feather, I found myself thinking. Like a fragile doll in my arms. 

I placed her on my bed and went to work, removing her shoes. Covering her up with a comforter, I gently freed her hair from their style, letting them flow. She mumbled something again as I ran my fingers through her hair. 

"Goodnight, little one," I whispered, placing a kiss on her forehead. Before leaving, I placed her phone and a jug of cold water on the bedside table. 

Taking one last look at her, I left her to rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are you liking the Reader/Strange relationship so far? Where can you see it go from here?


	83. One... Two... Three...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader goes to meet Bucky...

Reader's POV

'Think of your powers like a muscle, Y/N. The more you flex them, use them, the _stronger_ they'll become.'

Stephen's these words echoed in my mind as I made my way to the Avengers Tower. It was midnight, so instead of calling Bucky to come pick me up, I took a cab.

After undergoing the usual security protocol of voice recognition, retinal scan and finger print scan, FRIDAY finally granted me access to the living quarters of the Avengers Tower. I hurried straight to our floor, looking forward to taking a quick shower before curling up into bed with Bucky. I had assumed that he would be asleep because it was almost 1 AM.

But as soon as I opened the door to our apartment, there he was, sitting on the living room couch, remote in hand, watching TV.

"Doll! You're here!" he almost yelled.

Rushing over to me, he pulled me into a bear hug, whirling me around in a circle. I giggled at his enthusiasm.

"What are you doing here? I thought you'd be staying at the Sanctum!" he said, when he finally put me down.

"Yeah, I was going to sleep there, but I really wanted to see you, Bucky," I said, giving him a quick kiss.

"You should have _called_ me! You know I would have been there to pick you up!" he said.

"I know, I know. But it was midnight and you had mentioned this morning that you were going to have an 'epic' training session with Clint, Nat and the Maximoffs. So I assumed that you were..."

"What? Tired? Doll, is Strange messing with your mind? Have you forgotten that I'm a _super soldier?"_ he said, feigning shock and annoyance.

"Yeah, Strange is messing with my mind, but in the best way possible. I've learnt _so many_ things from him, Bucky! You should see the things I can do now!" I said.

"Yeah? Show me!" he exclaimed, his eyes bright with curiosity. He looked like a kid in a candy store.

I decided to tease him a bit more.

"Oh, Bucky, I've seen you after so long... Instead of showing you my powers, I'd rather be showing you something else..." I said, winking suggestively.

But he just chuckled.

"Nice try, doll. As much as I want to rip off your clothes and take you straight to bed, I want to see your powers first. Show me, _please?"_ he asked, pleading with his eyes.

I laughed.

"Okay, okay, come sit, I'll show you what I've learnt," I said.

We both sat down on the couch, facing each other, me cradling his head in my hands.

"I will look inside your mind, okay? If you want me to stop, just tell me. On the count of three. Are you ready?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Okay, then. One... Two... Three..."

A series of memories flashed before my eyes. Bucky and scrawny little Steve going on rides at Coney Island... Bucky showing up in his uniform, beating the bully troubling Steve in the alley into a pulp... Stark Expo... Double dates... Bucky meeting post serum Steve, who had come to save him and his comrades from a HYDRA camp... "Let's hear it for Captain America!" Bucky shouting, leading his fellow soldiers to cheer Steve...

I pulled my hands away from Bucky. He was looking at me, stunned, _awed._

"My God, doll. I didn't even know that I still _had_ these memories! Do it again!" he asked, more eager than before.

I hesitated.

"Bucky... I don't think I should..."

He grabbed my hands and placed them on his face, like they had been before.

"Do it, doll. Please? I want to see!" he said, making puppy eyes at me.

"Fine..." I said, reluctantly. "You ready?"

He nodded, excited.

"One... Two... Three..."

Bucky falling from a train... The snow... The cliffs... Pain... Arnim Zola... "You will be the new fist of HYDRA," he said... Bucky screaming... "Please don't cut my arm. No. No!!!" he cried out.... So much pain... Being frozen in a cryogenic chamber... Waking up... "This is your mission, soldier," a man showing him photographs of Howard and Maria Stark... Training other super soldiers... "The man on the bridge. I knew him," Bucky pleading... "Your work has been a gift to mankind. You shaped the century," Alexander Pierce telling him... "Wipe him," Pierce ordered the others... Electroshock therapy... Unbearable pain... "Mission report, soldier," Rumlow ordering him... Longing... Rusted... Seventeen... Daybreak... Furnace... "No, please," Bucky pleading... Nine... Benign... Homecoming...

 

"No... _NO!"_ Bucky yelled, his metal hand lashing out, slapping me across the face so hard that I fell to the ground. I cried out in pain, my hand clutching my cheek, which was stinging. I felt warm liquid seep through my fingers. _Blood._ His metal fingers had cut into my flesh. I looked at him.

He sat on the couch, breathing heavily, a wild look in his eyes. Like he wanted to hurt me.

"James?" I called him, hesitantly.

His expression changed suddenly at the sound of my voice. It was as if he came back to reality.

"I'm so sorry, doll..." he said, rushing to my side.

I recoiled from his touch, my cheek still stinging, but not bleeding any longer.

"Its okay, Bucky. Its okay..." I said, trying to console him, trying to console _myself._

Like with Stephen, I had felt Bucky's pain as vividly as it was my own. I had caused Bucky to lash out at me.

"I'm so sorry, Bucky..." I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes.

He saw my tears and made a move to reach me, to touch me. I flinched and retreated into a corner, huddling up.

"Its not your fault, doll..." he said.

It only made me sob harder. I brought my knees to my chest, curling up in the corner, crying into my hands.

"What can I do, Y/N?" he asked me.

Even his _voice_ made me flinch.

"Please l-leave me alone..." I stuttered.

He did.

With trembling hands, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed a number.

He picked up on the third ring.

"Hello, S-Stephen?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of this one? Please leave comments, okay?


	84. Sleep...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader calls Strange for help.

Strange's POV

 

It was my ringing phone that woke me up from an already restless sleep. Groaning, I sat up, reached out for my phone to see who was calling. 

 

Y/N. 

 

"Hello?" I answered. 

 

"Hello, S-Stephen?" her voice came, broken, like she had been crying. 

 

I sat up in alarm. 

 

"Y/N, what happened? Are you alright?" 

 

She just sobbed, _hysterically._  

 

"Y/N. Calm down, please. Calm down..." 

 

"I... I... " she stammered. 

 

I had never heard her like this before. 

 

"Y/N, darling, just hold on, okay? Do you want me to come there?" I asked her. 

 

She fell silent. 

 

"O-Okay..." she sniffled. 

 

"Alright. Just a minute," I told her and hung up. 

 

I got up and put on my dress robe, closed my eyes and concentrated. A second later, I materialized in what was Y/N's apartment in the Avengers Tower. 

 

I walked straight into her bedroom and the sight that met my eyes made my heart wrench. 

 

She was huddled up on the floor in a corner, her knees pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them. Her face was buried into her knees as her whole body wracked with sobs. 

 

"Y/N?" I called out. 

 

She raised her head and I could see an angry red mark on her cheek. It was obvious that there had been a wound there a few moments ago. 

Her cheeks were stained with tears, her eyes bloodshot. She was still dressed in the same clothes she had left the Sanctum in. 

 

"What happened?" I asked her, making my way to her. 

 

She sobbed, _brokenly,_ flinging her arms around me, just as I knelt down to her level. 

 

I held her close, stroking her hair, letting her cry on my shoulder. 

 

"There, there. I'm here now... I'm right here..." I whispered into her hair. 

 

She buried her face into my neck, her arms tightening around me. 

 

We stayed like that for god knows how long...

 

Finally, when her trembling subsided and she had regained composure, she pulled away. 

 

"What happened, darling? Tell me..." I told her, cupping her face in my hands, wiping her tears with my thumbs. 

 

She nodded. 

 

Bringing her hands to cover mine, as I held her face, she showed me what had happened. She _showed_ me...

 

Everything. 

 

 _Everything._  

 

Right from her first meeting with Steve Rogers... Their love... Discovering that Bucky Barnes was alive... Helping Bucky recover... The three of them together... _Together..._ Every touch... Every kiss... And how their lives fell apart... The loss of the babies... 

 

She showed me _everything._  

 

Even what had happened on this night... How she finally went home... Hoping to spend some time with Bucky... Showing him her powers... So much excitement... She _stunned_ him... But then she broke into his darkest memories... He turned violent... He hurt her... Guilt... Pain... _So much pain..._ And shame... That she had undone all the progress that Bucky had been making... It was all _her_ fault... That's what she believed... 

 

With a sharp intake of breath, I pulled away from her. 

 

"It hurts, Stephen... It _hurts..."_ she breathed, looking at me, her wide innocent eyes brimming with tears. 

 

It broke my heart, looking at her like this. 

 

"Shhh..." I pulled her into my arms again. 

 

"It will be okay, I'm _here._ I'm right here, darling." 

 

I held her while she wept, letting out all her pain, till she ran out of tears. 

 

"I'm so _tired..."_ she whispered into my shoulder. 

 

I placed a kiss on her forehead, smoothing her hair away from her face. 

 

"Then sleep, darling. I've got you..." 

 

And she did...

 

 

 

 


	85. Protect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is from Bucky's POV.

Bucky's POV 

 

What had I done? 

 

What had I _done?_  

 

I was sitting in the living room area of our apartment floor. Y/N had asked me to leave... To leave her alone. 

 

I simply couldn't get her face away from my mind. How _hurt_ she had looked when I had raised my hand on her... 

 

It was purely accidental, of course. I would never hurt her intentionally. I could _never..._  

 

I had to talk to her. To apologize. To explain myself. Whether she wanted to hear it or not. 

Steve, Y/N and I had already lost too much due to lack of communication in our relationship. I couldn't afford to lose any more. 

 

Steeling myself to get up, I walked to our bedroom. My feet felt like lead, as I made my way slowly to the room. I was apprehensive of how she would react. 

I mean, she had made it pretty clear that she wanted to be left alone...

 

As I turned the corner to the bedroom, I stopped in my tracks. _Stephen Strange_ was standing in our bedroom, Y/N asleep in his arms as he held her. 

 

I felt a rush of anger and _jealousy._  

 

What was _he_ doing here? 

 

Almost as if he had heard my question, Strange replied, "She called me, Barnes." 

 

Oh, so _that's_ how it was now?

 

It took me all my strength to hold back the venom in my voice as I spoke. 

 

"And of course, you simply _had_ to come immediately, didn't you, Strange?" 

 

He sighed, looking pained. 

 

"Yes," he answered simply, carrying Y/N over to the bed and gently placing her down. She mumbled unintelligibly and her hand gripped the front of his tunic. 

 

Strange gently, _delicately,_ loosened her grip on his tunic and placed her hand at her side. 

 

I was watching, silently, feeling my blood pressure rise tenfold. Y/N was _mine._ And this pretentious asshole was touching her as if...

 

He smoothed her long hair away from her face, before gently stroking the slight bruise where I had _accidentally_ struck her.

 

Something inside me snapped. 

 

"Don't _touch_ her, Strange!" 

 

The doctor looked at me, rolling his eyes, seeming exasperated. 

 

"Save your teenage boy jealousy for someone else, Barnes. I'm only trying to help-" 

 

"I. Do. Not. Need. Your. Help," I spat out, trying to keep my voice low, in case I woke Y/N up. 

 

Amusement danced in his blue eyes as he looked at me. "No, you do not need my help, but _she does._ And whether you like it or not, I am going to be around to help her. If you have a problem with it, deal with it, Barnes." 

 

I stood there, seething. 

 

Half of me wanted to _break_ his fucking bones. And the other half of me wanted to thank him for his unwavering support, which had clearly helped Y/N. 

Neither of us spoke a word. We just stood there, staring at each other.

The silence stretched on for what seemed like eternity. 

 

"I'm... I'm sorry..." I said, finally. 

 

Strange looked at me, his brows furrowing slightly. 

 

"Y/N had come to mean a lot to me over the short period of time that I have known her. And please don't think its all because of her powers. Its because of _her._ I don't think or expect you to understand how _much_ she means to me, Barnes," he said, reaching out to stroke her hair. 

Y/N, as I sensing his touch even in her sleep, leaned toward him. 

 

Strange smiled as he looked at her. 

 

"As guardian of all the dimensions and Sorcerer Supreme, I had taught myself to part with my humanity. But ever since Y/N has entered my life, I have felt a _change..._ I don't know if you know what I'm saying here..." he said, caressing her face. 

 

I understood. 

 

I understood _completely,_ because Y/N had brought about the exact same change in me. 

 

"I... I know what you mean..." I said softly. 

 

Strange looked at me in silence. Then nodded slightly. 

 

"I've made a vow to myself, that I will protect Y/N, _no matter what,_ whether you like it or not," he said, quietly. 

 

And before I had a chance to reply, Doctor Strange simply vanished into thin air. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like this, my loves?   
> What do you think of this interaction between Bucky and Strange?


	86. Dinner Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its the Maximoffs' birthday. And there's a party at the Tower...

Reader's POV 

 

Tony Stark could find _any_ excuse to throw a party. And the man did know how to throw a party. 

 

It was the twins' birthday and Tony had been over the moon excited. He had planned a night full of drinks and debauchery for the entire Avengers team. But thankfully, Wanda had put her foot down. 

 

"Mr. Stark, _really,_ there's no need for all of this! Just a simple dinner with the team will be fine..." she had insisted, with Pietro pouting disappointedly behind her back. I knew that the male Maximoff was totally on board with Tony's initial idea and most probably, Wanda had blackmailed him into agreeing with her. 

 

"No, no! Absolutely not! I'm not having any of it!" Tony quipped, shaking his head at Wanda's idea. 

 

Wanda seemed totally helpless. That's when I spoke to her through telepathy...

 

 _Pepper._  

 

The mention of Pepper's name caused a lightbulb to go off in Wanda's head. I could see it in her eyes. 

 

"Uh, Tony, does Pepper agree with this idea of a party? Especially after what happened at the _last_ party?" Wanda asked Tony innocently. 

 

Tony gasped. "You _wouldn't..."_  

 

Wanda grinned, wickedly. "Oh I will, especially since Pepper has expressly prohibited parties involving strippers... I think I'll run the idea by her..." 

 

All the color had drained off the billionaire's face. 

 

"No! Wait! Fine...alright. You can have your dinner party, if that's what you want..." he relented. 

 

Wanda squealed with excitement, clapping her hands. 

 

 _Thanks,_ came Wanda's voice in my head as she dragged an extremely sulky Pietro with her. 

 

And that was that. 

 

The twins' birthday party was on in full swing when I finally made my way there. Wanda was dressed in a beautiful red dress that skimmed her knees and Pietro looked incredible in a button up blue shirt and black pants. I looked around and noticed that all the girls were wearing dresses and felt quite underdressed in my jeans and sweater top combo. Honestly, I felt quite cold and I didn't want to be bothered with the whole process of dolling up, considering how _tired_ I felt. 

 

I wished Wanda and Pietro and was just making my way to go grab a drink (nothing alcoholic, mind) when Steve walked in. Hand in hand with _Sharon Carter._  

 

I rolled my eyes at the two as they greeted Clint and Rhodey. Steve moved on at the speed of light it seemed. And Sharon seemed positively _ecstatic_ as she hung onto the arm of Captain America. 

 

 _Jesus._  

 

I could feel a headache coming on. Just then, Pepper announced that it was time to cut the cake. I was walking toward the cake table when I felt Bucky's metal fingers grasp my hand. 

 

"Hey, are you alright?" he asked, a bottle of beer in hand, gazing pointedly at Steve and Sharon. 

 

"Yeah, whatever, Buck. It doesn't make any difference to me anymore." 

 

He nodded and took a sip of beer. 

 

The cake cutting ceremony went on uneventfully. We sang "Happy Birthday" and Pietro fed cake to Wanda. Then Wanda smashed a handful of cake in Pietro's face, which elicited a gale of laughter. 

 

We all sat down to dinner at a big table in the center of the room. It was decorated with flowers and candles. There were place cards everywhere. I looked around the table. _Everyone_ was here. Wanda, Pietro, Tony, Pepper, Bruce, Clint, Laura, Natasha, Thor, Sam, Bucky Steve, Sharon, Rhodey, Helen, all were in attendance. 

I knew that Stephen wasn't going to show up. He had declined Pepper's invitation to the party. 

 

The waiters turned out with the starters. I chose a salad of roasted peppers, pine nuts and feta cheese. Just as I was about to dig in, I heard Bucky's voice. 

 

_I hope Y/N doesn't get upset that Steve brought Sharon along. He can be such an idiot sometimes..._

 

His voice came loud and clear, ringing in my ears. But when I looked up at him, he smiled at me from across the table as if he had said nothing.

 

Was I unintentionally going into his mind? 

Shaking my head at my silliness, I began to fork up some of the salad. 

 

Suddenly, a group of voices attacked my head, ringing loudly in my ears, making my head throb.

 

 _I hope Vision likes my dress_ , said Wanda. 

 

 _Why didn't Pepper let me hire the strippers_ , asked Tony. 

 

 _Wanda shouldn't have shoved that cake in my face_ , came Pietro's voice. 

 

 _I hope that new babysitter is taking care of Nathaniel properly_ , said Laura. 

 

I dropped my fork with a loud clatter. "Jesus, _guys._ Don't talk so loud!" I said. 

 

Total silence. Everyone had stopped eating. They were just staring at me. 

 

Natasha, who was sitting next to me, placed a hand on my shoulder. "Is everything okay, Y/N?" she asked me. 

 

As I looked at her, opening my mouth to reply, a barrage of voices rang out in my ears. 

 

 _She's been acting so strange these days_ , Sam said. 

 

 _Is she okay,_ Tony asked. 

 

 _She's behaving weirdly,_ Clint said. 

 

 _She needs to rest,_ said Bruce. 

 

 _Maybe its the telepathy,_ said Bucky. 

 

 _Yep, she's finally gone insane,_ came Sharon's voice...

 

" _SHUT UP_! SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!" I screamed, covering my ears with my hands in an attempt to stop the voices. 

 

Everyone fell silent. So silent that I could only hear my gasping breaths as I sat in my seat, head bowed, pressing my hands over my ears. 

 

 _What a whack job,_ came Sharon's voice. 

 

"Are you alright, kid?" Tony asked gently. 

 

I stood up. I couldn't stay here anymore. I had to get out. 

 

"I'm...I'm sorry..." I murmured, my head throbbing, eyes watering as I broke into a run. 

 

I ran into the nearest empty room, tears streaming down my face, locking myself in. 

 

I collapsed onto the floor as more voices attacked my head. 

 

_God, what was that?_

 

_She's so weird..._

 

_What's wrong with her?_

 

_She needs to be put up in a mental hospital..._

 

_I have to go see her..._

 

I could recognize the owners of each of these voices. Clint, Sam, Steve, Sharon, Bucky...

 

But there were also a whole bunch of other voices who's owners I did not recognize. 

 

_I hope Mr. Stark approves my leave..._

 

_Should I ask her out on a date?_

 

_Man, I need a coffee right now..._

 

_I just want to finish up this work and get home..._

 

I realized that I was hearing the thoughts of _other_ employees working in the Avengers Tower on this night. My head was searing with pain. I tried to breathe and concentrate on getting these voices out of my head. 

 

"Get out of my head! _GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"_ I screamed, burying my face into my hands. 

 

Through the barrage of voices, I tried to focus. I had to find _him..._ I had to...

 

_Stephen? Can you hear me?_

 

No response. 

 

_S-Stephen?_

 

 _Yes, I can hear you,_ came his voice. 

 

_Please get me out of here..._

 

_Hold on..._

 

A few moments later, Stephen materialized in front of me, wearing his usual blue tunic and crimson cloak. 

 

I had tears running down my face. 

 

"What happened?" he asked, kneeling down to my level. 

 

I sobbed. 

 

"The _voices..._ Please get them out of my head..." 

 

His eyes softened and he placed his hand on my head. 

 

"Go to sleep now..." he whispered. 

 

I felt a trickling sensation from where his hand had touched my head and I felt myself getting drowsy. 

 

"Is that...a sleep spell or something?" I mumbled, my eyelids drooping. 

 

He chuckled, his arms coming around me, holding me. 

 

"Yes, little one..." he said, just as I sank into an undisturbed sleep. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, please. What do you think?   
> Reader is having trouble keeping the voices out of her head. Also, Steve has moved on to Sharon. And isn't Strange sweet?
> 
> Thoughts!


	87. Agreement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strange makes his case...

Strange's POV 

 

I carried Y/N to her bedroom once she fell asleep, setting her down on her bed gently, trying my best not to disturb her. She mumbled something unintelligible as I covered her up with a blanket, to make sure she stayed warm. 

 

I had half a mind to teleport back to the Sanctum, taking her with me. But it would be better for her if she stayed here. I decided to stay with her for the night, considering how _distraught_ she had sounded when she had contacted me telepathically. 

 

I pulled up a chair beside her bed and sat down on it, watching her as she slept. Her mind was in a state of turmoil, that was obvious. And her powers were _barely_ in her control. Partly because she had _just_ discovered her powers and also because she had so _much_ power inside her. 

 

She was unaware of the true extent of her powers, just like her teammates. But I sensed it in her the moment I met her for the first time. I knew what if she were to be left to her own devices with such magnitude of psychic energy, she would end up destroying herself along with others. With suitable training, I could see her accomplish _wonders..._

 

The sound of a knock on the door pulled me out of my reverie. "Come in," I answered. 

 

The door opened to reveal Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers standing there. _Great._  

 

"I think we should take this outside," I said, standing up. "I don't think we should disturb her." 

 

The men nodded and retreated from the doorway. I followed, turning off the lights as I made my way out of her room. 

 

"What's going on with her?" Barnes asked as soon as I had stepped out. I closed the door to her room behind me. 

 

"She can hear _everyone's_ thoughts. Almost like they're being shouted out at her... And not just the thoughts of people around her. She could hear the minds of each and every human being in this Tower, which distressed her greatly," I said. 

 

"That's what I thought..." Stark murmured. 

 

"Can't she shut the voices down?" Steve Rogers asked. 

 

I felt a stab of anger at how utterly _ignorant_ the Captain could be. 

 

"Her power is not a machine gun or a time bomb that can just be _'shut down',_ Captain Rogers", I snapped at him. 

 

His eyes went wide at my response and he at least had the courtesy to look mortified at his question. 

 

"So...does it mean that she's unable to control her powers?" he asked me, a little hesitantly. 

 

"She's doing very well so far. Much, _much_ better than I had expected her to perform. But there have been a few...let's say, _emotional turbulences,_ that have affected her powers and caused her a great deal of distress..." I said, gazing _right_ at the Captain. 

 

He flinched. 

 

"I didn't... I didn't mean..." he began, but I cut him off. 

 

"No, _of course_ you didn't mean it, Captain. And when has the great Captain America ever have to answer to _anyone,_ am I right?" 

 

He stayed silent and just glared at me. 

 

"What do you suggest we do, Doctor Strange?" he asked me, eventually finding his voice. 

 

"Oh, you've done _enough_ for her, Captain Rogers. I'll take it from here." 

 

I felt a savage sense of satisfaction as I watched him stomp out of the room, face bright red. 

 

I turned to Barnes and Stark. 

 

"She is upset. For a _variety_ of reasons, as you can imagine. There's a lot of pent up grief and anger and resentment inside her that she needs to reconcile with. And the sheer _magnitude_ of her power is not easy to control, even for someone who has had years of experience. She needs training, yes. But she also needs _introspection._ Self examination. She needs to _find herself_ first, if she wants to have any chance of controlling the power running through her veins. And she needs a caring, nurturing environment as she undertakes this journey..." I explained to them. 

 

Stark nodded in agreement.

 

"What do you suggest?" he asked. 

 

"Well, for starters, I would prefer if she moved into the Sanctum with me. If that is agreeable with you, of course," I said, gesturing to Barnes. 

 

He stayed silent for a long moment. 

 

"Will I be able to visit her?" he asked. 

 

 _"Of course._ She needs your support and I don't want to isolate her completely..." 

 

"Okay. Do it. _Anything_ that helps her, I'm ready," Barnes said. 

 

I gave him a small smile. 

 

"Okay. And thank you," I said to him. 

 

"Are you going to take her right now?" Stark asked.

 

"No, no. Let her rest. I'll take her with me come morning," I said, before teleporting from the Tower. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are you liking Strange so far? I'm thinking at some point, he and Y/N should journey to his ashram in the Himalayas for training, what do you think?


	88. The First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader has an out of body experience.

Reader's POV 

 

My training with Stephen had well and truly begun. It still felt like a dream....each day I learned something new. 

 

"My powers are based on occult and mysticism, Y/N, while yours have a psionic base. We both can access the astral plane..." he had told me on my very first day back at the Sanctum. 

 

"What is an astral plane?" I had asked him. 

 

"It is an alternative plane of existence, another dimension. It cannot be accessed by the physical body. Can you guess which medium _can_ access the astral plane?" he asked. 

 

"Um....the soul?" 

 

"Yes! The soul or the spirit, the essence of our consciousness, is the medium by which the astral plane can be reached." 

 

"But... If only the soul can access the astral plane, it can be done only after death, right? I mean, that's when the soul leaves the body, doesn't it?" I had asked. 

 

"Yes, lovely girl. The soul leaves the body after death and it exists separately from the body before birth. These are the only two times when the body and the soul exist as separate entities...well, for _regular_ people. You and I are capable of detaching our souls from our bodies _at will,"_ Stephen told me, his eyes glowing bright as he spoke. 

 

"And how can we do that?" I asked, my heart racing with curiosity. 

 

He grinned. 

 

"Through astral _projection,_ lovely girl..." 

 

He murmured an incantation, closed his eyes and concentrated. Then, he placed his hand on my forehead and gave me a _push._  

 

And the experience that followed _was...extraordinary._  

 

I was pushed back, but my body _remained_ exactly where it had been, on the floor of the Sanctum's training room.

 

"I...you..." I stuttered. 

 

I felt myself _float_ in the air, watching as my body stayed slumped on the floor. 

 

A few seconds later, I watched incredulously as Stephen detached his soul from his body, floating up in the air. 

 

He floated right next to me, while his body lay down on the ground beside mine. 

 

"You're _literally_ having and out-of-body moment, huh?" he quipped, grinning at me. 

 

I tore my gaze away from our bodies where they remained on the floor and looked at him. 

 

"We look pretty _dead,_ don't we?" I asked, grinning at him. 

 

"Yeah, we're dead. But only _temporarily._ Now come with me, you have to see this!" he said, grabbing my hand...or my _soul's_ hand.  

 

And that was when he took me on my first visit to the astral plane. It was absolutely _magical..._

 

It was a vast, _infinite_ space with a constant inflow and outflow of souls. I could actually _see_ the souls which had detached themselves from their respective bodies after death. I could see souls of people who had not even been _born_ yet wandering around, searching for their owners. 

 

"The soul never dies, Y/N. It remains eternal, _always_ remember that..." he said.

 

When we finally returned to our bodies, it felt so _weird_ waking up. 

 

"Getting back into your body will feel strange at first. But you'll get used to it..." he said. 

 

The experience was _overwhelming_ for me. I had tears in my eyes and I hugged him. 

 

 _"Thank you..."_ I breathed into his shoulder. 

 

He chuckled, running a hand through my hair, hugging me back.

 

"It was nothing, lovely girl. I just showed you what you are _capable_ of. I will teach you to detach your soul from your body at will..." he said. 

 

He pulled away and placed a kiss on my forehead. 

"I will teach you _everything_ I know and more. You will have the power to move _worlds_ with your mind, Y/N. I promise you, I'll be with you every step of the way.." 

 

 _"Teach_ me. Teach me _everything,_ Stephen," I said, through tears. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of this chapter? Should I write more about Reader's training sessions with Strange?


	89. The Lost Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During one of her training sessions with Strange, the Reader stumbles upon a missing piece of her mind.

Reader's POV 

 

_"We have a female, early to mid twenties, direct gunshot wound to the lower abdomen. Will require blood transfusions. Please have a team ready to attend to the patient upon arrival..." the paramedic conversed with the hospital where I was being taken to._

 

_I was trying to stay awake, to **listen** in as I was being shuttled to the hospital in an ambulance. But the pain was so **excruciating** that it made me lose consciousness a few times. _

 

_Bucky and Steve were in the ambulance with me._

 

_"Y/N, stay with us. Stay with us, **please..."** Bucky pleaded to me, his hand clasping mine. _

 

_I tried to nod, to blink, to show some sign of acknowledgement, but I simply did not have the strength to do it._

 

_The contractions in my lower abdomen were sending spasms of pain through my body. I wanted to **scream,** but I couldn't find my voice..._

 

_"She's hemorrhaging internally as well. Is it possible that she might be pregnant?" the medic asked Steve._

 

_Steve was almost in a trance. **Dazed.** His eyes fixed on me. _

 

_"Captain Rogers! Is it possible that she might be pregnant?" the medic asked, louder this time._

 

_"Y-Yes..." Steve said, finally snapping out of his daze, looking at the medic who was addressing him._

 

_"P-Please, save them... **Steve...** You have to **save** our child..." I gasped, as another white hot burst of pain went through me. _

 

_"I believe she's miscarrying, sir. We'll try our best..." I had tuned the paramedic out, but the word 'miscarrying' sent me into a state of panic._

 

_My heart began to beat faster, my breath coming out in short, quick gasps. And the **pain...**  _

_I was dimly aware of the frantic beeping of the machine that monitored my heartbeat._

 

_"Y/N, please. **Stay** with us, okay? We're right here... I'm here... Stevie is here..." Bucky said, wiping tears that I hadn't even noticed escaping down my eyes._

 

_"It **hurts,** Bucky...it hurts. Just save the baby...   **Please..."**  _

 

_Those were my last words before a blinding pain caused me to succumb to pitch black darkness..._

 

I pulled back my hand from Stephen's, gasping. 

 

He was staring at me, equally stunned. 

 

"Was that...?" 

 

"Yeah, it was..." I gasped, tears welling up in my eyes. 

 

He pulled me into his arms, just as I dissolved into uncontrollable tears.   

 

I wept into his shoulder. It was just supposed to be a _regular_ telepathic communication exercise. 

 

Stephen had asked me to show me a memory. And I showed him _this..._ A memory I didn't even know I _had..._

 

"You're alright?" he asked me, when my sobs finally subsided. 

 

"Yeah, yeah," I sniffed, pulling away from him. "I didn't know I even _had_ that, Stephen..." 

 

"I think it was a repressed memory, Y/N." 

 

"I didn't know I had repressed memories..." 

 

"But you do. You showed it to me. And it is _completely_ understandable why you repressed such a memory. I mean, the _trauma_ of losing your children in such a _violent_ way... That had to be hard. Your mind simply isolated that memory and hid it from your consciousness..." 

 

"Until my powers unleashed it all over again?" I asked. 

 

He nodded.

 

We stayed silent for a long moment. Then he spoke. 

 

"Go and take some rest, Y/N. You're obviously shaken," he said, placing a hand on mine. 

 

I nodded and got up slowly, walking to my bedroom. 

 

Once in, I locked myself in and finally let the tears flow free. I slumped down on the floor, my back against the door as I wept into my hands. 

 

I cried and _cried_ until there weren't any tears left. I didn't know how long I stayed on the floor, crying. 

 

Exhausted, I went to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on my face. When I raised my eyes to look into the mirror, I could only see haunted, _pained,_ bloodshot eyes. 

 

I made my way over to the bed and collapsed onto it, still fully dressed. I didn't have the energy to change into something more comfortable. 

 

Within minutes, I was dozing off, still thinking about the children I had lost and about the life I could have had, had they been _alive..._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are absolutely AMAZING! Thank you so much for reading Super Soldiers and giving it so much love.   
> (Don't think this is the end, you guys! I'm just a little emotional after writing this chapter.)


	90. Closure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen shows the Reader something that could give her closure.

Reader's POV 

 

It had been three days since I had shown Stephen the harrowing memory of my miscarriage. He had been toughening up the training with me with each passing day. 

 

But for the majority of the day today, Stephen had been absent. This morning when I went to the inner room of the Sanctum, I found the door locked from within. I tried to call out to Stephen with my voice and my _mind,_ but got no response. 

 

Figuring that he was doing some sort of inter dimensional surveillance or a meditation exercise, I decided to leave him alone. But I would be lying if I said that I wasn't worried with his sudden absence. 

 

I was reading a book, with a cup of coffee in hand and it was late evening when Stephen finally showed up. 

 

"God, Stephen, where _were_ you? I was worried and-" 

 

"Y/N, come with me, _now",_ he cut me off, a sharp urgency in his voice. 

 

"Why? What happened?" I asked, puzzled. I had never seen the man look this frantic before. 

 

"Don't ask questions, just _come_ with me, okay?" he said, his deep voice commanding. 

 

I kept my book aside and we rushed straight to the inner room of the Sanctum. 

 

"I'm going to take you somewhere, Y/N. Perform astral _projection...now..."_  

 

I sat down on the floor and immediately began to meditate, focusing on separating my consciousness from my body. It took me a while, considering how _inexperienced_ I was in doing the process completely by myself. But I succeeded. 

 

He was waiting for me on the other side. 

 

Our bodies were lying down on the floor, next to each other. "Take my hand, Y/N," he said, pulling my attention to him. I did. 

 

And we were off. Floating and flying through the astral plane, covering an _unimaginable_ amount of distance within minutes. 

Until we reached a place that I could only describe as a beach... 

 

The sand shone a dull gold, soft under my feet, while the silvery waves washed the shore. The sky was dark above us, studded with stars belonging to galaxies that mankind hadn't even _discovered_ yet. 

It was a beautiful but _isolated_ place. 

 

"Why did we come here?" I asked him. 

 

He pointed at something behind my back. I turned. 

 

Two tiny, flickering orbs of pure light were floating slowly towards me. 

 

I could feel their presence in my mind, as clear as I had dreamt about them... 

 

It _couldn't_ be... 

 

It _couldn't..._

 

"S-Stephen, what is this?" I asked him, my voice breaking. 

 

"Closure," he whispered. 

 

I watched as the two orbs came closer to me and I could sense their energy. They felt so _familiar..._

 

 _Mom?_ Came the voice from one of the flickering orbs. 

 

I felt a sudden stabbing pain in my heart. I _didn't_ want to believe... It was _impossible..._

 

 _Mom?_ The other sphere asked me, both their voices resembling that of two baby girls... 

 

"Yes, its me..." I whispered and at the sound of my voice, the light in them seemed to glow brighter. Almost as if they were _happy._  

 

"These are..." 

 

"These are your children, Y/N. Their souls," Stephen said, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. 

 

"But how did you... How did you find them?" I asked him, stunned.

 

"I _looked_ for them, Y/N. I looked for them _everywhere,_ ever since you showed me that memory of yours..." he said. 

 

I wanted to _cry._ I wanted to _dance._ I wanted to _laugh._ But most of all, I wanted to _thank_ Stephen Strange.

 

"I had told you Y/N, souls are eternal. And as it turns out, these two were _waiting_ for you..." he spoke, reaching out to touch one of the orbs with his hand. 

 

It flickered and glowed brighter at his touch. 

 

 _Dad?_ It asked. 

 

"No, darling. I'm not your father..." Stephen told it. 

 

The light dimmed a little, as if it was _disappointed._  

 

 _Where? Dad?_ The one close to me asked me. 

 

I felt my heart swell with emotion. 

 

"They... They _couldn't_ come, sweetie..." I said. 

 

The orbs light dimmed a bit more. 

 

"But I'm here," I said, taking both of them in my hands, watching as their light grew brighter. They _felt...happy._  

 

"You'll notice that their energy, their aura has _weakened_ considerably, Y/N," Stephen said, beside me. 

 

Yes, I could _feel_ that they were weak. Their light had been dimmed and flickering until I spoke to them. 

 

"Why are they weak?" I asked Stephen, but one of the little orbs answered. 

 

 _We waited, mom._  

 

"But _why_ did you wait, sweetie?" I asked it. 

 

The other one replied. 

 

_Wanted to see you. Tell you..._

 

"Tell me _what?"_ I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. 

 

Both of them answered unanimously. 

 

_Not your fault..._

 

"What? Losing you wasn't my fault? That's what you're saying?" I asked, almost refusing to believe what I was hearing.

 

 _Yes._ They both answered together. 

 

If I could weep _actual_ tears in my astral form, I would have. The souls of my children had stayed _back,_ remained in limbo, _just_ to tell me that it wasn't my fault that I lost them...

 

"Can you come back with me?" I asked, my voice hopeful. 

 

 _No, mom. Can't. Weak..._ one of them spoke, its voice breaking.

 

 _Need to go,_ the other one said. 

 

"Go _where?"_ I asked. I had _just_ met them and they were already talking about leaving. 

 

 _Home. Where we came from,_ they answered. 

 

"They _have_ to go?" I asked Stephen. He nodded. 

 

"They have overstayed, Y/N. They're already _very_ weak. They _have_ to return. That's the rule of nature for mortals..." he said, a tinge of sadness in his voice. 

 

_Bye,_ _mom._  

 

 _Never forget us, okay?_  

 

"No, my loves, I will _never_ forget you. And I'm _sorry..._ I'm _so sorry..."_ I sobbed tearlessly. 

 

 _Mom, not your fault._  

 

 _Bye._  

 

They glowed _bright_ in my hands and I felt their _warmth_ seep through my own form. 

 

Then they began to float upwards, to the dark sky, to the stars... 

 

"Let them go, Y/N," Stephen warned me, taking his hand in mine. 

 

I looked at him and his face held and expression of pure love and tenderness. 

 

 _"Thank you,_ Stephen..." I whispered. 

 

"You needed it, Y/N," he replied. "Come, now. Let's go home..." 

 

When we returned to our bodies, I pulled Stephen into my arms, hugging him tightly. _"Thank you, thank you..."_  

 

He held me as I cried...for I don't know how long. 

 

When I finally pulled away from him, he placed a kiss on the top of my head. 

 

"You needed this, Y/N," he said, again. "Now go, sleep..." 

 

As I raced to my room, filled with euphoria and sadness. Euphoria at _finally_ meeting them, _hearing_ them. And sadness that they had to go so _soon..._

I wanted to call Bucky and Steve. I wanted to tell them that I had actually _met_ our children. Just as I picked up my phone, I remembered that Steve would probably be 'busy' with Sharon Carter. Bucky on the other hand, was out on a mission in Berlin, he had texted me this morning. 

 

I decided to go to sleep instead. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the toughest chapters I've ever written. Thoughts?


	91. That's How It Felt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets a reality check.

Reader's POV 

 

I decided to surprise Bucky at the Tower, going there to meet him when he returned from his mission. 

I wanted to tell him, _and_ Steve about what Stephen showed me last night. 

 

I had _met_ my children. 

 

I had met _our_ children...

 

Bucky was _delighted_ to see me, rushing over and giving me a tight bear hug that was knocked all the air out of my lungs. "Doll, what a treat! I didn't know you were going to come here!" 

 

"Yeah, well, I decided to surprise you," I said, chuckling. "I wanted to talk to you about something..." 

 

"Yeah, what?" 

 

"Not here, come with me..." I said, grabbing his hand and dragging him along. 

 

On the way to our room, we ran into Steve, who was _alone,_ mercifully. 

 

I noticed his eyes slip down to our joined hands, before he looked up at me and said rather awkwardly, "Hello, Y/N." 

 

"Hi, Steve," I said, my tone positively chipper. His eyes went wide at my cheerful tone. "I want to talk to you, do you mind?" 

 

He looked even _more_ surprised now. 

 

"Uh...yeah, sure," he said and followed us. 

 

I took them both straight to the living room area of our (Bucky's and mine) apartment and sat them down. Then I proceeded to tell them absolutely _everything_ that I had seen last night. 

 

Bucky hung onto my _every_ word, looking utterly fascinated. 

 

"I wish I could have met them, doll," he said, clasping my hand in his, his eyes shining. 

 

Steve, on the other hand, was skeptical. 

 

"Are you sure what you saw was real, Y/N?" he asked me. "I mean, Stephen Strange's powers include illusion. He must have shown you something he knew you were sensitive about, just to _manipulate_ you..." 

 

"No, it wasn't like that. He wouldn't... _Why_ would he lie to me about something like that?" I asked, affronted. If anything, Stephen had been a guide, a mentor to me, a rock during these difficult times. 

 

Steve looked unconvinced. "So you're saying you _separated_ your soul from your body and surfed the _'astral plane'_ only to meet the souls of our lost children?" he asked, his voice taking on a patronizing tone. 

 

"Why would I lie to you about something like this, Steve?" I asked, feeling hurt. 

 

"I believe you, Y/N," Bucky said quietly. 

 

But Steve had a look of pity on his face. Like he was looking at a patient in a mental asylum who was so far gone that there was no hope left for them...

 

"Y/N, it could have been a _hallucination._ I mean, I _know_ you haven't been able to get over losing the children but-" 

 

That was _it._ I felt something inside me snap. Like a dam had burst and spilled over...

 

"You're damn _right,_ Steve. I _haven't_ been able to get over losing our children..." I said, angrily. 

 

"Y/N..." Bucky mumbled, warningly. 

 

"I mean, I can _understand_ the pain you went through, Y/N-" Steve began, but I cut him off, too angry to care. 

 

"How _could_ you understand, Steven? How could you _possibly_ understand? You went about leading your merry little life as if _nothing_ had happened, distancing yourself from me when I _needed_ you. And then it didn't take you long to go crawling into Sharon Carter's pants!" I all but screamed, getting to my feet. 

 

Steve stood up as well, a look of pure anger on his face. 

 

"You wouldn't _dare..."_ he said, pointing a finger at me. 

 

"Oh, I _will,"_ I said. "You say you understand the pain I went through, right? Well, let me give you a taste..."

 

I reached out and touched his face. 

 

And I _showed_ him _everything._  

 

My _fear_ when Ward had showed up on the street that fateful day... The _pain_  and _desperation_ when he had kicked me in the stomach... _My children_ ... How I felt when I threw myself in front of Steve... The bullet _piercing_ through my skin and flesh... The _agony..._ The _blood..._ _Please save my child... It hurts so much..._ The _helplessness..._ Waking up in the hospital... Being told that I had lost not one, but _two_ babies... The feeling of _despair..._ How I felt my life was _over..._ And then Steve distanced himself... How I had _craved_ his presence... The _comfort_ that he had once given me... Heading to his apartment in Brooklyn to surprise him... Watching him kiss Sharon in the cafe... The _betrayal..._ _I had trusted you... I had loved you..._

 

When I pulled myself out of my thoughts, returning to reality, Steve had collapsed onto the floor, on his knees. _Gasping._ His head in his hands. 

 

"Stop it..." he gasped. _"Please..."_  

 

The absolute _pain_ in his voice gave me a sense of vindictive pleasure. The mighty Captain America was at _my feet._

 

 _"Now_ you know, Steven Grant Rogers. _That's_ how it felt..." I said. 

 

He looked up at me, and I noticed that there were _tears_ in his eyes. "I'm _sorry..."_ he whispered. 

 

"Well that's the _easiest_ thing in the world, isn't it? Saying that you're sorry... But it doesn't change _anything,_ Steve," I snapped at him.

 

"What can I do?" he asked me in a whisper. 

 

"You've done _enough,"_ I said, before storming out of the room, taking Bucky with me. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...what do you think of this? Do you think what the Reader showed Steve will bring about a change in him? How will he react?


	92. Missed You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky misses the Reader. She makes it up to him.

Reader's POV

 

Bucky and I had initially planned to spend a nice relaxing night in our apartment, watching old movies and eating pizza. It was a rainy, stormy kind of night and neither of us felt like venturing out. 

 

But he was a little frazzled after his most recent mission, which he had returned from this morning. And my training was wringing me out too... So I suggested another idea... And God, was it a _good_ one... 

 

"Oh, _Bucky..."_ I gasped, collapsing against him, my skin slick with sweat. His bionic hand roamed my bare back, coming to rest on my ass. 

 

I was placing mindless kisses on his neck, inhaling the scent of his skin. "When was the last time we did this?" he asked me, his chest rumbling as he spoke. 

 

"I... I honestly don't remember, Bucky..." I replied, feeling a blush rise in my cheeks. 

 

It had been a while since Bucky and I had _been...intimate._ So many things had happened at once. And I felt almost ashamed at neglecting him like this. 

 

His hand found the back of my head and he pulled me into a kiss. It was a slow, lazy kiss. One that made me _melt..._  

 

"I've _missed_ you..." he said, when we broke apart. I felt a pang of guilt, which must've shown on my face. 

 

"Hey, hey, its not your fault, doll. Don't you dare blame yourself for anything. You've got plenty on your plate already..." he said, caressing my face. 

 

"I feel _terrible,_ Bucky," I said sincerely. 

 

"Oh, shut up, doll. Quit the moping. I've got you for the night..." he said, winking at me suggestively. 

 

I chuckled. "I'm all _yours,_ soldier. But first, I'm thirsty," I said, getting off the bed, making my way to the kitchen for a glass of water. 

 

"Don't make me wait too long!" he called after me. 

 

Giggling, I quickly grabbed myself some water, gulping it down before rushing back to the bedroom. 

 

His arms were around my waist as _soon_ as I entered the room, lifting me up, pinning me against the wall. 

 

I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him into a searing kiss. I could feel his rigid length ready against my inner thigh. 

 

"Fuck, I _want_ you... I want you inside me, Bucky... I'm ready..." I all but begged the man. 

 

With a snarl, he plunged straight into me. I was so wet and prepared after our previous rounds that he bottomed out effortlessly. 

 

The wall felt so deliciously hard and cool against the heated skin of my back. He set a brutal, _punishing_ rhythm, practically _nailing_ me into the wall. 

 

I held onto him, my nails digging into his back as his thrusts came _hard_ and _fast_ and _wet,_ the sound of slapping flesh filling the room. 

 

"Oh, Bucky... _Don't stop..."_ I moaned, throwing my head back against the wall. 

 

He groaned into my neck, his voice unintelligible, his fingers digging into the flesh of my ass. 

 

My orgasm caught me out of the blue, sudden and _intense._ I cried out in ecstasy, shuddering against him. He followed me a moment later, filling me with his warm seed. 

 

When we both finally calmed, he carried me to the bed, laying me down. I moaned softly as he pulled out of me, coming to lie down beside me. 

 

I turned to him, tangling my legs with his. He stroked my hair silently, while I traced aimless patterns on his chest. 

 

"You're so _beautiful..."_ he whispered eventually. I looked at him, my eyelids drooping with drowsiness. "I love you..." 

 

He chuckled. "God, you're adorable, doll. And I love you too. Now _sleep,_ okay?" 

 

I nodded, nuzzling into his neck. "Just a little nap, then we're going for another round, okay?" I mumbled against his skin. 

 

His chest rumbled with laughter. "Sure thing, baby," he said, placing a kiss on the top of my head. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts, my lovelies?


	93. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky has something to confess...

Bucky's POV 

 

I woke up early the next morning. The sun hadn't even risen yet. 

 

I looked at the clock. 5 am. 

 

Yeah, _too_ early. 

 

Y/N was curled up against me, her leg hooked over my hip under the sheets, her arms around me, her face buried into my neck. I could hear her deep, even breaths, feel her warmth on my skin. 

She was asleep. And _peaceful._  

 

More peaceful than I had seen her in quite a while. 

 

I placed a kiss on the top of her head and almost reflexively her arms tightened around me. 

 

That simple gesture made my heart break. I still hadn't gotten used to her loving me the way she did. I didn't know what I did to deserve her...

 

Sighing, I closed my eyes, willing myself to go back to sleep. But I _couldn't._  

 

There was something that was bothering me. A prickling at the back of my mind... 

 

It seemed that Y/N had sensed my futile attempts at going back to sleep. She woke up, placing a sleepy kiss against my shoulder. 

 

"Bucky...why aren't you asleep?" she asked me, her voice so adorably groggy. 

 

I tried to lie to her, hoping that she wouldn't notice it in her half sleepy state. "I'm fine, doll. I'm okay, go back to sleep." 

 

As _usual,_ she caught me. Her eyes opened, alert as she pulled away from me. 

 

Looking straight at me, she said, "Tell me the truth, now. What's keeping you awake?" 

 

I sighed. "You're not gonna like this..." I trailed off.

 

She was fully awake now. _"Bucky._ Spill it." 

 

I decided to confess it right away because there was no point in hiding it from her. 

 

"I just... I _miss_ Steve." 

 

I felt her stiffen at the mention of his name. But she remained silent. Waiting for me to continue. 

 

"Doll, don't get me wrong, I know what that little jerk has done to you...to us. And I'm _not_ okay with it. Its just...this is _Steve,_ you know? He's my best friend at the end of the day. I'll love him, no matter what." 

 

She sat up, pulling the sheet up to her chest, wrapping it around herself as she stood up. But she didn't say anything. 

 

"I know that the man has done some _incredibly_ stupid things, baby. But don't you remember how _good_ life was when the three of us were together? I've been trying to keep it away from you for a while, but I miss Steve. I'm just going to go out there and say it. I _love_ him and I _love you._ And I _know_ you still love him, Y/N." 

 

"I don't love him, Bucky. I _don't."_ she said, anger flashing in her eyes. 

 

I knew that I was in a dangerous territory now. I had to approach carefully. 

 

"I _know_ that you do, Y/N. Deep down, you haven't been able to forget him. I mean, he was there _before_ I came along and-" 

 

"Bucky, _please._ Don't make me do this," she said, her voice quiet and strained. Like she was trying to stop herself from yelling at me. 

"Are you not _happy_ with me?" she asked, a sudden vulnerability taking over the anger. 

 

"No, no, _no,_ baby, its not like that. I _love_ you. But I love Steve _too._ You _both_ complete me..." I trailed off, still unsure of how I could put my feelings into my words. 

 

"Bucky, I can't be with him. I...I just _can't."_  

 

I sighed, nodding. 

 

"I understand, doll." 

 

"But I also don't want to keep you from your happiness. And Steve _clearly_ is a part of that..." she said, quietly reaching for the engagement ring on her finger. 

 

I reached her in three strides and stopped her, taking her hands in mine. "No, no, _no,_ Y/N, I didn't mean it like that... I _didn't..._ I _love_ you," I said, desperation rising in my voice. 

 

"But I'm not enough, Bucky. I'm not _enough_ for you. You need Steve too..." she said, a tear running down her cheek. 

 

I made a move to wipe it away, but she pulled away. "I need some time to think about this, Bucky. You're asking _too much_ of me." 

 

"Take all the time you need, Y/N," I said. 

 

She nodded and leaned in, placing a kiss on my cheek. "I love you, James Buchanan Barnes." 

 

"I love you too, doll," I replied, wondering if I had just permanently destroyed our relationship with my confession. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky has done it. Gone out there and said it. How should the Reader react? I don't think that she and Steve should get together. But it will take a toll on her relationship with Bucky because he misses Steve. Ohhhh the drama!   
> Thoughts? Reactions? Suggestions?   
> Hit me with 'em!


	94. Briefing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day in the life of the Avengers

Reader's POV

 

Fury had called in a meeting the first thing in the morning in the main conference room and _all_ the Avengers were expected to attend. Clint, Natasha, Wanda, Pietro, Steve, Bucky, Tony, Bruce, Thor, Sam, Vision, T'Challa, Scott and the newest addition, Peter Parker, all were ordered to attend. 

 

Maria came in with the announcement and with a unanimous groan, my fellow teammates abandoned their ongoing breakfast and headed straight to the meeting room. I was just spooning some cereal into my mouth, watching the room empty out rather _quickly._ I was left alone. With Hill. 

 

"So, what's the meeting about?" I asked her through a mouthful of cereal. 

 

"Uh, _you,"_ she said. 

 

I almost choked. "What?" 

 

"You heard me," she said, consulting her tablet/planner. "Fury has called them all in to brief them about you. As in, your powers, what you can do. _Everything._ Basically, this is your official initiation to the Avengers. Congratulations," she said, giving me a smile.

 

I felt two things at once: a sense of pride and apprehension at the same time. 

 

Hill looked at my anxious expression and her face softened. "Come on, you're supposed to see the meeting as it happens," she said. "FRIDAY, bring up the audio visual feed from the main conference room, please." 

 

"Of course, Miss Hill," the AI replied coolly and a projection of the conference hall appeared instantly on a glass panel on the wall. 

 

"Right, I'll leave you to it then," Maria said, patting me on the arm before she left. 

 

 _"Right..."_ I mumbled, going back to my breakfast, my eyes on the screen. 

 

The team were all seated around the long conference table, chatting amongst themselves. 

 

"Good morning, Avengers. I'm sure you all must be wondering what the agenda of this meeting is," Fury spoke, walking into the room, Maria right behind him. The team immediately fell silent at his voice. 

 

Maria took a seat next to Scott, while Nick sat at the head of the table. 

 

"Well, as you all know, we have a _new_ member who is undergoing training to be a part of the Avengers Initiative, Miss Y/N," he began. "For those of you who may not know it, Y/N has been training with Doctor Stephen Strange, also known as Sorcerer Supreme, who is proficient in the mystic arts, as well as various branches of martial arts."

 

"Oh, Stephen Strange...he's the magician, right?" Peter asked. 

 

I stifled a laugh, watching Fury roll his eyes, uh, _eye._

 

"He's a _sorcerer,_ Parker. There's a difference," he said. 

 

"Ah, well, tomayto, tomahto..." Peter mumbled. Tony chuckled. 

 

" _As I was saying_ _,_ Y/N acquired her powers through the process of Terrigenesis. Investigations on the possible suspects responsible for the attack on her are still going on," Fury said. 

 

"I've been in contact with Doctor Strange regarding Y/N and based on the report he has compiled for me, she has the powers of telekinesis, telepathy and astral projection. She also has acquired the power of accelerated healing," he continued.

 

"So does that mean that she has the same healing process like Bucky and me?" Steve asked. 

 

"No, Rogers, she heals _much faster_ than you two," Fury said, eliciting a grin from Natasha. "And that's not all, she can not only heal herself, but can use her life force to heal _others."_  

 

"Strange also suspects that she possesses the power of precognition and mental manipulation, but it is something that hasn't been confirmed yet. Her progress has been steady under his guidance and she shows a particular affinity for telepathy. I believe that she will be a great asset for this team, provided she has _complete_ and _total_ control over _all_ aspects of her powers." 

 

Most of the team members nodded in assent. 

 

"She's a bit unstable at times," Pietro added, doubtfully. "I mean, what happened on our birthday," he said, looking at Wanda. 

 

His sister glared at him. "Pietro, she's young. And she's possesses so many gifts that she is _bound_ to have a difficulty in the beginning. You remember how _you_ were at the start?" she said, grinning at him. 

 

Pietro groaned. "Oh, _God,_ don't remind me." 

 

Everyone laughed. 

 

"Is she going to continue training with Strange?"  T'Challa asked. 

 

"Yes, that's the plan. Strange insists on training her in his Sanctum. And I agree with him, since he's the only one we know and trust who is best equipped to deal with powers of this particular kind," Fury said. 

 

"So Y/N won't be joining us in the field?" Wanda asked him, hopefully. 

 

"Not _yet._ She's still learning," came his reply. 

 

I saw a look of disappointment flash across her face. 

 

"Right, so that's all for now, I just wanted to brief you. Off you go," Fury said, standing up. 

 

I watched as the team silently dispersed from the hall. 

 

I was about to make a call to Stephen when I heard my cell phone ringing. I pulled it out of my jeans pocket and stared at the screen. 

 

Speak of the devil...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the last chapter was quite polarizing, huh? So many comments! To be honest, you guys, I'm not keen on a reconciliation between Steve and the Reader. 
> 
> Also, please leave me your comments about this chapter!


	95. The Introduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader remembers the first time she met Steve.  
> Strange gives her an advice.

Reader's POV 

 

_"Y/N, could you be a dear and help me update these files? In fact, could you actually finish them for me, I've got a date night with Pepper," Tony said to me, placing the said files on my table. I sighed, looking up at him. It was 8 am on a Friday night and I was in the lab, working with Bruce when Tony walked in._

 

_"Tony, this is the fifth time in two weeks that I'm doing your work. I mean, I know you're Iron Man and a genius, but really, cut me some slack here! I've got plenty of my own work to complete!" I said, pushing my glasses up my nose._

 

_He gave me a pout, followed by his trademark puppy eyes._

 

_"Y/N, please, please, please, please!" he pleaded, grabbing my hands in his, exaggerating his hurt puppy eyes even more. "Just this time, I promise. Do this and I'm going to buy you the biggest present for your birthday next week. And I'll buy you coffees for a whole month."_

 

_I rolled my eyes. "Tony, my birthday is four months away," I said. He shrugged._

 

_"Doesn't matter, I'm getting you a present next week. Please, just finish this okay?" he said._

 

_I laughed. "Okay, okay. I'll do it."_

 

_He whooped. "Sweet! You're the best. Now help me choose one of these for my date," he said, holding up two ties, a black one and a royal blue one._

 

_"Blue, definitely," I said. Right then, Darcy and Bruce came in, followed by Steve Rogers, who had his shield in his hand._

 

_"I don't know, Bruce, there's something about the balance that just doesn't feel right you know?" he was telling Bruce, gesturing to the shield in his hand._

 

_Now, I had begun working in the Avengers Tower about six weeks ago and I had met almost all the Avengers so far. Except for Thor and the elusive Captain America._

 

_Obviously I knew who he was, being the closeted World War nerd that I was. The man was practically a legend._

 

_"I'll give it a once over with Y/N and Tony, Steve. Please leave the shield here in the lab," Bruce said._

 

_Steve kept his shield down carefully on one of the empty lab tables._

 

_"Earth to Y/N, earth to Y/N," Darcy whispered in my ear. "You're gawking at the Cap, girl!"_

 

_I hadn't realized that I had been staring at Steve ever since he had walked into the room. Jesus, I mean, this was the first time I was seeing the man in person. He was so handsome. His hair looked like spun gold, his crystal blue eyes shining as he spoke. He was tall and very impressively built. I could see the strength and power that he radiated when he moved..._

 

_Darcy snapped her fingers in front of my face. "Geez, Y/N! You're practically drooling!"_

 

_I was about to open my mouth to tell her to shut up, when Tony overheard her._

 

_"Oh my god, you haven't met the Cap yet?" he asked me. Before I could reply, he was calling Steve over._

_"Hey, Steve! Come here! I don't think you've met Y/N."_

 

_Steve walked over to us and stood in front of me, his bright blue eyes fixed on me. "Steve, this is Y/N. She has PhDs in Genetics and Molecular Biology. Y/N, this is Steve. You know him as..." Tony said._

 

_"Captain America, of course," I finished for him._

 

_Steve grasped my hand in his, shaking it firmly. My hand felt so small and fragile in his. I felt a shiver run through my spine at the warmth of his touch. "Its so good to meet you, Doctor Y/N," he said, his eyes sparkling._

 

_I felt a wild blush rise in my cheeks. "Oh, please, call me Y/N. And nice to meet you too, Captain Rogers."_

 

_"Steve..." he corrected, smiling warmly..._

 

 

I pulled my hand from Stephen's grasp, returning to present day. 

 

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I showed you that," I mumbled. 

 

 _"Shh,_ Y/N. Don't ever apologize for anything," he said. 

 

I nodded. We stayed silent for a long moment. 

 

I don't know _why_ I showed him that!

 

"Is everything okay, Y/N? You seem a little distracted," Stephen said, his voice quiet and deep. 

 

"I'm fine, Stephen. Really." 

 

He nodded, not entirely convinced. 

 

We went on to meditate for a while and after that, I practiced telekinesis. I was now being able to move big objects like tables and even cupboards with my mind, making them float through the air. 

 

When my training session was finally over, I slumped down on the floor of the training room, exhausted. 

 

Stephen chuckled. "You want me to cook tonight?" he asked, sitting down on the floor beside me. 

 

"Nah, I'll do it," I said, patting his arm. "Especially after that glowing report you gave Fury about me." 

 

He grinned, the corners of his eyes crinkling. 

 

"Well, you deserved it. You're working hard and learning well, darling," he said. 

 

"Well, I have an amazing teacher," I replied, smiling. 

 

He chuckled, before reaching out to stroke my hair. 

 

"Do you still love him?" he asked. 

 

"Who?" I asked, not realizing who he was talking about for a moment. 

 

"Steve..." 

 

I stayed silent for a moment, thinking. 

 

"No, I don't," I said, eventually. He nodded. 

 

"Bucky wants me to forgive him, so that the three of us can be together again," I said. There was no point in hiding anything from Stephen, he already knew _everything._ And I needed a confidante. 

 

"But what do _you_ want?" Stephen asked me. 

 

Sighing, I lay down on the floor. Staring up at the ceiling. 

 

"You know, when I was a little girl, all I wanted was what every girl dreams of. A nice house, a loving husband, children. Picket fence and all..." I said, reminiscing. "But now I'm not so sure..." 

 

"What do you want _now,_ Y/N?" Stephen asked me again. 

 

I stared up at the night sky through the huge glass window. "I just want to be _free..."_ I replied, wistfully. 

 

"You need to find out what's best for _you,_ Y/N. You owe that to yourself. And whatever you do, I'll be by your side," he said, placing a kiss on my forehead before getting up and walking out. 

 

On reaching the doorway, he stopped and turned around. "Come on, now, let's make dinner. I'm _starving,"_ he said. 

 

I chuckled before getting up and running after him. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strange is the best.
> 
> Thoughts on this chapter, loves?


	96. Heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's one from Steve's point of view. I know some of you missed him.

Steve's POV 

 

Bucky had asked me to hang out with him and Y/N. _Insisted_ on it, actually. Initially I had tried to avoid the whole situation, but my best friend knew _exactly_ which strings to pull and buttons to push for getting me to agree. 

 

It wasn't rocket science, I knew what Buck was trying to accomplish. He wanted the three of us back together. He had already told me that in no uncertain terms during our many sparring sessions in the past week, while we coached the others. 

 

To be honest, I _wanted_ things to be the way they had been before. I loved Y/N with all my heart and I still do. What she showed me, using her powers has led to plenty of sleepless nights. I find myself awake in my bedroom in the middle of the night, my mind racing, trying to cope. I just _can't_ get her pain out of my mind. No amount of whiskey or soft jazz can lull me back to sleep. 

 

I haven't mentioned my insomnia to Bucky, or to anyone for that matter. But Y/N knows. She _knows,_ I know it. The way she was looking at me at the breakfast table the other day, an expression of pity and pain, I knew that she could tell that I hadn't been sleeping. 

 

"Well, isn't this nice," Bucky said, reclining on a sofa in the common room, a bottle of cold beer in hand. 

 

"Yep, I agree," Clint chimed in from where he was sitting on the floor, with Wanda and Pietro sitting on either side of him. He was showing the twins a video of baby Nathaniel on his phone, who had begun to crawl. 

 

"He's _adorable,"_ Wanda said, her eyes on Clint's phone, laughing at little Nathaniel's antics in the video. 

 

"He's wearing that blue shirt I sent for him, no?" Pietro asked Clint, pointing at the screen. 

 

"Yep, that's the one," he replied, nodding. 

 

"Steve, do you want more beer?" Sharon asked me, walking into the room and plopping down next to me. 

 

"No, I'm good," I said, distractedly. My eyes were on Y/N, who was sitting on an armchair, curled up with a book on her lap. She was writing something in it, her glasses perched on her nose, her hair pulled back into a ponytail. She hadn't spoken a word since she had come in, except for the customary 'hello'. 

 

I was wondering what she was writing, focusing so intently on the words on the pages, that she hadn't even looked up. 

Just then, like she had heard my thoughts, she looked up and caught me staring at her. I immediately lowered my gaze, turning to the movie that Bucky had put on the TV. 

_Shit._

I thought I had gotten off scot-free. But I was wrong. 

 

"What happened to your hand?" Y/N asked me quietly. 

 

I looked at her, momentarily surprised since this was the first time she was addressing me properly, _directly,_ since the night she had showed me her memories. 

 

"Uh, I cut my hand while cooking," I said, knowing full well that she knew how clumsy I was with a kitchen knife. 

 

"It looks pretty bad," she said, setting her pen down, staring intently at me. 

 

"Yeah, I mean, it happened this afternoon. I just bandaged it up..." I trailed off, unsure of where this was going. 

 

She kept her book aside and got up, slowly making her way to me. "Can I take a look at it?" she asked, sitting down on my other side. 

 

I looked at her for a long moment, before glancing at Bucky, who nodded, a small smile on his lips. 

 

"Okay," I said. 

 

Gingerly, Y/N took my hand in hers and I controlled myself from flinching at her touch. I had almost _forgotten_ how her hand felt in mine... 

 

As she was removing the bandage, I shuddered involuntary. "Does it hurt, baby?" Sharon asked, concerned. 

 

"No," I said, looking at Y/N, who's face was unreadable, betraying no emotion. 

 

Once the bandage was off, she placed her hand on top of mine. I winced. 

 

"Just a second," she murmured, closing her eyes, a look of concentration on her face. I felt a sudden warmth seep into my skin, where her hand met mine. It was such a _wonderful_ feeling... 

 

And then she pulled her hand away. I watched as the wound immediately began to heal, the skin and muscle sealing itself. A few seconds later, the wound had all but disappeared, a fading scar the only evidence left behind. 

 

"Th-Thank you..." I said, my voice barely above a whisper. I was stunned. And _proud..._  

 I felt a rush of affection toward her. 

 

"Its okay," she said, smiling sightly, before getting up and making her way back to her chair. 

 

I looked at Bucky who was looking like an _extremely_ proud parent who was seeing his usually quarreling children playing together on the playground. 

 

I rolled my eyes at him.   

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts, loves?


	97. Good Luck, Avengers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers assemble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short one, I'm sorry.

Reader's POV 

 

"Well, this one of the _biggest_ HYDRA facilities I've come across during the recent years, located in Dresden, Germany. We need to neutralize it, we cannot turn a blind eye to it anymore," Fury was saying, to the entire team which had assembled in the conference room. 

Everyone right down to Sam and Sharon were present. 

 

"We're going to need the best possible team to tackle this mission. I'm going to split you into two teams. Captain, you will lead the first team," he said, gesturing to Steve. "Your team will include Barton, Romanoff, Barnes, the Maximoffs and Vision," he said. 

 

"Stark, you will lead the second team. Your team will consist of Wilson, Carter, Thor, Rhodes and Strange. Banner will remain on standby for code green, as per usual protocol." 

 

Tony nodded. 

 

"Wait... _Strange_ is going to be present during the mission?" Steve asked, incredulous. 

 

"Present _and_ participating, Rogers. Trust me, you'll need his help," Fury replied. 

 

"Is it okay for him to be on field with us for such an important mission. I mean, we've _never_ worked with him before. We don't know what his rapport with the team is like..." 

 

"He's going with you all, Rogers. End of discussion." 

 

"Well, what about me?" Peter Parker asked. 

 

"You will not be required for this mission, Parker. Its too dangerous. As for Y/N, you'll be on standby, waiting with Banner," Fury said, turning his attention to me. 

 

"Sir, with all due respect, I want to be in the field," I said, trying to keep the indignation out of my voice. I mean, they were letting _Sharon_ take part in the mission and not me! It just wasn't fair. 

 

"Y/N, listen to me. You're going to be off the field, _only_ to be called in if required. Is that understood?" 

 

I stayed silent, seething. 

 

"Is. That. _Understood?"_ Fury asked again, louder this time. 

 

"Yes, sir," I muttered. 

 

"Alright then, off you go. You have an hour to suit up. The quinjets will be waiting and you will be briefed by your team leaders on the flight to Germany. Any questions?" 

 

When no one said anything, Fury dismissed us. 

 

"Good luck, Avengers." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? What do you want to happen on the mission? Who should get hurt? Will they run into Grant Ward? Give me some plotline inspiration, peeps!


	98. Mission (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission begins.

Reader's POV 

 

I was strapped into my seat on the quinjet, twiddling my thumbs and shaking my leg nervously. To say that I was freaking out had to be the biggest understatement. 

 

Bucky's metal hand came to rest on my thigh. _"Jesus,_ doll, stop shaking your legs. Its going to be fine!" 

 

I looked at him and he gave me a wink and a grin, _completely_ nonchalant about the fact that in a few minutes, he was going to be killing as many HYDRA soldiers he could get his hands on. 

 _How_ does he do that? How do they _all_ do that? 

 

I looked at the other on the jet and everyone seemed really calm and casual. Wanda and Natasha were discussing nail polishes, while Pietro was fussing over which sneakers he was going to wear on the field. 

 

I was the only one who looked so obviously freaked out and out of place. "Its your first mission, Y/N. Being nervous is a natural thing," Bruce said, sitting on my other side. 

 

"Thanks, Bruce. But I'm really scared," I said. He placed his hand on my shoulder. _"Relax,_ Y/N. Most probably the team will handle everything and we won't even be called out on the field!" he said, giving me a smile. I knew he was trying to make me feel better. But when I remained unconvinced and the petrified expression remained frozen on my face, he offered me his headphones. "Here, listen to some opera, you'll feel better." 

 

I was listening to the music when the plane began its descent and my stomach rolled. I groaned. God, I was such a basket case. Total wreck. 

And I had wanted to go out on the field! The _stupidity!_  

Thank god Fury was wise enough to refuse me. 

 

When we landed and left the plane, Strange was waiting for us. Of course he didn't need a flight, since the Sorcerer Supreme could teleport anywhere he wanted to go in a matter of seconds. 

 

"I was wondering when you all will arrive," he said, his deep voice calming my frazzled nerves somewhat. Steve rolled his eyes. 

 

"Not all of us are like you, Doctor," he said. 

 

"Well, _of course_ not," Strange quipped, sarcastically. Steve was about to open his mouth to retort when Tony spoke up.

"All _righty_ then, now that we all have gotten acquainted with each other, let's get down to business, shall we? Rhodey, Carter, Thor, Wilson, follow me. You too, Doctor. We'll give them hell from the west." 

 

Tony's team went with him, leaving Steve with his team. 

 

"Buck, you'll be with Wanda and Pietro, Natasha with Clint. Vision, come with me," he said. "We'll take the eastern side of the facility because that's their more heavily guarded side. 

 

"Good luck, guys," Bruce said. "Call me if you need anything."

 

"All the best," I said. Bucky grinned and pulled his guns out of their holsters. "We'll stay in touch, doll," he said, tapping the communication device that had been plugged into his ear.

 

I gave him a nervous smile. He reached out and ruffled my hair playfully. 

 

And then they were off. 

 

"Come on, Y/N, let's stay in and wait," Bruce said. I nodded and followed him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I'm lacking inspiration regarding the next few chapters. I have a few ideas, but I'm hesitant. We'll see how it goes...


	99. Mission (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 99! Woooohooo!

Reader's POV 

 

The radio was silent for awhile as the teams moved toward the facility. 

 

And suddenly... _All hell broke loose._

 

It was utter chaos. _Pandemonium._ I could hear it all on the radio. 

 

"Cap, we're taking fire here," Tony said and I could hear gunshots in the background. 

 

"These fuckers _knew_ we were coming!" Bucky yelled. 

 

"Clint, stay down and cover Natasha, she's been shot in the arm," Rhodes instructed. 

 

"Give her an anaesthetic for chrissake and get her away from the field, someone!" Sharon screamed. 

 

I felt pure dread grip my heart, just listening to their voices on the transmitter in my ear. 

 

I looked at Bruce. "Do you think we should go in?" I asked. He shook his head. "No, Y/N, they haven't given us an order yet." 

 

"Wanda, _where_ are you?" came Pietro's worried voice. 

 

"I'm in the northeast corridor, Pietro. Viz is with me, don't worry," she replied to her brother. 

 

I hadn't heard a world from Stephen yet, which worried me. 

 

 _Stephen, are you alright?_ I asked him through telepathy. 

 

_I'm fine, darling. Don't worry._

 

"I'm bringing Romanoff to the quinjet, Y/N can heal her," Clint said and I suddenly became alert at the sound of my name on the comm. 

 

"Bring her in," I replied. 

 

It took Clint a few minutes to bring Natasha in. She had a gunshot wound in her right shoulder. The bullet had gone through and through. She was a little drowsy due to the anaesthetic injection Clint had given her. I used my powers to heal her. 

 

Clint returned to the field, while Bruce and I carried Nat to a makeshift bed, making her lie down there. 

 

"We have code green. I repeat, we have _code green,"_ Steve said and Bruce looked at me, worried. 

 

"Look after her, I gotta go," he said. I nodded. 

 

I sat with Natasha, watching Bruce break into a sprint, out into the field where he morphed into the Hulk and began to demolish every tank or bunker in sight, beating up HYDRA soldiers left right and center. 

 

"Guys, I've reached the core of the facility. I'm going in," Steve's voice came over the transmission. 

 

"Do you have backup?" Bucky asked, concerned. 

 

"Negative," he replied. 

 

"Then wait, you little punk. I'm coming. Just _wait,"_ Bucky told Steve, grunting. 

 

"Cap, wait for backup. We'll be there in five minutes," Tony said. 

 

"It'll be too late by then, I'm going in," Steve said. 

 

Bucky cursed. 

 

Suddenly, there was a loud, screeching noise in my ear and I winced. The transmitter in my ear was malfunctioning, it seemed. I took it out, turned it off and switched it back on again. 

 

"Hello, guys? Can anyone hear me?" I asked. 

 

No response. Total silence. 

 

 _Stephen, what's going on?_ I asked, using telepathy. 

 

_It seems like our sides' the intercom system has been disabled, Y/N._

 

 _How_ had this happened? It was incredibly frustrating for me to not be able to know what was going on in the field. 

 

The silence stretched on and on and on. It was _deafening,_ just a loud ringing in my ears. 

 

And then I _felt_ it...

 

A sudden blow of excruciating pain. And a voice. In my head. 

 

 _Y/_ _N_...

 

_Steve..._

 

Oh, God. 

 

I was off like a bolt, running as _fast_ as my feet could take me. I ran and ran, uncaring of the chaos and violence raging all around me. 

 

"Y/N, what are you doing?!?!?" I heard Bucky shouting somewhere in the distance. 

 

If anyone, soldier, bunker, whatever came in my way, I instinctively pushed it away, aside, _repelled_ it with telekinesis. 

 

I _had_ to reach him. He was in pain...

 

_Y/N..._

 

He was _hurt,_ I could tell. I could feel his pain as if it was my own. My eyes were blurry with hot tears as I ran, faster than I ever had in my life, following the sound of his voice in my head, letting it guide me through the intricately built facility...

 

I burst through the door and there he was. Lying on the floor in a pool of blood. His helmet was off, his face bruised. He had multiple gunshot wounds, all _weeping_ blood. And he was all alone. It was déjà vu. Barcelona all over again...

 

"Steve. _Steve!_ Look at me!" I said, my voice frantic, kneeling on the floor beside him. 

 

His eyes were open. They found me. The bright crystal blue...

 

"Y/N... You _came..."_ he mumbled, giving me a weak smile. 

 

"Yeah, Stevie. I came... Just hold on, okay? _Please..."_ I said, placing my hands on his chest, concentrating. 

 

I summoned my life force, willing it to heal him. The trickling warmth flowed from my hands, into him. 

He gasped. 

 

"Y/N..." 

 

I closed my eyes, letting my power flow _into_ him, allowing it to seek his wounds, allowing it to heal him...

 

He was hurt badly. But I could feel the strength gradually return to him. I could feel his bleeding stop as the wounds sealed themselves seamlessly. 

 

But as I felt him grow stronger... I became _weaker..._

 

I began to feel dizzy. I steadied myself and held on to him. He hadn't healed completely yet. I couldn't break contact just yet...

 

I held on, feeling my strength leave me. _Let it heal him... Let me heal him..._

 

He gasped again, returning to lucidity. "Y/N," he said, his voice normal, his hands grasping mine. I felt myself swaying, feeling faint, light headed... 

 

The giant window shattered, raining glass upon the floor as Bucky and Tony burst into the room. 

 

Unable to hold on any longer, I felt myself collapse onto the floor, beside Steve. 

 

The last thing I remember before slipping into darkness was seeing Stephen's face above mine. 

"Rest, darling." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you want chapter 100 to be? And don't worry, this isn't the end...


	100. Welcome Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 100! Man...

Reader's POV 

 

I felt terrible. So _weak_ and exhausted. Opening my eyes felt like a colossal effort. I could feel the bright sunlight against my closed eyelids. I groaned. 

My head was _throbbing_ with pain. 

 

I became aware of a light hand on my forehead, gently smoothing my hair away from my face. 

"Welcome back, darling..." 

 

I slowly opened my eyes to see Stephen sitting beside my bed in a chair. He was wearing a blue button up shirt and black pants. He looked so out of place, without his usual blue tunic and red cloak. I chuckled softly. 

 

"What's so amusing?" he asked, grinning at my laugh. 

 

"Nothing... You look... You look good..." I said, my voice groggy. He chuckled. "With my cloak, I was _slightly_ overdressed for the hospital, you see." 

 

I nodded, looking around. "How's Steve? Where's Bucky?" 

 

"They're all doing well. The Captain is fine. Fit as a fiddle. Same for Barnes," Stephen replied, giving me a glass of cold water which I gulped down greedily. 

 

"How long was I out?" I asked, handing him my empty glass. 

 

"Four days." 

 

I was shocked. Seeing my expression Stephen smiled wryly. "Come on, you saved the man from certain death with your own energy. It had _drained_ you completely when we found you." 

 

"Who...who attacked Steve?" 

 

"It was Brock Rumlow. And Grant Ward. Both of them have been captured. They are in custody at the RAFT prison as we speak. That Ward does know how to put up a fight," Stephen said, wincing slightly as he moved his left arm. 

 

"What happened to you?" I asked, worried. 

 

"Its nothing, Y/N," he said, trying to sound nonchalant. 

 

 _"Stephen._ What is it?" I asked sternly. 

 

"I was shot. By Ward." 

 

I felt a sudden wave of anger, which must've shown on my face because he said, "Hey, hey, I'm fine!" 

 

"Take off your shirt." 

 

 _"Excuse me?"_ he asked, incredulous, his blue eyes wide. 

 

"You _heard_ me, take off your shirt, Stephen," I said, more insistently this time. 

 

He stayed unmoving, still as a stone. 

"Nope, not doing it." 

 

"Do you want me to undress you using telekinesis?" I asked him. 

 

"No, _no!_ Fine! I'm doing it!" he said, panicked. His hands flew to his shirt, unbuttoning it. 

 

When he discarded his shirt, I saw that his left upper arm and shoulder had been bandaged up. 

Also, this was the first time I was seeing him without a shirt. He was all lean and muscled, something I hadn't been able to notice under the cloak and tunic he usually wore. I mean, he had _abs_ for God's sake! 

 

"You've got a funny look of your face..." he mumbled, raising his eyebrow. 

 

I cleared my throat. "You're obviously very hurt, Stephen. Also, you're _very_ well built. For a man of your age, I mean." 

 

 _"A man of my age?"_ he asked, amused. 

 

I nodded. He chuckled. 

 

"Anyway, why did you ask me to undress so suddenly, Y/N?" 

 

I snapped out of my daze. "Oh, yeah. Turn around." 

 

It took him a moment to understand what a was asking. "No, no. _Absolutely not!_ You were out for four days! No healing." 

 

"Stephen, _please!"_ I insisted, my voice rising an octave. "Come on!" 

 

I tried to sit up but failed. "Turn around and _come_ here!" I pleaded, holding my hand out.

 

He looked at me for a long moment, contemplating.

Finally, he obliged, turning around with a sigh. 

 

I placed my hand on his shoulder. He winced. 

 

 _"Honestly,_ Y/N, you don't need to do this..." 

 

"Stephen, shut up. Let me focus." 

 

He fell silent, his shoulders shaking as he chuckled quietly. 

 

Smiling at his behavior, I closed my eyes, concentrating, letting the warm energy trickle from my hand into his shoulder, healing his wounds. 

He gasped. 

 

I kept my hand on him for a long moment, until I was sure that his wounds had healed. Then, I pulled away, feeling a little weak. 

 

"There you go, Doctor," I said. 

 

He turned back around, moving his shoulder experimentally. He didn't wince or show any hint of pain. 

 

"Thank you, darling," he said, reaching for his discarded shirt. 

 

 _"Wait!"_ I exclaimed and he froze. "Now what?" he asked warily.

 

"Just a second. Stand up and turn around again, please." 

 

He sighed, but did as I asked. 

 

Stifling a laugh, I raised my hand into the air, summoning my energy. Waving my hand in the air, I removed his bandages using telekinesis. The gauze unravelled itself and fell to the floor, revealing his fully healed back. 

 

"Yep, I did well," I said, chuckling. 

 

He looked highly amused when he turned around. 

 

"Satisfied?" he asked, holding his arms out. 

 

"Oh, _very,"_ I said, winking. 

 

Both of us burst out laughing. 

 

That's when the door opened and Wanda, Bucky and Steve walked in. 

 

"Oh, _my..."_ Wanda gasped, staring at a shirtless Stephen Strange. "Are we interrupting something?" 

 

A blush rose in my cheeks. Stephen hastily put on his shirt. 

 

 _"Jesus,_ doll, you should've called me!" Bucky said teasingly, grinning wickedly. 

 

 _"Shut up,_ Bucky!" I screeched, using my powers to throw pillows at him. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, guys, I'm totally obsessed with Benedict Cumberbatch as Stephen Strange. Don't judge me.


	101. Awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve meets the Reader after she wakes up.

Steve's POV

 

To say that I was stunned to see Y/N with a shirtless Stephen Strange standing near her hospital bed was a grave understatement. 

 

I felt a sudden _surge_ of jealousy, and I was only dimly aware of Bucky teasing Y/N playfully, which caused her to toss pillows at him. Stephen got dressed, rather flustered, and Wanda was quite red in the face beside me as well. 

 

"Uh, Wanda, why don't you show Doctor Strange out?" I told her, quietly. She looked at me, snapping out of her daze. "Oh, yeah, sure..." 

 

Strange excused himself and I watched him go as Wanda tried to chat with him, something that he completely ignored. 

 

"Uh, hi, guys," Y/N's quiet voice made me turn my attention back to her. 

 

"Doll, what was _that?"_ Bucky asked, walking over to her, giving her a kiss on the cheek, before plopping down on the chair that had been occupied by Strange previously. 

 

"I was healing his wound, Bucky. Nothing funny. He was shot in the arm!" she exclaimed. 

 

"Uh, hi, Y/N," I said, cringing internally at how awkward I sounded. 

 

She smiled at me. It was a _guarded,_ formal sort of a smile, nothing like the radiant ones that I had always known...

 

"You look better..." I said, trying desperately to break the ice. She did look well, even though she had dark circles under her eyes. She was weak, I could tell. But at least she was _awake._  

 

"Thanks, Steve. Are those for me?" she asked, pointing at a bouquet of daisies I had in my hand, which I had completely forgotten about. 

 

"Oh, yeah..." I said, walking over to her and handing the flowers to her. 

 

"Thank you," she said, taking the bouquet. 

 

I looked at Bucky and he was watching our exchange with a rather pained look. He glared at me, silently ordering me to keep talking. 

 

"Y/N," I began, hesitantly. "I just... I wanted to thank you for saving my life on the field there. You don't know how grateful I am..." I trailed off, unsure of what to say, even though my mind was _screaming_ at me to tell her what I _really_ felt. 

 

_I love you. I miss you. I'm sorry. I want you back. I love you so much, Y/N. I need you..._

 

Her eyes went wide and for a moment I thought that she had _heard_ me. 

 

"Its okay, Steve. You don't have to thank me. I did what I thought was right..." she said, her voice impeccably courteous, completely devoid of any emotion. Her face was unreadable. A mask. 

 

I decided that it was best if I took my leave. But as I was about to open my mouth to excuse myself, Y/N spoke up. "How are things with Sharon?" 

 

For a second, I wasn't sure why she was asking me that. 

 

"Uh, things are okay, I guess. I mean, its not like we're _together_ or anything. What I mean is...we're not dating, if that's what your asking," I rambled on. 

 

Bucky looked like he was one step away from covering his face with his hands, looking utterly _mortified._

 

"Oh, okay," Y/N replied. "I was just...asking." 

 

I nodded. 

 

"Well, I think I'll leave you two to it, then," I said, standing up. 

 

Bucky glared at me. "Stay for a while, _Steven._ I need to talk to you." 

 

I cleared my throat. "Uh, you know what, Buck, I wanted to have a talk with Pietro and Wanda about training. I'll see you later, okay?" I said. 

 

And before Bucky could physically throw himself in front of the door to stop me, I bolted out of the room. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me your thoughts, loves.


	102. Locker Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve having a chat in the locker room.

Steve's POV 

 

"JESUS FUCKING _CHRIST,_ STEVE!" Bucky yelled at me as soon as he cornered me up in the locker room of the training center. 

 

I sighed. "What is it, Buck?" 

 

 _"Why_ can't you be a man and fucking own up to Y/N, huh? _Why_ can't you tell her that you love her which you so obviously do?" he said angrily, a vein throbbing at his temple. 

 

I sighed again. "I _can't,_ Buck. I mean, even if I do, I'm sure she's going to reject me all over again. And I don't think I can handle that..." 

 

Bucky inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself. 

"Stevie. She _loves_ you. You hurt her and now she's trying to hurt you back for the pain you caused. But deep down she _loves_ you, man!" 

 

I looked at him, frowning. 

"She said that to you?" I asked him. 

 

He rolled his eyes. "No, of _course_ not. But that's just the way the female mind _works,_ buddy. They want you to beg and grovel before they let their guard down." 

 

I looked at him, amused. "And you're an expert on the female mind, huh?" I scoffed. 

 

"Well, _yeah._ Don't you remember how doll crazy I was back in the day? I've seen my fair share, _Steven._ I know what Y/N wants." 

 

I opened up my locker to take out my training shoes. 

On the door of the locker, I had taped up a few photographs of the three of us. Bucky, Y/N and me. One where we had all gone to a fair and Bucky and I had a go at the shooting stall, trying to win the biggest teddy bear for Y/N. God, I don't know if she still _had_  those bears... 

 

Then there was another photograph where the three of us were just lying down in a park, after an afternoon picnic. That one was a selfie I had taken. Then there were a few shots of Y/N at her desk, in the lab. Her long hair scraped up into a bun, glasses perched on her nose as she typed something on the computer. And one where she was reading a book. _Great Expectations_ by Charles Dickens, one of her favorites...

 

"Stevie, I _know_ you love her. Just tell her. Do me a favor and _tell_ her, okay?" Bucky said, standing beside me, staring at the photographs with a smile on his face. 

 

"I'll try, Buck, I'll try," I promised, closing my locker and changing up for our training session. "I just need some time..." 

 

Bucky punched my shoulder lightly. "I wish I could beat some sense into you, punk. But I love you too much..."  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is so precious. My baby.


	103. Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm just going to let you read this first...

Reader's POV 

 

I groaned at the feeling of the sunlight streaming in through the wall to wall window. Pulling the blanket over my head, I turned away from the light. 

 

"FRIDAY, cut off the light for _God's_ sake..." I groaned, feeling a nasty throb in my head. 

 

"But, Miss Y/N, its such a lovely day and-" the AI began to speak but I cut her off. "Do it, FRIDAY. I _mean_ it." 

 

"As you wish, Miss Y/N." The blinds closed, cutting off the annoyingly bright sunlight. 

 

I sighed in relief, pulling the blanket off my face. I looked at the time, it was almost 12 noon. _Jesus._  

 

I had slept in, for quite a while. But I still felt so tired _and...unwell._  

 

Bucky was nowhere to be seen, which was understandable, since he was an early riser. He must be training or doing something in the recreation area, I figured. 

 

Slowly, I willed myself to get up and sit up in bed. It seemed like a _massive_ effort, my muscles aching terribly. Also, I was drenched in cold sweat. I felt like a bad fever was coming on. Which was weird, considering my healing abilities, I didn't think I could fall sick. But apparently, I _could._  

 

My throat felt raw and sore and I walked to the kitchen, taking baby steps, getting myself a bottle of water which I chugged down immediately. 

 

I sat down on the nearest couch, still clad in my nightwear, a black camisole with matching shorts. 

It was midday and I was _still_ in my pyjamas. Such a put together life I had. 

I was figuring out what to do with my day, skimming idly through a magazine, but I felt so _awful_ that I decided that a shower and changing clothes really didn't seem like worth the effort. 

 

"Miss Y/N, Mr. Stark and Captain Rogers request entry to your apartment," FRIDAY's voice startled me, making me jump. 

 

"Uh, yeah, send them in, FRIDAY," I said. 

 

I heard their approaching footsteps before I saw Tony appear in the doorway. 

"Good morning, sleepy head! I brought you some breakfast since you didn't show up and- HOLY _MOTHER OF GOD YOU LOOK TERRIBLE_!" 

 

I smiled weakly. "Thanks, Tony." 

 

He placed the tray of food he had in his hands on the coffee table. Scrambled eggs, sausages, toast and orange juice. 

 

I smiled at Tony at the sweet gesture, taking a piece of toast and the glass of juice. I took a sip of the juice. "So what brings you two here?" 

 

Tony sat down on the couch next to me, while Steve chose to sit on another chair in front of me. 

 

"Well, you were scheduled to show up for an early morning training session with us. Since you didn't show, we thought we'll check up on you," Tony said, taking a piece of toast for himself. 

 

 _Ugh._ The training. I had forgotten. 

 

"I'm sorry, guys," I said, between a mouthful of toast. 

 

"Its okay, kid. You look like hell," Tony said, ruffling my hair playfully. His expression changed when he touched me. He placed his hand on my forehead. _"God,_ Y/N, you're burning up!" 

 

"Yeah, I think I might be coming down with a fever or something. I don't feel so good..." 

 

 _"Rest,"_ Steve said quietly, his blue eyes fixed on me intently. 

 

I nodded. "I think I'll just eat this and go back to bed. Thanks for the breakfast, Tony."

 

He smiled. "No problem, kiddo. You eat, take rest. I'm gonna go get some medicines sent up for you, okay? And I'll send Frosty over too..." he said, standing up and placing a kiss on my forehead before walking off, leaving me with Steve. 

 

There was a long, awkward silence. Then Steve spoke up. "Y/N, is there anything I can do for you?" he asked, genuinely concerned. _But then, hadn't he shown concern before, only to break his word later on?_

 

"I'm _fine,_ Steve," I said, rather harshly. He winced. 

 

"Y/N, _please._ It doesn't have to be this way."

 

"Then what way do you _want_ it to be, huh, Steve? That I should rush into your arms, forgetting everything that has happened, proclaiming my eternal and undying love for you? Is _that_ what you want?" I asked, anger seeping into my voice. 

 

His eyes went wide with hurt and for a moment I felt bad, like I had gone too far. Crossed a line. _But hadn't he crossed lines before?_

 

I got up from the couch, trying to keep myself steady as my head throbbed with pain. Walking to the kitchen, with the breakfast tray in hand, I set it down on the counter. Steve followed close behind me. 

I could feel his presence behind me, his body radiating that familiar warmth as he stood a little _too close_ to me. 

 

"Go _away,_ Steve," I said, refusing to turn around to look at him. 

 

He stayed right where he was, unmoving. 

 

"Get _out,"_ I said, louder this time. 

 

His hand grasped my wrist and he spun me around to face him. 

"I want you to look at _me_ when I'm talking to you," he said, his voice low, eyes blazing.

 

I wrenched my hand from his grasp and walked as fast as I could, away from him. 

His arm came around my waist and he turned me around, pinning me to the wall behind me. 

 

"What th-" 

 

His lips came crashing down on mine, pressing against mine, rough and _demanding._ I tried to push him away, but in my weakened state, he overpowered me easily. His arms held me close, pressing the entire length of his body to mine. He wove a hand into my hair, gripping at the roots as he coaxed my lips apart. It was _too much._ The sensations were overwhelming. His tongue slipped into my mouth, finding mine. I moaned softly, _hating_ myself for giving in. At the sound, he pulled me closer, my breasts pressing against his chest as he _deepened_ the kiss. And suddenly, I was kissing him back, my hands gripping at his golden hair. I hated myself for it, yet I _couldn't_ resist his _touch,_ his _taste,_ all so _familiar..._  

 

A sudden realization hit me and I caught myself, pulling away from the kiss. He was panting, his hair disheveled, lips swollen. "Y/N, I've _missed_ you. _I love you_..." he said, his voice breaking as he spoke. He was placing kisses against my neck, warm and open mouthed, his stubble scratching deliciously against my skin, one finger sliding down the strap of my camisole down my shoulder...

 

I pushed him away and slapped him, as hard as I could. 

"You're a liar, Steve. Get. _Out."_  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of this chapter, my loves? Where do you want it to go from here...?


	104. You Idiots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, here you go, loves!

Steve's POV 

 

"You're a liar, Steve. Get. _Out,"_ Y/N said, her voice sharp as a whip. 

 

I was about to open my mouth to respond when I heard the door open and I turned around to see Bucky standing there. 

 

"Doll, Stark told me you weren't feeling well and- _what's going on here?"_ he asked, pointing at us. 

 

"I _told_ her, I told her how I felt..." I began. 

 

Bucky's eyes went wide. _"And?"_  

 

"And I _don't_ want to be with him..." Y/N finished, walking out of the room in a huff. 

 

Bucky and I looked at each other for a long moment before following her. 

 

"Doll, _wait_ up!" Bucky said, reaching out to hold her hand, stopping her. 

 

"What? _What_ is it, Bucky?" she said, turning around. I could see the tears welling up in her eyes. "I _know_ you want things to go back to the way they were, Bucky. The three of us together, I know. But I can't do it, don't you _get_ that? I... I'm _trying_ to forgive him. But I _just...can't..."_ she said, her voice breaking. 

 

Bucky placed his hands on her shoulders. "Y/N, sit down and listen to me, okay? Just _listen,"_ he said, guiding her to sit down on one of the couches. "You sit down too, Stevie. We need to talk this out." 

 

I sat down, sighing. I knew this wasn't going to end well. 

 

"Now, I'm _telling_ you both, _stop fighting,_ okay? The tension between you two is driving me _mad_ here," Bucky said, plopping down on a chair in front of us. 

 

"What tension are you talking about?" I asked. "I'm willing to cooperate..." I muttered, trailing off when Y/N glared at me. 

 

 _"'What tension?'_ Are you fucking _kidding_ me, Stevie? One moment you two are at each other's _throats,_ the next you're _kissing_ and then not even _looking_ each other for _days!_ I mean, you're worse than teenagers these days!" Bucky practically yelled. I winced. 

 

"We _did not_ kiss, James," Y/N said, her voice strained. 

 

Bucky grinned at her. "Of _course_ you didn't, doll. Do you think I'm an idiot? I rush here straight after training when Stark tells me that you're unwell and what do I find? You two yelling at each other, hair all messy and lips swollen. I _know_ you two. You kissed. _Stop lying_ to me. Oh, and Y/N, please pull up that strap of your camisole, its distracting me." 

 

Y/N silently pulled the camisole strap up her shoulder, a slight blush rising in her cheeks. 

I averted Bucky's eyes. 

 

 _"Aha!_ You kissed!" he exclaimed, his face positively gleeful. 

 

"Shut up, Bucky. Is that why you made us sit here?" Y/N asked. 

 

"Y/N, listen to me, okay? You love him and that's the truth. As much as you deny it, its _obvious_ that you love him. _Why_ are you resisting it, huh?" Bucky asked her, reaching out to place his hand on hers. "Give him a chance, doll." 

 

She looked up, directly at me, her eyes boring into mine. "I don't want to get _hurt_ again..." she said, her voice breaking. In that moment, she looked so _vulnerable_ that I felt my heart break. 

 

"I _won't_ hurt you, Y/N. I've been a fool, I know. But I can't live without you two..." I said, getting up and sitting down next to her. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I know you care for me, _why else_ would you save my life? _Please_ give me a chance..." I said, reaching out to stroke her hair. 

 

She looked at me for a long moment and I braced myself for yet another rejection. But with a sob, she flung her arms around me. I was _stunned_ for a moment, unsure of whether this was _really_ happening. 

 

 _"Stevie..._ I _missed_ you..." she whispered, burying her face into my neck. I closed my eyes, pulling her closer, wrapping my arms around her. "I _love_ you, Y/N. I love you _so much..."_ I kissed her, feeling her tears on my face. We broke apart after what felt like a really long time. I looked at Bucky and he had a goofy grin on his face. 

 

 _"What?"_ Y/N asked. 

 

"Nothing, you _idiots,"_ he replied, pulling the two of us into a hug. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who wants some reunion smut?


	105. Reunited...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill me

Reader's POV 

 

The moment Bucky released us from his hug, Steve pulled me into a kiss. I had almost forgotten how _soft_ his lips were...

 

I moaned when his tongue slipped into my mouth, meeting mine. My fingers grasped at his hair, pulling him closer. We kissed and _kissed_ until I became breathless. Pulling away from him, I became aware of the slight tingling around my mouth where his stubble had chafed my skin. 

"You _really_ shouldn't shave, Stevie. I like you better this way..." I gasped. 

 

He grinned deviously. "I've missed you _so much,_ Y/N," he said, placing kisses along my neck. I giggled when his stubble tickled a particularly sensitive spot. He chuckled. 

 

I turned around, holding my hand out to Bucky. "Come here," I beckoned him forward. He stayed unmoving, a shit eating grin plastered on his face. "I just want to _watch_ you two for this round," he said, winking. 

 

I was about to protest, but Steve distracted me by cupping my face and pulling me into another kiss. He kissed me deeply, and I arched into his touch instinctively, feeling that familiar heat begin to pool between my legs. He nipped at my bottom lip, making me moan, his hands slipping the straps of my top down my shoulders... 

 

And that's when I felt a _sudden_ stab of pain. Gasping, I pushed Steve away, doubling over with pain. 

 

" _Y/_ _N_! What's wrong?" Steve asked, panicked and bewildered. 

 

I clutched my head, gripping my hair at the roots, crying out as _searing hot_ pain burst through my head. 

 

Through the pain, I heard a very familiar voice call out my name. 

 

_Y/N. Help me._

 

"Its S-Stephen..." I gasped. 

 

"What's wrong, baby? _Talk_ to us!" Bucky said, his hands on my face, making me look at him. 

 

"He's...he's _hurt..._ Stephen. I have to help him..." I whispered, tears blurring my vision. 

 

And then, as suddenly as the pain had appeared, it _vanished_ without a trace. 

 

I slumped down on the couch, shivering. 

"Y/N, look at me, what do you need?" Steve asked. 

 

"I have to find him," I said, forcing myself to stand up on shaky legs. I rushed to my bedroom and changed quickly, before grabbing the keys of my car. 

 

"I'm _sorry,_ I really have to go," I said, apologetically. _"Wait!_ We'll come too!" Bucky said, standing up. 

 

"No! You stay here, I'll call you if I need you, okay?" I said, breaking into a run to reach the elevator. 

 

I had to get to the Sanctum. _Now._  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you REALLY think I was going to give you the reunion smut chapter this easily?   
> *evil laugh*


	106. Demonic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How far will you go to bring back someone you love?

Reader's POV 

 

I drove as fast as I could, weaving through the New York traffic. My heart was pounding away madly inside my chest, my palms sweaty with anxiety as I gripped the steering wheel. 

 

My car screeched to a halt in front of the Sanctum and I got down, running as fast as I could. 

 

"Stephen!!!" I called out, the moment I burst through the double door entrance. There was complete silence. 

 

I ran from room to room, calling out for him, until I reached the core meditation room of the sanctum. There he was, lying motionless on the floor, in the middle of a _pentagram_ shaped pattern that had been burned into the pristine marble floor. 

 

"Stephen!" I ran over to him, kneeling down beside him. His blue eyes were wide open, pupils dilated fully, staring up, _unseeing._  

 

His face was covered in bruises and cuts that were weeping blood. His usual blue tunic was stained with blood, coming from a wound in his chest. 

 

I felt tears welling up in my eyes at seeing him like _this._ I felt his neck for a pulse. It was weak, _waning._  

 

The moment I touched him, he inhaled sharply. 

 

" _Y/N_." 

 

His voice was barely above a whisper. 

 

"I'm here, Stephen. I'm _here,"_ I said, grasping his hand. 

 

 _"D-Dormammu._.." he gasped, his eyes finding mine. 

 

 _"What?_ Stephen, talk to me, please..." 

 

 _"Help_ me... B-Bring me back..." 

 

He used his remaining strength to grip my hand. And through his touch, I entered his mind. 

 

And that's when I saw what had happened...

 

_He had been meditating. He was attacked by a malevolent entity. A demon residing in another dimension. His name was Dormammu. He had done this to Stephen..._

 

_Stephen had fought back, but the demon was too strong for him. He used Stephen's life force to manifest in a physical form, causing harm to him..._

 

I pulled myself out of Stephen's mind, back to reality. 

He was without a pulse now, his eyes still open. Almost like he was...

_Gone._

 

_No. I couldn't let it happen..._

I placed my hand on his forehead and concentrated. I _had_ to bring him back, at least to optimum physical health. I was doubtful about having enough energy in me to restore his _mind,_ his _soul,_ which the demon had detached from his body. But I had to _try._  

 

I closed my eyes and allowed my energy to flow into him. I held onto him for a long moment, my other hand on his neck, feeling for a pulse. 

Just when I thought that my efforts weren't going to yield anything, I felt a feeble pulse. I exhaled in relief, feeling his pulse return _slowly,_ as his heart began to beat again. He remained unconscious, and I knew that he wouldn't return until I helped his soul _return_ to his body. And for that, I had to cross over to the _other_ side...

 

As it had been with Steve, I felt my energy waning, growing lesser with each passing second... I began to feel faint, like I was going to collapse any second. My vision grew dark along the edges, pure exhaustion taking over. I felt myself _shutting down._ But this was the _only_ way to resurrect Stephen. 

 

I had to bring his soul back from the astral plane. And to go to another dimension, I was going to have to leave this one.

 _The soul is eternal_ , he had told me. 

I _wasn't_ going to leave him alone there. I _couldn't._ He had helped me back to my feet when I was at my _weakest,_ when I had lost all hope. It was under his care and encouragement that I flourished. He had taught me to use my powers for good and it was my duty to bring him back from the clutches of the demon. I _owed_ that to him. He was my friend... _No..._ He had become _more_ than...

 

Realizing that I had only seconds before I went away, I mustered my remaining strength to contact Bucky and Steve using telepathy. 

 

_Bucky, Steve, I need your help. Find Jemma Simmons. Tell her to find us in the Sanctum. She'll know what to do..._

 

I gasped, feeling light headed. Shuddering, I collapsed on the floor beside Stephen. With a trembling hand, I reached out and grasped his, lacing my fingers through his. 

 

I _had_ to go to the other side to bring him back. And the prospect of losing my own life in the process didn't scare me anymore. I felt a sense of _peace_ wash over me as I sank into darkness. 

 

_He was waiting for me on the other side. And so were my children..._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh, Bucky and Steve are not going to like this, huh? 
> 
> What about you? Thoughts?


	107. Till Death Do Us Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve rush to the Sanctum.

Steve's POV 

 

 _No amount_ of training in the battlefield can prepare you for the situation Bucky and I were in. Y/N had told us that she'd call us when she'd need us. 

 

I rushed to find Jemma the moment I heard Y/N's voice. The three of us were going to the Sanctum. 

Bucky was driving like a _madman,_ his face furrowed in concentration as put the car into full acceleration. 

 

Jemma Simmons looked like she was about to be carsick from Bucky's driving. 

 

"Jemma, are you alright?" I asked her. She looked at me and nodded weakly. 

 

 _"Jesus,_ Buck, careful!" I exclaimed when Bucky almost, almost knocked down a pedestrian crossing the road. 

 

"Shut up, _Steven._ Just _shut up,"_ he growled, his hands clenching the steering wheel so hard that I thought it was going to snap under his grip. 

 

As the car screeched to a halt in front of the Sanctum, I saw that Y/N's car was parked outside.  

 

"She's still here, let's go!" I said, getting down from the car and slamming the door shut. The three of us rushed into the Sanctum Sanctorum, running as fast as we could. 

 

"Y/N!" we called out, searching frantically for her, going from room to room. 

 

We finally found the innermost room of the Sanctum. It looked like some sort of a meditation room... 

 

_And there they were._

 

Y/N and Strange. Lying in the middle of a pentagram, _motionless._  

 

" _Y/N_!" Bucky yelled, rushing over to her, falling to his knees beside her. "Oh my _god..."_  

 

I kneeled down beside him, in a daze. 

"Y/N, doll, _wake_ up!" Bucky was saying, cradling her head in his lap. He looked close to tears. 

"She's so cold..." 

 

That's when I noticed her hand which was clutching Strange's. Fingers intertwined. 

 

"She was trying to _heal_ him, Buck..." I mumbled. He seemed to ignore me, feeling her neck for a pulse.

 

"I can't feel her pulse.... I _can't_ feel a pulse!" Bucky exclaimed, _desperately,_ looking at Jemma who had been standing as still as a stone behind us, _shocked._  

 

"Jemma! _Do_ something!" 

 

She snapped out of her daze at my voice, fumbling in her pockets for her phone. She pulled it out and dialed a number. 

 

"H-Hello? Mr. Stark? There's been a situation... Could you arrange for two hyperbaric chambers to be brought to the Sanctum Sanctorum on Bleecker Street? _Yes..._ Yes, sir. Okay," she said before hanging up and rushing to where we were. 

 

"Y/N, doll, _wake_ up... Wake up for _God's sake!"_ Bucky sobbed, shaking her, tears streaming from his eyes.

 

Jemma too had tears in her eyes as she kneeled down beside Strange. "He has a feeble pulse. He...He's fading _fast..._ I don't know what happened here. Did Y/N tell you what had happened before coming here?" Jemma asked me. 

 

I shook my head, staring at Y/N's lifeless form. 

Just a few hours ago, she had been kissing me. And here she was... _What sort of a cruel game was this?_

 

Tears stung my eyes. I grasped her other hand. Her skin felt so _cold,_ her hand limp in my grip. 

 

Just then, Iron Man burst through the door, and it looked like he was carrying something with him. A box.

 

"Fucking _hell,"_ Tony said, as the suit's mask came off, kneeling down beside Strange. "What _happened?"_  

 

"I... I don't know, Mr. Stark. We found them like this when we came here. Strange has lost his pulse as well... I don't know what to do..." Jemma said helplessly. 

 

"Well, I've got the Iron Legion bringing two hyperbaric chambers here. I've got two defibrillators with me... _Here..."_ he said, handing Jemma one of the two portable defibrillators he had been carrying. 

"For _heaven's_ sake, get a grip on yourself Simmons. You work on Y/N, I'll take Strange." 

 

"Y-Yes, sir..." Jemma said, quickly wiping the tears away from her eyes, taking a defibrillator. 

 

"Alright, you two, step aside, let us work..." Tony said, addressing Bucky and me. Bucky seemed reluctant to let go of Y/N. I placed a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, Buck. _Move,_ let them work..." I coaxed him, wiping my own tears away. 

He moved away slowly, dazed, his eyes never leaving Y/N.

 

The two of us watched the scene unfold in front of us, almost as if it was in slow motion. Y/N was being tended to by Jemma, Strange by Tony. 

 

"Alright, one, two, three... _Clear!"_ Tony said, pressing the charged leads to Strange's chest. He felt for a pulse. "No pulse..." 

 

"One, two, three! _C-Clear!"_ Jemma said, shakily pressing the leads to Y/N's chest. Her body jolted with the shock. "No pulse..." 

 

"Try again," Tony said, charging the leads for Strange for a second time. Jemma nodded and tried again. 

 

"N-No pulse..." she whispered. 

 

"Nothing here either..." Tony said, worry creasing his face. "FRIDAY, where the _fuck_ is the Iron Legion?" he asked his AI. "Try one last time, Jemma." 

 

She nodded. "Yes, sir. One, two, three... _Clear!"_  

 

I looked at Bucky, he had a hand over his mouth, his eyes streaming tears. 

 

"No pulse, sir..." Jemma said. 

 

Tony shook his head, putting down the defibrillator. "He's unresponsive too..." he said, looking at Strange. 

 

I felt a sudden rage boil over. "NO! _NO..._ Try again! Do it _again!_ Bring her _back!"_ I yelled, losing whatever little composure I had left. 

 

"They're not coming back this way, Cap. They're _clinically_ dead. We need the hyperbaric chambers now. That's their only hope..." Tony said, sounding resigned. 

 

The Iron Legion flew in just then, carrying the hyperbaric chambers. 

 

Setting them down on the floor, they opened them up. 

 

"Come on... Put them in..." Tony said, lifting up Strange's body using the strength of his suit. 

 

I nodded, lifting Y/N into my arms and carrying her to one of the chambers. I lay her down in it, gently smoothing her hair away from her face. 

 

One of Tony's Legion suits pressed a button on the chamber and the glass door of the chamber closed shut. 

 

"Alright, Legion. Let's get them back to the Tower..." Tony commanded them. 

 

Bucky and I watched as the Legion suits lifted up the chambers, floating up into the air, taking the bodies of Y/N and Strange. 

 

 _"Come on,_ guys. We'll need you back at the Tower," Tony said, patting me on the back. I nodded. 

 

Bucky and I watched silently as the Iron Legion carried the two chambers through the air, flying away. It looked almost like a _funeral procession..._  

 

"What do you think happened, Buck?" I asked. 

 

Bucky looked at me, his eyes bloodshot. "I don't know, Stevie. But I'm going to _kill_ the fucker who did this..." he growled. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Strange and Reader are dead...clinically. The next chapter will be from the astral plane! Comments?


	108. Okay (Rewritten)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rewrote the chapter involving Reader and Stephen.

Reader's POV 

 

The darkness receded and I slowly opened my eyes. I still hasn't got used to the feeling of being separate from my body. I was back on the same ' _beach'_  where I had met my children... 

The gold sand shimmered, the silvery waves washing ashore... A sense of _peace_ washed over me. 

 

I looked around, floating in the air, feeling light as a feather... 

 

Where was _he?_

 

 _"Stephen?"_ I called out. 

 

I heard a gasp, from somewhere behind me. 

 

I turned around and there he was. Lying in the sand. 

 

 _"Stephen!"_ I floated to him. Kneeling down beside him, I helped him sit up. 

 

"Y/N. You _came..._ I didn't think you would..." he said. 

 

I took his hands in mine. _"Of_ _course_ I came. I _had_ to. How are you?" I asked him, stroking the silver strands of hair at his temples. 

 

He chuckled. "I'm okay. Been better, though." 

 

We stood up. He looked at me intently, silent for a long moment before he spoke.

 

"You _died_ for me, Y/N. Do you _realize_ what you've done?" he asked me, giving my hand a little squeeze. 

 

I nodded. "Yeah, I do, Stephen... I just... I thought it was the right thing to do," I shrugged. 

 

His eyes softened and he gripped my hand tighter. 

 

"Its all my fault, Y/N. I was meditating and the demon, Dormammu attacked me. He's a warlord from a dark dimension. I need your help, I _have_ to defeat him," he said, worry creasing his face. 

 

"I'll help you. I _promise..."_ I said, sensing how much the thought of the demon distressed him. 

 

He gave me a small, uncertain smile. "I  _can't_  keep you waiting here for _too_ long, Y/N. Back in the real world, everyone will assume that you've died. I can't ask this of you.... Its _too much..."_  

 

"Stephen, _please._ You need my help. That's why you called me, I know it. I'm _staying,_ no matter what and you can't do anything to make me go," I said, stubbornly. 

 

He laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "You know, you remind me of someone I once knew..." 

 

"Who?" I asked, surprised. 

 

"That's a conversation for another time, Y/N. Do you know what are the repercussions of long time astral projection?" he asked me, clearly trying to change the topic. 

 

I shrugged. "I don't know..." 

 

"Our bodies are left in a vulnerable state in the real world, Y/N. They are at risk of being _possessed_ by other astral beings. They are also at risk of being _destroyed..."_  

 

 _"How?"_ I asked him, horrified. 

 

"Remember, darling, to the people in the real world, you're _dead._ They'll assume that you've passed on. Chances are that they'll bury or cremate your body and then you won't be able to return to it, obviously..." 

 

I gasped, covering my mouth with my hands. 

 

 _"Don't_ worry, that will be our first precaution. I will lay down a few spells that will ensure that _no_  harm comes to our bodies, while we are here. Then we'll work on tackling Dormammu, _okay?"_  

 

"Okay..." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	109. She's Sleeping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky watches the Reader in the hyperbaric chamber.

Bucky's POV 

 

"She looks like she's sleeping..." I mumbled to no one in particular, trying to convince _myself._  

 

She _had_ to be sleeping. There was no other explanation for it. 

 

Jemma Simmons had declared Y/N dead on arrival and it took all my willpower to stop myself from ripping her nerdy little tongue out. 

 

I wanted to yell at her. To _scream._ To tell her and her science rats to work and bring Y/N _back_ to life. 

 

Stephen Strange could rot in _hell_ for all I cared. I wanted Y/N _back_ in my arms. 

 

Steve was _broken._ He had been in tears since they had brought Y/N to the Tower. I had asked him to leave, partly because I couldn't bear to see him in the state that he was and partly because I wanted to remain strong. And his _endless,_ silent tears weren't helping me. 

 

I was sitting in a chair beside the chamber she was lying in. The whole situation felt like a _fucked up_ version of Snow White: Y/N lying there, dead in a glass box, while I was sitting beside her, _unable_ to do _anything._  

 

"Bucky...why don't you go sleep for a while?" I heard Natasha's voice from the doorway. 

 

"I'm not going _anywhere,"_ I told her, my eyes fixed on Y/N. "She's sleeping, right?" 

 

I heard Natasha sigh. "Bucky...she's gone. You _need_ to accept that. Tony will be here tomorrow morning...we need to make funeral arrangeme-" 

 

_"NO!_ SHE IS _NOT_ DEAD!" I yelled, hot tears blurring my vision. 

 

_"Bucky...please_ try and listen to me... I'm ju-" 

 

"Natasha, get the _fuck_ out of here. _Get out_ before I _kill_ you..." I growled at her. "Then we can have _your_ funeral if you like." 

 

She stared at me, clearly hurt. 

 

I turned away from her and heard her heels clacking as she left. 

 

Sighing I slumped down in my chair, my shoulders sagging. 

 

I hadn't slept in a while. And I refused to sleep, even though my brain was _screaming_ for some rest. Any sort of respite from this nightmare would be a miracle. But I _couldn't_ sleep... What if Y/N woke up? I _had_ to be there for her... I _had_ to... I...

 

_Sleep, Bucky._

 

I heard Y/N's voice inside my head, quiet and soothing. Gentle. Like a cool breeze. 

" _Y/N?_ " I asked, out loud, looking at her lifeless form inside the chamber. 

 

_Yes, go to sleep, James. I'll be here..._

 

I closed my eyes. It was a hallucination. My mind was playing tricks on me...

_Come to me, James. Come here..._

 

Maybe sleep wasn't such a bad idea... Just for a few minutes... To clear my head...

 

_Come to me..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky...my sweet, precious baby!!!


	110. My Flower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it a dream?

Bucky's POV 

 

I opened my eyes and I found myself in a garden. 

 

I was walking barefoot, feeling the blades of grass against my feet with each step I took. The sun was rising on the horizon, bathing the garden with its _gentle_ light, bringing _alive_ the colors of the sunflowers, roses, lilies and daisies that were growing there. 

 

A cool, gentle breeze was blowing through the garden, making the clusters of flowers dance with them. For the first time in forever, I felt _real,_ genuine _peace..._

 

 _"Bucky?"_  

 

I turned around. _And there she was. Y/N._

 

Standing amidst the flowers was _my_ flower, dressed in a white dress as pure as snow, her hair flowing free, cascading down her back, a smile on her lips. 

 

"You're so _beautiful..."_ I said, unable to stop myself. 

She laughed lightly before walking, no, _floating_ towards me. 

 

"Where are w-" 

 

She silenced me with a kiss, her lips soft and gentle against mine. 

 

All too soon, she pulled away. 

 

"Is this _real?"_ I asked her. 

 

She caressed my face. _"Yes..."_  

 

"It feels like a dream..." I murmured, taking her hand in mine and placing a kiss to her palm. 

 

"It is a dream... But I _am_ here, Bucky." 

 

"What do you mean?" I was confused. 

 

She pulled me into another kiss. Longer and deeper this time. There was an urgency in her...

 

 _"Bucky..."_ she sighed, pulling away. "I have to go..." 

 

"No. _Stay._ Please..." 

 

"Just remember this... I _will_ come back. I _will_ come back. You have to _protect me,_ okay?" she whispered against my lips. 

 

"I will, I _will._ But stay for a little longer.... _Please..."_ I begged. 

 

"I _have_ to go, Bucky. Someone needs me. But I _will come back,_ okay? You have to _protect_ me... You have to protect _us..."_  

 

I opened my eyes, sitting upright, gasping. It took me a moment to reorient myself to the surroundings. I was in my chair, exactly where I had fallen asleep a little while back. Y/N was... _Still_ in the chamber. Motionless. Unmoving. 

 

But it had felt so _real,_ the dream... Her words...

 

_I will come back, okay?_

 

_You have to protect me. You have to protect us..._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on this chapter?


	111. Spring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spring has come as Bucky dreams...

Bucky's POV 

 

The garden I had seen Y/N in was so _beautiful._ The sun was shining bright and the flowers grew _everywhere._ Almost as if spring had bloomed after a cold, harsh winter... 

 

" _Y/N?_ " I called out to her, walking through the roses and the sunflowers swaying in the gentle breeze. 

 

I wanted to see her again. But she was nowhere to be found...

 

My feet took me to a secluded enclave, surrounded by lush green bushes and a huge cherry tree, so tall that its branches blocked out most of the sunlight. 

I was about to sit down in the cool shade of the tree when I heard the sounds of laughter. 

 

I turned around and saw two little girls. Barely three years old. They were wearing white frocks, holding hands and dancing around in a circle, _giggling._ One of them had golden hair that reached her shoulders, and the other one had dark brown hair that fell down her back... 

 

I felt a sudden, _inexplicable_ rush of affection for these two girls. I wanted to leave them to their games, not wanting to disturb their fun. But the sound of my footsteps in the grass alerted them. They turned around. Both of them had such _brilliant_ blue eyes... 

 

 _"Daddy!"_  

 

I was _shell shocked,_ my feet remained rooted on the spot as the girls ran over to me. They came closer and I noticed how familiar they looked... 

 

 _"Daddy!_ You _found_ us!" they cried out, each grabbing one of my hands and gently making me kneel. They flung their arms around me and pulled me into a hug. This was _impossible..._  

 

_How could it be?_

 

Against all reason, I hugged them back. 

 

"Jamie? Stephanie? Where _are_ you two?" I heard, Y/N's voice.

 

The girls pulled away from me before calling out, "Over here, mom!" 

 

"Oh, _there_ you are!" Y/N gasped, her voice breathless, as if she had been running. "I've been looking for you _everywhere!"_ Her cheeks were flushed and her hair tousled. She was wearing the same white dress, looking as _beautiful_ as ever... 

 

"Mommy, _look!_ We found _Daddy!"_ the brown haired one exclaimed. 

 

Y/N, laughed. "You sure did, Jamie!" 

 

I looked up at Y/N, still unable to believe what I was seeing... 

 

"These are... These are our..." 

 

"Yes, Bucky. _Our daughters,"_ Y/N finished. 

 

"Mom, _why_ didn't Dada come too?" Stephanie, the blonde one, asked, looking at her with sad eyes. 

 

"Dada couldn't come today, baby. But Daddy is here!" Y/N smiled, running a hand through Stephanie's hair. 

 

Jamie turned to look at me. She placed her _tiny,_ chubby hand on my cheek. "Daddy, _did you forget us?"_ she asked me, her eyes shining with tears. 

 

I felt my heard break. "No... No, _no,_ baby girl. That's _not_ true. I miss you. I miss you both _so much..."_  

 

"We missed you _too,_ Daddy," Stephanie said, hugging me again. 

 

"I missed you  _too,_ baby girl," I whispered into her hair. "I'm  _sorry_ I couldn't protect you... Or your mother... I'm _so_ _sorry..."_

 

"We _love_ you, Daddy. So _much..."_ Jamie said. 

 

"It wasn't your fault..." said Stephanie. 

 

I felt tears running down my cheeks. "I love you _more..."_  

 

I woke up with a start, drenched in sweat. I glanced at the clock. 

 

It was 5 am. 

 

I was still in the chair beside Y/N's chamber. Beside me, Steve was slumped over in his chair as well, fast asleep. 

 

"Steve. _Steve!"_  

 

"Hmmm...what?" he stirred. 

 

"Get _up._ I need to talk to you..." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on this one?


	112. Power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A student gives her powers to her teacher...

Reader's POV

 

I watched in silence as Bucky disappeared from my sight, returning back to the real world. 

 

As did my little girls... 

 

I sat there alone in the grass, amongst the flowers, fighting back tears. 

 

It still hurt _every time_ the girls left me. And I was left feeling _empty._ Just a heavy guilt and lingering pain...

 

I heard the rustling of the grass behind me. 

 

"You must think of me as a sentimental _fool._ Or worse, a manipulator..." I said, blinking back the tears. 

 

"No, I don't, darling," Stephen said, sitting down beside me in the grass. "Having your children, your _future_ being taken away from you in such a violent manner is bound to leave a lasting impact. I don't blame you... No. In fact, I feel _honored_ that you have let me join you here," he said, gesturing at the garden.  

 

I smiled. "Of _course,_ Stephen. I had to share it with you." 

 

"I understand," he smiled, plucking out a red rose that was blooming nearby. "This place is a sanctuary for you. A place where you can get away from the worries of the real world. And its _beautiful..."_ he said, holding out the rose to me. 

 

I felt a blush rise in my  as I took the flower from his hand. "I feel honored that you've chosen to share this place with me, Y/N. And I'm _proud_ of your creation. But you must be _careful._ This isn't real life. Your life awaits you back in the real world... It is very easy to become distracted with _what could have been._ You shouldn't lose yourself here, do you understand?" he asked, lacing his fingers with mine. 

 

I nodded. "How do you plan to defeat the demon?" 

 

He chuckled. "Always so impatient." 

 

"Come on, Stephen! _Tell_ me!" 

 

"Okay, okay.  Here's the thing. I don't want you to face the demon." 

 

I opened my mouth to protest but he held up a finger to my lips. "Listen to me, darling. You're _young._ You're inexperienced. I don't want you to deal with a power like this right off the bat." 

 

"But I want to help you!" 

 

"Yes, darling, I _know._ And you _will._ There are other ways in which you can help me." 

 

"Such as?" 

 

He looked at me intently, his blue eyes clear and bright. "I will need to borrow your powers..." 

 

 _"Okay...?"_  

 

He sensed my confusion. 

"Let me explain. The demon has drained me of my powers and even with your healing, I'm still weak. What I'm asking is that you channel your powers, _into me._ With that I might be able to banish the demon." 

 

"And where will I be?" I asked. 

 

 _"Here,"_ he said, gesturing toward the flowers. "Give me your powers, stay here, _rest_ and wait for me. I will come back and then we'll go _back..."_  

 

"But I don't want to leave you, what if you're hurt _again?"_ I said, my voice rising an octave. 

 

 _"Shhh._ Listen to me. You've already done enough. You're staying back. _Here,"_ he spoke in a tone that rang with finality. 

 

"Okay..." I acquiesced. 

 

"I _will_ come back, darling. Then we'll go. _Together._ Okay?" he asked, giving my hand a squeeze. 

 

I nodded. 

 

We stayed silent for a long moment, still holding hands. "So..." I finally broke the silence. "You want them _now?"_  

 

He chuckled quietly. "Yes, now would be great, darling. The sooner I banish him, the sooner we can return..." 

 

"Okay," I nodded, standing up. He stood too. 

 

Facing each other, we clasped hands, lacing our fingers together. 

 

I closed my eyes and began to concentrate. I heard him gasp as my powers started to flow into him, a tingling warmth building where our hands were connected...

 

I don't know for how long I held onto him... Gradually, bit by bit, I felt my powers leave me and flow into him. 

 

When I began to feel weak, he _sensed_ it. "That's _enough,_ darling..." he caught me in his arms just as my legs gave out. 

 

He lay me down on the grass, stroking my hair away from my forehead. "You've done enough... Now _rest._ I'll come back for you..." he began to pull away. 

 

"No!" I gasped, gripping his hand with the last bit of energy I had mustered. _"T-Take_ it... Take all of it, _Stephen..."_  

 

"I _will_ come back, darling..." he placed a kiss on my forehead, his fingers running through my hair as I sank into the all too familiar darkness... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	113. I'm Not Giving Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky have a talk

Steve's POV 

 

"Steven, what's the _matter_ with you, huh? Why don't you _believe_ me?" Bucky yelled at me and I winced. 

 

 _"Jesus,_ Buck, calm down. I _never_ said I didn't believe you, its just that.... I don't know, man! You're saying you _met_ our daughters! Our d _aughters?_ It was just a _dream_ for chrissake..." I said, my voice still groggy from sleep, running a hand over my face. 

 

"You're such an _idiot_ sometimes, Steve, seriously!" 

 

"Bucky... I _know_ you've gone through a lot lately. I mean, Y/N's death has definitely affected us all-" 

 

"She is _NOT DEAD!"_  

 

I sighed. 

 

 _"Look at her,_ Bucky. Be rational. She doesn't have a pulse. _No_ heartbeat. She's been lying there in that chamber for more than 24 hours now. You need to let _go_ of her, man. I _know_ its hard for you. Maybe giving her a proper funeral will be a way for you to get a closure..." 

 

He glared at me, gritting his teeth. I knew I was treading on thin ice now. 

 

"She _will_ come back. She _promised_ me. I _met our daughters_ in that garden. And Y/N has _promised me_ that she's coming _back..._ We are not having _any_ funeral for her." 

 

 _"What_ garden, Bucky? You're _hallucinating!_ Its just a dream, man! If it was real, _why_ didn't I see it too?" I shouted back, exasperated. 

 

"I don't know, _Steven._ Maybe she didn't _want_ you to be there. Maybe she didn't _want_ to _show_ you... Maybe she still doesn't trust you completely... Maybe-" 

 

"You're dreaming?" I asked looking directly at him. 

 

In a flash, Bucky had grasped me by the throat, pinning me against the wall. His cybernetic fingers hummed as they clenched around my neck, making it hard to breathe...

 

 _"B-Bucky..."_ I sputtered. 

 

"I _know_ what I saw, Steve. _Stop_ treating me like a patient from a mental hospital. _I know what I saw_ ," he growled. 

 

"O-Okay..." I gasped. 

 

He let go of my throat and I fell down to the floor, inhaling sharply, taking huge gulps of air. 

 

"You're either _with_ me on this, or you're not, Steve. There's no middle path..." Bucky said, sitting down on his chair in front of Y/N's chamber. 

 

I sighed. "I'm... I'm with you... But you need to _understand_ my perspective too, Bucky. I need to see it to believe it."

 

He turned to me. "Steve, this is the _love of my life here_. And if there is any chance, no matter how _small,_ of her coming back, I'm going to take it. You all can think I've gone insane or whatever, I'm _not_ giving up on her..." 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve can be such an idiot sometimes... Do you want him to meet the Reader in her garden?


	114. On Va Voir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We will see...

Steve's POV 

 

My phone was buzzing on the bedside table. I reached out and looked at the screen. 

 

Time: _7:30 am_  

 

There was a text from Sam. 

 

_Are we still on for our training session at 8?_

 

I was about to type a quick _'yes'_ and send the reply, when I felt an _uncontrollable_ wave of drowsiness hit me.

 

It was 7:30 in the morning, already _way_ past my usual wake up time of 6, but I was still tired. Which was so uncharacteristic of me. I hadn't felt this tired in a long, _long_ time. 

 

Yawning, I set my phone down, already lamenting the fact that I had missed my morning jog today. What was unusual about this sudden sleepiness was that I _wanted_ to give in. 

 

I wanted to fall asleep. Almost as if something was _pulling_ me in... 

 

Sighing, I decided to sleep for a little longer. I quickly set my alarm for 8 am and lay down on the bed. Within moments, I was falling asleep...

 

My eyes opened to _bright_ sunshine. 

 

And I wasn't in my bedroom anymore.

 

I was standing in a garden. _"What the..."_  

 

I looked down at myself and I was actually dressed in a blue button up shirt and black pants. The _same_ shirt that Y/N had bought for me... 

 

 _No._ This couldn't be. 

 

It _couldn't..._

 

Everywhere I looked were dense bushes of flowers, blooming in full force. Roses, lilies, sunflowers, daisies. At every few feet, there was a fruit tree. Cherry, apple... 

 

I looked down at my feet and realized that I was barefoot, the glades of dewy grass brushing against my feet with each step I took. 

 

The breeze was cool and soothing against my skin as I walked, not knowing where I was headed, just going where my feet took me. 

 

"You know, Steph, your hair is _just_ like your Dada's," I heard Bucky's voice, and I froze. 

 

It was followed by a bout of giggling which sounded like that of a little girl... 

 

"And who do I look like, Daddy?" 

 

"Jamie, look _exactly_ like me, baby girl. Through and through. I mean, there's a _bit_ of your mom in you too, but-" 

 

 _"Bucky?"_ I asked, turning around the corner. 

 

Under a particularly big cherry tree, I found Bucky sitting on the ground, with two little girls. A golden haired one, who was sitting on his lap and a brown haired one who was playing with his hair, standing behind him. 

 

"Steve?" 

 

 _"Dada!"_  

 

The two little girls broke away from Bucky and ran over to me, flinging their arms around me with such force that I was brought to my knees. 

 

"Dada! You came! You _came!"_ They hugged me. 

 

I froze, my eyes wide with shock, my heart pounding. 

 

Was this _really_ happening? 

 

"I _told_ you, Steve..." Bucky grinned at me. 

 

I finally found my voice. "Th-these are..." 

 

 _"Yep._ Our daughters." 

 

The girls finally pulled away from me. I noticed how familiar they both looked, each having clear blue eyes, that reminded me of the ocean. 

 

"Girls, introduce yourselves to your Dada," Bucky said, smiling. 

 

"Hi, I'm Jamie..." the brown haired girl held out her hand to me. 

 

"I'm Stephanie," said the golden haired one, holding out her hand too. 

 

Stunned, I shook their hands, feeling how _tiny_ and _soft_ their hands felt in mine. 

 

I looked at Bucky, still shocked. He grinned smugly at me. "I _told_ you, punk. You didn't want to believe me..." 

 

"I'm, I'm sorry, Buck. I just... I _didn't..._ I'm such an idiot." 

 

"Damn straight, jerk." 

 

"I'm so _happy..."_ Stephanie sighed, crawling into my lap. 

 

"Daddy and Dada are finally here..." Jamie said. "Hey, Stephanie, Dada's hair are exactly like yours!" she exclaimed.

 

"I _told_ you so, doll," Bucky said, ruffling his hand through Jamie's hair. 

 

"Girls, do you know where your mom is?" I asked them. "I, uh, need to apologize to her...yet again." 

 

They shook their heads. 

 

"Buck?" 

 

"I don't know, Stevie. I asked the girls too, but they have no idea. Should we look for her?" he asked. 

 

"Yeah, yeah, I think we should," I replied. 

 

"Alright, who wants a piggyback ride?" Bucky asked the girls. 

 

"I'm going with Daddy!" Jamie shrieked. 

 

Bucky laughed and pulled her up, onto his back. "C'mere, little monkey." 

 

Stephanie approached me. "Dada, can I come with you?" she asked, rather shyly. 

 

 _"Of course,_ sweetheart! Climb on!" 

 

Stephanie wrapped her arms around my neck, her legs wrapping around my torso. She was light as a feather. 

 

"Come on, little ladies. Let's find your mom," I said. 

 

And we were off. 

 

Y/N's garden was as _expansive_ as it was beautiful. 

I lost track of time, walking with Bucky and the girls through the trees and the bushes, chatting happily. 

 

 _"Jesus,_ how big is this place?" 

 

Bucky chuckled. "I know right?" 

 

We walked and walked and walked. Until we came to a spot near another cherry tree. This one was the biggest one in the garden, with flowers growing dense and thick around it. 

 

 _"Mom!"_ Jamie yelled, jumping off Bucky's back and rushing to a spot behind a bush. "She's here!" 

 

Bucky and I ran to where Jamie was pointing and sure enough, there she was. Y/N. 

Lying amongst the flowers, her eyes closed, few strands of her hair fluttering across her face in the breeze... 

 

"Is she _sleeping,_ Dada?" Stephanie asked me. 

 

"I don't know, Steph..." I said, kneeling down beside Y/N. 

 

"Mom! _Mom,_ wake _up!_ Look who's here!" Jamie cried out, shaking Y/N by the arm. 

 

She stirred, ever so slightly. 

 

"Mmm...what?" she mumbled, her eyes slowly opening. 

 

"Mom! Wake up! Dada and Daddy are here!" Stephanie shrieked.

 

"Y/N, are you okay, doll?" Bucky asked, cupping her cheek. 

 

I noticed that she had dark circles under her eyes and she looked so utterly _exhausted._  

 

"Yeah, I'm just... _tired,"_ she said, trying to sit up. I helped her sit up, propping her up against the roots of the tree. She looked so _weak..._

"I see you've met our daughters, Steven." 

 

"Yes, Y/N, I'm _so_ sorry. I _really_ am, I don't know what to say..." 

 

"Steve, if it weren't for the girls here, I would have punched you in the face. But you're lucky that I'm so _tired..."_  

 

Bucky sniggered, covering the girls' ears. 

 

"Y/N, I'm an _idiot,_ I really am," I replied, looking down. 

 

"I'm keeping a list of all the times you've been an idiot, Steve. And believe me, its a _loooong_ list. I'm just glad you didn't _bury_ me..." 

 

Bucky's shoulders were shaking with silent laughter. He was trying so hard to keep quiet that his face had turned red. 

 

I looked at Y/N, utterly _pained_ and mortified. 

 

"I'm coming back, okay?" she said, running her hand through Stephanie's hair. "As soon as Stephen returns..." 

 

I nodded. 

 

"Now you _go,_ all of you. I need to rest, okay? I'm feeling very tired and drained after Stephen borrowed my powers and-" 

 

 _"Borrowed_ your powers?" I asked, confused. 

 

Y/N sighed. "I'll explain when I return, okay? Now _go..."_  

 

I gasped, sitting up in bed, covered in sweat. I looked at the time. 9:45 am. 

 

Sitting up, I was about to pour myself a glass of water, when I heard a knock on my door. 

 

"Come in," I said. 

 

It was Bucky. He was wearing sweatpants and a t shirt. And a _smug_ grin that made me feel all the worse. 

 

"So, Steven...slept _well?_ _Good_ dreams?" he asked.

 

I sighed. "Yes, _very_ good. Now _please,_ punch me in the face, I deserve it." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts and ideas for the next chapter?


	115. Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader returns to the real world.

Reader's POV 

 

I felt a gentle hand on my forehead. 

 

"Let me _sleep,_ Jamie. Five more minutes..." I mumbled, trying to go back to sleep. 

 

"Y/N," I heard Stephen's deep voice and my eyes shot open. 

 

" _Stephen!_ You came back!" I gasped, sitting up. 

"What about the demon? Did you defeat him?" 

 

He grinned at me. "Yes, he's been banished. For now..." 

 

I looked at him and noticed that he had bruises on his face and a bleeding lip. 

 

"You're _hurt..."_  

 

He shook his head. "No, no, its nothing. I'll be alright. Now, getting to the important part... Are you ready to go back?" 

 

I nodded. "Yes... More than ever." 

 

"I agree. We've been dead for quite a while, haven't we?" he quipped. 

 

I chuckled. _"Yeah..."_  

 

"Alright then, I'll see you on the other side, okay?" he said, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. 

 

"Stephen...wait!" 

 

"Yes?" 

 

"What about my...what about my daughters?" I asked hesitantly. 

 

"Oh, darling..." he said, his eyes softening. "They won't be able to come with you. They have to remain here..." 

 

"Oh," I said, feeling a pang of disappointment. "But I will be able to _visit_ them, right?" I asked, hopefully. 

 

"Yes, you will, but only on occasion, Y/N. You have to let them _go,_ sweetheart..." he said. "You will be risking unforseen dangers if you keep visiting them too often." 

 

"Yes, I understand." 

 

"Okay. We will talk more about this when we return, okay?" he said. 

 

I nodded. "Come on, let's go..." 

 

I closed my eyes and _concentrated..._  

 

It felt like a sudden jolt and I opened my eyes with a gasp. 

 

I was _back,_ lying in the hyperbaric chamber. 

 

It felt so... _odd._ Returning to my body after such a long time. 

 

I looked around and sure enough, Stephen was waking up in his chamber beside mine. 

 

I made a move to push the glass enclosure of the chamber, opening it. And suddenly, an alarm went off... 

 

 _Right._ Tony's security measures. 

 

I quickly got out of my chamber, wincing at the sound of the alarm which was surely echoing through _every_ floor of the Avengers Tower. 

 

It was only a matter of time before the team rushed in.

 

"You're okay?" I asked Stephen, watching him as he stood up.

 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Its funny, no matter how many times you do this...returning to your body is _always_ odd," he chuckled. 

 

The alarms didn't cease for even a moment, and suddenly, the door burst open. 

 

 _"Holy shit,"_ I heard Tony's voice. The man was dressed in his pyjamas, and he had a gun in his hand. 

 

"You're _alive?"_ he asked, shocked. 

 

I nodded. "Uh, Tony, please lower the gun. Then we'll talk." 

 

The moment he lowered the gun, I flung my arms around him. "I missed you so much!" I hugged him. 

 

Hesitantly, as if he couldn't believe himself, he hugged me back. 

 

"W-Welcome back, kid." 

 

"Good to see you again, Stark. Now remind me to add an 'astral projection' clause in the Avengers' protocol. It will save us a lot of trouble next time..." Stephen quipped. 

 

I laughed. 

 

"Oh, yeah... _yeah,"_ Tony mumbled, letting go of me. 

 

 

 

 


	116. The Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader returns, Stephen has an offer...

Reader's POV 

 

Tony took my hand with a grin. "Come on, Y/N, I want to see everyone's faces when they see that you're back!" 

 

Laughing, I let him lead me from the room where the hyperbaric chambers had been kept, Stephen following close behind us. 

 

"FRIDAY, turn off the alarms for _God's_ sake, this isn't a threat!" Tony commanded his AI, furiously jabbing the elevator button. 

 

We rode the elevator to the floor where the common room was. "I'm sure everyone will be there right now..." Tony muttered. 

 

I felt a wave of anxiety at the thought of seeing everyone together after such a long time. Especially after half of them had assumed me _dead..._

 

The elevator door opened with a 'ding' and sure enough, every member of the team was in the common room, in the process of preparing for what they thought was an attack or a break in. 

Wanda, Pietro, Natasha, Clint, Sam, Steve, Bruce, Bucky, Maria, Thor... _everyone_ in their pyjamas, half asleep. 

 

"Guys, look who came back!" Tony announced with a grand flourish, looking like a magician during his 'ta-da' moment. 

 

And then everyone turned to look at me... 

 

 _Complete_ silence. 

 

"Hey, guys," I said, rather hesitantly, raising my hand in a small wave. 

 

They all looked like they had seen a ghost... Except Steve and Bucky who were grinning from ear to ear, with a look of mild surprise on their faces. 

 

 _"How?"_ Wanda asked, her eyes filled with awe. 

 

"Astral projection-" I began to speak before I was pulled into a huge bear hug by Bucky. "Doll, you're _back!"_  

 

I hugged him back, as tightly as I could, closing my eyes to hold back the tears that were threatening to escape. "Yeah, Bucky... I'm back!" 

 

Bucky placed a kiss on the top of my head before letting go. Steve stepped up and hugged me, while Bucky hollered, "See? I _told_ you, Steven..." 

 

Steve chuckled, his arms tightening around me. "You sure did, Buck." 

 

Seeing Bucky and Steve, the rest of the team, who had frozen up in shock, came back to life, rushing to greet me with hugs and kisses. 

 

Once the necessary greetings were done, Tony announced, "There's no threat to the Tower, guys, you can all go to sleep." 

 

Everyone laughed. "Yeah, _right,_ Tony, like you'll expect us to go back to sleep after dropping a bomb like _that_ on us in the middle of the night!" quipped Natasha, gesturing towards me, making everyone laugh yet again. 

 

"Seriously, guys, I feel bad for waking you all up like this. Please go back to sleep, we'll talk tomorrow..." I said. 

 

 _"Really,_ Y/N? You come back from the _dead_ and you feel bad for waking us up from _sleep?"_ Pietro said, smirking.

 

Wanda swatted her brother's arm. "Be _quiet,_ Pietro... Y/N, how does it feel? To be back? Is it strange?" 

 

"Yeah, it does feel odd..." I said, staring at my hands, lost in thought. Wanda's mention of the word _'strange'_ caused something to click in my head. I looked around. "Guys, where's Stephen?" I asked. 

 

Everyone shrugged and shook their heads, having no idea where he had disappeared. 

I mean, he was right behind me in the elevator... 

 

"Y/N, you should get some sleep, you look really tired," Steve said, placing his hand on my shoulder, sounding worried. 

 

I nodded, suddenly feeling very tired and worn out. 

 

"Come on, let's go to bed," Bucky said, offering me his hand. I took it. 

 

I wished everyone goodnight before heading off to my bedroom with Bucky and Steve. 

 

Steve placed a kiss on my cheek and bid me goodnight, before heading off to his own room. 

The moment we were alone, Bucky pulled me into a kiss. "I missed you so much, Y/N..." he whispered against my lips when he pulled away. 

 

"I missed you too, Bucky." 

 

I asked for a glass of water, feeling extremely thirsty. Bucky went to the kitchen to get a bottle of water, while I changed into something comfortable and slipped into bed. 

 

I lay down when suddenly I felt something under my pillow. A piece of paper. I reached out and pulled out the paper. It was a note. With a very _familiar_ handwriting on it. 

 

_Dearest Y/N,_

_Your powers saved my life. You saved my life... I will always owe you that. Tomorrow night I will be going to my ashram in Tibet to visit the Ancient One. Perhaps you would like to join me?_

 

_I will talk to you tomorrow. Please take rest for now. You've earned it._

 

_Love,_

_Stephen._  

 

"Hey, doll, here's your water!" came Bucky's voice as he walked into the room, a glass of water in hand. I quickly hid the note back under my pillow before he saw it. 

 

"Thank you, Bucky," I smiled, accepting the glass and downing it one go. 

 

"Are you alright?" he asked me, quirking his brow. 

 

"I'm fine! Just _...tired,"_ I said, lying down and closing my eyes. 

 

"Just sleep, okay?" he said, settling down into bed beside me and gently stroking my hair. 

 

I nodded and snuggled into him, falling asleep with my thoughts still working around Stephen's letter...

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, should she accept Stephen's offer?


	117. Clea(r)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A telepathic conversation

Reader's POV

 

I woke up early the next morning. _Quite_ early, in fact, after sleeping for a grand total of three hours.

 

Bucky was asleep beside me, snoring lightly, his arm wrapped around me. _Carefully_ extracting myself from his hold, trying not to wake him up, I got up. 

 

"Mmm.... Y/N?" he mumbled, his voice groggy. I placed my hand on his forehead gently. _"Sleep,_ Bucky. I'm right here..." I whispered, using my powers to soothe him back to sleep, calming his mind. 

 

Once I was sure that he was asleep, I got up, walking out of our bedroom, to the living area. I sat down in an armchair by the huge glass window, watching the sun rise over New York. 

 

It was a _beautiful_ moment, watching the sun begin its slow ascent, watching the world stir awake from sleep. It felt so _peaceful..._ the silence. 

 

I pulled out Stephen's note, re-reading it silently. It was time to answer him... 

 

I tried to contact him using telepathy. 

 

_Stephen? Are you awake?_

 

_Yes, darling._

 

His voice came loud and clear, almost as if he hasn't slept at all. 

 

_Did you get some sleep, Stephen?_

 

I heard him chuckle. 

 

_No, not really. Did you get my note, Y/N?_

 

_Yes I did._

 

_And?_

 

_And.... I won't be able to come with you, Stephen._

 

He fell silent and I could almost _feel_ his disappointment. 

 

_I'm so sorry... Its just that, I've just come back. And things with the boys are just starting to get back to the way they were... I just don't have the heart to leave Bucky again. I'm sorry..._

 

_Darling, don't apologize. I understand. Its okay..._

 

_So, you're not angry?_

 

He laughed. 

 

_How could I be angry at you?_

 

I felt a smile tug at my own lips. 

 

_I'll stay in touch, Y/N. We'll resume training upon my return?_

 

_Absolutely!_

 

_Good. Well, then, I won't keep you, Y/N..._

 

_Stephen! Wait!_

 

_Yes?_

 

_Um... You had once told me that I reminded you of someone... Who was it, could you please tell me?_

 

I felt him grow silent. 

 

_Stephen, please?_

 

He sighed. 

 

_It was my wife. Clea._

 

_What? You had a wife?_

 

I was shocked at learning about this aspect of Stephen's life. He had never mentioned it...

 

_Yes, darling. She was a disciple of mine. She came from another dimension, to learn from me. I trained her and fell in love with her... She became my equal in every aspect._

 

_When did you get married?_

 

_It was seven years ago. Well, seven years according to this dimension's time scale.... We swore sacred vows to each other. Marriage customs in her dimension were different from the ones in ours, Y/N._

 

_Where is she now?_

 

_Clea and I have been separated. Estranged. For quite a while, actually.  She doesn't want me in her life anymore._

 

_Stephen, I'm so sorry. I didn't know..._

 

_I know, darling. Its my fault, I didn't tell you. And as for the fact that you remind me of her, yes, you do. The devotion that you have shown me, at such a young age, reminds me of her. How willingly you surrendered your powers to me, how you didn't hesitate, even for a moment to come to my aid... I want you to know this, darling, you are very precious to me._

 

I felt my heart swell with joy. 

 

_Thank you, Stephen..._

 

_I mean it. Now go, spend your time with your loved ones. I will be in touch. Go and live, Y/N._

 

_I will..._

 

_Farewell for now, my sweet girl._

 

_I'll see you, Stephen._

 

And just as the sun rays began to stream into the living room, I felt Stephen Strange slip out of my mind.... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	118. Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Steve have a talk...

Reader's POV 

 

I don't know for how long I sat in my chair, watching the sun rise. It felt _symbolic_ in a way... A new beginning. 

 

It was FRIDAY's voice that pulled me out of my thoughts. "Miss Y/N, Captain Rogers requests entry to your quarters. Shall I let him in?" 

 

"Yes, please do, FRIDAY," I replied, bracing myself internally. 

 

I sat in my chair, listening to Steve's approaching footsteps. "Y/N, you're awake!" 

 

"Yeah, hi, Steve. Come, sit," I said, turning around to face him. He was dressed in his usual workout wear. 

"Went for a run?" I asked. 

 

He smiled. "Yeah, I did. I wanted to wake Bucky up, but I figured you two would... _You know..."_ he trailed off, a slight blush rising in his cheeks. 

 

Oh, _god._  

 

"No, Steve. Bucky's asleep. Passed out like a log," I said, feeling myself blush as well. 

 

 _Jesus,_ we were behaving like two awkward teenagers trying to have a conversation by the lockers in high school. There was definitely a tinge of hesitation and awkwardness in my interactions with Steve, as compared to the utter ease I felt with Bucky. I guess we still had a lot of work to do on the relationship mending front... 

 

I reached out and put on my glasses, pushing them up the bridge of my nose. "So, how've you been?" I asked him, wincing internally at how artificially chipper I sounded. 

 

"I've been... I've been good, Y/N." 

 

It was obvious that Steve was struggling to converse with me as well. In Bucky's presence, the lingering awkwardness would just dissolve between Steve and me. But in his absence, it showed up _glaringly_ obvious. 

 

"Steve... You can talk to me, you know? We have to work on this," I said, sincerely. 

 

He sighed. "I _know,_ Y/N. I know. But I feel like so much water has passed over the bridge... I don't know where to begin!" 

 

I nodded, understanding completely. Due to the recent course of events, the chances of having a genuine, heart to heart conversation with Steve had gone down to zero. But now I was _fully_ willing and open to rectify that. 

 

"Steve, I miss you and I love you, I want you to know that, okay? And I _do_ want things to go back to the way they were... But we still have to work around a few things... You know what I mean?" I said, looking directly at him. "We need to work out the knots and smoothen out the edges, if we want to recover what was lost..." 

 

He nodded. "I agree, Y/N. _Completely._ There's no two ways about it. And I'm willing to give it all it takes." 

 

"I'm glad to hear that, Steve. I _really_ am. But now, be honest with me... What's going on with you and Sharon?" 

 

Steve suddenly looked _pained._ Like I had punched him in the stomach. 

 

"Steve... Come on. Tell me," I implored him. 

 

"I...uh, well... We slept together for a few times, but you know that already," he said, turning red in the face, which would have looked quite hilarious on any other day, if he weren't pouring out his heart to me. 

 

"Yes, I know that, Steve. But what exactly is your equation with her right now? You told me you had broken things off with her..." 

 

"Y/N... Its a little complicated," he confessed, looking down at his feet. "I was reckless and it was a foolish thing, involving her like this. I swear, I don't... I don't feel the same way for her as I do for you, Y/N. And I want to break things off with her. But I think..." 

 

"What do you think, Steve?" 

 

"I think that Sharon has fallen in love with me," he said, his voice so soft that I almost hadn't heard it. 

 

"You think Sharon is in _love_ with you..." I repeated, trying to process the information myself. I mean, it wasn't that much of a surprise to be honest. Sharon had always liked Steve. But it didn't lessen the _hurt_ I felt, listening to his confession. 

 

"And do you... Did you... Ever... Love her? Somewhere along the way?" I asked. 

 

"Y/N, no, _no._ I don't love her. Not the way I love you, for sure. Its just that, things have become a little....

 

 _"Complicated,_ yeah. I know..." I finished. "But really, thank you for being honest with me, Steve. Its a first step..." 

 

"Yeah," he nodded. 

 

"What are you going to do about it?" I asked. "About her?" 

 

"Honestly, Y/N, I don't know. I mean, I've had a conversation with her about this, saying that I want to end things with her. But somehow I don't think she fully _understands_ or _agrees..."_ he said, clearly struggling with words. 

 

"Okay," I said, trying to sound as encouraging as I could. It wasn't everyday that Steve Rogers opened up his heart to you... 

"Steve, we'll work this all out, okay? I promise." 

 

He looked at me, looking utterly grateful. "Thank you, Y/N. For your patience... For _everything,_ really." 

 

I nodded, feeling happy that he was _finally,_ willingly opening up to me. 

 

"Just one thing," I said and he looked at me expectantly. 

 

"Yeah?" he asked. 

 

"Since we're being so honest with each other, I just wanted to let you know that there's no point in lying to me, Steve. If at any point... At  _any_ _point_ you think about passing a lie to me through that pretty mouth of yours, I'll _know._ I'll know in a _second,"_ I said, tapping a finger on my temple. "And just remember, I don't need Bucky to kick your ass anymore. I'm perfectly capable of doing that _myself_ now." 

 

I don't know what was more satisfying: the sound of Bucky sniggering quietly in the corner, or the utterly _petrified_ look Steve was wearing on his face. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so, I totally loved the threat Reader gives Steve. He needs a little tough love, don't you think?  
> Also... I haven't slept in ages...


	119. Work It Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and constructive feedback will be appreciated! Xx

Reader's POV 

 

It felt so _good_ to be back! 

 

I was in the training area, working up a sweat on the treadmill, running as fast as I could, watching the other team members work out and train. 

 

Natasha was running on the treadmill next to mine, while Steve was practicing boxing on a punching bag. Clint was shooting targets outside, while Bucky coached Sam, Pietro and Wanda about the intricacies of hand-to-hand combat. Yep, the Avengers were up and running. 

 

Watching Bucky spar with Sam (and kick his ass at it) I realized that this was the first time in a long time that I was feeling so upbeat. So _...normal._ Like all was finally becoming right with the world...

 

Stephen and I were in touch, regularly. Through telepathy, of course. He encouraged me to hone my powers by myself, while working on my physical strength as well. "Work out. Train as much as you can, Y/N. You must be in peak physical condition. We will resume training with your powers upon my return, but you must practice. _Everyday,"_ he had told me, just the other day. 

 

Using my powers was definitely becoming easier for me. And I daresay, I was _definitely_ getting stronger...

 

"Y/N, catch!" Clint said, shooting an arrow in my direction _as_ I was running on the treadmill. In a split second, using telekenesis, I froze the arrow in the air, levitating it for a few minutes before making it fall to the ground. 

 

"You're getting good at it," Natasha exclaimed. "Soon you'll be able to freeze _bullets_ mid air!" 

 

"You think so?" I asked, between gasps, hitting the pause button on the treadmill, slowing down to a walk, before it stopped eventually. 

 

"Yeah, definitely," she said, still running. 

 

I smiled at her, feeling rather proud of myself. A compliment from Natasha Romanoff didn't come easy. 

 

I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Hey, Y/N, you want to spar with me? Using _only_ our powers?" Wanda asked me with a grin. I grinned back. "Absolutely," I replied. It had become a recent 'thing' between Wanda and me, sparring using only telekinesis. It was _truly_ fun, competing with her, because out of all the members of the team, she was the only one with powers similar to mine. 

 

"Don't hold back," I said, taking up my stance. Wanda grinned wickedly at me, bracing herself when suddenly I saw her smile falter and she looked at someone behind me. "Hey, check it out," she said. 

 

I turned around and I saw Sharon walking into the training arena, looking extremely out of place in her attire of blazer and pencil skirt, with heels, of course. I mean, the rest of us were all in workout wear and...

 

As she walked past me, giving me a smile, I felt something _odd_ about her. I just couldn't put my finger on it. But there was definitely _something..._  

 

"Hi, Steve!" she said, striding over to where Steve was, chatting with Bucky, near the boxing area. 

 

Steve looked surprised to see her and I saw his eyes flicker towards me when Sharon pulled him into a hug. 

"Sharon! You're back! How was your flight?" Steve asked, hugging her back, while Bucky looked at me, gauging my reaction. 

I carefully kept any emotion off my face as I watched their exchange. 

 

"Oh, it was good! I came here as soon as we landed because I _had_ to see you! I have some news for you..." she said, as soon as she pulled away from Steve, her arms still around him. 

 

Steve looked so desperately uncomfortable, and quite nervous to be honest. "Yeah? What is it?" he asked, uncertainly. 

 

She smiled up at him, her eyes positively glowing with adoration as she took Steve's hand in hers and slowly placed it over her belly...

 

"You're going to be a father, Steve..." she whispered. 

 

I felt everything switch into slow motion, feeling a rush of pain come shooting through my heart. Bucky looked at me, _worried._ But my vision was already blurry with tears. 

 

I felt... _defeated._ Sharon had finally managed to give Steve something that I _never_ could... Not after...

 

"Y/N, are you okay?" Wanda whispered beside me, placing her hand on my arm. I felt as if someone had _wrenched_ my heart out of my chest. 

 

Bucky was already walking towards me, while Sam and Clint were congratulating a truly bewildered looking Steve. 

 

I turned around and did the only thing I could. I _ran..._ As fast as I could. 

 

"Y/N!" I heard Bucky call out to me. He was following me. 

 

But I kept running, until I was outside, on the balcony. Bucky's hand caught mine, stopping me. 

He turned me around forcefully and pulled me into his arms, just as my tears broke through. 

 

He held me close as I cried into his chest. "Y/N, baby, its okay... I'm here..." he murmured soothingly. 

 

"He's going to be a _father,_ Bucky!" I cried out in anguish. 

 

"I know, doll, I know... Its okay... Its _okay..."_  

 

"Sharon will probably give him a son... Or a daughter... With _golden_ hair... Like Stephanie... But it'll be _real..._ Not a dream..." 

 

"I know, doll... I know _exactly_ how you feel... I'm so sorry..." he whispered. 

 

I pulled away from him. "I wanted it to be real too, you know, Bucky? Jamie and Stephanie... Two little girls... I just... It _hurts..."_ I sobbed uncontrollably. 

 

"We're going to get through this, doll. I promise. Like you said, we'll work it out..." 

 

"How will we do that, Bucky? Its all changed... Its _different_ now..." 

 

 _"C'mere,"_ he said, pulling me into his arms again. "I'm right here, okay? We'll figure this out. We'll figure it all out..." 

 

I nodded, burying my face into his neck, holding onto him as tight as I could. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	120. Upfront

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N reconnects with an old acquaintance...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I'm a ruthless manipulator...

Reader's POV 

 

It was evening and I was lying in bed, curled up in my blankets. For once, I didn't want to leave the comfort of my room...

 

My eyes were _burning._ I don't know how long I spent crying. Bucky had come and gone a few times, telling me that Steve wanted to talk to me. I had refused to meet him. 

 

The moment Sharon had walked into the gym, I _knew_ that she was pregnant. I could _sense_ the growing life inside her. She wasn't lying... That much was certain. And it didn't do much to lessen the pain or anger that I was feeling. 

 

I wanted to work things out with Steve. I _really_ did. I love him. But why will he choose me when someone else can give him the very thing I can't? 

Steve had _always_ wanted a family, I knew it. And now he had a genuine chance at it. I didn't want to get in the way of that.

 

My mind was racing with so many emotions simultaneously. Hatred, anger, pain, jealousy, guilt, doubt, betrayal... 

 

I had called out to Stephen telepathically, locking myself up in my bathroom. He had answered, sensing my distress _immediately._  

I told him everything. 

 

"Darling, do you want me to come back?" he had asked. 

 

I refused. I knew that his meeting with the Ancient One was of great importance. He had promised to come visit me as soon as he could. 

 

There was a clicking sound of the doorknob turning. Bucky walked in, carrying a bowl of soup in hand. 

"Y/N, you haven't eaten a thing since morning..." he began. 

 

"Bucky, _please,_ I'm not hungry..." I said, pulling the covers tighter around me. 

 

He sighed, putting the bowl down on the table. "I know you're upset, doll. But you can't keep doing this to yourself," he said, placing a hand on my forehead. 

 _"God,_ you're burning up! Do you have a fever?" 

 

To be honest, I felt quite terrible. There was a dull, throbbing ache in my head. And my crying all day didn't help much either. 

 

"Steve wanted to see you..." Bucky said quietly. 

 

"I don't want to see him..." 

 

"Y/N, you have to work this out. _Communicate._ Shutting him out is not the right thing to do!" he said, desperately. 

 

"Bucky..." I said, quietly. "You remember the time I had messed around with Pietro?" 

 

There was a long moment of silence that followed. 

"Yeah?" he asked, uncertainly. 

 

"Just imagine... If I had gotten pregnant with _his_ child... Would Steve have forgiven me? Do you think he would have been willing to communicate with me?" I asked. 

 

Bucky sighed deeply. "I don't know, Y/N... _Why_ are you talking like this?" 

 

"I'm just thinking out loud, Bucky. These are just a fraction of the thoughts in my mind right now..." I said, my voice strangely calm. 

 

"Miss Y/N, Captain Rogers is requesting entry to your quarters..." FRIDAY's voice suddenly rang out. 

 

I smiled ruefully. _Of course he is._

 

"Let him in, FRIDAY," I said and Bucky looked visibly relieved. 

 

We heard Steve's frantically approaching footsteps. Then the door swung open. "Y/N, I'm so sorry, I didn't know... I-" 

 

"Cut it out, Steve. I've had enough of it," I said, impatiently, not making even the slightest move to sit up or acknowledge his presence. 

 

He fell silent. 

 

 _"Congratulations..."_ I said in a cold voice. 

 

I heard him wince. "Y/N, please give me a chance to explain..." 

 

"Explain _what,_ Steve? That you don't love Sharon the way you love me? I already know that! But that didn't stop you from screwing her and getting her knocked up, is it? That's what you want to explain?" I asked, silently marveling at how _calmly_ I was talking with him. No shouting. No screaming. No hysterical weeping. I was just too tired for that now... 

 

Steve was quiet for a while. Then he spoke. "Y/N, I'm sorry...." 

 

But I wasn't listening to him anymore. A sudden wave of nausea hit me. Retching, I clamped a hand over my mouth and ran straight into the bathroom where I threw up violently into the toilet. 

 

"Y/N, are you alright?" Bucky and Steve asked unanimously, rushing to the bathroom. 

 

I nodded weakly, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, slumping down on the floor.

"Can you both leave me alone, please?" I croaked out. 

 

"But Y/N," Bucky began to protest. I raised my hand to stop him. 

 

"Please _leave..._ Both of you..." 

 

"You're not well, Y/N..." Steve said. 

 

"Go away, okay? Just... _Go._ Discuss baby names, child support, fatherhood, obviously Bucky will be the godfather... Just _GO!"_  

 

They looked at each other, clearly shocked at my behavior. Nevertheless, looking extremely worried, they left. 

 

Once I was sure that they were gone, I pulled out my phone from my pocket and dialed a number I hadn't called in years.

 

A man with a Spanish accent answered the phone on the third ring. 

 

"Hello?" he asked. 

 

"Hi, Carlos?" I asked. 

 

"Yeah, who's this?" 

 

"Its me, Y/N. Y/F/N. I used to live in your neighborhood, you remember?" 

 

"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! Y/N! How you doing? Long time no call, huh?" he said, finally recognizing me. 

 

"Listen, uh, you still sell the stuff you used to? Back in the day?" I asked, biting my lip.

 

"Yeah, why, you want me to hook you up with some?" he asked. 

 

"Mmhmmm. I could really use some of it right now..." I said, slumping back against the wall. 

 

"Alright, Y/N. I'm texting you the address. Meet me there in an hour... _With_ the dough, mind..." he said. 

 

"Yeah, okay. I'll see you there. And don't worry... Money's not a problem... I'll pay upfront." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo? What do you think?


	121. Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N has a night out...

Reader's POV 

 

After disconnecting my phone call to Carlos, I got up, swaying slightly as I did. Quickly undressing, I got into the shower, turning on the water. 

 

I sighed as the warm water ran down my body, soothing my tense muscles, _relaxing_ me as I washed myself. 

 

Luckily, Steve and Bucky, both were out when I got out of the shower and went into my bedroom to get dressed. Quickly rough drying my hair with a blow dryer, I put on my usual outfit of a tank top, jacket and jeans and slipped on my boots. Letting my hair run free, I grabbed my bag, making sure that I slipped a wad of cash into it before I went out the door.

 

Taking the elevator downstairs, making sure to avoid any of the team members, I snuck out of the Tower. I'm sure the cameras must've seen me leave, but at this point I didn't care. 

 

Taking a cab to the designated address that Carlos had texted me, I arrived at a rather shady looking neighborhood of New York City. 

Standing exactly where he had told me he'd be, on the curb, outside his building, was Carlos. 

 

"Hey, Y/N! You look _good!"_ he said, greeting me with a smile, which bordered on a leer. He had always been creepy. But he always had the best stuff. 

 

"You've got what I told you to bring?" I asked. 

 

"Yeah, yeah, I've got it. Its the best of the best, Y/N. The _purest_ shit. I swear, one line and you'll be flying through the sky," he grinned, taking out a packet containing the cocaine I had asked him for. 

 

"Here's the money. Upfront. As promised," I said, handing him the cash. He gave me the packet, which I shoved into my bag. 

 

"Alright, then," I turned around, beginning to take his leave. 

 

"Yo, Y/N! You went to rehab and got all sobered up, right? Why the sudden urge?" he called after me as I walked away. 

 

"Like I said, I could use something like this today, Carlos," I said, walking away as fast as I could. 

 

I walked into the nearest club, where there was a rock band in performance, with music so loud and a crowd so massive that it would be all too easy to disappear. 

 

The music was pulsing loudly, rattling through my bones, shaking the very walls of the club. The crowd was _wild,_ clearly having a great time, cheering and dancing. I asked the bartender for a few shots of vodka, downing each faster than the previous one before pulling out the cocaine packet. 

Drawing out a line on the bar platform itself, I took a deep breath and used a rolled up piece of paper to inhale the line. 

 

The effect was almost instantaneous. A wave of pure _euphoria_ hit me, my inhibitions dissolving into thin air. I felt like I was _floating..._  

 

Carlos was right. This was the pure stuff... 

 

Pocketing the rest of the powder, I let my feet guide me of their own accord, I hailed a cab outside. I gave the cabbie the address to Steve's Brooklyn apartment. Before I knew it, I was standing outside Steve's building, the place where he lived when he wasn't staying at the Tower. 

 

I had the key to his place and I let myself in, shutting the door behind me. It gave me a savage sense of pleasure, breaking into Captain America's home, with the sole intention of drinking and drugging myself into oblivion. I had to drown the pain _somehow._ To numb it. To do something to get my mind off how much I _still_ loved Steve Rogers. That's what led me to his apartment on this night. It was almost as if my feet were taking me there on my own...

 

The high had well and truly kicked in and I went through Steve's bar in a daze, grabbing a bottle of vodka and chugging it straight up. Chuckling at the thought of Steve's expression if he happened to see me right now, I set myself down on his sofa, switching on the TV. 

 

Taking out the packet of cocaine once again, with shaking hands, I drew out another line for myself. As I was rolling up the paper to snort the line, I heard the door open. 

"Who's there?" I called out, my voice slurring badly. 

 

There was no response. _Fuck it, then._

 

I leaned down and just began to inhale the line I had drawn when I heard a gasp. 

 

"Y/N!" 

 

I looked up, leaving the line half finished to see Steve standing in front of me, looking utterly horrified. 

 

"Oh, hey, Stevie..." I chuckled, wiping my nose on the back of my hand to get rid of the residual powder. 

 

In two strides he reached me, grabbing me harshly by the shoulders. 

 

 _"What the fuck are you doing?"_ he snarled. 

 

"I'm trying to stop myself from thinking of you, Rogers..." I slurred, giggling lightly. 

 

"Is that...?" 

 

"Cocaine, Steve. And its pretty good. You want to try? I'll draw you up a lin-" 

 

"Y/N, have you _lost your mind?"_ he shouted at me, shaking me roughly. 

 

I don't know what came over me... I reached out and slapped him across the face. 

 

"You are an _idiot,_ Steve Rogers!" I yelled, suddenly close to tears. 

 

He looked at me, his blue eyes full of pure hurt. 

 

"Why don't you realize that I love you, huh?" I asked, feeling the tears run down my cheeks, grabbing the front of his shirt with both hands. "I _love_ you... _Stop hurting_ me like this..." 

 

He slowly wiped away my tears. "Do you know how worried I was when you disappeared? And then the security system alerted me that somebody had entered my apartment. I came here in a rush and I find you... Like _this..._ Stop doing this to yourself, Y/N. You don't know what it does to m-" 

 

I silenced him with a kiss, pressing my mouth to his with a ferocity that made him gasp. Threading my fingers through his hair, I kissed him roughly, my tongue slipping past his lips and into his mouth...

Through the kiss, I tried to show him the hurt and the pain and the anger I had in me...

 

"Stop pushing me away..." I gasped, pulling away from him, kissing along his jawline. I crawled into his lap, my hands working on his shirt buttons. His hands came to stop me. 

 

"Y/N, we _can't_ do this... I want to... Believe me... But you're not yourself... And I-" 

 

I kissed him again, effectively shutting him up, my hands managing to open up the first two buttons of his shirt. 

 

"Stop with the reasoning, Steve... I want you... I _am_ myself... And I want _you..."_ I gasped when I pulled away from him. "Don't refuse me this time..." 

 

His eyes softened and he pressed his forehead against mine. "You don't know what you're asking..." 

 

"I know _exactly_ what I'm asking, Steve. Please, just for once, forget about everything else... Forget Sharon, forget the baby... I'm _here_ and I _love_ you... I love you _so much,_ Steve... It _hurts..."_  

 

  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear your thought about this chapter. You know what's about to happen next, I hope *wink*


	122. Again...

Reader's POV 

 

My mind was clouded with lust and love and alcohol and the drugs, and the only thing that was grounding me in the moment was _Steve._  

 

I kissed him and _kissed_ him... Like I needed him more than I needed air. 

 

My hands worked quickly, discarding his shirt, tossing it away. Once he was free of it, a sudden frenzy came over me. I placed open mouthed kisses on every inch of his exposed skin, trying to leave marks on his flesh. I wanted to mark him as _mine..._  

 

His fingers wound themselves in my hair and he was gasping as I made my way lower, down his chest, to his abs, going lower still. "Lie back, Steve," I ordered him, and he complied. 

 

I pulled off his jeans and his underwear, freeing his already hardened length. Grasping the shaft in my hand, I closed my mouth around his tip, not wasting any time. 

 

_"Fuck,_ Y/N..." he moaned in a strained voice, his fingers gripping my hair tighter. I swirled my tongue over the tip, sucking and trying to take as much of him in my mouth as I could, my hands stroking along his thighs as I bobbed my head over his throbbing shaft. 

 

Raising my gaze to his face, I saw him lying there with his eyes closed, an expression of pleasure on his face, while he groaned and gasped. 

I hollowed out my cheeks, dragging my tongue along his length....

 

"Y/N... _Please_ stop...." he gasped in a strangled voice, pulling at my hair ever so slightly. I released him from my mouth, lifting my head to look at him. 

"I want _you..."_ he said, his voice gravelly as he sat up and pulled me into a kiss. 

 

"You're wearing too many clothes..." he snarled when he pulled away. His hands made quick work of my clothes, tossing them haphazardly all over the living room. In complete silence, I took his hand in mine, taking him into the bedroom. 

 

He placed his hands on my shoulders, guiding me to lie down on my back on his bed, before bringing his mouth on mine in a kiss that made me _melt..._

 

"You're so _beautiful..._ So beautiful, sweetheart..." he whispered into my neck. He lay kisses across my collarbones, tracing the ridges with his tongue. His hands roamed my body _greedily,_ touching me everywhere he could reach... 

 

His warm, callused hands palmed my breasts while his lips latched onto that sensitive spot on my neck. 

_"Touch me, Steve..."_ I moaned, threading my fingers through his soft, blonde hair, pulling him to me. 

He sucked a mark into my skin, marking me as his. 

 

Then he moved lower, his mouth closing over my nipple. I writhed under his ministrations, letting him suck, nip and pluck my nipples into hardened peaks, his other hand creeping between my legs. 

 

His fingers delved into my folds, while he tended to my breasts with his mouth. "You're so _wet,_ baby..." he breathed into my skin, his finger slipping into me, making my back arch. "I gotta have a taste..." 

 

He kissed his way down my body, bending my legs at the knees and hooking my legs over his impossibly broad shoulders, opening me to him _entirely._ He gave me a wicked wink, sucking at the soft skin of my inner thigh. And then, without warning, he brought his mouth down on me. 

 

I writhed against his _aggressive,_ greedy mouth, my hands in his hair, pulling him closer to me. He licked along my folds, lapping up the growing wetness there. My hips rose and fell against his mouth, seeking that _delicious_ friction. His tongue plunged into me a few times, drawing loud moans from me. When he closed his lips around my bundle of nerves, sucking on that sensitive nub while lashing it with his tongue, I _shattered._  

He kept going, trying to prolong the pleasure for me... 

 

I fell limp against the mattress, a sweaty, whimpering mess as he kissed his way up my body, until our lips met in another sinful kiss. 

I could taste myself on his tongue. 

"You taste so sweet, Y/N..." he gasped when we broke apart. 

 

_"Enough_ with the teasing..." I gasped, cupping his face. "I _need_ you, Steve..." 

 

"Say it again..." he said, sitting back on his haunches, a predatory look on his face. 

 

"I need you, Steve... _Please..."_  

 

He grinned, slowly raising my left leg and hooking it over his shoulder, spreading me open. 

 

My lips parted in a moan of his name as he slipped into me, all the way, to the hilt. And without giving me a moment, he began to move. Drawing all the way out, before plunging back in. _Over and over..._  

 

The slick glide as he plunged into me made my inner walls quiver and clench around him. He buried his face into my neck, and I clutched at his back. 

"Oh, _Steve..."_ I moaned, throwing my head back against the pillow. "I _missed_ you..." 

 

He attacked my exposed neck with warm, sensual kisses. "Its _you,_ Y/N... Its _always_ been you...." he murmured between  kisses. "Its the truth, sweetheart..." 

 

"I know, Stevie.... I _know...."_ I moaned, running my fingers through his hair. _"Kiss me..."_  

 

He kissed me deeply, his hand slipping down between my legs, finding my most sensitive spot, that bundle of nerves...

 

With a cry of his name, I broke against him, letting the pleasure drown me in a tidal wave. Steve followed a moment later, spilling his seed into me with a groan. 

 

He collapsed against me, gasping, trembling.

We stayed like that for a few long moments, before he pulled out of me and lay down beside me.

 

"I love you, Y/N..." he whispered, kissing me chastely. 

 

Too tired and worn out to reply, I only kissed him back.  

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think?


	123. Baby Joy

Steve's POV 

 

I woke up to the early morning light, feeling better than I had felt in days. 

 

Y/N was still asleep, her arms around me, her head resting on my shoulder. 

I couldn't remember the last time I had been with her like this... 

 

But the fact that she was here now, in my arms, brought a smile to my face. _God,_ I loved her. 

And I had messed up. 

 

But I was willing to do _anything_ to make it up to her... 

 

She stirred ever so slightly and I stroked her hair, trying to coax her back to sleep. 

 

"Mmm... Steve...?" she mumbled. 

 

"I'm here, sweetheart. Go back to sleep..." 

 

She mumbled something unintelligible, turning away from me to lie on her back. I smoothed her hair away from her face, placing a kiss on her lips. 

 

Sitting up, I reached out for my cell phone, to check it. I had an _unusual_ amount of messages on my phone, most of them from Bucky. 

 

_Steve? Pick up the phone._

 

_Where are you? Did you find Y/N?_

 

_Reply now, you idiot. I'm losing my mind here... Did you find her?_

 

_Are you alright?_

 

And then a series of messages that had arrived just an hour ago... _Again,_ from Bucky. 

 

_Read the newspaper._

 

_Fucking hell, Steven! Read today's newspaper and call me back!_

 

_If you don't call me back in an hour, you'll be sorry, punk._

 

_READ THE PAPER!!!!_

 

Wow. _Jeez._ Bucky usually didn't get this frantic, unless the situation was very serious. 

 

Getting up from bed, making sure not to disturb Y/N who was still fast asleep, I pulled on my sweatpants. Walking out of my bedroom, to the main entrance of my apartment, I opened the door and picked up the newspapers that were lying on the doormat, freshly delivered. 

 

It took a moment for my sleepy eyes to focus on the headline on the front page, but once I read it, my heart began to race with shock: 

 

_'BABY JOY FOR CAPTAIN AMERICA!'_

 

_'World War legend and leader of the Avengers, Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America is expecting his first child with his girlfriend Sharon Carter, niece of the founding member of SHIELD, Margaret "Peggy" Carter. Our exclusive source further reports that Captain Rogers is "ecstatic" and "over the moon" with the baby news. "We are excited and feel so overwhelmed with joy. Motherhood is truly a blessing," says Sharon Carter. Furthermore...'_

 

Fucking hell. 

 

I ran back to my room and frantically dialed Bucky's number. He picked up on the first ring. 

 

"How are you? Where's Y/N? Did you find her? Where are you? Did you read it?" he asked me, without saying even so much as a "hello". 

 

I sighed. 

 

"I'm fine, Buck. I'm at my place, with Y/N. I've found her. She is sleeping. Yes... I just read the announcement..." 

 

"What are you going to do about it?" he asked. "How's Y/N?" 

 

"She's _fine,_ Bucky. She's okay. We just.... Made up. In a way.... And now this article... _Shit._ How am I going to tell her?" I asked him. 

 

"You made up?" Bucky asked, confused. 

 

I sighed again, rolling my eyes. _"Yes,_ Bucky. We _made up..._ Get it?" 

 

"Oh... _Oh! That_ way! Well good for you, dog. Actually...not that good, because Y/N is going to be _so pissed_ about the whole article thing. You should _see_ this place, Stevie! Gifts have started arriving for your 'little bundle of joy' from all over the world. Pepper is already planning a baby shower. This place is _nuts."_  

 

"Bucky... Can you come over here, please? I need you with me on this... When I show the article to Y/N..." 

 

"Yeah, okay," Bucky said. "I'll be there in half an hour. Make sure Y/N doesn't read the article till then."

 

"I'll do that," I replied. "Come here _quickly.."_  

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? 
> 
> How should the reader react to the article?


	124. Breakfast In Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio talks it out...

Reader's POV 

 

I woke up to a _horrible_ headache, which felt like someone was drilling a hole through my skull. Groaning, I turned away from the sunlight streaming in through the windows. "Fuck... Make it _stop..."_  

 

I heard Bucky's chuckle, followed by his footsteps and then the sound of curtains being drawn over. _Thank goodness._  

 

I carefully opened my eyes and saw that Bucky was kneeling on the floor beside the bed. 

"Cocaine? _Seriously?"_ was the first thing he asked me, looking extremely worried.

 

I groaned again. "Bucky, _please,_ lecture me later, okay? Just make this headache stop..." 

 

He placed his bionic hand on my forehead and I sighed in relief at the feeling of the cool metal on my skin. "Coke and booze, on top of being sick in the first place. No wonder you're knocked out cold, doll. But that didn't stop you from, uh, _reuniting_ with Steve last night..." he said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

 

"Oh my god. You _heard?"_  

 

He chuckled. "Oh yeah." 

Placing a kiss on my forehead, he helped me sit up. Propping me up against the headboard, he walked over to Steve's wardrobe and pulled out one of his t shirts, tossing it to me. "Here, wear this. There's something you need to see..." 

 

I pulled on the shirt. "What? What is it?" 

 

"Steve! Come on in!" Bucky called out, sitting down on the bed beside me, handing me my glasses. I put them on, just as Steve walked into the bedroom, with a tray of food in hand. 

 

"Oooh, breakfast in bed! _Wow..._ It must be some _real_ bad news, since you guys went all out for it..." I said, looking intently at Steve as he placed the tray containing my breakfast of omelette, toast and juice on my lap, without even meeting my gaze. 

 

"Here..." he said, quietly handing me the newspaper. 

 

"Steve..." I chided playfully, opening up the paper. "Come on, it can't be that ba- _Oh my god."_  

 

"Yeah..." Bucky said, as I read the article containing the announcement of Sharon and Steve's baby, my eyes darting quickly over the words. 

 

 _"Jesus._ She sure acts fast..." I said, once I had finished reading, looking up at Steve. "What are you going to do about this, Steve?" 

 

Steve looked at me, utterly shocked. "Wait... You're not angry?" 

 

I shook my head. "No, Steve, I'm not angry. In fact, I'm worried about you. How are you taking all of this?" 

 

Steve looked at me silently for a long moment, and then he smiled ruefully. "I don't deserve you, Y/N. I mean after everything I've done, you're asking _me_ how _I'_ _m_ feeling? How are _you_ feeling about this, Y/N? That's my biggest concern right now..." 

 

I sighed. "Honestly, Steve, I don't know how I feel... I mean, it does hurt, Sharon being pregnant with your child. It hurts a _lot._ But on some level, I don't want to believe it... Or maybe it hasn't sunk in yet. I don't know..." I trailed off. 

 

"I understand..." Steve said, placing his hand on mine. 

 

"I just... I want you to be truthful about one thing, Steve..." I said, my eyes flicking to Bucky for a second. 

 

"Yeah? What is it?" 

 

"What do you want? I mean... _Who_ do you want? Was last night a mistake? Do you regret it?" I asked him, looking at him right in the eyes. 

 

"Y/N... Its _you_ I want. I love you. You can read my mind to know that I'm not lying... I _love_ you and I want you. And I don't regret last night. Not even for a second..." he said, lacing his fingers with mine. 

 

"I love you too, Steve. And I _know_ that you're telling the truth. But you need to think about this whole situation with Sharon... You need to sort it out," I said. He nodded. 

 

We all remained silent for a long moment. 

Then Bucky pouted. "No one loves Bucky..." 

 

"Awwww..." I pulled him into a hug, laughing. "I _lurve_ you too Bucky baby!" I squealed. And the three of us burst into laughter. 

Suddenly, I had an idea. A realization. 

"Steve? Can I ask you something?" I asked, all traces of laughter vanishing. 

"Yeah, tell me?" 

"Can you ask Sharon to take a paternity test?" 

He looked at me for a long moment, totally silent. "You don't believe that the baby is mine?" he asked quietly. 

"No, we don't..." replied Bucky, all too frankly. I shot him a look. 

"Steve, what Bucky means to say is that the timing of this pregnancy seems quite... _opportune,_ if you know what I'm saying. And I think we all deserve to know if the baby is yours or not. And if Sharon is telling the truth, then she has nothing to hide..."  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?  
> 


	125. Positive

Reader's POV 

 

Bucky, Steve, Sharon and I were sitting in the living room of Sharon's apartment. 

 

Steve cleared his throat uncomfortably. 

 

"Uh, Sharon, we're here to ask you... All three of us, that is... We want you to take a DNA test. To determine the paternity of the baby..." 

 

She smiled sweetly. "Of course, Stevie. I _love_ tests," she said smugly, looking right at me. 

 

__________________ 

 

'POSITIVE' 

 

I had the paternity test reports on my hand and out of the jumble of words, only that one word stood out. _POSITIVE._  

 

_Well, fuck me. I need a break here._

 

Bucky whistled quietly. "Well, it _is_ yours, Stevie." 

 

"Yep," I said, still staring at that one word. "Its yours." 

 

Steve looked pained. "Yeah, she's two and a half months along. So we can't tell the gender of the baby just yet... And I'm so fucking _scared!_ I don't know what I'm going to do..." he said, bowing his head, clutching at the roots of his hair in frustration. 

 

"Well, for starters, start researching baby names. Also, set up a separate bank account for the child's expenses. His education...all of that stuff. You need to start _now,_ Steve," Bucky said. I stared at him in disbelief and a sense of admiration. 

 

So Bucky _had_ given all of these things a thought... He would've made a great father, that much was certain. Too bad I was ill equipped to fulfill that wish of his... 

 

 _"Doll,"_ Bucky's warning tone brought my attention back. "You're overthinking," he said, giving me a meaningful look. 

I smiled at how well he knew me. He could tell exactly what I was thinking. And _I_ was supposed to be the one with telepathy. 

 

"You're right, Buck," I said. Turning to Steve I said, "Do what Bucky is saying, Steve. You need to start preparing for the arrival of the little one... And God, he's going to be lucky kid, having you as a father..." 

 

"And Bucky as his godfather...." Steve added. Bucky's eyebrows shot up. 

 

 _"Godfather?_ Me, Steve?" he asked. 

 

"Obviously, Buck. I wouldn't have it any other way... You will spoil the hell out of him....or her," Steve said, patting Bucky on the shoulder. I felt a sudden pang of pain, my thoughts drifting instantly to Jamie and Stephanie... _My little girls..._

 

My eyes suddenly filled up with tears which I had no control over. I took a deep, steadying breath, blinking back the tears and swallowing the painful lump in my throat. "I just... Excuse me..." I mumbled, getting up and rushing straight to my bedroom. 

 

Shutting the door and locking it behind me, I collapsed onto the floor, burying my face into my hands, letting the pain flow... 

Tears of anger, tears of pain, tears of frustration... 

 

I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to muffle my sobs, trying to prevent the boys from hearing me. 

 

_Y/N, its not your fault, my sweet._

 

My heart sped up at the sound of Stephen's voice in my mind... 

 

_It hurts, Stephen. I can't help it! It hurts... Not being able to give them that... I feel so worthless!_

 

In the blink of an eye, to my utter amazement, Stephen materialized in front of me, out of thin air. 

He kneeled down in front of me, holding out his arms to me in silent invitation. 

 

"Stephen! You're here!" I flung my arms around him, so _happy_ to see him. 

 

He chuckled. "Of course I'm here... I couldn't keep away any longer. I had to see you," he said, burying his face in my hair. "I missed you..." 

 

"I missed you _too,"_ I breathed. "But how did you..."  

 

He pulled away. "We shared powers, remember? I can feel _everything_ you can, almost like they're my _own_ emotions." 

 

"I'm _so happy_ to see you, Stephen..." I whispered, looking at him. 

 

He reached out and pulled off my tear stained glasses. "I'm happy to see you too, darling. Now, you need to stop crying. What is this nonsense about feeling worthless? You're anything but that... You saved my _life,"_ he said, wiping my glasses clean with a handful of his crimson cape. 

 

I looked at him quietly for a long moment, watching the _Sorcerer Supreme_ clean _my_ glasses with his Cloak of Levitation. Suddenly, I snorted. 

 

"What?" he asked me, raising an eyebrow. 

 

I chuckled through my tears. "Nothing... Its just that the Sorcerer Supreme, Protector of the Dimensions is cleaning _my_ glasses on his Cloak of Levitation... Its funny..." 

 

He smiled. "I'm glad I amuse you..." he said, gently wiping my tears away. "You don't need to shed any more tears, darling. Crying over things you cannot control... _that's_ worthless, not you. Now, you promise me that until I come back you'll focus on your training and nothing else. No self destructive behavior of any kind. No drinking, no drugs, no anything, you understand? You're _very_ precious to me, Y/N," he said, his blue eyes gazing intently at me as he put my now clean glasses back, pushing them up my nose. 

 

I nodded. "I promise, Stephen. But... You're going back? I thought you had returned!" 

 

He shook his head. "You were distressed. That's why I came to see you the first chance I got. But now I have to go back. If you need me, just call for me, okay? We shall resume training when I return..." 

 

"And when are you coming back?" 

 

"In a few days," he said. "I'll be in touch. And when I come back, we'll have to work on your battle suit as well..." 

 

"My battle suit... Oh yeah. I think its about time I wore something else in the field, you know? Those standard issue Avengers uniforms are getting pretty boring," I pouted. 

 

He chuckled. "I _know._ We'll work something out for you. Something that suits your style," he added, winking.

 

"Can I have something similar to the color of your tunic? I _really_ like that blue..." 

 

He grinned. _"Absolutely,_ my sweet. All in good time," he said, placing a kiss on my forehead before he vanished into thin air.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, the baby IS Steve's. That changes things.... Or does it?


	126. I'm With You

Reader's POV 

 

Wanda landed on the training mats, flat on her back with a 'thud'... Yet _again._  

 

"Y/N, this is not _fair!"_ she shrieked in frustration, panting. I chuckled. 

 

"All is fair in love and war, my lady," I said, offering her a hand, helping her sit up. 

 

"You're getting good," she said, brushing her hair off her face. _"Really_ good..." 

 

I grinned. "Thanks, Wanda. You're the best, especially for letting me make you my personal training doll," I quipped and she swatted me on the arm, laughing. 

 

"Yeah, yeah... I'll get you on your back next time, Y/N," she said, her eyes glinting with determination. 

 

Wanda was my _favorite_ sparring partner. With her, I could truly practice with my powers at their fullest potential. Our training sessions would mostly take up the entire area, with the rest of the Avengers sitting on the sidelines, watching and cheering. 

It was _fun,_ practicing with her. My sister from another mister... 

 

My powers didn't show up like hers did, in the form of red blasts of energy. My force field was invisible, less perceptible, which definitely gave me the advantage of stealth. 

 

Training with Stephen was useful. _Very_ useful. The fact that I had been training with him right from the start, when my powers were just beginning to manifest, meant that I had greater control over them now. My powers controlled _me_ before, now I controlled _them._  

 

It was amazing, the things I could do with the flick of my wrist. I could levitate objects, as big as full sized trucks now. Or if I wanted, I could crush and disintegrate them entirely. I could heal my own wounds, as well as those of others. I could read minds and communicate with others. And of course, there was astral projection... The splitting of my soul from my body. Astral projection was one thing that I was reluctant to perform without Stephen's supervision. He had warned me about the all too horrifying dangers of the process, if it went wrong.

 

Wanda stood up, taking up her stance. "Ready?" I asked her, bracing myself. 

"Yeah, bring it..." she grinned. And we were off.

 

She shot a blaze of red light at me, which I dodged, stepping nimbly to the side while deflecting it with my powers. 

 

I raised my hands, using my telekinesis to freeze Wanda mid-motion, making her levitate in the air. 

"Y/N, let me _go!"_ she cried, struggling against the invisible bonds I had captured her in. I grinned at her, making her rise in the air, almost till the ceiling, which was quite high. And then suddenly, I dropped her. 

 

Flailing her arms, she fell, but I caught her just before she hit the ground, holding her up a few inches off the ground. 

 

"Did you _really_ think I was going to let you fall?" I asked her as she regained her footing. 

 

She didn't reply, only sent another blast of her signature red energy at me. Which I blocked, deflected and sent right back at her. It hit her square in the chest...

 

 _"Oof!"_  

 

She landed on her back yet again and I suppressed a chuckle. 

 

"Okay... That's enough..." I heard Steve's voice from the corner of the room. He walked into the training room and helped Wanda back to her feet. "Wanda, you can go now... Take some rest," he said to her. 

 

Wanda gave me a sly look. "Thanks, Steve," she said, walking away. "Oh, by the way, don't have sex on the mats, Y/N!" she called out, giggling on her way out. 

Steve turned bright red in the face, much to my amusement. 

 

"Hi, Steve!" I sang. 

 

He smiled at me. "I'm going to train you in hand to hand combat, Y/N." 

 

"Is that what the kids are calling it these days?" I asked, wiggling my eyebrows suggestively. He chuckled. 

 

"No, I'm _serious,_ Y/N. You're great with your powers. But I want to see how you can cope in situations without them..." he said. 

 

"Alright," I said, grinning as I took up my fighting stance. "Attack me, Cap." 

 

Steve launched a series of punches at me, coming at me from different directions. I dodged each of them, backing up before sending a kick at him, which he avoided easily.

 

"Come on, Y/N, you can do better..." he said, before sending an uppercut my way. I grabbed his arm and twisted it, making him wince. Then using my legs, which I wrapped around his waist, I twisted myself around him, forcing him onto the ground. This was a move I had seen Natasha do countless times. It _never_ got old. 

 

I pinned Steve's arms to his sides on the mat, straddling him, keeping him down. He looked up at me like a deer caught in the headlights. I laughed at his expression. 

 

"Looks like I win, Captain..." I said, placing a chaste kiss on his lips before releasing him and standing up. 

 

He stayed flat on the ground. _"Yeah..."_ He replied, dazed. "You're doing very well." 

 

 _"Awwww._ Thank you, Stevie," I said, walking to the benches on the sides, grabbing my water bottle and taking a sip. "Now. Why are you _really_ here?" 

 

He stood up, dusting his clothes. "I wanted to talk to you, Y/N." 

 

I sat down on the bench and patted a spot beside me, beckoning him to sit. "Tell me..." 

 

He sat down next to me. "I'm worried about you." 

 

I scoffed. _"Worried?_ Why?" 

 

"About the whole baby thing with Sharon, Y/N. How are you? What are you feeling? What are you thinking?" he asked me, genuine worry shining in his blue eyes. 

 

"I don't know, Steve. I'm pretty numb about the whole baby thing. It still hasn't sunken in yet, I guess. But I know one thing with all my heart... And that is that I love you. That pretty much settles it all for me." 

 

His eyes softened. "I really don't know what good I did to deserve you..." 

 

 _"Shhh,_ Steve," I said, placing my hand on his. "I'm with you.... Like Bucky says. Till the end of the line..." 

 

"I love you, Y/N. _So much..."_ he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small velvet box. 

 

I gasped. "Steve..." 

 

He smiled. A pure, radiant, ear to ear smile that was absolutely contagious. "I've been meaning to give this to you for a _long_ time. I bought it four months after we started dating..." he said, opening the box. "Obviously, a lot has happened since then..." 

Inside was a ring. A band of diamonds encrusted into white gold. He took it out. 

 

Holding it in front of me, he took my left hand in his. I was too stunned to speak. 

 

"I know Bucky beat me to it," he said, his fingers brushing lightly against the ring Bucky had given me, which was still on my finger. "But Y/N, will you give me a chance to make up for all the times I've been an absolute jerk to you? Even if it takes me the rest of my life?" he asked, his eyes alight with nothing but pure love. 

 

"Yes..." I whispered, tears springing into my eyes. 

 

He placed the ring on my finger. The same finger where I wore Bucky's ring. I stared at both the rings nestled together on my left hand ring finger. They complemented each other _beautifully..._

Looking up at Steve, I smiled, too stunned and _happy_ to speak.

 

"I love you..." he said, his own eyes glistening with tears. 

 

I pulled him into a kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on this chapter?


	127. Captain

Reader's POV 

 

It was all too familiar, yet different each time. 

 

But I was too worn out to care. Steve had hoisted me up into his arms, carrying me from the training room, straight to his bed...

 

 _"Oh..."_ I moaned, feeling his lips latch onto the soft skin of my inner thigh. Already spent from our previous round, I ran my fingers lazily through his hair, closing my eyes. 

He sucked at my flesh, and I knew there was going to be a bruise left behind on my inner thigh come morning. 

 

Running his tongue along my folds, he slipped two fingers into my dripping core. He _curled_ them, stroking that sensitive spot, making my breath hitch. 

 

I gave his hair a tug. "I _need_ you, Steve," I whined. He chuckled, his fingers plunging into me with tantalizing slowness. 

 

"Not yet..." he murmured, his tongue slipping into my folds. I gasped, feeling his skilled tongue find my bundle of nerves with ease, rolling and lashing against it. 

 

My head fell back against the pillows, hands clutching at his hair, holding him to me as my hips undulated against his mouth. He played me with his tongue, so _warm_ and _delicious,_ while his fingers plunged into me. I bit my lip, trying to stifle a moan, trying _so hard_ not to give him the satisfaction of the fact that he had me _exactly_ where he wanted me. _At his mercy..._

 

His efforts doubled, making my breath hitch, his tongue and fingers working me vigorously. My hands clutched at the sheets, but I didn't make a sound, burying my face into the pillow. I was _so close,_ but I wasn't going to give in, not yet. Two could play this game...

 

He noticed my silent defiance and pulled away from me. "So _stubborn..."_ he chuckled, settling down on his knees between my legs.  

I felt him kiss his way up my body, until he reached my ear. 

 

His warm breath ghosted over my earlobe, making me shiver. "Stop this rebellion. Be mine..." he whispered. 

I was already his. He knew it. I knew it. 

This was just a game we played... 

 

Cupping my cheek, he turned me to face him, capturing my lips in a _smoldering_ kiss. I kissed him back, unable to help myself. I could taste myself on his tongue, letting him explore my mouth thoroughly. 

 

 _"Captain..."_ I moaned when we broke apart, knowing that addressing him like that was the surest way of getting a rise out of him. He _always_ loved it when I played the damsel in distress in the bedroom. 

 

He didn't disappoint. His pupils were dilated with lust as he looked at me, his gaze holding me captive. 

"I _need_ you..." I moaned again, stroking his jaw. 

 

Smiling wickedly, he pulled me into another kiss. His hand grasped my hair, tilting my head back as he ravaged my mouth into submission. 

 

"I'm going to _ruin_ you tonight, sweetheart," he said darkly, nipping at my bottom lip. 

 

"Do it, _Captain..."_ I gasped. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Steve smut next, anyone?


	128. Love You More

Reader's POV 

 

"How do you want me, Captain?" I asked, running my hands along his thighs, running my tongue lazily along his shaft. 

 

His fingers curled in my hair and he guided me back down. "Ready me with that sweet mouth of yours," he commanded. Winking at him, I complied. 

 

 _"Fuck..."_ he groaned, his head falling back against the pillows as I took him into my mouth again, as much as I could. 

 

I hummed, running my tongue along his length, swirling it over the tip, tasting him. His hips began to rise and fall in time with my bobbing head as I hollowed out my cheeks, making him groan with each suck... 

 

While working him with my mouth, I stroked this thighs with slow, sensual touches, watching him writhe under me... 

"Okay... That's _enough..."_ he groaned, his grip tightening my hair. Reluctantly, I released him from my mouth, but not before giving his tip one last lick. 

 

I looked up at him questioningly. "I want you to fuck yourself on my cock while I spank you. _Understood?"_ he asked, placing his hands on my hips and guiding me to straddle him. 

 

"Yes, _Captain..."_ I cooed, sweeping my hair away from my shoulders, giving him a good view of my breasts. 

 

His eyes seared me with their intensity as I positioned myself over him, before sinking down on his waiting shaft. 

 

 _"Fuck..."_ I moaned. 

 

 _Smack!_  

 

I gasped at the sharp blow to my ass, feeling its pain mingle deliciously with the pleasure of him filling me up entirely. 

 

 _"Language..."_ he growled, palming my ass, massaging the flesh to soothe the pain. 

 

 _"Move,"_ he commanded, giving me another slap on my ass. 

 

Bracing my hands on the headboard, I began to move, riding him. I began with a slow, teasing rhythm, taking him _fully,_ to the hilt. 

 

 _"Faster..."_ he growled, his one arm wrapping around my waist, holding me trapped, while he gave me a few quick smacks. My ass was going to be so bruised tomorrow. 

 

Keeping my eyes locked on his, I began to move faster, circling my hips as I did so, making sure that he stroked all of my most sensitive spots inside. 

 

 _"That's_ my good girl..." he pulled my nipple into his mouth, running his tongue over it before giving it a quick bite. 

 

 _"Captain!"_ I gasped, my hands gripping the headboard harder, my eyes fluttering shut with pleasure. 

 

He groaned against my breast, thrusting up into me. My orgasm was approaching fast, my inner walls clenching around him, my juices running down his length... 

 

"I'm... I'm so close..." I moaned. 

 

He stopped. 

 

Crying out in frustration, I tried to use my position to regain some control, but his hands gripped my hips, stilling me. 

 

 _"Steve!"_  

 

The bastard had the gall to _chuckle._ I wanted to slap that smug look off his face. But he quickly switched positions, flipping me so that I was lying on my back under him. 

 

Grabbing my thighs, he opened them, stretching them almost _painfully_ apart. And then he plunged fully into me. 

 _"Oh, Steve..."_  

 

He chuckled quietly and gave me a few quick thrusts. "That's _'Captain'_ to you, miss..."  

 

I pulled him down for a kiss, sighing in relief when our lips met. He kissed me hungrily, possessively, his hips snapping into mine, creating that incredible slick friction that made my back arch...

 

 _"Captain..."_ I moaned, my nails digging into his broad shoulders, arching into him, pressing my breasts against his chest. 

 

"Come _on,_ come for me..." he growled, thrusting harder with each word, sweat beading on his forehead. 

"Come with me..." he groaned into my neck, his hand slipping between my legs, fingers deftly seeking my clit, rolling and stroking that sensitive nub, thrusting relentlessly. 

 

 _"Captain!"_ I cried out, loud enough that people two floors above would hear, finally slipping into that familiar ecstasy. 

 

Steve followed moments after, filling me with his warmth, collapsing against me, still thrusting slowly, trying to prolong our peaks. 

 

We lay together, still intertwined, trying to recover from our highs. Eventually, he slipped out of me. Suddenly I felt so cold and empty. 

 

Laying down beside me, he pulled me into his arms, kissing me deeply. 

"I love you, Y/N..." he said, pressing his forehead to mine. 

 

"I love you _more,_ my Captain..." I breathed, pulling him into another kiss... 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on the chapter?


	129. Suit Up

Reader's POV 

 

"See, I don't want a suit like Natasha's. Its _too_ skintight and I will never be able to pull it off the way she does..." I told Stephen, sitting cross legged in front of him on the floor of the Sanctum. 

 

He nodded, lost in thought. "I think something flowy will suit you better..." 

 

"Yeah, a long, flowy tunic of sorts, something like the one Wanda wears? But _longer._ It'll look better with my height," I said. "I want the tunic to be _blue,_ Stephen. And the rest of the suit should be black. Boots and leggings, all black," I added. 

 

"And a cape?" he asked, quirking a brow at me. 

 

"No, _no._ No capes. I don't know how you and Thor pull them off..." I said, shaking my head vigorously at the thought. "I'll look like a total _idiot_ in a cape." 

 

He chuckled. 

 

"I think I've figured out what you're looking for, Y/N," he said, waving his hand with a flourish. And my suit materialized on the floor beside me, the tunic a deep blue, exactly the same color as the one Stephen usually wore. But it had black accents and it was a bit more, uh, modern looking than Stephen's. More feminine too.

 

"Try it on," he said, encouragingly. 

 

I gathered up the clothes, marveling at how _soft_ and comfortable the fabrics felt, walking to the nearest empty room. 

 

Changing quickly into the suit, I was amazed at how _comfortable_ it felt. And the suit fit me like a glove, just right. The overall effect of the suit made me look taller, more imposing somehow... I was fastening on the boots when Stephen called me back outside. 

 

"Yes," he said, grinning at me as I walked out. I couldn't describe the feeling as I turned around to look at myself in the mirror. 

 

"You look _incredible..."_ he said, stepping up behind me, smiling at my reflection in the mirror. 

 

"Thanks, Stephen..." I smiled. "You're like a superhero fairy godmother!" 

 

He laughed.

 

"Now the material that makes your suit is fire-resistant, bulletproof and-" 

 

"Its so _comfortable..."_ I sighed, running my hand along my arm. "Thank you so much, Stephen." 

 

"You're welcome..." he shrugged. "Anytime." 

 

"I should go to the Tower and see everyone's reaction to my new suit..." I said excitedly. 

 

"Yeah, you should. Hang on, I'll teleport you..." he said. "Ready?" he asked, raising his hand. 

 

"Yep..." I said. 

 

He waved his hand and a second later, I was standing in front of Bucky and Steve in the training area of the Avengers Tower. 

 

Their reactions were priceless. Slack jawed, they stared at me. 

 

 _"Whoa..."_ Bucky said, his eyes wide.

 

"Is that your..." Steve stuttered. 

 

"Yep," I said, twirling around to give them a good view. "This is my suit!" 

 

"You look _amazing..."_ Steve said, walking up to me. 

 

"Yeah," Bucky agreed, nodding. "But, can I make a suggestion?" he asked. 

 

"Tell me..." I said. 

 

He walked over to me, standing beside Steve. Reaching out, he pulled my hair free from its messy bun that I had tied it into. Running his fingers through my hair, he freed them, sending them cascading down my back. 

 

"Always leave your hair down, Y/N. You look _beautiful_ this way..." he said. 

Steve shrugged. 

"I'd rather get you out of that suit, Y/N. What do you say, Buck?" 

Bucky grinned deviously, pulling me into his arms. "Let's do that, Stevie." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	130. Command

Reader's POV 

 

"I'll race you to the bedroom!" I giggled, pulling myself out of Bucky's arms, bolting out of the training room. 

 

"Wait!" I heard Steve call out and sure enough I could hear them follow close behind me, laughing. 

 

"Hey, Cap, I had some suggestions regarding my training regime-" Sam called out to Steve just as we passed by him. 

 

_"Not_ now, Sam!" Steve yelled out and I broke into another fit of giggles, imagining the look on Sam's face as we ran past him into the elevator. 

 

"Shut the door, FRIDAY!" Bucky commanded Tony's AI, while Steve pressed me against the wall, his lips attacking mine. "Straight to our floor. No stopping." 

 

"Of course, sir," came the AI's reply. 

 

I felt Steve smile against my lips, his hands running down my waist to grab my bottom, pulling my hips against him. He was hard _already._  

 

"Fucking hell, Stevie..." I mumbled between crazed kisses. "You _really_ like the suit, huh?" 

 

"You have _no idea..."_ he rolled his hips into mine, giving my ass a squeeze. 

 

I pulled away from Steve's lips to look at Bucky who was standing there, his hands gripping the elevator rails, a positively devilish grin on his face. 

 

"What?" I asked. 

 

He smiled. "I just _love_ watching you two..." 

 

Steve rolled his eyes and pulled Bucky to him for a kiss, his hand gripping Bucky's dark hair. I watched them silently as they kissed, biting my lip, in a trance. 

 

The elevator door opened with a "ding" and the boys pulled away from each other. 

"Come on," Bucky said, pulling me in for a kiss, lifting me up into his arms while Steve led the way. 

 

Opening the door for us, always the gentleman, Steve gave FRIDAY a series of commands, something along the lines of a _"lockdown protocol initiation"_ for our floor, which I barely heard as I was too busy kissing Bucky who carried me _straight_ to our bedroom. 

 

On the way, I freed Bucky of his shirt, throwing it away. He lay me down on the bed and immediately began to work on undressing me, his hands frantic. 

 

"Hey! Its new, be gentle!" I barely had time to say before Steve pulled me into a kiss. Bucky slid down the zipper of my tunic, opening it up, his lips running along my neck, while I kissed Steve...

 

"Just give me a moment..." I said, breaking away from Steve. "I'll take it off or you'll tear it..." 

 

"Damn _right_ I will..." Bucky growled against my neck. I chuckled and pulled myself away from them both reluctantly. Standing up, I began to strip. Both of them sat still as statues, their eyes burning as they watched me undress. 

 

"Oh my god, take off your clothes boys! You can't expect them to come off by themselves!" I said, unzipping my boots. 

 

I watched in amusement as Steve and Bucky broke out of their respective trances and began to undress. 

 

Once we were free of our clothes, we took a moment to look at each other in total silence. 

 

_"Finally..."_ Steve sighed. Bucky grinned. "I know right?" 

 

I climbed into bed and straight into Bucky's lap. "Stop talking..." I said, pulling him into a kiss. 

 

His arms came around me and Steve came up behind me. Steve swept my hair away from my shoulder, kissing along my neck lovingly. I moaned against Bucky's lips, grinding my ass against Steve's length. 

 

Steve groaned against my neck. "Right, I've had enough. _Sergeant,_ lay her down," he said, his tone authoritative. 

 

Bucky pulled away from my lips, looking at Steve with his brow quirked. A silent, unspoken agreement passed between them and I suppressed a smile. I knew _exactly_ where this was heading...

 

"Of course, Captain," Bucky said, laying me down on my back. 

 

"Spread her legs and tend to her with your mouth. Use your tongue, teeth, lips and fingers.... The _metal_  fingers, mind. You make her come as many times as it pleases me, understood, Sergeant?" Steve asked. 

 

Bucky grinned at Steve, placing soft kisses along my inner thighs as he opened my legs. "As you command, Captain." 

 

I gasped as Bucky licked slowly along my folds, using his flesh fingers to separate them, his tongue slipping between them...

 

_"Oh..."_ I moaned as Bucky's mouth came down on me, his tongue slipping into my folds, finding that sensitive bundle of nerves with ease, flicking against it. He placed my legs up over his shoulders, a sign of domination. 

 

Steve's lips came down on mine in a _filthy_ kiss, his tongue slipping into my mouth, his hands cupping my breasts. I moaned into the kiss as Bucky plunged a metal finger into me. _Cold_ and _smooth,_ he curled the metal digit, stroking my inner walls, his tongue on my clit. 

 

My hands were in their hair, gripping tight, holding Bucky between my legs and Steve against my lips. Wrenching my mouth away from Steve, I cried out, feeling my first peak rush through me... 

Bucky licked every last bit of my juices and it created an obscene wet sound. 

 

_"Again,_ Sergeant..." Steve commanded, taking my nipple between his lips, making my back arch. Bucky's grip on my thighs tightened and he buried his face between my legs, his efforts increasing. 

 

My breath hitched in my throat and I moaned _"Sergeant"_ and _"Captain"_ over and over again, until my second orgasm washed over me. 

 

My nipples were almost painfully sore, when Steve pulled away from my breasts. "That's enough, Sergeant," he told Bucky, who pulled away from between my legs, his lips glistening. Steve's one hand slipped lazily into my folds, testing the wetness while he used his other hand to grasp Bucky's hair and pull him into a kiss. 

 

I sighed, watching them kiss, raising my hips into Steve's gentle yet firm fingers. It was the most erotic sight, watching Steve taste me off Bucky's lips. 

 

"She tastes good, doesn't she?" he asked Steve when they broke apart. 

 

Steve ran his tongue along Bucky's lips, before pulling his fingers out of me and licking them clean. "Yes, she does, Sergeant. You did well." 

 

"Thank you, Captain," Bucky replied. 

 

Steve turned his attention to me, pressing soft kisses to my inner thigh. "We're nowhere done with you, princess..." 

 

He lifted me up into his arms effortlessly, repositioning me so that I was in his lap. Placing his hand on my ass, he plunged straight into me, with no warning whatsoever. 

_"Captain!"_ I cried out.

 

His other hand gripped my hair, pulling me into a _deep_ kiss. I clung to him, helpless. 

 

"Now, Sergeant, since you've done so well, I'm going to allow you to watch as I fuck our little kitten here..." he said, looking at Bucky, rolling his hips into mine, making me gasp. 

 

Bucky grinned at Steve, getting up from the bed and sitting down on the couch. "I'm here for the show, Captain," he said, running his bionic hand along his length. "When do _I_ get to fuck her?" 

 

"After me," Steve replied, pulling out, almost entirely, before surging back into me, drawing a moan from my lips. "I'll be watching you two. And then we'll take her together, alright?" 

 

"Sounds like a plan, Captain..." Bucky replied, smiling wickedly at the two of us.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More, my loves?


	131. Sorcerer Supreme

Stephen's POV 

 

"You've grown attached to the girl, Stephen," The Ancient One spoke, a wry smile on her face. "Could it be love?" 

 

"I... I don't know," I replied, lowering my gaze, defeated. 

 

 _"Nonsense!"_ Mordo cried out. "The Sorcerer Supreme, Protector of the Dimensions, has fallen in love with a mere mortal?" 

 

"She is _not_ a mere mortal..." I began, but Mordo bulled right over me. 

 

"Ohhh, this is just _classic,_ Stephen. Falling in love with your disciple," he scoffed. "Tell me, have you married this one yet?" 

 

I glared at him. "Mordo, _be quiet_ this second." 

 

"Or what will you do, huh?" he grinned menacingly, stepping forward. 

 

"Mordo..." The Ancient One spoke up, always the picture of calm and serenity. "Leave us." 

 

"But-" he began to protest. 

 

"Just _leave,"_ she added again. Mordo bowed his head and left reluctantly, but not before adding, "I said it before and I'll say it again, Stephen Strange was the _wrong_ choice for becoming the Sorcerer Supreme." 

 

I sighed as he slammed the door shut behind him. 

 

"What is so special about this girl?" the Ancient One asked me, gazing at me intently. 

 

"I... I don't know. Its her simplicity and her complicatedness. Her rage and her joy. Her vulnerabilities and her strengths... That's what drew me in first..." I spoke. 

 

"I _can't_  get her out of my head, and it is not because I shared her powers, Ancient One, no. She had taken over my thoughts long before that. I feel this...this _overwhelming urge_ to protect her. To keep her from harm. And what I find incredible about her is how unselfishly, unflinchingly, she puts herself in danger to protect the ones she cares about. Its different this time. She's so radically different from Clea." 

 

"How so?" the Ancient One urged me on. 

 

"Clea had come to me when she needed help, when she was at her weakest. But as she gained strength, became my equal, a selfishness began to grow in her heart. That's what separated her from me," I said, trying so hard to put my feelings into words. "But Y/N, when she was weak, she didn't hesitate even for a moment to save me, to save my _life._ She endangered her own life, without so much as a second thought. Its that... That _purity_ of her heart, that drew me to her." 

 

The Ancient One smiled. "You _are_ in love..." 

 

I bowed my head. "I suppose I am..." I sighed. 

 

"What are you going to do about it?" she asked. 

 

"I _can't_ do anything about it, Ancient One," I said, a sadness taking over my voice. "She is happy with her soldiers. And I _know_ how much they love her and how much she loves them. I know how much they have been through. I won't be selfish and complicate things for her by confessing my feelings..." 

 

"If you keep something as complicated as love buried in your heart, it will affect you-" 

 

"No, Ancient One. I have taken utmost care to keep my feelings hidden from her, especially after we shared powers. I will _not_ let her know how I feel... I will not jeopardize her happiness," I spoke. "I will protect her from pain and if the confession of my true feelings could be a cause of distress for her, its best she never knows about it..." 

 

"Then what _will_ you do, Stephen?" she asked me. 

 

"I will just love her...from afar," I sighed. "And keep her safe, because I _can't bear_ to see her hurt." 

 

"You _are_ in love, Stephen..." she said again, smiling. 

 

"I just want her to be _happy,"_ I said. "That's _all_ I want for her." 

 

"And how long will you keep denying yourself?" 

 

"For as _long_ as I can, Ancient One. For as long as I can..." 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	132. Longing

Stephen's POV

 

It was pure agony and ecstasy, being inside _her_ mind. Sensing _her_ thoughts. Feeling _her_ feelings. 

 

She was going to be the death of me. 

 

I had been sitting in my room, meditating in the quiet of the night when I felt her in my mind. Her _pleasure,_ to be exact. 

 

I gasped, my eyes shooting open. _Lust._ Pure, unadulterated lust hit me, like the proverbial ton of bricks. It knocked the wind out of my lungs. 

 

Heart pounding, my mind went straight to her. _What was she doing now? Wait, that was a stupid question... It was obvious what she was doing..._

 

I could feel myself grow hard, as her pleasure _seeped_ through my mind, _unfurling_ inside me, mixing with my own feelings until I couldn't distinguish between mine and hers anymore. 

 

Gasping, I stood up, locking the door of my room. I closed my eyes for just a moment and there she was, in _her garden,_ as pure and beautiful as the rays of the sun. 

 

 _"No..."_ I told myself, willing myself to open my eyes. I couldn't afford this, there was too much at stake. I _wouldn't_ cross that line. She _couldn't_ know. 

 

 _"Goddammit,_ Y/N," I groaned, feeling my arousal twitch and strain against the fabric of my pants as another wave of her ecstasy ran through me. 

It wasn't fair. This sweet, tantalizing torture...

 

I had to keep myself _away_ from her. From her thoughts. But it was _impossible,_ with her powers running through my veins, the powers that had given me life. And connected me to her so _intimately..._  

 

Of course, I couldn't blame it all on the exchange of powers. I loved her. There was no denying it. I desired her and there was no denying it either. 

But I couldn't let my selfishness, my insane _want_ for her ruin her life. 

 

The moment I had met her, I knew she was special. And then I came to know her. Her joys, her sorrows. I saw her rage, her laughter and her tears. And it all made me love her even more. The final straw was when she almost _died_ to save my life. I had never seen such _unconditional_ selflessness before. It stunned me and it bound me to her in a way that I couldn't even find the words to describe...

 

Perhaps Mordo was right, that I was the _wrong_ person to become Sorcerer Supreme. It was wrong on so _many_ levels, that I had fallen in love with Y/N. But I can't help it... Its beyond my control now. My heart seems to have a mind of its own when it comes to her. And it wasn't this way with _anyone_ before her. 

 

Bowing my head, I clutched my hair in frustration, trying to fight the pleasure that _she_ was making me feel, like white hot bursts of lightning. "Oh, what am I going to do?" I mumbled to myself. 

 

_I shouldn't be weak. I shouldn't be tempted. I can control this. I can fight this..._

 

I cried out in frustration, sending a glass orb flying through the air, shattering it against the wall. 

 

My eyes filled up, with tears of anger, tears of _shame,_ tears of helplessness. I couldn't believe that I was actually _crying._  

 

"I love you so much, my darling..." I whispered to the air, hoping that somehow Y/N would hear the desperation in my voice. 

But I knew she couldn't. She was in the arms of her soldiers. 

 

It filled me with uncontrollable jealousy, the thought of her in their arms, being _touched_ and _ravaged_ and _ravished..._  

 

They didn't know the treasure that she was. They didn't _realize_ it. They simply couldn't comprehend it. 

They would never be able to appreciate her like did. Like I _do..._

 

____________ 

 

As the sun rose the next morning, I realized that I _had_ to see her. 

 

I simply _had to see her._  

 

Closing my eyes, damning the consequences, I materialized in her room. And there she was, fast asleep. 

 

_My sweet girl._

 

Her hair was tousled and splayed out over the pillows, the sheets just barely covering her modesty. I walked over to her and knelt down beside her on the floor. Her lips were swollen from their kisses, a patchwork of bruises along her supple, creamy skin... 

I placed my hand on hers, before caressing her face slightly, wishing that it had been _me_ and not them, who had done this to her. 

 

She stirred ever so slightly. 

 

Murmuring an incantation, I coaxed her back to sleep, stroking her hair as she settled down once again. 

 

I moved closer to her, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, before placing a kiss to her cheek. She sighed. 

 

"I _love_ you..." I whispered to her, before vanishing away into thin air. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think?


	133. Part Of Me

Reader's POV

 

"How does _this_ feel?" came Steve's voice in my ear, soft as a kiss as he pulled out of me, almost entirely, before surging back in. 

 

If I _had_ had any energy left in me, I would've _screamed,_ cried out that it felt good, _so_ good, urge him to keep going. But I was reduced to a sweating, trembling mess, completely at the mercy of the banes of my existence. Bucky and Steve...

 

 _"Answer_ him, doll... Answer to your Captain..." Bucky whispered in my ear, his voice like molten silk. 

 

It was so overwhelming, the sensation of being filled up so _entirely._ Taking both of them _at once._  

 

My head rolled back against Bucky's shoulder. "You both...feel _i-incredible..."_ My words turned into a whimper when Steve ran his tongue along my neck. 

 

"Hold her legs open, Buck..." Steve growled, taking my nipple into his mouth, sucking at the already tender flesh. 

 

My back arched against Bucky's chest as he ran his hands along my thighs, spreading them open for Steve. 

 

 _"Please..."_ I moaned, my fingers knotting in Steve's hair as he devoured my breasts. I didn't even know what I was asking for at this point. _Asking them to stop? Or asking them to keep going..._

 

The two of them kept up an unwavering, _unfaltering_ rhythm. One retreating, while the other went in... Then again. And again. And _again..._  

 

Bucky's metal fingers were teasing one breast, Steve's mouth working on the other. Bucky's lips traced a line of kisses along my neck, while Steve's hand gently slipped down between my legs, to the place where we were connected. 

 

He touched that sensitive bundle of nerves, circling it, flicking and rubbing at it with his thumb, making my breath hitch. 

 

"Come on, doll... Come _on..."_ Bucky groaned in my ear. 

 

Their thrusts came quick and deep, their ministrations growing intense, sending me into a state of sensory overload. I couldn't comprehend anything that wasn't _them..._  

 

Steve gasped against my neck, his breath ragged. "Do you have _any_ idea what you've done to us?" he asked, his voice almost inaudible. 

 

_What I've done to them?_

 

_What about what they've done to **me?**  _

 

My orgasm rushed to meet me with such force, that had I been in a more sane state of mind, it would've scared me. 

 

 

I felt a scream leave my lips, my body shaking and trembling and quivering, leaving me an exhausted _mess_ in their arms...

 

They kept going, plunging into me until they found their own release, both of them sinking their teeth into either side of my neck.

 

I went limp in their arms, spent _entirely._  

 

Steve withdrew first, gathering me into his arms and I felt Bucky slip away too. 

 

I could almost never get used to the cold emptiness I felt each time they left me. 

 

Bucky cupped my cheek and turned me to face him, pulling me into a kiss. "Are you hurt?" he asked me. 

 

I shook my head. Turning to Steve, I kissed him. 

"I love you... I love you _both..."_ I whispered. 

 

"I love you too, doll..." Bucky said, placing kisses along my neck. 

 

"I love you... And I'm sorry. For _everything..."_ Steve said, his eyes looking straight into mine. 

 

I shook my head. "You both don't understand. I love you both so much, that I'll keep coming back to you...no matter how much you hurt me.... You've become a part of me now..." 

 

And that was the _truth._  

I loved them.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of this chapter? Lay it on me.


	134. Weapon

Reader's POV 

 

Tony had called a meeting early in the morning. All the Avengers present in the Tower had been asked to assemble in the conference room. Steve, Clint, Natasha, Sam, Wanda, Pietro and I were the first ones to report. 

 

"So, I've _just_ received word from Fury: Grant Ward and Brock Rumlow have escaped from the RAFT Prison," Tony declared, the moment we had all settled down. 

 

I was aghast. 

 

"How could this have happened?" Steve asked, leaning forward in his chair. "I thought that the RAFT was one of the most secure prisons on the planet?" 

 

"There's been reports of a resurgence in the activities of HYDRA, and the escape of these two prisoners from RAFT is an indication of that. We're suspecting some internal involvement..." Tony spoke, consulting his files. 

 

"'Internal involvement?' _Still?"_ Bruce asked. "Is it impossible to weed out these HYDRA operatives infiltrating our organizations?" 

 

"What are they after?" I asked. Everyone turned to look at me. "I mean... If HYDRA organized the escape of these two prisoners, _only_ these two prisoners, they must be after something specific." 

 

"Or _someone_ specific," Sam added, looking meaningfully at Steve. 

 

"Speaking of someone specific, has anyone seen Barnes?" Natasha asked. 

 

I turned to look at Steve. "He went out, didn't he? For a run?" 

 

Steve looked momentarily speechless. "Uh, yeah, he told me he was going out... He told me to join him, but I said no and-" 

 

I whipped out my cell phone, suddenly panicking, fearing the worst. I dialled Bucky's number. 

 

_"The number you're trying to reach is currently out of service..."_

 

I looked up at Steve. "His phone is not working..." I whispered. "The number is out of service." 

 

"Alright, everyone, don't panic", Tony said, grabbing his tablet. "I had added a tracking device to his bionic arm... We should be able to locate his whereabouts..." he murmured, flicking at the screen. 

"FRIDAY, bring up Barnes' location, please?" 

 

"Location unavailable," came FRIDAY'S reply. "The tracker appears to have been switched off..." 

 

A sudden feeling of dread filled me. _This couldn't be happening..._

 

"Do you think they've taken him?" Pietro asked. 

 

"Its _impossible._ Bucky wouldn't have gone without a fight..." I said. 

 

"I agree," Tony added. "Taking Barnes in broad daylight seems like a pretty bold move. I don't think HYDRA is responsible for this." 

 

"If there is even the slightest chance of HYDRA going after Bucky, we have to take it as a certainty," Steve said. We all turned to look at him. "Bucky was HYDRA's most powerful asset." 

 

"Perhaps they didn't need to fight him to take him back..." I murmured, speaking more to myself than to others. "Perhaps they just had to trigger his programming..." I looked at Steve, horrified. 

 

"Okay, everyone, there's no need to panic," Tony said, taking a deep breath. "At this point, it all might just be speculation. But we will begin a search for Barnes nevertheless..." 

 

I had tuned Tony's voice out, lost in my own thoughts. My rational mind was telling me to not jump to conclusions... But the other part of my mind was worried sick. It all made sense. Ward and Rumlow's escape from RAFT, then Bucky's sudden disappearance... 

 

_He had just gone for his usual morning run, goddammit! What could have gone wrong?_

 

I felt Steve's hand on mine. "Y/N, are you alright?" he asked, his eyes worried. 

 

 _"No,_ Steve, I'm not," I said, wrenching my hand from his grip, feeling a sudden anger take over me. HYDRA had caused enough havoc in my life already... If they caused _any_ harm to Bucky... 

 

"Don't worry. He'll be alright... He can defend himself..." Steve said. 

 

"No, he can't! Once his trigger words have been spoken, he becomes entirely _vulnerable!_ I don't know what they're doing to him! Its... We have to _find_ him, Steve. Find him at any cost..." 

 

"We will, Y/N," Steve said. 

 

"We _have_ to," Tony said. "Barnes in the wrong hands... He's the most dangerous and effective weapon they have..." 

 

_Where was he?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where the hell is Bucky?


	135. Trying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader tries to find Bucky

Reader's POV 

 

_Bucky, where are you?_

 

_Where are you? Answer me if you can here me, Bucky... Come **on!**  _

 

I was sitting cross legged on the floor of the shower, letting the warm water run over my bare skin. Soaking through my hair, running down my back, the water's heat relaxing my muscles. 

 

The moment Tony had dismissed the Avengers, I had rushed _straight_ to my room, locking myself in. Pacing through the length of the room restlessly, I tried to figure out what I was going to do. 

 

Using telepathy seemed like the only option I could think of. It was the _only_ way I could get some sort of an idea about Bucky's location. He just had to reply, _goddammit._  

 

I had been locked up in my shower for almost half an hour, trying to call out to Bucky through my mind. It took me all I had, focusing my energy to amplify the range of my telepathic communication. Trying to increase the distance. Trying to reach him... Just for _once..._

 

Angry tears trickled down my cheeks, being washed away instantly with the shower water that was raining down on me. I felt nauseous with anxiety. If HYDRA had indeed taken Bucky, I shuddered to imagine the things they would do to him. 

 

I had read the files, seen the footage. I _knew_ what HYDRA was capable of. I wasn't going to lose Bucky, **_my_** Bucky to them. They wouldn't turn him back into a mindless killing machine... Not on my watch. I was going to find and kill every single HYDRA agent I could find. Starting with Ward and Rumlow...

 

"Y/N? Where are you?" I heard Steve calling out to me. I didn't reply. 

 

_Bucky? Come on, just give me a sign that you can hear me, please?_

 

Steve's brisk footsteps approached and I heard the bathroom door open. "Y/N, are you alright?" 

 

"Yeah..." I sniffled, trying to hide the fact that I had been crying. "I'm fine, Steve, just give me a minute..." 

 

He stood outside quietly. I turned off the water and wrapped myself in a towel before stepping out. 

"Do you have any news?" I asked Steve the moment I got out. 

 

He shook his head. "Nothing as of yet... Have you been crying?" 

 

I lowered my gaze, reaching out to grab another towel to dry my hair, but Steve's hand caught mine. _"Hey,_ you don't need to pretend with me, Y/N. I _know_ you're worried about him. So am I. We'll find him... We'll find him..." 

 

Tears suddenly welled up in my eyes, the hurt coming back all over again. "I don't want to lose him, Steve. He's suffered _enough..._ I don't want him to feel any more pain... I just..." 

 

"I know, Y/N. I _know..."_ Steve said, pulling me into a kiss. "We'll find him," he pressed his forehead against mine. 

 

"I'm gonna get dressed..." I said, pulling away from him. "Then let's go out and have a word with others..." 

 

Steve nodded, going out, leaving me alone in the bathroom. Drying myself, I dressed quickly, pulling my damp hair up into a loose bun. 

 

The moment my hand touched the door, I froze. 

 

_Y/N, can you hear me?_

 

It was Bucky. But his voice was so _weak..._  

 

_Bucky? Where are you? What's wrong? Talk to me..._

 

My heart was beating frantically. 

 

_Stop them, Y/N. They're trying to... They're trying to..._

 

_They're trying to what, Bucky?_

 

There was no response. 

 

_Bucky? Bucky! Stay with me... **Please...**  _

 

But it was too late. He had vanished. 

 

 _"Steve!"_  

 

"Yeah?" he came rushing back. "What is it?" 

 

"I _heard_ him... I heard Bucky. He was trying to communicate..." 

 

"What did he say?"  

 

"He just told me to 'stop them' and that _they_ were trying to do something to him..." I said, trying to explain what I had heard. "He sounded so _weak,_ Steve. And then he vanished. I couldn't hear him anymore... I-" 

 

"Miss Y/N, Captain Rogers," came FRIDAY'S voice. "Mr Stark requests your presence in the conference room. Immediately." 

 

Steve and I looked at each other. 

 

"Tell him we're coming, FRIDAY," he replied. 

 

"Very well, sir." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions?


	136. Trigger

Steve's POV 

 

"Yeah, you two are gonna want to see this," Tony said, turning the screen around to face us. "This is live. They managed to get into our system..." 

 

On the screen was Bucky, strapped down to an electroconvulsive therapy chair. He was struggling, trying to fight, but each time he struggled, they sent a jolt of current rushing through him, making him cry out in pain. 

 

Brock Rumlow's voice echoed from the shadows. 

 

"желание" 

 

Bucky's eyes widened in horror. "No... _Please."_  

 

"ржaвый" 

 

Another jolt of current was sent through Bucky. His body tensed up, every muscle taut as he struggled against his bonds. 

 

"Семнадцать" 

 

"Please _stop!"_ he cried out. 

 

"Рассвет" 

 

"Bucky, no..." I heard Y/N whisper beside me. I looked at her to see her stricken face, tears welling up in her eyes. "Fight it, _please..."_  

 

"Печь" 

 

I felt a stab of pain, watching him writhe and struggle against his own mind. He was trying to fight, I could see it in his eyes. But the programming was still ingrained in him. Seventy years of programming was difficult to fight... 

 

_Come on, Buck. Don't let them do this to you._

 

"Девять" 

Brock Rumlow stepped out of the shadows, looking as menacing as ever, staring at Bucky with an almost gleeful expression. 

 

"добросердечный" 

 

Bucky let out another agonized scream and Y/N covered her mouth with her hand, looking horrified. 

This was disturbing for her, as much as it was for me. I knew how much she loved Bucky, how attached she was to him. I placed my hand on her shoulder. "Steve..." she murmured. 

 

"возвращение на родину" 

 

"Один" 

 

My hands clenched at my sides in anger. I was going to _kill_ those fuckers for doing this to Bucky. 

 

"грузовой вагон" 

 

At the last word, I could see a visible shift in Bucky's demeanor. His shoulders slumped. He had surrendered. My best friend was gone. Just like that. And The Winter Soldier had taken his place. I could see it in his eyes. He was _gone..._  

 

"Добрый день солдат," Rumlow said. 

 

Bucky looked at him, his eyes glazing over. 

"я готов отвечать" 

 

Rumlow looked pleased. "He's all yours," he said to a person who was hidden in the shadows. 

 

"Soldier, I have a mission for you," Grant Ward said, slowly walking out of the corner of the room. He held a photograph in his hand, something that we couldn't see. 

 

He held up the photo in front of Bucky's face. "Its an extraction. You have to bring them to us, by any means possible. If anyone tries to get in your way, you kill them, soldier. _No_ mercy." 

 

Bucky glanced at the photograph, his eyes widening momentarily. He hesitated. "These people..." 

 

"They are your mission, soldier. Is that understood?" Rumlow said, pushing a button that sent another shock through Bucky. He cried out. 

 

"Is that _understood,_ soldier?" he questioned again. 

 

Bucky looked up at him. "Yes, sir."

Immediately, the screen went blank.


	137. I'm Here

Reader's POV 

 

It took Steve barely a second. "Right, he's coming after us," he said, looking at Tony. 

 

"How can you be so su-" 

 

"Because I _know_ him, Stark," Steve interrupted him, his voice authoritative, silencing Tony effectively. "I saw the look in his eyes when they showed him the photograph. It _is_ us." 

 

"What are you going to do then?" Natasha asked. 

 

Steve clenched his jaw. I knew he was tensed about the situation. And angry about the fact that HYDRA had gotten to Bucky, yet _again._ Right under his nose, this time. I could practically _feel_ the self loathing radiating off him. I knew that Steve blamed himself for not being able to be there to protect Bucky. 

 

He turned to address Tony. "We're going to need a quinjet. Y/N and I are leaving." 

 

Tony looked uncertainly at Steve. "Yeah, I'm not sure that this is such a good idea, Cap." 

 

"Didn't you _hear,_ Stark?" Steve snapped. "They're aiming for maximum casualties here. They're sending Bucky to get us and if _anyone_ gets in the way, he's going to kill them. What I'm trying to do here is to take the fight away from you. I will _not_ have any of you get hurt at the hands of the Winter Soldier. _Do you understand?"_  

 

Tony's eyes widened. Steve had never spoken so harshly to him before. 

"Alright. Okay, then... I'll have a plane ready for you two," he said. "With the best stealth tech, of course." 

 

"Good," Steve said, grabbing my hand firmly. "We're leaving in an hour." 

 

He almost dragged me along with him, straight to his room. I followed wordlessly. 

 

The moment we were in, he locked the door and pinned me against the wall. His lips came crashing down on mine in a bruising kiss. 

 

"Its my fault..." he mumbled when he pulled away from me, his face crumpling. "Its all my fault..." 

 

I cupped his face in my hands forcing him to look at me. "Look at me, Steve," I whispered. He did. "Its _not_ your fault. Stop blaming yourself. None of us could have predicted this." 

 

"He's coming, for us. I know it. I don't want to lose you... Not _again..."_ he said, his voice shaking, his eyes glistening. "You remember what happened when HYDRA came after you the last time? I can't lose you again. I just got you bac-" 

 

I pressed my lips to his, kissing him fiercely. I could sense an undercurrent of anger inside him. Pulling away from my lips, he kissed his way down my neck. Grasping my shirt, he tore it clean in half, tossing the scraps of fabric aside, making his intentions clear. 

 

We quickly helped rid each other of our clothes and I pushed him onto the couch, climbing into his lap. Straddling him, without wasting time, I sank down on him, feeling a _searing_ burn at the intrusion. But the pain felt _good._ And we needed this, this physical connection. 

 

He lowered his head to my breast, taking a nipple into his mouth, nipping at it. _"Stevie..."_ I moaned, my fingers threading into his hair, pulling him to me. 

His arms tightened around me in a silent reply. 

 

I moved quickly, _roughly,_ feeling my muscles cry out in protest. But I didn't care. I wanted to feel good. I wanted to make _him_ feel good. 

 

Steve nipped and sucked and bit my nipples into hardened, tender peaks, his lips leaving angry bruises along my neck and chest. 

 

When my movements became erratic, he switched positions, laying me down on the couch and crawling on top of me. Placing one foot on the floor, and hooking the other leg over his shoulder, he plunged into me. Completely. 

 

I cried out his name, feeling the _pain_ and the _pleasure,_ the _anger_ and the _lust,_ the _helplessness_ and the _love_ become one. He thrust into me, setting a punishing, bruising pace, his skin smacking against mine as he hit home. 

 

He buried his face into my neck, his free hand slipping into my hair, gripping at the roots as he drove into me for all he was worth. 

 

"I can't lose you... I _can't_ lose you..." he breathed into my skin, over and over, in a strained voice. 

 

"Y-You won't... I'm here... I'm _here..."_   

 

My orgasm hit me in a burst of white hot light, the pleasure almost _unbearable._ Steve arched against me moments after, groaning loudly as he spilled his seed into me. 

 

"I love you..." he whispered before kissing me. "I love you, Y/N." 

 

"I know, Steve. I love you too... And I'm not going _anywhere,_ you hear?" 

 

He nodded. 

 

I cupped his cheek. "We're going to find him, okay? Everything will be alright." 

 

He turned and kissed the palm of my hand. "Let's go, sweetheart." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on this chapter?


	138. Mind

Reader's POV 

 

I watched as Steve fiddled with his shield. I could tell that he was nervous, anxious even. 

 

Currently, we were holed up in a safehouse, somewhere in Siberia. And a blizzard was raging outside. 

 

I was huddled up in a corner on the couch, my legs pulled up, arms wrapped around them. "Are you alright?" Steve asked me, worried. I knew that this cold did not affect him much, what with his serum induced super metabolism. I however, could still feel the cold. 

 

"Yeah, yeah..." I nodded, clenching my jaw to prevent my teeth from chattering. "Just, uh, turn up the heating, Steve." 

 

"Sure," he said, getting up. 

 

"Steve?" I asked. 

 

"Yeah?" he turned around. 

 

"What's going to be our strategy? I mean...when Bucky comes, what's the plan?" I asked. 

 

He fell silent, lost in thought for a moment. "I'll fight him, hand to hand, there's no question about it-" 

 

"I'll fight with you..." 

 

"No, you _won't,_ Y/N," he said, an edge in his voice. 

 

I opened my mouth to protest, but he held up his hand to stop me. 

 

"Its _my_ job to fight him, Y/N. You stay on the sidelines. Get into his mind. Try to turn off his programming, bring out his memories. Maybe it'll help..." 

 

"But I can't let you fight him alone, what if he hurts you?" I asked. 

 

He clasped my hand in his. "I'll be the one to fight him, Y/N. That's final. If something happens, if I'm hurt, if he overpowers me, you go to the quinjet and escape." 

 

"No I _won't..."_  

 

"Yes you will," he said, looking directly into my eyes. "If I fall, you run, go back to the Tower. Don't wait for me. I won't have HYDRA take you again. I can't let that happen..." 

 

"But Stev-" 

 

He silenced me with a kiss. "You _will_ get out of here..." he whispered against my lips. 

 

"No. Not without you." 

 

"Y/N, please..." 

 

"No, Steve, I'm _staying._ I'm not leaving you." 

 

He looked at me for a moment, before smirking. "You and Bucky, always so stubborn." 

 

I chuckled. 

 

"Steve, we'll fight him together. And we'll bring _our_ Bucky back home, okay?" 

 

"Okay..." 

 

Almost as if on cue, we heard the front door break with a loud sound. Steve grabbed his shield, looking at me. 

 

"He's here..." I said. I could sense his arrival in my mind. 

 

"Stay behind me," Steve said, leading the way, shield aloft. 

 

We slowly made our way out of the room, to the living room area.... 

 

Shots suddenly rang out. Steve held up his shield, covering me and himself. The sounds of bullets rebounding off the vibranium filled the room. 

 

From the corner of my eye, I saw that it was indeed the Winter Soldier, who was shooting at us. 

 

Standing behind Steve, I sent a blast of energy, knocking Bucky off his feet, sending him crashing into the wall. 

 

Steve looked at me, stunned. I shrugged. 

 

"Go..." I whispered to him. He nodded. 

 

Bucky rose to his feet and launched himself at Steve, lashing out angrily. 

 

"Bucky, stop it! Its _us!"_ I called out. 

 

He ignored me, grabbing Steve by the throat using his bionic hand and slamming him into the wall. I watched, horrified as he kicked and punched Steve furiously.

 

Steve was bleeding and bruised. I sent another wave of energy at Bucky, but he managed to dodge it. Angrily, he let go of Steve, turning his attention to me. 

 

"Bucky, _don't..."_ he grabbed me by the throat and threw me forcefully across the room. I landed on the floor, groaning. 

 

He lunged at me, but I created a force field around myself, sending a blast of energy at him, which caught him, thankfully, sending him into the wall. He slumped down, monetarily subdued. Steve took advantage of this and caught him in a headlock. 

 

Bucky struggled against Steve, but he couldn't overpower him. "Get inside his head, Y/N," Steve said, nodding to me. 

 

I crouched down in front of Bucky. He had a feral look in his eyes as he fought against Steve. "Bucky, look at me..." I said, placing my hands on either side of his face. He stared at me, his eyes wild. 

 

 _"Do_ it, Y/N," Steve whispered. 

 

I nodded. 

 

Closing my eyes, I went inside Bucky's mind. I heard him gasp. Searching through his endless memories of torture and pain, almost like it was an archive, I reached the part of his mind where his joyful memories had been hidden away due to his programming. 

 

_His childhood with Steve... Enlisting in the army... Going on double dates with Steve... The two of them playing together in the school yard... The moment he met me... Our time together... The three of us... Happy... Together..._

 

I pulled away from him. His expression had changed. He looked so vulnerable. Unsure. Confused. 

 

"Do you remember us, James?" I asked him quietly. 

 

"You're.... You're Y/N..." he said, hesitantly. 

 

I nodded, smiling. 

 

"Do you know who I am, Buck?" Steve asked, releasing Bucky from the headlock. 

 

Bucky turned around to look at him. "You're Steve..." he said, almost smiling. 

 

"You did it, Y/N," Steve said. 

 

I placed my hands on Bucky's head. "Go to sleep..." I said, using my powers to send him to sleep, the way Stephen had done to me a few tines before... He slumped over, snoring lightly. Steve lay him down on the floor. 

 

Looking up at me, he smiled. "You did good." 

 

"Let's get him home..." I said. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hopeless at writing fight scenes. Thoughts on this chapter?


	139. Coffee

Reader's POV 

 

We were back at the Tower. We had brought Bucky to the hospital wing, still asleep. Steve and I hadn't left his side since then. 

 

"I could _really_ use a shower..." I sighed, leaning back in my armchair, looking at Bucky, who looked so peaceful in his slumber. 

I ran a hand over my face. I was tired, no question. 

 

_Y/N, are you there?_

 

It was Stephen. I almost jumped a foot in the air at the sound of his voice in my head. Steve glanced at me. "Is something wrong, Y/N?" 

 

"No, no..." I said, shaking my head. Steve turned his gaze to Bucky. 

 

_Yeah, I'm here, Stephen. What is it?_

 

_I, uh, I just wanted to tell you that I won't be able to train you anymore._

 

I was shocked. This came out of nowhere. 

 

_Why? Is something wrong? What happened? What did I do?_

 

There was a long moment of silence. 

 

 _You didn't do anything, darling. Its just that, I need some time to myself.._ He said and I could tell that he was lying.

 

_Stephen, what are you hiding from me?_

 

_Nothing, nothing, darling. I have a few matters I need to address._

 

I stayed silent, thoroughly unconvinced. This was so unlike Stephen. He had always been there for me, always willing to help me. What had changed so suddenly? But I also knew that there was no use arguing with him. Once he set his mind to something, there was no talking him out of it. 

 

 _Okay, Stephen. You go. I'll take care of myself._ _Thank you so much for helping me out..._ I said, unsure of what else to say to him. 

 

_You're welcome, darling. Goodbye._

 

I felt him slip out of my mind. 

 

Steve noticed the frown on my face. "Y/N, what's going on?" 

 

I looked at him. "Uh, Stephen said he won't be able to train me anymore..." 

 

"Huh."

 

Steve looked unaffected. "You're already doing so well, Y/N. I don't think you'll need his help anymore." 

 

"Hmmm..." I said, shrugging. "It was nice to have a...a mentor." 

 

"You train with Wanda, alright?" Steve said. "You both work really well together... And honestly, I think you're better off without that man." 

 

I frowned, but didn't say anything. I knew that Steve and Stephen had never gotten along. And I didn't want to press that topic anymore. Especially with people like Grant Ward and Brock Rumlow on the run. We already had enough on our plates...

 

"Any news about Rumlow and Ward?" I asked. 

 

Steve shook his head. "Nothing yet. They're air." 

 

Just then, there was a knock on the door. 

"Come in," Steve called out. 

 

The door swung open to reveal Sharon. She was wearing a navy blue dress, black heels, her golden hair falling loose around her shoulders. And she had a bouquet in her hand. 

 

 _Jeez._  

 

 _"Hi, Steve!"_ she said, smiling brightly at him, ignoring me entirely. "I'm so sorry to hear about Bucky. How is he?" 

 

"He's fine Sharon," Steve said, standing up to greet her. "How are you doing?" 

 

"Oh, I'm good, I'm good," she said, handing the flowers to Steve. "I got these for Bucky." 

 

"You shouldn't have," Steve said, always the gentleman. "Thank you, Sharon." 

 

 _Ugh._ This exchange was making me nauseous. 

 

I pushed my glasses up my nose and stood up. "I'm going to take a shower..." I mumbled, excusing myself and walking out before Steve could say anything. 

 

I went straight to the lab, hoping to find Tony. And there he was, just as I had predicted. 

 

"Hey, Tony!" I hugged him. 

 

"Hey, kid! So good to see you back in here!" 

 

I grinned. His presence _always_ cheered me up. 

 

"Do you need some help? I could really use something to occupy my mind..." I said, glancing at the screens at the project he had been working on. 

 

"Oh, yeah. I'm re-wiring a few of the suits, making them more energy efficient, you wanna help?" he asked. 

 

"Yeah, sure!" I said. "Shall I get you some coffee first?" 

 

Tony grinned. "You _always_ know exactly what I need, Y/N." 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stephen has quit training the reader... Or has he? 
> 
> Who's glad to see him go? Who wants him back? Comment away! Xx


	140. Shower

Reader's POV 

 

I sighed deeply, feeling the warm water rain down on me with the force of a waterfall. The steady, almost rhythmic beating of the hot water down my back helped my sore muscles relax. 

 

After bringing Bucky back, sleep had evaded me entirely and I hadn't even managed to find the time for a shower in these past twelve plus hours. So, yeah, to say that it felt great, having the warm water rinse away all the dirt and grime, was definitely an understatement. 

 

Also, I wanted to get away from Sharon and Steve. Don't get me wrong, I was _completely_ secure about Steve's fidelity... Its just that, I couldn't help the sadness that would come over me, when I would see them talk about _their_ baby. I didn't want to complicate things for Steve. And I didn't want my despair to eclipse their obvious joy. 

 

Grabbing the shampoo, I lathered it up, running my fingers through my hair. Occupying my mind with the task at hand (cleaning myself) seemed a better option than imagining Steve and Sharon discuss baby names... The thing is, those are the very things I had imagine _myself_ to be doing with him. 

 

_Discussing baby names... Finding godparents... Planning the baby shower... Choosing the hospital where I would give birth... Choosing the method of giving birth... Seeing my baby's face for the first time..._

 

Sudden tears sprung into my eyes, immediately washed away by the shower. Thank God. 

 

_Get a grip on yourself, Y/N._

 

Placing my hands on the tiled wall of the shower, I bowed my head, letting the warm water beat down my back, soothing the aching muscles. 

 

I felt an arm around my waist. 

 

"Hey..." I heard Steve's voice in my ear. He pressed his bare chest against my back. "Are you alright?" he asked, placing kisses to my shoulder. 

 

I nodded, turning around to face him. He had grown a scruff, I noticed. "You need to shave..." I said, stroking his cheek. 

 

He frowned slightly. "I thought you liked it when I _didn't_ shave?" 

 

"I didn't mean tha-" 

 

He silenced me with a kiss, his hand winding into my wet hair, pulling me in, his tongue slipping past my lips...

 

"I don't need to read minds to know what you're thinking," he said, pressing his forehead to mine, his blue eyes staring right into my soul. "I love _you._ No one can come between that. _No one..."_  

 

"But seeing you with Sharon-" 

 

 _"Shhh._ I know," he pulled me closer. 

 

"I'm _yours..._ You understand? _Yours,_ Y/N," he said, his crystal blue eyes boring into mine with a wild intensity. 

 

I nodded before leaning up to kiss him. 

 

"I love you, Steve..." I moaned as he moved to kiss down my neck furiously. It was obvious that he was as stressed as I was. About Bucky. About the baby. About HYDRA. About us...

 

"I _can't_ be gentle..." he said, his hand slipping down between my legs, fingers slipping into me. He pumped his fingers roughly, making me gasp, my hips bucking into his hand. "I _need_ you..." 

 

He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his hips. "Don't hold back. I can take it..." I breathed, kissing along his neck. 

 

He plunged into me entirely, drawing out a cry from my lips, my nails digging into his shoulders. He pressed me against the hard, cold wall, burying his face into my neck, setting a rough rhythm right from the start, drawing out a breathless moan of pleasure and _relief_ as he plunged into me each time.

 

His aggression didn't bother me one bit. Sure, there was that initial pain, which slipped away to be replaced by pure pleasure. I held onto him, letting him take me as he liked... I wanted him to _possess_ me. 

 

His name fell from my lips like a breathless prayer, his groans and my moans drowned almost entirely by the sound of the steaming water raining down on us. 

 

"I'm close..." he gasped against my neck. 

 

"Come with me..." I moaned. "I need you, _Steve..."_  

 

Grasping his hair by the roots, I pulled him to me for a kiss, biting down on his bottom lip. 

 

That did it. 

 

He spilled into me with a snarl, still thrusting until I found my own release. 

 

Still holding me close, he sank to his knees on to the shower floor, reaching up to turn off the water. 

 

"I'm _yours. Remember_  that, sweetheart..." he said, before pulling me into a kiss. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment away, my lovelies!


	141. Lonely

Stephen's POV 

 

 _Y/N_. 

 

I couldn't get her out of my head. Try as I might, she was dominating my thoughts. 

 

Even when I couldn't hear her, I found myself thinking about her. 

 

"Stephen, you have to do something about her..." The Ancient One spoke, her voice as quiet and serene as ever. "You cannot let her distract you like this." 

 

I nodded, running a hand over my face. I was _exhausted._ Defending the dimensions from demons and malevolent forces, along with my growing feelings for Y/N had left me drained. 

I hadn't slept in a while. 

 

"You look tired, Stephen." 

 

I looked at The Ancient One. "I _am_ tired." 

 

"Go get some rest, you deserve it." 

 

I shook my head. "There's no use." 

 

"But you can't keep going on like this. You haven't slept, you haven't eaten. How can you expect to perform at your optimum potential when you're constantly weakening yourself like this? The mystic world, the balance of the dimensions, _you_ are responsible for them. You cannot let your feelings affect your duty." 

 

"I _know,_ Ancient One. I know exactly what you mean... I have even isolated her thoughts to a corner of my mind. I can still feel her, yes, but I have built psychic barriers in my mind... They keep her away," I said. 

 

"And how has that been working out?" 

 

"Its working, to an extent," I sighed. "The sharing of powers is not the main concern here... Its just that..." 

 

"...you love her," The Ancient One smiled. 

 

I nodded. 

 

She leaned back. "I had seen this coming, Stephen. I had seen her coming into your life..." 

 

"And you didn't _tell_ me?" I asked, incredulous. 

 

She shook her head. "Some things are not meant to be told. And you were hurt...after Clea. I had seen Y/N coming into your life. I had seen you becoming attached to her." 

 

"And?" 

 

"She will become your equal, Stephen. One day, she will possess a strength that will rival yours, perhaps even _surpass_ yours. But whether she remains in your life or not, that choice depends on you." 

 

I chuckled. "This does _nothing_ to resolve the confusion in my mind, Ancient One." 

 

She smiled. "I know. But free will is something I cannot oversee." 

 

There was a long moment of silence. 

 

"Stephen, if you don't mind, can I ask you something?" 

 

"Of course..." 

 

"You didn't hesitate so much when Clea came along... What's stopping you this time?" 

 

"She loves her soldiers, Ancient One. I will not complicate her life for my own selfish desire. I _refuse_ to do that." 

 

"And you will continue to suffer? In silence? You deserve happiness, Stephen. You have been lonely for _far_ too long..." 

I felt a tear run down my cheek. Wiping it away hastily, I took a deep, steadying breath. 

"I love her. And I will always watch over her. That's all."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stephen is still around, peeps!


	142. Just Once

Stephen's POV 

 

I teleported myself to the Sanctum, hoping to get some sleep for once. 

All the rooms were dark. And quiet. 

 

Sighing, I reached out and switched on the lights. "You came back..." Y/N's voice came, loud and clear, startling me. 

 

I turned around and there she was, sitting cross legged in one of the armchairs I kept by the windows. 

 

"Y/N! What a surprise!" I was delighted, and worried at the same time, to see her. 

 

I opened my arms to her, smiling. 

 

She didn't make a move forward, just sat there with her arms folded. 

 

"You don't want to train with me? Why is that?" she asked, getting right down to business. 

 

I sighed, turning away from her. "I've told you, Y/N, I have some matters to attend to... I won't be able to train with you-" 

 

"That's not a good enough explanation for me, Stephen. Everything was going well! What happened? Did I do something? Why are you icing me out like that? You're avoiding me..." she said. 

 

I bowed my head. 

 

"Can you at least do the courtesy of looking at me when I'm talking to yo-" 

 

"You need to leave. _Now,"_ I said, coldly. 

 

She looked stunned by my tone. Then almost as quickly, she recovered. "No, I'm _not_ leaving without an answer," she said stubbornly. 

 

"I don't owe you any answe-" 

 

 _"Yes you do!_ Yes you do, Stephen," she said, angrily. "I need your help..." 

 

"You're doing very well on your own, Y/N... I saw how you dealt with the Winter Soldier. That was _very_ well tackled," I said, trying to mollify her. It didn't work, obviously. 

 

She stood up, her eyes narrowing with suspicion. And then before I could stop her, she had reached me, placing her hands on either side of my face. 

 

I gasped in shock, feeling her _forcefully_ penetrate my mind. My thoughts. Breaking through _all_ the barriers I had built. 

 

She was already _in_ before I could summon up the strength to stop her. She saw _everything_ that I had been keeping bottled up inside me...

 

I was surprised at the sheer amount of strength she was exerting, the _power_ she was using to skim through my mind. It was something I hadn't expected from her. And at the same time, I was horrified that she could see my deepest secrets. I was afraid of her reaction... 

 

With a gasp, she pulled out of my mind. Her eyes were wide with shock, yet I could see her rational side trying to calculate, to process the truth of what she had seen. 

 

"You... You _love_ me?" she asked, her hands still cradling my face, her eyes searching mine. 

 

I stayed silent for a moment. There was no use lying to her anymore. "Y-Yes..." 

 

She pressed her forehead against mine. _"Why_ are you doing this?" she asked, her voice trembling. _"Please_   _don't_   _do this."_  

 

"I can't help it..." I replied, looking straight into her eyes. "I just can't..."  

 

"You have a wife-" 

 

"We've separated..." 

 

"I love Bucky and Steve..." 

 

"I know that. But I love you, darling. Its not a lie..." 

 

"I _know_ that, Stephen. But I can't do this... Its too complicated..." 

 

I sighed, taking her hand and placing a kiss to her palm. "I know that, darling. I'm not forcing you into anything. But I can't help my feelings for you..." 

 

She pulled away. "I don't know what to do." 

 

"You don't have to do anything, Y/N. I've made my choice to love you. And that won't change. Whether you choose to reciprocate those feelings is entirely up to you..." 

 

"That's why you were staying away from me," she said, realization in her eyes. I nodded. 

 

"Its okay, darling. You don't have to do anything. I don't expect anything from you... Just know that I _love_ you. And I will _always_ be here for you..." I said, taking her hand in mine. 

 

"I-I have to go..." she said, pulling her hand away. 

 

I nodded. "I understand." 

 

"I'm sorry..." she said, turning away. 

 

Watching her turn to leave, I felt something come over me. I grasped her hand, turning her around to face me.

Raising my hand, I tentatively tucked a strand of stray hair behind her ear. She went stiff at my touch.

 

"Stephen..." she whispered, lowering her gaze. 

 

I cupped her cheek, running my thumb along her bottom lip slowly. "Allow me this..." I leaned in closer. 

 

She didn't make a move to stop me, her eyes simply gazing into mine. 

 

"Just once..." I whispered, before pressing my lips to hers. 

 

Her lips felt soft and pliant against mine. I could kiss her forever... It had _never_ been with Clea like this. 

 

All too soon, I pulled away from her. "I love you..." I whispered. 

 

"I have to go..." she said. 

 

I released her, and watched her go with a sinking feeling in my heart. 

 

_God, I loved her._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeahhhhhh... I did it lolz


	143. Tired

Reader's POV 

 

I couldn't stop the tears running down my cheeks. 

 

"Are you alright, miss?" the elderly cab driver asked me, looking at me through the rear view mirror. 

 

I hastily wiped away at my cheeks. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine... Could you hurry up, please? I need to get to the Tower." 

 

Directing my gaze to the passing roads, I tried to control the torrent of emotions that threatened to overwhelm me. My lips were _still_ tingling from Stephen's kiss. It wasn't that I hadn't seen this coming... And I would be lying to myself if I said that I hadn't been attracted to him, on some level at least. 

 

The level of intimacy I had with him scared me. He knew every corner of my mind, my deepest thoughts, my darkest secrets, the ones I had kept hidden from even myself. Just like I knew everything about him. _Everything._  

 

And I knew that he wasn't lying. He loved me. I knew it. It was the _absolute_ truth. Not a hint of lie. Not even the slightest measure of selfishness. 

 

 _He's telling you the truth, Y/N_ , I told myself. 

 

_But you can't do this. You can't voluntarily ruin things with Steve and Bucky, especially when they're just starting to look up..._

_But a love like **this** is so rare. _

_I can't afford to think like this. I cannot let a moment of weakness ruin what I have..._

A fresh bout of tears filled up my eyes, blurring my vision as I pulled out my cellphone, speed dialing Steve. I _had_ to talk to him. 

 

The call went to voicemail. 

 

Disconnecting, I called Wanda. She picked up on the third ring. 

 

"Hi, Y/N!" she said, cheerfully. 

 

"Hey, Wanda. Do you know where Steve is? I wanted to talk to him..." I said, trying to keep my voice steady, to prevent her from noticing the fact that I had been crying. 

 

"Actually, Steve has gone out shopping... Uh, _baby shopping_ with Sharon," she said, hesitantly. 

 

"Oh. _Oh._ Anyway, thanks, Wanda. I'll talk to you lat-" 

 

"Y/N. Is everything okay?" she asked me. 

 

"Yeah, yeah, everything is okay, Wanda. Bye," I said, hanging up quickly. 

 

Shoving my phone back into my pocket, I looked outside the window. We were nearing the Tower. 

 

"Here we are, miss..." the driver said, pulling up. I gave him the money for the fare, asking him to keep the change. 

 

Walking into the Tower, the first person I ran into was Maria. 

 

"Hey, Maria, any news about Bucky?" 

 

"He's still asleep, Y/N," she said, smiling at me, which quickly turned into a frown. "You look unwell, is everything alright with you?" 

 

"Yeah, _yeah,_ I'm okay..." I said, feeling a sudden wave of drowsiness weigh down my eyelids. I stifled a yawn. 

 

"I think I'll get some sleep..." I said, taking her leave. 

 

Getting into the first elevator I could find, I went straight up to my floor, feeling utterly exhausted. 

 

I wasted no time in taking off my clothes and changing into something more comfortable. Yawning widely, I set an alarm for an hour later, setting the ringing volume on high before climbing into bed. 

 

Pulling up the covers, with the intention of taking a nap, I closed my eyes. 

 

_I need a nap._

 

_Heck, I deserve some sleep._

 

_Its overdue._

 

_I'll visit Bucky as soon as I wake up..._

 

_I'm so tired._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm... Reader is sleepy...  
> Why??????


	144. Real

Reader's POV

 

I woke up to the feeling of warm, open mouthed kisses being pressed along my neck. And cool, metal fingers slipping lazily into my folds. 

 

"Mmm... _Bucky..."_  

 

My movements made me realize that I was naked. He had discarded my camisole and shorts while I had been asleep. That _sneaky_ little bastard. 

 

I opened my eyes and there he was, a wicked smile on his lips. 

 

"You're awake..." I breathed, stroking his stubbled cheek. 

 

"So are you..." he said. 

 

He slipped two fingers into me, making me gasp. I could never get over the cold smoothness of his bionic fingers. And how _incredible_ they felt inside me...

 

"I was...going to visit you..." I moaned. He curled his fingers, humming quietly. 

 

Pressing the heel of his hand against my mound, he stroked my clit, fingers curling against that spot inside me that made me see stars. 

 

"Bucky!" 

 

And just like that, he pulled his hand away. A flash of guilt appeared on his face. "I _hurt_ you..." he whispered. "Didn't I? Back there?" 

 

I sat up. Cradling his face, I kissed him. He was a little rigid at first, but he eventually began to respond. 

 

His flesh hand slipped into my hair, just as his tongue slipped into my mouth. I moaned into his mouth, his kiss swallowing it. My hands clutched at the front of his shirt as we kissed, each _craving_ the other's touch. 

 

When I drew away for air, I saw that his lips were swollen. 

 

"You didn't hurt me, James. I'm fine. I'm _alive._ I'm _here..."_  

 

He looked pained. "I could've _broken_ you, doll," he said, his thumb running across my bottom lip. 

 

I shook my head. 

 

"Just let go of the guilt, Bucky. Everything is alright now," I assured him. 

 

He looked at me, his blue eyes suddenly vulnerable. Like a lost child. 

 

"I _need_ you..." he whispered, pleading. 

 

"I'm here, Bucky. I'm _yours."_  

 

He stood, undressing himself quickly. 

 

I knew exactly what he needed. He was _afraid. Scared. Confused. Guilty._ He wanted me, my touch to placate him. To pacify him. The way I had done so many times before...

 

He placed his hands on my waist, laying me out on the bed. 

 

I opened my legs to him, a silent invitation. He settled between them, on his knees. 

 

And then without warning, he surged into me. I cried out, my back arching off the bed, that delicious pain tearing through me. I knew him too well to know that he wasn't going to be gentle. Atleast not this time. 

 

Steve could be rough, at times. But Bucky's aggression was something else _entirely._ A hurricane. 

 

His thrusts came hard and punishing, a loud groan slipping past his lips with each one. He was _angry._ He was _frustrated._  

 

He covered my body with his, asserting his dominance. He sucked and nipped at my neck, his mouth turning my nipples into sore, tender peaks. The pain and the pleasure laced together, it made my toes curl. 

 

My nails dug into his shoulders, his arms, egging him on. He reached under me, grasping my bottom, his fingers digging into my flesh as he pulled me into his thrusts. Like he _owned_ me. 

 

"They told me you weren't real..." he whispered brokenly against my neck, hips snapping harshly into mine. 

 

It wrenched my heart, seeing him like this. And the pleasure he was giving me was searing through my veins. A wild fire. 

 

I grabbed his hair and pulled him into a kiss, tongues fighting, teeth gnashing. 

 

"I'm real, Bucky. I'm _real..."_ I moaned against his lips. 

 

He snarled, placing frantic kisses to my neck, down to my breasts. 

 

 _"Mine..."_ he growled between each kiss. "Mine, mine, mine..." 

 

"I'm yours, _my soldier..."_ I moaned, closing my eyes and surrendering to him. 

 

 _Completely._  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? 
> 
> Also, I have a new Pseud.


	145. Playful

Bucky's POV 

 

God, she was so _beautiful._  

 

I could never get tired of seeing her like this. Swollen lips, all red and bitten from my kisses. Her long hair tousled, spilling out around her. Her eyes glazed with lust, pupils dilated as she looked at me. Her smooth, creamy skin covered with marks _I_ had left behind...

 

"What are you staring at?" she asked, a slight smile playing on her lips. 

 

"Nothing, doll," I said, burying my face into her neck. _Fuck,_ even her neck was perfect. Long and delicate, and she loved it when I wrapped my fingers around it while taking her. 

 

"You have a _choking_ kink?" I had asked her. And how furiously she had blushed, throwing a pillow at me shrieking, "Don't put a _name_ on it!" 

 

Closing my lips around that spot, where her neck curved into her shoulder, I gave it a playful graze with my teeth. _"Bucky..."_ she moaned. I chuckled. 

 

"You're getting predictable, baby..." I teased, my metal hand slipping down her body, creeping between her legs. I slipped a finger into her easily. 

 

"Really? _Again?"_ she asked, although it sounded more like a moan when I curled my finger inside her. 

 

"Mmhmm..." I replied, slowly kissing my way down her neck, my lips finding her breast. 

Instinctively, she arched her back, her fingers threading into my hair. I fought another chuckle, kissing down her abdomen, going lower until I reached my destination...

 

 _"James..."_  

 

My tongue delved into her swollen folds, tasting her. I knew she was already sensitive, thanks to our previous sessions. Yep, _plural._  

 

I found her swollen, throbbing bundle of nerves with ease, pressing my tongue flat against it. Her head tipped back and she arched into me. 

 

Just as I was about to begin my final assault, her phone rang. I groaned loudly, irritated at that infernal device, wanting nothing more than to crush it into splinters with my metal hand. 

 

But then, I had a better idea... 

 

"Answer it..." I said. 

 

Her head shot up. An incredulous look on her face. _"Bucky?"_  

 

I grinned at her as the phone kept ringing. _"Answer it,_ doll," I told her, placing teasing kisses along her inner thigh. "Or I'll stop." 

 

She groaned in frustration, her hand reaching out blindly for the phone. She glanced at the screen. "Its Steve." 

 

"Oho! Now _definitely_ answer it..." I chuckled. 

 

She gave me a look, before taking the call. "Hello, _Steeeeeeve..."_  

 

I went down to work, my tongue slipping back into her, turning her greeting into a moan. God, I wish I could see Stevie's little punk-face right now. 

 

"No, I'm not busy...its just tha- shit, _Bucky!"_  

 

I chuckled. 

 

"Okay. Okay, I'll see you in... Oh, _god._ Twenty minutes? Oh, okay," she gasped breathlessly into the phone, before hanging up. 

 

I lifted my head up from between her legs, just as she tossed a pillow at me. Which I dodged. 

 

" _What the fuck, Bucky?_ " she asked. 

 

I burst out laughing. "I'm sure he's gonna wrap up baby shopping and be here in _five_ minutes, doll." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky my baby *_*
> 
> I've tried to show a different side of their relationship here. Thoughts?


	146. Her Children

Stephen's POV

 

I had heard them. Their quiet cries for help. 

 

Plaintive. _Helpless._ Heart-rending cries. 

 

_Help. Please, help..._

 

Jamie and Stephanie, Y/N had named them. Two innocent souls, just as beautiful and pure as their mother. 

 

And they were in danger. A demon who had declared itself the 'Devourer of Souls' was after them. Somehow it had managed to find them, and now it was terrorizing them. 

 

I could sense their presence growing weaker with each passing moment, as the demon drew its power from them. For a moment, I thought about contacting Y/N. Surely she must've heard her girls. And if not, she needed to know that they were in trouble. 

 

But since I hadn't felt any sort of knowledge of this in Y/N's mind, I assumed that she had no idea. Perhaps I could sense the girls more _acutely,_ due to my powers? I didn't know. But what I did know, was that I was going to intervene, to banish the demon. 

 

"Strange, you're going to fight a demon to defend two souls who shouldn't have stayed behind in the first place?" Mordo asked me, brow raised skeptically. 

 

 _"Yes,_ Mordo," I sighed, running a hand over my face. 

 

"Have you lost your mind? Those souls should have returned to their source long ago! Its against the laws of nature, their existenc-" 

 

"Be _quiet,"_ I warned him. 

 

"The existence of these souls, free to roam like this, even after their deaths, it is an abomination," he said. "An _abomination,_ you hear me?" 

 

"These girls... They are not an abomination. _Far_ from it. They're two helpless, innocent souls who need my help. And I _will_ help them. For the love I bear their mother, I will help them," I said, determinedly. 

 

Mordo looked at the Ancient One. "You cannot allow this, surely?" 

 

She ignored him, looking at me. "Help them, Stephen. If you think it is right," she smiled. "Then go and save them." 

 

* * *

 

The demon had found its way into Y/N's garden, turning the lush trees and flowery bushes into a barren wasteland. 

 

I found him, cornering Jamie and Stephanie, a menacing grin on its abhorrent visage. 

 

The girls sensed my presence, their flickering auras glowing brighter when they saw me approach. _"Uncle Stephen!"_ they cried out, delighted. 

 

I felt a tug at my heart, hearing them address me as 'uncle'. It felt nice. 

 

"Well," the demon's laughter rumbled. "If it isn't the Sorcerer Supreme himself!" 

 

It turned to face me. 

 

"Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" I challenged it, bracing myself for the fight. 

 

* * *

 

"Really, Strange," Wong said, dabbing an ointment on the burn wounds on my chest and arms. "You should have been more careful." 

 

The demon had been far stronger than I expected. But in the end, I had managed to banish it. I bid farewell to the girls, but not before placing protective incantations and spells on them. _They had to be kept safe._

 

"Its not so bad," I said, biting down on a wince as he applied the healing salve on the most painful burn. "I've dealt with worse before..." 

 

"This girl must be very dear to you," he said. 

 

"She _is,_ Wong. She is," I told him, a slight smile finding its way to my lips, just at the thought of Y/N. 

 

The door to the infirmary opened and the Ancient One walked in. 

 

"I must congratulate you," she said, gesturing to Wong to continue tending to my injuries. 

 

"Thank you," I told her, bowing my head. 

 

"Does the girl know? About this?" she asked me. 

 

I shook my head. "No. And she'll _never_ know. I asked the girls to keep this a secret. I don't want Y/N to worry unnecessarily, the demon has been dealt with and the girls are under my protection." 

 

"And who better to protect them than the Sorcerer Supreme?" she mused. "But tell me this... How hasn't the girl sensed what you did? Your mind is linked to hers, isn't it?" she asked. 

 

"I've created psychic barriers, Ancient One. She won't be able to know what I don't want her to know." 

 

"And you will keep this fact hidden from her? That you risked _your life_ to protect her children?" The Ancient One asked, her brows rising. "You will never reveal the best of yourself to her?" 

 

I shrugged. "I don't want her to worry. She already has enough to worry about, Ancient One." 

 

"And so do _you,_ Stephen," she said. "The balance of the dimensions rests in your han-" 

 

"In my hands, I _know,_ I know. But that doesn't mean that I'll stop protecting the one I love...and her children," I said, adamantly. 

 

The Ancient One simply smiled. "Unconditional love... I chose well when I made you Sorcerer Supreme, Stephen." 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on this, loves?


	147. Sense (The Pain)

Reader's POV 

 

"Scott Lang, _why_ didn't you bring Cassie along today?" I pouted, placing my hands on my hips. 

 

"Sorry, Y/N. Cassie wanted to come too, but her mother didn't allow it," he said, giving me an apologetic look. "She has a test tomorrow at school." 

 

"Oh, boo. But I'm sure Cassie will do well," I said, handing him a box of assorted Belgian chocolates I had bought for her. "Give these to her, okay? And _don't_ eat all of them before she gets the box!" 

 

Scott threw a pillow at me. "You're no fun, Y/N. But I'll make sure she gets these. And thank you, on Peanut's behalf. I know how much she _loves_ these." 

 

"Don't let Maggie or Paxton see the chocolates. Or they'll think I'm spoiling your daughter," I said, giving him a look, pushing my glasses up my nose. 

 

He scoffed. "Pffft, Y/N. Give me some credit. I was a professional thief before this. Sure I can sneak some chocolates to my daughter without her mother finding out!" 

 

"Speaking of people not finding out, what going on between you and Hope Pym?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "You two are a thing?" 

 

 _"Wellllll..._ Sort of," Scott shrugged. I didn't fail to notice the slight color that had risen in his cheeks. 

 

 _"Awwww!"_ I squealed, nudging him. "Ant - Man is blushing!" 

 

"Okay, kids, enough playing around," Tony said as he walked in, a file in his hand and a serious expression on his face. 

 

"Why so serious, Stark?" I asked him, tossing a crumpled ball of paper at the man. 

 

He caught it and threw it back at me. I paused it mid-air using my powers, flicking it aside. 

 

"I'm serious, Y/N, because of this entire HYDRA situation unfolding. Rumlow and Ward on the run," Tony sighed. "And Pepper is on my _ass,_ about the baby shower she wants to throw for Sharon and Cap. She wants to make a big deal of it all." 

 

I rolled my eyes. It was quite typical of Pepper. She went all out for all of Clint's babies. When Laura was expecting, each time Pepper organized baby showers, each one more elaborate than the previous. 

 

"Parties and HYDRA, what else is new?" Scott shrugged. 

 

"Yeah, I don't really want to get involved with the baby shower thing, I mean, I'll _attend_ but..." 

 

"I understand, Y/N," Tony said, giving me a sympathetic look. 

 

"Just leave me out of it, you know?" I said.

 

Scott let out a low whistle. "I still don't understand _how_ you're so chilled out, Y/N. I mean, Cap, your boyfriend..." 

 

 _"...fiancé,"_ I corrected, fingering my engagement rings. 

 

"Right, your fiancé," Scott continued. "Is expecting a baby with someone else? I mean, if _I_ was a woman and something like this happened to _me,_ I'd probably kill the guy who did this to me or be in therapy. Or both." 

 

I gave Scott a weird look. _"O-kay?_ Thanks for that mini rant, Scotty. Now I can't get rid of my mental image of you as a woman..." 

 

"No, _seriously,_ Y/N," Tony asked, leaning forward. "Aren't you angry? Pissed? Anything at all? What happened to 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?' I mean, its fucking _incredible_ how you're dealing with this." 

 

I took a deep breath. "I just... I feel _numb,_ you know? I mean, its not like I haven't considered killing Sharon Carter. Believe me, I _have..."_ I said, trying to explain myself. "But at the end of the day, its _Steve's_ baby too. And he's _happy._ I won't screw that up! As much as it hurts me." 

 

"As much as it hurts who?" Sharon said, walking in, Steve following her, carrying a lot of shopping bags from a slew of baby stores. 

 

"Uh, no one," Scott said. 

 

"So I guess baby shopping went well?" Tony asked, trying to change the topic. Steve looked pained. I'm sure Sharon had charged everything on his credit card. Or perhaps Steve had offered to pay.

 

"Oh, _yes!"_ Sharon said, ecstatic to be on Steve's arm.  She was practically glowing, I noticed with a pang of envy. "We're going to my obstetrician tomorrow. To find out the gender of the baby," she said, running a hand over her budding baby bump. 

 

I don't know what came over me. But the presence of the baby was so overwhelming, I could sense it so clearly...

 

"Its a boy..." I murmured. 

 

Everyone turned to look at me, totally silent. 

 

 _"What_ did you say?" Sharon asked me. 

 

I looked directly at her. "You're having a boy. I can sense him. That's what the ultrasound will tell you tomorrow," I said. 

 

She looked spellbound. "But... _How?"_  

 

I tapped two fingers at my temple. "I can _sense_ your child. You're having a boy. Congratulations." 

 

Sharon let out a loud squeal, hugging Steve, shrieking, "A boy! A _boy!"_  

 

Steve looked stunned as well. Scott and Tony moved forward to congratulate him, and I walked out of the room, as fast as I could, breaking into a sprint until I reached the nearest empty storage closet. 

 

Locking myself in, I sank to the floor, inhaling deep breaths, trying to restrain the tears that had begun to flow from my eyes... 

 

_A baby boy._

 

 _Steve Rogers was going to have a baby **boy**_ **.**  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stevie is having a boy... Thoughts? 
> 
> And no, Reader is NOT pregnant.


	148. Slightest Idea

Reader's POV 

 

I fought back the shuddering sobs that threatened to burst from me, almost like a dam that had overflown. 

_Well beyond its capacity._

 

I slumped back against the wall, feeling utterly exhausted. Hot tears ran down my cheeks. 

 

_Steve was expecting a boy._

 

_A beautiful baby boy._

 

I could almost imagine the little one. 

 

_Blonde hair, blue eyes. Steve's smile._

 

Just the vision of the unborn child brought a fresh onslaught of tears. This was something I could _never_ give Steve or Bucky. 

 

When I had undergone Terrigenesis, I had hoped that I could recover. My healing abilities gave me hope. Perhaps the damage that my reproductive system had sustained would be healed. But that wasn't the case. It was all in vain. 

 

The damage had been done _before_ my change. 

 

I had even had a secret consultation with Helen Cho. Perhaps her Cradle could heal and restore the functionality of my system? 

 

"The Cradle can heal the damage your uterus has sustained, Y/N," she had told me solemnly. "But it cannot make the organ function as it had been before." 

 

Sterility, the inability to reproduce, was the cost of my powers. That much I had understood. 

 

_But the pain?_

 

_What could cure that?_

 

Watching a glowing Sharon beaming at Steve, their arms linked. They looked like a _perfect_ couple. 

 

I fidgeted with the engagement ring he had given me. 

 

On any other occasion, I wouldn't have thought twice about rushing to Stephen. He was my _confidante._ My friend. My mentor. He knew all my secrets as well as the back of his hand. 

 

But ever since he had kissed me, something had changed. My mind kept drifting back to it. The kiss. How chaste, yet _intimate_ it had been. His hand cradling my face, tracing my cheekbone, while his other arm stayed wrapped around my waist. Holding me close. The warmth that had radiated from him. And his lips... So _gentle_ and supple against mine. He kissed me with a tenderness that made my heart break. And made my toes curl...

 

I wanted to pull my hair out at how frustrated I was. 

How could a simple kiss affect me so _profoundly?_  

 

Wiping my tears, I pulled out my phone from my pocket. I dialed Stephen's number halfway, before realizing that I was capable of telepathy. 

 

Shaking my head at my stupidity, I concentrated. 

 

_Stephen? Can you hear me?_

 

No response. 

 

_Stephen, please. I need to talk to you._

 

Silence. 

* * *

 

The Tower felt quite stifling and suffocating and it seemed like a cloudy, cool day. So I went out. _Alone._  

To my favorite park. Sitting down on my favorite bench, under a tree, secluded, surrounded by bushes, on a hill. 

 

I sat there alone, with a cup of coffee in my hand, my hair flowing out freely in the breeze. The boys had been throwing Steve an impromptu party, what with the baby gender bomb I had dropped. It was so easy to slip away unnoticed. And I needed some solitude. 

 

Sighing, I took a sip of my coffee, which felt fantastic on this cloudy, windy day. Pushing my glasses up my nose, I was about to pull out my phone, when I heard his voice. 

 

"You were looking for me?" 

 

I turned around and there he was. Standing tall, his crimson cloak flaring out in the wind. 

 

"Stephen! Hi," I said, smiling. 

 

"Honestly, I wasn't expecting to hear from you, darling. After the last time," he said, quietly, lowering his gaze. 

 

I stood up. Walking over to him, I reached out for his hand. It felt so familiar in mine. 

 

"I _missed_ you..." I said. And that was the truth. 

 

He looked at me, his eyes filled with pain. "I missed you too, darling. But I can't be around you anymore and not think of-" 

 

"Not think of what, Stephen?" 

 

"Y/N. Don't you understand? I _need_ you. I need you like I need air." 

 

"Then take me..." I said, simply. 

 

He looked at me. Stunned. _"What?"_  

 

"You heard me." 

 

He shook his head. "If this is joke, it is a _cruel_ one, Y/N," he said bitterly. "You love your soldiers..." 

 

"Yes, I do love them. But I love you _too..."_  

 

He laughed. It was a bitter, detached sound. "You don't mean that." 

 

"Yes I _do,"_ I said, looking straight at him. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about the time you kissed me," I confessed. I knew how horrible it sounded. How morally wrong it was, the admission. 

 

Stephen looked at me, doubtful. I gave his hand a squeeze. _"Look_ into my mind, Stephen. You'll know I'm telling the truth." 

 

"I know you're telling me the truth, darling. But what do you want me to do?" 

 

"I want you to kiss me." 

 

He laughed incredulously. "What _is_ this madness that has gotten into you? You will cheat on your soldiers? Just like that?" 

 

"I'm just asking for a kiss, Stephen," I said. "Just like the one you had asked for. Just _once._ Kiss me." 

 

He looked torn. A battle raging inside his head. 

I could see it in his eyes. 

 

 _"Just once..."_ I said, again, pleading. 

 

His expression changed. _"Fuck it,"_ he cursed. "If I'll be damned for this, so be it." 

 

Faster than I had ever seen him move, his lips came crashing down on mine. Warm and plush.

His hands came up to cradle my face, pulling me closer. Our lips moved together with a familiarity that was almost disturbing, considering that this was only our _second_ kiss. My hands clutched at the front of his blue tunic and I moaned into his mouth. 

 

His tongue slipped past my lips, finding my own. He groaned, the sound reverberating deep inside his chest. He kissed me until I ran out of breath. 

 

Pulling away, he looked at me, murmuring my name, his eyes wild. 

 

I reached out to touch his face, but he stopped me. _"No._ I can't let you do something you'll end up regretting, darling." 

 

"But Steph-" 

 

He silenced me, pressing his lips to mine for a moment. Pulling away, he looked at me, his eyes full of love. 

 

"If I'm going to have you, it will be under the _right_ circumstances. Not like this. I don't want you to regret anything." 

 

I opened my mouth to protest, but he pressed a finger against my lips. _"Shhh."_  

 

"If only you had the slightest idea how _much_ I love you," he said, his eyes wistful, before disappearing into thin air, leaving me alone. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right-o   
> Thoughts? Hit me with 'em.


	149. Shrink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains references to depression/mental illness and medication use.

Reader's POV 

 

"Do you even _consider_ the possibility that you might be going too hard on yourself?" my psychiatrist/therapist asked me. 

 

I had asked Tony to recommend a good shrink for me, considering the fact that I desperately needed someone to talk to. Someone who didn't judge me. A sounding board of sorts. 

 

My psychiatrist was an old man, in his 60's. Gray hair, spectacles. It gave him the appearance of a formidable, well natured grandfather. 

 

"You tell me what I should do, Dr. Jones. My fiancé, well _one_ of my fiancés, is having a child with _another_ woman. And I've tried every single option, and came up with the result that I'll never be able to have children," I said. "Also, there is the fact that I have growing feelings for my mentor."

 

"Doctor Strange..." he said. 

 

 _"Yes,"_ I sighed. 

 

"All aside from the fact that you recently underwent Terrigenesis, a process that has left you with super powers: telekinesis, telepathy and accelerated healing," he said, consulting his writing board. 

 

 _"Yes..."_  

 

"You are in your mid-twenties, Y/N. And a lot of things are happening in your life. You _really_ need to cut yourself some slack," he said. 

 

"And how do I do that?" I asked. 

 

"What do you feel about the possibility of taking medication? I mean, the results from your tests last week came in and its _clear_ to me that you're showing symptoms of clinical depression." 

 

 _"What? Me?_ Clinical depression?" I asked incredulously. 

 

"Yes! You demonstrated reckless behavior when you found out that Captain Rogers was expecting a child with Sharon Carter. You drank. Almost relapsed into drug abuse! This is the _exact_ kind of behavior people with depression indulge in!" 

 

I stared at him. It almost felt like the puzzle pieces were fitting together. Depression. Anxiety. It _did_ make sense, as much as I hated it. 

 

"So what do I do?" 

 

"I'll start you in on some medication. Prozac, perhaps?" he said, scribbling on his prescription pad. "We'll see how it works out for you..." 

 

"Great," I snorted. "A superhero on antidepressants." 

 

He looked at me over his spectacles. "Depression is just like any other illness, Y/N. There should be no stigma, no shame attached to it. You have the symptoms, we'll treat them. Simple. And by the way, you're not the first superhero to take medication." 

My thoughts went instantly to Tony. I mean, his anxiety issues were almost famous. 

 

He handed me the prescription. "Take the drugs from the pharmacist on your way out." 

 

"Okay," I nodded. "And what do I do in the meantime?" 

 

"Focus on your training," he said. "Make yourself busy. Better yourself, okay?" 

 

"Okay." 

 

"And start the medication from today itself. We'll talk in our next week's session about how you're feeling on them." 

 

"Alright, thanks Doc." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short one, sorry.  
> But yeah, depression is a real thing. 
> 
> Thoughts?


	150. Park

Reader's POV 

 

"What would you like to drink?" I asked Stephen. The two of us were standing inside the Starbucks, closest to my favorite park. "My treat," I added. 

 

"I'd like a grande no-sugar, vanilla, extra-hot no whip skim latte," Stephen told the barista. I snorted and nudged him in the ribs. 

 

 _"Seriously?"_ I laughed. 

 

 _"What?"_ he gave me a look. "I order that every time!" 

 

"You're kidding," I said.

He shook his head. "Absolutely not. I'm dead serious about my coffee." 

 

I chuckled again, paying for our drinks. "I didn't know that the Sorcerer Supreme was into no-whip skim lattes!" 

 

"Extra-hot and vanilla flavored, mind," he reminded me, winking, taking our coffees from the barista. 

He handed me mine. 

 

We walked to my favorite bench, the one under the tree and sat down. 

 

"Medication," he whistled quietly. "What else did the doctor tell you?" 

 

"He told me to continue training. To keep myself busy. That's why I called you here today. I need to start training with you again, Stephen." 

 

He sighed, taking a sip of his drink. "Alright. Whatever helps you feel better, okay? We'll start tomorrow." 

 

"Thank you, thank you!" I squealed. He smiled at my reaction.

 

We fell quiet for a moment. Then he spoke. "So tell me, what are you thinking right now?" 

 

"I'm thinking....that it is good to spend time with you. At least I can talk to someone." 

 

He chuckled. "I didn't mean it that way, I meant what's going on in your mind about the whole baby thing? I received an invitation from Ms. Potts this morning, for the baby shower." 

 

I groaned. "Oh my god, she invited you _too?"_  

 

He feigned hurt. "You don't want me to come?" he asked, dramatically placing a hand on his chest. 

 

I laughed. "No! I didn't mean that!" 

 

He chuckled. "I know what you mean, Y/N. I'm just kidding. And if it makes you uncomfortable, I won't attend." 

 

"No, please," I said. "Please come." 

 

"But really, Y/N, what are you thinking? What is your relationship with Steve like?" he asked. "I mean, I know you and Barnes have a pretty, um, _solid_ relationship. But what about Steve? Is there no anger?" 

 

"Oh, there is a shit-ton of anger, believe me," I snorted. "I'm just trying to keep it cool for as long as I can. I mean, Steve is obviously baffled by the whole prospect of becoming a father. And Sharon doesn't seem to want to leave him alone, constantly taking him out for baby shopping and planning the baby shower and visiting the obstetrician," I sighed, pushing my glasses up my nose. "Sometime I feel like beating the shit out of Steve. He could have avoided this whole pregnancy and saved me a lot of heartache, you know?" 

 

He nodded. "And have you...talked to him about all of this? Its not healthy, keeping these emotions bottled up like this, darling." 

 

"I would have talked to him, Stephen. But nowadays, he just doesn't seem to have the time to talk. Miss Carter is omnipresent," I said. 

 

"And do your soldiers know about your visits to the psychiatrist? And the medication?" he asked. 

 

I shook my head. "No, only _you_ know. And Tony knows about the visits, but not the medication." 

 

"Okay..." he said. And we fell back into a comfortable silence. 

 

"I'm glad you decided to forgo the tunic and cape situation today," I said, pointing at his _much_ more inconspicuous outfit of black trousers and a blue button up shirt. 

 

He snorted. "If we're going to have meetings in the park on the regular, I thought it'd be best to leave my usual attire at home." 

 

"You look good..." I appraised him, taking another sip of my coffee. A slight color rose in his cheeks and he looked down. 

 

"Thank you, darling." 

 

"Awwww. Sorcerer Supreme is _blushing?"_ I said, nudging him playfully. 

 

"Shut up," he said, laughing. 

 

Suddenly, a thought hit me. "Hey, Stephen, when we start training tomorrow, can I go and visit Jamie and Stephanie? Its been so long since I saw them last..." 

 

"Sure, darling. We'll go..." he said, placing his hand one mine, giving it a squeeze. "I completely understand that you will want to see them. _Especially_ now." 

 

"Thanks, Stephen..." I said, placing my head on his shoulder. I felt him stiffen for a second, before he relaxed with an exhale. 

 

We sat like that for a few minutes. And then my phone rang. It was Natasha. 

 

"I'm sorry, I have to go," I said to him, when I finished talking to her, hanging up. 

 

He looked a little disappointed, which was so adorable. "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" I asked. 

 

"Yes. The Sanctum. I'll be waiting," he said. 

 

I stood up, but his hand grasped mine. He pulled me into a kiss, barely the lightest brush of his lips against mine. 

 

"I love you," he said, when he pulled away. "Now go..." 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	151. Liquor

Reader's POV

 

"You called me from the park for _this?"_ I looked at Natasha incredulously. She sat next to Pepper, an apologetic look on her face. 

 

Pepper gestured to the racks of dresses she had picked out for me. "Y/N, you _need_ to choose a dress for the baby shower. Its day after tomorrow, after all and we're really cutting it close to the wire here..." she said. 

 

I stared at her, biting back a retort. "Pepper, with all due respect, I don't think I _will_ attend the party." 

 

She looked surprised. "Y/N, you have to attend the party, your fiancé is having a baby..." 

 

I let out a wild, almost _maniacal_ laugh. It made Miss Potts pause mid sentence. _"Newsflash,_ Pep, he's having a baby with _another_ woman. Not me." 

 

She began to speak again. "But Y/N, listen-" 

 

"No, _you_ listen, Pepper," I bulled on, my voice rising a few octaves. "Do you realize how _fucked up_ this situation is? My fiance went and blew his load inside some other woman and now she's pregnant! _Woo-hoo!_ They're having a baby! A beautiful blonde baby boy. And now, Sharon Carter is stuck to my fiance like a goddamned _leech!_ Forever taking him baby shopping and party planning, making it almost impossible for him to spend time with me. They're prancing around like they're the perfect couple, even though he has put the ring on _my_ finger!"

 

"Y/N, sweetie..." Pepper spoke but I went on. 

 

"And you know what the _best_ part is? I can never, _ever_ have a child of my own. I can never give the man I love the one thing that I know he's always wanted. And it _hurts,_ okay? Its hurts me like a truck has hit me head-on, full speed. So if you think, even for one misbegotten moment, that I will attend this _cockamamie_ baby shower, you have another thing coming. _Please,_ spare me the ordeal," I said, my voice rising into a full fledged scream. 

 

Pepper's brows were raised so high that they disappeared into her bangs. Natasha decided to take charge of the situation. "Y/N," she walked over to me, her demeanor as calm as ever. "Come on, let's get you out of here..." she said, placing a gentle but firm hand on my back and guiding me out of the room. As she did so, I noticed that Steve was standing in the doorway, with Sharon, who had an arm around him. Steve was holding a few more bags from baby stores and looked like he had heard my rant. 

 

"How many clothes does one baby need anyway?" I spat, eyeing the bags on the way out. 

* * *

 

I walked into the living room and spotted Thor sitting on the couch, watching TV. I plopped down on the couch next to him. _"Thor!_ Just the man I wanted to see!" 

 

He looked at me, a little taken aback by my overenthusiastic greeting, but said nothing about it. "Hello, Y/N," he replied, smiling politely. 

 

I got down straight to business. 

"Do you have some of that Asgardian liquor? The one that you brought out at that party? The one aged for a thousand years in barrels from wreckage of Grunhel's fleet?" I asked. 

 

He looked surprised. But very interested. 

 

"I might...have a few bottles of it..." he said, smirking. "Why do you ask?" 

 

"I need a bottle... Please?" I said, making puppy eyes at the God of Thunder. He looked at me for a moment, as if he was trying to calculate if I'd actually be able to handle the Asgardian beverage. 

 

"Please, Thor?" I begged, scooting closer to him. _"Please?"_  

 

He chuckled, his laughter so loud that it rumbled through his chest. 

 

"Fine, I'll give you two bottles. But what do I get in return?" he asked me, raising an eyebrow. 

 

"Um, my eternal gratitude?" I asked. 

 

"Not good enough..." 

 

"Fine," I said. "I'll heal you. After _every_ mission, for two years. No matter the extent of your injury... I'll heal you. Deal?" I asked, holding out my hand. 

 

He laughed, almost doubling over. "I was kidding, dear Y/N. There's no need for a deal, I'm always happy to share my drinks..." he said genially. 

"Come on, let's get you your bottles, little one. But tell me, why the sudden craving for Asgardian liquor?" he asked, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. 

"Oh, don't ask, Thor," I sighed. "Long story..." 

"Well, I have all the time in the world!" he boomed. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asgardian liquor.... Whooooo!!!! 
> 
> Thoughts?


	152. Drink

Reader's POV 

 

Asgardian liquor was the BOMB. And when you had a drinking partner like the son of Odin, things quickly escalated into a friendly competition. 

 

To make things fun, he was pouring out the portions into shot glasses. I had already downed three. 

 

"Come on, little Y/N. One more," he said, filling up a few more glasses, passing one to me. 

 

I picked it up and upended the glass in my mouth, wincing at the taste. It felt like liquid fire when I swallowed it. Bitter, a little sweet and the slightest hint of spice, that's the best possible way I could describe the beverage. 

But whatever it was, it felt _good._  

 

"Fucking hell..." I mumbled, wiping my mouth on the back of my hand. "This stuff is _amazing."_  

 

Thor chuckled. "I knew you'd like it, little one," he said, downing a shot. "You're the first woman I know, other than Sif, who's managed to get past two." 

 

I laughed, relishing the buzz of the alcohol as it rushed through my bloodstream. "Here's five!" I exclaimed, grabbing another shot and drinking it up. "For Asgard!" 

 

Thor did the same. "For Asgard indeed." 

"Oh my _GOD!"_ I gasped. "It feels like I'm flying... The _buzz!"_  

 

"Come on, more!" he chuckled, passing me two more shots this time. I drank them, pulling a face that made him double over with laughter. _"There's_ a good girl!" he boomed. 

 

I laughed with him, the sound of it ringing in the room. 

 

"I have to admit that Steve has wronged you, Y/N," Thor said, his face turning serious suddenly. "I mean, getting another woman with child, while he claims to love you. That's no way to treat the woman you love." 

 

"Right?" I asked. _"Thank_ you. Thank you, Thor," I said, patting his arm, before reaching for another shot. "At least someone understands my side of the story." 

 

I emptied the glass and threw it at the God of Thunder, who caught it with a grin. We looked at each other for a moment.

 

 _"ANOTHER!!!!!"_ we both cried out, before bursting into laughter. 

 

"I have to admit another thing, little Y/N. You've turned out to be a better drinking partner than I expected!" 

 

I chuckled, watching him as he poured a glass before handing it to me. "Oh, you and I are going to have _plenty_ more drinking sessions in the future, son of Odin!" 

 

"I'm counting on it," he said, winking at me. 

 

"You want one more?" he asked me, raising a glass. 

 

"Is that even a question?" I laughed, holding my hand out. He pressed the newly refilled glass into my hand. 

 

I drank it up, feeling a slight heat rise in my cheeks from the amount of alcohol I had consumed. "How many have I drunk so far?" I asked him, confused. I had lost count. 

 

He finished his own shot and looked at me. Equally confused. "Honestly, Y/N, I haven't been keeping track..." he slurred. 

 

"Whatever," I shrugged. "Give me another." 

* * *

 

It was near midnight when I finally went up to my room, unsteady on my feet.  Bucky and Steve were sitting on the couch, facing each other, chatting. 

 

 _"Ohhh!_ The boys are back!" I cried out, my voice shrill. 

 

They stared at me as I walked into the living room. _Steady Y/N. Steady. The room is spinning, not you._

 

I staggered, grasping the edge of the nearest table for support, or else I would've toppled straight to the floor. 

 

Steve walked up to me. I gave him a winning smile. 

"You've been drinking..." he said, a slight disapproval in his voice. 

 

 _"Ding! Ding! Ding!"_ I cried out, like we were in a game show. "Correct answer, Captain Rogers!" 

 

He sighed, running a hand over his face. 

"Y/N, I know you're stressed about the whole baby shower and everything else..." 

 

"I'm not _stressed,"_ I scoffed. 

 _"Devastated,_ more like. But definitely _not_ stressed," I corrected him, poking him in the chest. 

 

"Y/N, you know I'm-" 

 

"I'm sorry," I began, mocking his voice. "I know I've been a jerk and hurt you. I love you. _Yadda, yadda, yadda..."_  

 

"Y/N," Bucky warned me, quietly. 

 

"You could've worn a _condom_ for chrissake!" I cried out. "Haven't you _heard_ of birth control? You don't come inside the girl unless you're sure that you _love_ her, Captain Rogers!" 

 

Steve had a stern, almost angry look on his face. I could tell that he was seething. 

 

He grasped my arm, a little too tightly. "Okay, that's enough. You need to go to bed..." 

 

I wrenched my hand out of his grip. "Let go of me!" I said, my voice rising to a scream. "I can find the bed perfectly by myself, thank you..." 

 

Steve raised his hands in surrender. I walked past him, stepping out of my shoes. "B-Bucky, you can come in, if you like. But you're sleeping on the couch, Captain," I said, slurring. "And no sex. For either of you." 

 

I went into the bedroom and collapsed face first on the bed. Within minutes, fully dressed, I was dozing off. 

 

_I was going to have the mother of all hangovers tomorrow._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	153. Daughters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader visits her daughters during training.

Reader's POV 

 

My daughters. _No one_ could bring a smile to my face the way those two did. 

 

"Jamie, Stephanie, I have something important to tell you..." I said. 

 

Both of them looked worried. "What happened, mom?" Jamie asked me. 

 

I inhaled deeply. "Well, darlings, you're going to have a little brother soon..." 

 

They both gasped. Absolutely delighted. 

 

Stephanie placed her tiny hand on my belly. "You're going to have a _baby,_ mommy?" 

 

Jamie looked at me with bright, expectant eyes. 

 

My heart sank. I felt tears sting at my eyes at their innocence. Of course that's what they would have expected...

 

"No, darling. _I'_ _m_ not going to have a baby..." I said, swallowing the sudden painful lump in my throat. 

 

They both looked confused. "If you're not having a baby then how is he our brother?" Jamie asked. 

 

"He's your brother because your Dada is his father," I tried to explain it to them.

 

"Dada loves someone else?" Stephanie asked me, puzzled. 

 

"No, sweetheart... Well, I don't know, to be honest. But you just need to know that you're going to have a baby brother soon..." I said, trying to make this as simple for them as possible. 

 

Instead of looking happy, they both looked upset. Almost on the verge of tears. 

 

 _"What's wrong?"_ I asked them. 

 

Jamie looked at me, her eyes full of tears. "So does that mean Dada will forget us?" 

 

"Oh, no, _no,_ " I pulled them both into my arms. "No, my loves, he won't forget you." I hugged them tight, fighting back my own tears. It broke my heart, just thinking about the changes Sharon and Steve's child was going to bring about in our relationship. 

He would become so busy with his newborn son, it was very much possible that his unborn daughters would slip away from his mind...

 

"And even if he does forget you, I will make sure that he remembers," I said, closing my eyes. "I will never forget you, my darlings. That's a promise..." 

"I love you both so much..." I breathed. 

 

"We love you too, mommy..." they replied. 

 

I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Y/N, its time to go..." I heard Stephen's voice. 

 

 _"Uncle Stephen!"_ the girls cried out, pulling away from me and rushing to hug him. 

 

He kneeled down and greeted them both with a hug. "Hello, little ladies..." he said, chuckling. 

 

I don't know why, but it made me so incredibly happy, watching the girls greet Stephen so warmly. 

 

"And how are we doing?" he asked, pinching Jamie's cheek lightly, tapping Stephanie's nose playfully with his finger. 

 

"We're good," Jamie said, smiling up at him. 

 

"Nothing scaring us," Stephanie added. 

 

"That's great!" Stephen said, winking at her. I felt like I was missing out on something...

 

"What was scaring you, girls?" I asked. 

 

"Ohh, nothing, mom..." Jamie replied, breezily. "We were just afraid of the dark." 

 

"And Uncle Stephen made it go away!" Stephanie said, wrapping her little arm around his neck. 

 

Stephen looked _highly_ amused, a smile playing on his lips. 

 

It was obvious that the three knew something I didn't, but I decided not to ruin their little secret by asking. What amazed me was how attached the girls were to Stephen. 

 

"Now you two promise me, if anything troubles you, you'll call me, alright?" he told the girls. 

 

They nodded eagerly. 

 

He placed a kiss on Jamie's forehead, then on Stephanie's before standing up. "We have to go now," he told the girls, holding out his hand to me. "Shall we?" 

 

I gave the girls a quick hug, before getting up and taking his hand. "I'll see you soon, girls! Be good!" 

 

"We will!" 

 

They waved at me and I raised my hand in farewell...

* * *

 

A blink of an eye later, I was back, lying on the floor of the Sanctum's training room. 

 

 _"Thanks,_ Stephen," were the first words out of my mouth. "For whatever you did for my daughters..." 

 

He chuckled, his hand brushing against mine. "It was nothing, darling." 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	154. Worried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky are worried about the Reader.

Steve's POV 

 

"Well, you _really_ need to stop pulling your punches, Steve," Bucky said, as we walked up to our floor. 

 

We had been up since 6 am. First a run, then a meeting, then a marathon training session. It was the way of the big party Pepper was throwing for Sharon and me. And I was stressed. I needed every bit of exercise today to release the tension. 

 

Y/N had resumed training with Stephen Strange, which was good. As much as Bucky and I did not like the guy, Y/N was visibly happier since she had begun training with him. 

 

It was past noon and all I wanted was to get a nice hot shower in, to clean up all the sweat and dirt, before the party this evening. 

 

We walked into our shared apartment to find Y/N sitting on the couch in front of the TV, bottle of Asgardian liquor in her hand. Bucky and I watched, _stunned,_ as she raised the bottle to her lips, chugging straight from it. She took a healthy sip, swallowed, then grimaced. 

 

"Y/N?" Bucky asked, a look of utter bewilderment on his face. 

 

She looked at us. It appeared for a moment as if she didn't recognize us. 

 

"Oh _hello,_ my sweaty super soldiers!" 

Her voice was high pitched. And slurring. 

 

"She's drinking Asgardian booze _straight_ from the bottle," Bucky said, looking mildly impressed. I rolled my eyes at him. 

 

"You're drinking?" I asked. 

 

"Top marks, Stevie," she took another swig. 

 

"Its barely afternoon," I added. 

 

She looked at me, her brows raised, with a _'so what'_ expression. "Well, _technically,_ it _is_ afternoon," she muttered, glancing at the clock. 

 

"You shouldn't be drinking," I told her. 

 

"Watch me," she said, taking another sip, a little of which spilled from the corner of her mouth, which made her burst into a fit of wild giggles. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, leaning back on the couch. "And you shouldn't be getting other women pregnant, _Stove."_

 

"What did you just call me?" 

 

"I called you Stove. And that's Bucket over there. My _Stove_ and _Bucket!"_ she screamed, before bursting into laughter again. 

 

She laughed so hard, her face turned bright red. "Oh, my god, I'm so _funny!"_ she exclaimed. 

 

"Where'd you get the alcohol?" I asked. 

 

"Why, from the son of Odin himself!" 

 

"Y/N," Bucky said, kneeling down on the floor in front of her. "Why are you doing this, doll?" 

 

She looked at him for a long moment and I noticed the dark circles under her eyes, which looked red. "Have you been _crying?"_ I asked. 

 

"That," she sniffed, taking a gulp from the bottle. "Is none of your business." 

 

Bucky took her hand carefully. "Doll, why are you doing this?" he asked again. 

 

"Because it makes me numb, Bucket. And numb is _gooooood..."_ she slurred. "Better than being in constant pain, all thanks to Captain Am-America over there." 

 

"Y/N, I'm-" 

 

"'I'm _sorry!'"_ she screamed, her voice mocking and patronizing. "'I'm sorry I blew my star spangled sperm inside Sharon and I'm sorry that she's pregnant!' That's what you wanna say, Rogers?" 

 

She looked on the verge of tears, when suddenly her expression changed and she began laughing. "Star spangled sperm," she muttered, between giggles. 

 

Bucky looked at me, worried. "What are we going to do?" he asked me, quietly. 

 

"Y/N, have you slept? At all?" I asked her. 

 

"Huh?" she asked, taking another sip. "I... I don't remember..." 

 

I reached out to touch her hand. She pulled it away roughly. _"Don't **touch**_ me, Steve!" 

 

I sighed. "Y/N, you need to go to sleep." 

 

She stood, bottle in hand, swaying dangerously. "I can go to bed on my own," she mumbled, walking, no, _staggering_ into her room and slamming the door shut behind her. 

 

I looked at Bucky. "Wow," he said. 

 

"Its all my fault," I said lowering my head. 

 

"C'mon, Stev-" 

 

"Bucky! She's turning into a raging alcoholic!" I said, my voice rising. "I _mean...look_ at her!" 

 

He fell silent. "Its all my fault," I said. "But what am I supposed to do? I have some responsibilities towards Sharon and my unborn son too!" I said, trying to explain myself. 

 

Bucky sighed. "I _know,_ Stevie," he said, patting my shoulder. "What do you need me to do?" 

 

"Well, its obvious that she's acting out," I said. "And my very presence seems to anger her. So you stay with her, Buck. Make sure she doesn't do anything reckless. Especially today. Its the party this evening." 

 

"Okay," Bucky nodded. "Alright, I'll stay with her." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right. Thoughts?


	155. Baby Shower

Reader's POV 

 

I had poured out a bit of Thor's Asgardian booze into a flask, kept it hidden in my purse. I needed that stuff if I had to get through tonight... 

Pepper had decked out the room in colors of blue, with a huge banner that read 'IT'S A BOY!' 

There were tables laden with cupcakes frosted with the symbol of Steve's shield against a blue background. 

 

_Well, fuck me._

 

Everyone was here, handing out presents for the baby to the proud parents, Steve and Sharon. 

 

I rolled my eyes, seeing how Sharon was practically _hanging_ off Steve's arm, a huge smile plastered on her face. Both of them were even wearing color coordinated outfits. _Jesus._  

 

 _"Easy,_ Y/N," Bucky warned me in a low voice, as I took out my flask and took a gulp. 

 

I gave him a look, pulling myself away from the grip he had on my arm. "Wait! Where are you going?" 

 

"To give the happy couple their present!" I replied. 

 

Clutching my gift for them in hand, I walked over to where they stood. "Congratulations!" I said, holding out the present to Sharon. She looked stunned to see me. "Y/N! You _came!"_ she said, her voice almost venomously sweet as she accepted the present. 

 

_Ugh, I was going to puke._

 

"Thank you," Steve said, looking relieved. I ignored him entirely, turning around and walking toward the expansive balcony. 

 

"Y/N-" Bucky reached out to grab my arm again. _Why_ was he treating me like a patient from a mental asylum, I couldn't understand. 

 

"Leave me alone, Bucky!" I brushed him off, my voice harsh enough to make him raise his brows. But, thankfully he didn't follow me as I went out to the balcony. 

 

Outside the air was chilly. I inhaled deeply, feeling the sharp, clean air fill my lungs. Leaning against the railing, I pulled out my flask again. 

 

_Drinking at a baby shower. How classic._

 

I felt a fresh wave of tears sting my eyes. I swallowed the growing lump in my throat with a healthy swig of liquor. 

 

_It was all just **perfect,** wasn't it? Sharon expecting Steve's baby. A little blonde haired, blue eyed bundle of joy. Perhaps they'd name him Steven Rogers Jr. _

_And the little boy wa_ s _going to be a constant, walking, **living** reminder of Steve's infidelity..._

 

_God, I missed Jaime and Stephanie. Why couldn't **my girls** be **real?** Why couldn't they be tangible? So I could take them out for ice creams, play dates in the park... Oh, my sweet innocent baby girls. _

 

I wiped my tears on the back of my hand, taking another sip. 

 

_Fuck it. Fuck them all. Sharon. Steve. The baby. They can all rot in hell for all I care. And fuck those who think that I'm turning into an alcoholic. If drinking is the way to numb the pain, so be it._

 

A cruel, almost maniacal laugh burst from my throat. And then the very next moment, I was sobbing. 

 

"Y/N," I heard Stephen's quiet voice, his hand gentle on my shoulder. "Are you okay?" 

 

I laughed again. Louder this time. "Do I _look_ okay to you?" I asked him, an edge in my voice. 

 

"I'm... I'm so _sorry,_ darling." 

 

I looked at him, my vision blurry with tears. "I just, I need to be alone," I said, turning away from him, walking away. 

 

"But Y/N-" 

 

I didn't even wait to hear what he was saying, walking through the party room. Everyone had their backs turned to me, they were toasting to Steve's child. Bucky stood next to Steve, smiling as he raised his glass to his best friend. Sharon stood with her arm around Steve. And Steve had his hand on Sharon's baby bump...

 

I bit back a sob, breaking into a run. Running away from the party. On the way to the elevator, I grabbed my coat. 

 

"FRIDAY, ground floor, please," I said, stepping into the elevator, shrugging into my coat. 

 

* * *

 

 

It felt _good_ to be out in the streets, I could lose myself in the crowd. Wiping away my tears was futile, new ones would replace them. I was sobbing, and at this point, I didn't even care who saw me. 

 

The passersby gave me odd looks. I didn't care. I just kept walking. 

 

As I rounded the corner, my phone rang. I pulled out to see that Steve was calling me. Just seeing his name made me angry for some reason and I threw my phone away. The crunch as the device shattered against the wall was _so satisfying..._  

 

I walked into an empty, dark alley, pulling out my flask and emptying it in one go. The alcohol felt good. Running down my throat like liquid fire, the pleasant heat spreading all the way to my fingertips. 

 

 _"There_ you are," I heard a familiar voice growl behind me. 

 

_I should've been scared. But I wasn't._

 

I turned around. 

 

"Good evening, Brock," I replied, staring at his disfigured face. I was so far gone, I almost felt _happy_ to see him. Relieved even. 

 

He looked surprised at my reaction. "You actually look pleased to see me," he said, laughing. "I knew we had fucked you up, but _this much?"_  

 

"Where's Ward?" I asked, like I was meeting an old friend at a high school reunion. 

 

He laughed even harder. "This is fucking _brilliant!"_  

_Fight him, Y/N, my brain told me half heartedly._

 

I braced myself, sending a blast of energy at him. He dodged it. 

 

"Ward, _now!"_ he yelled. 

 

A dart hit me out of nowhere, straight in my neck. 

Almost immediately, I began to feel drowsy. 

 

"This sedative was developed especially for enhanced individuals," Rumlow grinned menacingly. "Such as yourself, baby girl." 

 

My vision began to darken at the edges and I collapsed against the wall. 

_I should have tried to fight them. But I didn't. A part of me had already given up. Especially after seeing Steve with Sharon at the party..._

 

I slumped to the floor. 

 

"Y/N, so good to see you again," I heard Ward's voice, his footsteps approaching. 

 

"The three of us are going to have a _lot_ of fun together," I heard Rumlow say before my vision faded to black.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	156. The Cage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader has been abducted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DARK THEMES AHEAD!

Reader's POV 

 

I became aware of the horrible, _pounding_ headache even before I opened my eyes. Every muscle in my body felt sore. I groaned, slowly willing my eyes to open.

 

 _Dark._ That was all I could see for a few moments. Then the lights were turned on...

 

It was a small room, if you could call it a room. It was more like a prison cell, placed inside a _much_ larger room. A holding chamber. 

 

"Ah, you're awake, kitten?" I heard Rumlow's deep voice. He was speaking through a microphone. There were cameras in this ~~room~~ cell. 

 

I sat up slowly, using the wall as a support since my muscles felt weak, like they were ready to give out. They had taken away my clothes, leaving me in an oversized t-shirt and panties. Nothing else. 

 

"Welcome to the Cage..." Rumlow said. 

 

I looked around. The walls of the cell were white and it appeared that they were made of metal. There was only one glass window in the corner. A thin mattress on the floor and a pillow and a flimsy blanket constituted the only "furniture" in the holding chamber. 

 

"Wh-" I tried to speak, but my voice came out scratchy from lack of use. "Where am I?" 

 

No answer. Just Ward's laughter on the comm. 

"Do you honestly think we'll tell you, kitten?" Rumlow answered. "Just know that you're _safe..."_ he chuckled as if he had just cracked the funniest joke in the world. 

 

The door to the chamber slid open and Rumlow walked in. Despite all my muscles screaming in protest, I tried to launch a blast of energy at him. _Nothing_ happened. He laughed. 

 

Crying out in frustration, I threw myself at him, trying to attack him with kicks and punches. He caught me easily, slamming my back against the wall, pinning my arms. 

 

"Such a _fiesty_ little kitty. No wonder Rogers and Barnes keep you as their squeeze, huh?" he growled. 

 

I spat at his disfigured face. He chuckled. 

 

Raising my hands above my head, he grasped my wrists with one hand. With his free hand, he wiped my saliva from his face. Then he slapped me. _Hard._  

 

I cried out in pain. He grinned. 

 

_Focus, Y/N, I told myself. Try to concentrate. You can get inside his mind an-_

 

"Awwww, trying to use your telepathy?" Rumlow asked, his voice mocking, child-like. I didn't reply, just turned away from him. 

 

He grasped my chin, turning me forcefully to look at him. "Do you know Erik Lehnsherr?" he asked. 

 

 _"Magneto?"_ I asked, stunned by the mention of his name. 

 

"Smart girl," Rumlow said. "You know the helmet Magneto wears, kitten? The one that keeps telepaths and psychic fucks like you out of his head? Well, guess what, the Cage was made with the exact same technology. Built for holding freaks like you. So no telepathy, no telekinesis and no astral projection in here," he said, grinning menacingly. "You can't scream to your soldiers for help. Oh, and _no_ kisses in the park with Strange either!" 

 

 _"Fuck you!"_ I screamed. 

 

He laughed, highly amused. "Oh, I will," he said, his eyes glinting. 

 

His free hand ran up my thigh. "So soft..." he murmured, leaning close to me. I turned away from him, cringing. My cringe turned into fear when his hand slipped between my legs. 

 

"No, please..." I whispered. His hand slipped into my panties, into my folds. "Stop..." 

 

He hummed quietly, his fingers rubbing against my clit. "Soft down here too," he leered at me. "And wet..." his finger slipped into me. I gasped, _hating_ myself for it. 

 

"Rumlow, _enough,"_ I heard Ward's voice on the microphone. "Come out. _Now."_  

 

He released me, pushing me roughly onto the mattress. I watched in silence as he brought his fingers up to his mouth, licking them clean. 

 

"You taste _really_ good, kitten..." he said, walking away. "And don't worry, while you're here, I'll make sure you don't miss your soldiers too much." 

 

He walked out, the door sliding shut behind him. 

 

I dissolved into tears. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	157. Confinement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader struggles in her cell. Here are her thoughts.

Reader's POV 

 

_Stephen? Wanda? Can you hear me?_

 

I had almost grown accustomed to the perpetual silence in my cell. And I couldn't figure out how much time had passed. How many hours? How many _days?_ It was impossible for me to tell. 

 

For the most part, I slept on my little bed. Or I daydreamed, lost in my own thoughts. Or I tried to contact Stephen or Wanda through my powers. But I quickly understood that Rumlow had told me the truth. My powers were _useless_ inside this cell. But that still didn't stop me from trying.

 

Don't get me wrong, I had used, or _tried_ to use physical force to break down the walls of my cell. Which was completely in vain, since the walls were conducting electric current. And the moment I touched the wall, I was thrown back with the force of the electric field. So yeah, brute force was futile. 

 

They passed me my ~~meals~~ meal through a vent in one of the walls. If you could call it a meal. It was just a spoonful of some wholly unappetizing mashed _stuff._ It tasted awful. I had pushed my tray away after one morsel. And since then, the food had stopped coming _entirely._  

 

I knew one thing for sure. They were starving me. And I had a strong suspicion that there was something in this cell, in the air, which was making me weak. 

 

The doctors came in on the first day, along with Ward. I tried to struggle but I was so weak that they could restrain me easily. They took a few samples of my blood and left me alone. 

 

Since then, no one had come into the cell. No doctors, no Ward and _mercifully,_ no Rumlow. 

 

They only passed me bottles of water through the vent. No food. 

 

The funny thing is, the puncture wound from the injections (when the doctors had taken my blood samples) had _still_ not healed. That was odd. And that also made me believe that my theory, about there being something (a gas of some kind?) in the air that was affecting my healing abilities, was _correct._ It was weakening me with every breath I took. 

 

I could _feel_ it. 

 

As I lay there on the mattress, my mind asked me a series of questions... 

 

_Where am I?_

 

_Why have they brought me here?_

 

_How long has it been since I was taken?_

 

 _Have Bucky, Stephen, Steve and the Team realized that I'm missing?_  

 

_Are they trying to find me?_

 

_Why is it taking them so long?_

 

_How long will I last in this cell?_

 

_Will they be able to find me, before it is too late?_

 

In the time that I had been thrown into this cell, I had lost my ability to heal. I was breathing with difficulty. And I was suffering from recurrent nosebleeds. My white t-shirt was stained red as I used it to wipe the blood that would trickle down my nose. 

 

_There is something in the air here, I can feel it._

 

But the real question was, _will I be able to survive in here?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will show what's been going on in the Team, since Reader's abduction. 
> 
> Thoughts on this chapter?


	158. Assemble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team has a meeting.

Bucky's POV 

 

Fury had called a meeting this morning. 

 

It had been three days since the baby shower, _three whole days_ since Y/N's disappearance. And _I was losing my mind._

 

I hadn't slept. Or eaten. Neither had Steve. And as much as the guy tried, he couldn't shake off Sharon from his side. She was constantly around him, trying to get his attention. 

 

"Alright, Avengers," Fury began, calling for everyone's attention. "Y/N's disappearance is a serious issue. Stark, have there been _any_ leads?" 

 

Tony shook his head. "Nothing so far," he said, his shoulders slumping defeatedly. "I've sent the Iron Legion to look for her on every continent, while FRIDAY has been searching through every byte of data on the internet for some clue about Y/N, but so far... I have _nothing."_  

 

"Its like she's vanished into thin air," Clint said, leaning forward. 

 

"If there's no trace of her on the internet, and the Iron Legion can't find her, then someone has done a _very_ thorough job," Natasha said, her brow quirking.

 

"That _someone_ has to be HYDRA," I added. "I just know it." 

 

Steve nodded. "They were already after her. Its got to be Rumlow or Ward. Or both." 

 

"But why did they take her again?" Wanda asked, puzzled. 

 

"It could be her powers," Vision said. 

 

"Have you tried to contact her through telepathy, Maximoff?" Fury asked Wanda. 

 

She looked at him uncertainly. "I've _tried,_ sir. I am trying right now, but there's no response." 

 

"What about Strange?" Fury asked. "He's a stronger telepath, surely his powers must have a wider range? Where is he?" 

 

"Steve had a fight with him yesterday," I muttered. "He told him that his help wasn't _'necessary'_ to find Y/N." 

 

Steve gave me a sour look. "We don't need _his_ help, Buck," he said, tersely. 

 

Fury looked resigned. "I hate to say this, Rogers, but that was one of the most idiotic decision you've ever taken. Strange could have been a _great_ help at finding her." 

 

Steve opened his mouth to protest. "But-" 

 

I slammed my hand on the table. I'd had enough of Steve's ego, his jealousy. _"ENOUGH,_ STEVE!" I shouted. Everyone fell silent. 

"Out of all of us, the only one who had the best possible chance at finding Y/N was Stephen Strange. And you insulted the man and drive him away! You fucking moron!" 

 

Steve looked at me, bewildered. "But Buck-" 

 

 _"No!"_ I went on, staring right at him. "You fought with him, only because of your own insecurities, your inflated ego! If anything, and I mean _anything_ happens to Y/N, I'll hold _you_ responsible for it," I said, pointing a finger at him. 

 

"Has anyone heard from Stephen Strange recently?" Tony asked, obviously trying to diffuse the tension.

 

Wanda shook her head. "I went to the Sanctum this morning, to talk to him. To ask for his help in finding Y/N, but there was no one there." 

 

"She was upset about the whole baby thing. She was drinking uncontrollably. She was already in the wrong state of mind, Steve. And now she's been kidnapped and we can't do _anything!"_ I cried out, voicing my frustration, the anger finally boiling over. 

 

 _"You_ are responsible for this, Steve! Only you!" I said, getting up from my chair and walking out of the meeting before anyone spoke any further. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	159. Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blood ahead!

Reader's POV 

 

I woke up to a _horrible_ stomach ache. The pain was intense and it sent a wave of nausea through me. Trying not to get sick, I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself. 

_You're okay, Y/N. You're okay. Relax. Breathe._

The pain was of a contracting type, spiking and relaxing, before spiking _again._ I lay down on my flimsy mattress, curled up into a ball, clutching my stomach. 

_What's happening to me?_

 

"What's wrong, kitten?" I heard Rumlow's mocking voice on the intercom. "You want me to come in and ease your pain?" he asked, before breaking into laughter. 

_Fuck you, Rumlow. The last thing I want is your hands on me._

 

 _"No,"_ I replied, through gritted teeth, trying to prevent myself from crying out because of the pain. I felt another wave of nausea come over me, just at the sound of his voice. 

 

I needed help, but most certainly **_not_** Rumlow's help. 

 

Crawling on all fours, I made my way to the toilet, just in time, retching loudly. I threw up, a strange metallic taste in my mouth. To my horror, I realized that I was throwing up _blood._ Straight up blood. 

_Jesus._

_What had they given me? Was it in the food? The water?_

 

Once the retching subsided, I flushed the toilet. Rinsing my mouth in the sink in the corner, I splashed a little water on my face. There were no mirrors in this cell, but I knew I looked like hell. 

_Pale, gaunt, dark circles. The whole nine yards._

 

Crawling back onto my mattress, I slumped down against the wall, _exhausted._ The nausea had subsided and the pain in my stomach had also lessened significantly. But something told me that I was going to suffer a whole lot _more._ First the nosebleeds, now the bloody vomitings...  

_What's next, huh?_

 

The loss of blood was making me weak. I was feeling faint. They were poisoning me, for sure. And I could almost see the smug, satisfied grin on Rumlow's face as he saw my suffering on the cameras.

 _That creepy asshole._  

 

The door slid open and I was filled with dread, expecting Rumlow's arrival. His leering looks and creepy touches had made his intentions perfectly clear...

_He was going to force himself on me the first chance he got. The only thing preventing him were Ward and their bosses. But for how long?_

 

Ward walked in and I sighed in relief. He was the more benign one of the two. 

 

_I'm almost delighted to see you, Grant!_

 

"You're sick," he stated, matter-of-factly. 

 

_Yeah, no shit, bastard._

 

I nodded. 

 

"Well, there's nothing much I can do about it," he said, tossing me a bottle. I failed to catch it, my hands were trembling from weakness. It landed on my lap. "Drink," he said. 

 

I hesitated, looking at him. "Its clean," he said, before walking out the door. 

 

With shaky hands, I unscrewed the lid of the bottle and took a tentative sip. It was orange juice. I drank down the sweet, tangy juice in one go. This was the only thing, apart from the bottles of water, that they had given me. Food had stopped coming a long time ago. 

 

They were _weakening_ me, _starving_ me. And the gas in the air was also doing its job, giving me nosebleed and making me puke blood. 

 

But _why_ they were doing this, I still had no clue. Maybe for their own sadistic pleasure? But then why did they take my blood samples? 

 

I was sure of one thing, I wasn't going to survive in this cell for much longer. 

 

I lay down on the bed, staring up at the white lights on the ceiling. Closing my eyes, I thought about death, and how it didn't seem like such a bad idea after all. 

 

_I'd get to be with Jamie and Stephanie. Forever. My sweet, little girls. And Stephen could always visit us in the garden if he wanted. Steve and Bucky could just replace me with Sharon if they wanted. And I'd be safe. With my girls. Away from this hell..._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	160. Peek

Stephen's POV 

 

I had admired Steven Rogers. _Always._ Reading World War legends about Captain America was a favorite pastime for me, when I was growing up. 

 

But the man, the legend in the flesh was the biggest _idiot_ I had ever come across. 

 

I knew he never liked me. He could sense my attraction to Y/N right from the start. But the girl we both loved had gone missing. 

 

And when I offered to help, he had laughed derisively. 

 

"Forgive me, Doctor Strange, but I don't think we need a _magician_ on our team for this one," he had said scoffed. 

 

"A _sorcerer,"_ I corrected him, struggling to sound courteous. 

 

"Whatever," he said. "A mystic cannot help us, not against HYDRA at least. Why don't you go and fight ghosts and gremlins, Doctor?" 

 

_God, what an obnoxious douche._

 

"Alright, Captain. You do what _you_ do best. Punching people in their faces and throwing your little Frisbee around. And I'll do my part. _Alone,"_ I said, before taking his leave. 

 

* * *

 

Tracking Y/N down was the easy part. I knew that Fury had suspicions about Brock Rumlow and Grant Ward. 

 

So through meditation, I tapped into Grant Ward's mind, taking possession of him. It was just one of the things I could to, mental possession. Taking control of minds. 

 

Through _his_ eyes, I could see Y/N, struggling against that loathsome Rumlow, while he _touched_ her. I could see Y/N, trapped in the tiny white cell, trying to fight against Rumlow. 

 

He had pinned her against the wall with one hand, his other hand between her legs...

 

I was filled with a sudden, _blind_ rage. I wanted to kill him right then and there. 

 

Instead, I grabbed the microphone and using Ward's voice, commanded him, "Rumlow, _enough._ Come out. _Now."_  

 

I watched as Rumlow released Y/N, and walked out of the cell licking his fingers, before I pulled out of Ward's mind. 

 

I promised myself that I would break each of Rumlow's fingers _individually,_ before I killed him. 

 

They had kept her in a facility, hidden in the Swiss Alps. 

* * *

 

I tried to track Ward for the next few days, but was unable to. I wanted to free Y/N so _desperately_ and was preparing a plan to do the same. 

 

A few days later, I did manage to slip into his mind. And I saw that Y/N had grown considerably weaker. Hollowed cheeks, sunken eyes. Her skin had paled. My sweet girl.

 

Her white shirt was stained with blood. And she was vomiting blood into the toilet. 

 

My heart wrenched in pain seeing her like this. 

 

It must've shown on ~~my~~ Ward's face. 

"What's wrong Ward? Going soft on the girl?" Rumlow asked me, giving ~~me~~  Ward a look. 

 

"She's _dying,_ can't you see that?" I asked, walking to the fridge and grabbing a bottle of juice. 

 

"Whoa, whoa, _whoa,"_ Rumlow said, blocking my path. "Where do you think you're going with the juice?" 

 

I looked at him. "You're starving her," I pointed it out to the brute. "We _need_ to keep her alive or the bosses will have our heads, do you understand? Just let me give this to her..." 

 

Rumlow stared at me, a suspicious look on his face, but he eventually moved aside. 

 

I walked into the cell and there she was, slumped down defeatedly against the wall. She looked so _weak,_ it broke my heart. 

 

I wanted to grab her hands, to tell her that it was _me, Stephen._ And that she was going to be okay. That she was going to be _safe._  

 

But I also knew that Rumlow was watching me through the cameras.  

 

"You're sick," I said. 

 

She nodded. 

 

"Well, there's nothing much I can do about it," I said, throwing the bottle to her. She was unable to catch it, she was _that_ weak. 

 

"Drink." 

 

 _I'm going to get you out of here, my darling_ , my mind was screaming. But I knew she couldn't hear me inside this cell. 

 

She hesitated, looking at the bottle. She feared that it was poisoned too. 

 

"Its clean," I said, before walking out. 

 

* * *

 

I pulled out of Ward's mind. 

I was back in my room at Kamar - Taj, Ancient One's temple. 

Just as I was deliberating over my plan to rescue her, my phone rang. 

 

It was Bucky Barnes. 

"Hello?" I answered. 

 

"Doctor Strange, we have a lead on Y/N. Steve says they've kept her in a HYDRA facility in Fiji. He's leading the team there." 

 

I almost snorted on the phone. How off-the-mark the Captain was. _Idiocy._  

 

"We need your help, sir," Barnes said. 

 

"I have a more pressing issue to attend to, Barnes. And I have _no_ interest in helping your arrogant Captain," I said, before disconnecting the call. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go Stephen go!  
> Go! Go! Go! 
> 
> Thoughts on this chapter?


	161. Safe

Reader's POV 

 

I woke up again, to the sound of rapid gunfire. How many hours had passed since I had fallen unconscious, I couldn't tell. 

 

But the one thing I could tell was that my nose had been bleeding. _Again._ And this time, my blood had soaked a nice big puddle on my pillow. I tried to breathe through my mouth, because the scent of my blood was making me nauseous. The blood felt cold and sticky against my cheek. I wanted to get up, to get away from the mess. But I simply did not have the strength to do it. 

 

Let's just say that at this point, I was grateful that I had been lying on my side and not on my back, or I would have asphyxiated on my own nosebleed in my sleep. 

 

 _Its the **small things** you should be grateful for, Y/N_ , my inner voice reminded me, a little sarcastically. 

 

I suppressed a chuckle. 

 

_God, they've fucked you up **good,** kiddo. _

 

More gunshots rang out, accompanied by screams. At first, I was confused. And afraid. 

 

Afraid to hope, actually. I _wanted_ to believe that the Avengers, my teammates, had found me. That I was _safe._  

 

But my starved, poisoned mind didn't want to get my hopes up just yet...

* * *

 

I don't know how long the shooting lasted. Believe me, I tried to count the seconds in my mind. 

 

_One Mississippi... Two Mississippi..._

 

But I was so weak that I lost count. 

 

The sounds outside eventually died down. Replaced my a deafening, roaring silence. 

 

_What's going on?_

 

The door to the cell slid open and I winced, bracing myself for Rumlow's wrath, or the doctor's needles. 

 

But through my blurry vision, I caught sight of a figure, dressed in a _very_ familiar blue, a red cloak trailing behind him...

 

Surely I was hallucinating. It couldn't be true... It was almost too _good_ to be true... 

 

The figure leaned down, kneeling beside me on the floor.

 

A hand cupped my cheek. I sighed at the gentle, _careful_ touch. It had been a while since I had been touched like that... 

 

"Y/N," the deep, baritone voice made my heart stutter. 

 

 _"S-S-Stephen?"_ I stammered, my voice barely above a whisper. 

 

"Yes, darling. Its me." 

 

I let out a wild, insane laugh. My mind was playing some _amazing_ tricks on me. 

 

"Look at me, darling..." he urged, his voice more insistent now. _Worried._  

 

"I'm.... I'm dreaming..." 

 

He grasped my face, with both hands. "You're safe now. I'm taking you home, okay?" 

 

 _"Home?"_ I asked, confused. 

 

"Yeah, just stay with me," he said, pulling me into his arms. 

 

There was a whooshing sound, and a sensation of being pulled. And as suddenly as it had started, it stopped. 

 

He lifted me up, like I weighed nothing and lay me down on what seemed like a bed. 

 

"Soft..." I chuckled, dazedly. 

 

I heard the sound of his nervous chuckle. 

 

"Ward? Rumlow?" I asked. 

 

"Rumlow escaped. I killed Ward." 

 

 _"Th-thank_ you..." 

 

I felt the warmth of a washcloth pressed against my cheek. He was wiping away the blood. Gently, _carefully..._  

 

"You're welcome, darling. Now _sleep._ You're safe," he murmured, placing a kiss on my forehead. 

 

He placed a hand on my forehead and murmured an incantation, sending me into a deep, peaceful sleep. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	162. Mangled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strange realized the extent of Reader's injuries.

Stephen's POV 

 

I had naively believed that Y/N had managed to escape in the nick of time, unscathed. 

 

She was alive, _yes._ I was _immensely_ grateful for that fact. 

 

But the scientists and doctors of HYDRA had managed to hurt the girl I loved. I hadn't realized the extent of the damage caused initially. I had assumed that HYDRA hadn't yet begun their repugnant experiments on Y/N. 

 

_I was wrong._

 

I had teleported with Y/N to the Avengers Tower. Placing her on the bed, I began to clean her bloodied cheek with a warm washcloth. Using an incantation, I sent her to sleep. She was in obvious pain. I wanted her to _rest._  

 

Once I finished cleaning her face, I turned my attention to the possible injuries on her body. I hadn't expected any. But as a doctor, I had been trained to check for any possibilities. 

 

I lifted up her bloodstained shirt and was horrified by what I saw. There was a lengthwise scar along her abdomen, jagged. Like it had been stitched. 

 

 _Of course._ Y/N's healing abilities had been suppressed inside that HYDRA facility, kept in check with the gaseous inhibitors in the air of her cell. She couldn't _heal,_ that's why they stitched her. 

 

As I uncovered more of her, I found more scars. One running along her sternum. One on the left side of her hipbone. And the worst of all, a scar that ran lengthwise along her spine. 

 

It brought tears to my eyes. They had used her like an _animal_ for their experiments. I was sure that these scars were signs that they had taken much more than just blood from Y/N. Pleural fluid from her lungs, cerebrospinal fluid from her spinal cord, bone marrow from her bones, synovial fluid from her joints and pericardial fluid from her heart. They had _violated_ her.

 

They had brought her in to experiment on her for her healing ability. They had hoped to replicate it, I was almost certain of it. 

 

I lay Y/N down on the bed and covered her with a blanket. 

 

_My sweet girl. What have they done to you?_

 

The sound of the arrival of the Avenger's quinjet alerted me. I had called Stark and told him to return, with the full team. _Immediately._ I told them that I had found her. 

 

Frantic footsteps could be heard outside. Then the door to her room slammed open. 

 

Barnes, Rogers and Stark were the first to arrive. 

 

"Y/N," Barnes rushed to her side. "What happened to her?" he asked me. 

 

I explained my suspicions to them. Then I showed them the scars that Y/N bore. 

 

Barnes looked angry. The Captain looked worried. 

 

"You're right, Stephen. They took her to conduct experiments on her. Thank god you rescued her in time, she wouldn't have survived it," Stark said. 

 

"They _mutilated_ her!" Barnes said, angrily. "I'm going to _kill_ them. All of them." 

 

"I killed Grant Ward," I told the men. "Rumlow escaped, yet again." 

 

"We'll find him," Captain said. 

"Rumlow was planning to rape her, as if conducting experiments on her body parts wasn't enough," I told him, staring at him right in the eyes. He looked _horrified._  

He _needed_ to know what she went though there. Perhaps it would deflate his ego a little.  

 _"Thank you,_ Doctor Strange," he said. "Thank you for rescuing her. Just in time. And I'm _really_ sorry for my behavior." 

 

I looked at him, warily. "Well, I did it for _her._ And no one else." 

 

I turned to Stark. "You need to contact Helen Cho. Her Cradle will be able to tell us exactly what they took from Y/N. That should help us deduce the _'why'_ of it." 

 

He nodded. "I'm on it," he said, leaving the room. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What happened to the Reader is similar to what Werner Reinhardt did to Jiaying (Skye/Daisy Johnson's mother) in Agents of SHIELD. 
> 
> Thoughts?


	163. X

Bucky's POV 

 

"Do we have _any_ news of Rumlow's whereabouts?" Steve asked Fury.

 

"Nothing yet," he answered, fidgeting with the patch in his eye. "Hill is on it. She'll let you know the moment she finds _anything._ How's Y/N?" 

 

"She's in the Cradle," I replied, leaning back in my chair. 

 

"She's been in the Cradle for almost a full day now," Steve added. "Doctor Cho says that it is necessary to boost her self healing abilities." 

 

"And why did HYDRA take her? Any idea?" Fury asked. 

 

Just then, Strange walked into the room. "The doctors at the facility were planning to perform a complete vivisection on Y/N," he said. "I went through their files."  

 

 

"They had already begun the process of extracting her body fluids. Cerebrospinal fluid, bone marrow, blood... Had I been a little late, they would have opened her up completely, taking out her organs. For _experimental purposes,"_ Strange said, sitting down in one of the empty chairs. 

 

I felt a wave of nausea and looked at Steve. He looked stricken. 

 

"But _why?"_ he asked. 

 

"Because Y/N is the one of the only three Enhanced individuals, in recent times, who have managed to demonstrate self healing at such an accelerated rate. First known individual, is James Logan, born James Howlett, also known as Wolverine. The second one was Calvin Johnson's wife, Jiaying, the mother of Daisy Johnson. And Y/N is the third such individual. Her abilities put her on HYDRA's radar," Strange explained. _"Especially_ after she saved Captain Rogers' life in the field." 

 

"That explains it," Fury murmured thoughtfully, consulting the files that Strange had given him. 

 

"We have to keep Y/N safe," Fury said. "HYDRA is after her, because she's the most vulnerable. Jiaying is dead and as far as I've heard, every HYDRA mission to capture Wolverine has resulted in failure." 

 

"They will be after her," I said, looking at Steve. I couldn't stand to see her get hurt again. She was already disturbed, after Sharon's pregnancy. And the fact that she couldn't have children had affected her deeply. Her behavior of late was evidence of it. And now HYDRA was on her case. 

 

"What do you suggest?" Fury asked, his question directed toward Strange. 

 

"We shouldn't make any decisions on Y/N's behalf," he replied, looking at me and Steve. "However, purely for consultation purposes, I've asked one of my old friends to come here. I want him to meet Y/N, since his powers and hers are alike. He should be able to help. As a mentor and a guide for her." 

 

"Who is it?" I asked. 

 

Just then, FRIDAY's voice rang out. "Doctor Strange, your friend is here. Shall I let him in?" 

 

"Yes, _please,"_ he replied. 

 

The door opened and an old, bald man on a wheelchair came inside. 

 

Fury stood up and rushed forward to greet the man. _"Professor!_ I didn't know you were coming!" 

They shook hands. 

 

"It's good to see you, Nick," the old man said. 

 

"Gentlemen," Strange said, shaking the man's hand while addressing us. "This is Professor Charles Xavier." 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Think Patrick Stewart's Professor X. Not James McAvoy, as much as I love him, his Xavier is too young for the timeline.
> 
> Thoughts?


	164. Seek

Steve's POV 

 

Bucky and I walked into the room where the Cradle had been installed. Strange and Professor X (that's what he insisted that we call him), were already present there. 

 

Strange was standing near the foot of the Cradle, his arms folded as he watched the Professor work on Y/N. 

 

The old man was leaning toward Y/N, sitting near the other end of the Cradle. His hands were placed a few milimeters above Y/N's head, not touching,barely brushing the skin. His eyes were closed, a look of _intense_ concentration on his face. 

 

 _Don't worry, Steve_ , his voice rang out in my head. _I'm just going through her mind._

 

Bucky and I looked at each other. And we waited, silently. 

 

A few minutes later, the Professor opened his eyes, removing his hands and leaning back in his wheelchair. 

 

"What's the verdict, Charles?" Strange asked him. 

 

Professor looked at him, a frown appearing on his features. "She's in a state of turmoil. Her powers, she has acquired formidable control over them. But she hasn't tapped into her entire potential. Not _yet._ She's still struggling with the trauma of losing her ability to have children.... And the fact that one of her lovers has conceived a child with _another_ woman," he said, looking directly at me. 

 

I flinched at the intensity of his gaze. "There's anger inside her, yes. And there is sorrow. Sadness. _Despair._ She blames herself for not being able to give you both children and she knows how much you wanted them..." he said, looking at Bucky and me. 

 

"We've told her countless times that it _doesn't_ matter. _She's_ our first priority. Children, whether she can have them or not, that matter is of secondary importance," Bucky said. 

 

Professor gave him a wry smile. "She blames _herself,_ nevertheless... Her trauma, her anger and her sorrow are keeping her from attaining her fullest potential. They're distracting her. If she channels her energy, _truly_ focuses, why, her powers might even surpass mine one day!" 

 

"I had the _exact_ same feeling," Strange said, smiling at the Professor. 

 

"It is _uncanny,"_ the Professor murmured, placing his hand gently on her forehead. "She reminds me of one of my students... She was _just_ like Y/N here. Scared. Depressed. Doubtful of her own abilities. But once she overcame her inhibitions, she _soared_ through the skies... Like a _Phoenix..."_ he said, trailing off, his eyes distant. As if he was reminiscing. 

 

"I know who you're talking about..." Strange said. "She-" 

 

"She passed away. There was an incident at Alcatraz," the Professor said, snapping out of his memories. 

 

"Her powers have more of a psionic origin than mystic. That's why I called you in, Charles," Strange said. "You're the leading authority in that field." 

 

"You did the right thing, Stephen," Professor said, smiling at him. "I had sensed her birth when she underwent Terrigenesis. But I was hesitant to intervene. I'm glad you called me." 

 

"So what is our plan of action now?" I asked. 

 

"The 'plan of action', Steve, will be decided by Y/N here," Professor said, looking at her fondly, an almost fatherly expression on his face. "I will be _honored_ to guide her and help her achieve her fullest potential, should she decide to seek my help..." 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	165. Hospital

Reader's POV 

 

I was propped up against a stack of pillows, a tray of wholly _unappetizing_ hospital food on my lap. There were a few IVs running in each of my forearms, and I was still hooked to machines that monitored my vitals. 

 

With my plastic fork, I moved a piece of broccoli around my plate. 

 

 _"Eat,_ Y/N," Bucky said, noticing my lack of appetite. "You need to eat." 

 

I looked at him, making my best possible version of puppy eyes at him. "Bucky, please. I've been eating my vegetables for days..." I whined. "I'm _bored!"_  

 

Steve sighed. "Then what do you want?" he asked. 

 

"I want a Quarter Pounder, with cheese," I said, my mouth already watering at the thought. "With an extra large side of fries and chocolate milkshake." 

 

Both of them chuckled. "Not a chance," Steve said. "You need to eat healthy, Y/N." 

 

"I know," I sighed dramatically, forking the broccoli into my mouth. _"Yummm...."_ I said, sarcastically. 

 

"Good girl," Bucky said, patting me on the head. 

 

I rolled my eyes at him. 

 

Just then, the door to my room opened and Professor X came in, the quiet whirring of his wheelchair wheels distracting me. 

 

"Good afternoon, Y/N," he said, smiling warmly. 

 

"Hello, Professor," I said, greeting him. 

 

"How are you feeling?" he asked me. 

 

I chuckled. "I think you already know how I'm feeling, Professor," I said, tapping my temple with two fingers, mimicking him. 

 

He laughed. "Yes, your vitals look promising. And they have shifted you to solid food," he said, pointing at my tray of boiled broccoli and carrots. I grimaced. 

 

"Not exactly the solid food I'm craving, Professor..." I admitted. 

 

He smiled knowingly. "Well, it was a real pleasure meeting you, Y/N," he said. 

 

"You're leaving?" I asked. _"Already?"_  

 

"Yes, unfortunately I cannot stay for too long. I'm returning to the Institute, but I would love it if you came to visit me sometime," he said. 

 

We shook hands. 

 

"I will definitely be visiting, Professor," I said, smiling at him. 

 

 _I'm counting on it_ , he spoke in my mind. 

 

 _You'll see me sooner than you expect, Professor,_ I replied, looking at him meaningfully. 

 

He nodded. Turning his wheelchair around, I watched as he went out of the room. 

 

"So I assume that you're going to the Institute?" Bucky asked, as soon as the Professor left. 

 

 _"Yes,_ Bucky," I said, leaning back against my pillows, running a hand over my face. 

 

I was so _tired._ And I didn't want to get involved in a lengthy discussion about my feelings. At least not now. 

 

The bed dipped when Steve sat down, near my feet. "I was hoping we could spend some time together..." he said, meekly. 

 

A wild, derisive laugh escaped me. Steve looked bewildered. "Go spend time with Sharon," I said.

 

"Y/N, please, let's not do this now-" 

 

"Steve, you know something?" I said, interrupting him. "I thought I could love you, you know? I thought I could make this work... Even after the whole pregnancy thing with Sharon. But I just... I just _can't._ I don't have the strength to share you..." I said, closing my eyes. 

 

"First it was Peggy... I dealt with it. Then Sharon, I mean... This is _too much!"_ I said. "Also... I have a confession to make." 

 

"What is it?" Bucky asked me. 

 

"I'm having serious second thoughts about our... our _arrangement._ I don't think its working out..." I said. 

 

 _"Don't..._ Don't say that," Steve said, placing his  hand on mine. I pulled it away from him. "I love you, Y/N." 

 

"I'm going to the Institute. I mean, I will at some point," I said, ignoring him. "But before that I want to spend some time at Kamar - Taj. With Stephen." 

 

"I'm coming with you," Bucky said, in a tone that rang with finality. 

 

"I... I... I, uh," Steve began. But I already knew where this was going. 

 

"You stay with Sharon," I said. "She needs you. Your...your _son_ needs you..." 

 

"Y/N, please..." Steve said. "Just listen..." 

 

"No, _you_ listen, Steve!" I said, my voice rising to a scream. "I love you! I love you and Bucky... So much. I need to get away from you because I _can't stand it_ when you are with Sharon. I physically _can't_ stand it! And I know you have responsiblities, of being a father, of caring for Sharon, the woman who is pregnant with your child! But I don't have it in me, to stay around, watching you care for her. I love you and it _hurts_ me...." I said, trying to put into words what I had been feeling for the past few weeks. 

 

Steve's eyes were filled with hurt. Mirroring mine. 

"I'm sorry, Y/N.... I really am. I love you too," he said, taking my hand in his again. "I won't be selfish... I won't keep you. Not when the current situation hurts you so much." 

 

"I don't want to stay here, at least for the duration of her pregnancy," I said. I leaned back, closing my eyes, wiping a single tear that escaped. 

 

"Okay," Steve said, placing a kiss on my forehead. 

 

"I love you..." I said to him. "But I can't be here." 

 

"I understand," he murmured, before he and Bucky walked out of my room. 

* * *

 

I sat there for I don't know for how long. Then the door opened again. 

 

"Man, there was a _crazy_ rush out there," Stephen said, walking in, his cape trailing behind him. In his hand he had a paper bag with the McDonald's logo on it. He placed it on the table beside my bed. 

 

The smell of it was enough to make my stomach growl. 

 

"You _didn't..."_ I gasped, my face breaking into a wild grin. 

 

"I _did,"_ he winked at me.

 

I grabbed the bag and inside was a Quarter Pounder, with cheese for sure. And a side of fries. 

 

"You remembered the milkshake too..." I murmured, looking up at him. "You're the _best!"_  

 

He laughed. "I know I am, darling. Just be sure that Rogers and Barnes don't catch you eating this," he said, placing a kiss on my forehead, before walking out of the room. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	166. The Diary Of Stephen Strange: Entry 1

_12th October 2016_

 

_All consuming love. I **finally** know what it feels like. I had assumed that I had known what love felt like, **real** love, I mean. But I was so wrong..._

 

_Y/N. She's changed the meaning of 'love' for me. There's pain in love, that's true. But its a bittersweet pain. The kind of pain that feels good, you know?_

_It all began when I met her. She was nervous, yet her eyes were alight with curiosity. I knew that very instant that she was going to play a special part in my life. Beautiful. Innocent. Equal parts awkwardness and grace. Equal parts shyness and mischief. I could see it all in her eyes._

 

_I slipped into her mind, right when we had begun training. And I found a broken little girl. She had grown up with an abusive father, and after her mother's death, when she had been five years old, her father's temper just became worse. He used to hurt her. Beat her, just for the fun of it. True relief came for her when she was sent to live with her grandfather, away from her sadistic, psychotic father._

 

_Her grandfather became her world, someone who loved her and made her life worth living. Filling it with wonderful memories. Fishing trips, picnics. He encouraged her to educate herself. She found her calling in the field of science... Fulfilling her grandfather's dream of seeing her attend a prestigious institute, qualifying with the highest honors._

 

_And then she joined SHIELD, and around the same time, she lost her grandfather. The loss devastated her and she immersed herself in her work in the laboratory, rising through the ranks, until she was working alongside Tony Stark and Bruce Banner. And then she met Steve Rogers. Who introduced her to Bucky Barnes. And the rest was history..._

 

_How do I know all this? Because she let me inside her mind. The level of intimacy she shares with me is far beyond that which she has with her soldiers. Our connection is beyond blood and flesh. I know her soul... She saved my life. She gave me life. Without hesitation. In today's cruel, selfish world, such a quality is **rare.**  _

 

_And to me, she's perfect. Her stubbornness. Her anger. Her tears. Her laughter. Her joy. Her desire. Her rage. Her adamance. Her smiles. They're all perfect, in my eyes._

 

_I just wish that someday she's able to see herself through my eyes. Then she'll know how **precious** she is to me._

 

_'We accept the love we think we deserve.' That's what I had read somewhere. And Y/N, she deserves more. She's trying so hard to make things work with Steve. I can see that. She loves him. A **lot.** But the pregnancy with Sharon Carter, it is like a thorn in her side. A constant reminder of Steve's infidelity. It has soured her heart to his love... _

 

_She loves Bucky. With all her heart. She understands him in a way that no one else, not even his best friend, Steve, can. And that's what has kept their relationship intact. Their utter and **complete** loyalty to each other. _

 

_Which brings me to my own dilemma. I have seen **my future** in her eyes. I know how life will be, if she is by my side. I want to give her a fresh start. A chance to recover. To finally heal her scars, the old ones and the new. I want to love her, to take care of her. To protect her. I'm gravitated towards her like a moth to a flame. But I'm **afraid...**  _

 

_Afraid that the initiation if this relationship will come at a cost. A cost that I don't know if Y/N is willing to pay. It feels like paradise, every time I've kissed her. And it takes me **every** shred of my self control to stop myself from going further. _

 

_But I don't want her to regret anything. I want it to happen for the **right** reasons... I won't be able to bear seeing regret and doubt in her eyes. That's why I'm holding back. All because I'm **afraid.**  _

 

_Stark had once told me that once you **truly** fall in love with a woman, you're screwed. **Completely.**  _

 

_And guess what? **I am.**_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	167. Situation

Reader's POV 

 

"I'm driving to Westchester tomorrow morning," I told Bucky and Steve as I sipped my coffee carefully. I had been finally discharged from that hellhole of a hospital (exaggeration, not _really_ a hellhole). But the food was terrible. And at least I wasn't hooked to those IVs anymore! 

 

"Absolutely _not,"_ Bucky said. 

 

 _"Why?"_ I asked, raising my brows. "I thought we had an agreement that I was going?" I asked. 

 

He exchanged glances with Steve. 

 

 _"Yes,_ doll, you can go to the X- Mansion," Bucky said, patiently. "But not _yet._ You need to rest. You just got out of the hospital!" 

 

 _"Fine,"_ I acquiesced, leaning my head back against the couch's headrest. There was no use arguing with him. Or Steve. "I have a confession to make, though..." I began, tentatively. 

 

Steve looked at me, worried. "What is it?" 

 

Now this had been something that was bothering me for a while. And when the three of us had begun our relationship, we had made a pact that we were going to be totally and _completely_ honest with each other. So...

 

"I kissed Stephen..." I said. 

 

"You _what?!?!?"_ Steve asked, eyes wide like saucers. 

 

Bucky didn't look surprised. He didn't even look upset. "I kind of knew it..." 

 

It was my turn to be surprised. _"How?"_ I asked. 

 

"Doll, come on. I'm not an idiot," he began. "I've always known that there was an attraction between the two of you. And you two have been through a lot of shit together... These _things...happen._ I get that." 

 

I stared at him. Was this man _real?_ He wasn't even _angry?_  

 

"You're not mad?" I asked him. 

 

He scoffed. "Y/N, listen to me. I'm the _last_ person who's going to judge you, okay? I mean, look at me! I was an assassin for seventy years, killing innocents left, right and center. I was a total basket case when you found me! And you didn't judge me, not even for one second! So I'm not going to hold a few kisses against you..." he said, shrugging. 

 

_What good had I done in a previous life to deserve this man?_

 

"But-" Steve began. But Bucky cut him off. 

 

 _"Oho,_ Stevie! Don't go telling her that this is wrong, okay? You went and _impregnated_ another woman, remember? You can't hold a kiss against Y/N here. Considering all the circumstances, Y/N has been holding herself up pretty well. Except for the Asgardian booze," he said, looking at me sternly. "Now _that,_ is unhealthy." 

 

I stared at him, in disbelief and wonder. He wasn't angry. Not even upset. _Nothing. Zilch._  

 

His face turned serious and he leaned forwards. "Answer me this, Y/N," he said. "Do you love me? Be honest..." 

 

"I love you with all my heart, Bucky..." I said. It was the _truth._  

 

"That settles it for me," he said simply, looking satisfied. He got up, walking to the fridge to grab a bottle of beer. 

 

"You don't find _any_ of this unusual?," I asked him. I was still unable to believe that he wasn't affected by this piece of news. Even after skimming through his mind, I found nothing. _No_ hurt. _No_ surprise. 

 

He popped the lid off the glass bottle with his metal hand. Taking a sip, he chucked. "Doll, this whole situation, the three of us, our relationship, our circumstances, _nothing_ is usual. Believe me, I'm not holding _anything_ against you..." 

 

"Neither am I," Steve murmured. 

 

Bucky laughed. "You're not in a position to, punk. Getting Sharon Carter pregnant... What the _fuck_ were you thinking?"

 

Steve ran a hand over his face. "Honestly? I don't know..." he said. 

 

We all fell silent for a moment. 

 

Then, I burst out laughing. Bucky followed. 

 

I laughed because there was nothing else to do. My tears had been exhausted. 

 

So why not have a laugh at this messed up situation instead? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	168. Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is ill. Here's how she deals with it.

Reader's POV 

 

I woke up with a _horrible_ headache. Every single muscle in my body was aching and sore. And I was burning up. 

 

Grabbing the thermometer from my bedside table drawer, I put it in my mouth, under my tongue. I lay there, waiting for the designated time, before pulling it out to check the temperature. 

 

104 F

 

_Well, fuck me, huh?_

 

"FRIDAY?" I croaked out. My throat was sore and scratchy. 

 

"Yes, Miss Y/N?" the AI asked me. 

 

"Could you have some paracetamol sent up, please? I have a fever..." 

 

"Absolutely," she replied. 

 

"Thanks. Hey, by the way, do you know where Bucky and Steve are? I wanted to talk to them..." 

 

"Mr. Barnes is training with Mr. Wilson. And Captain Rogers is in company of Miss Carter," she replied. 

 

"Is that so?" I said, before clearing my throat. My voice was so scratchy. 

 

I looked at the time. It was 10 am. 

 

_Wonderful. Getting cozy with Miss Carter, aren't we?_

 

Pushing myself off the bed, I walked to the fridge, where I had stashed a few bottles of Asgardian liquor that I had managed to sneak away from Thor. It was child's play, really, tricking him. And the adorable oaf never kept track of the number his bottles. 

 

 _Thanks, Thor,_ I said mentally, opening the bottle and taking a swig straight from it. 

 

_10 am and getting drunk. On a fever. What else is new?_

 

"Miss Y/N, you're ill, and I consider it my duty to remind you how inappropriate it is for you to be drinking in your condition..." FRIDAY said. I felt a strange swell of emotion for the AI. 

 

But I drowned it down with another healthy gulp of the fiery liquor. "And you _have don_ e your duty, FRIDAY. Leave the rest to me..." 

 

"Very well, Miss," she replied. 

 

* * *

 

 

I spent a few hours alone in my room, drinking. Hell, it was the best thing I could do, considering the circumstances. I had been a subject of human experimentation a week ago. My fiancé, who's ring I still wore on my finger had gotten another girl pregnant on a whim. And I could never have children of my own... 

 

Also, I _missed_ Jaime and Stephanie. It had been a while since I had met them last. It was only and _only_ in their presence that I felt genuinely and completely happy. _My daughters._  

 

I sighed and took another sip from the bottle in my hand. I had made quite a dent in it, finished it halfway. Actually, a little _more_ than halfway. But, safe to say, I was fairly buzzed. 

 

Flipping through the pages of Cosmopolitan, I found a quiz. You know, those boyfriend related quizzes. It made me snort, but I began to answer the questions nevertheless, scoring myself. 

 

I was almost finished with the exercise when I heard the door open, and Bucky and Steve's voices wafted in. 

 

_Oh, great._

 

I quickly hid the bottle under my bed and snuggled back under the blankets. 

 

"Hey, Y/N," Bucky said, walking in. "Are you alright? You didn't show for breakfast..." 

 

"I'm fine..." I winced internally at how hoarse my voice sounded. The sore throat was killing me. 

"How was training?" 

 

Bucky laughed. It was a sound that always brought a smile to my face. "Kicked Sam's ass, per usual." 

 

I weakly raised my hand in a thumbs up sign. 

 

"I need a shower," he said, walking into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. Leaving me alone with Steve. 

 

_How wonderful._

 

"So? How's Sharon doing?" I asked, for the sake of politeness. _She could rot in hell for all I cared._

 

Steve looked at me quietly. Silently. Then he sighed, running a hand over his face. "You're drunk." 

 

"No, I'm not," I replied lamely. 

 

"Yes you are!" he said, reaching down under the bed and pulling out the bottle I had hidden there. 

 

I lunged for it. _"Give_ it to me!" I shrieked, pulling it out of his hands, hugging it possessively. 

 

When my hand touched his during the sudden movement, his eyes widened. "You have a fever!" he said, reaching out to place his hand on my forehead. "You're burning up!" he exclaimed. "And you're _drinking?!?!?"_  

 

I swatted his hand away. "Don't worry your pretty, tight ass about it, Stevie," I said, giggling drunkenly. "Go and cuddle up to Sharon." 

 

He looked pained. "What are you _doing_ to yourself, Y/N?" he said. 

 

I felt a sudden surge of tears sting my eyes at the way he asked that question. The desperation in his voice. Before I could reply, there was a knock on the door. 

 

"Y/N? Can I come in?" Stephen's voice came. 

 

"Yeah, come in," Steve replied, before I could. 

 

The door opened and Stephen walked in. A small bouquet of daisies in his hand. "I sensed that you were unwell." He handed me the flowers.

"Oh, _Jesus,"_ I heard Steve mutter under his breath, rolling his eyes. I ignored him. 

 

 _"Awwww..._ Thank you," I said, placing the bouquet on my bedside table. 

 

Stephen smiled wryly. "You're drinking pretty hard, huh?" 

 

 _"Please,_ talk some sense into her," Steve said to Stephen. "She won't listen to me, at least she'll listen to you..." 

 

I placed my head on the pillow, tuning out both their voices. The liquor and the fever had made me quite tired. And drowsy. 

 

I needed a little sleep. 

 

And I wasn't in a mood for an intervention style lecture. 

 

Closing my eyes, before either of them could say anything to me, I dozed off. 

 

 

 

 

 


	169. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader experiments

Reader's POV 

 

FRIDAY's voice woke me up from my fever induced slumber that evening. Apparently Fury had called an urgent meeting for all Avengers. In the conference room. 

 

Dragging myself out of bed, I ran a comb through my hair and changed into something a little more presentable before making my way to the conference room. 

 

* * *

 

 

"Right," Fury began, calling for our attention. Everyone fell silent. "There's been a tip off from my source, that Brock Rumlow was sighted in Budapest." 

 

"What's he doing there?" Natasha asked. 

 

"Intel says that he's there to make a few deals with weapon contractors and also plans to recruit mercenaries for HYDRA." 

 

"We should leave _immediately_ ," Bucky said, leaning forwards in his chair. I could almost taste the desperation in the air, how _badly_ he wanted to get his hands on Rumlow. 

 

"Well, the meeting won't be taking place until next week, and as such, I don't want any of you to stage an attack on them." 

 

"Why not?" Clint asked. 

 

"Because Rumlow will be _expecting_ a strike from you. Especially after what happened with Y/N. I think we need to lie low this time..." 

 

The room erupted in arguments. 

 

My head was throbbing with pain. And the fever wasn't helping either. I tuned out everyone's voices, retreating into my own mind...

 

Suddenly, I had an idea. 

 

I had wanted to try this for a _very_ long time. And now since everyone had assembled, I had plenty of people I could practice on. 

 

_Who first?_

 

I turned my attention to Sharon who was sitting beside Steve. She was looking at Steve with a look of _sickening_ adoration as he spoke to Fury. 

 

"We need to utilize _every_ opportunity we can get to capture Rumlow," Steve said angrily. 

 

Staring at Sharon, I concentrated. Penetrating the relatively feeble defenses of her mind, I began my work. 

 

_Let's see if you can handle this, Carter._

 

I sent a wave of pain at her. Into her mind. 

 

The reaction was _instantaneous._  

 

She gasped loudly, her hand coming down on the table, fingers clenching _hard._ Her face was contorted.

 

The room fell silent. 

 

"Are you alright, Carter?" Fury asked her. 

 

 _No, she's not._ I suppressed a chuckle. 

 

I sent more pain, a _higher_ dosage, if you would. _Directly_ at her, my gaze fixing on her. 

 

She cried out, doubling over in her chair. 

 

"Sharon!" Steve said, his hand clutching at her shoulder. 

 

_Oh, poor Stevie. So worried about the mother of his child. You're next..._

 

I turned my attention to him. Doubling the pain, I sent it _rushing_ at him.

 

"Shit!" he gasped, his face turning into a grimace. It gave me a savage sense of pleasure, seeing him suffer. I don't know why... 

 

Sharon was beginning to recover. I decided to spare her...

 

"What's happening here?" Fury asked, looking thoroughly confused. 

 

His voice made my attention snap. It released Steve from my grip. I pulled out of his mind. 

 

 _"Steve._ What's wrong?" Natasha asked. 

 

"I... I don't know," Steve said, gasping. "I was alright one moment. And the next, I was feeling this sudden, _unbearable_ pain..." 

 

Wanda turned to look at me. Her eyes widened with realization. I locked eyes with her. 

 

_What are you **doing,** Y/N? _

 

I felt annoyed at her. I instantly blocked her from my mind. But I was curious. I hadn't done this to a fellow telepath. 

 

 _Not yet_. 

 

I summoned my energy and concentrated, my eyes locked with Wanda's. 

 

She cried out. 

 

The force of my power was such that she fell down from her chair, thrashing on the ground, her hands clutching at her hair. 

 

For a wild moment, I wanted to _laugh._ Seeing her like this. 

 

Vision and Pietro rushed to Wanda's side, kneeling down beside her. _"Wanda?_ Are you alright?" her brother asked. 

 

_A little more pain. Let's see how much you can take._

 

She screamed in response. 

 

Vision looked up, bewildered. 

 

"What's going on?" 

 

I decided to leave Wanda, and pulled out of her mind. 

 

She stopped screaming and thrashing, just lay there, gasping. 

 

Vision helped her sit up. "What happened?" he asked her, gently cradling her in his arms. 

 

She looked at me. And for an instant I was worried, that she was going to _tell_ what I did. 

 

Then I remembered that I was much, **_much_** more powerful than her. 

 

 _You don't know who did this..._ I told her mind, wiping out whatever suspicions she had about me from her mind. 

 

"I...I don't know..." she panted, looking thoroughly confused. 

 

"Well, there's something _clearly_ very wrong here. This meeting will be continued later. Everyone, dismissed." 

 

I suppressed a grin, watching as Vision and Pietro took Wanda away, supporting her. Everyone else also cleared out, muttering and whispering about how strange and weird it was...

 

I stayed seated where I was. 

 

 _Memory modification and emotional manipulation... Add that to your list of powers, Y/N,_ I told myself. 

 

Some part of me felt guilty, that I had hurt my teammates. But the larger part of me was _happy_ about this new discovery. 

 

 _You hurt them as an experiment, Y/N,_ I rationalized. _Its just practice._

 

This line of thought should have disturbed me. 

 

But it didn't. 

 

I was even more eager to meet Professor X now. 

 

Only _he_ would understand the power that was surging through me. 

 

I wanted to train. To see how _far_ I could go. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	170. The Diary Of Stephen Strange: Entry 2

_18 October 2016_

 

_Jamie and Stephanie._

 

_My **favorite** little girls. Well, apart from their mother, of course. _

 

_I loved spending time with those two. Such absolute angels they were._

 

_Innocent._

 

_Angelic._

 

_Cherubic._

 

_Those were the only words that came to my mind when I saw those two. They gave me **peace.** Their very presence was enough. _

 

_Jamie had dark brown hair, like her father, who she was named after. James Buchanan Barnes. While Stephanie's hair was the color of spun gold, again, from her father, Steven Grant Rogers._

 

_But the similarities to their respective fathers ended there. Their eyes, their faces, their nature, the girls had inherited from their mother, Y/N._

 

_The same stubbornness, the same curiosity. And the same ability to love unconditionally._

 

_I was touched by how quickly the girls had accepted me. 'Accepted' was an understatement._

 

_The little angels were forever asking me to visit them, their little souls calling to me **everyday.**  _

 

_'Uncle Stephen, are you free?'_

 

_'Can you come visit us, Uncle Stephen?'_

 

_Since I had put them under my protection, to keep them safe from demons and other malevolent supernatural entities, the girls and I had only grown closer._

 

_During my meditation hours, I made it a point to visit them. Everyday, if possible._

 

_And how delighted were they to see me! Their radiant, dazzling smiles were contagious. Their happiness was infectious. I couldn't help but smile every moment I was with them._

 

_"Uncle Stephen, do the magic! Do the magic!," they'd scream, clapping their chubby little hands together._

 

_And I would rain flowers on them. Levitate them in the air, making them fly. Conjure up fountains of water and watch them dance with them..._

 

_The sound of their laughter was music to my ears._

 

_But all too soon, I would have to leave them._

 

_**"Why** do you have to go?" they'd ask. The same question every time. The genuine sadness in their eyes wrenched at my heart. _

 

_But I would have to explain to them that other matters awaited me, back in the real world. "We'll miss you, Uncle Stephen," they'd say, bidding me farewell with a hug._

 

_And I would promise them each time, that I would come back soon._

 

_"Take care of mummy for us," they'd say, their little hands on my face, light as air._

 

_"I will, my loves," I'd promise, ruffling their hair._

 

_Returning to the real world was always difficult, but even more so after visiting ~~my~~ the girls. _

 

_I had begun to see them as my own daughters, in truth. So what if they weren't my own flesh and blood? The connection we shared was undeniable._

 

_I hadn't expected such a close bond to form between me and the girls..._

 

_But someone had rightly said, that real magic often came from unexpected places._

 

 

 

 


	171. Fight

Reader's POV

 

I was working with Tony in the lab, tinkering around with one of his suits, when Steve and Sharon walked in. 

 

"Hey, Tony," Steve said, smiling at him. 

 

"Hey, you two!" Tony said, a little too excitedly in my opinion. "How was the ultrasound?" 

 

"Oh, everything is going well," Sharon replied breezily. "The doctor said everything is fine. The baby is healthy." 

 

"I was a little scared, _especially_ after what happened in the conference room," Steve said. "But the baby is alright." 

 

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. Instead, I pushed my glasses up my nose and leafed through the papers on my desk. 

 

_Anything to distract myself._

 

Just then, Bucky walked in. 

 

"Hey, Stark," he said. "There's something wrong with my arm," he said, holding up his bionic arm for Tony to inspect. 

 

"There's something wrong with the alignment of the plates," Tony said, after examining Bucky's arm. "Fairly easy to fix, shouldn't be a problem, Frosty." 

 

"Thanks," Bucky replied, sitting down on the nearest stool, holding out his arm, while Tony went to fetch the required instruments for the repair work. "Hey, Y/N!" 

 

I winced. I had been _sort of_ hiding behind the lab desk, waiting for Steve and Sharon to leave. I didn't want to have a conversation with Sharon about her baby. And, I couldn't help the jealousy that came over me, seeing her with Steve. 

 

But Bucky had ruined all that by calling me out. _Literally._  

 

"Hi, Bucky," I replied, rather lamely, lifting my head up from where I was hiding behind my desk. 

 

"Y/N! I didn't know you were here!" Steve said, looking surprised. 

 

 _Yeah, no shit, Sherlock_.  

 

I shrugged, trying desperately to ignore how _good_ he looked. He had grown quite a scruff, and was dressed in a navy blue shirt, black trousers and a black coat. From his trip to Sharon's obstetrician, remember? 

 

"I was right here..." I said, pretending to write into my notebook, avoiding eye contact with Steve. 

 

Despite everything that had gone down between us, I missed him. I _missed_ Steve...

 

And I felt horrible for hurting him in the conference room, the way that I had. I will admit, it felt good, for a moment. _Yes,_ it was a moment of madness and I wanted him to feel a _fraction_ of the pain that I had felt... But seeing him hurt, knowing that I was the cause behind it, it made me feel horrible, the more I thought about it. 

 

"What's wrong?" Steve asked, his voice quiet, but making me jump nevertheless. 

 

I looked up at him. He had walked up to me, where I was sitting, leaning against the desk. 

 

His blue eyes were questioning. Even a little worried. 

 

"I....I'm sorry," I said. 

 

He looked confused. _Thoroughly._  

 

"For what?" he asked, his brows furrowing. 

 

 _I'm apologizing to you for what happened in the conference room_ , I wanted to scream at him. But I remained silent. 

 

Instead, I took his hand. "I'm _sorry,"_ I said, again, giving his hand a squeeze before releasing it. 

 

"Hey..." Steve said, leaning close, his eyes searching mine. "Is something wrong? You can tell me, Y/N. What's troubling you?" 

 

I shook my head, looking away from his brilliant blue eyes. "Its nothing..." I lied. 

 

He looked totally unconvinced, but he didn't say anything. 

 

"And voilà! We're _done!"_ Tony cried out, pulling away from Bucky's arm. "Move your arm, Frosty. How's the movement?" 

 

Bucky moved his arm experimentally, flexing and extending it. 

"Its better. _Much_ better," he replied, approval in his voice. "Thanks, Tony." 

 

"I aim to please, Barnes," Tony replied. "Now, _shoo!_ Y/N and I have some work to do. Everyone, who isn't Y/N and me, please vacate the lab." 

 

Steve turned to me. "Y/N, please, just _talk_ to me. I want to be able to help you..." he said, before walking out, with Bucky and Sharon. 

 

Bucky was still flexing his arm, as he left. I watched the three of them go, before Tony snapped his fingers in front of my face. 

"Earth to Y/N!" 

 

I swatted his hand, playfully. "Stop it, Stark!" I said, laughing. 

 

He laughed too. 

 

"Come on, kiddo, we have work to do. Stop lusting after Cap. On again, off again. Seriously, you two are worse than the teenagers these days," Tony said, putting away his instruments on the work station. 

 

 _"Shut up,_ Tony." 

 

He turned to me, all serious. "Listen, Y/N, 'cause I'm about to drop some pearls of wisdom here," he said, dramatically. 

 

I rolled my eyes. 

 

He ignored it. 

 

"Steve may have behaved like a douche canoe so far. But one thing is clear, he loves you." 

 

"I know that, Tony," I sighed. "But he got that girl pregnant!" 

 

"Y/N, listen... What you three have, that's _rare,_ okay? And I don't want you to give up on it so easily. Fight for him. Fight for _them._ Fight for your happiness," he said, ruffling my hair, just like he had always done. 

 

I smiled at him, lost in thought. But then, out of nowhere, I had an idea... 

 

 _"Tony?"_ I asked, in my sweetest voice. "Can I borrow a quinjet? _Please?"_  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	172. The Tables Have Turned

Reader's POV 

 

It was almost _too_ easy. 

 

I flew the borrowed quinjet to Budapest. Stealth mode on, so that no one could track me. Not even Tony. 

 

"Tony, I _promise,_ I'll be back really soon. I just have an urgent matter to attend to," I had told him. He was worried, understandably. But he acquiesced. 

 

Once I landed the plane in a deserted field, far outside the city, I switched off _all_ possible tracking devices, utilizing the latest stealth technology, courtesy of Stark Enterprises. 

 

All caution had been thrown to the wind. I was _alone._ And I was going to get him. 

 

It was uncharacteristic of me, but it felt _good,_ doing this alone. A strange form of madness was ruling over me. 

 

I was dressed in my suit, the one that Stephen had given me, when I got off the plane. It was late at night, almost 3 am.

 

Walking into the city, I used my telepathic abilities to track him. To isolate his thoughts was easy. And to find his location was _even_ easier. 

 

My mind was tingling, the energy _begging_ to flow through me. My powers took me to a decrepit residential building. It looked abandoned, located at the outskirts of the city. 

 

Climbing up the stairs, I reached his apartment, where his thoughts were clearer than ever before. He was inside. He was asleep. 

 

Sending a blast of energy at the door, I blew it off its hinges, crushing the wood to splinters. 

 

Walking in, I glanced around and there he was, lying on a mattress on the floor, his makeshift bed. Half asleep.

 

_Brock Rumlow._

 

Obviously, the sound of the door being blown had awoken him, and he was _just_ reaching for his gun, from underneath his pillow, when I used my powers to freeze his hand, stalling its movement. 

 

"Hello, Brock," I called out sweetly, smiling at him. 

 

I switched on the light, filling up the dark apartment with light, coming from the solitary bulb hanging above. It took him a few moments to adjust to the sudden light. 

 

 _"Wh-What?"_ he asked, groggily. 

 

I laughed. It was a cruel, bitter sound. Very unlike me. But it felt _good._  

 

And it was comical, seeing the tables turn, with _him_ being the vulnerable one this time. 

 

"I said _hello,_ Brock. Where are your manners?" I asked him, smiling. 

 

It took him a second, in his sleep addled state, to recognize me. "Kitten?" 

 

It was that nickname that did it. It sent a wave of white hot anger through me. I remembered everything so vividly. The miscarriage, the cage. 

 _Everything._  

 

With a blast of energy, I raised my hands, levitating him into the air, before slamming him _hard_ into the wall. It knocked the wind out of him. And he looked stunned.

 

It gave me a sense of pride. Hurting him. It felt _good._  

 

I kept him there, frozen and pinned against the wall. 

 

He was panting. Obviously in pain, he hadn't expected the force that I had hit him with. 

 

"You're... You're here to kill me?" he gasped out, looking at me, entirely vulnerable. 

 

I laughed, sending a wave of pain to attack his mind, making him writhe against the wall. His screams, hoarse, pained screams, they felt good. 

 

"S-Stop it!" he cried out. 

 

"Stop it!" I mimicked him, in a child-like, patronizing voice. Had _he_ stopped when I had asked him to? 

When I had _begged_ him to? 

 

His eyes bulged out as he screamed and thrashed, struggling against the pain I was sending his way. The same was I had done to Sharon and Steve and Wanda in the conference room... 

 

Once I felt like he had had enough for a while, I stopped, pulling out of his mind. But I kept him pinned firmly against the wall, locking him there with telekinetic bonds. 

 

He was gasping, sweating, his eyes displaying pure fear and terror. 

 

I walked up to him and gently touched his face. He flinched at the contact, whimpering, like the pathetic _dog_ he was. 

 

"I'm not here to kill you," I cooed, my voice almost soothing. "I'm here to _play_ with you." 

 

If he looked scared before, now he looked absolutely _terrified._  

 

I stroked his cheek. "You're coming with me, Brock. And we're going to have _so much fun_ together," I said, sending a wave of pain at him. 

 

His screams echoed through the desolate, abandoned building.  

 

It felt so peaceful, the _sweetness_ of revenge. 

 

It was all too _easy..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	173. Unprecedented

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BLOOD AND GORE AHEAD.

Bucky's POV 

 

"Is this about Budapest _again?"_ Natasha asked, as soon as she walked into the conference room. 

 

It was 11 pm and Fury had frantically called every single Avenger present in the Tower to the main conference room. By the sound of his voice, we all knew something serious had happened. 

 

 _"Yes,_ Natasha. Sit down," Fury replied, running a hand over his face. "Right, so everyone's here?" he asked, looking at all of us. 

 

"Everyone except Y/N," Tony began. "She's-" 

 

"Gone to visit her ailing grandmother," Fury interrupted him. "Yes, I know, Tony. She requested for a leave from me." 

 

Steve and I looked at each other from across the table. 

 

_Her grandmother was sick? This was new..._

 

"Anyway," Fury said, calling for our attention. "There's been havoc in Budapest." 

 

"What do you mean?" Clint asked. 

 

"The HYDRA meeting I had told you about?" Fury asked. "Its not going to happen. Turns out, everyone is dead." 

 

 _"What?"_ Steve asked, leaning forward, his eyes wide with shock. 

 

"You heard me, Steve," Fury said. "More than fifty HYDRA operatives, who had assembled for the meeting. They're dead. And so are the mercenaries and weapon contractors, who were going to be recruited." 

 

 _"Holy shit,"_ Sam said. 

 

"What does the intel say?" Natasha asked. "Who's responsible?" 

 

Fury sighed. "Your guess is as good as mine. I've been making calls all over the world. No one I know is involved in this."

 

"How were these operatives taken down? On such a large scale? Was it a bomb? What's the modus operandi?" Bruce asked. 

 

Fury snorted. He reached for a remote and pressed a button. Images popped up on the screen behind him. Everyone gasped. 

 

It made me nauseous, what I was seeing. Blood _everywhere._ On the floor, spattered on the walls. And there were bodies on the floor. So many of them. Dismembered arms and legs were littering the floor. 

 

Wanda clamped a hand over her mouth to stop herself from retching. 

 

"Turn it off," Steve commanded. 

 

Fury clicked a button and the images went away. "All bodies were dismembered. Then left to bleed out. _That_ was the modus operandi, Banner." 

 

 _"Shit,"_ Pietro said, looking horrified. 

 

"This kind of violence is unprecedented," Tony said, looking nauseous. "How many attackers?" 

 

"Here's where it gets _really_ interesting," Fury said, a wry smile appearing on his face. "Just one. One attacker." 

 

"Impossible!" Steve said, shocked. 

 

"It is the truth, Rogers. My source tells me only one, _single_ person was responsible for this carnage," Fury said. 

 

"Any identification? Description?" I asked. 

 

Fury shook his head. _"Nothing._ But my source has heard reports of a hooded figure leaving the site." 

 

Everyone fell silent. 

 

"This... This is pure _rage,"_ Tony added quietly. "And if there is a single person responsible for this, we _need_ to know who it is." 

 

 _"Exactly,"_ Fury said. "This person may or may not be an ally. But whoever it is, we all should be _very_ careful." 

 

"You said this person targeted HYDRA," Natasha said. "What about Brock Rumlow? He's dead too?" 

 

Fury shook his head. "No, he's missing." 

 

I felt a sudden chill. Brock Rumlow was _missing._ All these HYDRA operatives dead. And Y/N had taken off, all of a sudden. I had a _horrible_ feeling in the back of my mind. But I didn't want to believe it... _Not yet._

 

I looked at Steve. He had a similar, uneasy look on his face. 

 

"Where's Stephen Strange?" he asked suddenly. 

 

"He's at the Sanctum," Fury said. "But if you think he's responsible for it-" 

 

"No, I _know_ he's not responsible for it," Steve cut him off mid sentence. He looked at me. "Its just that.... We might need his help." 

 

I nodded. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are we liking the dark side? Are we not?   
> Thoughts?


	174. Plaything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BLOOD, GORE AND TORTURE AHEAD.

Reader's POV 

 

In the twenty four hours I had spent with Brock Rumlow, one thing became abundantly clear: he was _just_ like a high school bully. 

 

Tough on the surface, weak inside. 

 

"I'm a high ranking HYDRA operative, kitten. I've dealt with worse situations like this before," he had boasted, sitting locked up with my telekinetic bonds on the floor. 

 

It made me laugh. His empty threats. He was _terrified_ in reality. One glimpse into his mind and I knew that he was scared. 

 

He just wanted to put up a good show. For his pride. 

 

 _Fair enough,_ I thought. _I'm going to break you very soon._

 

"Here are the rules of our game," I said, sitting down cross legged on the floor in front of him. With a wave of my hand, I levitated a box cutter (that I had packed with me, of course), into the air and sent it flying at him. The blade stopped in the air just millimeters away from the skin of his arm. 

 

"Your empty threats won't work on m-" his sentence was cut off with a wince as I pressed the blade deep into his flesh. 

 

"I'm _speaking,_ Brock. Manners," I said, sweetly, watching his blood come rushing out of the wound, running down his arm. 

 

With a flick of my wrist, I dragged the blade down, deeper into his flesh, creating a deep, long cut. He was gasping, thrashing, struggling. 

 

It was so _amusing,_ watching him fight. But I kept him frozen in place, bound with the invisible bonds that my mind had cast. 

 

Once the cut was satisfactorily wide, I drew the blade out, making it fly across the room, to rest on my hand. 

 

"You little bitch," he muttered, his face pained. 

 

I grinned at him.

 

"As I was saying," I said, getting up from the floor, blade in hand. "I'm going to hurt you, that's obvious." 

 

I let him bleed in silence, _waiting,_ watching his precious blood flow down his arm. A few minutes later, when I became bored, I walked over to him and placed my hand on his cut. He winced. 

 

"See, the thing is," I said, concentrating, keeping my eyes on him. "I'm going to cut you. Make you bleed. Give you pain. And _then...I'm_ going to heal you." 

 

He gasped as I withdrew my hand, and I watched as his flesh healed itself. "And then I'm going to hurt you _all over_ again," I said. 

 

He smiled savagely. "Hurt me all you want, little slut. I'll last longer that you expect." 

 

"I'm counting on it," I replied, making the blade press into his leg. 

* * *

 

And it went on and on, for hours. I hurt him with the box cutter, made him bleed. Watched. And then I healed him. Before repeating the process all over again. 

 

With the cutter, I carved patterns into his arms, legs, chest, neck, back. His blood pooled up on the floor, staining his tattered clothes. 

 

And with every cut, his false bravado faded away. He went from boasting to _begging._ From sneering to _screaming._  

 

And it only made me laugh. 

 

I almost wished that my team members could see Brock Rumlow now. A weak, whimpering mess slumped on the floor. Flailing around in a pool of his own blood. 

 

Begging for mercy. 

 

"Stop it... _Please...._ Just stop it..." he whimpered, his face pale, tears of pain staining his cheeks. His skin and flesh had healed, but the pain remained. 

 

I circled around him, admiring the patchwork of angry red scars I had created. 

 

"I don't want to stop..." I said, hooking a finger under his chin, raising his gaze to mine. 

 

"P-Please..." he stuttered. "I'll do anything!" 

 

"I'm sure you will," I smiled, dropping down the box cutter on the floor. 

 

He looked relieved. 

 

I sat down on the floor. It was so funny, seeing his body language change. He actually thought I was done with him. 

 

"I'm bored..." I said, stretching out my legs in front of me. "Let's play a new game." 

 

He looked horrified. "N-No... _Please..."_  

 

"SHUT UP!" I screamed, sending a wave of pain at his mind. 

 

The reaction was instant. He cried out, every muscle in his body growing taut as I attacked his mind. 

 

"I'm going to hurt you, over and over. Until the pain makes you lose your _mind._ How's that for a plan, Brock?" I asked sweetly. "You did the same to Bucky. You made him lose his mind. You ruined my _life._ Its only fair that I ruin yours, huh?" 

 

He didn't reply. He couldn't reply. 

 

He only screamed...

 

I sent wave after wave of pain at him, channeling my pain into him. Bucky's pain into him. And for good measure, the pain that all his HYDRA colleagues felt, when I had torn their limbs apart with the sheer strength of my mind. 

 

_I'm going to hurt you, till you beg me to kill you, Rumlow. And then, if I'm feeling merciful, I'll tear you from limb to limb and leave you to bleed. Just like the rabid dog you are, you deserve a death like that..._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	175. Find

Steve's POV 

 

"She's _repelling_ me," Strange said, his brows furrowed in concentration. "She's blocking my powers. She's not letting me inside her mind. Usually, I'm receptive about what she feels and does, but she's keeping me out this time." 

 

I ran my hand over my face. 

 

_What are you doing, Y/N?_

 

"Try again," Bucky asked him, his voice insistent. 

 

"I've been trying for the past few hours, _non stop,_ Barnes," Strange replied tersely. 

 

"Its alright, Buck," I said. 

"Take rest, Doctor Strange." 

 

He looked at me, agitated. "I _cannot_ rest, Captain. As much as I know Y/N, she's going to kill Rumlow.  I managed a peek inside her mind initially, before she detected my presence and blocked me out. She's torturing him. Cutting him and healing him. And _repeating_ the cycle over and over again." 

 

"The healing, its not weakening her?" Bucky asked Strange. "I mean, she's fainted a few times when she tried to heal others. Aren't her powers supposed to drain each time she heals someone?" 

Strange shook his head. "No. She's not growing weak. Not as far as I've sensed it. Instead, she's growing stronger. Its almost like she's _feeding_ off of his pain." 

 

"This is _wrong,"_ I said, sighing. "She's venting out her anger. Her rage, I can understand that. But its wrong. Its unlike her..." 

 

"How can you say that its wrong, Steve?" Bucky asked, frowning. "He hurt her. She's taking her revenge. Plain and simple. Didn't _you_ have a similar urge to seek revenge when.... When HYDRA captured me and you thought I was dead?" 

 

I looked at him, at a loss for words. I had indeed gone on a sort of a rampage, ransacking every HYDRA facility I could find with the Howling Commandos, killing every HYDRA agent who stood in our way... All after Bucky's "death." 

 

It would be hypocrisy to judge her. Especially after what she had gone through. The loss of her-  _our_ children. The loss of the ability to ever bear children again...

 

"She's already shown us what she's capable of, with the HYDRA massacre in Budapest," Strange said. "She's already growing stronger than me, in terms of telepathy and telekinesis. I won't be able to stop her. Not alone. I simply _cannot_ penetrate her mind." 

 

"Who said anything about stopping her?" Bucky asked. "I'm all for her killing Rumlow. The man deserves it. I'm _not_ going to stop her." 

 

"Its not as simple as that, James," Strange said, worry lacing his voice. "I couldn't care less about Rumlow... I'm saying that Y/N, _our_ Y/N, she's changed. I sense a change in her... Its something I cannot put a finger on. But we need to intervene, before she ends up hurting _herself_ in this process. She could blow Rumlow to smithereens for all I care, but the effect this strange madness is having on her, that's what is terrifying me." 

 

"So what do you suggest, Doctor?" I asked him. 

 

He looked at me for a moment, thinking.

 

"We need to go to Westchester. Now," he replied.

 

* * *

 

Strange had teleported us to the X Mansion. 

"We will need the help of a _much_ stronger telepath," he told Xavier. "You have to help us, Charles." 

 

"I will help you, Stephen," the old man said. "But you should have sent her to me sooner. I had _told_ you that she was distressed. She's broken. And her power... Its unstable." 

 

Strange nodded. _"Yes,_ I remember everything you said. But please... Help us save her. Help us save her from _herself."_  

 

Xavier nodded. "Follow me," he said, the wheels of his wheelchair moving as he went out of the room. 

 

The three of us followed Xavier down a series of hallways, until we reached a tunnel, at the end of which was a vault-like door. The walls were made of metal. Was it titanium? 

 

"What _is_ this place?" Bucky asked, curious. 

 

"This," Xavier said, passing through a retina and fingerprint scanner, which made the vault door slide open. "This is Cerebro." 

 

I wanted to ask who or _what_ Cerebro was, but I was marveling the structure of the room. It appeared as if the room had no walls, no floor, no ceiling. The doorway extended forward, into a sort of a bridge, at the end of which sat a helmet, on a counter that had various valves and buttons. 

 

"This will help me find Y/N," Xavier said, wheelchair moving forward, until he reached the counter with the helmet. "This will help me reach her."

 

He took the helmet in his hands and placed it over his head. 

 

Suddenly, the room came alive with light.  

 

"Cerebro is a psychotronic device," Strange explained to us. "It amplifies the range of Charles' powers, helping him track enhanced individuals all over the planet. It is an extension of a telepath's brain. And only _experienced_ telepaths can handle the use of this machine. Others can get... _overwhelmed_ by the enhancement of their psychic abilities." 

 

"So you're saying inexperienced users can go mad because of this machine?" Bucky asked. 

 

Strange gave him a wry smile. "Yes. In a way." 

 

I was about to ask a question when, suddenly, Xavier cried out in pain. 

 

"CHARLES!" Strange rushed forward, pressing a few buttons before wrenching the helmet off the man's head. He had collapsed in his wheelchair, panting. 

 

"What happened, Charles? Talk to me," Strange said, kneeling down beside the Professor. 

 

"She's... She's in Budapest..." Xavier gasped, looking at Strange. "She's torturing Rumlow with her mind. Her powers. She detected my presence in her mind and...attacked me." 

 

"She _attacked_ you?" Strange repeated, stunned. 

 

"Yes," Xavier said. "She detected my intrusion and lashed out... But her power... Its more than I had expected." 

 

"We have to go," I said, looking at Bucky. 

 

 _"Wait!"_ Xavier called out, placing his hand on Stephen's arm. 

"What's wrong, Charles?" he asked. 

 

"I'm coming with you," Xavier replied. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	176. Its Only Fair

Reader's POV 

 

I hadn't slept since two nights. Or was it three? I couldn't remember... 

 

Nothing to eat. Not a drop of water to drink. That's how engrossed I was in driving Rumlow to the brink of insanity. 

 

He was lying at my feet. Barely conscious. 

 

"W-Water..." he gasped out, trying to touch my feet, trying to get my attention. 

 

I kicked his hand away. 

 

He winced, simply because he didn't have the _strength_ to scream anymore. 

 

I looked down at him, looked down at my _work._

 

Tattered and torn, his clothes were bloodstained. His skin was pale, from all the blood loss. He was weak, from the starvation. Barely awake. Muttering nonsensically under his breath, his eyes half lidded. 

 

The pain I had forced him to endure, it had gotten to him. At last. I had broken him. There was nothing of the old Brock Rumlow left... Just a pathetic shell of the man remained. 

 

His life force was waning. I could sense it. _Clearly._  

 

I sat down on my knees beside him, trying to search for mercy in the deepest corners of my heart. 

 

_Could I spare him?_

 

_**Should** I spare him? _

 

_Haven't I done enough?_

 

_He won't recover from this..._

 

"What's your name?" I asked him, reaching out with a gentle hand to cup his cheek. 

 

"I.... I.... I..." he stuttered out. 

 

"What's your name, tell me..." I asked again. 

 

"D-Don't.... _Please..."_ he replied, flinching away from my touch. 

 

_He doesn't even remember his name. Haven't you done enough, Y/N?_

I almost wanted to stop. To walk away. 

 

But then I remembered my _girls._  

 

And sudden, angry tears flooded my eyes. 

 

"They could have been _real,_ you know?" I choked down on a sob, my voice breaking. 

 

"Wh- Who?" Rumlow asked. 

 

"My girls..." I replied, hot tears running down my cheeks. I tried to wipe them away on the back of my hand. "All I wanted, was to hold my girls in my arms. To _be_ with them. To see them walk for the first time. To see them say their first words. To see them go to school..." 

 

I was crying. Crying for my girls. Crying for myself. Still dreaming... Of the life that was taken from me...

 

"We could have been such a happy family..." I sobbed, burying my face into my hands, shuddering. 

"Steve, Bucky, Jamie, Stephanie and _me..._ We could have been _together..."_  

 

I cried out, screaming into the air, tears running down my cheeks. 

 

I didn't even know _why_ I was screaming. Perhaps it was the pain, the anguish I had suppressed inside me. Kept it bottled up. It was _all_ coming out... Tearing me apart as it did. 

 

"We can still be together, Y/N," came Steve's quiet voice. 

 

I turned around. And there he was. 

 

There they were. 

 

 _Steve._  

 

 _Bucky._  

 

 _Stephen._  

 

And Professor? 

 

"What are you doing here?" I asked, turning around to face them. 

 

Steve, Bucky and Stephen, all had tears in their eyes, I could see. 

 

And for a moment, I wanted to run into their arms. To leave this surging nightmare behind. 

 

"Y/N, darling... Let him go..." Stephen said, taking a tentative step forward. 

 

"Let him be," Steve said, moving forward, his hand outstretched. "Come back to us. We can _help_ you..." 

 

 _"NO!"_ I cried out. "I don't need your help!" 

 

I waved my hand, sending a blast of energy at them, making the three of them fly back, crashing into the wall. 

 

"Y/N, please," the Professor called out. I turned to him. "Let the man be. Forgive him. You've already done enough..." 

 

"No..." I murmured under my breath, turning back to Rumlow. "Its _not_ enough." 

 

With a swirl of my wrist, I levitated Brock Rumlow into the air, holding him up in front of me. 

 

And then, I _concentrated._  

 

His entire body seized up, as I channeled through him _all_ the pain and suffering I had endured. 

 

_The pain of **losing** my girls. The pain of **never** being able to have children with the men I loved. The pain of watching another woman give the man I loved the one thing I knew he always wanted...._

 

"Y/N, _please..."_ came Stephen's voice. 

 

"You're not a monster..." Steve said. 

 

"Let him go. You've done enough..." Bucky whispered. 

 

A wild, maniacal laugh left my lips. 

 

"He took my children. I'll take his life. Its only fair..." I said, laughing through my tears. "Its only fair..." 

 

Sending a final surge of energy at Rumlow, I watched with savage satisfaction as he exploded. 

 

He literally _exploded._  

 

Into millions of tiny pieces. 

 

There was no blood, _nothing._  

 

His entire form simply. _...disintegrated._  

 

Leaving nothing in its wake. 

 

I let out a wild, triumphant laugh. 

 

And suddenly, I felt so weak. So _tired._  

 

My vision turned blurry as I sank to my knees, tears still streaming through my eyes, my shoulders shaking with exhilarated laughter. 

 

"Y/N...!" I heard distant voices call out. 

 

I fell to the floor. 

 

And the world went black. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? 
> 
> Like? Love? Dislike? 
> 
> Is this what you expected?


	177. Save Her

Steve's POV 

 

It was like I was only there to _watch..._  

 

I watched, _dumbfounded,_ as Y/N destroyed Rumlow. 

 

Blew him into smithereens, just like Strange had predicted. 

 

Her power, the force of it shook the very foundations of the building we were inside, causing it to begin its collapse. 

 

We had no time to marvel at her strength. 

 

We had no time to process the grotesque manner of Rumlow's death. How Y/N had disintegrated _every_ cell in his body into nothingness, _only_ with the power of her mind. 

 

Because the building was collapsing on itself. It couldn't cope with the magnitude of Y/N's powers. 

 

I watched it happen in slow motion... 

 

Y/N swayed unsteadily on her feet, just for a few seconds, before collapsing to the floor. 

 

 _Just_ as the rubble began to fall over us. 

 

"Y/N!" I called out, at the same time as Bucky and Stephen. 

 

The three of us looked at each other. 

 

"Get the Professor out," Strange said, his voice authoritative. "I'll bring her out." 

 

And without further ado, he broke into a sprint toward Y/N. 

 

It took me a second to break away from my thoughts. I turned to Bucky. 

 

"Help me get the Professor out," I said. 

 

Pieces of concrete were collapsing all around us as Bucky and I carefully avoided them, carrying the Professor outside, to safety, on his wheelchair. 

 

Strange was waiting for us outside, having teleported within seconds. He was holding an unconscious Y/N in his arms. 

 

"Let's take her to the jet," I said. 

 

* * *

 

The trip to New York was a haze of silence for Bucky and me. 

 

We were in shock. 

 

Still trying to process what we had seen. 

 

Still trying to process Y/N's behavior. 

 

Her _breakdown._  

 

She hadn't let on her suffering to either of us. Neither Bucky, nor me. 

 

I had assumed that she was dealing with it. 

 

 _Coping._  

 

Clearly, I was wrong. 

 

We listened to Stephen and Professor talk about Y/N in hushed voices. 

 

"She's _much_ stronger than I expected, Charles..." 

 

"I had seen this coming from a mile away... Her power, its unstable..." 

 

"Her mind is _young,_ Charles. What do you expect?" 

 

"We need to help her before her power overwhelms her..." 

 

"I've put her to sleep. She appears to be at peace..." 

 

"She is _not_ at peace, Stephen. Her mind is raging with turmoil." 

 

"What do you suggest we do?" 

* * *

 

I tried to drown their voices, to tune them out. 

I turned to look at Bucky. He had a faraway, distant look in his eyes. 

 

"This... This is so unlike her..." he murmured. 

 

I nodded, switching the plane to autopilot, getting up from my seat. 

 

"Where are you going?" he asked. 

 

"I have to see her," I sighed. 

 

I walked toward the rear of the plane, where Stephen and Bucky had laid Y/N out on a stretcher. 

 

A makeshift bed. 

 

She looked to be at peace, clad in her dark blue suit. Her long hair flowing out around her, like a halo. 

 

Her eyes were closed. Lips slightly parted. Breaths evened out. 

 

Her hands were folded gracefully, placed on top of each other. 

 

I placed my hand on top of hers. 

 

I had seen what these hands could do. Their power. 

 

And I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't afraid. 

 

What I saw, it scared me. 

 

And it scared Bucky. 

 

And Stephen. 

 

And the worst part? It was _all_ my fault. 

 

I should have taken out the time. _Talked_ to her. Grieved with her. Reached out to the parts of herself that she had hidden away. Locked away inside her heart. 

 

"I'm _sorry..."_ I mumbled, placing a gentle kiss to her lips. 

 

I had hurt the one woman I loved. 

 

The one I loved more than _myself._  

 

Was it too late to correct things now? 

 

Had I ended up destroying the girl I had fallen in love with? 

The girl _we_ had fallen in love with?

 

No. 

 

I wasn't going to accept that. 

 

Y/N was still there. 

 

She just needed to heal...

 

I was filled with self loathing. _Was I the most selfish man in the world?_

 

Here is a girl, who loved me, more than herself. Who gave and gave and _gave,_ until she had nothing left. 

 

And all she wanted in return, was _love._  

 

Tears sprung to my eyes. 

 

I felt Bucky's metal band on my shoulder. 

 

"We'll heal her, Steve," he said. 

 

 _"Together,"_ I vowed. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? 
> 
> Thank you for your overwhelmingly positive response to the change in the Reader's character. What would you like to see ahead?


	178. I'll Be Here

Bucky's POV

 

We arrived from Budapest and were met with utter _chaos._  

 

The team had so many questions. 

 

 _So. Many. Questions._  

 

It was all understandable. They were afraid. Confused. 

 

Trying to figure out what happened. 

 

And I swear, I wanted to sit down with them and explain everything that had gone down. But right now, my priority was Y/N. 

 

Steve and I left Stephen and Professor X to deal with the questions. After all, they were the ones who knew better than us what was going on in Y/N's mind. 

 

But Steve and I? 

 

We just needed to _be_ with her. 

 

They had placed her in a secluded, solitary ward. The hospital wing itself was isolated from the rest of the Tower. 

 

"It will be better to keep her away from any triggering or distressing situations," Professor  told us. We readily agreed. 

 

Steve and I hadn't had more than a few hours of sleep. We held a constant vigil, at her bedside. 

 

Refusing to leave for even a moment. 

 

Y/N woke up once. A few hours after she had been brought into the ward. Stephen and Professor had been with us when she awoke. 

 

Her eyes were glazed over, _blank._ She just stared ahead, into the distance. Didn't look at any of us. 

 

"Y/N," Professor asked her, his voice soothing. "Do you know where you are?" 

 

No response. She just stared ahead. Still as a statue. 

 

"She's catatonic," Professor concluded, a few minutes later. 

 

"Can't you _hear_ her, Charles?" Stephen asked him. "She's in distress. She needs help." 

 

"I'll calm her," Professor said. "You put her to sleep, Stephen." 

 

And Steve and I watched as two of the most powerful telepaths in the world, worked together to send Y/N back into rest. 

 

Y/N's eyes fluttered shut, as Stephen placed his hand gently on her forehead. 

 

"She's asleep now," Professor said, opening his own eyes, looking at us. "Let her sleep. She's exhausted." 

 

They left Steve and me with her, to have a word with Fury and Tony. 

 

* * *

 

It was past midnight, and I was battling sleep in the ward, slumped down on the couch. 

 

I had sent Steve to take a shower and get a night's rest. It led to much arguing, but eventually he relented. 

 

We decided to take turns watching over Y/N.

 

I was about to doze off, when suddenly, she opened her eyes, sitting up in bed. 

 

Any traces of sleep vanished instantly. 

 

She was _awake._  

 

"Y/N?" I called to her, tentatively. 

 

She turned to look at me. 

 

"Bucky..." 

 

She smiled. It was a warm, _radiant_ smile. I couldn't help but smile back. 

 

"You're awake," I said, getting up and walking over to her. She took my hand, making me sit down on the bed, in front of her. 

 

"How are you?" I asked her, stroking her cheek. 

 

She leaned into my touch, moving closer. 

 

"I'm awake. And you're here..." she said, pressing her forehead against mine. "I love you." 

 

"I love y-" 

 

She silenced me with a kiss, pressing her lips against mine. Her hands reached up to cradle my face, as she kissed me. Insistently. _Hungrily._  

 

Placing my hands on her shoulders, I pulled away from her. _"Relax,_ doll. I'm right here." 

 

"I need to feel something, Bucky. I need to feel _you._ I-" 

 

She kissed me again. Unable to help myself, I kissed her back, my hands threading into her hair, pulling her to me. 

 

Her hands grasped the front of my shirt, fingers flying to unbutton it. 

 

"Whoa, _whoa,"_ I said, pulling away from her, stilling her hands with mine. "You need rest." 

 

"I need _you..."_ she said, burying her face into my neck, kissing and nipping. 

 

"Y/N," I suppressed a groan, pulling away from her. 

"We can't do this. Not yet," I placed my hands on her shoulders. "Do you remember what happened in Budapest?" 

 

She looked at me, confused. "Budapest?"

 

And suddenly, her face crumpled. She _remembered._ She looked up at me, tears brimming in her eyes. 

 

"I did it for our girls, Bucky," she whispered, a tear running down her eye. "You _have_ to understand. I did it for _our girls._ I'm not a monster, Bucky..." 

 

"I know, doll, I _know,"_ I said, wiping her tears away. "I understand." 

 

"Y-You don't hate me, do you?" she asked, looking so utterly vulnerable in that moment, that it broke me heart. 

 

"No, of _course_ not, Y/N," I said, placing a kiss on her forehead. "I could _never_ hate you..." 

 

She smiled. "I'm... I'm tired...." she sighed, her eyelids drooping with drowsiness. "Stephen is sending me back to sleep..." 

 

I chuckled. "Then _sleep,"_ I said, giving her a gentle push, laying her back.

 

Placing the covers over her, I was about to get up, to return to my couch, when her hand grasped mine. 

"Where are you going? Sleep _here..."_ she said, scooting over to the side. 

 

I grinned and crawled into bed. 

 

Pulling the covers over us, I wrapped an arm around her. _"Sleep,_ doll." 

 

 _"Hmmm..."_ she buried her face into my neck, her arms tightening around me. Within moments, she was asleep. 

 

"I'll be right here..." I murmured, placing a kiss on top of her head, before closing my own eyes. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	179. No One Will Understand

Stephen's POV

 

Once I had ensured that Y/N was resting soundly, I took Charles' leave and teleported to Kamar - Taj. 

 

Inside the Ancient One's chambers, a council of sorts had convened. Wong, Baron Mordo and the Ancient One herself, sat around an ornate wooden table. 

 

A council _I_ had summoned. 

 

"Greetings, Ancient One," I said, bowing before her. "Mordo, Wong..." 

 

"Sit down, Stephen," the Ancient One spoke, her voice as calm and soothing as ever. "We have much to discuss..." 

 

I sighed. _This was going to be difficult._

 

I decided that it was best to approach the topic delicately. 

 

"I trust that you all are aware of the reason behind this meeting?" I asked. 

 

"Yes," Wong spoke. "It concerns the events that occurred in Budapest. What about it, Strange?" 

 

I looked directly at the Ancient One. 

 

"I... I would like to request you, _all_ of you, for your permission... Please let me bring Y/N here-" 

 

"Absolutely not," Mordo cut me off, coldly. "You are _not_ bringing her here." 

 

I decided to ignore him.

 

"Ancient One, please. Y/N is an _innocent_ girl. She needs help. She's _young,_ she's distressed... She-" 

 

"She's _unstable._ She killed people on a whim!" Mordo cried out. 

 

"The people she killed were HYDRA agents," I said, trying so _desperately_ to control my anger. I wanted to kill Mordo right now, right _here._ "She lost her children..." 

 

 _"Preposterous..."_ Mordo muttered under his breath. 

 

I looked at the Ancient One, who was gazing back at me, in complete silence. I knew she wanted me to make my case. 

 

I sighed, running a hand over my face. 

 

 _"Please,_ Ancient One," I pleaded. "Y/N is an innocent girl, who has suffered for a long time. Events that can only be described as soul shattering. She's _trying_ to emerge from them. But she needs help..." an edge of desperation crept into my voice. 

"I want to help her. I want to let her _heal._ Please, _please_ allow me to bring her to Kamar - Taj for a while." 

 

The Ancient One stayed silent. And her silence was becoming frustrating for me now. 

 

Mordo, as always, decided to offer his opinion. 

 

"This girl, you love her, Strange. We _all_ know that. It is an open secret. But her power, the sheer magnitude of it, its dangerous. Bringing such an unstable power here, will endanger _all_ of us..." he said. 

 

"If you had even the _slightest_ sense in your head, you would have killed the girl and finished this off," he scoffed.

 

It was too _much_ for me to bear. I wanted to rip Mordo to _shreds,_ but didn't do it, only out of respect for the Ancient One. 

 

 _"Mordo,"_ I said, seething. "If you even _think_ of harming Y/N, I will kill you. I'll _end_ you. I meant it." 

 

He glared at me. 

 

I glared right back. 

 

Finally, the Ancient One decided to intervene. "Wong? What is your opinion on the matter? We cannot reach a decision until _every_ Master of the Mystic Arts has spoken." 

 

Wong looked at me. I pleaded with him silently. 

 

"I'm sorry, Strange..." Wong sighed. "As much as I hate to say this, but I agree with Mordo. The power she demonstrated in Budapest, its dangerous. We _cannot_ endanger our community here..." 

 

I sighed, defeated. 

 

"Mordo, Wong, leave us," the Ancient One commanded. 

 

The two of them stood, bowed before her, before taking their leave. Once they were out of earshot, I decided to speak. 

 

"I just... I just _can't_ see her suffer any more..." I said, my voice breaking. "It pains me, to see her like this." 

 

"I understand, Stephen," the Ancient One spoke. "You have a compassionate heart. And you obviously bear love in your heart for this girl. But I cannot allow you to bring her here, since Wong and Mordo are so _strongly_ opposed to it." 

 

"Your judgment can overrule theirs," I reminded her. 

 

 _"Yes,"_ she said. "It can. But right now, I don't think that it is the opportune time to bring her here..." 

 

"Fine!" I said, standing up. "None of you want to help me, fine! I'll help her _myself..._ Do you know one thing Ancient One? This is the _first_ time in my life, that I've felt a love like this. An all - consuming, everlasting love. _Completely_ unconditional. And right now, the girl I love is in pain... And I'm certain of one thing, I will give up my life, my soul, my _everything_ to protect her..." 

 

She stared at me, slightly taken aback by my outburst. Then she smiled. "You really _love_ her."

 

"Its a love that _no one_ will understand," I said, smiling bitterly. "But its real. For me, she's _everything._ Whether she knows it, or not. My heart aches for her, and I will give my everything to keep her safe... I don't want anything in return from her." 

 

I walked out of the chamber, out into the snowy night. Inhaling the crisp, cold air, I looked at the beautiful mountains that surrounded Kamar - Taj, bathed under the glow of the moon.  

 

It was true. My love for Y/N, it was something that no one was going to understand... But it was _my_ reality. The _realest_ thing in my world. 

 

Gazing at the mountains around me, breathing the cold air on this lonely night, I remembered a quote...

 

 _To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves._ I had read this somewhere.  

 

And how _true_ it was. 

 

I knew that I could burn _forever_ for Y/N.

 

And I could _forever_ bear the burden of my love for her with a smile...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	180. The Diary Of Stephen Strange: Entry 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen makes a few confessions. Shares his innermost thoughts....with you.

_27th October 2016_

 

_Do you know what unrequited love feels like?_

 

_The feeling of **every** fiber of your soul, setting itself on fire, for someone who can't give you back the love you crave? _

 

_The exquisite torture of it, feeling it every second of every day._

 

_You feel like each day, a piece of your soul is being chipped away, being taken away, **never** to return. Because only the person you love can make you whole again. _

 

_Its **maddening,** honestly. _

 

_And the beauty of it, its utterly baffling._

 

_The heart wants what it wants, doesn't it?_

 

_I was so naive, reckless, to believe that I actually loved Clea._

 

_No, no, no, **no...**  _

 

_The very thought of it makes me laugh. How **stupid** I was to believe that. _

 

_Everyone deserves a fair chance at love, don't they?_

_That's what everyone says._

 

_But what are you supposed to do, when you find your real love, a little too late? When the object of your affection has already been taken away from you? Its like you never even had the chance..._

 

_And that's what kills me. Every time._

 

_I wish.... I **wish** I had met Y/N before. _

 

_Just a few years ago._

 

_Life would have been so **different** then. _

 

_I've seen what my life could have been, in another reality._

 

_In a better, more perfect world, I would have married Y/N._

 

_She would've been my bride. My **wife.**  _

 

_And Stephanie and Jamie, those beautiful girls, they would've been **my** children. _

 

_We would have been **together...**  _

 

_A real family..._

 

_And the worst part is when I have to return to the real world._

 

_Where Y/N is not and can never be mine._

 

_Where Jamie and Stephanie don't exist._

 

_And the very thought of this, it pains me._

 

_Every second of every day._

 

_It **suffocates** me. _

 

_Perhaps this pain will kill me. Eventually._

 

_Is it possible to die of a broken heart?_

 

_No... **No!**  _

 

_What am I thinking?_

 

_Dying is not an option._

 

_Y/N needs me. I have to protect her._

 

_And Jamie and Stephanie. I have to protect them too._

 

_People say that life goes on. People move on._

 

_But I don't think I will ever be able to move on from this._

 

_Y/N is and has been the **greatest** love of my life. _

 

_It's not an exaggeration._

 

_It is an absolute truth._

 

_Bucky and Steve, they don't know, don't realize the treasure that Y/N is..._

 

_Such a precious girl she is._

 

_I wish... I wish... I wish I could have just **been** with her, you know? _

 

_Its absurd. Embarrassing really, how in **love** I am. _

 

_This love that I have for Y/N, its taken over me._

 

_Completely._

 

_And I've taken utmost care to hide my feelings from her._

 

_I just.... I just can't..._

 

_The love I have for her, the burden of it, its going to take a toll on me. I can already feel it. I'm not the man I used to be._

 

_Y/N has changed me. **Irreversibly.**_

 

_The **greatest** love of my life. _

 

_Y/N._

 

_Who doesn't even know of it._

 

_Its so comically tragic, this whole situation._

 

_It makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time._

 

_Being around her, it gives me peace._

 

_Sometimes I just close my eyes and imagine the life we could have had._

 

_It soothes some of my pain. Takes it away._

 

_Just the vision of Y/N, walking down the aisle towards me, dressed in a white dress..._

 

_It's silly. I know._

 

_But it helps. It cushions the blow of reality._

 

_Where I know that she can **never** be mine. _

 

_Oh, my sweet, **sweet,** Y/N. _

 

_If you only **knew** how much I love you... _

 

_And I will always keep loving you._

 

_I will always be around._

 

_**Always.**  _

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ANGST!!!!!! 
> 
> Thoughts?


	181. The Calm

Reader's POV 

 

Its late at night when I finally woke up. I looked at the time. 

 

2 am. 

 

Glancing at my surroundings, I felt relieved. I wasn't in the hospital bed anymore. 

 

I was back in my room. In _my_ bed. 

 

Reflexively, my hand reached out to him. And I sighed in relief when I found him. 

 

His warmth, it was always reassuring. 

 

"You're awake..." he spoke, clearly awake himself. 

 

I turned to face him. 

 

And for that moment, that one _single_ moment... I felt truly happy. 

 

Bucky was _here._ Beside me. In bed. In _our_ bed. 

 

After everything we had been through... He was _still_ here... 

 

I reached out and cupped his face, bringing my mouth to his. 

 

 _Thank you_ , I whispered in his mind, as I kissed him. I felt grateful to have him here with me. 

 

"Thank you for _everything,_ James..." I murmured against his lips. "I..." 

 

"Shhh..." he whispered, his lips kissing their way along my jawline. "I know, doll. I _know..."_ he breathed, pushing the covers away from us, kissing down my neck. 

 

I could sense the change in the atmosphere. 

 

_We wanted each other._

 

It was clear. 

 

Reaching for his shirt, I pulled it up, over his head. 

 

And he let me do it. He didn't stop me like that time in the hospital room. 

 

He undressed me quickly, a sudden frenzy taking over him. 

 

I lay there, watching silently as he was freeing himself of his clothes. Waiting...

 

He lifted me up, into his arms. Placing me onto his lap, like I weighed nothing. 

 

"I _missed_ you..." he groaned, his voice breaking and I felt my heart break with it. 

 

The sheer longing in it. 

 

"Bucky, I -" 

 

He silenced me with his lips, metal fingers threading into my hair, grasping the roots. 

 

His lips coaxed mine apart, his tongue slipping in. 

 

My own hands reached up to cradle his face. 

 

We held each other as we kissed. Slowly. Hungrily. 

Savoring the wet slide of our tongues and lips. 

 

When air became an absolute necessity, we broke away. Gasping. 

 

"You're so _beautiful..."_ he whispered, reverently. His blue eyes gleaming. Like he was seeing me for the first time. 

 

He kissed me again, slanting his mouth over mine, kissing me with the fervor of a thousand cold nights. 

 

My lips were stinging when he pulled back. 

 

 _"So beautiful..."_ he murmured, cupping my face, his eyes staring into mine. 

 

For a moment, I was lost in his eyes. I could sense a strange uneasiness, an urgency in him. 

 

"Bucky, what's-" 

 

He silenced me again, pressing his lips to mine, lowering me to the bed. 

 

Without breaking the kiss, his metal fingers slipped between my legs. They slipped so easily into me... I hadn't even realized how wet I was already. 

 

I broke away from his lips, moaning. 

 

He pressed his lips to my temple, his fingers curling inside me. My back arched. 

 

 _"Bucky..."_  

 

His fingers fucked me, at a languid, unhurried pace, just as he kissed down my neck. 

 

I gasped when he took a nipple between his lips. My eyes fell shut, hips rising to meet his plunging fingers. 

 

He sucked at my breast, tongue lashing against the hardening bud. My hands slipped into his hair, holding him to me. 

 

He sucked, in time with his fingers slipping in and out of me, driving me mad with lust. 

 

I writhed against him, letting him play with me as he liked... 

 

That familiar coil was tightening up in the pit of my belly, ready to spring free any second. 

 

Three flicks of his fingers. And I was there... 

 

He moved swiftly, bringing his mouth down on me. 

 _There._  

 

His warm, moist tongue slipped into my folds, lapping away, tasting me as I gushed for him, riding wave after wave of ecstasy. 

 

He withdrew his fingers, and his tongue slipped into me. 

 

He was unbelievable... I had barely come down from the high his fingers had worked me to... And now his tongue. 

 

_That devious bastard._

 

His hands grasped at my thighs as he buried his face between my legs.

 

It took me no time, to reach my second peak, his mouth was _that_ relentless. 

 

My back arched off the bed as I came, crying out. He held me to him, hands cupping my bottom, as he licked me clean. 

 

I was trembling when he pulled away from me. 

 

His hand, the flesh one, came up to caress my cheek. I leaned into his touch. 

 

"Do you know how beautiful you look?" he asked me, running his thumb over my bottom lip. 

 

I drew his thumb into my mouth, biting it gently, still looking at him. 

 

He grinned. 

 

I sucked at his thumb, running my tongue along it. He groaned. "Lips bruised red, messed hair, skin glowing with sweat... Fucking _look_ at yourself, doll. You'll ruin me." 

 

I brought my lips to his, kissing him deeply. 

 

"You've _already_ ruined me, James..." I whispered against his lips. 

 

I opened my legs, feeling him align himself with my entrance. 

 

My head fell back to the pillow as he filled me with his thick, hard length. 

 

I exhaled sharply when he bottomed out. 

 

Placing his hands on my thighs, he held them apart as he drove into me. 

 

He began slowly and I knew that he was trying to make it last. 

 

But my moans and pleas, they sped him up. 

 

 _"Mi_ _ne..."_ he whispered against my neck, over and over and over. 

 

I held onto him, letting him take all he wanted. I needed this. _We_ needed this...

 

We cried out in unison, finishing together. 

 

I sighed in relief, feeling his warmth seep into me. 

 

After, we lay together. My head resting on his chest, his arms around me. 

 

The silence, it felt peaceful. Yet strangely disturbing. Like something was amiss. Like the calm before a storm.

 

"I love you..." he said, quietly. 

 

I kissed his shoulder in response, before wrapping my arms around him, drifting into a restful, yet uneasy sleep, my thoughts centered around Steve... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are your thoughts?


	182. If You Only Knew

Stephen's POV 

 

Its always in the garden. 

 

 _Her_ garden. 

 

I don't know why.... But I _always_ find myself there. 

 

Its a beautiful day. The sun is shining, bright and cheerful. The breeze is cool and soothing, making the innumerable flowers of her garden dance with it...

 

I'm standing under the cherry tree. All alone. 

 

Dressed in my usual attire of blue and red. 

 

Waiting. 

 

And waiting... 

 

Until the sound of slight, shuffling footsteps alerts me. I turn. And what I see, it brings a smile to my face. 

 

Dressed in identical pale pink frocks, are Jaime and Stephanie.

 

They're each carrying baskets of white rose petals. With their tiny, chubby hands, they reach into it, pull out a handful of petals and toss it into the air, with each step that they take. 

 

Stephanie is carrying herself with all the grace and poise that a toddler of her age can muster, smiling brightly as she walks, while Jaime looks a little harassed about being put into a frock, a girly, fluffy frock that I _know_ she doesn't like, but she's happy nevertheless. 

 

When they reach the end of the aisle, I kneel down to their level and place a kiss on each of their cheeks. 

They take their places beside me. 

 

Turning back at the sound of light, delicate footsteps, I see _her._  

 

Y/N. 

 

Walking towards me, a bouquet of flowers freshly plucked from the garden in hand. 

 

She's dressed in a pure snowy white silk confection, that reveals her shoulders, cinching her elegant waist, before flaring and flowing down to the ground. 

 

Her hair is flowing freely around her shoulders, cascading down her back in simple waves. 

 

I'm almost hypnotized by her, watching her walking towards me. 

 

She looks _perfect._  

 

 _Sacred._  

 

 _Holy._  

 

 _Pure._  

 

She catches my eye and smiles. And it is the most _radiant_ smile I've ever seen. It lights up her eyes. It makes my heart stutter and beat a little faster. 

 

The most beautiful woman in the world. 

 

She reaches me and turns, handing her bouquet to Stephanie. Turning back to me, she takes my hands in hers.

 

She looks into my eyes and I look into hers, lost for a moment. 

 

Then I concentrate, and a band of warm, pure golden light encircles our joined hands. 

 

Looking at each other, we recite our vows in unison: 

 

**_You are my lover, my best friend, my companion,_ **

**_My other half,_ **

**_I will love you, hold you and honor you,_ **

**_I will respect you and cherish you,_ **

**_In this lifetime and beyond,_ **

**_We will be together,_ **

**_Always._ **

 

**_On this day, I give you my heart,_ **

**_I am yours and you are mine._ **

**_On this day, I join my life to yours,_ **

**_You are my faith and my destiny._ **

**_Forever._ **

 

The light encircling our hands grows bright, glowing, filling us with its warmth. 

 

"I love you," she whispers, looking up at me. 

 

"I love you _more,"_ I reply, before pulling her to me for a kiss...

* * *

 

 

I sit up in bed, gasping. 

 

It takes me a while to reorient myself with my surroundings. 

 

I'm not in the garden. 

 

I'm in my room. 

 

In my bed. 

 

It was just a _dream._

 

_Only a dream._

 

But it felt so real.

 

The caress of the breeze, the warmth of her hands, and the feel of her lips against mine. Like soft petals...

 

_It wasn't real._

 

Angry, anguished tears sting my eyes as the realization hits me. 

 

_It wasn't real._

 

_She loves her soldiers._

 

_How could she possibly love you the way you love her?_

 

Angrily, I reach out and throw the bedside vase against the wall, watching with satisfaction as it shatters. 

 

The satisfaction is momentary. 

 

Before the tears set in. 

 

I wipe them away before they leave my eyes. 

 

_I only wish you knew how much I love you, Y/N._

 

_My sweet girl._

 

_I love you so much._

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I love our Sorcerer Supreme.   
> Thoughts?


	183. Repercussion

Steve's POV 

 

General Thaddeus Ross' plane had arrived from Budapest half an hour ago. And immediately, Bucky, Strange, Professor X and I were summoned to a meeting with him. Fury was presiding over the meeting, for all intents and purposes. Tony had insisted on coming up to the conference room as well. 

 

"General, I agree with what you're trying to say but-" Fury said, but was interrupted. 

 

 _"No,_ Nick. Its a fucking nightmare in Budapest. People are scared and their government was almost about to consider the massacre an act of war! Our diplomats have been having a very hard time trying to put out the fire Miss Y/N has started!" Ross spoke, angrily. "We cannot have your Avengers acting as vigilantes!" 

 

Silence ensued after his little rant. Then Bucky decided to speak up. 

 

"With all due respect, _sir,"_ Bucky began. "The people Y/N killed were HYDRA agents. If anything, the US government should be thankful to her for it." 

 

Ross chuckled derisively. "And what should Miss Y/N do with _you_ then, Barnes? Considering your, _ahem,_ longstanding past relationship with HYDRA? Should she kill you too?" he asked. 

 

Bucky glared at him and clenched his metal fist. 

 

"Buck," I warned him, quietly. 

 

He looked at me angrily for a long moment, before leaning back in his chair, silent but seething. 

 

I decided to intervene. "Sir, its my fault. Her actions, her behavior... _I'_ _m_ responsible for it. Entirely. Y/N is not to blame. She lost her- _our_ children... She's suffered. Please, I'm ready to face the consequences of her actions. Its not her fault."  

 

"I understand, Captain," General spoke, turning to me. "But powers of _this_ magnitude, they're dangerous. She's unstable. Someone needs to control her. Restrain her. We cannot have another Alcatraz on our hands..." 

 

Strange leaned forward. "Professor Xavier and I are willing to take full responsibility of Y/N from now on, sir. She's _grieving._ She needs.... She needs some time.... The pain of losing one's children, under such violent circumstances, its _unimaginable._  No one in this room can fathom the depths of despair Y/N has been to. And she's _young,_ we have to consider that.... We'll care for her and we promise not to give you cause for complain in the future." 

I felt at a loss for word, hearing Strange speak about Y/N. He _really_ cared for her.

_That is something I really needed to learn from him._

I was filled with remorse and guilt. 

 

 _Don't blame yourself, Steve,_ came Strange's voice in my head. 

 

"Look," Ross said, standing up. "I'm not going to interfere with the internal matters of your organization. I'm here on behalf of the US government, to warn you. The consequences and implications of this girl's powers going out of hand can be _very_ serious. Either _you_ control this girl, or we will have to take care of her." 

 

"And how exactly do you plan to 'take care' of her?" Bucky asked, sarcastically. 

 

Ross smiled cruelly. "Professor? Do you remember what happened to Dr. Jean Grey?" he asked. 

 

"How could I forget," Professor replied, his voice filled with regret. 

 

The General walked over to the door, file in hand. "You might want to ask the Wolverine to start sharpening his claws again..." he said, addressing the Professor before walking out. 

 

There was a long moment of tense, terse silence. 

 

"So he essentially came all the way here to threaten us that he'll kill Y/N," Bucky said angrily. "I swear to God I'll rip his head off!" 

 

 _"Bucky..."_ I warned him again. 

 

"He won't touch her..." Strange vowed, determinedly. "She'll be safe. I- we'll protect her." 

 

"Regardless," Fury said, folding his hands together. "Ross is partly correct. Y/N _did_ act on her own. She went ahead and slaughtered those HYDRA agents without any provocation... _Specifically_ when I had ordered that there was going to be no attack. She defied the Director's orders." 

 

"So what will you have us do? Kill her for it?" Bucky asked, a vein throbbing at his temple. 

 

"She's in pain, Nick. You need to understand," Strange began to speak but Fury held up a hand, silencing him. 

 

"I'm hereby suspending Miss Y/N from all missions and field operations for three months. Effective _immediately,"_ Fury said. 

The room immediately erupted in furore.

 

"This is not right, Nick," Tony said. "She's young. She made a few mistakes! We all do!" 

 

"You can't do that," I said. 

 

"I most certainly can, Rogers," Fury said, turning to me. "Her suspension should placate the governments. Meanwhile, work on a plan to stabilize her. Strange, you said that she needs time. Will three months be enough?" 

 

"Yes," he replied. 

 

"But you can't suspend her! She killed a huge chunk of HYDRA, including Rumlow who was on the Avengers' wanted list for a long time! This isn't fair!" Bucky said, indignantly. 

 

"Then what will you have me do, Barnes?" Fury said, his own voice rising. "Ross basically threatened to kill her. Do you want her dead? Or worse... They'll take her in and conduct experiments on her. Like a lab rat. Do you want that for her?" 

 

"No," Bucky, Stephen and I responded, simultaneously. 

 

"Then _trust_ me," Fury said. "This suspension is for the greater good. For _Y/N's_ greater good. You are dismissed." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	184. In Memoriam

Reader's POV 

 

I was sitting in the living room, my head on Pietro's shoulder. Wanda was sitting on my other side, her hand on mine. We both were silently spying on Tony's mind, reading it for the developments in the meeting. 

 

The three of us, the "baby Avengers" as Natasha called us, had the tendency to be around each other, _especially_ during times of duress. Like today. 

 

Wanda and Pietro were closest to my own age, that's why we hung out together. 

Two telepaths and a speedster. 

 

"So, what's the verdict?" Pietro asked, sipping from his coffee mug. His accent was always so cute. 

 

"Three months suspension for me," I replied quietly. 

 

"That's _bullshit!"_ the silver haired speedster exclaimed. "So unfair." 

 

"Its reasonable, Pietro," Wanda said, squeezing my hand. "That General basically threatened to kill Y/N otherwise." 

 

Pietro snorted. "Yeah, _that's_ a good one. He'll kill Y/N. What with her powers and her healing, she can take down the entire army singlehandedly." 

 

I chuckled at his dark sense of humor. "Thanks, Pietro," I said, taking his coffee mug and taking a sip from it. 

 

"And besides, we won't let _anything_ happen to Y/N, right, brother?" Wanda asked me, giving me a playful nudge. "She's.... What do the Americans call it? Our sister from another mister?" 

 

The three of us burst out laughing at that one. It just...it sounded especially _adorable_ in her accent. 

 

"Thanks, Wanda," I said, placing a sloppy kiss on her cheek, giggling. 

 

The three of us were still laughing when Bucky, Steve, Stephen and Tony walked into the room. 

 

Our laughter only doubled up, seeing the bewildered expressions on the faces of Bucky, Steve and Tony. Stephen looked close to laughter himself, obviously having read our thoughts. 

 

"Why are you _laughing?"_ Steve asked, brows raised. "This is a serious matter..." 

 

That made me laugh even harder. Stephen had his lips pursed together, he was suppressing a grin. 

 

Steve cleared his throat. "Y/N, you've been suspended-" 

 

"For three months. I _know,_ Stevie," I replied, tapping a finger at my temple. "By the way, thanks, Tony. For letting me slip into that genius brain of yours." 

 

Tony looked puzzled. "So it was _you!_ No wonder I felt a little weird back there in the conference room..." 

 

I nodded, proudly. "But thanks anyway." 

 

Tony shook his head. "Yeah, whatever, its nothing. Just....next time when you're gonna go peeking inside my head, let me know. Okay, kid?" he said, before walking away. 

 

"Will do, Tony!" I called out behind him. 

 

Steve, Bucky and Stephen took their seats on the couches opposite us. 

 

"I _still_ can't believe you think this is a laughing matter, Y/N," Steve said, disapprovingly. 

 

 _"Relax,_ grandpa," I drawled. Pietro snorted loudly.

"I'm being reasonable here," I said, shrugging. "Three months is _nothing._ And honestly, I could use a break from this....this hellhole." 

 

"Well, as long as you're taking this whole thing positively..." Steve said. 

 

"Oh, Stevie," I said, shaking my head. "Its all good for you isn't it? I'll be away from this mess, while Sharon gives birth to your little baby boy. Its a total win- win situation for you." 

 

He looked hurt. "Come on, Y/N. You can't possibly think that..." 

 

I shrugged. 

 

"Doll, Steve had nothing to do with your suspension," Bucky said, trying to sound as patient as ever. "Believe me." 

 

"Oh I believe you, Bucky," I replied. "Its just that.... The timing of this is so fucking _convenient."_  

 

I watched as Steve's jaw clenched with anger. He stood up. 

 

"I've had enough of you, Y/N. I mean, you need to stop blaming _me_ for everything!" he said, his voice growing louder with every word. "I know I've made mistakes. I know I screwed up. But I am bearing the brunt of it, aren't I? It would be so incredibly generous of you to stop reminding me of how I messed up, every second of every day. Just.... _stop._ Cut me some slack here, please. I'm just trying to help you!" 

 

I stared at him. The entire room had gone silent because of his outburst. 

 

"Come on, guys," I said to Wanda and Pietro, getting up. "We're leaving." 

 

"Where are you three off to?" Steve asked. 

 

Wanda must've sensed my impending tears. "We...uh, we need some fresh air," she said, grabbing my hand. 

 

"Y/N, wait!" Steve called out. 

 

But we walked away. 

 

 

* * *

 

The three of us walked outside. The air was crisp and cold. We were in one of Tony's upstate Avengers facilities, since the some of the floors of the Tower were being renovated. 

 

Wanda, Pietro and I walked in silence, together, to a garden not far away from the facility. This plot of land was also owned by Tony, and I had taken special permission from him for this. 

 

 _"Anything_ you need, kiddo," he had replied, placing a kiss on my forehead, when I had asked him, on that day. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I had hugged him. 

 

Under a large tree, Wanda and I had built a tiny enclosure. Using telekinesis, I had dug up a shallow grave of sorts, while Wanda and Pietro had created the gravestone. 

 

A slab of white marble, with flowers carved into its surface. And in the middle, the engraving read: 

 

**_To Stephanie and Jaime._ **

**_You will always be loved._ **

 

Wanda, Pietro and I had been working on this little project, secretly, for the past two days. 

 

Today was the day when we placed the gravestone in place. 

 

"Do it, Y/N," Wanda said, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. 

 

I looked at her and Pietro and nodded. 

 

With a flick of my hand, I raised the heavy marble slab, levitating it into the air. The concrete base had already been laid out. Lowering the stone carefully in position, I heaved a sigh of relief when it was perfectly in place. 

 

The three of us stared at it, silently. 

 

It had been Wanda and Pietro's idea, to create a memorial of sorts for Jaime and Stephanie. I asked for Tony's permission, to allocate a small part of his plot for the memorial. And he had obliged. 

 

"Its _beautiful,"_ Wanda mused, placing her hand in mine, giving it a squeeze. 

 

I felt a sudden gust of wind and in the blink of an eye, Pietro vanished and reappeared, a wreath of flowers in hand. 

 

"Come on," he said, gesturing to the grave. "Let's lay it out for the girls." 

 

The three of us bent down, placing the wreath on the grave. Together. 

 

"Thank you, Wanda, Pietro. You don't know how much this means to me..." I said, wiping away sudden tears that had welled up in my eyes. 

 

"Its nothing, Y/N," Wanda said, embracing me. 

 

"Anything for you, prinţesă," Pietro said, joining the group hug. 

 

We were about to get up and leave, when a hand holding two white roses appeared beside me. I turned to see Stephen, placing the flowers on the marble. 

 

"Its beautiful," he said, smiling. "Your girls will love it." 

 

I smiled at him. "Thanks, Stephen." 

 

A sudden question popped up in my mind.  "Why white roses?" 

 

"Your girls have _always_ reminded me of them, darling," he replied. 

I smiled at him. He offered me a hand and pulled me up to my feet. 

"So this is what you've been up to these last few days!" he said. I nodded. 

"I want to tell you something, darling..." he said. I looked at him expectantly. 

"Don't be so hard on Steve. He loves you. He clearly loves you... Sure he made some mistakes, but who amongst us hasn't? Give him another chance, please. You shouldn't give up on the ones you love.... _Ever,"_ he said. 

"I don't know, Stephen," I shrugged. "I don't think I have it in me to forgive him entirely." 

"Y/N," he said, taking my hand in his. "True love, the _real_ kind of love, without any conditions and expectations, _that_ comes along very rarely in life. If you're lucky enough to find it, you shouldn't let it go easily. _Always_ remember that." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	185. No One Else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in a day, I'm on a roll lol

Reader's POV 

 

No sooner had Stephen finished saying that, I felt a sudden rush of pure sensation. 

 

I couldn't describe what it felt like. It wasn't pain. It wasn't pleasure. It was pure.... _Innocence?_  

 

_Was that it?_

 

I turned to look at the facility building far away in the distance. 

 

"What is it, Y/N?" Wanda asked me. 

 

"Its time..." I murmured. 

 

"What? What is it?" Pietro asked me, confused. 

 

"Sharon... Sharon is having Steve's child..." I replied, still staring at the building. 

 

"Its _impossible._ Its too early. Two months early!" Stephen exclaimed. 

 

"No. _No,_ Stephen..." I said, placing my hand on his arm. "I can _sense_ the child. Its time. I _know_ it... Its unmistakable..." 

 

I looked at Wanda. "Can you feel it?" I asked her, urgently. She looked at me, lost in thought, concentrating. "I can feel.... _something,"_ she replied. "Its so faint..." 

 

"Its the child, Stephen..." I said, dazedly. 

 

And without waiting for the others, I broke off into a run toward the facility building. 

 

* * *

 

I ran and ran until I reached the hospital wing of the facility. 

 

Sure enough, a panicked and frantic Steve was being consoled by Bucky outside one of the operation theaters. 

 

"What happened?" I asked, reaching them, even though I already knew the answer. 

 

"Sharon is having the baby," Steve said, looking at me through red rimmed eyes. _Had he been crying?_

"Her water broke," he said, turning toward the window. 

 

"What did the doctors say?" Wanda asked. She had just arrived, with Stephen. 

 

Steve did not look in a state to answer any further questions, he was _that_ tensed. It was Bucky who replied. 

 

"Well, the doctor said that the baby is premature. Its only been 26 weeks... So they can't say anything until the baby has been delivered." 

 

I nodded. 

 

Ever the calm, composed surgeon, Stephen asked the next question. "Is it going to be a normal delivery? Or a caesarean?" 

 

"Caesarean," Steve replied quietly. "They said something about the position of the baby inside the uterus..." 

 

He looked so worried, it almost broke my heart, seeing him like this. 

 

But I couldn't help the slight flare of anger that I felt. 

 

_It should have been me. Not Sharon._

 

Pietro arrived a few moments later, blessedly, with coffees for everyone. 

 

"I figured its going to be a long wait," he said, handing us the coffees. 

 

We thanked him profusely, accepting the drinks. 

 

And we _waited._  

 

There was nothing else we could do. 

 

* * *

 

An hour later, the doctors _finally_ emerged from the surgery room. 

 

"Congratulations, Captain Rogers, its a boy," the doctor said. "Miss Carter is quite healthy. Although she has been kept under observation for a while, since she has lost a fair amount of blood." 

 

"And what about the baby?" Steve asked. He looked pale, almost white with fear. 

 

The doctor sighed. "Captain, the baby is alive. But he was born _much_ before the full gestational period could be completed... As a result of which he will suffer from disabilities." 

 

Steve sat down in the nearest chair, obviously shocked. 

 

"Disabilities such as?" Bucky asked. 

 

"The child is having respiratory problems, since his lungs are underdeveloped. He's weak, due to lack of nutrition, but we are working to remedy that. His heart is beating irregularly and he's severely anaemic. He may also suffer from learning disabilities later in _life....if_ he's able to survive."

 

"What do you mean by _if_ he's able to survive?" Bucky asked. 

 

The doctor sighed. "Statistically, chances of survival of children born at 26 weeks are a bit low." 

 

Steve looked utterly distraught. "So... You're saying he won't make it?" he asked, a tear running down his cheek. 

 

_I felt every bit of his pain, like it was my own. And I wanted to cry too._

 

"We've kept the child in an incubator in the neonatal ICU. We'll let you know when you can see him. We're trying our best to save the child. But we can't promise anything yet," the doctor said, before walking back into the surgery room. 

 

Steve slumped down in the chair, burying his face in his hands. His shoulders shook as his body wracked with sobs. "Its my fault..." he muttered over and over. "Its _all_ my fault." 

 

I kneeled down on the floor in front of him. Despite everything, it pained me to see him like this. I placed my hand on his shoulder. "Steve, look at me," I said. 

 

"Its all my fault, Y/N. This is the result of everything that I did to you.... My _child...."_ he sobbed. 

 

I pulled him into a hug. He cried bitterly against my shoulder. "I'm sorry Y/N. I'm sorry for _everything..."_  

 

Suddenly, I had an idea. 

 

"Bucky," I said, turning to him. "Go bring the doctor back. Tell him I need to see the baby... _Now."_  

 

* * *

 

_Steven Rogers Jr._

 

Such a _tiny_ little thing he was. 

 

Lying inside the glass incubator, wrapped in sterile blankets to keep him warm, hooked onto breathing tubes. 

 

Such a _tiny_ little bundle. 

 

I couldn't believe that _I_ , the one person who had endured the most pain prior to his arrival, was going to be the first person to see him. Well, first person other than the doctors, of course. 

 

Sharon had been unconscious during her surgery, so she hadn't seen her baby...

 

Tiny hands, a tiny nose, barely open eyes. And a mop of those _unmistakable_ golden hair that he had clearly inherited from his father. 

 

 _"Hey..."_ I murmured quietly, as the nurse removed the glass covering of the incubator. 

 

_I wanted to **hate** this child.... I had always known that I wasn't going to feel any love for him. He was always going to be a reminder of Steve's infidelity. _

 

_But now that he was actually here... I didn't feel **any** hate in my heart. _

 

_There was no trace of hate in me as I looked at the sleeping child. He was pure, **innocent.** Just like my girls. And he deserved a chance to live, something that Jaime and Stephanie never had. _

_I wouldn't wish the pain of losing their children even on my worst enemy..._

 

 _"Hey..."_ I whispered to the baby. At the sound of my voice, he woke up. Slowly, he opened his eyes. And they were the most _brilliant,_ crystal blue eyes I had ever seen. 

 

_He was just like Steve. Through and through._

 

Mustering all the strength I had in me, I reached into the cot and placed my index finger near his tiny hand. His little, fragile hand closed around my finger. 

 

_This is what holding my girls' hand would have felt like..._

 

I wiped away a tear that was running down my cheek. 

 

_When had I started crying?_

 

"You're _just_ like your father, you know?" I murmured, leaning close to the child. 

 

His eyes opened wider at the sound of my voice. 

 

I concentrated, channeling my energy into him. 

 

_Healing him._

 

"Promise me that you'll be like him. You'll be _strong, righteous..."_  

 

Almost in response, his fingers wrapped tighter around my finger. 

 

 _He was growing strong. I could feel it._  

 

"Be _just_ like him..." I whispered. 

 

He made a quiet, cooing sound. 

 

"Just don't be an idiot like him..." 

 

* * *

 

 

I walked out of the room, _significantly_ weaker. 

 

"The baby will make it..." the doctor announced to the waiting group, just as I slumped against the wall. Stephen caught me before I collapsed to the floor. 

 

"His vitals are stable and his condition is steadily improving, Captain," the doctor informed Steve. "I've never seen a miracle like this... Miss Y/N has saved your child." 

 

"Darling, are you alright?" Stephen asked. 

 

I felt _dizzy._  

 

"Get me out of here, Stephen," I whispered to him. "I can't bear to stay here anymore." 

 

"Okay, _okay..."_ he replied, soothingly. 

 

"Y/N!" Steve called out, rushing toward us. "I can't...I can't thank you enough... I just..." 

 

I raised a trembling hand to silence him. "I didn't do it for you... I did it so that _no one else_ has to suffer the pain that I've been going through..." I said. 

 

_It was the truth._

 

And I didn't want to hear anything else from him. Not right now.

 

I turned to Stephen, who was still holding me up. 

 

"Get me _out_ of here, Stephen," I said to him, almost pleading. 

 

Just as we vanished into thin air, I collapsed into unconsciousness. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	186. The Diary Of Stephen Strange: Entry 4

_3rd November 2016_

 

_Y/N continues to astound me, as always._

 

_She gave life to the child of the man who broke her heart._

 

_Another testimony to the largeness of her heart._

 

_Another reason to make me fall in love with her._

 

**_All over again._ **

 

_I mean, think about it: here's this man, who commits adultery, gets the other woman with child. And then, the life of the child is in danger... Knowing full well that she could never conceive children of her own, Y/N went ahead and saved little Steven Jr. from certain death. What woman would have the courage, the strength to do that?_

 

_The ultimate sacrifice._

 

_While her own daughters, Jaime and Stephanie are lost in the vastness of the astral realm, nonexistent except for their souls, Y/N chose to save the boy who's arrival had caused so much pain to her in its wake._

 

_It broke my heart. And at the same time, I was proud of her. That I had the honor of knowing such a rare woman._

 

_My precious girl._

 

_I brought her to the Sanctum with me. She's asleep in my room as I write this. It will take her a while to recover, I haven't left her side._

 

_She's tired, wiped out. But I'm sure she'll be back in no time._

 

_Just her presence, seems to brighten up the Sanctum. Its **really** good to have her around. She makes me smile. That's how much of a fool I've become for her..._

 

_In fact, even my cloak has developed an affinity for her, covering her, over the comforter, as she sleeps. Its grown protective of her._

 

_Same here, Cloak. **Same.**  _

 

_We both love her._

 

_Perhaps I'll cook her something when she wakes up._

 

_Tarragon egg salad sandwiches and chocolate raspberry tart._

 

_How does that sound?_

 

_My cooking was abysmal, yes. But I've changed my approach to it._

 

_And it has improved a **lot,** quite honestly. Cooking is like surgery. As long as you follow the procedure/recipe, you'll reach the result. _

 

_I'm sure I have raspberries in the fridge..._

 

_God, I'm such a fool for her, I'll be willing to cook for her for the rest of my life._

 

_Mordo and Wong will have a field day, seeing me in the kitchen, apron on._

 

_Eh, whatever._

 

_**Anything** for Y/N. _

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	187. Cagliostro

Reader's POV

 

_The Book of Cagliostro.... That is what you seek...._

 

The strange, disembodied voice, which sounded _nothing_ like a human, brought me back to consciousness. I could hear it clearly in my head. Like someone was whispering in my ear. 

 

_Find the Book... Free me.... I will give you your heart's desire... Your children...._

 

I sat up in bed, bold upright. The sudden movement sent a wave of vertigo rushing to my head. 

 

"Doll?" came Bucky's voice. "Are you alright?" 

 

He reached out to me with a tentative hand, placing it on mine. I flinched at his touch, which he noticed, drawing his hand away. 

 

"Did you hear that?" I asked him, looking around at the walls of Stephen's Sanctum. 

 

"Did I hear what, doll?" Bucky asked, looking worried. I shook my head. 

 

"Its nothing.... I just.... I thought I heard something," I mumbled, more to myself than to him. "Hey..." I smiled at him. It felt good to see him. "How's everything?" I asked. "How's Steve's.... son?" 

Bucky gave me a smile, his hand reaching out to touch my face. "He's alright, Y/N. You _saved_ him..." 

 

I sighed at his touch, closing my eyes, leaning into it. 

 

"I'm glad you're here...." I whispered. 

 

He kissed me softly. "There's nowhere else I would be," he said, quietly.

 

Then he grabbed my hand. "Now, come on, Stephen told me to bring you to the dining room as soon as you woke up. He's cooking for you..." 

 

I chuckled. "Stephen is _cooking?"_  

 

"Yep," Bucky replied pulling me to my feet.

 

* * *

 

The Sorcerer Supreme was quite the sight, dressed in his usual attire, apron over it, placing what looked like a chocolate tart on the table. 

 

He had even made some sandwiches. 

 

"Stephen!" I laughed, going up to embrace him. "You _didn't_ have to!" 

 

He chuckled, returning my hug. "I _wanted_ to. Now sit and eat..." he said, ushering me into the nearest chair. 

 

* * *

 

Once the three of us had finished eating, Bucky insisted on clearing away the plates. 

 

When he was in the kitchen, I decided to broach the topic. 

 

"Stephen?" I asked him, quietly. 

 

"Yes, darling?" he asked. 

 

"What is the Book of Cagliostro?" 

 

He stiffened immediately. "Why....why are you asking that?" 

 

"Please, Stephen, I want to know..." I begged, making puppy eyes at him. 

 

His eyes widened as he slipped into my mind, reading into the source of this query. 

 

"You're hearing _voices?"_ he asked, bewildered. "Y/N! When were you going to tell me that?" 

 

"I was going to tell you, but...." 

 

"Y/N. You're a telepath. A _strong_ one. If you hear strange voices, especially ones that demand knowledge of the sacred books of the mystic arts, you should come to me first!" he said, clearly worried. _Agitated_ even. 

 

 _"Relax...."_ I tried to mollify him. "What _is_ this book anyway?" 

 

He sighed, running a hand over his face. "The Book of Cagliostro is the book of Time. It contains spells and incantations that can change the way time flows..." 

 

It was my turn to be shocked. "So it can take us back in time? Or into the future?" I asked, excitedly. 

 

He looked at me, silently. But I already knew his answer. 

 

"Where is this book?" I asked. 

 

"Its here. With me," he replied, reluctantly. 

"Well can I see-" 

 

"Absolutely _not!"_ he exclaimed, rather harshly. I was taken aback by his tone. The sudden anger. 

"You are not going _anywhere_ near that book." 

 

"But why n-" 

 

"Because I _know_ what you're thinking, Y/N," he replied tersely. "I can sense your thoughts, I _know_ you. You want to use the book to try to go back in time, to save Jamie and Stephanie. And I cannot let you do that. I _cannot_ let you meddle with the laws of nature." 

 

Sudden tears filled my eyes. "But Stephen.... it'll save me all this _pain...._ I'll have Steve back. I'll have my girls. And Steven Jr. will the one who doesn't exist!" I whispered, already imagining the alternate reality the book could give me. 

 

Stephen looked horrified. 

 

"Y/N.... I _cannot_ let you do this. As Sorcerer Supreme, it is my duty to-" 

 

"Oh I know it is your duty! But what about the pain I've been languishing in for over a year? Can't you see that?" I cried out, tears streaming down my face. 

 

He walked over to me, reaching to take my hands in his. "Y/N, this isn't you.... this is the demon, Dormammu talking. He's feeding off of your sorrow. He's utilizing you to let him in, into this realm.... And I _cannot_ let that happen," he pleaded.

 

Murmuring an incantation, I felt warmth trickle into me, where our hands were connected. And I suddenly felt drowsy. 

 

"What.... What are you doing?" I asked, swaying on my feet. 

 

"I'm putting a protective spell over you. I cannot lose you to Dormammu's wishes. I _have_ to protect you... I can't bear to see you lose your mind..." he whispered. 

 

 

 _But my girls, Stephen_ , I called out to him mentally. 

 

 _I will not lose you to the demon, Y/N,_ he replied.  _I know your pain, like it is my own. We are connected in ways you haven't even realized yet. I **know** it hurts. But I cannot let Dormammu win. I cannot let him take away my **greatest** love... _

 

I fell into his waiting arms, slipping into a dreamless sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	188. Custody

Stephen's POV 

 

No sooner than Y/N had fallen asleep, collapsing in my arms, did Bucky walk back into the room. 

 

He stared at me with an incredulous expression. _"Again? Really?"_ he asked me, quirking a brow. 

 

I didn't have the time to explain the intricacies of the situation just yet, because _she_ was coming. 

 

I gave Y/N over to him. "Here, take her. Go to one of the bedrooms upstairs and _stay_ with her..." 

 

He looked at me strangely, while taking a hold of Y/N, lifting her up into his arms. "What's wrong?" he asked. 

 

I shook my head and ushered him out of the room. "I'll explain later... Just _go!"_  

 

No sooner than he had left the room, rather begrudgingly, a portal appeared out of thin air, right in the dining room. 

 

And the Ancient One herself materialized through it. Wong beside her. 

 

I bowed in greeting. 

 

"I expected your arrival..." I said, with a sigh. 

 

"Then I trust you're aware of the reason behind our arrival?" the Ancient One asked. 

 

"Yes... The Book of Cagliostro...." I replied. 

 

"We are here to take the Book under our custody. I was going to send Wong alone, but considering the power that this girl possesses, I thought it would be wiser if I accompanied him myself," she said. 

 

"Wise _indeed,_ Ancient One," I replied. "May I offer you some tea? While I retrieve the book?" I asked. 

 

"Wong will bring it himself, no matter. You stay here, I need to speak with you. And yes, some tea, with honey sounds nice," she said, gesturing to Wong to go and fetch the book. 

 

I watched as Wong left the room, before beginning to work on the tea. 

 

"She's here, isn't she?" the Ancient One enquired, sitting down in one of the nearest chairs. 

 

"Yes," I replied. "I've put her to sleep and under a protective spell." 

 

She murmured in assent. "Wise, Stephen. Though it seems like Dormammu _still_ hasn't stopped plaguing you...or your loved ones." 

I handed her the cup of tea. "One of the perils of being Sorcerer Supreme." 

 

"Thank you," she said, accepting the tea. "You understand the implications of her plans?" 

 

"Yes I do," I sighed, running a hand over my face. "She plans to work against nature's laws. To reverse time. A decision that will give her what she's always wanted.... while jeopardizing the safety of this realm." 

 

"You can't let this happen," she said, taking a sip of tea. 

 

"I _know..."_  

 

"Stephen, you don't understand the gravity of the situation," she spoke, interrupting me. "It is only and _only_ for the love that you bear in your heart for Y/N that I am sparing her. Mordo was all for killing the girl and 'settling the matter for once and for all' as he put it." 

 

I looked at her, horrified. "You can't allow this! I'll kill anyone and _everyone_ who even _thinks_ about harming Y/N." 

 

She sighed, taking another sip of the tea. "I know that, Stephen. That's why I came to take the Book under my custody. To prevent it from getting into her hands. Because if.... if Y/N even _thinks_ of committing such a grave transgression, she will have to suffer the consequences. And you will have to prepare for the worst case scenario..." she said. Her tone was gentle, but the underlying threat was very clear. 

 

"I understand," I said, biting back my anger. "However, if anyone, and I mean _anyone_ threatens Y/N, even so much as raises a finger against her, they will have _me_ to deal with..." I added coolly, staring right at her. 

 

She remained silent, simply staring at me, digesting the threat I had served back to her. 

 

"You really love her," she spoke, eventually. 

"More than anyone can imagine," I replied. 

 

She set down her cup of tea. "And will you die to protect her?" 

 

"I will die over and over, for _eternity,_ to protect her," I replied calmly. 

 

The Ancient One looked at me for a long moment, her eyes looking directly into mine. 

 

"I've got the Book," Wong announced, walking back into the room, the tome clasped in his hands. 

 

"Where are you taking it?" I asked. 

 

 _"That_ I won't be telling you, lest Y/N tap into your mind, Stephen," the Ancient One replied, standing up and opening up a portal in the air with a swirl of her hand. 

 

Wong walked into it with the book. 

 

"Talk her out of it, or restrain her," the Ancient One said, turning to me. "She will _not_ skew the balance of this realm. If she does, the consequences will be _severe..."_ she said, walking into the portal. 

 

I watched as the portal vanished. "And if I am unable to stop her, I will fight _anyone_ who stands to harm her, Ancient One," I vowed. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	189. Setting You Free

Reader's POV

 

I woke up to the feeling of a dull, _throbbing_ ache in my head. 

 

I remembered something about Stephen putting a protective spell on me, so that I was safe from the whisperings of the demon, Dormammu. 

 

It brought sudden tears to my eyes, thinking about what I had asked of Stephen. Reversing time using the Book of Cagliostro. 

 

On one hand, it would give me _everything_ I ever wanted: Steve, Bucky, my daughters. All _together._ A real family. Sharon would have never gotten pregnant and Steve and I could still have a chance to repair our relationship. 

 

But on the other hand, reversing time, only so that I could be with my daughters again, it seemed like a highly selfish decision. Steven Jr. would have never been born, Ward and Rumlow would still be alive. And I would have never received my powers...  

 

I sat in bed, staring at my hands. _Thinking._  

Was I really that selfish that I would throw off the entire balance of nature, just for my _own_ happiness? Did I actually have it in me? 

 

 _No,_ the answer came loud and clear from my inner voice. 

 

I couldn't meddle with an entity as powerful as Time, only to be with my daughters again. And I knew for a fact how powerful the demon was, he had almost vanquished Stephen before. I couldn't trade my life with him, and unleash him upon this world, just for my own happiness. 

 

And it would be a hollow, empty world that this would give me. I simply couldn't hurt _all_ the people of this world, just to be with my children. 

 

As good as the offer sounded, I had to give it a pass. The price was too high and there was _too much_ at stake... 

 

I'm _sorry Jaime and Stephanie._

 

_But we will be together one day._

 

* * *

 

I returned to the Avengers facility that evening, Stephen and Bucky by my side. 

 

And the first person to greet me with a hug, was Sharon Carter. 

 

"Thank you, Y/N! Thank you.... You saved him!" she cried out, embracing me tearfully while I stood frozen in place, not even raising my hands to hug her back. It felt _that_ odd. 

 

I heard Bucky and Stephen both snort quietly and glared at them. 

 

Once I had greeted everyone else, I saw him. _Steve._ Sitting on the couch, dressed in a blue button down shirt and black trousers, looking as handsome as ever. Cradling Steven Jr. in his arms. 

 

I felt a sudden rush of pain at the sight. _Nothing_ in the world could have prepared me for that moment. Watching Steve, hold his son. A child from another woman. 

 

But he looked so happy. _Contented._  

 

It brought tears to my eyes. The wound which had barely begun to heal was seared open. _Again._  

 

But this time, I didn't run away. Instead, I walked towards him. 

 

"Hi, Y/N," Steve said, smiling at me standing up to greet me with a hug. 

 

I wanted to cry again, his touch was always so comforting. _Soothing._ His warmth had given me such solace once. 

 

When he pulled away, I looked at the child, who reached out to me with his tiny, chubby hands. "He likes you...." Steve murmured. 

 

I looked up at him, sadness in my eyes. He noticed. "Y/N, what's wrong?" 

 

_What's wrong?_

 

Such a simple question it was. But the answer was so complex, it baffled the mind. 

 

I didn't reply, instead I pulled off the engagement ring he had given me as he watched, shocked. Taking his hand in mine, I placed the ring in it. 

 

"Y/N.... What...." 

 

 _I'm setting you free, Steve,_ I spoke into his mind. _I love you.... I will always love you. But I've only found pain in return. I can't live like that anymore... If you ever **truly** loved me, you'll find a way to return to me... Otherwise, I will have my answer. _

 

There was _complete_ silence in the room. I had just called off my engagement with Captain America in full view of _all_ the Avengers. 

 

I calmly walked out of the room. "Y/N!" Steve called out to me. That's when the tears broke free and I began running. 

 

I ran as fast as I could, my vision blurry with tears, until I reached the memorial Wanda, Pietro and I had constructed for Jamie and Stephanie. 

 

There, collapsing on my knees, I _wept._  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Steve will redeem himself? Or will Stephen replace him? Bucky will always be a constant, worry not. I love him, till the end of the line.  
> Thoughts? 
> 
> PS: No, I'm not ending this story. There's so much more to come!


	190. The Ex - Wife

Stephen's POV 

 

I woke up with a start, in the middle of the night. Drenched in a cold sweat. Glancing at the time, I saw that it was 3 am. 

 

I felt a sudden, foreign yet familiar presence inside the room. Lurking in the shadows. 

 

"Come out, Clea," I called out, my voice echoing. 

 

There was a moment of silence, followed by the sound of her laughter as she emerged from the shadows, looking _just_ like she had been when we had parted... 

 

Silvery blonde hair, blue eyes, a slight smile playing on her lips. My ex- wife, Sorceress Supreme of the Dark Dimension and the niece of Dormammu. 

 

Clea. 

 

"Stephen, its _so_ good to see you..." she spoke, her voice quiet. 

 

"I wish I could say the same, Clea," I said, grabbing my robe from the nearest chair and putting it on to cover myself. 

 

She laughed. "Why are you hiding yourself, Stephen. Its nothing I haven't seen before..." she smirked. 

 

Pulling the robe around myself and tying it up, I asked her, "What are you doing here?" 

 

She feigned hurt, placing a hand dramatically over her heart. "I'm just visiting my husband..." 

 

 _"Ex-_ husband," I reminded her, politely. "What are you doing here? Did Dormammu send you?" I asked. 

 

"Always getting _straight_ to the point... You haven't changed at _all,_ Stephen..." she cooed, reaching out to touch my face. I pulled away. 

 

"And neither have you, Clea," I replied, standing up. "What are you doing here?" 

 

She smiled, placing her hands on my shoulders. "I _missed_ you..." she said, innocently. 

 

I chuckled. "Well, the timing of your arrival is rather _convenient._ Just when I've thwarted another one of your uncle's attempts to gain access to this realm, you appear." 

 

"Come _on,_ Stephen. Don't be like that," she chided me, leaning close to me. "We can still be together again..." 

 

 _"Really?"_ I asked. "The last I heard, you had already taken a new lover." 

 

"Are you jealous?" she asked, her smirk growing. 

 

"Absolutely not," I replied. 

 

"Oh yes, of course! How can I forget? How's your precious little Y/N?" she asked me, mockingly. 

 

"She's good. Better than _so_ many others I've known..." I replied, looking pointedly at her. "She's beautiful, strong, loyal, faithful..." 

 

"....and pushing you to the sidelines," Clea finished smugly. "Tell me, Stephen, how does it feel playing second fiddle to two simple soldiers?" she asked sarcastically. "Loving her with all your heart, while knowing full well that she'll never love you back?" 

 

"Its a much more fulfilling relationship than _we_ ever had, Clea," I responded. 

 

"Really?" she asked, leaning closer to me, her lips brushing against mine. "Kiss me and I'll remind you how good it was..." 

 

I pushed her away from me. "You've lost your mind! If you think for even a single moment that I will allow you back into my life, after what you did to me, you're sorely mistaken, Clea." 

 

"And if you think that you'll be able to protect your little student from my uncle, then you're mistaken, Stephen!" she shrieked. "I have a bargain for you..." 

 

"Not interested..." 

 

"Let Dormammu into this dimension, let him rule this realm and he'll spare your precious Y/N. If not, he'll haunt her forever... _Just_ to make you suffer..." Clea said, smiling cruelly. 

 

"As long as I'm alive, no one will be able to touch Y/N. And that's a promise," I replied, calmly. She knew the truth in my words and it wiped the smile off her face. "And anyway, your uncle's powers are _useless_ against my spells..." 

 

"You dare!" she cried out. 

 

 _"Yes,_ I dare..." I replied. "Get out. _Now._ Before I banish you to the seventh circle of Hell." 

 

She stared at me, murderously, a look that I found rather amusing. It was still so easy to get a rise out of her. 

 

"I _will_ come back, Stephen," she said, before vanishing into thin air.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My version of Clea is inspired by an alternate Marvel universe, where Clea betrays Strange. 
> 
> Thoughts?


	191. Bridge

Steve's POV

 

I was sitting in my room, holding my son in my arms, _just_ looking at him. 

 

Everyone so far had told me that he looked exactly like me. Well, he had inherited my eyes, nose and hair. _My son._ It felt so surreal, even _thinking_ about it. 

 

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the ring Y/N had returned the other day. I held it in my hand, turning it over and over between my fingers. 

 

Perhaps it was the twinkling of the ring in the light, but Steven Jr. let out a little cooing sound and reached out for the ring with both hands, his blue eyes alight with curiosity. 

 

In spite of myself, I chuckled at his behaviour. Such a curious, perceptive little fellow he was. I turned the ring over and over in my fingers, watching his eyes grow wide as the light twinkled through it. 

 

It was such a paradox. Here I was, holding my newborn son, the _saddest_ I had ever been in my life. It is the happiest moment in a man's life, isn't it? Holding his child in his arms.

 

But there was no trace of happiness in me. Only a heavy weight in my heart. Everything seemed hollow, empty, without Y/N. 

 

But I had given her every single possible cause to leave.... it was _completely_ fair, what I was going though. I deserved it. 

 

Putting her through circumstances like the ones I had, it was impossible for our relationship to sustain. My absence, not being there with her when she needed me the most, after the loss of our girls. That was the catalyst that set everything in motion. 

 

Getting involved with Sharon was a huge mistake. And that mistake had been the final blow. The last straw. It ruined _everything._  

 

Don't get me wrong, I _do_ love my son. With all my heart. He is a gift. 

But the events leading up to his arrival, and even after it, have been nothing but painful.... 

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is- 

 

There was the sound of the doorknob turning. The door opened and Sharon walked in, Bucky behind her. 

 

"There's my little baby boy!" Sharon cried out, her arms outstretched, as she walked to us. I gave Steven Jr. over to her. 

 

Behind her back, Bucky rolled his eyes. 

"How are you, Stevie?" he asked me, quietly. 

 

I looked at him, a weary smile on my lips. 

 

"Yeah, I _know,"_ he nodded, as if he had read my mind. 

 

I turned to Sharon who was holding Steven, cooing, "Who's my little super soldier?" to him over and over again in a high pitched squeal. 

 

 _"Jesus..."_ Bucky muttered under his breath. 

"Uh, Sharon?" I asked. 

 

"Yeah, Steve?" she replied, turning to me. 

 

"Could you please sit down? I wanted to have a word with you..." 

 

"Yeah, sure, what is it?" she asked, sitting down on the couch in front of me. 

 

Bucky, always so impeccably tactful, stood up and left the room, muttering something about "getting a beer." 

 

I threw him a grateful look just as he went before turning back to Sharon. 

 

"I....uh, I've been wanting to say this to you for a long time. But I wasn't able to say it because I was afraid..... I, I won't be able to be with you any longer." 

 

There I said it. It was out in the open. 

 

Sharon stayed silent for a long moment.

The silence was killing me, so I rambled on. "I mean, I will be there for you and Junior whenever you need me. I will provide for him... for _both_ of you. But I cannot be in a relationship with you, at least not the way you're expecting. The only association between you and me will be our son, nothing else. _Nothing_ more." 

 

 She sighed. "I guess I had seen it coming..." she said, a rueful smile on her face. "You still love her, don't you?" she asked. 

 

"Yeah, Sharon. I _really_ do..." I said. "I'm really sorry for everything I've done." 

 

"Steve," she said, placing her hand on mine. "Don't be sorry. I was wrong about Y/N. I was always wrong about her.... I mean, she saved our son's life! Even and especially after all that she's been through! The least I can do for her is letting you go..." she said, smiling at me. "Steven is as much your son as he is mine." 

 

A wave of relief swept over me. "Thank you. Thank you, Sharon." I kissed her cheek. 

 

I stood up and walked out, putting Y/N's ring back in my pocket. Bucky was waiting for me in the kitchen, sipping a beer. 

 

"So?" he asked quirking a brow. "You did it?" 

 

I nodded. 

 

 _"Good,"_ he said, simply, taking a sip of beer.

 

I looked out of the window and saw Y/N walking towards the garden, with Stephen, a bouquet of flowers in her hand. She was going to the memorial for our daughters, I knew. 

 

Perhaps finally calling things off with Sharon was too little, too late. But I had to start _somewhere._ There was a lot of repentance for me to do. There were a _lot_ of broken bridges I needed to rebuild. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stevie, Stevie, Stevie.... 
> 
> Thoughts?


	192. It Will Rain

Stephen's POV 

 

We were standing next to each other, in front of Jaime and Stephanie's memorial. 

 

It was a surprisingly cloudy day, the sun was hidden behind a thick blanket of clouds. 

 

"I think it will rain today..." I said, my voice low. I didn't want to startle Y/N who was so mesmerised, staring intently at the flowers she had placed on the marble slab. 

She hummed in agreement. 

 

I could look at her _forever._ How incredibly beautiful she was. Standing there, her hair blowing in the wind, wrapped up in her black coat. She wore sadness on her face, but it only seemed to heighten her beauty in my eyes... 

 

And at the same time, it made me miss her smiles. Her _laughter._ The way the corners of her eyes crinkled when she laughed. 

 

"Stephen..." she spoke, quietly, pulling me out of my reverie. And for a moment, I was afraid. 

 

_Had she heard my thoughts?_

 

"Yes, darling?" I asked. 

 

She turned to look at me. "Why do you love me so much?" she asked, her eyes looking into mine. 

 

It was such a simple question. But the answer, it was a mystery to even myself. 

 

"You read my thoughts..." I spoke, clearing my throat, trying to change the subject. 

 

"I didn't need to," she said, taking my hand in hers. _"Why_ do you look at me like that?" 

I began to feel myself becoming lost in her eyes. "Like what?" I asked, dazed. 

 

"Like I'm the center of your universe..." 

 

I smiled. "You're the center of _all_ my universes, Y/N," I corrected her. 

 

"But, _why?"_ she asked, insistent. 

 

"Some things don't make sense, darling. But they _feel_ right. They feel _good..."_ I said, trying to explain my feelings, trying to put them into words. "And being with you, it feels right. I've become so hopelessly attached to you..." 

 

"So attached that you challenged the demon king," she said, urgently. "Stephen, I don't want you to risk your life for me. I don't want Dormammu, or Clea to harm you..." she said, her voice breaking. 

 

"But why?" I asked, echoing her earlier question. 

 

"B-because.... Because.... you're _important_ to me! I can't _see_ you getting hurt, Stephen! I won't be able to bear it, you understand?" 

 

Her words brought a smile to my face. 

"See _that,_ Y/N, what you just said, _that_ is love for me... That is love to me...." 

 

"But- You will be _hurt,_ Stephen, I don't want any harm to come to you!" she cried out, her eyes glistening with tears. 

 

I cupped her face in my hands, wiping away the falling tears with my thumbs. "No more tears, darling. You've wept _enough._ And as for your fears for my safety, don't worry. I will not hesitate for even a moment to die for you." 

 

She looked at me for a long moment.  

 

 _"Why_ do you love me so much?" she whispered, leaning closer to me, our lips brushing. 

 

"We love who we love, Y/N," I replied. "The heart wants what it wants..." 

 

Almost simultaneously, we closed the distance between our lips, meeting in a chaste, gentle kiss. 

 

Her hands came up to grasp the front of my tunic, as our lips moved together. Her lips felt like soft, velvet petals... 

 

The wind blew fiercely around us, and she leaned into me. 

 

I ran my tongue along her bottom lip, asking permission. She moaned, a soft, breathless sound and her lips parted for me. 

 

My hand slipped into the hair at the nape of her neck, as the kiss deepened. She sighed again and I pulled her closer still, feeling her melting into me. 

 

I couldn't tell how long we kissed, it felt like eternity, but _still_ not long enough. 

 

We were both gasping when we broke apart. Her eyes were blazing, lips swollen red.

 

"Stephen... I-" she began to speak, but was interrupted by the sound of a throat being cleared. 

 

I turned to see Captain Rogers standing there, holding a bunch of now crushed flowers in his hand. 

 

He looked like he was going to blow a fuse. 

 

 _I love you, Y/N_ , I spoke into her mind. 

 

She took my hand in hers and gave it a squeeze in response. 

 

"Shall we go back inside? I think it will rain..." I asked. 

 

She nodded, hooking her arm with mine. "Yeah, let's go." 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	193. Crime

Reader's POV 

 

I had already _heard_ the judgement in Steve's mind, when he had found me kissing Stephen at the memorial. 

 

The harsh words, that had never left his lips, but were loud and clear in the voice of his mind, they stung my eyes. 

 

I sat by the window, looking at the drizzle outside, wiping away the tear that ran down my cheek. 

 

_Yes, I loved Stephen. Was that a crime?_

 

Each time he kissed me, he's made me feel _alive._  

 

And he _knows_ this, because our minds are connected. Its almost forbidden, illicit, the bond I share with him. 

 

But I _love_ him. That is true. 

 

He's helped me through times when I was the _most_ helpless. Confused. Not knowing what to do. He _guided_ me. _Cared_ for me. Took my hand and led me through the maze... 

 

And he's never wanted anything in return. Never asked. _Nothing._  

 

He was always there to help me gather myself up. To put the pieces back together. 

 

_Is it such a crime, to love him?_

 

The doorknob clicked and the door behind me opened. Just by the sound of the light, yet sure footsteps, I could tell that it was Bucky. 

 

"Are you here to judge me too?" I asked, my back to him, still looking out the window. 

 

He sat down next to me. "No..." he replied, his voice thick. 

 

I turned to look at him. His eyes were red. "James. Have you been crying?" I asked, reaching out to cup his cheek. 

 

He _had_ been crying. It was clear. 

 

Not saying a word, he turned to kiss the palm of my hand. 

 

"What's wrong?" I asked him. 

 

He took my hand in his. "Do you love him?" 

 

I remained silent. I knew that by 'him' he meant Stephen. 

 

 _"Yes..."_ I sighed, lowering my eyes. 

 

"And me?" he asked, hooking a finger under my chin, making me look up into his eyes. 

 

 _Yes,_ I spoke in his mind, letting him sense my absolute honesty. 

 

He leaned in closer and kissed me, his lips brushing against mine. 

 

"If you leave me, Y/N, I'll _die..."_ he whispered against my lips. The vulnerability he was showing, it broke my heart. 

 

"Shhh..." I pressed my lips against his. "Don't you _ever_ say that." 

 

* * *

 

 _"James..."_ I moaned, running my fingers through his hair. 

 

He sucked at my breast, his lips closed around the bud, his tongue flicking against the tip. I arched into him, wanting to disappear in his embrace. 

 

He plunged into me, at a languid, unhurried pace. Like we had _all_ the time in the world. 

 

As much as I tried to urge him on, kissing him, clutching at his shoulders, begging to him to go faster, harder, he didn't listen. Wouldn't listen.

 

He just kept up that slow, steady pace. With every roll of his hips, he sank deeper into me, making my slick, aching walls clutch at his length. 

 

I tried to raise my hips to meet his, desperate for a _little_ more friction, but his hands stilled me, holding me in place. At his mercy. 

 

He ran his fingers through my hair, his lips at my neck, kissing along my collar bones, his tongue tracing a path up my throat, along my jaw, before capturing my lips in his. 

 

I moaned into his mouth, his tongue gliding so familiarly against mine, in time with the slow, deep drag of his length with each push and pull of his hips. 

 

"Do you love me?" he asked, his question a whisper against my lips. His hips rolled a little harder against mine, drawing a strangled moan from me. 

 

 _"Answer_ me, doll..." he asked, pulling me closer to him. 

 

 _"Yes..."_ I gasped, my body beginning to tense as pleasure unfurled through me. 

 

He bit at my shoulder, his teeth sinking into my flesh. I cried out, my hand grasping at his hair. "Say it. Say it," he growled. 

 

And suddenly, his hips began to snap into mine, the quickening of pace bringing tears to my eyes. 

 

"I _love_ you... I love you, James...!" I moaned, over and over as my body seized up. 

 

He kept up his unwavering rhythm, taking me through wave after wave of blinding ecstasy. Until he spilled his warmth in me, his grip around me tightening. 

 

With a groan, he collapsed on top of me, his body slick and spent, covering mine. 

I held him to me, my fingers tracing aimless patterns on his back, his face buried into my neck, both of us gasping. 

 

"I love you, doll..." he whispered, pressing the words into my skin. 

 

I placed a kiss to his now damp hair, gently smoothing it away with my fingers. 

 

Just as I slipped into a dreamless sleep, wrapped in Bucky's arms, I heard Stephen whisper in my mind. 

 

_I love you, my darling._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	194. E(strange)d

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Stephen's POV. The part in Italics is what he is writing in his diary.
> 
> You can also call this chapter The Diary of Stephen Strange: Entry 4

_10th November 2016_

 

_How is it possible that the best day of your life can turn out to be the worst? The last?_

 

_Clea, my ex-wife has turned out to be stronger and more vengeful than I could have ever imagined._

 

_She, along with her uncle Dormammu, has taken Jaime and Stephanie hostage. She has broken down every protective shield I had placed on the girls and taken them away with her to the Dark Dimension._

 

_Dormammu holds Y/N's girls._

 

_And she is unaware of it. I've made sure of it._

 

_I sensed the girls were in trouble, just as I was escorting Y/N away from the memorial. They had called out to me. Clearly. Their screams... They sent shivers down my spine._

 

_Excusing myself hastily, I opened up a portal to Kamar-Taj where I went to have a word with the Ancient One._

 

_I told her that I simply cannot be Sorcerer Supreme anymore. Because I have to venture into the Dark Dimension, to rescue the girls. There I will have to battle Clea, Dormammu and Clea's mother, Umar. Not only that, Dormammu has been leading every bring of his dimension in an uprising against me._

 

_The odds of my survival aren't very optimistic, to be honest. In fact, I know I won't be able to make it. All these entities against me, alone. Its not possible._

 

_My only objective is to save Jaime and Stephanie, whatever the cost. Even if it takes my life, I will make sure they are safe and free._

 

_The Ancient One has termed my mission to be a suicide. And it doesn't faze me, not one bit. I remember, I used to be so afraid of death. The finality of it._

 

_But I have Y/N's memories keeping my heart and my mind at peace. I'm not scared anymore._

 

_Dying for love, it makes the most sense. Doesn't it?_

 

_And I know for a fact that Y/N and James have reconciled. I don't want to cause any more conflict between them._

 

_Me kissing Y/N, it left her confused. It hurt James. I don't want to be the cause of pain and misery in anyone's life. Least of all Y/N._

 

_Let them be, happy and safe. Together._

 

_I never asked for Y/N to reciprocate my feelings for her. And I never will. Because I know that it comes at a cost for her. The cost of James' heart. And I know that she loves him more. As much as she loves me._

 

The pages of my diary are stained with my tears, smearing the ink. I wipe hastily at my eyes, lowering my pen to the paper, continuing to write... 

 

_Perhaps I won't be able to make it. But Y/N's memories will always stay in my heart. Especially the one of her lips against mine, the wind whipping around us, at the memorial. And the moment when I had seen her for the first time..._

 

"Stop crying, Stephen..." I mutter to myself, wiping my cheeks. 

 

_**I love you, my darling,** I whispered into her mind. Perhaps they'll be the last words she'll ever hear from me. _

 

_If my sacrifice is able to save her girls, to get them their freedom, my whole life leading up to this point, it'll all be worth it. Perhaps this is my purpose._

 

_I will die for Y/N, over and over, for **eternity.**  _

 

_And I have no regrets, I never wanted anything from her. If my death makes her realize how **much** I love her, it'll all be worth it. _

 

_They say your whole life flashes before your eyes when you die. I want my last memories to be of Y/N._

 

**_I love you, my darling._ **

 

**_I will always love you._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	195. Cataclysm

Xavier's POV 

 

I felt it this morning... the pain, so intense that it woke me up from sleep. 

 

Being a telepath is a boon and a curse. 

 

It becomes a boon when you are able to sense the other person's thoughts and help them, empathize with them, in times of distress. You can alleviate their suffering. 

 

It becomes a curse on days when a dear friend, a person you were close to, passes on. 

 

And when a powerful enhanced individual passes away, the pain is sharper. More acute. 

 

I _feel_ their deaths. 

 

It happened when Scott was killed at Alkali Lake. 

 

When Jean was killed at Alcatraz. 

 

Their deaths, _devastated_ me. They were like my _own_ children. My first students. 

 

I had taught them everything I could, and they were always forthright when it came to following the principles I had inculcated in them. 

 

Stephen had come to me the other day. To bid farewell. 

 

He didn't say much, he didn't need to. 

 

It was a battle within the Dark Dimension, he said. He said that he had given up his position as Sorcerer Supreme. 

 

"Why are you doing this, Stephen?" I asked him. 

 

"I _have_ to do this, Charles. Y/N is the only person in this world who's suffering I cannot bear. She has already lost her children once. I cannot let her lose them again..." he'd said. 

 

I tried to talk some sense into him. But it was all in vain. He had already made up his mind. 

 

Its a horrible feeling, watching a loved one walk towards their own death. When you can do nothing about it. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy...

 

I _begged,_ asked him to stay. Asked him to enlist the help of the other Mystics. 

 

But he didn't listen. 

 

He had a calm, serene expression on his face. He was completely at peace with his impending, probable death. 

 

He gave me a book. 

 

"Keep this book with you, Charles. In case I don't come back, I want you to keep this safe. I don't, _won't_ trust anyone else with it." 

 

It was a diary, he said. Where he had written about Y/N. Pages after pages, entry after entry. He had poured his heart out onto those pages, letting his feelings flow with the ink. 

 

 _"Please,_ make sure that Y/N never reads this..." was his final request, his eyes shining. "She doesn't need to know." 

 

"You have my word, Stephen," I had promised. 

 

And this morning, I _felt_ it. 

 

The world had lost its Sorcerer Supreme. 

And I had lost an old friend.

 

Stephen had passed on. 

 

The girls had been freed, yes. 

 

But _he_ didn't make it. 

 

He gave up his life to the demon. 

 

A bargain. 

 

A life for life. 

 

The death of a power as strong as Stephen, it is a cataclysmic event in the astral plane. 

 

It throws everything into chaos. 

 

It happened when Jean died. 

 

And now, it has happened again. 

 

On a much, _much_ larger scale. 

 

I felt his death as if it was my own. 

 

The power of it rattling me enough that I involuntarily sent an earthquake like shockwave throughout the building. 

 

The children were waking up, panicking. Screaming. 

 

Logan rushed into my room. "Professor? Are you alright?" he asked, his expression panicked. 

 

I felt a tear slip down my face. 

 

 _"Stephen...."_ I murmured.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of this chapter?


	196. Lash

Bucky's POV 

 

The past twenty four hours have been a nightmare. A total _disaster._  

 

Frankly, I'm scared. _Terrified,_ really. An emotion that is resonating among all of my teammates. Except the Twins. 

* * *

 

It all started early in the morning today. 

 

I was asleep, when Y/N suddenly sat bolt upright in bed, crying out. 

 

It was her scream that woke me up. It was a guttural, _agonized_ sound that startled me and simultaneously caused the hair on the back of my neck to stand up. 

 

"Y/N, what is it?" I asked her. 

 

She didn't reply. 

 

Just clutched at the roots of her hair while rocking back and forth, head bowed, sobs wracking her body. 

 

She was in pain, _clearly._ Her sobs were bitter, hysterical, tears streaming down her face. 

 

I was about to reach out to touch her shoulder, when the bedroom door burst open. 

 

It was Wanda. 

 

She was dressed in her pyjamas as well, obviously just woken up from sleep. 

 

"Wanda, what-" 

 

She didn't listen to me, but ran straight to Y/N, kneeling in front of her, taking her hands. 

 

"Its my fault!" Y/N cried out, her voice breaking. "Its _all_ my fault...." 

 

Wanda hugged her. "No, no, _no,_ Y/N." 

 

"What happened?" I asked, confused. What were they talking about? 

"Stephen," Wanda began, hesitantly. "He's, he's-"  

 

"He's _gone!"_ Y/N wailed. 

 

I stared at her, dumbfounded. I was shocked. Speechless. I couldn't find the words to say anything. Couldn't find my voice. 

 

Doctor Strange was.... _dead?_

 

"He died saving Jaime and Stephanie, Wanda..." Y/N hiccupped through sobs. "Its my fault. The demon.... it... it..." 

 

"I _know,_ Y/N," Wanda spoke, her voice quiet, soothing. "I felt it too." 

 

"Its not your fault," Wanda and I told her, simultaneously. 

 

There was a sudden change in Y/N's expression. She went from upset to angry. 

Her features twisted into an expression of pure rage.  

"How can you say that?" she asked, her eyes flashing. 

 

The furniture in the room began to move, the walls of the building quaking. 

 

"Y/N..." Wanda spoke calmly, her brows furrowing in concentration. 

 

"Get _out_ of my head, Wanda..." Y/N replied, stating at her, eyes burning with anger. 

 

The room, the whole building, it began to shake, furniture sliding everywhere haphazardly, making loud screeching noises. 

 

"Stay out of my head! I _mean_ it!" Y/N screamed, and the glass from the windows shattered, the shards raining down on the floor. 

 

Just then, the alarms in the building went off. Alerting everyone, calling for _immediate_ evacuation. 

 

"Y/N. Look at me!" I yelled, trying to get her attention. "Stop this!" 

 

She screamed, sending a blast of energy so powerful that Wanda and I were blown off our feet, into the air, being thrown away from her. 

 

When I landed, the air was knocked out of my lungs. 

 

I hit my head on something hard. Perhaps from the collapsing rubble? I didn't know. 

 

The last thing I remembered before passing out was the sound of the alarms still ringing as the walls came down...

* * *

 

 

I was in the hospital ER when I woke up. 

 

Dr. Helen Cho and her team were working frantically all around us. 

 

After a bit of asking around, I found out that Y/N had managed to demolish the entire upstate Avengers facility. Reducing it to rubble. 

 

Luckily, there were no casualties, thanks to Stark's evacuation program. 

 

The whole team was in the hospital. 

 

Wanda and Pietro had summoned Professor Xavier, who had managed to subdue and restrain Y/N, before she seriously hurt someone. Or _herself._  

 

"She's upset," Professor told us. "Stephen's demise has clearly affected her. More so because of her... _attachment_ to him. They shared their minds. His death has..... has _killed_ a part of her psyche, if I may say so. She lashed out because the grief.... of losing her daughters and her.... her _friend,_ has been too much for her..." 

 

"When will she wake up?" I asked. 

 

Professor looked at me, silently. 

 

"I've restrained her with great difficulty, James. She's _struggling._ Still fighting against the barriers I've created to calm her. And every time I try to talk to her telepathically...." he sighed. 

 

"What, Professor?" I asked. 

 

"She begs me to kill her..." he replied. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, obviously, Stephen's death has affected her. But to what extent? That is the question. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thoughts?


	197. I Don't Want To...

Reader's POV 

 

_Stephen?_

 

_Stephen, where are you? Can you hear me?_

 

No response. Of course there'd be no response. 

 

He's.... _he's...._

 

A fresh wave of tears stung at my eyes and I wiped them away angrily, staring up at the ceiling. 

 

Part of me was hoping for a portal to appear out of nowhere in my room and Stephen to walk out of it, dressed in his usual blue and red, walking with his usual hint of swagger... 

 

My mind kept playing all the memories I had of him.

 

_When I had first met him. Our first training session. When he had shown me his accident that changed his life. When I had healed him for the first time. When he had found Jaime and Stephanie in the astral plane and taken me there. When I had shown him my garden...when he had been attacked by Dormammu and I had shared powers with him, to banish the demon._

 

_And all the times when we had coffee together, on my favorite bench in the park. When he had saved me from the Cage, from Rumlow. When he had killed Ward.... Every time he brought me coffee or chocolates or McDonald's. That time when he had cooked for us. And when he had kissed me..._

 

_I **miss** you, Stephen. _

 

_Come back._

 

_**Please.**  _

 

I felt his death. Professor knows it. How acutely, how _vividly_ I felt his death. Like a piece of my _soul_ had been ripped away. This pain was _nothing_ like I had ever felt before. And trust me, I've had a lot of pain in my life. 

 

I feel numb. Completely _numb._  

 

I can't feel anything. 

 

Its like a huge void has taken form in me. 

 

I just.... I just _can't...._  

 

I felt like it was _me_ who was dying in that moment. I felt his pain, every bit of it. 

 

My teammates cannot understand this. 

 

Most of them think I'm mad. 

 

That I'm finally off my hinges. 

 

Maybe I am.

 

Professor and Wanda, only these two have the _slightest_ bit of understanding in them. 

The rest of my teammates are terrified. 

 

Afraid of me. 

 

To be fair, I _did_ demolish an entire Avengers facility. 

 

But still. I thought they _understood..._  

 

What I did, to the facility, it wasn't intentional. 

 

It was a mistake. 

 

And I'm glad as anyone that there were no casualties. 

 

But Fury and General Ross have arrived. 

 

There's talk among my team members that I should be given therapy, that I should be committed to an institution. 

 

I've tried asking the Professor, _begging_  him to kill me. 

 

I can't live like this. 

 

All these memories, they're so _painful._  

 

And I don't want to hurt anyone else. 

 

Least of all Bucky. I've seen how afraid _he_ is. 

 

And I'm scared that I'll _hurt_ him. 

 

He's had his fair share of pain, over the years. I don't want to hurt him. 

 

He's the only one good thing that remains in my life. 

 

If I were to lose him, I'd lose whatever little bit of sanity I have left. 

 

I've already lost Steve. And Stephen. 

 

I don't want to hurt him.

 

_I miss Stephen so much. It **hurts.**  _

 

Every second feels like I'm being smothered and suffocated. I can't breathe. 

I miss his smiles. His deep, reassuring voice. How he called me 'darling' every now and then, making me blush involuntarily. 

I feel like I'm in a room full of people, screaming at the top of my lungs, but no one can hear me. 

 

I can't _be_ here. 

 

I don't want to hurt anyone else. Especially Bucky. 

 

I've lost Stephen. 

 

I don't want to lose anyone else. 

 

I calmly pull out my laptop. 

 

Taking a deep breath, I start typing out an email.

 

To: Nicholas J Fury. 

 

Email subject: 

 

_Letter of Resignation_

 


	198. Leaving

Reader's POV 

 

"This is _bullshit!"_ Tony cried out, slapping his hand on the table. "You _can't_ accept her resignation, Nick!" 

 

Fury looked calmly at him. "I can and I have, Tony." 

 

Tony looked furious. He opened his mouth to protest, but Fury held up his hand, silencing him. 

 

"Y/N has been through a lot. If she needs some time to heal, its the least we can give her. This is for her own good, Tony." 

He turned to me. "The door will always be open for you, Y/N, should you wish to rejoin us." 

 

Fury got up, shook my hand and departed swiftly, leaving Tony and me alone in the meeting room. 

 

A tense silence hung in the air. I knew that Tony was angry that I was leaving. He was the first and _only_ person, apart from Fury, who knew of my departure plans. 

 

It was only fair that I approached him. He was the _first_ real friend I had made, when I began working with the Avengers, in the research department. My friendship with him happened _long_ before my relationships with Bucky, Steve or Ste- 

 

Just the thought of his name made my eyes sting with tears. 

 

"I know you miss him, Y/N," Tony said, reaching out to place his hand on mine. "But are you sure you want to do this?" 

 

I nodded. "There is no other way." 

 

"And what about the team? You're not telling Cap or Frosty?" 

 

I shook my head. "I need to get away from here. To be alone for some time. If Bucky and Steve came to know, they'll _insist_  on coming along. And if they do and I end up hurting them..." I took a shuddering breath, wiping at my eyes. "I _cannot_ lose them like Stephen. I mean.... I ended up destroying an entire Avengers facility! _Your_ facility!" 

 

"Fuck the facility," he quipped, making me chuckle. "It was just a warehouse. My _father's_ warehouse. And, we'll rebuild it." 

 

"But the cost-" 

 

"Sweetheart, I'm a _billionaire._ Please, _relax,"_ he said, making me laugh again. "But are you _totally_ sure that you want to go?" he asked, suddenly turning serious. 

 

I nodded. 

 

"Okay," Tony sighed, running a hand over his face. "I mean, it _is_ your choice in the end...." 

 

"Yes, Tony. This is my choice," I said. "Don't tell the others until I've gone. And _please,_ don't let Bucky do anything stupid. Promise me." 

 

"I promise. I'll keep Frosty safe. You have my word." 

 

"Do you have the number?" I asked him. 

 

"Yeah," he said, pulling a business card out of his pocket. "The money from your account has been wired in to him already. Just make the call when you're ready." 

 

Tony knew a guy who's speciality was to make people "disappear". As in, give them a new identity, new passport, new social security. The works. 

 

But these formalities were _expensive_ as hell and they had almost wiped out my savings.

 

I took the card from his hand. Standing up, I hugged him. 

 

"I'll miss you, Tony," I whispered. "Don't party too hard." 

 

"It won't be a party with you gone, kid," he said, hugging me tight. "I'll miss you too." 

 

When I pulled away, he looked at me. "You're all packed up?" 

 

I nodded. "My stuff is at my old apartment." 

 

"Alright," he said. "Don't hesitate to contact me if you need _anything._ Okay?" 

 

"Okay," I said. 

 

We looked at each other for a long moment. 

 

"Take my private elevator. It'll take you straight outside," he said, turning away from me, his voice sounding suspiciously like he was going to cry. 

 

I wanted to ask him if he was okay, to hug him again, but it would only make the situation worse. 

 

So I left. 

 

"Goodbye, Tony," I said, stepping into the elevator. 

 

Once I had reached downstairs, I hailed a cab to my apartment. 

 

Gathering my things was the easiest part. There wasn't much to take. 

 

Once I was all packed and ready, I pulled out the card from my pocket.

 

Typing in the number, I dialled.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	199. Rockies

Reader's POV 

 

_Stephen?_

 

_Can you hear me?_

 

I call out to him, the moment I wake up from sleep. _First_ thing in the morning. 

 

Hoping that....just in case... 

 

But there is no response. 

 

There never is. 

* * *

 

Its been three weeks since I made my departure, leaving behind my life with the Avengers. 

 

Three incredibly _long_ weeks. 

 

I've settled down, in a small and secluded cabin, somewhere in the Canadian Rockies. 

 

That is the best idea of my location that I have, the area is so far away, so remote. 

 

Its just me. 

 

The mountains. 

 

The silence. 

 

And the grief. 

* * *

 

My daughters have left. They departed for the Afterlife. 

 

Stephen made a bargain with Dormammu, so that my girls' souls, their last remnants, would be safe. 

 

They're far away now. From me. From this world. 

 

I'll see them again, one day. That is what I keep telling myself. 

 

But I just.... I just _wish_ they had said goodbye. 

 

_I'll miss you, Jaime and Stephanie._

 

_We'll be together again one day._

* * *

 

A fresh wave of tears sting my eyes and I wipe them away. 

 

I can hear the quiet rustling of fabric and the Cloak of Levitation floats through the air. 

 

On its own volition, the corner of the crimson fabric rises to gently wipe at my cheeks, wiping my tears.

 

The gesture is sweet, and so, so painful too. 

 

How many times had the owner of this cape wiped my tears away, _just_ like this? 

 

The reminder, it made my body wrack with sobs. 

 

I clutched at the fabric, pulling it to me, burying my face into its velvety softness. 

 

So warm and comforting. 

 

And it smelled of amber and chamomile tea and a hint of his cologne. 

 

 _Stephen._  

 

I cried and _cried,_ clutching the cloak. 

* * *

 

It was the Cloak that found me. It had been two days since I had settled into this cabin, getting used to my new name, my new identity, my new life, when there was a knock on the door. 

 

I certainly wasn't expecting anyone, and became immediately paranoid. 

 

_Had I been compromised?_

 

_Was it HYDRA?_

 

But my fears were allayed the moment I opened the door. It was Stephen's _cloak_ outside, floating in the air. 

 

For a wild moment, the sight of that familiar red made my heart beat faster. I thought Stephen had returned. _Somehow. Miraculously._  

 

But there was no Stephen. Just the cloak. 

I brought it in. Kept it with me. 

 

The Cloak of Levitation was a fickle relic, but it had developed an affinity to me. 

 

The cloak came to me. On its own. 

 

And that in itself was a testament of how _much_ Stephen wanted to protect me. 

 

I cried that day, clutching the cloak, holding it close. 

 

It was the only tangible reminder of Stephen that I had. 

 

 _Doctor Stephen Strange._ What an enigma he was. 

* * *

 

The arrival of the cloak made me feel a little better. 

 

Considering the fact that I had left all the other aspects of my life behind. 

 

Bucky and Steve. 

 

My girls were gone. 

 

Stephen was gone. 

 

But his cloak came. It found me.

 

Its presence comforted me somewhat. 

* * *

 

The whole situation, it makes me think about the different types of love a person can experience. 

 

Bucky's love was _wild,_ almost possessive. He depended on me, just as much as I needed him. He was my anchor. He was with me, through thick and thin. It was a deep, _desperate_ type of love. Even when he'd make love to me, there was a searing passion in him. We truly wanted to become one with the other. To disappear and lose ourselves in each other....

* * *

 

Stephen loved me. It was undeniable. Our connection never needed to be physical. We knew each others souls. We were so familiar with each other, despite there being almost negligible physical intimacy between us. Except for those three kisses we shared. Those moments were the ones when I truly felt alive. And _free._ That kind of uninhibited freedom is rare. He even sacrificed his _life,_ for a love that he knew could never be entirely his...

* * *

 

I feel like the luckiest girl, when I think about Stephen and Bucky. 

 

I _try_ not to think about Steve.

 

It just.... I don't think there is anything left there. He has his son. He chose the life he has. Let him be. As long as he's happy, I'm happy. 

 

Sometimes I want to think back, to all the times where my relationship with Steve had begun to show its first cracks. But then I remind myself that what's done is done. 

 

We need to move ahead. 

* * *

 

I will try my best, to stay away from Bucky. To protect him. Its for the best. 

 

I cannot lose him, like Stephen. 

 

I can't...

 

I won't be able to bear it. 

 

Not again. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exams and illness, people. That's why I've been missing. So sorry. Trying to write as much as I can again. 
> 
> Thoughts?


	200. Piece Of Hope

Bucky's POV 

 

She left. 

 

That's it. 

 

She up and fucking left. 

 

Packed her bags, told no one and just _left._  

My feelings about it, you ask? 

 

Well, they're pretty mixed up. 

 

On one hand, I can _completely_ understand her decision. She's had enough. Steve really put her through her paces, tested her patience until it finally snapped. HYDRA left her with lasting scars, changed her life, forever.

And believe me, I _know_ how it feels when HYDRA fucks you up. I could see a glimmer of hope in her eyes, when she was with Stephen. She _laughed._ She smiled. I had hoped, against all hope, that she was going to recover. Stephen and I, we had a silent understanding: _we were going to help her._

And then he was taken away from her _too._  

 

She blames herself for it. I _know_ it. Stephen's demise is not her fault, but I know her. She blames herself. 

 

And I know the reason why she left, too: _she wants to protect me._

 

I know her as well as I know myself, and if I am right, this is the _only_ reason she left. She wants to protect me. She doesn't want me to get hurt. She doesn't want to lose me. 

 

I _get_ that. I totally understand where she's coming from. Under the current circumstances, I can understand her decision. 

 

But I just.... I just _wish_ that she had spoken to me about leaving first. 

 

I wouldn't have stopped her. No. 

 

The pain in her eyes, I cannot see it. I'd die for her, without hesitation, but I _cannot_ see her suffer. 

 

She is the one good thing left for me in this world. 

 

I love her. And I _always_ will. 

 

But I can't shake off this feeling in the back of my mind: _was I not enough?_

 

Why did she leave without telling me? 

 

Was I not enough for her? 

 

I would have let her go. 

 

All she needed was to _talk_ to me about it.

 

I just.... I don't know what to do anymore. Life without Y/N, its quite a bleak prospect to be honest. 

 

Steve has his son. 

 

Stephen is gone. 

 

I am left all alone. 

 

Always ending up with the short end of the stick. 

 

I'm trying to move on, believe me. 

 

I'm trying to live my life as normally as possible. 

 

Training the Maximoffs, working with the team. Doing my job. Anything to distract me from Y/N's abrupt departure. 

 

This facade of normality, I don't know how long I'll be able to pull it off. I'm falling apart on the inside, without her. 

 

The nightmares have found their way back. 

 

Steve wants to help, has reached out. 

But I've brushed him off. 

 

He's already done enough. Let him have a few moments of peace with his child. 

 

He doesn't need to babysit me. I don't need his pity. His consolation. 

 

_I'll be fine._

 

And you know what? I'm sure Y/N and I will be together again one day. 

 

How can I be so sure about it, you ask? 

 

Its because she took with her the engagement ring I had given her. That simple gesture, it gives me a _profound_ sense of hope. 

 

She _still_ loves me. It isn't over. 

 

I know it. 

 

The pain is temporary. 

 

Let her heal. 

 

Let her recover. 

 

She will come back to me when she's ready. 

 

And I will _always_ be waiting for her. 

 

Like Steve says, _I could do this all day. **Every** day._

 

And when she comes back, I'll take her away with me, far away from here. 

 

We'll have a new life. 

 

That's the _only_ piece of hope I'm hanging on to right now. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, this is not the end.   
> Thoughts? Predictions?


	201. Mantle

Reader's POV 

 

It was a tug of Stephen's cloak that woke me up. 

 

"Mmmm.... Let me sleep...." I groaned, turning away. 

 

But the cloak tugged harder at my hand, more insistent than before.

 

"What is it?" I asked, irritably sitting up. 

 

It was then that I heard it. 

 

The sound of someone tinkering around in my kitchen. 

 

_An intruder?_

 

 _Seriously?_  

 

_I was in hiding for God's sake!_

 

I had taken every possible measure to keep myself away, from being found. 

 

Funnily enough, instead of being afraid that this intruder was going to harm me, I was _curious._  

 

Because I could smell the scent of chamomile tea wafting in. 

 

And there was only _one_ person I knew, who drank it. 

 

Getting up and putting my robe on hurriedly, I went to the kitchen, expecting that somehow _he_ had come back. 

 

The cloak followed me. 

 

"Ah, you're awake," came a gentle female voice, making my heart sink. 

 

_It wasn't him..._

 

I saw a tall, bald woman, dressed in powder grey robes standing in the kitchen, a cup of steaming tea in hand. 

 

"Who are you?" I asked, slipping into her mind, in case she didn't choose to respond. 

"I'm the Ancient One," she replied, smiling. 

 

 _You're strong enough to penetrate my mind,_ she mused. _I underestimated you._

 

 _Clearly,_ I replied. _Why are you here?_

 

"Would you like some tea?" she asked, holding out the cup to me. "How much honey do you take?" 

 

"One spoonful," I replied. "Why are you here?" 

 

"I'm here to talk to you," she said, stirring in the honey before handing the cup to me. 

 

"About Stephen?" I asked. 

 

Her eyes widened in surprise. It had only taken me a few moments to skim through her mind, to find out exactly who she was. She was Stephen's mentor. From Kamar - Taj. The one who had trained him in the Mystic Arts. 

 

"Yes," she replied. "May I sit down?" she asked, gesturing to one of the chairs.

 

I nodded. She sat down in the chair, moving so gracefully that it almost looked like she was floating.

 

"If you're here for his cloak, I'm not giving it back," I said, flatly. 

 

She laughed. "I'm not here for it, Y/N. Stephen loved you and his cloak _chose_ you." 

 

As if on cue, the cloak flew up behind me and settled down on my shoulders, the collar tickling my cheek. 

 

 _"Stop_ it..." I murmured to it, turning to the Ancient One, who had an amused expression on her face. 

 

I just realized how ridiculous I must look, dressed in my night clothes and Stephen's cloak. 

 

"As I said," she continued. "The cloak chose _you._ That is why I'm here."  

 

"What do you want?" I asked impatiently. 

 

"I need your help," she sighed. "Earth has lost its Sorcerer Supreme.... And Stephen always spoke highly of you. He considered you to be a worthy successor." 

 

"You want me to guard the Sanctum...?" I asked. 

 

She shook her head. "I need you to assume the mantle of Sorcerer Supreme..." 

I snorted. "No way." 

 

The idea, the very thought of it was ridiculous. I wasn't capable of such responsibility. 

 

_Absolutely not!_

 

"You didn't let me finish," she spoke, patiently, standing up to walk over to me. "I need you to assume the mantle of Sorcerer Supreme.... _until_ Stephen comes back." 

 

I stared at her, blankly, _shocked._  

 

"What are you saying? Stephen is gone..."

 

She shook her head. "He's alive. And only _you_ can bring him back..." 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	202. Son

Steve's POV 

 

"I just wish you'd had the chance to meet your sisters, Steven," I told my son, holding him in my arms, standing in front of the memorial Y/N had built for Jaime and Stephanie. 

 

Behind me, the upstate Avengers facility, formerly a Stark Industries warehouse, was undergoing reconstruction. 

 

"They were such _beautiful_ girls, son," I sighed, listening to Steven make incoherent gurgling sounds, his blue eyes staring up at me with wonder. 

 

He reached out with his chubby little hand and touched my cheek, cooing quietly. 

 

"You're all I have left now," I said to him, feeling the tears begin to sting at my eyes. 

 

Y/N was gone. 

 

Stephen's death was the final blow to her. 

And I had lost my best friend too. 

 

Bucky and I, we're.... _distant_ nowadays. 

 

I've tried to talk to him, to offer him my help. To _try_ to just start making amends.... but he keeps me at arm's length. 

 

He's withdrawn into a shell. Doesn't smile, doesn't laugh. I only see him while we all train together. That's all. Otherwise he is confined to his room, and he refuses to come out. 

 

"I'm _fine,_ Steve," he says, trying to sound like he means it, but there's no mistaking the weariness, the exhaustion in his voice. "I don't need your help."

 

The recent chain of events, its been shattering for most of us. Its my fault. _Entirely_ my fault. 

 

Yet there are others, Y/N and Bucky who have to bear the brunt of my mistakes, _my_ actions. 

 

I've torn everything apart. 

 

What's done, the guilt of it, it will haunt me forever. 

 

I don't think there is anything for me to do, that will set it all right. 

 

Y/N's departure, it has taken the life away from the team. From Bucky.  

 

And from me. 

 

I've been staying up all night, for many nights, trying to find her whereabouts. 

 

I _need_ to bring her back. 

 

I still love her. I really do. 

 

But most of all, I need to bring her back for _Bucky._  

 

Because Y/N was the reason that there was life in Bucky's eyes. 

 

He's gradually turning back into the same hollow shell of a man that he had been when we found him. He's unraveling without her, I can sense it.

 

This isn't fair. Not to Y/N. And not to Bucky. 

 

I will _not_ let them suffer the repercussions of my mistakes. 

 

I have to bring them back together. 

 

I have to let them _be_ together. 

 

They deserve each other. And they deserve a happy life...

 

Steven wrapped his arms around my neck, gurgling and bringing me back from my thoughts. 

 

"I still love her, Junior," I told my son. He stared up at me blankly with those adorable blue eyes. "I still love her so _much,_ but she won't take me back. Not after what I've done to her..." 

 

I felt hot tears running down my face. Wiping them away, I hugged my son tighter. "You're _all_ I have left, son..." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still have mixed feelings about the Reader's possible reunion with Steve. Gah! So confused! 
> 
> Thoughts?


	203. Mess

Stephen's POV

 

"Wake _up,_ Stephen..." came her overtly sweet voice, puling me out of my stupor. 

 

I cringed at the sound of her voice. Opening my eyes, I saw her standing in front of me, grinning smugly, looking so very _pleased_ with herself. 

 

"What are you doing here, Clea?" I asked her, my voice hoarse from the lack of use. "What do you want?" 

 

She chuckled. 

 

Kneeling down to my level, she reached out to gently touch the cursed shackles her uncle had placed on my wrists and ankles. 

 

"Can't I visit my husband? Ask after his well-being?" she asked, her eyes deceptively innocent, her voice dripping with sweetness. 

 

"Fuck you and your uncle..." I spat at her. 

 

Her hand snapped forward, landing a hard slap across my cheek. In my weakened state, the blow hit me harder than it should have. I winced.

 

 _"Bitch..."_ I muttered. 

 

She chuckled again. 

 

"Why are you so happy?" I asked, warily. 

 

"I'm happy, dear husband, because everything is working according to plan!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands together excitedly. "Its all falling into place!" 

 

I felt a rush of dread. "No... _Impossible..."_  

 

She laughed, throwing her head back, taking obvious delight in my horror. "She's coming here, you know? Your sweet little Y/N..." 

 

"No.... _NO!"_ I lunged at her, swiping wildly, but the shackles and chains held me back, while she jumped back, out of my reach, doubling over with laughter. 

 

"You stay away from her..." I warned her. 

 

"Or you'll do _what?"_ Clea asked. "I have your Sling Ring, I have the Eye of Agamotto. You can't run, you can't escape. And now.... You're bringing me the ultimate prize... Your sweet little slut." 

 

I knew exactly what she had planned for Y/N. The mere thought of it, it made my skin crawl...

 

"Your sweet girl will come to the Dark Dimension, Stephen, with the hopes of rescuing you. I'll capture her and _sacrifice_ her, harvesting her powers and gifting them to my uncle..." she had told me. 

 

"Then I'll kill her right in front of you eyes, in a way that will make your soul tremble in fear, Stephen," she'd promised. "You've spent so much, trying to protect her.... And I'll take her away from you, making you _watch."_  

 

I had almost been sure that Y/N wasn't going to come. A thought that greatly relieved me. 

 

Until Clea showed me the Ancient One's visit to Y/N. 

 

"Only _you_ can bring him back," the Ancient One told Y/N. 

 

And she readily agreed. 

 

She agreed to undergo training, to become the Master of the New York Sanctum, to come to the Dark Dimension. 

 

All to rescue _me._

 

Clea and Dormammu, they had drained me of my powers and stolen my relics. I had nothing to protect Y/N with. I had sent my Cloak to her, with the hope that it'd keep her safe. 

 

Away from harm. 

 

And away from my insane ex-wife and her family. 

 

"Rest assured, Stephen. She's coming," Clea spoke, an extremely pleased smile dancing on her lips. A smile that I yearned to slap right off her face. 

"Y/N will do _anything_ to save her beloved Sorcerer Supreme..." she giggled. 

"And once I've killed her and given her powers to Dormammu, you and I will be together again, Stephen." 

 

"Not if she kills you first, Clea," I said, watching in delight as her face contorted with rage. "She's _far_ stronger, far purer than you." 

 

"I will kill her, Stephen!" she shrieked. _Obviously, I had struck a nerve there._

 

Clea was strong, yes. But she was blinded by her arrogance. So much so that it made her commit silly mistakes. 

 

That was the _only_ card I could play here, provoking her until she did something stupid. 

 

Hopefully, that would be able to buy Y/N some time to finish her off in battle. 

 

But, in the meantime, all I could do was _pray._  

 

Pray for her safety. 

 

Pray for her protection. 

 

And pray that she doesn't come to this wretched dimension to rescue me.  

 

She's already suffered enough. 

 

And I knew for a fact that Dormammu held a grudge against her, because she helped me vanquish him once. Also, he lusted after her powers...

 

Clea on the other hand, she was jealous that Y/N had grown stronger than her. But more than that, she was jealous of the place Y/N held in my heart. 

 

My sadistic ex-wife just wasn't going to give up on my so easily it seemed. She still seemed to be nursing the delusions that she and I were going to be together one day. 

 

I've made peace with my imprisonment. I don't want Y/N to come here and put her life on the line for me. Not _again._  

 

 _Y/N, darling, please, **please** don't come here_. 

 

That's all I can hope for. 

 

That she doesn't come here. I can suffer my crazy in-laws for all eternity. 

 

But Y/N, she doesn't need to be involved in this mess. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?   
> And yes, there's a showdown coming soon.


	204. Bargain

Reader's POV 

 

 _Nothing_ in the world could have prepared me for my first trip to the Dark Dimension. 

 

I had been practicing with the Ancient One. Learning the spells, training. Sparring. 

She gave me a Sling Ring, and taught me its use. "Use this to open a portal into the Dark Dimension," she'd said, handing me the Ring. 

 

When I felt sufficiently prepared, I suited up, and opened up the portal. 

 

Just before I was about to step into it, Stephen's Cloak came floating and gracefully positioned itself on my shoulders. 

 

"You think I'm ready?" I asked it. The crimson fabric caressed my cheek in response. 

 

"Alright then, here we go," I said, taking a deep breath and stepping into the portal. 

* * *

 

 

The Dark Dimension. 

 

How _aptly_ named it was. 

 

All I could see was pitch black darkness, everywhere I looked. 

 

Infinite darkness stretching out ahead of me, the only source of light was a dull purplish glow, coming from the 'ground' I walked upon. 

 

But the _feel_ of this dimension, that is what made me uneasy. It was as if _all_ my negative emotions were heightened here. 

 

Fear, anger, evilness, negativity, sorrow, despair, hopelessness, this dimension radiated it. And _thrived_ on it. 

 

I could sense an omnipresent malevolence in this dimension. I couldn't see it. But I could _sense_ it. 

 

Dormammu. 

 

It _had_ to be him. 

 

I clutched Stephen's cloak around me for security, out of instinct. 

 

I _hated_ this place. 

* * *

 

"Stephen!" I called out. 

 

My voice echoed everywhere, but there was no response. 

 

I kept walking, hoping to find him and leave this dreadful place as soon as I could. 

 

But suddenly, there was a burst of energy and a woman appeared. Out of thin air. 

 

She was tall, graceful, with piercing blue eyes and silvery blonde hair. She was so beautiful. 

 

This had to be her. 

 

It couldn't be anyone else. 

 

"Hello, Clea," I said. 

 

She smiled cruelly, confirming my suspicion. 

"Welcome, Y/N," she said. 

 

"Where's Stephen?" I asked. 

 

She didn't reply, just walked towards me, her gaze appraising me. 

 

"His cloak has a fondness for you," she said, her voice honey sweet as she circled me slowly. Trying to intimidate me. "His cloak never liked me," she sighed.

 

"I wonder why," I retorted. 

 

She laughed softly. "You have wit," she said, playing with a lock of my hair, holding it between her fingers. "You have strength. But you are weaker than me, Y/N. I wonder what he saw in you, that he's so enamoured with you. I mean, you're certainly lesser than me in the looks department. Such an _ordinary_ girl," she tsked. "I don't know why he's so taken with you. You're nothing like me." 

 

I smiled at her. "You're right, Clea," I said. "I'm _nothing_ like you." 

 

She grabbed my face roughly, her nails digging into my cheeks, her eyes suddenly hateful. "You can't take him away from me!" she shrieked. 

 

"Actually," I spoke, summoning my powers. "I _can,"_ I replied, sending a blast of energy at her. 

 

It hit her straight in the chest, and she flew back with a scream. 

 

"Find Stephen," I commanded the cloak. "Bring him here," I told it, bracing myself for the battle. The cloak flew off my shoulders, disappearing into the darkness.

* * *

 

Clea and I were locked in a fight. She was stronger than I had anticipated. 

 

"Stephen is _mine!"_ she yelled, throwing a series of blades of light that she had conjured of of thin air, at me. 

 

I deftly dodged most of them, before catching one and throwing it back at her. It hit her in the shoulder. 

 

"Bitch!" she cried out, lunging at me. 

 

I swirled my hands, forming a force field around me, repelling her. 

 

"I'll kill you!" she attacked me with a sword of light, lashing at me with it violently. 

 

She was losing focus, I could see. Her mind was overcome by pure rage. 

 

She was going to falter, and that's when I'd take her. 

 

"You can't touch me," I said, grinning at her, wiping the blood from the corner of my mouth. "You weak, pathetic little-" 

 

Her face contorted with anger, her eyes bulging out. Letting out a battle cry, she threw herself at me, slashing violently with her sword. 

 

Using a restraining spell that the Ancient One has taught me, I caught her in a force field. Using telekinesis, I wrenched the sword out of her hands, stabbing her through the abdomen with it. 

 

She cried out and fell to the ground, clutching the wound, bleeding. 

 

 _"Enough!"_ a deep, disembodied voice cried out. 

 

There was a flash and through the darkness, Dormammu materialized. 

 

"You _dare?"_ the demon asked me, his giant eyes staring menacingly.

 

I grasped Clea by her silvery hair, holding her blade to her neck with my other hand. 

"Uncle.... Help me...." she pleaded. 

 

"I have a bargain," I spoke, addressing Dormammu. "Let Stephen go. Release him. Return the Eye of Agamotto..." 

 

"Or else?" the demon challenged, leering at me. 

 

I pressed the blade into Clea's neck, nicking her skin. "I'll kill your niece. Release Stephen or I'll kill your heir, Dormammu. I swear it!" 

 

The demon stared at me, his eyes glowing bright. He was contemplating my offer, I could tell. 

 

 _"Please,_ Uncle..." Clea begged.

 

The demon groaned loudly. "Fine," he said, his voice resonant. "Take him!" 

 

There was a flash of light and Stephen appeared on the ground next to me. 

 

He was barely conscious, his hands clutching the Eye of Agamotto. "Y/N," he breathed. "You _came..."_  

 

I pushed Clea away towards her uncle, before quickly opening up a portal in the air. 

 

Grasping Stephen's hand, I drew him into the portal with me. 

* * *

 

We materialized back in my cabin. 

 

I hadn't even realized that Stephen's cloak was back on my shoulders. 

 

I was so _relieved_ to see that he was alive. 

"Stephen," I cupped his cheek, channelling my energy into him. 

 

He gasped, his eyes lighting up as I healed him with my powers. 

 

"Are you alright?" I asked him. 

 

His hand reached up and wound into my hair, pulling me to him. He pressed his forehead against mine. "You saved me, darling..." he whispered. _"Again."_  

 

It felt so good to see him. To hear his voice. For that one moment, I felt _truly_ happy. 

 

"I _had_ to," I replied, smiling at him. 

 

He pressed a chaste kiss to my lips. "You look very fetching in my cloak," he said, when he pulled away from me. 

 

I laughed. 

 

For the first time since I had come to this cabin, I actually _laughed._  

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	205. I Don't Want To Go Back

Reader's POV 

 

"Your ex wife is _mad,_ Stephen," I told him, stirring the soup into a bowl for him. 

 

He chuckled, but his laugh broke off in a wince and he clutched at his ribs. 

 

"What's wrong?" I asked, hurrying over to him. 

 

"Its nothing, darling. I'll be alright," he assured me. 

 

I brought him the soup, placing the bowl on front of him. "Its not as good as the tarts that you used to make for me..." I said, apologetically. 

 

"Nonsense," he said, taking a sip of the soup. "Its quite good, Y/N." 

 

"Yeah?" I asked, beginning to cut a few slices of bread for him. 

 

He nodded. "I've been _starving_ for days now," he said. 

 

I felt a surge of sadness, just looking at him. His time in the Dark Dimension had weakened him considerably. 

 

His cheeks had hollowed out, making him look gaunt and pale, and he had dark circles under his eyes. 

 

He was weak. _Very_ weak. 

 

But he was here. _Alive._  

 

 _Safe._  

 

That's what made me happy. 

 

We sat at the small table in the kitchen area, eating soup and bread in a comfortable silence. 

 

Then he spoke. 

 

"So.... what about you and Bucky?" Stephen asked, his voice careful. Measured. 

 

I looked at him. "I.... I don't know," I said, looking down at my bowl. "I didn't exactly _talk_ to him before leaving..." 

 

"Y/N...." Stephen sighed, running a hand over his face. "You shouldn't have done this, darling." 

 

I looked at him. "I know it was wrong of me but-" 

 

He looked at me, his eyes pained. "You had a good thing going on with him. He loves you. You love him. He makes you happy.... You shouldn't have left him in the lurch like this." 

 

"But I had to come here! I destroyed an entire Avengers facility, Stephen! I didn't want to hurt Bucky.... Not after losing you... I mean, I _felt_ your death..." I said, tears brimming into my eyes as I tried to explain myself. 

 

"Y/N," he reached out and took my hand in his. "I love you, and I understand your thought process.... But isn't your leaving Bucky similar to the time Steve left you? When you needed him the most? Didn't Steve say that he kept his distance to protect you from further harm?" 

 

I looked at him, trying to find a point to justify my actions. But I knew, deep down, that he had the right of it. 

 

What I had done to Bucky wasn't different from what Steve had done to me. 

 

"Oh, _god,"_ I said, placing a hand over my mouth, closing my eyes as the tears flowed down my cheeks. _Now_ the realization was hitting me. 

 

The implications of my actions, I had tried to keep them buried away in a corner of my mind, telling myself that it was the right thing. Leaving Bucky was for the greater good. For _his_ protection. 

 

But I was wrong. And only Stephen, the voice of reason in my life, the person who knew my mind, my soul better than anyone, could have made me see it. 

 

He was my mirror, in a way. 

 

Suddenly, he moved closer, placing his hands on my shoulders, pulling me into a hug. 

 

"Bucky will hate me.... He'll think I'm a hypocrite..." I sobbed. 

 

 _"No,_ darling," Stephen said, running a hand over my head. "He loves you. He'll understand. It hurts him, yes. But he will understand...." 

 

I pulled away from him, looking up at him. "Do you think I should go back?" I asked him. 

 

He smiled at me and pulled me close again. "I can't make that decision for you, darling. You go back, _only_ if you want to go back..." 

"I _don't_ want to go back, Stephen," I whispered, a tear trickling down the side of my nose. "I've already lost too much in that world. I just want to be here.... Its peaceful here.... I'm slowly starting to feel like I could be _happy_ again.... I'm scared to go back."  

 

He hummed quietly, hugging me close, rocking back and forth. The same way a mother soothes a weeping infant. 

 

"Do you want _me_ to be here?" he asked eventually. 

 

I hesitated. "I.... I can't keep the Sorcerer Supreme away from his duties." 

 

"Nonsense," he said, placing a kiss on my forehead. "I'm staying," he said, in a tone that rang with finality. 

 

"I like it here with you," he said. "I'm not leaving you here alone." 

 

I couldn't help the smile that appeared on my face, through my tears. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	206. This Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few moments of peace with the Sorcerer Supreme

Reader's POV 

 

I woke up with a start, my eyes orienting themselves to the darkness of the night. 

 

It took me a while to realize what had woken me up from the most comfortable sleep I've had in quite a long time. 

 

It wasn't the fact that there was currently a blizzard raging outside, the wind making an ominous whistling sound as it blew. 

 

It wasn't that I'd had a nightmare. 

 

Murmuring in my half sleepy state, I reached out absently, my hand finding the sheets beside me empty and cold. 

 

Stephen wasn't here with me, and _that_ is what had woken me up. 

 

I sat up slowly, calling out his name, my voice a little hoarse. 

 

There was no response. 

 

Rubbing the sleepiness away from my eyes, I got up and saw that the bathroom door was open. 

 

And the light was on. 

 

"Stephen!" 

 

He was sitting on the floor, his cheek pressed against the cool tiles of the wall, eyes closed. 

 

I hurried over to him. "What happened?" 

 

At the sound of my voice, he jumped slightly, as if I had woken him up from a stupor. 

 

"Y/N... Did I wake you up?" he asked, looking at me, his eyes looking so, _so_ tired, the dark circles under them more profound, so much so that they looked like purple bruises. 

 

I ignored his question. Here he was, obviously ill. _Still_ asking after my well-being. 

 

 _Classic Stephen._  

 

I shook my head and reached out to cup his cheek, turning him to face me. He was slumped against the wall. "Are you alright?" I asked him. "What happened?" 

 

He looked at me apologetically. "I got sick," he said. 

 

"Stephen," I said, exhaling. "You should've woken me up." 

 

He shook his head. "Its nothing serious-" 

Always trying to play it off.

 

"Bullshit," I said. "How many times?" 

 

"Twice," he sighed, running a hand over his face. 

 

I stroked his black and silver hair, sweeping them off his sweaty forehead. "We need to get you to a hospital." 

 

"No-" he began, but I interrupted him. 

 

"Stephen, you're not well. I need to get you to a hospital in case this gets worse!" I said. 

 

He shook his head. _"No,_ no hospital. Have you seen the weather outside?" 

 

I looked at him. He looked so weak. "Stephen, but I-" 

 

 _"Shhh,"_ he hushed me. "Get me a tablet. An antiemetic. I'll be fine." 

 

I could see that there was going to be no point in arguing with him. 

 

So instead I got a warm washcloth and cleaned his face, letting him brush his teeth, before helping him to his feet and taking him back into our room. 

 

I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water for him. And some saltine crackers. 

 

Giving him the tablets and the water, I made sure that he took them, before I  helped him eat something to settle his stomach. 

 

After much coaxing on my part, he managed to eat only two crackers. 

 

"That's enough, darling," he said. "I don't want to eat more." 

 

I lay him back down on the bed, turning off the lights and covering him with the blankets. 

 

"Come on," he said, patting my side of the bed. "I won't be able to sleep without you." 

 

Despite my worry for his health, I couldn't help but smile. 

 

I curled up under the covers, next to him. My arms wrapped around him, my head tucked under his chin. His own arms tightened around me, instinctively. 

 

He placed a kiss to the top of my head. The sweetness of this gesture, it made me smile. 

 

He must've felt it. 

 

"What is it?" he asked, his deep voice reverberating in his chest. 

 

I didn't know what to say. There were no words to describe this moment. Being here, with him, in these mountains, in this tiny cabin, on this night, I felt happy.

 

 _Truly_ happy. 

 

I felt _safe._  

 

I felt I could spend _forever_ in this moment. 

 

This was our little world. 

 

Away from everything else. 

 

It almost felt like a dream. 

 

And at the same time, along with the happiness and the security, I couldn't help but be afraid. 

 

Afraid that something was going to come along and destroy this. 

 

He must've read my thoughts...

 

"Hey," he said, taking my hand in his, lacing his fingers with mine. "You're thinking too much." 

 

I felt a lump in my throat. 

 

Raising his hand to my lips, our fingers still intertwined, I kissed it. Over and over. Along the welts and scars that the aftermath of that horrible car crash had left him with. 

 

When I looked up at him, he had a tender look on his face, his eyes shining. 

 

"I'm _happy_ with you, Stephen," I said. "I love you." 

 

It was the truth. 

 

"I don't want to lose you-" 

 

He silenced me, pressing his lips to mine in a gentle, delicate kiss... 

 

We pulled away after a long moment. 

 

He ran his fingers through my hair, bringing me close to kiss the tip of my nose. 

 

"I love you _too,_ darling," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "You will _never_ lose me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	207. Smoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky contemplates...

Bucky's POV 

 

_One month, two days and thirteen hours._

 

 _That's_ how long Y/N has been gone. 

 

And my patience feels like it is about to snap. 

 

I need to fucking _do_ something about it. 

 

Considering the things that she has been through, I'm trying to cut Y/N some slack. 

I _really_ am. 

 

But, its just that... I'm _tired_ of being taken for granted all the fucking time! 

 

_No.... Wait..._

 

That was a horrible thing to say. To _think._  

 

 _You're losing your mind, Buck,_ I tell myself. 

 

Y/N was with me, through and through, when I had begun reorienting myself with the world of today. She guided me through it all, with utmost, unflinching patience. 

 

She handled my anxiety attacks, my nightmares and my bouts of violence, where I would inadvertently end up hurting her. 

 

 _James, she's made you the man you are today,_ I remind myself. _If anything, you owe her._

 

The reason why I'm able to carry on with my life, away from the shadow of my past, is Y/N. 

 

She cared for me, more than Steve did, if I daresay. 

 

She wants a few moments of peace, some time off to cope, I need to give her that. 

 

Y/N has been through _hell_ this past year. The last thing I want to do is to impose myself on her. 

 

The whole arrangement between her and Steve and me, it had become toxic. 

 

An unhealthy environment. 

 

The three of us fought, more than the point of normalcy. 

 

Hell, we fought a _lot._  

 

Steve getting Sharon pregnant, that was the tipping point. 

 

Even when I see Steve today, with his son, I know that deep down, he _still_ loves Y/N. He misses her. 

 

And so do I. 

 

But if she needs to stay away from us, to regain her balance, then so be it. 

 

Her wellbeing is the _most_ important thing for me. 

 

Yes, jealousy _does_ rear its ugly head, every time I think about her relationship with Strange. 

 

He's utterly devoted to her. 

 

Always has been, right from the start. 

 

And Y/N loves him. 

 

My _God,_ she does. 

 

He gives her peace, and security. He gives her hope, that everything will be okay once again. 

 

He has proven, time and again, that he will protect her at any cost. 

 

I mean, he _died_ for her. 

 

Who else among us can say that? 

 

The dynamic between Y/N and Strange, its almost fascinating to watch. 

 

 _Really._  

 

They work in perfect unison and synchronization with each other. 

 

That's what makes me envious, whenever I've seen them together. 

 

They connect with each other on an _entirely_ different level.

 

Yet, she wears _my_ engagement ring on her finger. 

 

God, this whole situation, its is so fucked up. It makes me want to laugh. 

 

And cry. 

 

And it also makes me wonder that was I wrong, keeping Y/N away from Strange? 

 

Was I keeping her away, in an indirect way, from the _greatest_ love of her life? 

 

That's why his death affected her so much, that she left everything behind in a blink of an eye... 

* * *

 

The night air outside on the balcony is cold and fresh. It feels _almost_ as good as the cigarette smoke I'm inhaling and exhaling, lost in my own head. 

 

Yes, I've returned to smoking now. 

 

Its something that I used to do, back in the 40s. 

 

Obviously, I never smoked around punky, asthmatic little Stevie. But yeah, I smoked quite often. 

 

It feels good now. _Familiar._  

 

I tossed the last stub of the cigarette away, before taking out a new one from the pack in my pocket and lighting it up. 

 

Just as I took my first inhale, I heard the door of the balcony open behind me.  

 

It was Wanda. 

 

"Hey, Maximoff," I greet her, exhaling the smoke, in a near perfect ring. 

 

She doesn't reply, just comes and stands next to me. 

 

A little _too_ close. 

 

I try to take a step away from her, but she places her hand on my shoulder. 

 

"You're smoking now?" she asks quietly. 

 

I look at her. 

 

She has an odd look in her eyes. Something I can't quite place...

 

I clear my throat. "Um, yeah." 

 

"Y/N doesn't deserve you, Bucky," she says suddenly, leaning closer to me. "You loved her with all your heart, and she left, just like that. Its not fair to you." 

 

I was shocked, and tried my best to disguise it. 

 

_Where the fuck was this coming from?_

 

Wanda and I were friends, _teammates._ Not close friends like Steve and me, of course. But we were always polite, civil with each other. 

 

This behaviour of hers was completely out of character for me. 

 

She smiled, her eyes glowing bright red and leaned closer to me, her hand grasping my shoulder a little tighter. 

 

"If you need anything, and I mean _anything_ at all..." she said. "Just let me know...." 

 

And before I could open my mouth to respond, she walked away. 

 

_Jeez._

 

_What's gotten into her?_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really, what's gotten into her? 
> 
> Thoughts?


	208. Sowing Doubt

Bucky's POV 

 

I was gasping, a bead of sweat running down my forehead, when Steve walked into the gym, dressed in his usual blue sweats and grey t-shirt. 

 

"You're here early," he said, looking around at the mess of ruined punching bags I had lying around me. 

 

He counted them off. 

 

 _"Seven,"_ he said, whistling quietly. "That's a bit much. Even for _you,_ Buck." 

 

I shrugged. "I just.... I feel like _hitting_ something." 

 

_That was the **simplest** way to explain it. _

 

I had woken up at 4 am this morning and headed straight for the gym. 

 

Truth be told, I couldn't sleep. 

 

Thoughts of Y/N, and her safety, they just _wouldn't_ leave my head. 

 

No matter how fucking _hard_ I tried. 

 

"Bucky," Steve began. "I _know_ you're upset, man, but listen-" 

 

I held up my hand to silence him. "Don't lecture me, Steve. Not in the mood for it." 

 

He fell silent, a look of worry clear in his eyes. 

 

"Come on," I said, patting his shoulder, trying to diffuse the tension. "Spar with me." 

* * *

 

 

 _"Oof!"_ Steve exclaimed, as he landed flat on his back on the training mat, while I pinned him down with a single hand. 

 

"You're still no match for me, Stevie," I said, grinning down at him, a sense of vindictive pleasure filling me. 

 

I watched his nostrils flare up in anger. I loved getting a rise out of him like this, during our sparring sessions. 

 

"Seems like the serum wasn't enough for you, huh?" I said, standing up, backing away from him, watching him get on his feet. 

 

He looked at me, thinking. 

 

I _knew_ he knew what I felt. 

 

And obviously, I wasn't going to hurt him, during our fights. Its just that.... It was _fun._  

 

Sparring was the _only_ outlet I had, to deal with the shit going on otherwise in my life. 

 

"You ready for another round?" I asked, raising my brow at him. 

 

"Bring it on," he said, grinning, before charging at me. 

 

* * *

 

I had lost track of the time Steve and I had been fighting. 

 

During that time, the rest of the Avengers had shown up at the gym, for their morning training sessions. 

 

Clint, Sam, Natasha, Pietro. And Wanda. 

 

They had all picked their sides, cheering for Steve or me. 

 

"Come on, Cap!" Sam yelled, as I dodged a punch Steve sent my way. 

 

"Go, Bucky!" Pietro cheered, his fist pumping the air. 

 

Steve lunged for me, going head on, as he always did. 

 

I grabbed him in a headlock, before twisting his arm and then pushing him flat to the ground, so fast that he didn't see it coming. 

 

There was evident surprise on his face, as he looked up at me. "Where'd you learn that?" he asked. "You gotta teach me." 

 

I took his hand and pulled him up to his feet. "I sure will, Stevie boy," I said, smiling at him. 

 

He was tired, I could tell. "Let's take a break," I said. 

 

He sighed quietly, relieved. 

 

We walked to the sidelines, to get to our water bottles. 

 

"You'll get him next time, Cap," Sam told Steve.

 

I snorted. 

 

"No, he won't," I said, goading him, while taking the bottle and walking out the gym. 

* * *

 

I had seen Wanda staring at me, while Steve and I were fighting, her eyes locked on me in an intense gaze, that made me.... **_uncomfortable._**  

 

That's part of the reason I decided to call out of the training session. 

 

I wanted to avoid her. 

 

She was acting so weird around me. I couldn't understand what was going on in her mind. 

 

Well, whatever it was, I didn't want to encourage it. 

 

I was sitting on the balcony stairs, sipping my water, when I heard the door slide open. 

 

"You fought well." 

 

I sighed. 

 

_Speak of the devil, and the devil appears...._

 

"What do you want, Wanda?" I asked. 

 

She sat down next to me, placing her hand on my shoulder. 

 

"I want you to be _happy,_ Bucky," she said, her eyes glowing bright scarlet. 

 

She leaned close to me. 

 

I pulled back. 

 

"What's _gotten_ into you?" I asked her. "Have you lost your mind?" 

 

She looked at me, a slight smile playing on her lips. "You deserve a chance at happiness, Bucky," she said. _"True_ happiness." 

 

I looked at her. "I have true happiness. With Y/N." 

 

She chuckled. "Is that so?" she asked, running her hand along my arm, her eyes glowing ever brighter. "Your sweet Y/N left you, without explanation, without so much as a goodbye.... to play house in the Canadian Rockies with Stephen Strange. Is that true happiness for you?" she asked, leaning close. 

 

I stared at her. _"How...._ How do you know this?" 

 

She chuckled, her laugh a light, tinkling sound. "I _know_ things, James," she said, placing her hand on my cheek. "I'm a telepath, that's my job," she said, her eyes still bright. 

 

"You're- You're lying...." I said, shaking my head. 

 

She smiled, before leaning in to place a kiss on my cheek. "I'm _not,"_ she whispered into my ear, before pulling back, her eyes fixing me with their glowing stare. "I'm not..." 

 

I gritted my teeth, trying to frame an appropriate response. 

 

But I couldn't wrap my head around this bit of information she had given me. 

 

_Stephen Strange was **dead....** How could he have returned? _

 

_And **why** was Y/N living with him? _

 

_**Why** didn't she reach out to us, with news of his return? _

 

_His death was the reason she had left, right?_

 

It was too _much._ Too many questions, at once. 

 

Wanda just smiled, her eyes never ceasing in casting their eerie glow, sending a chill down my spine. 

 

She just got up and left. 

 

Leaving me with so many unanswered questions. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	209. Conversation

Reader's POV 

 

It was a habit that I had developed. 

 

Quite _embarrassing,_ actually. 

 

But it helped me with my nightmares. 

 

Sleeping with my face buried in Stephen's neck, my hand holding his, my fingers laced with his. 

 

It helped me a _lot._  

 

He smelled of musk and spice and chamomile, the combination quite intoxicating...

 

I inhaled deeply, trying to get a last whiff before waking up. 

 

He chuckled quietly. 

 

"What?" I asked, my voice sleepy. 

 

He placed his other hand on the top of my head, gently running it over my hair. "You _really_ like the way I smell, huh?" 

 

I laughed and swatted his arm playfully. "I'd bottle this scent if I could..." I sighed. 

 

"Yeah?" he asked. I could hear the smile on his voice.

 

"Yep," I said, lifting my head to look up at him with an expression of utmost seriousness. "I'd call it The Sorcerer's Scent."

 

He snorted. "Like The Sorcerer's Stone, you mean?" he asked, quirking a brow at me. "That's _highly_ unoriginal..." 

 

"Then how about.... The Scent of Strange?" I asked.

 

The two of us looked at each other for a moment, before bursting into laughter. 

 

We laughed and laughed, until we both ran out of breath. 

 

"That's the _creepiest_ name I've ever heard, darling," he said, between laughs. "If you want to bottle my scent, please do. Just don't _name_ it..." 

 

"Fine," I pouted. "I won't name it..." 

 

He leaned over and pressed his lips to mine. 

"You're so cute when you pout," he said, when he pulled away. 

 

I laughed and made my way to get up, muttering something about taking a shower, when his hand grasped mine. 

 

I turned back to him, a questioning look on my face. 

 

His expression had gone from playful to suddenly serious. "I want to ask you something..." he said. 

 

I nodded. 

 

"You came all the way to the Dark Dimension, without hesitation, _just_ to free me.... Weren't you afraid?" he asked, his blue eyes looking straight into mine. 

 

I knew he would catch my lie, what with our mind connected so intimately. 

 

I sighed. 

 

"I... I _was_ afraid, Stephen," I began, lacing my fingers with his. "But the hope, no matter how small it was, of the fact that you were still _alive,_ that led me on..." 

 

His gaze softened. "Y/N..." 

 

I held up my hand to silence him. 

 

"It was the feeling of your death, Stephen. I felt it so _clearly,"_ I said, tears brimming into my eyes as I recalled that experience. "That unhinged me completely. I couldn't... I couldn't bear to lose you. It caused me actual, _physical_ pain. Like I was being _suffocated...._ Like someone had wrenched my heart out of my chest. So when the Ancient One came to me with the news that you were still alive... I _had_ to come." 

 

He looked at me, his eyes tender. 

"But.... _why?_ Why did you come?" 

 

I gave his hand a squeeze. _"Stephen..."_ I whispered. "I love you. You saved me, when I was at my weakest, you helped me get back to my feet. You saved me, in _every_ way in which a person can be saved... That's what made me grow so attached to you. And that's why I came to the Dark Dimension. It was my turn to save you." 

 

He smiled, turning my hand over to kiss the palm of my hand. _"Thank you..."_ he whispered. 

 

I lifted my hand to cup his cheek, pulling him to me for a kiss. 

 

I kissed him, until there wasn't any breath left in me. 

 

He pressed his forehead against mine, when we broke apart. "We're a strange pair, aren't we?" he asked. 

 

 _"Yep,"_ I replied. "We're strange, Strange..." 

 

He chuckled at my pun. "You _really_ need to improve your jokes, darling." 

 

"Shut up!" I swatted his arm again. "They're good!" I laughed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo.... What do you think?


	210. Do What You Do Best

 

Bucky's POV 

 

I woke up with a start, from a terrible dream, that vanished the moment I had returned to consciousness. 

 

Sitting up, I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, and suddenly became aware of _another_ presence in my room. 

 

In the corner, her dark red eyes glowing. 

 

 _"Wanda?"_ I asked. "What are you doing here?" 

 

She stepped out of the shadows, laughing lightly. 

 

I looked at the time. It was 3 am.

 

The Devil's hour.

 

"You shouldn't be here..." I said, trying to get her out of my room. "Get out." 

 

Instead, she came and sat down at the foot of my bed. 

 

"You're a _stupid_ man, James," she said, cocking her head to the side, staring intently at me. 

 

I clenched my metal fist. 

 

"Why? Because I'm not giving _you_ the time of the day?" I asked, through gritted teeth. 

 

Her nostrils flared in anger. 

 

"Get. _Out,"_ I repeated. 

 

She laughed again. 

 

"Such implicit trust in your little Y/N, huh, James? You're out here, still waiting for her, while she's out in the mountains, having a great time with Stephen Strange..." she sang. 

 

 _"Shut up,"_ I said. I was _this_ close to physically lashing out at her if she didn't leave the room. 

 

"You're an _idiot,"_ she said, her voice sweet and venomous at the same time. "Your sweet little Y/N is cheating on you with Stephen... And here you sit, like a dutiful wife, waiting and pining for her, hoping that she comes back..." 

 

"You're _lying!"_ I shouted at her. 

 

She laughed again, leaning closer, her eyes glowing. 

 

"Its all a circle, James. Steve left Y/N and cheated on her with Sharon. And now she's left, and she's cheating on you with Stephen. How _perfect!"_ she giggled. 

 

"Y/N is _not_ cheati-" I began, but she spoke right over me.

 

"But you know what makes me sad?" she said, pouting, a sad expression playing in her eyes. "Its that little _Bucky_ always ends up with the short end on the stick..." she said, her voice sharp like a whip, yet child-like. 

 

I closed my eyes, willing the tears away. I didn't want to believe it. 

 

This wasn't Wanda. This wasn't the Wanda that I _knew._ This _couldn't_ be the truth.

 

_Y/N hasn't left me, I refuse to accept it._

 

"Accept it," she said, her eyes glowing redder. "Its the truth. Who knows, Y/N might have even... _consummated_ her relationship with Stephen?" 

 

"No, no, _NO!"_ I shouted back, angry tears streaming down my face. "You're _lying!_ I refuse to believe this....!" 

 

She smiled sadly at me, and reached out to touch my face, wiping away my tears. I gasped at her touch. It felt so.... _odd._  

 

"You want Y/N back, don't you?" she asked, her voice soothing. 

 

I leaned into her touch, unable to help myself, feeling my control slipping away due to the blind rage that was slowly consuming me. 

 

I nodded in reply to her question. 

 

"What do I do?" I asked her, feeling a strange, foreign sensation begin to cloud my mind at her touch. 

 

I could feel her energy brimming, flowing into me, through her touch. Trickling towards my mind, clouding it. 

 

Yet at the same time, I was unable to pull away from her. 

 

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I _knew_ that something was wrong... 

 

"You _know_ what you need to do, James," she spoke, her voice sounding nothing like Wanda's anymore. 

 

It sounded so unfamiliar, almost _inhuman,_ I couldn't recognize it. 

 

But I could feel my self control seeping away, being replaced by feelings of rage, anger, jealousy....

"You're an assassin. Do what you do best," the unnatural voice whispered inside my head. "Go and kill Stephen Strange..." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	211. Kitchen

Reader's POV 

 

Stephen was in the kitchen. 

 

Making eggnog. 

 

I had just assumed that he was going to make the usual chamomile tea for us, after dinner. 

 

But the smell of nutmeg wafting from the kitchen, along with the rhythmic sound of him whisking the eggs, it caught me by surprise. 

 

"Doctor Stephen Strange," I spoke, dramatically raising my brows. "You're making _eggnog?"_  

 

He chuckled. "Hey, I make a _mean_ eggnog, Y/N," he said, pointing at me with the whisk, smiling his usual smile that made his eyes crinkle at the corners. 

 

I shrugged. _"Eh._ We'll see..." 

 

He laughed, returning to whisking up the eggs. "You'll love it, Y/N. And besides, eggnog is what should be drunk around this time of the year." 

 

I returned to my book, silently, hiding my face from him, lest it showed the sadness I was feeling. 

 

It was the holiday season. 

 

Christmas. New Year. 

 

My _first_ holidays without the Avengers, who had all become my family, for all intents and purposes. 

 

I _missed_ Bucky. 

 

His smile. 

 

His voice. 

 

His...

 

 _I know you miss them all, darling,_ came Stephen's voice in my mind. 

 

My head shot up to look at him from across the room. 

 

His blue eyes locked with mine. 

 

 _You miss **him,** I understand,_ he whispered into my mind, his voice gentle as a caress. 

_If you want to go back, we ca-_

 

"No," I spoke loudly. "I like it with you here, Stephen," I said. "You have no idea how peaceful I am right now. Here. With you."  

 

"But-" 

 

"Stephen," I said, standing up and putting my book aside, before walking over to him. "I _don't_ want to go back..." 

 

I took his hands in mine. They were trembling. From the nerve damage he had sustained in the car crash. 

 

Tracing my fingers over the scars the accident had left behind, I could feel the tremors in his fingers. "Have they never stopped trembling?" I asked him. "Since..." 

 

He shook his head. "The tremors come and go. Sometimes my hands are relatively steady. Other times I can barely hold things."  

 

I brought his hands up, and kissed them, never breaking eye contact with him. 

 

"Y/N..." he sighed, closing his eyes. "Don't... I... I don't want you to do something you'll regret." 

 

It was always like this. 

 

 _Always._  

 

Every time, I'd try to initiate something, make even the slightest attempt, he'd withdraw. 

 

Sure, we had kissed. On numerous occasions. We shared the same bed, sleeping next to each other.  

 

But the rejection, it _hurt._ I knew he wanted me, I could read it in his mind, clear as day. 

 

But for some reason, he'd _always_ stop. 

 

I turned away from him to hide the tears brimming in my eyes as I stepped away from him.

 

"Y/N, I'm sorry, I-" 

 

His hand reached out to grasp my wrist. 

 

The moment he touched me, my tears began to flow freely. 

 

"Why, Stephen?" I asked him, looking at him through my tear blurred vision. "I love you, I want you.... and I _know_ you feel the same for me. Why do you.... What's stopping you?" I asked, my voice rising. 

 

He sighed and ran a hand over his face. "You think I don't want you?" he asked, incredulously. "Y/N, I fucking _love_ you. I'd _never_ leave your side if you wanted it that way," he said, his eyes looking pained. "Its hard enough for me, as it is, being with you, being around you and _not-_ I mean surely you must've felt it, felt _my_ feelings for you, as intricately as our souls are connected. You _must've_ felt it..." he said. 

 

"Then why do you always stop?" I asked.

 

He smiled at me, a wry, defeated smile. "If we cross _that_ line, Y/N, there will be no going back for me. I've already lost my heart and my soul to you, sweet girl.... I'm yours _already..."_ he said, cupping my cheek and pressing a chaste kiss to my lips. 

 

"But your heart," he whispered against my lips, his hand taking my left hand, fingers meaningfully tracing the ring Bucky had given me. "Your heart is not entirely sure what it wants," he kissed me again, deeply this time. 

 

His one hand slipped into my hair, tilting my head back, his other arm pulling me close to him. 

 

I wrapped my arms around his neck, losing myself in the kiss. The way our lips moved together, the way our tongues danced with each other, it took my breath away. 

 

"How _sweet_ you taste, darling," he gasped, pulling away from me to whisper into my ear. 

 

He backed me up against the kitchen counter between hungry kisses. 

 

"You think I wouldn't like that?" he asked, in a voice like molten velvet, his lips kissing along my jaw. "Taking you to bed and making love to you, worshipping you like the goddess that you are, taking you again and again, until the only name that fell from your beautiful lips was mine? You think I wouldn't want that?" he asked fiercely. 

 

"Stephen... I...." 

 

He silenced me with another kiss. 

 

"I wouldn't think twice about sharing you with _him,_ if that's what you wanted" he said, tracing a fiery path of kisses down my neck. "Anything to make you happy, darling," he whispered. 

 

And almost just as quickly, he released me, standing a few feet away from me. He looked at me, eyes blazing. 

 

"Clea is jealous of you, because she _knows_ the kind of hold you have over me. You've flourished far and beyond what anyone had ever expected. And you've stolen my heart..." he said, his eyes holding an emotion that could only be described as love. 

 

"I'm _yours,_ Y/N. And I always will be. But you need some time to figure out what _you_ want. You need some time to reach a decision that gives you happiness... You owe that to yourself."  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	212. The Shot

Bucky's POV 

 

It was snowing heavily outside. 

 

Normally, _any_ sane human would've sought refuge from this storm, seeking to avoid the biting wind and the pelting snowfall. 

 

But to me, it didn't matter. 

 

Being an assassin for seven _decades,_ being frozen and thawed repeatedly, depending on the requirement of my handlers had left me quite immune to any sort of cold. 

 

But the pain? 

 

I wasn't immune to that _yet._  

 

From my vantage point, I had a clear view of the tiny cottage nestled in the mountains. 

 

Through the scope of my trusty M249 SAW, I could see everything. 

 

 _Everything._  

 

Y/N and....Strange. 

 

He was very much alive, I could see. 

 

They were kissing. 

 

 _Frantically._  

 

Like their life depended on the other. Like they'd die if they were separated from each other...

 

Watching them like this, it made me numb. 

 

Numb with shock. 

 

Numb with pain. 

 

I was trying to wrap my head around the scene unfolding before my eyes. 

 

But there was only one thought that came to my mind...

 

_Wanda was right, you fool. She was right._

 

I felt sudden hot tears sting at my eyes and I pulled away from the scope of my rifle, to wipe at my eyes. 

 

Just then, a voice spoke in my head. 

 

The same, inhuman, disembodied voice, who's explicit instructions had led me here. 

 

 ** _You have a mission, James,_** the voice spoke inside my head, ringing in my ears. 

 

I shook my head violently, trying to get the voice out of my head. 

 

"You're not real.... You're not real..." I muttered, over and over. 

 

**_I am real, you fool! And what you're seeing before your eyes, that is real too. Your precious Y/N left you, for him...._ **

 

"No, no, no.... I don't believe you..." 

 

The voice laughed. 

 

**_If you truly didn't believe me, you wouldn't have come all the way here to find her. You want her, don't you?_ **

 

"Y-yes..." I whispered, tears streaming down my face. "I love her." 

 

 ** _I know you do,_ ** the voice spoke soothingly. **_And you can have her back..._**

 

"How?" I asked. 

 

 ** _You already know,_ ** the voice answered. And by its own volition, my finger rested on the trigger of the gun. 

 

 _"No!"_ I cried out. "She's _happy_ with him! They're happy together, let them be. Let them be..." I tried to pull my hand away from the trigger, but it seemed frozen in place. 

 

 ** _Kill him, and she'll be yours. Just a press of the trigger. That's all it will take. She will be yours again, James. Just like before,_ ** the voice whispered enticingly. **_You love her, so take her back. Offer his soul to me, and I shall reward you, James... Pull the trigger..._**

 

I felt hypnotized by the voice that was ringing in my head. 

 

 _This is right,_ I thought. _This is right_. 

 

 ** _Yes,_** James, the voice spoke. **_You can do it. Take the shot._**

 

Strange was standing near the kitchen counter, away from Y/N, gasping. 

 

I took aim, my finger poised on the trigger. 

 

 ** _Do it, do it,_ ** the voice whispered in my head. **_Take the shot._**

 

And I did. 

 

To the roaring laughter of the voice inside my head,  I opened fire. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	213. Possession

Reader's POV 

 

It all happened in a _fraction_ of a second.

 

One moment, Stephen was moving towards me, his hand outstretched, a tender look in his eyes... 

 

The next moment, we _both_ sensed a hail of bullets rushing towards us, shattering through the walls.  

 

Recalling my training with Stephen, I threw up a force field, large enough to encompass both of us, stalling the bullets mid air. 

 

We stared at the bullets, frozen mid motion in the air. 

 

Stephen turned to me. "Its James..." he said. 

 

I was stunned. 

 

_Bucky?_

 

_He was **here?**  _

 

_And why was he shooting at us?_

 

Stephen must've read my thoughts. 

 

"Bring him here," I told him. He nodded and vanished into thin air. 

 

A blink of an eye later, he materialized, holding Bucky in a headlock. 

 

"Let _go_ of me!" Bucky yelled, fighting against Stephen's hold, trying to break free. 

 

"Y/N, restrain him!" Stephen said to me. 

 

I immediately understood what he meant. Swirling my hands in the air, I forged psychic bonds, clasping each of Bucky's wrists and ankles. 

 

Once Stephen was sure that I had secured him, he released Bucky. 

 

"Let _go_ of me," Bucky spat, his voice laced with venom, his eyes pitch black. He struggled against my restraints, thrashing. "I have to _kill_ him!" he cried out, trying to lunge at Stephen. 

 

But my bonds kept him frozen in place. 

 

"What's wrong with him?" I asked Stephen. 

He didn't reply, just stared at Bucky intently, trying to figure out what was happening. 

 

Bucky kept thrashing violently against the restraints. Like a caged beast. 

 

It hurt me, seeing him like this. 

 

"Bucky..." I whispered. "Its me..."

 

His head snapped up at my voice, pitch _black_ eyes staring at me, shining ominously. 

 

I inched closer to him, placing a tentative hand on his cheek. He stilled at my touch, staring. 

 

"Bucky..." I breathed. _"Talk_ to me..." 

 

He smiled at me, eyes still black. It was a malevolent, malicious smile. He looked nothing like a human in that moment, nothing like the sweet, kind man I knew. He looked... like he was...

 

"He's possessed," Stephen murmured. 

 

I looked at him, aghast. _"What?!?"_  

 

"This energy in him," Stephen said. "Its from the Dark Dimension. I can feel it..." 

 

"Dormammu is acting through him?" I asked. 

 

At the mention of Dormammu's name, Bucky's fact contorted in anger. 

 

He opened his mouth and spoke in a voice that was _nothing_ human. It was a chilling, demonic voice, that made goosebumps rise on my skin. 

 

 _"Ah,_ see? You recognize me..." the voice spoke. "You dare to hurt my niece, Clea, make a fool of me by freeing Strange and think you'll get away with this?" the demon asked me, through Bucky. 

 

I felt a surge of pity towards Bucky, at how helpless he was, under the demon's manipulation. 

 

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "You... You leave Bucky alone," I told Dormammu. "Leave him out of this mess. This is our fight." 

 

The demon roared with laughter, the sound of it reverberating through the room. "Have you _ever_ known a demon to be honourable?" he asked, through Bucky. 

"I'll kill your little soldier, as _pathetic_ as he is..." 

 

 _"No!"_ I cried out, tears springing to my eyes. 

 

Dormammu laughed again. 

 

Stephen took my hand in his. I turned to him. He gave me a weary smile. "All of this is my fault..." he whispered.

 

I shook my head frantically, opening my mouth to protest, but he turned to address Dormammu instead.  

 

"Dormammu!" Stephen said, stretching out his arms. "You want to take a soul, here I am." 

 

An evil grin broke out on Bucky's lips. 

 

 _"No,_ Stephen..." I whispered. But he didn't listen. 

 

"You can have my soul, Dormammu," Stephen said. "But I have a condition." 

 

"You want me to leave her soldier alone," the demon spoke, through Bucky. 

 

Stephen nodded a slight smile playing on his lips. 

 

I read his mind, I _knew_ what he was asking for... 

 

"That too," Stephen said. "But to claim my soul, there will be a battle. If you defeat m-" 

 

 _"Us,"_ I interjected, my voice firm. "If you defeat _us..."_  

 

Now it was Stephen's turn to worry. "Y/N, _no._ I can't have you risk your life for me again!" he said, agonized. 

 

"Shhh," I hushed him, taking his hand in mine. "And I _can't_ let you go into this alone, Stephen. I'm coming with you. We'll fight." 

 

I addressed the demon. "Bring Clea along too, Dormammu. The winner takes all. Stephen's soul... and mine." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	214. Ready...

Reader's POV 

 

In a split second, the moment I had made my offer to Dormammu, the darkness vanished from Bucky's eyes, returning them to their usual brilliant blue. 

 

Bucky looked confused. "Wha- Where am I?" he asked, looking around. 

 

I felt relief surge through me. _"Bucky?"_ I asked tentatively. "Are you alright?" 

 

He looked at me, like he was seeing me for the first time. "Y/N? What happened?" 

 

And I explained everything to him. 

 

* * *

 

By the end of it, Bucky was leaning with his head bowed. His hands clutching at his head, rocking back and forth. 

 

"No, no, _no,"_ he said, his voice weak. "This is all my fault. I led him here, to you. I'm so sorry Y/N. And Stephen, I-" 

 

Stephen placed a hand on Bucky's shoulder. "Don't blame yourself, James. Even the strongest, most powerful beings of the universe don't stand a chance against Dormammu and his clan." 

 

I stared at Stephen. He looked worried. Visibly distraught. 

 

"Stephen, I-" I began, but he cut me off. 

 

 _"Why_ did you have to offer up yourself to the demon, Y/N?" he asked me, agitatedly, his brow furrowed. "I was dealing with him. You didn't need to force yourself into the battle!" 

 

I looked at him. He was angry. _Worried._  

 

I could read his mind. And there, he was saying all the things that he couldn't say in Bucky's presence. 

 

_I **love** you, Y/N, and I've had you risk your life far too many times for me. I can't lose you. Not when I just got you back. Not again. I won't be able to bear it..._

 

It broke my heart, hearing him say it. But I couldn't let him go into battle _alone_ again. I simply couldn't... And it was Clea's issues with me, that were at the crux of this conflict. I had to resolve it, once and for all. To save Bucky and Stephen from the wrath of Dormammu. I _had_ to do this. 

 

His gaze softened, his agitation dissipating as he read my mind. He took my hand in his. "You didn't need to do this..." he whispered. 

 

"I did," I said, looking at him, straight in the eyes. 

 

His grip on my hand tightened. 

 

"Are you sure you have to go right now?" Bucky asked.  

 

I turned to him. "Yes, Bucky." 

 

I turned back to Stephen. 

 

"Are you ready?" he asked me, bracing himself to open a portal. 

 

Just then, I had an idea. 

 

"Wait!" I exclaimed. "Just give me a moment.... I have to talk to someone...." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	215. Steady

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exams and classes have been keeping me away. I'm trying to write as much as I can, as often as I can, I promise.

Reader's POV 

 

Stephen's hands paused mid air and he looked at me. "What happened?" he asked. 

 

I turned to look at Bucky, who was still sitting on his knees on the floor. 

 

"We can't leave him alone like this, Stephen," I said to him. "Just.... Just in case..." 

 

I didn't finish the sentence, but the implication was clear as I spoke it out in Stephen's mind: 

 

_Just in case we don't come back..._

 

Stephen looked at me for a long moment. Then he spoke. "Alright, darling. Do what you must." 

 

I nodded. 

 

 _Can you make Bucky a cup of tea,_ I asked Stephen telepathically. 

 

He nodded and turned to Bucky. "Come on, James," he said, helping a still dazed Bucky to his feet and leading him to the small dining table in the kitchen.

 

I turned away from the two of them and walked towards the window. Gazing out at the bright moonlit night, I concentrated and tried to drown out the quiet voices of  Stephen and Bucky. 

 

Closing my eyes, I called out to _his_ mind. 

 

It had been a while since I had last spoken to him, so I wasn't sure how this conversation was going to go. But I had to tell him to get here. To take care of Bucky. 

 

_Steve?_

 

I called out to him, concentrating _hard,_ trying to compensate for the range of the distance. 

 

There was no response. 

 

_Steve? Are you there?_

 

There was a pause and suddenly, I could _feel_ him, like he was right there, beside me. 

 

_Y/N?!?!? Is that you?_

 

The bewilderment in his voice was so clear, it brought an amused smile to my lips. 

 

_Yes, it is me, Steve, I-_

 

And just as suddenly, I was barraged with a series of questions from him. 

 

_Where are you?_

 

_How are you?_

 

_Do you have any idea how much Bucky has missed you?_

 

_How much **I've** missed you? _

 

_And now Bucky has disappeared all of a sudden. I don't know where he is and I-_

 

 _Steve,_ I interrupted him. _Bucky is here with me._

 

There was a long moment of silence on his end. 

 

_He's.... with you?_

 

 _Yes_ , I sighed. _Its a long story_. 

 

 _Tell me, Y/N,_ he said. 

 

 _I'll tell you everything you need to know, Steve_ , I told him. _But first, I need you here. Will you be able to come?_

 

 _Yes, of course,_ he said. _Anything for you, Y/N. But how will I get where you are?_

 

I smiled. 

 

 _That,_ I told Steve, _you leave to me_. 

 

Pulling out of Steve's mind, I turned around to see Stephen trying to coax Bucky to drink the tea he had prepared. 

 

"Stephen?" I called out to him. 

 

"Yes?" he said, walking over to me. "What is it?" 

 

"Can you open up a portal to New York and bring Steve here? Please?" I asked. 

 

He smiled, taking my hand in his for a moment. "Of course, my sweet. Give me a moment." 

 

Then he placed a kiss to my forehead, before conjuring up a portal and walking straight into it. 

 

* * *

 

When Stephen was gone, I walked up to Bucky and sat down in a chair beside him. 

 

It broke my heart, seeing him like this. He looked utterly _exhausted_ as he stared at the rim of his teacup, a vacant look in his blue eyes.

 

Reaching out, I placed my hand on top of his. He stiffened at my touch. I sensed it. 

 

 _"James,"_ I spoke, my voice quiet. "I'm sorry." 

 

He looked at me. "You left, Y/N. _Again."_  

 

The words he spoke were few, yet the pain in his voice, it seared through my heart. In my mind, I could see _everything._ Every haunted, lonely moment that he had spent without me.

 

_How his nightmares had returned. How he had longed for me. My touch, my laugh, my presence.... And how he was slowly slipping back into insanity, his old demons rearing their ugly heads and beginning to eat away at him, in my absence._

 

I felt tears spring into my eyes as I felt his agony. 

 

"Bucky..." I breathed. "I-" 

 

I opened my mouth to speak, but he silenced me with his lips. 

 

The force and desperation behind his kiss, it startled me. 

 

His metal fingers gripped at my hair, their plates whirring quietly against my scalp, as his mouth ravaged mine. 

 

When the need for air became too much, he pulled away, allowing me a precious breath. 

 

"You _still_ don't get it, do you?" he growled. "I can't **_be_** without you..." he said, before drawing me in for another kiss. 

 

This one was slower, deeper. He was kissing me like he had missed me for centuries...

 

"I'm so _sorry,_ Bucky," I whispered against his lips, before placing a kiss to his cheek. "But I have to go. I have to go to the Dark Dimension." 

 

"I know..." 

 

No sooner had he uttered the words, a portal opened in the air and Stephen walked in, a rather sulky looking Steve following behind him. I noticed that Steve had an angry red bruise around his eyes. 

Almost like he had been... 

 

I glanced at Stephen. _Did you... hit him?_

 

He gave a casual shrug, a smirk playing on his lips. _The Captain needed some sense to be knocked into him. And I was more than happy to oblige, darling._

 

I suppressed a smile and turned to Steve. To say that it was strange seeing him again was an understatement. 

 

We hugged, rather awkwardly. 

 

"Strange, uh, _told_ me everything," Steve said, trying to keep his anger under the surface. 

 

Stephen and Steve had _never_ gotten along. And judging by the bruise on Steve's face, I could only guess how this meeting had gone. 

 

"Don't worry," Steve said. "I'll take care of Bucky. Fury is sending a quinjet here as we speak." 

 

I nodded. 

 

Turning around, I walked over to Bucky. Placing a hand on his cheek, I spoke into his mind. 

 

_Be good for me, okay? I'll come back soon._

He nodded. _I love you, Y/N_ , came his voice inside my mind. 

 

 _See, I had **told** you that he loved you still,_ came Stephen's teasing voice in my mind. I chuckled and tossed a mental _shut up_ at him, before kissing Bucky's cheek. 

 

Stephen came up beside me. "Ready?" he asked. I nodded, taking in a deep breath. 

 

"Let's go," I said, taking his hand in mine, before he teleported us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	216. Go

Stephen's POV 

 

I heard Y/N gasp loudly, the moment we set foot in the Dark Dimension. 

 

I could feel _exactly_ what she was feeling...

 

_This place, Stephen, it reeks of evil. Pure evil._

 

I grasped her hand and gave it a squeeze. 

_I know, my sweet. But I'm here. Don't worry..._

 

The fear and nervousness were apparent in her expression. Eyes alert. Jaw set. She was ready for our battle. 

 

My sweet girl. 

 

I felt a pang of guilt, for dragging her into this mess.

 

"Shut up, Stephen..." she whispered, having read my thoughts. "We're in this together. We'll end this right here, right now." 

 

I nodded, pulling her close and placing a kiss to her forehead. 

 

"What will be our strategy for-" she began to ask, but was interrupted by Dormammu's booming voice. 

 

"Stephen!" he called out, as if we were old friends, getting together for a cup of tea. "You came!" 

 

"Show yourself, Dormammu," I told him, coldly, preparing myself for his arrival. 

 

There was a second's silence, before he materialized out of thin air. 

 

For our battle, the demon king had manifested himself in his physical form. I mean, _one_ of his physical forms. 

 

He was too tall for a human, ten to twelve feet at least. Dark purple, scaly skin that cracked and oozed a tar-like substance, the sight of which made me nauseous. His large hands ended in sharp talons, his big black eyes glowing with malice. His ugly, evil smile baring his fangs...

 

And standing beside the demon, was his niece. 

 

Clea. 

 

 _"Stephen..."_ she purred, stepping forward. "I knew you'd come for me..." 

 

Y/N suddenly threw up a force field between me and Clea, stopping my ex-wife in her tracks. 

 

Clea scowled, and I bit back a grin. Y/N was so _protective_ of me....

 

 _Of course I am, idiot,_ she replied telepathically. 

 

"How _dare_ you?" Clea shrieked, her anger bubbling up to the surface. She sent a beam of energy at Y/N, which she deflected with ease. 

 

Dormammu witnessed this exchange, amusement dancing on his face. He chuckled. 

 

 _"My niece,"_ he spat, turning to Clea. "Being subdued by a mere mortal..." 

 

Clea's face turned venomous. "I'm _not_ being subdued, Uncle-" 

 

 _"ENOUGH!!!"_ Dormammu roared, silencing her protests. "Your tantrums bore me. Let us finish what we came here for." 

 

"Yeah," I said, raising my hands in front of me, taking my stance. 

 

"Let's end this, Dormammu." 

 

* * *

 

 

Fighting alongside Y/N, it was an honour. 

 

I couldn't _believe_ how powerful she had become. 

 

She moved with the fluid grace of a true warrior, overpowering Clea with ease using her powers. 

 

Dormammu, on the other hand, was a much more difficult opponent. 

 

My time in the Dark Dimension earlier had weakened me considerably. 

 

The demon was proving difficult to beat. 

 

"What's wrong, Stephen?" he asked, circling me. "Ready to give up?" 

 

 _"Never..."_ I gasped, wiping a trickle of blood off my forehead, getting back up on my feet. 

 

I looked at Y/N, who was locked in battle with Clea, and it was that split second distraction that gave Dormammu his advantage. 

 

He conjured up a sword, its pitch black blade glowing ominously, and with a savage thrust, he plunged it through my chest. 

 

I didn't have the _time_ to create a force field to protect myself...

 

"STEPHEN!" Y/N cried out, feeling my anguish like it was her own. 

 

I felt the breath leave me as I collapsed, falling to the ground. 

 

My hands clutched at the wound in my chest and I cried out in pain as Dormammu withdrew his sword. 

 

His wild, triumphant laugh echoed in my ears. 

 

With a bloodied hand, I reached out to Y/N, who was still fighting Clea. 

 

 _No,_ I thought, as Dormammu turned his back to me, walking slowly to where Y/N was, his sword aloft. 

 

 _God help me, he's going to kill her with it.._.

 

Y/N heard my thoughts and turned back to me for a moment. 

 

Time seemed to slow down as her eyes met mine. 

 

 _Y/N,_ I spoke to her mind. _Unleash your power._

 

Doubt flashed in her eyes. 

 

But she knew _exactly_ what I was talking about....

 

I had seen a glimpse of that power, when she had killed Brock Rumlow. 

 

 _Unleash your power,_ I urged her. _Don't hold back... You can finish this. Do it._

 

She nodded and began to concentrate. 

 

_I won't let them hurt you, Stephen._

 

I gasped as all her bottled up pain and agony flashed through my mind. 

 

_Losing her children... Her little girls..._

 

She cried out and released a wave of pure energy, so powerful that Clea, who was closest to her, disintegrated completely. 

 

 _Just_ like Rumlow had. 

 

I was absolutely awestruck by Y/N's strength. 

 

There wasn't a even bit of Clea left behind. Not a _single_ cell...

 

So _this_ is what Charles had meant, when he had spoken of Y/N's powers.

 

 _"NO!"_ Dormammu cried, sensing the death of his niece. He advanced towards Y/N. 

 

She turned her wrath on him, her eyes glowing, an aura of blinding energy around her. 

 

She sent a blast at Dormammu, who was hit directly. He staggered, fell to his knees. 

 

 _"How?"_ the demon gasped. 

 

"There's so much _pain,_ Stephen..." Y/N spoke, her voice cracking, and I knew what she was talking about. 

 

_I'm here, darling._

 

A tear ran down her face and she directed a beam of concentrated energy at Dormammu. 

 

He cried out in agony, his scream deafening. 

 

"Mercy! Mercy, _please!"_  

 

"Leave us, Dormammu. Never return to our lives again," Y/N spoke, letting go of her assault at him. "Let your niece's death be a lesson..." 

 

The demon was shuddering, kneeling like a weakling. _Pathetic._

 

It gave me a vindictive sense of pleasure, watching him suffer. 

 

"I'll leave you be!" the king of the Dark Dimension cried out, begging. _"Just...stop_ this!" 

 

Y/N smiled and withdrew her powers. _"Leave,"_ she said, the single word ringing with finality. 

 

Dormammu didn't need telling twice, he vanished into thin air. 

 

Y/N immediately relaxed her stance and rushed towards me. 

 

Kneeling down by my side, she placed her hand on my wound, trying to halt the blood flow. 

 

I felt my vision blur from the blood loss. 

 

"Y/N... I...." 

 

 _"Shhh,"_ she said, running a hand through my hair. "You'll be alright, Stephen. Let's go home." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on this chapter?


	217. Spectators

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for my absence. Classes and work has been keeping me busy. Twelve hour work days have been leaving me with time for little else.

Steve's POV

"She'll be back _soon,_ Bucky," I told him, patting him on the shoulder. He sat at the dining table of Y/N's little cabin.

His body language said way more than words ever could: sorrowful, distant eyes, shoulders slumped. His hair was unkempt, disheveled and his clothes looked fit for a homeless person.

 _"Bucky,"_ I said, my voice a little louder, more insistent this time. "She'll be back soon. Real soon."

His reaction surprised me.

He laughed.

It was a small laugh. Bitter. Humourless.

He turned his gaze to me.

"You don't know _anything_ about it, Steven," he said coldly.

I felt my eyebrows rise, eyes open wide at his tone.

"Buck-" I began, but he cut me off.

"Y/N has gone to the Dark Dimension, Steve," he said. "She has gone to the Dark Dimension to fight the fucking demon who _rules_ the dimension. And you're acting so nonchalant about it? I'm scared for her. If she loses...she'll...she'll..."

"Bucky," I said to him, my voice taking on an edge. He looked up at me. "Nothing is going to happen to her."

"But-"

 _"Nothing_ is going to happen to her," I repeated, loudly, insistently. "She's stronger than we've thought her to be and she's come back from far worse circumstances than this, proving us wrong each and _every_ time. So believe me when I say that nothing is going to happen to her."

Bucky stared at me for a long moment, his blue eyes fixed on mine, seeking reassurance in my gaze.

After a long while, he nodded and sat back in his chair. "So I guess all we can do is wait, then?"

"Yep," I told him, leaning back in my own chair. "And honestly, it is the _demon_ who should be terrified of Y/N. He doesn't know what's coming for him..." I said.

He snorted.

I smiled and patted him on the back, fondly.

"Thanks, punk," he said, grinning at me.

"You're welcome, jerk," I replied, not missing a beat.

We sat together in amicable silence for a while. Bucky was thumbing through one of Y/N's favourite novels that was lying on the countertop. 

I got up from my seat, heading for the kitchen. "I guess I'll make us some coffee, then..." 

Just then a portal of flickering gold lights opened up in the air and Y/N stumbled through it, looking _thoroughly_ battle worn, half carrying and half dragging a bleeding and clearly wounded Stephen Strange along with her.

"Y/N!" both Bucky and I cried out getting up from our chairs and rushing toward her. She didn't seem to hear us as she lay Strange down on the floor as gently as she could.

He groaned in pain.

"What happened?" I asked her.

"What do you _think_ happened?" she snapped at me, obviously agitated.

Looking down at Strange, she tore open his tunic to reveal a huge, gaping stab wound in his chest. It was weeping blood. The wound's edges were blackened and the blood that was seeping through seemed more like tar, a sickening blackish red instead of the normal bright red...

I turned away, feeling a sudden wave of nausea.

"You're going to be okay, Stephen..." Y/N whispered to him, her voice breaking as she attempted to summon up the energy to heal him.

"Its fine, darling..." he replied, his voice weak and strained before he broke off into a hacking cough. I turned back to him to see him wipe blood off his mouth. "Its okay..." he said to her, _still_ trying to comfort her.

I felt a newfound admiration for the man...

"Stay with me, okay?" she pleaded, her eyes brimming with tears. "Just _stay_ with me, Stephen..."

Bucky and I looked at each other and simultaneously we backed away. It felt _wrong,_ like we were intruding on a private moment between the two of them...

Stephen let out a pained gasp and his eyes rolled back into his head, threatening to close, the blood gushing away from his wound.

 _"Stephen!"_ Y/N cried out, urgently, placing both hands on each side of his face, leaning close to him. "Don't you dare close your eyes, okay?" she urged him frantically, tears falling freely from her eyes, onto his face.

"The blade..." he gasped, barely lucid now. "It...it was cursed..."

He was slipping away rapidly.

Y/N heard in his thoughts, what he was trying to say to her. She shook her head violently, shuddering with sobs. "No...no..."

Bucky and I looked at each other, _helpless._ There was nothing we could do but watch... Like mute spectators.

Strange raised a trembling, bloodstained hand and placed it on her cheek, his equally bloodstained mouth curving into a peaceful smile. "Let me g-"

 _"NO!"_ Y/N cried, jerking her hands away from his face and placing both palms of her hands flat on the massive, gaping wound on his chest.

She closed her eyes.

"I won't let you go _anywhere,_ Stephen. Not again..." she whispered, tears streaming down her face. "Even if it kills me..."

And she concentrated.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise that I'll write and update as often as I can.   
> This is NOT the end of SS Reloaded.


	218. Dim Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooth rotting fluff ahead!

Reader's POV

 

 

The lights were dim in my room when I came to. Opening my eyes took effort, yes. And I felt drained. _Exhausted._  

 

Like someone had sapped all my strength.

 

And then I remembered...

 

 _"Stephen!"_ I gasped, trying to sit up in bed. But I couldn't even do that, because the sudden attempt caused my muscles to protest, forcing me to lie back down. 

 

I looked around. There was the steady beeping coming from the various machines I had been hooked up to, that were monitoring my vitals. A bunch of flowers sat in a vase on my bedside.   

 

I was about to reach out to grab the note that was sitting amongst the roses when I heard a slight movement on my side. Craning my neck up slightly from my pillow, I looked to my right to see that I wasn't alone in the room. 

 

Relief rushed though me as I looked at him, lying there asleep, the streak of silver hair at his temples that shined in the dim light...

 

 _Stephen._  

 

I felt sudden tears sting at my eyes, blur my vision. 

 

He was _here._  

 

He wasn't- 

 

I didn't even want to think about it. The _other_ possibility. 

 

Feeling a surge of energy at his presence, I sat up from the bed, completely ignoring the pain in my limbs as I frantically freed myself from the probe that monitored my heart rate and pulse and the intravenous needles that the doctor had put into my arms.

 

Standing up slowly, I walked over to him. Even though our beds were only a few feet apart, the distance felt too much. 

 

With a groan, I sat down on his bed, beside him. 

 

A quick glance at the monitor above his bed told me that his vitals were stable. _Strong._  

 

On inspecting his chest, I saw that his wound had healed, leaving only a scar behind. 

 

Tears flooded my eyes again. I just... I felt relieved. And _happy._  

 

I don't know for how long I sat there, crying quietly. 

 

When I finally composed myself enough, I realized that he needed to rest. 

 

Leaning down, I placed a kiss to his forehead, his nose and finally his lips, letting my lips linger on his for _just_ a little longer. 

 

Pulling away from him, I smoothed his hair, at least _tried_ to, before getting up to return to my bed. 

 

It was then, when I stood up, that I felt his gentle hand on my wrist. 

 

"No," he murmured, eyes opening, blue orbs focussing on me. _"Stay."_  

 

"You're awake!" I gasped, my face breaking into a smile. 

 

He smiled back sleepily. "Now, stay," he said, nodding at the space beside him. 

 

I crawled into the bed, scooting close to him, placing my head on the pillow beside him, wrapping my arms around him, almost as if I was afraid that he'd slip away again. 

 

 _You saved my life,_ he spoke in my mind. 

 

I knew that he was too tired to actually talk, so he was using telepathy. 

 

 _"Shhh..."_ I hushed him. "Sleep now. We'll talk later." 

 

His lips turned up into a smile and he leaned in to kiss my forehead. 

 

 _I love you, darling,_ his voice whispered inside my head. 

 

I buried my face into his neck, my arms tightening around his neck in response. 

 

_I love you too, Stephen..._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of this chapter?


	219. I'll Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Depression triggers ahead

Bucky's POV 

 

It was a one way mirror, through which I could see how _badly_ Steve and I had lacked, when it came to Y/N. 

 

Looking into the hospital room, even in the darkness, I could see Y/N sleeping beside Stephen. 

 

Her arms wrapped around him, her face nuzzling his shoulder, a small smile playing on her lips as she slept... 

 

In that moment, I became acutely aware of all the mistakes Steve and I had made with her, all the times we had taken her for granted, all the times we hadn't been there for her... 

 

While she had _always_ been there for us. 

 

I won't deny, that it felt a little bad, like the ugly, selfish monster of jealousy was rearing its head. But I wasn't going to let it grow and fester. 

 

Because above all else, one fact was clear as day: _Stephen made her **happy.**  _

 

Happier than Steve and I had been able to make her since ages. 

 

Beside me, I heard Steve sigh deeply. 

 

_When had he come here? I hadn't even noticed..._

 

"She's happy with him," Steve spoke, his tone conveying the slightest hint of wistfulness. "I've fucked up, big time." 

 

I turned to him, feeling my heart break seeing how heartbroken he looked. 

 

 _"We_ fucked up, Steve," I sighed, patting his shoulder. 

 

Steve looked at me for a long moment. "What I had with her, it is damaged beyond repair. But you _still_ have time, Buck." 

 

I turned back to look at Y/N. She looked so small. Fragile. 

 

"I need her, Steve," I said to him, feeling tears sting at my eyes. "I'll _die_ without her." 

 

Steve nodded. "I know _exactly_ how that feels," he said. "I'm already halfway there, now that she's gone." 

 

I stared at him. He had a faraway look in his eyes, which were utterly lifeless. He didn't look anything like my old best friend. The man who had once inspired millions with his spirit and bravery. Now, the legendary Steve Rogers was just a bitter, desolate shell of a man without Y/N. 

 

A small voice inside my head asked: _is this what is going to happen to me if Y/N leaves me too?_

 

The answer came quickly. 

 

 ** _No._**  

 

This wasn't going to happen to me. 

 

It'd be much, _much_ worse. 

 

I knew for a fact that right now that Steve's _only_ reason to live, was his son. 

 

He was carrying on _just_ for him. 

 

But I didn't have anything else. 

 

 ** _Nothing._**  

 

If Y/N left me, I was going to die. 

 

 _Literally._  

 

I could see my future without her so clearly. That familiar descent into madness. The all consuming insanity, that would surely engulf me without Y/N around to help me keep it at bay. 

 

And then, in my loneliness, there'd be only one way out for me...

 

I smiled bitterly, thinking about the guy I was, the guy I used to be, before the War. 

 

I used to scoff at the idea that someone could actually die of a broken heart. I used to believe that it was impossible.

 

And now, more than seventy years later, I didn't seem so sure anymore...

 

 _I **need** you, Y/N_ , I thought, somehow hoping that she'd hear the desperation in my thoughts. 

 

_I need you, or I'll die, doll._

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your thoughts on this chapter?


	220. Frank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Reader talk it out.

Reader's POV

"Wake up, Sorcerer Supreme and Sleeping Beauty!"

I woke up with a start, hearing Tony's _extremely_ loud voice.

I swear, I wanted to throw something at the-

With an irritated groan, Stephen used his telepathy to send a glass that was kept on his bedside table flying right at Tony.   
He dodged it, the glass missing his face narrowly, hitting against the wall and shattering.

"What the hell?" Tony cried out.

"Is _this_ the way to wake a patient, Stark?" Stephen asked, obviously irritated and angry.

"This is my Tower, Strange, and I will wake whoever I want in whichever way I- _Oof!"_

This time, I sent a glass flying at him, and it caught him on the head.

 _"Ow!_ Y/N!" he said, rubbing the spot on his head where a swelling was surely going to form soon.

I heard a snort from Stephen, who had his lips pursed together, holding in a laugh.

And behind Tony, I could see Bucky standing in the doorway, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

Seeing him laugh, it brought a smile to my face.

 _Hey, Bucky,_ I spoke to his mind.

 _Hey, doll_ , he replied. _Stark completely deserved it._

He raised his head up and gave me a quick wink.

_Can I... Can we talk?_

His smile faltered for a moment, when he heard my unspoken question. Then he nodded.

Completely ignoring the heated argument that Tony and Stephen were having about Tony's method of waking up people, Bucky walked over to me.

He was wearing a grey t-shirt with jeans, I noticed, and his hair was tied up into a loose bun at the nape of his neck, a few scraggly chocolate strands framing his face.

He helped me get up and we walked out of the room. I glanced at Stephen on the way out and he gave me a small nod. He knew exactly how overdue a frank conversation between Bucky and me was...

We walked in silence, to an empty room in the far end of the hospital wing. He helped me sit down on the bed, before getting up and shutting the door. Then he came and sat down next to me.

His blue eyes were expectant. Waiting for me to speak. I couldn't look into his eyes without feeling a surge of guilt.

"I'm so _sorry,"_ I began to speak, my eyes looking down at my hands, my voice barely above a whisper. "I'm so sorry, James... I am a hypocrite. I had promised you, over and over, that I would never leave you. And that's _exactly_ what I did. I did exactly what Steve did. I realized this when I was there, with Stephen, that I wasn't any different from Steve. I took you for granted, Bucky...."

Quiet tears fell down from my eyes, onto my lap. I fiddled with the engagement ring that was still on my finger. I pulled it off.

Taking Bucky's hand in mine, I placed the ring in his palm.

"I don't deserve this. I don't deserve _you._ You've always been so good to me. And I've only punished you for Steve's mistakes. I'm really sorry, Bucky. I hope one day you'll find someone who loves you as much as I still do, and has the strength to be with you till the end of the line..." 

Tears had completely overwhelmed me at this point, not allowing me to speak any further.

I glanced at him, and he was smiling, shaking his head.

"Silly girl," he said, taking my left hand in his, placing the ring back on my finger. "This belongs to you. _I_ belong to you. And I have belonged to you since that night, when you came to me to help me with my nightmares. You can't push me away so easily, doll. I won't let you. _Never."_

He wiped my tears away with his flesh hand, before cupping my cheek and tilting my head so that I was looking at him. "I _love_ you, you hear me?" he asked. "I love you and I need you and I can't be without you, doll. Its as simple as that."

He ran his thumb along my bottom lip. "Do you love me?" he asked, leaning closer.

I nodded.

 _"No._ I need to hear you say it."

"I do," I replied, looking right into his eyes. "I love you so much, Ja-"

He pressed his lips against mine, silencing me. He kissed me, his lips slow and gentle against mine...

"I know you love me," he said, placing his forehead against mine. "And I know you love Stephen."

I froze at the mention of _his_ name.

Bucky chuckled at my reaction. "Are you kidding me? I've seen the way he looks at you. The way you look at him... I don't need to be a mind reader to know how deeply you two are connected."

"He's part of your soul now, as you are part of his. And I wouldn't _dream_ of forcing you to break this..." he said, placing a kiss to my cheek. "I love you. He loves you. And you love us. That's the end of it. That's how simple it is."

"And you don't... You don't... _disapprove?"_ I asked.

"Disapprove?" he laughed. "Of course not! He makes you happy, he clearly loves you and he's _died_ for you. You are his world, and I'm not blind that I can't see it."

I stared at him. "So you don't... You don't mind?" I asked.

He laughed again. _"No,_ I don't. The heart wants what it wants. Believe me, I know that. And also, I don't wish to incur the wrath of the Sorcerer Supreme."

 _No, you don't_ , came Stephen's playful voice inside our heads.

Bucky stared at me. "For how long have you been listening?" he asked the air in front of him. 

 _Ever since my name was mentioned,_ came Stephen's reply in our heads. 

"Fucking telepaths," Bucky chuckled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think about this chapter?


	221. Yours As She's Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Stephen converse.

Reader's POV

 

Bucky and I walked back to the hospital room that I shared with Stephen.

 

Upon entering, I found him sitting up in his bed, fingers steepled before him, eyes closed, lost in thought...

 

His eyes opened the moment he heard my footsteps and he smiled at me. Then at Bucky.

 

"I'm sorry about overhearing your conversation, James. I tried to stay out, but curiosity got the best of me," he said, sounding a little sheepish.

 

Bucky chuckled. "Its alright, Doc. You have full right to know what I think about you." 

 

Stephen nodded. "And now I do. Thank you for keeping such an open mind for me, for accepting me."

 

It made me so happy, watching them interact this way. I felt giddy with joy.

 

"Y/N, my sweet, you need to rest," Stephen's voice pulled me out of my thoughts, which he had surely heard. "Get into bed now."

 

I nodded and climbed back into my bed. Bucky covered me up with the comforter, wrapping it snugly around me.

 

Then he sat down on the couch near my bed, leaning back comfortably.

 

The three of us settled into an easy silence, punctuated by talk of what we were going to do next.

 

"I'm still training Sam and the Maximoffs, doll," Bucky said. "Fury wants the three of them whipped into shape. And soon."

 

"Hmmm," I hummed in agreement.

 

Stephen sighed. "As much as I like staying here with you, I must return to the Sanctum. The Ancient One wants me to resume my duties as soon as I can."

 

"Yeah, I know how she can be," I said, and Stephen chuckled. "Can I come there and train with you?" I asked. "You know, like old times?"

 

"Is that even a question?" Stephen asked. "Of _course_ you can come, darling! Any time you like! The Sanctum is as much your home as it is mine."

 

I grinned at him, already excited to be in the Sanctum again.

 

Stephen turned to Bucky. "I hope it is alright with you, James, if she spends her time with me?"

 

Bucky smiled gamely at him. "Of course, Doc. I'll have my hands full with training the three, so you can keep Y/N at the Sanctum. You know, to train, _among other things_..." he added, a wicked glint in his eyes.

 

I felt color rise up in my cheeks.

 

Stephen did not miss a single beat. "Thank you, James. You don't know for how long I've been dying to  _have_ her at the Sanctum."

 

The double meaning in his words was clear as day.

 

I was sure that my face was bright red now.

 

Bucky chuckled at my reaction. "Of course," he said to Stephen. "There's no point in wasting any more time, Doc. You've waited long enough. She's yours as much as she's mine."

 

"That's true, James," Stephen said, looking right at me as he addressed Bucky. _"Very_ true."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are your thoughts on this chapter? I have some smut coming up next. Who shall I do first? (Pun intended)


	222. Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's some Bucky smut.

Reader's POV

 

I could tell exactly what he wanted, from the way that his hand was gripping mine as he guided me back to our room after leaving the hospital wing.

 

_I **need** you, doll._

 

His thoughts were screaming out to me, making me aware of the silent desire that was burning inside him.

 

The moment we were inside the privacy of our quarters, he locked the door, before pinning me against it, his mouth crashing down upon mine.

 

I cupped his face, pulling him to me, kissing him back, trying to compete with his ardor.

 

He kissed me into submission, his warm, delicious mouth slanting over mine, tongue exploring my mouth.

 

With a moan, I pulled away from him, gasping for air.

 

We looked at each other for a moment, his eyes blazing with lust.

 

_Its been so long..._

 

"I know," I whispered, taking his hand and guiding him to the bedroom. "Come on."

 

* * *

 

  
I bit my lip, trying to keep the pleasure that was threatening to spill over at bay.

 

I wanted to last.

 

 _Not yet,_ I thought. _Not yet..._

 

His lips were at my neck, leaving bruising kisses on my skin. Bruises that would heal in no time, but he wanted to mark me nevertheless.

 

 _"Bucky..."_ I moaned, arching back against the sheets.

 

The slick friction of his metal fingers slipping in and out of me was incredible. Two fingers, knuckle deep.

 

Curling and twisting and thrusting.

 

Trying to coax more pleasure of me.

 

His thumb traced tight circles on my clit, the cool metal rubbing at that bundle of nerves.

 

It made my breath hitch in my throat.

 

I reached out and grasped the front of his shirt, my fingers clutching at the grey fabric.

 

_Do you know how beautiful you look?_

 

His thoughts attacked me.

 

_Completely naked, lying beneath me, trembling as you try to keep the pleasure away... Let go for me, doll. Don't fight it._

 

His fingers doubled their efforts, creating an obscene wet sound as they plunged into me.

 

I was hanging on the brink, ready to topple over and drown in the pleasure.

 

But instead, I reached down between my legs, placing my hand on his wrist, my fingers lacing into his metal ones, still slick with my juices.

 

"I want _you..."_ I breathed, my other hand cupping his cheek, tracing his bottom lip with my thumb.

 

 _I want **you** to fuck me_ , I whispered into his mind.

 

His lips curled up into a grin and he lifted himself off of me, to his knees.

 

I watched as he pulled off his shirt, sighing as I watched his muscles move and ripple.

 

Sitting up, I removed his pants, freeing his cock and grasping it in my hand. I gave him a few quick strokes. He hissed.

 

As much as I wanted to sit down on his lap and ride him, I knew that he wanted to take me.

 

Placing a quick kiss to his lips, I lay down on my back and opened my legs to him.

 

 _I **need** you, James_ , I spoke to his mind, loud and clear.

 

His eyes widened momentarily at hearing my thoughts. Then he smirked.

 

"As you wish, doll," he said leaning down to cage my body with his.

 

Taking his length into his hand, he began to guide himself into me.

 

 _"James...."_ I moaned in relief, closing my eyes as he sank into me with a slowness that was pure torture.

 

When he was all the way in, I couldn't keep away the shiver that crept up my spine.

 

He wrapped me in his arms, pulling me flush against him. Then he drew out, almost all the way, before sinking back in.

 

I whimpered. It felt so good. To be with him again...

 

He pecked my cheek. _"Shhh...._ I've got you."   
He brought his lips to mine.

 

_I won't let you sleep tonight, doll._

 

* * *

  
_"Bucky...._ Oh, God..."

 

He'd kept his promise, indeed.

 

The early light of dawn was streaking the sky.

 

And I was _mindless_ with pleasure.

 

Our bodies were slick with sweat, still locked around each other, trying to chase another high. Then another.

 

And _another._

 

He held my legs apart, his hips snapping feverishly into mine.

 

My inner walls felt raw and sensitive, but this only seemed to heighten the pleasure for me.

 

His name fell from my lips, over and over in a delirious prayer.

 

He buried his face into my neck, his hips never faltering in their punishing rhythm.

 

"Doll," he groaned into my skin. "I'm not gonna last."

 

"Neither am I..."

 

_Come with me, James..._

 

With a cry, I shattered first, my nails digging into his back.

 

He followed me seconds after, spilling into me, yet again in long, warm spurts.

 

Then his body went lax, and he sighed deeply. Relieved.

 

Careful not to crush me under his body weight, he rolled off of me to lie on my side.

 

I curled up into him, feeling his seed seep out of me, onto the sheets.

 

Both of us were gasping, we were so exhausted.

 

Placing my hand on his cheek, I spoke into his mind.

 

_I love you, James._

 

He kissed my forehead in reply.

 

"I love you too, doll."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on this chapter?   
> Stephen chapter soon?


	223. Snap

Reader's POV

 

I was lying down on the couch in one of the many sitting rooms of the Sanctum.

 

New York had gotten uncharacteristically cold and Stephen was in the kitchen, making tea, as always.

 

Meanwhile it was his crimson cloak that was keeping me warm. Sensing that I was feeling cold, the cloak had flown to me of its own volition and wrapped itself around my shoulders.

 

It smelled just like Stephen. Spicy, musky and a bit of chamomile. I sighed and inhaled the scent deeply.

 

"Why are you so good to me?" I murmured to the cloak. The collar of the cloak stroked my cheek in response, tickling me.

 

I chuckled. "Stop it!"

 

Looking up, I saw the owner of the cloak standing in the doorway, a big smile on his face, holding two cups of tea.

 

"It _really_ likes you..." Stephen said, walking over to me and handing me a cup.

 

The cloak tickled under my chin, making me laugh again, which only proved Stephen's point.

 

He laughed.

 

We sipped our tea in silence for a while, before I set my cup down and lay back down on the couch. Turning to Stephen, I asked, "So what are you going to do now?" 

 

"I've been summoned to Kamar-Taj," he sighed. "The Ancient One wants to speak with me."

 

Instantly, I attacked him with a barrage of questions. "You have to go? _Already?_ Why? What happened? When will you come back?"

 

He gave me an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, darling, that I have to go so soon. But she wants to talk to me about what happened in the Dark Dimension. I would've asked you to come with me but..." he sighed again, running a hand over his face.

 

"I have to stay with Bucky..." I said finishing his sentence for him.

 

He nodded. "Yes. You need to be with him..."

 

I could sense the longing that he was feeling, like it was my own. It mirrored my own emotions.

 

 _I haven't even left yet and I've begun to miss you_ , I heard his voice in my mind.

 

Standing up, I walked over to him.

 

"When do you have to leave?" I asked, sitting down next to him, stroking the silver strands of hair at his temples. He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch.

 

 _In a few hours,_ he replied.

 

_When will you come back?_

 

_In a few days... I think._

 

I leaned in and kissed him, cradling his face in my hands.

 

After a while, I pulled away from him for air, pressing my forehead against his. "Come back to me as soon as you can..."

 

"I will," he whispered between kisses. "I will, I will..."

 

The second we broke apart, he took my hand and guided me to his bedroom. I followed him, knowing what he wanted, wanting it as much as he did. 

 

_I don't think I can wait any longer, my sweet._

 

 _Then_ _don't,_ I replied. _I'm **yours**_ **.**

 

And I knew that there wasn't going to be a need to say anything else.

 

For a moment, the two of us just looked at each other and the air in the room felt like it was crackling with anticipation.

 

Then, I saw the shift in his eyes.

 

We had waited long enough.

 

That's when it _snapped..._

 

Between frantic, frenzied kisses, we undressed each other.

 

When I was completely bare, I felt a sudden urge to cover myself.

 

But the intensity of his blue eyes, it stopped me.

 

_No, darling. Don't hide yourself from me._

 

With a gentle push on my shoulders, he lay me down on his bed, never taking his eyes off me.

 

Then he brought his lips down on mine, a hand fisting in my hair as he kissed me with a passion that made my toes curl.

 

He bit down on my lip, making me moan into his mouth.

 

_I will never tire of hearing this sound, darling._

 

 _"Please..."_ I gasped.

 

 _Not yet,_ he spoke into my mind, kissing his way along my neck, his lips trying to reach every inch of my exposed skin. _Not yet..._

 

Taking his head in my hands, I guided him to that spot on my neck.

 

 _Right there, Stephen._ And he latched onto it.

 

My fingers wove into his hair, as I held him to me. His hands palmed my breasts, kneading the flesh, fingers circling my nipples, making my back arch.

 

I moaned when his mouth reached my breasts, lips closing around a hardened bud, sucking...

 

At that sound, his hips ground into mine and I felt how painfully hard he was.

 

I reached down and grasped his length, stroking him.

 

He groaned against my breast.

 

 _Take me_ , I urged him, feeling his hips move in time with my hand.

 

_Take me, Stephen..._

 

I could feel that familiar warmth pool between my legs as I watched him slowly come undone under my hand... until his hand came up and stopped mine.

 

He looked up at me, his eyes darkened with want.

 

"My turn..."

 

His rich, deep voice sent a shiver of anticipation up my spine.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More coming soon!   
> Any thoughts/suggestions on how you'd like the Stephen x Reader smut chapter to be are most welcome...


	224. Becoming One

Reader's POV

 

His hand slipped between my legs, fingers seeking the wetness that had pooled there. 

 

His lips were at my ear. "Let me worship you like the goddess that you are... Like I had promised you..." 

 

The initial hesitation of this being our first time began to slip away from my mind and I began to give into the pleasure that he was giving me. 

 

His fingers stroked me, as he kissed his way down my body. It was as if his lips were trying to memorize me, every curve and every dip. 

 

"Oh, _Stephen..."_ I gasped, when his mouth replaced his fingers, his hands resting on my thighs. 

 

His tongue parted through my folds and slipped into me, making my breath hitch. My fingers sought purchase in the crimson sheets of his bed, twisting handfuls of satin as he devoured me. 

 

I could feel my inner walls clench with each push of his tongue, the scratch of his facial hair against my inner thighs only enhancing the exquisite torture. 

 

Breathing heavily and moaning incoherently, I tried to beg, to ask him to just let me come. 

 

 _"Please...."_  

 

I was shaking as the pleasure unfurled through me, spreading out from my core, all over my body. 

 

 _"Stephen..."_  

 

My hands abandoned the sheets and went to his dark and silver hair, pulling him closer to me, fingers caressing his scalp. 

 

His fingers replaced his tongue, two fingers plunging into me, curling against that special spot that made me see stars. 

 

I knew that I wasn't going to last very long, the coil in my core was wound too tight, ready to spring free at _any_ moment. 

 

But when his lips closed around that bundle of nerves, I knew I was _done._ He gave it a suck, before rolling his tongue over it and I was finished.

 

With a cry that was sure to be heard through the Sanctum, I broke against him, allowing the ecstasy to take me. 

 

He lapped away at me, prolonging the pleasure, until the last of it had faded away. 

 

Through hooded eyes, I watched as he pressed a kiss to my inner thigh before rising, licking his fingers clean. 

 

_You taste so sweet. I could get drunk off of you..._

 

I sat up, climbing into his lap, pressing my lips to his. It felt so _good,_ to kiss him freely, without any fear, or regrets. Or guilt. 

 

My hands went into his soft hair as I kissed him, getting drunk on my taste from  _his_ tongue. 

 

When he pulled away from me, I could see it in his eyes, read in his mind, that waiting any longer was simply _impossible._  

 

Taking his length in my hand, I guided him into me. Our eyes never broke contact as I sank down, taking him in entirely. 

 

 _"Stephen..."_ I sighed. 

 

He exhaled, releasing a breath he didn't know he had been holding. 

 

 _My darling.._.

 

His arms tightened around me, pulling me flush against him. 

 

My arms wrapped around his shoulders and right then, we began to move. 

 

I rose and sank down on his thick, rigid length, just as he pushed up into me. 

 

My inner walls clenched around him like a vice. 

 

Stephen groaned and buried his face into my neck, nipping and sucking at my skin, one arm around my waist, the other hand in my hair. 

 

And that was when I felt something _incredible_ begin to happen.

 

I had always known that he and I were connected, our minds and souls intertwined intricately. But now, as our bodies became one, I became aware of how acutely we could sense _everything_ that the other was feeling...

 

I could feel his pleasure. He could feel mine... And this created an upward spiral of ecstasy, lust, desire and love that only grew _higher_ as we chased our release. 

 

"Do you feel that?" he asked me, breathing heavily. 

 

I pressed my lips to the silver hair at his temple, my hands woven into his curls. "Yes," I moaned. _"Yes..._ Yes, I do..." 

 

My hips began to falter in their rhythm and without ever leaving my depths, he lay me down on the bed, taking charge. 

 

His hands stroked my hair and he leaned down to kiss me, a kiss so tender that it brought tears to my eyes. 

 

He noticed it and kissed my tears away. "What's wrong, darling?" he asked. 

 

I pulled him closer to me, locking my legs around his hips. 

 

"Why do you have to go?" I asked, my question coming out in a desperate moan. 

 

His eyes grew soft at my question, his hips never faltering in their sensual rhythm. 

 

_I don't want you to go, Stephen._

 

He cupped my cheek and drew me into another sinful kiss. He bit my bottom lip as he pulled away. 

 

_I will come back to you, my darling. You've ruined me **entirely.** I won't be able to stand being away from you now..._

 

His hips began to move faster as he plunged deeper into me. 

 

I threw my head back against the pillow, closing my eyes as I felt his pleasure and mine... I felt it rise and swell and build and rise _again._ And I knew he could feel it too, by the way he was shuddering in my arms, gasping my name against my neck. 

 

I was delirious with the combined pleasure, barely coherent, my body having a mind of its own, moving in unison with his. 

 

Feeling the ecstasy grow higher and _higher._

 

Until...

 

We both shattered together, our peaks so _powerful_ that all we could do was to hold onto each other. 

 

We rode it out together, until we _couldn't..._

 

When I finally came down from my high, Stephen was pressing warm, open mouthed kisses along my neck, his hand stroking my thigh lazily. 

 

 _"Oh my..."_ was all I could say. 

 

He chuckled. "Same here, darling." 

 

_I guess this is what is bound to happen when two telepaths... You know..._

 

He chuckled again, having heard my thought. 

 

 _Two **powerful** telepaths, darling,_ he corrected me, placing a chaste kiss to my lips. 

 

"And also, I'm not going anywhere," he said, caressing my face. 

 

"But the Ancien-" I began.

 

He silenced me with a kiss. 

 

_She can wait, darling. I'm not leaving you, not yet. I'm going to make love to you over and over, until the only name that leaves your lips is mine..._

 

I felt a shiver of anticipation, lust already flaring up inside me upon hearing his thoughts. 

 

"But you don't have the t-" 

 

 _"Time?"_ he finished the sentence for me, a smirk playing on his lips. 

 

He leaned in close to me, murmuring an incantation in my ear. The foreign tongue combined with his deep voice was strangely arousing. 

 

When he pulled away from me, he took my hand in his. Still performing the spell, waved his hand gracefully and a band of light wrapped itself around our joined hands. 

 

It glowed bright for a second, before fading away entirely. 

 

I stared at him incredulously, knowing full well what he had just done. 

 

He smirked. 

 

"I'm the Sorcerer Supreme, darling. Time bends to my will. And I've _slowed_ it down so I can fulfill my promise to you. I'm going to _learn_ you, _explore_ you..." 

 

He cupped my cheek and pulled me into a kiss. 

 

"And _ravish_ you..." he whispered against my lips.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on this chapter?  
> On Stephen?


	225. Intruder

I woke up to the feeling of a gentle hand stroking my cheek. With a sigh, I leaned into the touch, eyes still shut.

 

His hand cupped my cheek and he ran his thumb over my lower lip, which was still sore from his kisses.

 

_Stephen..._

 

I whispered into his mind, too worn out to even speak.

 

"My sweet girl..."

 

His blue eyes were soft, looking at me like I was the _only_ one in the world...

 

He read my mind and smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "You are," he affirmed. _"You_ are the only one in my world..."

 

I bit my lip and lowered my gaze, feeling a sudden heat rise in my cheeks under the intensity of his gaze.

 

He chuckled.

 

Cupping my cheek, he pulled me in for a kiss. And boy, _did_ he know how to kiss.

 

I moaned into his mouth as his tongue played with mine, raising my heart rate, making my toes curl.

 

His intent was perfectly clear from the way he was kissing me...

 

 _Do you want this_ , his voice spoke inside my head, while he let go of my lips, kissing feverishly along my neck.

 

Thanks to his time-slowing spell, he was able to make good on his promise of ravishing me. I lost count of the number of times Stephen and I had made love. I was completely sated, almost _mindless_ with the pleasure he had given me so relentlessly. I couldn't even tell what day it was....

 

My fingers wove into his hair as he kissed his way between my breasts.

 

 _"Stephen..."_ I moaned, arching my back. That familiar heat was pooling between my legs again.

 

His hands caressed my thighs, spreading them apart. His eyes never left mine as he kissed his way down my body, desire blazing fiercely in his gaze.

 

_Do you want this, my darling?_

 

 _"Yes..."_ I sighed, closing my eyes just as he brought his mouth _there..._

 

His wicked tongue delved into my core, seeking the juices he so desperately craved.

 

I cried out, my voice echoing through the Sanctum.

 

_I could stay between your legs forever, my sweet..._

 

The pleasure that his actual ministrations were bringing me were one thing, but the feeling of his voice speaking to my mind, conveying his deepest, filthiest desires was something else entirely...

 

_How beautiful you look when you're at the very edge, my darling, just begging for me to bring you that sweet release..._

 

His tongue lapped away as he drank from me, groaning deeply.

 

_How delicious you taste... And those sounds that leave your pretty lips every time I take you..._

 

I moaned again, and the bastard slid two fingers into me without warning.

 

My hips bucked against his mouth, his hand, and I gripped his hair tight with both hands, seeking more of the pleasure that was coursing through me.

 

_That's it, my darling. Be a good girl and let yourself go._

 

His fingers worked me vigorously, creating a wet sound as they slid in and out, and through a blurry vision I could make out his jaw working as he made sure to lap up the juices he was coaxing out.

 

My orgasm caught me unawares, gripping me suddenly in wave after wave of white hot pleasure and I drowned in it with a breathless cry.

 

When I resurfaced, I was trembling. And he was still between my legs, running his tongue lazily against my swollen folds.

 

Delirious with pleasure, I was gasping for air. I wanted nothing more than to succumb to the sleep that was just _begging_ to claim me.

 

But I became aware of another person's presence in the Sanctum.

 

Stephen pulled away from me, rising to his knees as he sensed the presence.

 

I sat up quickly. "What is _he_ doing here?"  
I was just reaching for the crimson sheets to cover myself up when Stephen stopped me, a wicked glint dancing in his eyes.

  
Grasping me by the roots of my hair, he pulled me in for a possessive kiss.

 

When he pulled away, he lay me back down on the bed.

 

"Let him watch," he spoke between kisses. "You belong to **_me_** now."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, who is this intruder?


	226. Irate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Stephen smut ahead!

Stephen's POV

 

Her lips were at my ear.

 

"Stephen. _Please..."_

 

She's breathless, her voice barely above a whisper.

 

But I knew exactly what she wanted. What she _needed._

 

It made my heart soar, knowing that she ached for me, the way I do for her. The way I always have.

 

Reaching between her thighs, my fingers sought her silken heat.

 

Her breath hitched and her eyes fluttered shut.

 

 _Yes. Touch me, Stephen,_ her voice whispered to my mind.

 

My fingers slipped into her tight, eager core and she gasped, her back arching.

 

Her hands reached for my shoulders, pulling me to her.

 

"I want... I... I need..."

 

She sounded so desperate. Wrecked.

 

I silenced her with a kiss, my tongue parting her swollen lips to taste her.

 

"I know. _Shhh..."_ I breathed. "I know, sweet girl."

 

I could feel her desire like it was my own.

 

It was maddening, to be able to feel the lust searing through her veins, the pure unadulterated _want..._ And the fact that it completely mirrored my own feelings for her.

 

"I _need_ you..." she gasped. She sounded so utterly desperate, it almost broke my heart.

 

 _I'm addicted to you,_ came her voice in my head. _There's no other way to describe this, Stephen..._

 

I exhaled shakily, placing kisses to her jawline, my fingers stroking her long hair.

 

"My sweet girl..."

 

She turned and brought my lips to hers, kissing me hungrily, her mouth slanting over mine.

 

I felt her moan into the kiss, pleading wordlessly.

 

She wanted me.

 

I could sense it.

 

Her hips rolled sinuously against mine, and I groaned into her mouth.

 

Laying her down without breaking the kiss, I opened her legs.

 

 _Are you ready,_ I asked her.

 

She moaned in response, her nails digging delicously into my arms.

 

Just then, the presence we had sensed a few minutes earlier seemed to become stronger.

 

I pulled away from her lips.

 

Looking into her eyes, I could see that she knew as well as me, who it was...

 

"He'll _see_ us..." she whispered, still breathless from the kiss.

 

I felt a grin tug at my lips, feeling her slight apprehension.

 

She was _adorable._

 

"Let him see," I said, placing a kiss to the top of her breast. "Let him _watch._ You're mine now..."

 

And with that, I sank into her.

 

God, there wasn't a better feeling than being buried in her tight heat, being surrounded by her so _completely._ Feeling her yield to me.

 

I groaned against her neck, inhaling the scent of her skin, my hands weaving into her hair, feeling the silken strands slip through my fingers...

 

 _"Stephen..."_ she moaned, pulling me closer, throwing her head back against the pillows... And in that moment, she was truly _beautiful._

 

My name falling from her plush lips, her eyes closed and an expression of pure ecstasy on her face. I wished I could see her like this forever...

 

 _"Mine..."_ I spoke, a possessive growl punctuating the word.

 

She shuddered against me, a beautiful flush of heat rising in her cheeks, spreading across her chest.

 

"Don't stop... Don't _ever_ stop..." she begged, a tear running down her eye.

 

I wiped it away with my lips.

"Oh- _Stephen."_

 

That presence had grown and I could sense it and so could she. But we were both too far gone to care.

 

Her nails dug into my skin, and by the way she was trembling in my arms, I knew she was close.

 

And so was I.

 

Suddenly, she inhaled sharply and with a frantic gasp of my name, she shattered.

 

I didn't stop. I fucked her straight through it, simply because I couldn't bring myself to stop.

 

Pressing my mouth to hers, I reached my own completion, shuddering.

 

And that was it.

 

It was over.

 

Except that it wasn't.

 

I lay her down onto the bed, pressing a kiss to her lips.

 

She was utterly exhausted. I knew that she just wanted to _sleep._

 

"Sleep, darling," I urged her.

 

_I'll deal with it._

 

She nodded and sank back, her eyes closing.

 

Tucking her under the comforter, I rose from the bed.

 

Grabbing my robe, I put it on.

 

And, sure enough, when I turned around, standing in the doorway was an irate Steve Rogers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep! You called it!   
> What do you think happens next?


	227. Don't Try To Find Me

Steve's POV

I could feel my face heat up with pure _anger._

 

Honestly, I wanted to slap that little smirk off the Doctor's face...

 

He chuckled. Obviously having heard my thoughts.

 

"You'd _really_ want to reconsider that," he said.

 

For a moment, all I could see was red, which was colouring my vision. I was so angry, I couldn't trust myself to speak.

 

Strange walked up to me and stood directly in front of me, arms crossed.

 

"Shall we take this outside?" he asked. "Y/N is sleeping and we wouldn't want to disturb her with our petty quabbles, now, do we, Captain?"

 

I just stared at him, wanting nothing more than to throttle him with my bare hands.

 

Righteousness be damned!

 

He and Y/N... They were... They were...!

 

 _"Yes,_ Steve," Strange sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes, we were. Get over it."

 

That was it, the way he said "get over it". That godforsaken sense of superiority in his tone.  
It pushed me right off the edge.

 

Hauling him up by the shoulders, I slammed his back into the nearest wall.

 

For a moment, all the wind was knocked out of him. And it gave me a sense of savage pleasure.

 

"WHAT THE _FUCK_ DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING, HUH?" I found myself growling angrily.

 

That was all I had the time to speak, before he sent a blast of energy at me, pushing me away from him.

 

I felt the air escape my lungs as I landed gracelessly on the floor on my back.

 

 _"Really,_ Captain?" he drawled, conjuring up a weapon out of thin air. "You really want to fight me on this? Because I can assure you, you'll lose..."

 

I got up from the floor, ready to surge at him, but before I could take two steps, a metal arm was holding me back.

 

"Enough, Stevie," Bucky spoke, his voice tense. "You don't wanna do this."

 

"Actually, I _do,"_ I said, trying to push him away. But Bucky was stronger than me.

 

I struggled against him. "Let me go, James!"  
My vision was bleeding red and all I wanted to do was pummel Stephen Strange into the ground for laying his hands on Y/N...

 

"We need to take this outside," Bucky spoke with a soothing tone, like he was addressing a four year old child.

 

"You really don't wanna do this, punk, he is stronger than you..." Bucky spoke quietly, in that same patient voice. "Stevie, _enough."_

 

I wrenched myself out of Bucky's grip, turning to him with a scowl on my face. "You don't know what he did!" I said, pointing at Strange who was standing in the corner, arms crossed, seething.

 

"I know exactly what he did, Steven," Bucky replied. "Its about time that you accepted the fact that Y/N is in love with Stephen. There's nothing you can do about it..."

 

I stared at Bucky, listening to what he spoke, feeling a sudden ache in my heart. It was one thing to keep denying myself the truth, but when my best friend was admitting it, pointing it out to me, it became another thing entirely.

 

"Stop treating her like a child, Steve. Y/N has made her choice, you need to accept it. She _chose_ Stephen..."

 

The ache in my heart grew ten-fold at his words, and listening to him speak what I had known for months in the back of my mind seemed to make truth more tangible somehow. Inescapable. I couldn't even deny it to myself anymore.

 

_Y/N had chosen Stephen..._

 

Just the simple realization of this fact was so profound that it knocked the breath out of me, harder than Stephen had a few minutes ago.

  
I looked at him.

 

He had a pained expression on his face. Of course, he could read my thoughts.

 

"I'm sorry, Steve..." he began, but I raised my hand up to stop him.

 

 _Take care of her, Strange_ , I told him silently. _She means the world to me..._

His eyes indicated that he had heard my thoughts.

 

He nodded.

 

I turned to Bucky next.

 

He was about to speak, but I cut him off.

 

"Take care of her, Buck," I said, resigning myself to the fact that I had indeed lost her completely. Blinking back the sudden tears and swallowing down the painful lump in my throat I willed myself to speak. "Don't try to find me."

 

And then, I left.

 

 


End file.
